Memory Issues - Tumblr Posts
; * sits down * * five hours later * ... OHHH THAT'S WHAT I MEANT TO DO !! ... It's luckily not too late to .. To .. Do the thing I need to do. that I 100% remember ..
; really funny but I js saw a post talking ab smth and it mentioned at one point " and since it's August tmr- " and I had to pause because like. My brain died and it's headstone was js: SOMETHING IMPORTANT HAPPENS IN AUGUST WHAT IS IT FUCK FUCK FUCK FUC- oh my birthday, right. OH FUCK MY BIRTHDAY IS IN AUGUST FUCK FUCK FUCK so yh happy early birthday to me yay
| FRACTURED 1 |
Summary: After a traumatic accident, you wake up with memories of a life, everyone around you denies you ever lived.
Pairing: Jungkook x female reader
Warnings: Angst, crime, mystery, kinda strangers to lovers.
A/N: This is clearly inspired by "Our Time" by @taestefully-in-luv Since I couldn't take it out of my head, I wrote this homage.
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FEVER DREAM
You were printing the remaining documents wishing for the machine to hurry up already, so you could drop them at court and finally go home.
"Still here?" asked Captain Min, peeking through the door of your small office.
"Yeah, I want to take this there today so they'll get the documents to check first thing tomorrow morning. I want her out of questioning and out of the city as fast as possible.
"Quite a complicated case though" he replied "I'm not sure they'll let you represent her as usual. Her statement could save tons of lives"
"I know, but I gotta try" reaching for the latest paper you started to organize them in a binder, already full of evidence "We are talking about girls and women Yoongi. I need them to give me the green light so I can work on getting the full statement to represent her in court. She doesn't need to go through this twice, that's why I work here, it's my job.
"I know, I'm just saying is unlikely"
In a somber mood, you checked your watch and realized you have wasted precious time talking.
"Gotta go If I want to make it on time. See you tomorrow captain" you said mischievously while squeezing through the door in a rush.
"See ya, victims advocate" replicated Yoongi laughing heartily.
Still laughing you left the precinct making sure to say goodbye to the new security guy and strutted across the streets trying to reach court in time.
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"Star... Star can you hear me?"
Blinking, you tried to remember where were you, but you couldn't. The last thing you recalled was walking to the local courthouse, but all was fuzzy before and after.
"Star, are you okay?"
Shaking your head you focused on the voice that was talking and groaned. Your head was pulsating and your throat was sore.
"Her pulse is fine," said another voice "And she is waking up now, I'll come back later to see how she continues but she should be okay now".
"Good, thanks doc. I'll take it from here".
Finally being able to focus you realized you were laying on a bed in what you supposed was a hospital room. But the place looked small and shabby.
"Where am I?"
"You scared us for a second Star," the man sitting in a chair right against her bed said, "When we took you out of the water we thought we had lost you".
Water? So you did have an accident... but you were nowhere near the water, your town isn't close to it.
"Do you remember, right?" the man looked around searching for someone, but they were alone in the room now.
"I-I... the last I remember is getting out of work and-"
"Yes, thank god, we were going out of work" The man looked relieved you were both on the same page "Since the accident, you have been having memory problems and I didn't know if you were going to wake up this time knowing us or not".
"Memory problems? I-I that can't be. I remember my life fairly well, how could I have lost it..."
"Star, you've been here for a few weeks, and every time you wake up you look more and more confused. The doctor said it was expected since, well lack of oxygen could lead to memory trouble".
"But I don't have amnesia!" you screamed stressed, your head was palpitating and you couldn't breathe well "I know who I am, and my fucking name is not Star!"
Apologetically, the man sighed and got up from the chair.
"This been going on for a while, I-I need to take a break," he said looking defeated.
Trying to calm your beating heart, you looked around and strained your ear to hear noises from outside, but it was silent.
You felt tempted to get up and look out the window but before you could do that, the door opened again and a different man entered the room.
