Patriarchy - Tumblr Posts
lavendermuseums
Patriarchy is when a male (usually the father) has complete power and authority over everything and that includes the women and children. The power and authority is only given to males and is passed down to only males while women are completely excluded and is not allowed to hold any power or authority.
Misogyny is the hatred for women and girls. Examples of that are sexism, victim blaming, discrimination and violence against females and double standards between men and women.
Examples of double standards:
- male nipples = ok; female nipples = not ok, indecent, disgusting (especially when it comes to breastfeeding in public)
- the amount of sexual partners one has had in their lifetime: men = studs; women = slut, whore, etc.
- women who are assertive are bitches while men are praised for being assertive
-if a woman chooses not to have children, she’s considered selfish or someone will either try to change her mind or assume she’ll change her mind while having children is usually not discussed with men
- overweight women are shamed, bullied and are more pressured to lose weight than overweight men
"The original sin was matricide. The toppling of the matriarchies and the rape and murder of the mothers was, and still is, the greatest of all sins. No purging of our culture has occurred since the Inquisition no public accounting for the sins of the 'fathers.' A major contribution to the continuing hostility and alienation of males is their deep core of guilt. Men continue to be guilty of matricide. No amount of purification will take that blemish away."
-Z. Budapest, The Holy Book of Women's Mysteries
Essential Feminist Texts Booklist
The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir
A Vindication of The Rights of Women by Mary Wollstonecraft
Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center by Bell Hooks
Feminism is For Everybody: Passionate Politics by Bell Hooks
The Dialectic of Sex: The Case for Feminist Revolution by Shulamith Firestone
Sexual Politics by Kate Millett
Full Frontal Feminism by Jessica Valenti
Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype by Clarissa Pinkola Estes
The Creation of Patriarchy by Gerda Lerner
Yes Means Yes!: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape by Jessica Valenti
Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men by Caroline Criado Perez
Bad Feminist by Roxanne Gay
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
Hood Feminism: Notes from the Women That a Movement Forgot by Mikki Kendall
Men Explain Things To Me by Rebecca Solnit
The Female Gaze: Essential Movies Made by Women by Alicia Malone
Girlhood by Melissa Febos
The Story of Art Without Men by Katy Hessel
Is This Normal?: Judgment-Free Straight Talk about Your Body by Dr. Jolene Brighten
Come As You Are: Revised and Updated: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D
The Menopause Manifesto: Own Your Health with Facts and Feminism by Dr. Jennifer Gunter
The Pain Gap: How Sexism and Racism in Healthcare Kill Women by Anushay Hossain
Unwell Women: Misdiagnosis and Myth in a Man-Made World by Elinor Cleghorn
The Turnaway Study: The Cost of Denying Women Access to Abortion by Diana Greene Foster, Ph.D
Regretting Motherhood: A Study by Orna Donath
A List of “Men’s Rights” Issues That Feminism Is Already Working On Feminists do not want you to lose custody of your children. The assumption that women are naturally better caregivers is part of patriarchy. Feminists do not like commercials in which bumbling dads mess up the laundry and competent wives have to bustle in and fix it. The assumption that women are naturally better housekeepers is part of patriarchy. Feminists do not want you to have to make alimony payments. Alimony is set up to combat the fact that women have been historically expected to prioritize domestic duties over professional goals, thus minimizing their earning potential if their “traditional” marriages end. The assumption that wives should make babies instead of money is part of patriarchy. Feminists do not want anyone to get raped in prison. Permissiveness and jokes about prison rape are part of rape culture, which is part of patriarchy. Feminists do not want anyone to be falsely accused of rape. False rape accusations discredit rape victims, which reinforces rape culture, which is part of patriarchy. Feminists do not want you to be lonely and we do not hate “nice guys.” The idea that certain people are inherently more valuable than other people because of superficial physical attributes is part of patriarchy. Feminists do not want you to have to pay for dinner. We want the opportunity to achieve financial success on par with men in any field we choose (and are qualified for), and the fact that we currently don’t is part of patriarchy. The idea that men should coddle and provide for women, and/or purchase their affections in romantic contexts, is condescending and damaging and part of patriarchy. Feminists do not want you to be maimed or killed in industrial accidents, or toil in coal mines while we do cushy secretarial work and various yarn-themed activities. The fact that women have long been shut