Bio Oil Is Amazing

Bio oil is amazing

I decided to finally forgive myself. I went out and got myself some bio oil. It's made for scars and stretchmarks. I have plenty of scars but the only ones that bother me are the self harm ones.

I've been putting bio oil on twice a day for a week (closer to a week and a half). I can see them melting before my eyes. The worst of them, burns that had me in the ER, are a lot paler and less raised. The cuts on my legs are gone on one side.

It's crazy how my perspective has changed. I stopped caring what my body looks like.

I'm elated that I can benchpress 4 kg when 6 months ago I couldn't lift the bar.

I'm amazed I can squat 10 kg because 9 months ago I could barely stand.

I can watch myself in the glass door and critique my form instead of my rolls.

I don't even flinch to add more to a meal.

I don't give a singular fuck what my body looks like. I want strength. I want power. I want the shaking on the last rep. I want the pain of pushing my body. I want to see what my body can do.

The Summer Sucks

I don't have a refrigeration unit, so I can only brew when the weather agrees with me. It's been so hot, I have been sitting on this SMASH beer for weeks and I can't make it. Just because the sun wants to exist in my backyard

Like/reblog if you think that you don't need to medically transition to be transgender

My wonderful amazing fiance got drunk today. He told me he admired my determination. The fact that I was so dedicated to a look I was willing to kill myself meant 'this person doesn't take shit' but then when I went full force intorecovery 'this person really doesn't take shit'. Then he described me as aggressively working to better myself whether misguided or not

This has made me feel better than anything else could have

I feel like people forget most trans guys still had to grow up as girls.

We were still forced to be mature early

We were still told to not to take up space

We were still subject to female beauty standards

Our bodies were still treated as inappropriate

We were still pitted against each other

We were still excluded from “male” activities

We were still treated as lesser the boys

Those things don’t evaporate once we transition they’re fucking internalized. I constantly have to remind myself I’m allowed to exist. We don’t stop dealing with misogyny.