"Star!" he exclaimed. His mop of hair bounced, as he hurriedly made his way to you, once he saw you were conscious "You’re awake!"
"Don't get your hopes up" said the first man appearing again and leaning in the door's lintel "She doesn't remember us".
"W-What?" the doe eyes of the second man looked impossibly big "Baby, you don't remember me?" He said with a pout while grabbing your hand.
"I-I what? Baby?" Retiring your hand from his grasp you put it over your heart. It was beating like crazy "I'm sorry, I don't know you".
"Oh. I see" replied the man, looking disappointed.
"Look I just wanna go home. Can I do that? Can I leave?"
"Sure. I'll take you home".
"Not yet," said the first man, now entering the room and sitting next to the bed again "What's the last thing you remember?"
"I already told you," you said, exasperated "I finished printing the paperwork at my work, I said goodbye to my boss, and was on my way to drop some documents at court. I don't remember anything else after that. Besides walking on the street, I mean."
"What should we do hyung?" asked the guy with the wavy hair. He looked defeated.
Sighing, the older man straightened his back and made eye contact with you.
"Ok. We'll have to believe something happened with your brain - as the doctor said - because what you just told us makes no sense".
"What do you mean?" You whispered, afraid of the answer he might give you.
"First of all, my name is Kim Namjoon and I'm the spokesperson of the village we are in".
"More like a leader, hyung"
"Whatever you want to call it, I'm the voice and face inside and outside of here".
"Ok".
"We know you by the name of Star and you've lived in this place for as long as I can remember..."
"That, that can't be... how?" Confused you looked around the room again. You were sure of who you were, but this made no sense "My name isn't Star is y/n, and I work at the 4th precinct downtown".
"Downtown? Where?" Kim Namjoon asked, looking exasperated "We live on an island. The only way out of here is by boat or by car. By boat is closer, hence why we always use it. Driving takes at least 12 hours to get us out the forest and out of the island".
Astonished, you remained silent.
"You've lived here since your parents died and my father heard of their passing. I'm not sure how they knew each other, but he brought you here and raised you as his own. I remember being childish while he tried to explain it to me, saying the only other option was an orphanage..."
"My parents aren't dead! They live across the country!" You yelled furiously. You knew this story wasn't real, it couldn't be. You remembered everything. "I don't know who you think you are, but I'm going home. I can't listen to any more nonsense".
Sighing, both men looked at each other.
"Fine. First thing tomorrow morning, I'll take you wherever you want to go. But hear me out Star" you could only roll your eyes at the constant use of a name it wasn't yours "I am not leaving you there. It could be dangerous, you'll realize you are confused and have nowhere to go. And when you see that and you'll see it, you'll have to come back with me. I won't put you in unnecessary danger".
"Don't worry Kim Namjoon, everything will be fine" she said defiantly "I'll be sleeping in my bed tomorrow night".
"Sure thing. Wanna sleep here tonight or in your house?"
"I have a house?"
"Yes Star, you have a house" he deadpanned.
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Hope you like it! Let me know what you think :)
| FRACTURED 2 |
Summary: After a traumatic accident, you wake up with memories of a life, everyone around you denies you ever lived.
Pairing: Jungkook x female reader
Warnings: Angst, kinda strangers to lovers, eventual crime, mystery.
A/N: Thank you for reading :)
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TRIP TO NOWHERE
"Um. I haven't had the chance to introduce myself properly" said the doe eyed man walking alongside her to Namjoon’s car "I'm Jungkook".
You nodded. You were still a little freaked out that he had called you baby.
"I think there is something you need to know before we arrive hom- I mean- at your house".
"What is it?"
"Uhh" he looked so uncomfortable you kinda wanted to take him out of his misery, but you barely knew him "What you should know is that- uh - wekindalivetogetherinthehouse".
"Jungkook" chastisized Namjoon opening the car doors.