out of dangerous industrial jobs (by men, by the way) is part of patriarchy. Feminists do not want you to commit suicide. Any pressures and expectations that lower the quality of life of any gender are part of patriarchy. The fact that depression is characterized as an effeminate weakness, making men less likely to seek treatment, is part of patriarchy. Feminists do not want you to be viewed with suspicion when you take your child to the park (men frequently insist that this is a serious issue, so I will take them at their word). The assumption that men are insatiable sexual animals, combined with the idea that it’s unnatural for men to care for children, is part of patriarchy. Feminists do not want you to be drafted and then die in a war while we stay home and iron stuff. The idea that women are too weak to fight or too delicate to function in a military setting is part of patriarchy. Feminists do not want women to escape prosecution on legitimate domestic violence charges, nor do we want men to be ridiculed for being raped or abused. The idea that women are naturally gentle and compliant and that victimhood is inherently feminine is part of patriarchy. Feminists hate patriarchy. We do not hate you. If you really care about those issues as passionately as you say you do, you should be thanking feminists, because feminism is a social movement actively dedicated to dismantling every single one of them. The fact that you blame feminists—your allies—for problems against which they have been struggling for decades suggests that supporting men isn’t nearly as important to you as resenting women. We care about your problems a lot. Could you try caring about ours?
Excerpt from If I Admit That Hating Men is a Thing, Will You Stop Turning it Into a Self-fulfilling Prophecy?, by Lindy West (via lilac-time)
fucking THANK YOU
(via you-idiot-kid)
this is a BIG thing that men don’t get about feminism and patriarchy.
(via middleschooltrackstar)
I’ve reblogged this before but it bears repeating
(via manicscribble)
Deconstructing Romantic Love, and what’s actually wrong with it (pt. 1) - Desire and Admiration =/= Love.
In our infinite quest for happiness, one pervasive question we tend to have is: what is love? (baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no mo’). And in this quest we have tried to find a million different answers and we have tried to deconstruct and understand what works and what makes it dysfunctional.
In the last century or so, we have tried to come up with alternatives to what we have identified as the root of all evil and female oppression: heteropatriarchal romantic love. And I say in the last century because Romanticism is a 19th c. thing - and to understand how it completely changed society and our relational dynamics, I’d suggest Alain de Botton (it’s a long video but 1) it’s worth it and 2) if you don’t have the time to read his book(s), it’s a great alternative).
This has given way to different forms of “Ethical Non-Monogamy”. I’ll eventually write a post abut the history around different Free Love movements - and how the term has definitely meant different things in different moments of time, and how we have now devoid it of any meaning, to the point we’re back in the clutches of patriarchy through rampant consumerism of bodies. But that’s a post for another day.
What I’d like to explore today is that the problem doesn’t rely in what relationship model you choose to follow (monogamy, polyamory, relationship anarchy, open relationships), but in the way we (mis)understand love. I recently wrote a post about the meaning of being emotionally responsible, making an emphasis on why it’s so difficult for cis straight men. And following that thread, I’d like to come to another crossroads we (but, again, specially cis straight men) seem to find ourselves on: confounding admiration and desire with love. Let’s break that down.
I could really, really go on a tangent here, but I’ll try to stay focused. We could trace back our culture’s confabulation of love, admiration and desire to Courtly Love. Courtly Love taught men that love but, most importantly, loving the right way, was something that could make you a better person, morally (and even socially) superior. The right way to love a Lady, who was the purest being incarnated on the face of the earth, was to admire her beauty which was no doubt a display of her own moral worth (yes, these are white beauty standards, where the most celebrated type of woman was blonde, pale as porcelain, and with blue or green eyes) - and yes, physical appearance being equated to moral worth was a thing in Medieval times (you can guess which are the good guys or the bad guys in a Medieval story only through their physical description). But here comes the plot twist about Courtly Love: you didn’t even had to have met the object of your desire to love her. So you have an entire tradition of poems being written by men to, for and about women they hadn’t even met. They had just heard about their reputation, and they completely made up a fantasy as to who the woman was - a woman they not only proclaimed to love, but also a woman whom they loved so much they could die for her.
