A Skill You Will Need In Recovery. You Need To Learn To Sit With The Anxiety. Not Tracking Is Going To

A skill you will need in recovery. You need to learn to sit with the anxiety. Not tracking is going to cause you anxiety. So will not weighing in and eating foods you "shouldn't". It's hard, but you won't get anywhere if you let the urges get the better of you every time.

I'm struggling with it right now. I'm nearly a year in and I want to track like fuck, but it will only hurt me in the long run. I need to wait until the urge passes.

When I used to sit and fantasize about my recovery, I would imagine daintily trying bites of fear foods.

My recovery didn't look like that. It was crying at my first taste of red meat in 6 months. It was refusing to eat in the dining room. It was planning the exact right time to eat breakfast so my inlaws wouldn't see. It was being disappointed by every food I used to love and finding new ones. It was crying when I broke my jeans and the bravery to buy the bigger size. It was getting to know myself outside the aesthetic and realising after it all I don't like food that much.

One time I had a panic attack mid act. We stopped got fast food and continued later once we were horny again

You have a complex relationship with your body and need to keep some/all of your clothes on during sex?

That's okay, what you're wearing looks good on you.

You need to take a lot of breaks doing anything intimate because you're easily overwhelmed?

I understand, I'm just happy to be here with you.

You're on medication that impacts your libido/makes reaching orgasm really difficult?

No pressure, tell me what feels good for you, and if you get frustrated we can do something else together.

Sex isn't going to look the same for everybody and that's fine, that's normal.

Sometimes you don't orgasm, sometimes you need to stop because your mood changes out of nowhere, sometimes you get really self conscious and need accommodations to take your mind off of it.

People are too complex for everybody to go about it the same, just keep doing what feels best for you, regardless of how different it may seem from other people's experiences.

Tumblr was a source of fuel for my anorexia. It's easy to compare and put myself down. Coming back now that I feel more firm in my recovery, well I think it might have been a mistake.

I want to go back to the tags that hurt me back when I suffered. I want to go and see the spo that lies there. I want to get triggered again. And I am. I've been going to these tags and I can feel the rock solid control I had start to slip.

The worst part is that I know those people don't mean any harm. I was there. I only wanted to find a home in a world that denied me one.

I'm back now and I refuse to go back to those tags. I want to help people now, not harm them.

I cant talk to anyone abòut this so im dumping it here.

My beloved and i got back into kink. We hadnt done any thing for 2 years and he only had 2 sessions under his belt before that.

We played. Session one fine fun even. Session two he brings out the belt and i love it. Session three was yesterday. More belt. Very fun. This afternoon my ass starts to hurt.

It's not too bad but a straight wooden chair is too painful. I sit on a pillow for 2 hours playing WoW. I can no longer comfortably lay on my back. Beloved went to put more lotion on. Bruises. Big ones.

I said i wanted bruises one day. I didnt mean now. Serves me right. I guess i expected him to somehow magically have perfect control of his tools. We have retired the belt until i have a higher pain tolerance and he has better control