"Sorry hyung, but she should know".
"We live together?" You asked, confused. Why would they live toget- Oh. That's why he had called you baby... But that made no sense! You weren't dating, you didn't have a partner.
"I won't stay with you because I can tell it bothers you. I just, I wanted to let you know in case you find something mine in there".
You nod curtly and remained silent. You didn't know the guy, as handsome as he looked, you weren't going to risk sleeping under the same roof with a stranger. Less, knowing something didn't add up in this situation.
Once in the house you finally had time to yourself. As soon as the men left, you started questioning everything they have been telling you.
"Star?" You huffed "What a ridiculous name, how can this be my name".
Jungkook had walked you to the door, opened it for you and handed you the keys. Eyeing him suspiciously you had took them and closed the door without further conversation.
Looking around you started getting creeped out, this house was exactly like the one from your memories. The kitchen was in the same layout, bathroom had the same curtains and the main bedroom had all your bedding and even the skincare. Sitting at the end of the bed, you felt overwhelmed. You could feel the anxiousness rising slowly through your body.
"Why does this look the same? I- It- It can't be".
Feeling nauseous you ran to the toilet and threw up. Your insides were burning and for a split of a second you questioned if you had really drowned. With all the adrenaline, you hadn't notice, but right now you were realizing everything ached.
With difficulty, you blocked both doors in the house and laid in bed crying. The next day would bring answers, you were sure of it. This wasn't right.
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The next day didn't come fast enough, and you barely slept, so when you heard a loud knock at the door, you didn't react quickly.
Dragging your foot you take out the obstacles and opened the door to see a chirp Namjoon and a worried Jungkook.
"Good morning" said Namjoon "Are you ready?"
"Ah no, sorry, let me clean up real quick" you answered, warm cheeks showing you embarrassment.
"Sure, we'll wait here" Namjoon sat, getting comfortable in your couch.
When you were ready, you grabbed a purse you found there and walked to where the men were waiting for you.
"Ready? Let's go" Namjoon said.
Jungkook hesitated, but then gave you a mug - your mug to be exact.
"I made you coffee, I hope you don't mind".
"Thank you" you said curtly while accepting the cup.
Once in the car Namjoon said:
"We could go walking, but since we are trying to make it to the city quickly we'll just drive to the dock and then we'll take a boat to the city.
"Sure"
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Jungkook watching you with frown eyebrows. But you paid no attention, you just wanted to get to the city quickly.
Looking curiously through the window, you realized it was really a village. Lots of wood houses surrounding a small square with a well in the middle. People were walking and talking. There were some vegetable and fruit stalls but overall, there wasn't much going on besides that.
The car got away from the village quickly and followed a path in the mud.
"We are here" Namjoon said, getting out of the car.
You looked around but saw no boat.
"Where-?"
"Over here" called Jungkook, leading her to a small wood dock that was barely visible due to vegetation.
"Ok" you said and started walking confidently in his direction, but as soon as you put a foot on the dock you felt yourself shiver. You tried to keep walking, but your body didn't seem to obey.
"Star?" You heard Namjoon’s voice far away.
Shaking incontrollably, you tried to speak but your throat was sore and you vision was getting plagued by black dots.
Suddenly, Jungkook's face was in front of you. He looked worried.
"Do you need any help?"
You tried to answered him no, but couldn't move at all.
"I'm gonna carry you ok? Star?" He said, sounding comforting.
You didn't want that, but couldn't say no either.
With delicacy, he leaned to grab your legs and support your back so he could carry you bride style to the boat. Still trembling, you tried to move your arms but your body was frozen otherwise. The involuntarily movement pushed your head against his shoulder and the smell of his perfume or his body - you didn't know - surrounded you. It did seemed familiar and it relaxed you.
You were able to close your eyes and fairly quickly, you were inside of the cabin of the boat. The space wasn't as small as you supposed it was going to be, and if you sat strategically you couldn't even see through the few windows.