This was fertile grounds for Petrarch’s poetry, now in the Renaissance, who took Courtly Love one step further: actually attaching the object of his desire to a real, living person (Laura). Fast forward to Romanticism and the idea of loving someone to the point it kills you, and that they’re the one and only object of your desire, and your “soul mate”, and thus complete and complement you in every single way has now become the trend as to how we perceive love.
But that all sounds very exotic and distant. What about the present? Certainly, you can’t compare these guys to the guys on tinder trying to hook up with anyone who’ll say yes. But allow me to say: 1) yes, yes I can and 2) it’s not only these guys - but even those who seem “more decent” and actually take you out on a date, and even date you for a while. Allow me to elaborate.
Again, I am going to go ahead and quote bell hooks’ definition of love (this is something I do, a lot): you have to distinguish love as a feeling vs love as a verb (we’ll circle back to this). When you understand love as a feeling, and as a feeling only, desire and admiration tend to feel a lot like love. And the problem lies therein society’s portrayal’s of love: “love at first sight”, passionate sex as the ultimate display of what love is and should be, blind admiration towards that person and how you have to stick through thick and thin until death do us part (does that ring a bell?).
“Seeing no wrong” with the object of our affection (or what we now call “missing red flags”) is something we do when we blindly admire someone. And, thus, that convinces us that real love, true love, is that in which you find no conflict, and where the other person is perfect and without flaw. The problem with confusing admiration and love is that, to admire someone, we have to put them up on a pedestal, so we can continue to admire them without our image of them crumbling. Think about all the times you lost respect for your idols as you found out who they really were, as a person, above and beyond their work.
The same happens with desire - which is something more visceral and raw. That person is desirable as long as they fit the fantasy we have about them - which relies to physical attributes, yes, but about things they do and don’t do. Even more so, sex is something that gives you the illusion of intimacy, because sex is inherently emotional and vulnerable (and the idea that it isn’t is capitalistic bullshit, but that’s a topic for another post). So while you’re engaging in sex, you can enjoy all those endorphins and mushy feelings, without actually doing the hard work of actually getting to know the person for real. The moment the person displays a behavior or an attribute that clashes with the idea we have in our heads (maybe they’re too awkward, or they have bad breath in the morning), our fantasy, built on desire, starts to crumble.
Let me drive the point home with a personal example. An ex of mine was initially deeply attracted to me because of my intelligence (it was a good thing that he found me physically attractive too). He would be delighted when he saw me debate other people (and destroy them), to the point it immediately triggered physical affection. But as the relationship progressed and we found ourselves sharing and discussing personal views, his attitude started to shift. A quality that he usually admired me for, became something that made him feel contempt. “You’re so smart” turned into “you’re too smart” which eventually turned to “I can never talk to you because everything turns into a debate”. My attitude and approach hadn’t changed. What was happening is what always happens in an emotional relationship where you’re actually getting to know the person: I was falling off the pedestal he put me in.
And, suddenly, I was seen not only as a human being with flaws and shortcomings, and far from perfect - but having to be so close and vulnerable in front of me was also deeply uncomfortable to him. Because when you’re really close to someone, that makes you reflect on yourself. True love and intimacy is an exercise of self reflection, which allows you to become acquainted with the best and worst sides of you. In my ex’s case, having to be confronted by the intelligence he admired so much initially, made him feel stupid and insecure.
Which leads me to another thing: in this confabulation of admiration/desire for love, men also get another short end of the stick. Because patriarchy has convinced them that a woman’s love lies in her admiration for him, the object of their desire (who has to instantly desire them back just because they want this person) has one job and one job only: to admire and support him unconditionally. This means that men are permanently stuck in a position where they have to display strength and bravado, as they fulfill the role of protectors and providers. And what happens then? you never truly get to know who they are inside. So any sort of criticism, disagreement or conflict is perceived as a threat - if you’re not admiring them, you’re personally attacking them, and you don’t really love them.
