Cheeseycheesechees - Riley Cheese

I feel like people forget most trans guys still had to grow up as girls.

We were still forced to be mature early

We were still told to not to take up space

We were still subject to female beauty standards

Our bodies were still treated as inappropriate

We were still pitted against each other

We were still excluded from “male” activities

We were still treated as lesser the boys

Those things don’t evaporate once we transition they’re fucking internalized. I constantly have to remind myself I’m allowed to exist. We don’t stop dealing with misogyny.

Tumblr was a source of fuel for my anorexia. It's easy to compare and put myself down. Coming back now that I feel more firm in my recovery, well I think it might have been a mistake.

I want to go back to the tags that hurt me back when I suffered. I want to go and see the spo that lies there. I want to get triggered again. And I am. I've been going to these tags and I can feel the rock solid control I had start to slip.

The worst part is that I know those people don't mean any harm. I was there. I only wanted to find a home in a world that denied me one.

I'm back now and I refuse to go back to those tags. I want to help people now, not harm them.

I know youll see this baby

I wanna be soft with my sub

Praise them after they bring me coffee and play with their hair as they wake up

Gentle kisses and back rubs after rough scenes

Hugs when they're sad

Pausing the scene to check on them

"Is that too tight, baby?"

Gently grabbing their neck from behind and tilting their head back to kiss me, my other hand on their waist

Surprise stuffed animals

Getting cozy and watching movies

Holding hands through thunderstorms

It's not all about rough sex and making them cry (even though they look so pretty when they do)

This is Mickey. He was thin when we first got him. I was struggling with the weight gain so I thought it was good you could feel his bones. I fed him exactly as I learned and now you can't feel his spine when you lift him.

I guess it helped come to terms with my own lack of visible bones.

Pushing them up against the wall as soon as you come home from work. Frustration coursing through your veins needing to be released. "You're going to be a good toy and open your legs for me." You say as you push yourself inside without further warning.