"Sorry" Jungkook said, helping you to the ground "I know it's hard, is just, this is quicker than by car".
"How long is by car?"
Jungkook was knealing in front of you after he helped you sit on the floor. He was looking at you with a soft gaze, but before you could start drowning in it, Namjoon’s voice filled the space.
"12 hours by car, since we would have to surround the entire island to reach the bridge that connects to mainland".
"I see"
"By boat is more direct though, so it'll only take an hour to reach land. It is a bit secluded, but we also have a car in that dock waiting for us".
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Everything was going wrong.
You insisted on going to your apartment first, but the door has been opened by an unknown woman, telling you she has been living there since she got married long ago. Kindly, Namjoon explained the overall situation and the lovely lady let you wander around the place.
You didn't find anything yours, but the woman had a similar decoration and the disposition of the place was alike. You tried to wreck your brain and find something only you could know, but nothing came to mind and soon enough you all had to leave.
In absolute silence, you walked out of the building. Wringling your hands and afraid you were truly confused, you looked at the sky. How could you create all this vivid memories in your head? It couldn't be. It just couldn't.
"Where to now?" Asked Namjoon, with little emotion in his voice.
"To the preccint" you answered, already making the path you used to take to go to work.
"Star? Where are you going?" Asked Jungkook, confused.
"To the police station?" You said unsure.
"Let's take the car" was the only thing Namjoon said, with no space left to argue.
"Oh, sure".
Once in the vehicle, Namjoon took different routes, never one you knew by heart. So, despite knowing where you were, you had no clue as how to move around if you were to go walking from here.
Sooner rather than later, the three of you were outside the preccint. Obviously, you didn't have your work ID with you, so your only hope was to go and try for the guard to ring you in.
Confidently, you went to walk in hoping the guard will recognize you, but he stopped you almost immediately.
"You aren't allowed to go in miss" he said, blocking the access "This is a private entrance-".
"For workers of the station, yes I know. I work here" you said "I don't have my ID as of now, but if you let me in I'll talk with Captain Min personally".
"Sorry miss, but I can't let you go in, you can try the public access though, just go around the corner."
"My office is this way, I usually don't go through that door".
Eyeing her suspiciously, he moved to block the door.
"You with them?" He asked, pointing at Jungkook and Namjoon.
"Yeah, but if that's a problem they don't need to go in with me" you stated without even looking at them.
"Let me ask about it, please face this way" he said indicating a camera placed high on the wall.
Impatiently, you dared to look at Namjoon who shoot you an unimpressed look, but on the other hand, Jungkook seemed nervous.
Nervous about what, you wondered. It was because their ruse was going to end or was something else at stake here?
"Name?" Asked the police guard, interrupting your thoughts. You answered and awaited nervously, moving from foot to foot.
"I'm sorry miss, they say you don't have clearance to go in".
"W-What? How-?" You stuttered, starting to feel afraid "W-who is at the desk?"
"I'm afraid I can't give you that information. Sorry for your trouble. You still can try through the main entrance".
"How can it be! A month ago I was working here! I need to talk with Captain Min Yoongi, he'll know me" you pleaded with the guard, feeling your stress starting to rise and rise.
"Let's just try the other door Star" you heard Namjoon’s voice next to you.
"I- yes, okay" starting to walk away, you suddenly thought of another idea. Turning around you said "Just a second, hey could you asked for Captain Min to check the camera?"
The officer seemed worried and you saw him looked around.
"Miss I can't bother the Captain with these affairs".
"Please, just please" you begged him, there was not point in going to the public entrance if you couldn't talk with Yoongi.
"Ok, I'll ask" he nodded moving aside. You saw him speaking through the radio, but couldn't hear all he was saying.
"Miss? They informed me Captain Min isn't available to fulfill your request".
