Im Sitting Here Laughing Now But Its Crazy How My Attitude Switches Up In Just A Few Days. Like How Was

I’m sitting here laughing now but it’s crazy how my attitude switches up in just a few days. Like how was I trying to run a little ed blog like 4 days ago now everything’s all good and I’ve decided that hmmm maybe I don’t want to starve myself, or at least don’t need to as I’m only a teen and with that still developing so why ruin my bodily functions and even more so what do I get out of hating myself. I have had on and off disordered eating habits for a while now but I think I genuinely have the drive to keep pushing and take care of myself even when I don’t want to this time, and I know it will take a while to love or at least like myself, so I’m trying to start now. I feel as if I can consider myself lucky to not have fallen into severely disordered and extremely damaging eating habits and since I am overweight with a bit of a slower metabolism I think that gave me some wiggle room as well which I’m thankful for as I was able to not get sick. Kinda a bunch of yap but yea and PLEASE EAT SOMETHING FILLING AND MAKE SURE TO DRINK WATER‼️🫵🏾🫶🏾

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Never forgiving y'all for normalizing eds

Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438

So I work at a library and about a month ago I helped a little old woman who is legally blind figure out how to listen to our audiobooks on her tablet. We got to chatting and I mentioned that I always listen to audiobooks while I knit, which made her very excited and she told me all about the afghans she used to make when she could still see. She was so sweet and I was so glad to be able to help her figure out a way to still enjoy books without being able to read.

Yesterday I answered the phone at work and when I said my name the woman on the other line got so excited and said “Madeline?? You’re exactly who I wanted to talk to! This is Marie, you helped me about a month ago. How late are you working today?” It was her!! And about an hour later she and her husband showed up, and she was carrying a huge stack of old knitting patterns for me, and her husband brought in a few boxes full of yarn. They couldn’t stay long but I was so touched that she remembered me, and I struggled to not just flat out start crying when she handed me the patterns. When I looked through them later I realized it was her entire personal collection from over the years, including all her personal notes and drawings and even some photographs of her finished pieces. No one in my family knits, and to have someone pass on their legacy to me like that was incredibly moving.

This isn’t what I usually post here, but with life being especially dark lately I wanted to share a moment of happiness and a reminder that a bit of kindness goes a long way ♡