Love Letter: My True Feelings - Tumblr Posts
Firstly I am unable to sleep and on top of that I remember you all night long.
never going to talk to her so imma write a letter (which I'll never send) that'll keep my mind fucked for 14+ hours with minimum amount of sleep.
Since like yesterday, I have a sudden urge to receive a bunch of pretty red roses and a long handwritten letter. It can be from a friend or a guy, I just want it.
Bunch Of Red Rose🌹
My arrival on a Christmas Day.
Happy valentine day
I’ve fallen for her smile,
Say yes to me if you believe in love.
I’ve fallen for her smile,
Say yes to me if you believe in love.
I always have had big feelings.
It's a curse and blessing.
When I love, I love with all my existence, so much that the love overflows and topples me over like a high tide on a full moon night. And when I hurt... I feel it everywhere. first, it tugs at my feet like the first big wave of the night and then it takes over me like a tsunami.
The hurt reverberates in me and echoes in everything I do. It burns my touches, my smiles and my breaths. The love emanates from me like radiation, everything glows bright and the lightness in my step makes the pavements look pink on a gloomy night. Being with you feels like a sunset, the pinks and oranges fading into an ultraviolet that brings me an incandescent smile. The calm after a day with blazing heat and raging Manhattan breeze feeding into the slow waves of the Hudson against the pier into a night so vibrant and blue it puts the city lights to shame. I chase the moon. As a child of feelings that eat me up the night protects me from judgmental eyes and wraps me in a blanket of comfort. As I lay there, on several dark nights, on city rooftops, shedding tears of red and gold, the moon stood right above me. The moon had been my best friend before I understood the meaning of the word in a moving human being. You feel like the moon comes down on the earth to be my best friend shining light on a dark stormy night. Like the one I come to during times of turbulence. Again, I am well aware these are feelings that aren't necessarily described as normal psychologically. but I have never been one for being "normal". I am too much for everyone and myself. I smile too much and cry too much. Ask too much and reveal too much. I shy away too much and achieve too much. I love too much and hate too much. I am sad too much and worry too much. I am alone too much and I push people away too much. I think about myself too much and wish I didn't disappoint people too much. I hurt too much and love too much. Yet all I crave is the intimacy of being understood. Everyone sees me, eviscerates me, points fingers at me, criticises me and admires me. Not many know me... Do I know me? Do I know you? What are you if not the pieces you have shown me... and if those pieces are anything to go by, I know we are similar.
You love a lot, with all your being. You love the trees, the sun, the moon, the wind, your friends and your family. To be loved by you would be a blessing from the heavens above. To be the one lighting up your eyes and making you turn red. To be the one who takes care of you and makes a fuss about you for once. I am scarred, everywhere outside and inside. The demons that I acquired in the game of life have poisoned my brain into believing I shouldn't deserve someone who can give so much pure unadulterated love. But I refuse to listen to them... I am scared, I always am. Too much (again). Disappointment has been my companion through the rough journies I have taken up until this point. To get disappointed by you and/or to disappoint you would be a shame. You remind me of me- the version who loves with no inhibitions and sees joy in nature. The image of you smiling at the sunset- a recurring occurrence, will forever be etched in my brain. That exact moment was when I fell in love with myself. Seeing you do something I used to do until I started letting people get to me and realising how beautiful your soul is when I fell for myself.
The pragmatic brain in me tells me that it is probably too soon for me to even believe I am in love with you, while the hopeless heart retorts that I fell in love with myself and that is the more important aspect. Is there a point to this rambling other than to detangle the mess in my brain? Not initially, but now the point seems to be the realisation I have had on exactly how deep my feelings could go. Added with the epiphany that I am not scared about it either. Once again, pragmatism and past pain should know better but I have always been the one to feel with all my being. So it only makes sense I feel this with every fibre cell, even the one still recovering from the last fall.
I've never loved anyone's beard again. He was the only one... I loved every piece of him. Every flaw of him and every scar on his skin and soul... Every open wound those hiding on his eyes... Every single colour of him and his emotions... Every face that he has ever made rather sad, angry or happy... And every smile of him even if it's seen for to hide a very last goodbye.
I'd recognize you in another lifetime entirely in different bodies, different lives. And i'd love you in all of this, until the very last star in the sky burnt out into oblivion.
Nights of saddness laughters ✨
Yine beni karşılamaya gelmiş
"If this was like the old days, I'd make the mailman wait until I read and finished soaking over your letter, until I poured myself into another letter, and sent it with him to you."
-Isabella Lamberty, Lean Into Us
"My Vows" by Isabella Lamberty
My soul embarks, and stains,
the soul stamped with his name
The numbness of life surroundings
Birds pecking out my shortcomings
I'm left in a pile of black feathers
Shaking in the shadows of a father's
Lackluster lingering marriage
Somethings a miss
Praying over spilled beads, throwing out ripped jeans
Eyes spinning in bad dreams, us loving prophetic things,
Elbow pains and elbow sores, my crooked dresser drawers,
Lying lovers harboring bedsores, the bit: “I’m sick of being yours!”