"Oh, thank you. I'll be out of your hair now" you replied, disappointed "Thanks again"
Nodding, the man shared a look with the three of you, but you didn't acknowledge it. You just wanted to go away as fast as possible.
Coughing, he looked at you and spoke again.
"They informed me that, eh- that he isn't available because no one under that name works here".
Stopping in your tracks, you just inhaled. Shaking your head you refused to acknowledge that information and kept walking. You didn't know what were the thoughts going through Namjoon or Jungkook's head and you didn't want to know.
Disheartened and trying to think what to do, you cursed yourself for not knowing the number of Yoongi. He had to be worried, you knew that. You had been working together so many years that you became friends and barely a day went by that you didn't see each other or talked with one another.
But the only number you knew by heart was the landline your parents still had in their house.
Wait! That could work!
"Namjoon do you have my phone?" You asked, stopping yourself in the middle of the street.
"Yeah, in the car though" he answered.
"Let's go then"
"What about the station?" Asked Jungkook, still looking conflicted.
"If Yoongi isn't there - doesn't work there - is of no help".
"To the car then" Namjoon said, changing the direction of his steps.
Sitting in the car he gave you your phone but it was turned off.
"Sorry, you fell to the water with it. I don't think is working".
Sighing at your bad luck, you tried to turn it on, but nothing happened.
"Okay, can you lend me yours?"
Before you had to repeat yourself, Jungkook took out his own phone and placed it in your hand.
"Thank you" dialing your parent's number, you waited for the line to pick up.
"The number you have dialed doesn't exist. The number you have dialed doesn't exist."
Gulping and feeling tears pooling in your eyes, you kept trying until Jungkook took the phone away from your trembling hands. Listening to the message, he shook his head at Namjoon, who just sighed and started the car.
"Let's go home Star" said Namjoon, patting your shoulder. You only had energy to nod.
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You had been laying in bed for a month now. After the disaster that your excursion to the city had resulted to be, you had refused to leave the house until something made sense. But everything was still confusing.
You could understand that the police officer couldn't recognize you, but the one working at the cameras? The guy that usually had that job was one you knew well, you even had dinner with him and his wife!
The same thing happened with your parents, they have had that phone number since forever and despite you telling them numerous times that they should get rid of it, they had never wanted to. It was rare for them to do it right when you needed it the most. The only logical explanation was that all that Namjoon and Jungkook were telling you was the truth, but you had no recollection of any of it.
You only had the memories everyone seemed to think were fake. But how could your brain construct such a complete life without you having lived it?
Another thing that confused you was your newly acquired fear of water.
According to your memories you never were afraid of it, but you reaction to the river had been puzzling to you. Even now, thinking of it made you shudder.
That was the only thing that ring true about everything Namjoon and Jungkook had said.
And even if you kept the silent treatment, Jungkook didn't fail to leave you warm food everyday or just drop by to deliver whatever you might need, despite the lack of response from you.
You didn't know where he was staying, and you didn't want to know. But at the same time you still felt a little guilty, if this was indeed his house, you were keeping him out of it.
"Hey, I'm just dropping by to leave you dinner" you heard his voice while he closed the front door.
Tired of not knowing and curious about what he could tell you about yourself, you left your bed. For the first time in weeks, you went out of the room and joined him in the kitchen.
"Hi"
Surprised, he turned around and smiled at you.
"Hi" he was busy fixing your food and saving some groceries in the pantry "Want to eat something?"
"Sure".
If Jungkook was surprised again, he didn't show it. He just got to it while you watched him in silence, until you couldn't handle it anymore.
"Jungkook?"
"Hmm?"
"Can you tell me about Star- I mean, me?"
"I don't know if I should" he said, looking conflicted "Namjoon said that he was going to talk to you when you feel better. We could call him later".
"Do you really have to ask for his permission?" You said, knowing it might hurt him but not caring at all. You wanted answers now.
You could handle it.
Serving your food, he sat in front of you in the tiny kitchen.
