bdsm sex blog. not for minors
44 posts
Cheeseycheesechees - Riley Cheese - Tumblr Blog
I feel like people forget most trans guys still had to grow up as girls.
We were still forced to be mature early
We were still told to not to take up space
We were still subject to female beauty standards
Our bodies were still treated as inappropriate
We were still pitted against each other
We were still excluded from “male” activities
We were still treated as lesser the boys
Those things don’t evaporate once we transition they’re fucking internalized. I constantly have to remind myself I’m allowed to exist. We don’t stop dealing with misogyny.
This will never not be funny to me.
Like/reblog if you think that you don't need to medically transition to be transgender
One time I had a panic attack mid act. We stopped got fast food and continued later once we were horny again
You have a complex relationship with your body and need to keep some/all of your clothes on during sex?
That's okay, what you're wearing looks good on you.
You need to take a lot of breaks doing anything intimate because you're easily overwhelmed?
I understand, I'm just happy to be here with you.
You're on medication that impacts your libido/makes reaching orgasm really difficult?
No pressure, tell me what feels good for you, and if you get frustrated we can do something else together.
Sex isn't going to look the same for everybody and that's fine, that's normal.
Sometimes you don't orgasm, sometimes you need to stop because your mood changes out of nowhere, sometimes you get really self conscious and need accommodations to take your mind off of it.
People are too complex for everybody to go about it the same, just keep doing what feels best for you, regardless of how different it may seem from other people's experiences.
Pushing them up against the wall as soon as you come home from work. Frustration coursing through your veins needing to be released. "You're going to be a good toy and open your legs for me." You say as you push yourself inside without further warning.
Maybe a fun idea
Forced eyecontact will always make me weak in the knees. Like please grab my chin and force me to look at you while you fuck me.
I know youll see this baby
I wanna be soft with my sub
Praise them after they bring me coffee and play with their hair as they wake up
Gentle kisses and back rubs after rough scenes
Hugs when they're sad
Pausing the scene to check on them
"Is that too tight, baby?"
Gently grabbing their neck from behind and tilting their head back to kiss me, my other hand on their waist
Surprise stuffed animals
Getting cozy and watching movies
Holding hands through thunderstorms
It's not all about rough sex and making them cry (even though they look so pretty when they do)
I cant talk to anyone abòut this so im dumping it here.
My beloved and i got back into kink. We hadnt done any thing for 2 years and he only had 2 sessions under his belt before that.
We played. Session one fine fun even. Session two he brings out the belt and i love it. Session three was yesterday. More belt. Very fun. This afternoon my ass starts to hurt.
It's not too bad but a straight wooden chair is too painful. I sit on a pillow for 2 hours playing WoW. I can no longer comfortably lay on my back. Beloved went to put more lotion on. Bruises. Big ones.
I said i wanted bruises one day. I didnt mean now. Serves me right. I guess i expected him to somehow magically have perfect control of his tools. We have retired the belt until i have a higher pain tolerance and he has better control
The Summer Sucks
I don't have a refrigeration unit, so I can only brew when the weather agrees with me. It's been so hot, I have been sitting on this SMASH beer for weeks and I can't make it. Just because the sun wants to exist in my backyard
Bio oil is amazing
I decided to finally forgive myself. I went out and got myself some bio oil. It's made for scars and stretchmarks. I have plenty of scars but the only ones that bother me are the self harm ones.
I've been putting bio oil on twice a day for a week (closer to a week and a half). I can see them melting before my eyes. The worst of them, burns that had me in the ER, are a lot paler and less raised. The cuts on my legs are gone on one side.
I wrote a book!
There is a war that has torn the world in half. The elves against the ogres. The book follows a teenaged elf and a toddler ogre as they try to find a place to call home. Love and loss and amazing dedication for his age.
I feel so useless. I have done literally nothing today, just lay in bed and feel sorry for myself. I know my arm needs to rest but I can't take another day of this. I'm going to do my back first thing in the morning. I just took my rest day in a weird place.
A skill you will need in recovery. You need to learn to sit with the anxiety. Not tracking is going to cause you anxiety. So will not weighing in and eating foods you "shouldn't". It's hard, but you won't get anywhere if you let the urges get the better of you every time.
I'm struggling with it right now. I'm nearly a year in and I want to track like fuck, but it will only hurt me in the long run. I need to wait until the urge passes.
Tumblr was a source of fuel for my anorexia. It's easy to compare and put myself down. Coming back now that I feel more firm in my recovery, well I think it might have been a mistake.
I want to go back to the tags that hurt me back when I suffered. I want to go and see the spo that lies there. I want to get triggered again. And I am. I've been going to these tags and I can feel the rock solid control I had start to slip.
The worst part is that I know those people don't mean any harm. I was there. I only wanted to find a home in a world that denied me one.
I'm back now and I refuse to go back to those tags. I want to help people now, not harm them.
When I used to sit and fantasize about my recovery, I would imagine daintily trying bites of fear foods.
My recovery didn't look like that. It was crying at my first taste of red meat in 6 months. It was refusing to eat in the dining room. It was planning the exact right time to eat breakfast so my inlaws wouldn't see. It was being disappointed by every food I used to love and finding new ones. It was crying when I broke my jeans and the bravery to buy the bigger size. It was getting to know myself outside the aesthetic and realising after it all I don't like food that much.
I am trans and anorexic and those two entities play on each other so well. I'm half convinced my hatred of my own body is what drove me to starve in the first place.
There are 2 very distinct feelings for "I hate my chest for being feminine" and "I hate my chest for being two literal lumps of fat". And they can happen at the same time.
A fun thing about being both trans and on the autism spectrum is that sometimes I can't tell WHY I have discomfort with my body, because it could easily be either or even both.
Like, my legs. Do I dislike having hairy legs because it's a masculine-coded thing, and it's giving me gender dysphoria? Or is it a texture thing, and I just hate the feeling of skin touching skin, which is 10 times worse when it's hairy skin?
(I'm pretty sure the answer is "both")
My wonderful amazing fiance got drunk today. He told me he admired my determination. The fact that I was so dedicated to a look I was willing to kill myself meant 'this person doesn't take shit' but then when I went full force intorecovery 'this person really doesn't take shit'. Then he described me as aggressively working to better myself whether misguided or not
This has made me feel better than anything else could have
I fucked up my elbow, so I can't do like half my exercises and I want to put my head through a wall.
I cannot overstate the impact having good people around you can have. I got the bottom of my eating disorder and I fully believe I would have been bedridden for a lot longer if not for my fiance. He was ready the second I was discharged with the meal plan from my dietian. He put his own damn weight loss on the back burner for months both before and after my starting recovery just to make sure I was eating.
And you know what? It worked. For a very long time the sole reason I pushed through for recovery was for him. Finally I found my own reasons. I'm not tempted to go back anymore.
This is Mickey. He was thin when we first got him. I was struggling with the weight gain so I thought it was good you could feel his bones. I fed him exactly as I learned and now you can't feel his spine when you lift him.
I guess it helped come to terms with my own lack of visible bones.
It's crazy how my perspective has changed. I stopped caring what my body looks like.
I'm elated that I can benchpress 4 kg when 6 months ago I couldn't lift the bar.
I'm amazed I can squat 10 kg because 9 months ago I could barely stand.
I can watch myself in the glass door and critique my form instead of my rolls.
I don't even flinch to add more to a meal.
I don't give a singular fuck what my body looks like. I want strength. I want power. I want the shaking on the last rep. I want the pain of pushing my body. I want to see what my body can do.