Authentic Self - Tumblr Posts

Quote attributed to Betty White with a personal reflection at the end.

Quote from you are a badass

Sometimes you need to take risks

A quote about successful people from the work "You Are a Badass" #pastormike1976 #youareawesome #dontforgetit #words #quote #quotes #youareabadass #tenacity #sucessful #successfulpeople #leapingoverhurdles #hurdles #humiliating #concerned #whoyouare #phenomenal #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #gay #allmeansall #boring #beyourself #authenticself #authenticallyyou

A quote about learning to say "No" for your wellbeing.

Little tweaks in our life can add up to big changes. #pastormike1976 #youareawesome #dontforgetit #words #encouragement #think #changes #wanttoimprove #selfimprovement #littletweaks #goforthegoalposts #goforthegoal #yougotthis #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #gay #loveislove #allmeansall #authenticself

What do you chose today to live with and to put into the world?

Reflection on loving yourself

quote on habits from the work "You Are a Bad Ass"

34 -

My family thinks I’m absolutely nuts. They’re constantly whispering to younger cousins “don’t copy her” and “she’ll always be the wild one, never thinking”. I was desperate to fit in but I never really did. And now I’m out here wondering why the hell I ever wanted to in the first place.

Blood is thicker than water, but water has the power to dilute the strength of blood.

True, I can be reckless and impulsive. If I want something, I have to have it. I am selfish and persistent in my pursuit. Whether or not it’s good for me is another story. I’m stubborn and sensitive, sometimes blindly optimistic.

But frankly, if we spend time waiting for the perfect moment….it’ll never come. No matter how much we plan and prepare, there are always uncertainties.

I believe we have to create opportunities for ourselves. I don’t want to wait around and wonder, I want to know. If I fail (is anything really a failure or just a redirection?), then I have more information than I started with. Something was still gained.

Some caution is a good thing. However, awareness + acceptance always > caution.

It’s not about succeeding - it’s about trying. It’s about having faith, trusting that things are always working out in your favor. Reflection and introspection, then continuing to move forward. Everything is a lesson, to teach us more about ourselves.

At the end of my life, I want to be able to say I lived a full one. That I didn’t hold back out of fear. That I didn’t succumb to being a victim of circumstance, I didn’t stay complacent within the status quo. I don’t want there to be any “what-ifs”. I want to be able to say that it all had to happen this way. That I understand the meaning of my story.

That I loved fiercely and passionately. That I didn’t allow the injustices of the world to harden me. That I used my pain for good, turned it into hope. That I continued to strive for better, that I never gave up.

That I didn’t do it perfectly, but I did it with compassion, self-respect, and grace. That I confidently pursued my dreams and I humbly acknowledged my mistakes. That my experiences shaped me, they didn’t just happen to me.

At the end, I want to say that I know who I am and what I stand for. That in my life, I made the most of it to become the truest version of myself.

47 -

Lately I’ve been feeling a sense of peace within myself. It’s really nice but I can’t help but wonder when it will go away and I’ll be back to the me as I’ve always known myself: melancholy, aloof, insecure, anxious…

But what if it stays?

Been trying this new thing where I trust my intuition (my greater She) in how I behave, the decisions I make, the things I say. I’m starting to trust in myself to choose the right thing over what’s easy or simply status quo.

I have faith that if one door closes, a window will open. Because it always does.

While I don’t have it all figured out yet, not even close, I’m trying to relish each present moment - the joy of figuring it out.

Happiness is a choice, it’s a mentality.

Not to downplay my own struggles or past regrets/mistakes - but I have a lot to be proud of. I’m not perfect by any means but that is okay too. Because I continue to try, be open minded, stay unassuming, learn and challenge myself. I don’t give up on myself.

Even if I think I am, I’m not. Because I’m still here and I’m still taking on the next day.

Does this mean I’m a good person? Or does this mean I am just human, with all the complexities.

A big thing I noticed is that black or white thinking. I’ve had a hard time forgiving myself for anything really….because it didn’t jive with me “being a good person” or “being worthy”. I couldn’t be one without the other.

But then I’d forgive others in a heartbeat. Second chances? More like 3, 4, to infinity. Because I believe in the power of people changing. I’ve been trying to view myself as how I’d view someone else. I’m much kinder to others than I am to me.

Like I have it all ass backwards haha.

Now I realize that I have to cheer myself on. No one else will do it for me. And if I don’t, I’ll never get anywhere because I’ll always be too scared.

So if anyone is reading this, do what you need to let it all go. The expectations of what “should be”or how you “should be”. Scream in the car, delete that person from your friend list, go on a road trip by yourself, write affirmations on sticky notes and post them everywhere, cry your heart out, listen to your favorite song on repeat, throw yourself into your favorite hobby or start a new one, write all your worries on a piece of paper and burn it, break some shit then break some more shit, journal all your feelings on a random tumblr blog (haha), do something that scares you, make conversation with a stranger….I don’t know - just do something! Anything.

If it doesn’t work, do it again. And again. And again. Until it does.

Don’t worry if you look stupid or silly or uncool doing it. Do it for you. Forgive yourself for it all. You were and still are doing the best you could.

And don’t laugh at me when I say that because I used to make fun of all the people on social media who would say “X and X” solved all my problems and now I’m just this happy little leprechaun finding rainbows and gold everywhere. It’s not that simple but it also is.

Way easier said than done am I right *rolls eyes*

Know that you don’t have to have all the answers and you sure as hell don’t need to be perfect.

You are the one who writes your story so you get to decide who the main character is. Who you are. Who do you want to be?

As I’ve been healing, slowly but surely, people have fallen off. It really sucks to lose people. But the right ones have stayed & our relationships are so much sweeter and truer.

As I’ve accepted what I can do and what I can’t do, it’s been so freeing to feel like I’m not disappointing the world.

One day it will work. And then life will feel like magic.

Because lately, the thought that crosses my mind is: this is what it was meant to feel like all along.

70 -

What a day this has turned into. I found out a coworker that was let go last week may have blabbed about my drinking problem - likely to shift the spotlight.

I understand but I really don’t. I wouldn’t do that to another person.

I don’t want my substance abuse issues to ruin yet another thing in my life. I’m really trying not to let it.

You know? I am doing my best. Sometimes my best means more one day and less on another. Sometimes my best means doing it half assed instead of avoiding it.

I’m not perfect and I am horribly inconsistent in everything I do but I still try. I acknowledge my vulnerabilities and embrace my strengths.

As an addict, there’s a stigma associated with it. Once people know, I fear that’s all they see.

It’s all I’ve seen for a long, long time.

I have come far and I continue to learn.

I know that 99% of the time, people’s actions & behaviors have more to do with themselves than with me. The way they behave is as a result of their thought patterns and beliefs. It’s hard not to take it personally. Especially as an insecure only child - surprise!! It really had nothing to do with me all along.

I feel invalidated. Someone else is using my vulnerability and pain to hide theirs. How twisted huh.

It’s almost like that voice in my head, the one that says “you are a piece of shit, you’ll never amount to anything worthy and you’ll always struggle” - she got a little louder after being quiet for a while. Ugh.

Tomorrow will be a good day, I know it. Day over day it’s hard to see the evolution but I look back to a year ago and ….. definitely not where I want to be BUT I think I might actually like myself now?

If I say love, I’m afraid I’ll jinx it.

So we are making moves and improving and when people try to take us out, we say NOT TODAY SATAN!!!!

Cheers lol