"I know the same he told you. Is what- is what you said when we met aswell. Your parents died in some sort of accident, Namjoon’s dad brought you here, sort of adopted you and I met you when he did the same for me. He, well, I'm thankful because he saved me from orphanage life and you never said it, but I think you are too".
Stunned and and unable to speak, you tried to process the information, but it was so strange to you it just felt out of reach.
"We met as childs or-?"
"Well, sort of. We indeed met as kids, but we never really lived together. For a while, you lived with Namjoonie hyung but then we were all sent to study in the city and we mainly stayed there. I lived with hyung all those years while you went to a different school. We didn't really eh - connect - until we all cameback from university.
"Okay" she said softly, trying to piece all the information together. Didn't ring any bell, but at this rate it seemed nothing ever will "If I spent so much time away from here, why did I got back?"
Smiling at her, his big eyes searched her face warmly.
"We never explicitly said it, but I guess we both felt we owned this place all we had. Here we both work for the village and honestly? We have all we could want.
"Am I happy here?" Coming back to live at a secluded island did sound right up your alley though. Like something you would actually do. Especially if you knew you could help someone in the process.
"I think so" he said "I hope so".
Exchanging an unknown, but comfortable look, you thought to yourself that as long as you were confused about your life, the smartest decision was to continue with this life as Star.
"I was thinking, where are you staying? This was your house too right?"
"Oh don't worry about it, Namjoon hyung has enough space to share and since I work with him everyday, is easier this way".
"Oh, okay" you replied, doubtful "Well if- if at any time you want to comeback, you can do it. I don't mind- since is your house aswell, that is."
Reaching out for your plate, Jungkook stood up and started to rinse it.
"I'll think about it" he mentioned "It's kind of hard to be next to you, but not with you".
"Ah".
"Go get ready, I'll accompany you to see Namjoon hyung, so you can talk to him too".
"Okay".
Walking slowly and without looking back, you heard him hum a familiar tune while he kept tyding your place.
||||
"Well, hello Star, what brings you both here?"
"Hmm, Jungkook and I were talking about- about me. And he said you also wanted to talk".
"Sure" Namjoon was sitting in a desk in his office "You can leave us Jungkook" he dismissed it, and gave you a smile.
Jungkook patted your shoulder and left you both alone.
The room had a big window at Namjoon’s back, and you could see the movement of the town through it.
People came and went, some carrying boxes, other dragging carts, but overall everyone was busy.
"Honestly, I just wanted to talk with you so I can know if I can expect you at work soon".
"Work? I don't- don't really know what I did- do, its a bit confusing".
"Of course, I understand that. It's just that I've been covering for you and on top of that I've been doing my job, so you'll understand I'm beat".
For someone, who had supposedly lived with you as family for a few years, Namjoon looked really stoic and goal oriented. You wondered if your relationship was always like that.
"It's not that hard anyway, you could jump right in" Namjoon said, looking for something in his desk "Here, this was you notebook, since internet is not that good here, we saved everything in paper first".
Looking through it, you realized it was full of numbers and products.
"Did I do inventary?"
"And other tasks" he confirmed "You checked the numbers aswell. Before everything goes through Jungkook or me, you were the person in charge of the accounting.
"Accounting?"
"Yes, maybe that's why you are confused that you worked as a police station secretary's..."
"I was a victim advocate! I worked representing the survivors!" You yell, getting ofuscated "And don't get me wrong, there is no shame in working as a secretary, but I am so tired of hear that line".
"Sorry" he replied, not looking regretful at all "Going back to business, do you feel like working again? It would save the rest of us the extra work.
"Sure, but I'm not confident I'll know how to do it correctly".
"Don't worry" said Namjoon, smiling mischievously for the first time. His dimples made him look as if he was up to no good "That's what Jungkook is for".