Again, the problem with all of this is that we still haven’t understood what love actually is. According to bell hook, love is also a verb. It’s the actions you take in order to nurture the relationship, so you both feel seen, known, heard and understood. It’s getting to know the other person deeply and honestly. It’s seeing ourselves reflected in their eyes and getting to know new depths about us that we hadn’t before.
Think about it in another way: if that person wasn’t physically attractive to you anymore, would you still love them? if that person presented flaws that you hate, would you still love them? If they didn’t have the same social status or job? if they didn’t engage in specific activities with you? and what would you be willing to do if those things change? these are all important questions to assess where your feelings for someone stand.
To be clear: you can love someone and admire them and desire them. But just because someone desires you or just because someone admires you, that doesn’t mean they love you. Again, love is in the work you do. And if you do your homework, you will find yourself admiring that person on deeper more significant attributes, like their compassion and patience and integrity, while you even learn to understand and appreciate their flaws in the context of who they really are - that’s what being understood means.
The problem is not monogamy. In fact, I find it more responsible and sustainable to understand just how much work goes into having healthy loving relationships and deciding to have that with one person, than being a hot ass mess and falling in and out of an unending string of relationships because we’re trying to score “woke points” by denying monogamy. Because if you think you’re defying monogamy while at the same time you’re following the same romantic standards to relate, then you’re not really subverting anything.
Next time you feel like you might feel love for someone, ask yourself if what you’re feeling means that you actually have the willingness to do the work required to be in a healthy relationship with them. If you find their presence in your life worth the effort or not. If this is a nourishing relationship, then the answer will probably be yes.
the idea that restrooms, locker rooms, etc need to be single-sex spaces in order for women to be safe is patriarchy's way of signalling to men & boys that society doesn't expect them to behave themselves around women. it is directly antifeminist. it would be antifeminist even if trans people did not exist. a feminist society would demand that women should be safe in all spaces even when there are men there.
#misogyny #misogynymadness #misogynykills #misogynists #mysogynistshitmensay #misogynistsarenocomrades #misogynistsbeware #misogynistsnotwelcome #misogynisticmen #maleprivilege #maleprivilegeisreal #maleprivileges #patriarchy #fuckpatriarchy #patriarchysucksbecause #patriarchysucksbecause #patriarchysucks #smashpatriarchy #fuckthepatriarchy #womensupportingwomen #womenempowerment #women #woman #womanempowerment #womanpower #girl #girls #girlpower #feminist #feminism #feminismisforeverybody https://www.instagram.com/p/CJxbfflJFJU/?igshid=121x7ip6c15ys
⚠️TW brief mention of sexual harassment (no details)
i’ve been thinking (dangerous, i know) about how i hate men and toxic masculinity and the patriarchy and how they don’t do anything to avoid it and how it still impacts them no matter how “in touch” they think they are.
i went to an all girls high school, and i had a friend group and we were all very physically affection; lots of hugs, head scratches, lying on each other, holding hands, linking arms, resting on each other etc etc etc. and that was all i knew for 5 years. but then. i moved into a uni hall. that had boys AND girls. and i got some guy friends, and because my brain went “oh, friends ? let’s be physically affectionate ! show them we care ! platonically !” and both of the men in question are queer, and so i didn’t even think about how it could go wrong. but it did. their brains thought “GIRL ? SCRATCH MY HEAD ? LET ME LAY ON HER ?????? LOVE ? IS THIS ROMANCE ????? YES !!!”
which was not at all my intention. but that’s the story of how i got sexually harassed by one of them for a year, and how i accidentally got into a relationship with the other for 2 months.
and i think men should show each other more physical affection so girls can be spared from my fate :(
Before this ted talk start, I just wanted to ask for any antifeminist, conservative, right wing or anything related to this to just, please, do not interact, like, reblog or do anything about this post. I'd be seriously disappointed in myself if any Christian right winged antifeminist agreed with me, because that's not the point of my life and 100% not the point of this post, so please, if you fall on the characteristics of this warning, ignore this post and go eat your hamburgers with cheese. Thank you.
Also, content warning for references to s/a.
Misandry, even if it's a understandable response to men in patriarchy, should not be apart of feminism.
