Quickcyke - Tumblr Posts
Cable: Let's play Two Truths and a Lie. I'll start: my hair is brown, I’m from the future, and Scott's my biological dad. Scott: I think you should make it a little more challenging. Peter: Baby, his hair is silver… Scott: WAIT YOU'RE MY WHAT???
Scott: WHO’S YOUR MOM?!?
Cable: I’m gonna be honest, for the first twenty years of my life I thought it was Peter.
Peter: . . . what?
Cable: Look, I’m not that smart. I also have two older siblings that I met after being abducted. Logically, the conclusion was that Peter’s my mom. Well, we all called you Ocko.
Scott: Yeah, you’re definitely my son.
Peter: We have three kids in the future?!
Cable: That I know of.
Ororo: Wow, I didn’t know that you’re bi.
Scott: What? Just because I wear flannel I’m bi?
Ororo: That’s not what–
Scott: Just because I like making weird voices and my own sound effects when telling a story?
Alex: No one thinks–
Scott: Just because I cry while watching Queer Eye?
Ororo: We get it, you’re not–
Scott: Just because I slept with Pietro a couple of times that makes me bi!
Alex: Fine, you’ve made your–
Alex: Wait, what?!
Scott: Just because I use hair products and can’t sit in a chair properly?
Ororo: No, go back to that last part.
Jubilee: While you were in that other universe a lot happened. Jean was the Dark Phoenix, Wanda found out that her twins were reincarnated, and I think Charles is dating Erik, again.
Scott: Wow . . . uh, Pietro is an Avenger now and we moved in together.
Pietro: No, we didn’t.
Scott: But we’re gonna.
Scott: I am a simple person.
Scott: I enter the kitchen. I eat four servings of soup. I leave.
John: Technically if you eat them all at once it’s one serving!
Scott: . . .
Scott: I like the way you think, Kid.
Pietro: NO!
Peter: All odd numbers have an ‘e’ in them!
Scott: Peter, It’s three am.
Peter: . . .
Peter: t-h-r-E-E
Scott: GO TO SLEEP!!!
Jean: So, what gives? We haven’t seen either of you at work since you adopted John.
Scott: Being a DILF is a full time job, Jean.
Pietro: God, please just say parenting!
Pietro: “Get married and have kids,” they said. “It’ll be fun,” they said.
Nate: PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!
John: IT’S TOO BIG TO SMOTHER!! GET THE ANTI-FLAMETHROWER!
Luna: It’s called a fire extinguisher. FIRE. EXTINGUISHER.
Scott: JOHN LITERALLY HAS A FIRE MUTATION! JUST CONTROL IT!
Pietro: Don’t. Don’t if you value your sanity.
Scott: Are you single?
Pietro: I’m an Avenger, in your eyes a criminal, and you have arrested me multiple times for stealing and collaborating with my father.
Scott: But do you like guys?
Pietro: You can’t just lie here in the dark while listening to eighties music!
Scott: I could have, if you hadn’t turned on my lights and shut off my speakers.
Jubilee: Do you notice something different about Peter?
Scott: Well, Peter’s his own thing. We’ve had sex in like three different houses and I’m not totally sure any of them were his.
Pietro: Scott was late to family dinner for the third time in a row so I changed my phone’s background into a picture of one of my exes.
Jean: You guys have been married for a decade, do you really think Scott is that insecure?
Scott: *yelling from the other room* PIETRO! WHY THE FUCK IS CRYSTAL YOUR LOCK SCREEN?!
John: Luna’s at Olympic and Twentieth? That’s the old salvage yard where kids go to get high.
Scott: What?! We’re going there right now!
Pietro: Wait. Are you sure, John?
John: Ocko, I’m going to answer and then I’m gonna walk away. Deal?
Pietro: Deal.
John: I’m 420% sure.
Pietro: . . .
Scott: Wow, he’s bad at math!
Pietro: I don’t think I can mansplain, manipulate, manwhore our way out of this situation.
Scott: Manslaughter it is.
Scott: You have got to stop breaking into my house.
Pietro: I wouldn’t have to if you just gave me the key!
Pietro: Reporters always ask us how we manage three kids with such different mutations so easily.
Scott: The secret is, we don’t. We have no control of them whatsoever.
Pietro: Earlier, Nate called my name and when I went to see what was going on, John shot me in the throat with a nerf gun before Luna tackled me to the floor.
Scott: You’ve never once done jury duty or paid your taxes!
Pietro: Not until gay marriage is legalized everywhere.
Scott: . . . what?
Pietro: I stand by that.
Scott: What the fuck?
Scott: Okay, now that you have a girlfriend I feel comfortable talking about my own love life!
Jean: Go on?
Scott: Quicksilver’s hot!
Jean: . . .
Jean: Get out.
Peter: You tryna get a kiss, dude?
Scott: . . .
Peter: A little kissy kiss, dude?
Scott: . . .
Peter: Dude? A smooch on the lips, dude? A smooch, dude?
Scott: Yes! Oh my god! Why do you always have to make this so difficult?!?!
Jean: Scott, you have to plan, think, and be patient.
Scott: Pietro is in danger.
Jean: Don’t kill yourself.
Scott: Pietro! Danger! I have to go! Now!
Jean: SCOTT, THINK.
Scott: PIETRO MY BELOVED I WILL GIVE MY LIFE TO SAVE YOU!!!
Jean: SCOTT!
Wanda: What the fuck?!
Pietro: What was that?!?
Wanda: That was . . .
Lorna: That was fucking bullshit, that’s what it was!!!
Scott: Are you guys okay?
Pietro: Why did that bitch need all that room?!
Scott: Are . . . are you watching Titanic?