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(La lleva a la casa y es muy parecida a la de sus recuerdos y tiene todas sus cosas, lo que la confunde
La llevan a la ciudad y luego de 1 día de viaje llegan a su departamento y otra familia (pagada) vive ahí y el lugar luce nada que ver, confundida va a la policía y se ingresa con credencial, el guardia (pagado por la mafia) no la deja pasar insistiendo que no la conoce y que no trabaja allí.
Trata de llamar a sus padres y nadie le contesta, suena como número no existente (los locos se lo bloquean)
Confundida decide devolverse a la villa, wlnjefe compra cosas y las llevan de vuelta y otro día de viaje y ella se aclimata a su casa
Le dicen que su trabajo consistía en llevar el inventario de la cosecha y la venta de los vegetales y que quizás por eso ella estba confundida que trabajaba de secretaria de la policía "no de secretaria! De victim advocate! I was their representant!"
She starts to live there everyone greeting they have light and water and wifi but supposedly bad signal
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| masterlist |
I don't know why, but I love the idea of Glatt being even more forgetful than Ghostbur. He has to be constantly reminded where he is, why he is there, that he can't go out and that the sun burns him.
If I will write something about Glatt some day, then I will definitely add a scene, where Fundy would write him multiple notes as reminder. Like "You are in Las Nevadas. Not Manburg." "Sun is bad for you" and so on. I also would like to write a scene, where Glatt wonders if he was the one, who gave Quackity the scar....since....everyone has to remind him that their relationship didn't end well. And...I don't know...it just has so much potential....and I just want Glatt to have someone, who would care about him.
Hey if you have memory issues - whether it's due to trauma, brain damage, being neuroatypical, or just generally having a brain that doesn't work like it should, I just want to let you know that it isn't inherently weird or creepy to write things down, or keep notes about people you care about.
To someone who just remembers things because they are important, needing to write things down is for things that aren't that important. The kind of people who tell you "you would remember it if it was important to you" actually do function that way. To them, the idea that you would have to write down what your partner likes or doesn't like, or keeping a list of your friends' triggers, seems unsettling and creepy because they don't need to do that, they'll just remember such things. From their perspective, such notes would only be useful for people who aren't important enough to memorise, and making people believe that they are important enough to be remembered when they aren't would be manipulative and predatory.
But a lot of people just don't function like that. If your memory is shot, it doesn't magically make exceptions on the Super Important Things just because you want it to. Remembering shit about someone just because I love them is just as far out of my reach as magically being able to sense their exact location purely through the power of love.
It's still best not to tell people that you have notes of them, that'll freak them out, but don't feel bad about needing to write shit down. It's better to keep a list of wich ones of your friends have asthma or are allergic to bell peppers on your phones' notepad than accidentally endanger someone because ~you're just supposed to remember~ that kind of things.
That awkward moment when you find out that you apparently watched the second Percy Jackson movie with your friends. And have literally NO memory of it.
I'm getting increasingly frustrated with my unawareness of time. There have been times where I swear I just... blinked... and a couple of days have passed.
Did I eat? 🤷♀️ Did I do anything important? 🤷♀️ Did I take my medication? Probably not. But happening constantly. Days. Weeks. Months. Pass by and I just... have no idea what I've done. I've obviously existed? But what else? No idea. ✌🏻🫠
Horribly sick today. Unknown if it's only pots or pots plus a mild sickness combined.
It is 6pm and I just now physically was able to shower. I.... I don't have any memory of eating yet today.... I think???? Looking back I can't think of anything.
I am QUITE hungry, though.
Now, 1) do I have spoons to make/scavenge for food ~ And 2) does anything in my kitchen/pantry even sound worth it
I often forget what I want to google in the .5 seconds it takes to pick up my phone from my lap.
the autistic urge to google something when you're just about to fall asleep + the ADHD frustration of not being able to remember what it was the next day
Doesn't eat or drink water for an extended period of time:
Why do I feel like DEATH
Credit: Sarah Andersen - Sarah Scribbles
Spliced Meme