Even tho I'm not a feminist, and will probably never be, because my experiences with patriarchy are from a trans non-binary point of view, and feminism is about women + another couple reasons, I would really like to point out something.
Misandry can't be apart of feminism because the patriarchy only protect cis heterosexual white men.
Using misandry in your feminism will ignore the experiences of trans and men of colour with patriarchy and how it fails to put them on privilege.
And no, I'm not invalidating your crippling fear and hatred of men that developed from being a woman getting abused by misogyny, because no 1⁰, I'm also deeply scared of men, and no 2⁰, I also have moments where my only reaction to cis & white people is deep breath so I'll not end up throwing hands (cause let's be honest, y'all are seriously dumb /j). But does that interfere on my black and queer discourses? Obviously not!
Because if I do let my honest disappointment with white and cishet people get to my activism, it will interfere negatively on it, because it block different perspectives from the system that affects me and my perception of how does it work. Same with feminism and misogyny.
If your honest disappointment with men get into your feminism, you won't be able to accept masculine perspectives on patriarchy, specially trans masculine and racialized masculine perspectives. And they are important because patriarchy literally fails with them!
Let's take rape culture and black men for an example.
We have fulano, a white man who has a literal fetish on 14 year old girls, and ciclano, a black man who got falsely accused of csa for money. (Based off of real life? Mmmm, maybeyy...~ But I won't drop names😘 but if you know me, you probably know who I'm talkin bout) Which one of these guys will be 100% protected by patriarchy?
Fulano. For fulano's case, patriarchy will use it's tactics and excuses to protect him. But for ciclano, if ciclano isn't on a environment of conservative black people, there will be hesitation on the protection. Because black men are deemed as aggressive and harmful to (mostly/specially to white) women.
Which is basically why the police only takes accusations from women seriously if they're against men of colour. If you, white girl, do an s/a accusation against a white boy, there will be little to no effect. But if you do it against a black boy, the shit going on with be completely different.
Am I saying that feminism should include men? Obviously not, because feminism is about women. But when we're talking about the patriarchal system in general, we should pay attention to different perspectives, because that'll get more knowledge on how does it work and how do we defeat it, because patriarchy is not only “men > women”; It's a system where white cisgender straight men get a privilege over any other type of person, be them a gay man, a cis asian woman, a black genderfluid person, etc.
Anyway, I hope y'all got my point. Kisses from Angel.
Real, because if womanhood was only about suffering, there wouldn't be a literal women's liberation movement.
Recognizing oppression ≠ Hating yourself.
“to be a woman is to experience pain”“to be a woman is to perform”“to be a woman is to-” SHUT UP SHUT UP 💥💥💥💥
Elon Musk publishes his non-consensual Taylor Swift fantasy to the world. Creepy. Fetishistic. Bizarre. Misogynistic. Paternalistic.
"You can't talk about your period. It makes people uncomfortable."
Just to spite you and appease to the patriarchy simultaneously, I say all Cis Men should be legally required to announce to the heavens above that they have an erection everytime they get one. Regardless of circumstances they're in.
EVERY.
SINGLE.
TIME.
Yes!!
stop making "jokes" about male, female, and queer victims who were abused my cishet men, women, and queer people.
Men can be verbally, emotionally, physically, and sexually abused by not only men but women as well. The same goes for women abused by women and queer people. Traits like gender may play a role in the reasoning and forms of abuse and how victims express trauma, but it's not a main factor of who takes the role of victim and or abuser.
The continuous notion of men are the only problems when it comes to abuse is so wrong, because there are other factors to why people act out abusive behavior other than the lazy argument of "men biologically love sex" and or "men bad". And some may reject that but I've seen posts of men, women, and queer people having their reports of abuse dismissed because it wasn't man. Sometimes if a man sexually abuses a man it's either seen as "desirable if the two are queer" or used as "valid" reasoning for hating "queer people". Instances of abuse like this are often twisted into a false narrative to either laugh at or exploit to fearmonger.
