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Pietro: “Get married and have kids,” they said. “It’ll be fun,” they said.

Nate: PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!

John: IT’S TOO BIG TO SMOTHER!! GET THE ANTI-FLAMETHROWER!

Luna: It’s called a fire extinguisher. FIRE. EXTINGUISHER.

Scott: JOHN LITERALLY HAS A FIRE MUTATION! JUST CONTROL IT!

Pietro: Don’t. Don’t if you value your sanity.


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Pietro: Scott was late to family dinner for the third time in a row so I changed my phone’s background into a picture of one of my exes.

Jean: You guys have been married for a decade, do you really think Scott is that insecure?

Scott: *yelling from the other room* PIETRO! WHY THE FUCK IS CRYSTAL YOUR LOCK SCREEN?!


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Scott: Did I get anything out of this experience? No. It was completely and totally uneventful.

Jubilee: He kissed a guy!!!

Scott: No, I didn’t!

Ororo: Yes, you did!

Scott: Didn’t!

Jubilee: Diiiiiiiiiiid!!!

Scott: Did! Not!

Ororo: Did!

Jubilee: Did, did, did, did, did! Di di di did di di di did!!!

Jean: Babe, I can break this tie.

Jean: *holds up a photo of Pietro kissing Scott*

Ororo: He totally did!


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Pietro: Reporters always ask us how we manage three kids with such different mutations so easily.

Scott: The secret is, we don’t. We have no control of them whatsoever.

Pietro: Earlier, Nate called my name and when I went to see what was going on, John shot me in the throat with a nerf gun before Luna tackled me to the floor.


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Scott: You’ve never once done jury duty or paid your taxes!

Pietro: Not until gay marriage is legalized everywhere.

Scott: . . . what?

Pietro: I stand by that.

Scott: What the fuck?


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3 years ago

Sunny: Clay can be a bit... immature sometimes

Glory: remember when he found out you can drink two caprisuns at the same time?

Clay, holding 3 caprisuns: guys, you're not gonna believe this


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2 months ago

........I'm sorry, what?

........I'm Sorry, What?

I finally had something to look forward to, and this is what happened?


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2 years ago

piper: will, dom or sub?

will: i guess subway since i don't go to domino's that much

leo:...

leo: i'm gonna tell him

nico: don't. you. dare.


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Meta Knight: I sat here and posed for like ten minutes, let me see the product.

Kirby: *passes his paper with a drawing of meta knight to him*

Meta Knight, trying not to laugh: Is that me? No, no it's nice. It's so nice. I never looked better. Ooh, where were you when it was time for senior photos. Okay.

Kirby: Then why was Dedede laughing?

Meta Knight: Dedede doesn't know what he's doing anyway. That's how you say 'that's a great drawing' in french.


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