Ana Recovery - Tumblr Posts

I need more recoveryspo that is phrased in the same chant-y, brainwormy way as thinspo. Seriously

i gave myself this disorder i can get rid of it !! i gave myself this disorder i can get rid of it !! i gave myself this disorder i can get rid of it !! i gave myself this disorder i can get rid of it !! i gave myself this disorder i can get rid of it !! i gave myself this disorder i can get rid of it !! i gave myself this disorder i can get rid of it !! i gave myself this disorder i can get rid of it !! i gave myself this disorder i can get rid of it !! i gave myself this disorder i can get rid of it !! i gave myself

So, like... To the Tumblr people who got into ana/mia as a form of self harm, judge their "how sick are you REALLY" status by the number on the scale and are also into the sandman/dead boy detectives:

Despair is the fucking goddess of pain. She understands torturing yourself better than any other being in the universe, she UNDERSTANDS why it gives you a feeling of power to try and chase out the emptiness with more emptiness until you can't see hope anymore. And she doesn't look like fucking thinspo. She doesn't look like regal queen ana. She isn't skinny. She's fat. Because why wouldn't she be? There are so many people who are self destructive and miserable and also overweight, what the fuck is stopping her from being that?

If the fucking goddess of pain can look, not like a 19th century tortured starving artist or like an emaciated goth with no joy left in their eyes, but like a middle-aged fat woman in baggy clothes who sometimes cuts herself to feel something, then your pain is not any less fucking valid if you look more like her than like those fake, imagined thinspo images.

Recovery from your ed won't mean you aren't sick, or miserable, or struggling. I'm not even telling you to get your life and mind together, I know you might really not be in a position to do that. But these disorders could cause damage to you body down the line that there will NEVER be a way out of. (And that's besides the point, but this also applies to drug abuse, so just keep that in mind. Despair of the endless would visit millions of people, every day, who don't need a drug addiction to see her. NOT ALL the cool mentally ill kids are doing this, and neither would you have to to be one of them.) Recovering from the shit that fucks up your body to the point where you can't use it later, will only make it less and less hard for you to get back to the way things were, to when you were able to feel joy and not worry all day every day, one day when you will be ready to try and make your way there.

I'm in recovery now. I've stopped purging, I no longer restrict to the point where I barely have the energy to function. I got out before my body got irreversibly damaged- not that it would matter if I wouldn't have, because this shit can always get worse and you can always put the line as high or as low as you want. And despair still visits me every day, and the misery she brings with her is still real, I haven't suddenly gotten fixed and replaced with a mentally healthy version of myself that doesn't get to complain, I'm STILL SUFFERING, but at least now I A), know that the validity of that doesn't depend on a fucking number, so at least I've got that off my mind, and B), when I will eventually get better and want to, like... Be a functional person, I'll have a body waiting for me to live that happy life through, that will be able to help me with it better than it would have if I kept going. I don't really want to get better just yet, but I do want to want to get better, and one day when I actually will, I'll at least know that my pain on the way there was fucking valid and deserved fucking treatment. Because it always does. Pain always makes you worthy of help against it, no matter what it looks like. Just remember that, and try to stick to the stuff that still leaves the window open for happiness in the future.

realest thing I've seen on tumblr

The sky isn't more clear if you have clear skin. Music isn't more interesting if you have a perfect figure. The best of life exists beyond everything we are meant to feel bad about lacking. ♡

"No matter how bad you think you look, someone's always gonna think you're hot." -Paraphrased from a woman thrice my age.

Never forgiving y'all for normalizing eds

Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438

I just want you all to know that there is life beyond your eating disorder. There is hope.

Your life will not always be numbers, body checks, obsessing over every little detail, binges or restriction, pain and suffering. I know it can feel like your ed is your home, who you should be, who you are. But it's not.

It may feel like you've lost yourself (or you've found yourself within this disorder), but I can promise you that you WILL find the real you again. You were not put on this earth to be sick. That is not your purpose in life.

It could feel like without this, there's nothing to you, that this is the only thing you can do right. It's not. There are so many wonderful things that make you you, and one of them is not your eating disorder.

In a weird way, it's kind of comforting, isn't it? It always trips me up to think about, but sometimes it feels like coming home after a long day and being able to drop your bags. But the thing is, there's no comfort to it at all. Our disorders are fantastic liars, and they've tricked us into think we need it, that without it, we're just a shell of a person. You don't need it, you've never needed it, and like I said previously, this disorder is not what makes you who you are. You do. Not anorexia, b.e.d, bulimia, orthorexia, or ednos.

You deserve a life not centered around food and the rules you've created. You deserve to be able to think about other things. To enjoy life again. Please don't let your ed tell you any differently.

Please reach out if you need someone to talk to or if you'd like to send an ask. I wish you all nothing but the best ♡

Trying to become obsessed with self care the way I was obsessed with self destruction.