Support victims of abuse and trauma no matter who they are and don't invalidate their feelings just because "they have it better than others". As well as finding help for abusers to possibly reform and learn from the mistakes and take strides to better themselves. Don't be dismissive. And for people who have low empathy or just struggle with comforting others and expressing emotion in general just let the person know you'll be there for them and ask how they feel and what they want to discuss and do moving forward. If the person doesn't want to talk about then that's fine just hangout if they want company and suggest types of therapy they can use or anything that would be more appropriate in the moment.
abusiveness and predation is not unique to men. abusive women (and the abuse of men for that matter) are much, much more common than you think. if your support for abuse survivors only extends to women or people who were abused by men, you don't actually support survivors.
so to all the survivors who aren't women, and the survivors whose abusers weren't men: i believe you, and i see you. you deserve to be safe and supported. you are not alone. your pain and suffering matters just as much as others' does. what happened to you is just as awful, and i'm wishing you so much healing and happiness.
Finally, a sane celebrity who doesn’t bend the knee to feminist bullshit.
Source
Gentlemen! Let’s play a little game. I call it “Creep or Normal Guy?” The way you play is you have less than a second to decide whether a man you don’t know is a threat or not. If you identify a normal guy as a threat you could get called a bitch; if you identify a creep as a normal guy you could end up dead. This is fun, isn’t it? Now play it every day, with nearly every man you see, in nearly every situation you’re in, from the time puberty hits to … well, I turned 38 this week. Can someone tell me when I can stop playing?
Wild tells the story of every woman’s least favorite game: ‘creep or normal guy?’ - Kristen Page-Kirby (via misandry-mermaid)
I’m a man. When I was born my grandfather congratulated my dad for having a son, and thanked my mother for giving my father a son. I got my grandfather’s name. When I was a child, I could play with LEGO, because “Lego is a boy thing” and that helped my creativity. My ability to solve problems was stimulated. I got HotWheels car-washes and gas stations. I also got a box of plastic tools, to assemble and disassemble toy cars and trucks. That also stimulated my creativity and developed my logic capability, which is good for every child. In my school day, the girls wore skirts and my friends lifted their skirts. It was a mess, So they were forbidden to wear skirts. I never saw a boy actually get punished for it though, after all “Boys are just like that. Took after his father this menace” - is what I usually heard At home, with my family, I liked to play house with a younger cousin. We were around eight. I was the dad, she was the mom and the dolls were our children. While playing, when i carried the dolls in my arms my mother would get mad: “Let go of that doll boy, that’s a girl thing”. And my little cousin’s father, when he saw us playing, wouldn’t let her do it either. He said boys play with boys and girls play with girls because “boys are very stupid, and worse, very forward”. I did not consider myself stupid, and did not understand what he meant by “forward”, but I still did as I was told At Christmas, my sister got a Barbie and I got a beyblade. She cried a bit because my toy was much cooler than hers, but every year my mother made the same mistake, and got her a doll, a toy stove, a toy fridge, a blender, everything pink, once mom got her an iron When I turned 15 and started dating, my father bought me some condoms During my teenage years, no one criticized me for kissing lots of girls. Nowadays, that still stands. My father does not get mad at me when I don’t come home for the night, He does not say I need to be a “family boy”. He never slapped me in the face for thinking I’d spent the night at a motel. No one lectures me saying I need to be reserved and play hard to get. No one judges me when I want to be with a girl and take initiative No one cares about my clothes; no one says I have to preserve myself. No one says I have to preserve myself because “women only think about sex” No one think my girlfriends were only with me for sex. No one thinks that, when I have sex, that I’m submitting to the wishes of my partner No one demonizes my orgasms. I was never judged for carrying condoms in my backpack or in my wallet I never had to hide my condoms from my parents. I was never told to marry a virgin because I was a man I was never told that “men have to value themselves” or that I had to “give myself the respect”. Apparently, my gender already makes me worthy of respect. When I go out into the streets no one tells me I’m “delicious” No unknown woman shouts “smoking hot” my way I can walk down the streets having an ice cream cone at ease, because I know I won’t hear things like “drop that and come suck me”. I can even walk down the streets eating a banana I never had to cross a street, even though it was out of my way, to avoid a