Fiddling with the fibers just to cross the road
Latching on to piping hot love but the tea’s cold-
Falling over in lamplit streets, eventually going home.
Because every little fiber just didn’t wanna know
I’m left in a pile of love letter similes baked in snow
Blank little white boards for personal love scores
Loose rhymes, stern words, lost myself in microscopic blurbs-
That settles the score!
Love is like winning a long dead war, where I never get to touch him,
Never get to be rewired, sifting through the fibers- of this married bore.
He never wrote a letter so I have the heroin nod,
I fought off birds against all odds,
So I present the tared feathers in awe,
For all those lingering in marriage,
I rip stickers off plastic sheets, harboring the early birds starry deep!
My soul- like his- a husband in hiding, me some wife to reside in-
Was a miss.
I stained boards and beams, never leaving a single seam
To any nuptial sheet, never turning a cheek, this would seem-
to settle my score!
Love is like winning a long dead war,
So much praying and pecking,
Just to end in divorce.
remembering the days when she used to peak through the window glasses for a glance of him. Waiting for hours and hours with eyes wide open, just to take a look of that loving face of him. As after certain time, she get to know his Park going time. She just waits at the park for him. Neither did she talked or none a gesture to tell him that she likes him. But those romantic eyes tells him that she's in love. Day after day their conversation increased and so did their immense love for each other. Every evening at the corner of the park where there is huge bushes present to have some privacy to meet. She dressed up in her long brown gown and he in his black and brown coat meets each other. They realized this relationship should be named.
The man proposed her. She with her rosy cheeks nodded for a yes. All her childhood weeding dreams got real. Marrying with her dream man in real. They celebrated their marriage in the states with Kings and Queens as a guest. Afterall she was proud that she was marrying a soldier. Who would fought for the nation one day. But the little did she know that her first love was never meant all the promises. As the war broke down, the distance between those two elevates. During the day she waits for him to came back all loving and young as she saw him at first. All nights she use to cry under those soft velvety blanket knowing the war could take his man forever. Writing long love notes, pressing kisses and flowers were being the only attachment they had. Looking at the mail box with that gloomy face with a enlivened heart. Those love letters were so precious, she caresses the old torn page like it had his lovers soul. Her heart instantly chooses to be bright and hopeful.
With the calmness and tranquility she drifted into sleep still in the fear of loosing him. But her butterflies world broke apart when the love letters changes to martyred note. Knowing her love of her life now never existed. That he broke the promise to die and live together. Sorrowness that only twenty three years of her age, she already lost the most salient person of her life. Yet, with immense pride in her heart she cried off.
It's always been me tiptoeing to kiss you and not you bend down to kiss me.
the art of sisterhood, the importance of black sisterhood. my love letter to my bestfriends.
Sisterhood by definition and quite simply means the relationship between sisters.
Prospective Lines foundation is community and togetherness. This project in collaboration with my bestfriends of over ten years is the very meaning of the lining of what prospective lines as a whole means. the art of showing up for those you love most. my friends are the true epitome of what being a woman means; loving, carefree, creative, full of life, full of laughter, full of endless amounts of joy and love. they are one of the highlights of my life, and life without them, would simply be unbearable. these ladies make loving them easy. Peace, Mia, Jill, Mariatu and Temi are the very essence of my heart. I have struggled to put into words what having a great friendship can do for one, and today I've finally got it. A great friendship fuels your soul and gives you life. That, and having God at the centre of your union. The cheat code for sisterhood in words - is simple and whilst there is no right or wrong way.
This is what I've nailed it down to, transparency, accountability, consistency, communication, commitment, understanding and honesty.
This project was my way to showcase our lifelong friendship in photographs. I wanted the shoot to reflect them and be fun and full of love. Our collective @ne6retias was established on the social media platform, Instagram in early February of 2023. We wanted to create a space to showcase our togetherness, our 10 plus years of friendship, the community we have built together and having a safe space to just be ourselves. That is everything that the Negretias Instagram represents as it's a mirrored reflection of how we've always been, just showeased on a broader platform for everyone to see. It is quite unique to see friendships that last out of secondary school. Especially close friendships. This project entitled,
'Negretias's (Berry's Version) being this weeks 'faces' highlight, on the launch of our site 'Prospective Lines' is the most special way to release my heart to the world. So to my very own Benny, Jilly, Mimi, Mari and Tem Tem. I say thank you. Thank you for this wonderful gift of friendship. For our sisterhood. For creating a safe space for me and giving me hope and support in every element of the phrase. Thank you for being my guiding light and sticking beside me for all of these years. I can only pray that God's love continues to shine through all 5 of you.
That God strengths you, protects you and makes you happy. All I want is happiness and love for all of you. I want you to win in everything you do. You are all so hardworking and I admire you all so much in different ways. I love that we all bring something special and authentic to our sister circle. With that being said, the 6 of us are, forever.
I'll be here to support and celebrate you forever. to pour into you when you most need it and even when you don't. I love you all day, all night for the rest of my life! Negretias world forever and ever and ever and after that! Here's to you my loves.
the love of my life is, the love of my life 🫀
(this is from a post from my website, thought I would share 🪽)
