Spoons - Tumblr Posts
SEV HELP- MY UNCLES YESTERDAY ON THANKSGIVING FOUND OUT MY HUGE THING FOR SNIPER- I'M GOING TO BE BULLIED AND I NEED HELP-
Troll him back. Let him not relax. No matter what he picks up, you will say, “Do you like spoons? Nice, so you LIKE spoons? Dirty spoon-phile." And then give him a lot of spoons, pictures with spoons, things with spoons, draw him hugging a spoon. And then when he picks up the fork, repeat it. Make him regret making fun of you.
I make spoonies
Well, I treat my cash as spoons too. If I have some extra money and someone is in trouble, I help them. Or donate to Ukraine or free soup kitchens or send to my very poor friend. I have it, I spend it, because to give joy to others is my greatest joy too. Yes, with age I have started to think about myself too, so i won't give money or spoons away, if I'm already in trouble and lacking basics. But to hold something to myself, that I don't immediately need, when someone else needs it immidiately? Come on. Why would I do that? THEY NEED IT MORE!
Me: *to my therapist* I had the spoons, so I did heaps of stuff and now I'm so exhausted I feel sick.
My Therapist: This is where you got to treat spoons like cash. Just because you have them, you need to figure out if you have enough to spend, or else you're going to be in debt. Remember, you're autistic, so you regain those spoons slowly and use them quickly. Everything, good and bad, uses that cash for you. You may enjoy the activity but it's going to exhaust you just as much as a bad activity if you're not careful.
Me: Goddamnit....
Some days I have not any spoons at all. Not one spoon. But then I see the Tremendous Pile of Shit I must do and i manipulate myself, I think so hard that spoons appear. Brittle and inconsistent but hey it's a spoon so I take advantage of that even though it's not a real spoon it's a figment-of-my-imagination spoon. Invented by my hyper weirdo brain. Some days it's easier to imagine my spoons. Or maybe I do have spoons and maybe I don't understand the analogy. Maybe I do have spoons and I can't see them. Or maybe I'm telling myself that to convince myself I have spoons.
I don't know, the spoon analogy got me thinking in depth like. Socrates shit
I sure love not having the spoons to read what I want cause I'm swamped in textbook readings. In other news, I'm very close to graduating and having my B.S.!
One thing I don't think the Spoon metaphor has helped able-bodied people understand is that you can overdraw.
Generally, for most conditions, running out of spoons doesn't mean you collapse, doesn't produce an effect they can actually see. What it means is that you run on life support, quite possibly unsafely, until you get to a safe place and can stop. But you'll owe those spoons back, with interest. You'll have hurt yourself to do it.
Sometimes I hang out with a friend and they'll be like, wow, I'm really glad you had a good day. And I have to decide whether to make them feel bad by explaining that in fact they did not catch me on a good day, and tomorrow will probably be bad. I just made choices.
I would desperately download a car. Used car inflation in a non-walkable state is terrible.
So like, does anyone know/could anyone provide sources on if hEDS and JHS are the same syndrome with different names or if they are different?
That moment when you run out of spoons in your room and you're absolutely NOT going to the caf because you don't have your public face on.
My cutlery drawer is empty. I have no more spoons, nor fucks forks.
feeling particularly disabled today
the spoon drawer is empty
the forks are gone too
i have sporks.. kinda bad at being a fork, and kinda bad at being a spoon, but good for impaling ableism
(Macklemore & Ryan Lewis)
Horribly sick today. Unknown if it's only pots or pots plus a mild sickness combined.
It is 6pm and I just now physically was able to shower. I.... I don't have any memory of eating yet today.... I think???? Looking back I can't think of anything.
I am QUITE hungry, though.
Now, 1) do I have spoons to make/scavenge for food ~ And 2) does anything in my kitchen/pantry even sound worth it
Today was a day.
I'm still sick, with something???? Although it feels like..... I got sick... then when the sickness ended, my pots nausea and gastrointestinal issues just continued? I've spent the last couple of days utterly nauseous, dizzy, and cramped up.
I will say I'm glad I just got some dishes done. They'd sat in the sink for 3 days because I simply couldn't tend to them. Our dishwasher broke and we don't know what's wrong with it. (It's a nice one too so extra devastating, I feel like.)
We need it to get fixed soon, each day that passes I get more anxiety about dishes piling up again. Standing, even sitting, at the sink to do them hurts my body so much. My entire back/shoulders & hands cramp up, which is the biggest dissuasion from the task.
That's all I can remember from today, pretty much. Tons of feeling sick. Had a salad for lunch. Then did dishes. Suddenly it's 10pm. Where did the day go?
Our family accidentally got on a day/night schedule again and it's also probably a factor in being out of sorts. Most everyone we know is more on a 7a-7p schedule. (Give or take a couple hours) But we have been on a 12p-12a schedule for ages.
I want to blame me getting sick, but, it started before that happened. It took 2? days to swing to a random 7a-8p schedule and I hate iiiiiiit.
Honestly my ideal schedule is waking up a couple of hours before sunset, and going to bed a couple of hours after sunrise. Like a 5p-5a thing maybe? Idk... I've sat for a moment mid-type and now have lost my entire train of thought. Oh well.
I did dishes this morning again. Fed the dogs. Had a decent morning. Spontaneously passed tf out for 4? hours.... woke up in a late afternoon daze. Didn't understand what time it was. Felt more tired than before I passed out. Used a bunch of spoons to cook lunch and wash another round of dishes. Aaaaaaand I'm horizontal again. 🫠