group of women in a bar, who will probably catcall me when I pass, embarrassing me I never had to walk in sweatpants, because my shorts leave my legs exposed, and that could be dangerous I never heard someone say I was “shameless” because I went out without a shirt No one regulates my work out clothes No one cares about my clothes period. I was never followed by a woman in a car when I was walking back home I can catch a crowded subway everyday and surely no woman will rub against me, to record it and throw it on some porn website No one ever had to create a subway wagon that was “just for men” I never heard of someone of my gender being raped by a crowd I can get on a bus by myself in the middle of the night When I’m not carrying anything valuable, I no longer feel threatened, because I don’t fear getting raped at any moment, at every corner. That risk does not exist in the minds of the people of my gender. When I go out at night I can wear whatever clothes I want. If I suffer any kind of violence, no one blames me for being drunk, or for wearing certain clothes If, one day, I was raped, no one would say it was my fault; that I was somewhere inadequate, that I had on a revealing outfit No one would try to justify the rape based on my behavior I would be treated as a VICTIM and that would be it. No one thinks I’m vulgar because when it’s cold, my nipples show through my shirt When I have sex with a woman on the first date I practically get a standing ovation. No one calls me a “tramp”, or “easy” or a “whore” because I have casual sex sometimes 99% of porn websites are made to please me and men in general No one is shocked when I say I watch porn No one judges me if I say I love sex No one cares if I read erotic literature No one is surprised to hear I masturbate No mother-in-law will tell her daughter not to marry me because I’m not a virgin No one criticizes me for investing in my career When I have the same job position as a woman, my salary is never inferior to hers If I am promoted, no one says it’s because I slept with my boss. People believe in my merit If I have to travel for work and leave my kids with their mother for a few days no one calls me irresponsible No one finds it strange that, at thirty years old, I still don’t have kids No one guesses my sexual orientation based on the length of my hair When my hair starts to grey, people will find it sexy, not think I’m letting go of myself Society does not see my virginity as a prize 90% of military services are destined to people of my gender, even the higher jobs, in which the official only deals with paperwork and management If I go out with a certain outfit no one says I’m “asking for it” If I’m at club and a woman performs oral sex on me, I’m not the “whore” or the “tramp”, she is. If a video of me having sex with a woman gets leaked, no one will call me names, criticize me, stone me. I won’t be the “disgusting little bitch” I won’t be “trash” or “used” or “cheap”. I’d just be the man, fulfilling my alpha guy position in society. If I lead a promiscuous lifestyle and then fall in love with just one woman, people think its beautiful. No one judges me based on my past. No one says it’s disgusting if I don’t shave myself No one would judge me for being a single dad. On the contrary, I’d be seen as a hero. I’ll never be stopped from occupying a higher position in the Catholic Church for being a man I was never beaten up for being a man I was never obligated to do housework for being a man I never had the obligation to learn how to cook for being a man No one tells me my place is in the kitchen for being a man No one says I can’t curse for being a man No one says I can’t drink for being a man No one stares at my plate if I put a lot of food in it No one justifies my foul mood by blaming it on hormones No one has ever made jokes that undermined my intelligence for being a man When I sometimes mess up in traffic no one says “It had to be a man” When I’m polite to a woman she doesn’t automatically assume I’m hitting on her The term “tramp stamp” did not come into existence because men were seen as cheap No one treats my body as just a tool for giving pleasure to the opposite sex No one thinks I’ll have to be submissive to a future wife I was never judged for drinking beer at table in which I was the only man I’m never the target audience for house cleaning products ads I’m the target audience for beer ads No one’s ever asked me if my girlfriend lets me cut my hair. I cut it when I want to and people understand that. There isn’t haze at USP (a university) that promotes my humiliation and objectification Society doesn’t split my gender in “to marry” and “to whore” When I say “no” no one thinks I’m just playing hard to get. No is no. I don’t have to dress a certain way to avoid having women falling into temptation People of my gender were not raped each 40 minutes in São Paulo last year People of my gender don’t get raped every 12 seconds in Brazil People of my gender didn’t get raped by a crowd during protests in Egypt I’m not a man. But if you are, it’s fundamental to admit that society AS A WHOLE needs feminism Don’t underestimate suffering that you don’t understand.
(via thegirlthatcriedwolf)
