The Patriarchy - Tumblr Posts

“It’s literally impossible to be a woman.

You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow, we're always doing it wrong?

You have to be thin, but not too thin, and you can never say you wanna be thin. You have to say you wanna be healthy, but also, you have to BE THIN.

You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass.

You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean.

You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas.

You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time.

You have to be a career woman, but also, always be looking out for other people.

You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is INSANE, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining!

You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood, but ALWAYS STAND OUT and ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL. But never forget that the system is rigged, so find a way to acknowledge that but ALSO, always be grateful!

You have to never get old. Never be rude. Never show off. Never be selfish. Never fall down. Never fail. Never show fear. Never get OUT OF LINE. It's too hard! It's too contradictory, and nobody gives you a medal or says 'thank you!' And it turns out, in fact, that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also, everything is your fault.

I'm just so tired of watching myself, and every single other woman tie herself into knots, so that people will like us.

And if all of that, is also true for a doll just representing a woman, then I don't even know." -Gloria the barbie movie

this is it. this is exactly it oh my god.

‘It’s a world made by men, for the benefit of men.’

The patriarchy, male privilege, gender oppression… again and again, we are beaten over the head with dogmatic, absolutist, and terrifying catch phrases, each to be accepted without question.

You see, when it comes to political and structural advantage, men have it all, and women have none.

But do such theories make sense in modern society?

Why, if our male privilege is so sweet, do so many thousands of men end their lives in such tragic stories of suicide?

Why, if our society is so patriarchal, does it ignore the countless and increasingly urgent issues that devastate men and boys?

And why, if this society is designed for my advantage, no less as a straight white man, then why in the build-up to a General Election is there not one policy designed for men and boys?

I don’t understand.

And if the world hates and neglects women so much, why do our major political parties line up to offer them a plethora of well-meaning policies, showering them with taxpayer money, and words of support, compassion, and kindness?

The political agendas are out, outlining the next generation of political change, and ambition, and it’s chock full of ‘women and girls’ being a national priority.

Meanwhile any question about the other half of society, to rightfully ask ‘what about men and boys?’, will only draw sneers and squeals, eye rolls, and violence, ‘this isn’t about you’, they snap back.

Yes.

We know that already. That’s the point.

It never is.

It never is about boys falling behind and out of education.

It never is about the homeless men left to die on the street.

It never is about the millions of male victims of abuse with nowhere to go.

Those who say, ‘this isn’t about you’, have yet to realise they have missed the point entirely, whilst simultaneously impaling themselves upon it.

We know.

This isn’t about us, and it never is.

So, who, in another full house of political neglect, betrayal and failure, are you going to vote for?

trying to tell a man that you care about his feelings without making him feel weird

AMEN!

i am not being needlessly alarmist when i say that popular feminism has become extremely radfem-esque and that the normalisation of negative stereotypes towards men needs to be resisted. like. i clearly remember when feminists were derided as "man-hating feminazis" and the main counter-argument to that went something like "we don't hate men, feminism is for everyone, patriarchy harms men too and our goal is to dismantle that oppressive system, this will benefit everyone including men, men can and should be feminists because feminism is a movement for gender equality"

in fact the major rebuttal to men forming "men's rights" movements was always that the issues these groups identified were the negative impacts of the patriarchy on men. they didn't need a separate group because feminism was for everyone and feminist thought and theorising already accounted for the ways patriarchy harms men. which is true! many of the societal issues faced by men stem from white supremacist patriarchy and restrictive gender roles and traditionally feminism has given thought and time to those issues. feminism is for everyone and it is concerned with men's struggles under patriarchy alongside women's.

but somewhere in the last few decades that attitude fell by the wayside and now popular online feminism is this radfem-flavored "all men are bad forever" thing. now mocking, belittling, or hating men is #feminist #praxis. it's feminist to make jokes about #killallmen. it's feminist to view masculinity as inherently bad and dangerous. it's feminist to talk about the men in your life like they're animals who need to be house trained, or emotionally stunted children who need to be babied and distracted.

it's this idea of flipping patriarchy on its head and saying that actually women are the Superior Gender, women deserve to run the world and make all the decisions, and actually it's men who are the Inferior Gender who can't be trusted or left unsupervised.

these attitudes will always have the most severe negative impact on marginalised men. i don't know how we got here but it's past time we circled back around to "feminism is for everyone".

Does anyone else feel like the general attitude towards cross dressing is so misogynistic? Because to me it feels like women presenting masculinely are treated as if they're empowering themselves; some people are threatened by it and some are attracted to it. Whereas when a man presents femininely, he is almost always treated as if he's degrading himself for the benefit of others' sexual interests. Which falls right in line with how women have been treated for decades, doesn't it? If a woman wears makeup and gets dolled up, it's ALWAYS assumed that she's doing it for men, and no matter WHAT she does, she WILL be degraded for it. Whereas if a man puts on some ruddy cologne and slides into a clean suit, he is treated as the most powerful person in the room. Why is it that women are only seen as independent and powerful and dominant when they're imitating a traditional man? Why is it that men are seen as slutty, attention seeking and incompetent when imitating a traditional woman? Does anyone else see how absolutely fucked up that is?

I hate all of these useless words like "feminine" and masculine" that don't mean anything of substance. I want to live in a world where we shed adjectives that push people in gender-based boxes and we all embrace our most authentic selves; the way God created us to be.

reblogging this so i dont forget it

“It’s literally impossible to be a woman.

You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow, we're always doing it wrong?

You have to be thin, but not too thin, and you can never say you wanna be thin. You have to say you wanna be healthy, but also, you have to BE THIN.

You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass.

You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean.

You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas.

You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time.

You have to be a career woman, but also, always be looking out for other people.

You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is INSANE, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining!

You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood, but ALWAYS STAND OUT and ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL. But never forget that the system is rigged, so find a way to acknowledge that but ALSO, always be grateful!

You have to never get old. Never be rude. Never show off. Never be selfish. Never fall down. Never fail. Never show fear. Never get OUT OF LINE. It's too hard! It's too contradictory, and nobody gives you a medal or says 'thank you!' And it turns out, in fact, that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also, everything is your fault.

I'm just so tired of watching myself, and every single other woman tie herself into knots, so that people will like us.

And if all of that, is also true for a doll just representing a woman, then I don't even know." -Gloria the barbie movie

this is it. this is exactly it oh my god.

“Ken wouldn’t do that to Barbie, it’s out of character!” Babes, that is the point.

Ken and his discovery of the patriarchy and the way it changes him is the exact same as what happens with adolescent boys. You have these guys who were so close to you, wether through friendship or family become people that they aren’t due to both peer pressure and the desire to hold power. Especially with the whole “podcast bro” thing he had going on in the Ken Dojo Casa House scene, Ken represents all the boys that lean into the patriarchy and change for the worst.

Ken was always so sweet, he was stupid and lovable and would do anything for Barbie. Then he got roped into toxic masculinity and all of a sudden he was cruel and pretentious. This is the same path that many of the guys I was friends with as a kid fell down. Barbie represents growing up as a woman and Ken represents growing up as a man.