I’m sitting here laughing now but it’s crazy how my attitude switches up in just a few days. Like how was I trying to run a little ed blog like 4 days ago now everything’s all good and I’ve decided that hmmm maybe I don’t want to starve myself, or at least don’t need to as I’m only a teen and with that still developing so why ruin my bodily functions and even more so what do I get out of hating myself. I have had on and off disordered eating habits for a while now but I think I genuinely have the drive to keep pushing and take care of myself even when I don’t want to this time, and I know it will take a while to love or at least like myself, so I’m trying to start now. I feel as if I can consider myself lucky to not have fallen into severely disordered and extremely damaging eating habits and since I am overweight with a bit of a slower metabolism I think that gave me some wiggle room as well which I’m thankful for as I was able to not get sick. Kinda a bunch of yap but yea and PLEASE EAT SOMETHING FILLING AND MAKE SURE TO DRINK WATER‼️🫵🏾🫶🏾

You deserve to eat because you exist, that’s all there is to it

Sending all the love to fat people with anorexia. Sending all the love to fat people with bulimia. Your eating disorder is just as serious as it would be in a thin person, and you deserve just as much support and help in your recovery. I know you don't get that experience when you get sick, and you definitely don't get to experience those positive healing vibes when you choose recovery and stop losing weight. Just know that I see you, that I know it's not fair, and that I believe in your immense worth and the worth of your recovery journey.

I'm trying to do better and stop sh but I can't if when I block a hashtag that is triggering there's people talking about how happy they are they reached beans for the first time with c3ns0r3d tags or how they've lost a pound or two in a week or stuff like that

I know this won't stop people from doing any of that but please at least don't post your sh pictures with no "read more" on the SFX tag

This is Mickey. He was thin when we first got him. I was struggling with the weight gain so I thought it was good you could feel his bones. I fed him exactly as I learned and now you can't feel his spine when you lift him.

I guess it helped come to terms with my own lack of visible bones.

I cannot overstate the impact having good people around you can have. I got the bottom of my eating disorder and I fully believe I would have been bedridden for a lot longer if not for my fiance. He was ready the second I was discharged with the meal plan from my dietian. He put his own damn weight loss on the back burner for months both before and after my starting recovery just to make sure I was eating.

And you know what? It worked. For a very long time the sole reason I pushed through for recovery was for him. Finally I found my own reasons. I'm not tempted to go back anymore.

My wonderful amazing fiance got drunk today. He told me he admired my determination. The fact that I was so dedicated to a look I was willing to kill myself meant 'this person doesn't take shit' but then when I went full force intorecovery 'this person really doesn't take shit'. Then he described me as aggressively working to better myself whether misguided or not

This has made me feel better than anything else could have

When I used to sit and fantasize about my recovery, I would imagine daintily trying bites of fear foods.

My recovery didn't look like that. It was crying at my first taste of red meat in 6 months. It was refusing to eat in the dining room. It was planning the exact right time to eat breakfast so my inlaws wouldn't see. It was being disappointed by every food I used to love and finding new ones. It was crying when I broke my jeans and the bravery to buy the bigger size. It was getting to know myself outside the aesthetic and realising after it all I don't like food that much.

Tumblr was a source of fuel for my anorexia. It's easy to compare and put myself down. Coming back now that I feel more firm in my recovery, well I think it might have been a mistake.

I want to go back to the tags that hurt me back when I suffered. I want to go and see the spo that lies there. I want to get triggered again. And I am. I've been going to these tags and I can feel the rock solid control I had start to slip.

The worst part is that I know those people don't mean any harm. I was there. I only wanted to find a home in a world that denied me one.

I'm back now and I refuse to go back to those tags. I want to help people now, not harm them.

A skill you will need in recovery. You need to learn to sit with the anxiety. Not tracking is going to cause you anxiety. So will not weighing in and eating foods you "shouldn't". It's hard, but you won't get anywhere if you let the urges get the better of you every time.

I'm struggling with it right now. I'm nearly a year in and I want to track like fuck, but it will only hurt me in the long run. I need to wait until the urge passes.

Just clearing any confusion - this is not a safe space for pro ana accounts. As a person struggling with an ED, my blog will NEVER tolerate the romanticization and normalization of any type of ED. Mental illness is not to be desired, it's awful, and it does not make a person anything other than miserable.

Stay YOURSELF. Stay curious

This makes me so happy and I wish this for every person. 🫶🩷

I ate so much yesterday. My eating disorder wanted to be really upset about it, but I found the strength to LITERALLY say "Fuck you eating disorder. Food is the least interesting thing about the day."

We opened the musical I'm working on! I spent time with friends at the after party! I played games and had a couple drinks. I laughed and took fun pictures with people I care about!

I won't remember everything I ate yesterday but I will remember the fun I had