Queer Poetry - Tumblr Posts

I pour my heart into the page

I write to free my soul and give it a stage

I want to express what's on my chest

I want to free myself

Be myself

My mother

Never understand

My father

Maybe he can

I want to free myself

Be myself

Let myself speak freely

Let myself fall and rise

Like my breath on this page

I write so I can say

What I feel

What I desire

I pour my heart into the page

I write to free my soul and give it a stage

I want to express what's on my chest

I want to free myself

Be myself

I have no where but here to be myself

I have no where but here to pour out

My heart

My soul

I cannot bring it to my mother's door

I cannot trust her not anymore

My father speaks of love

My mother speaks of limits

My father says go on

My mother says be done

I pour my heart into the page

I write to free my soul and give it a stage

I want to express what's on my chest...

I cry knowing I'll never be the same.

Detention.

My friends are in the corridor while I am trapped inside a room with the elders who think they possess the power to groom each and every thought that stimulates my cloudy brain They all look down upon me as though I am the one to blame You would not know that I have been trying my very best for this environment we are trapped within is one I completely detest How could we possibly succeed playing their holy games when every single one of their sins burns like the hottest flame?

Lately, I have not been able to ever get my own way in the midst of the terror that has turned my world grey I expressed all the contents that have lead me into hysterics hoping my honesty would help but instead, they chose to barrack

There is something deeply wrong with you, they said We must convert you so you do not wind up dead They punished me for simply breathing, forcing dreadful pills down my throat We have saved his dark soul, they proudly gloat

I was excused from the room where I proceeded to get high, hoping to numb myself, forgetting their kindly-veiled lies They could never care about me even if they dare tried because even the best of intentions tend to be swallowed by the ego of those who feel they have done things right They named themselves the saviours of my tumultuous fight But the war I reside within will never be their victory to claim for every time I tried to scream aloud, they peered the other way

The next day, I returned to the same old detention room It is the space that carries all my impending dooms Things were back to normal as though nothing was ever amiss That is how I know they do not care if I cease to exist I leave my body, searching for life outside these dirty walls, wondering how far I could go if I could indeed have it all I sit very quietly, impatient for the clock to strike noon, praying all this destruction will be over soon

but my cycle of punishment always continues

—

Blue Serenity: Phase 0 Pure Life; Conditioned Into Darkness #7

written by Dan Roberts

Hollow Nights.

There used to be bright lights before we all went to sleep We used to imagine a future but we were indeed so naïve This used to be our kingdom before the destruction came to be Our castle turned to ruin and now there is glass at our feet

I heard all the legends of those who came before me about a time beautifully alive where the people were proud to be There was sun and gorgeous flowers and smiles always showed through But then the fateful storm came one night and our light turned midnight blue

I cannot imagine a place that was not like this The streets are dark and very cold and it is all I know I keep moving my feet forward passed the rubble and debris This town is tainted from devastated memories and they continue to follow me down every street and alleyway, rendering me smaller and lonelier by the day There will never be a future if this continues to be my home I must escape before its depression takes its toll

I hope to one day find a light that guides me towards a paradise because I simply refuse to believe that this is all that is meant for me I was meant to adventure in beautiful fields and avenues This cannot be all I forever live and know; there must be a path for my lost soul

I will make a wish and send it out into the sky for peace to exist and I will not dare ask for reasons why All that I want is to see the life beyond the tide The gorgeous sights of a brighter life that is not here

Mark my words, I will acquaint it someday

—

Blue Serenity: Phase 1 Hollow Nights Under Starry Skies #1

written by Dan Roberts

Invisible.

I have sat reluctantly in many rooms that have represented stormy seas because being present amongst human beings leads to difficult breathing But I try everyday to conquer my personal hell I attempt to believe in all the good within myself but wind up incomplete As I walk into these endless rooms, I view the looks of the crowd of people staring at me and judging me, making me feel as though I cannot be myself I often ponder that if I were not human, everything would be safe and sound for I could go on and live my life freely without having to care at all

The glares examine my body up and down and I can see through them, smoke clear with their thoughts that scream so loud I imagine them wishing for me to cease to exist without a sound

You may be wondering why, but the information is as clear as day

I have been beaten, bruised, torn apart and been refused I have been robbed of my peace and I feel so unfree Although I am trying to make it through, all I encounter is darkness and blues because the world can feel so cold when you are invisible

—

Blue Serenity: Phase 1 Hollow Nights Under Starry Skies #3

written by Dan Roberts

Blue Emissions.

I am lost in between a life lived and a lonely present, struggling to meet the road that will lead me into betterment All that I thought I knew has been wiped away along with the knowledge that communicates who I am I do not seem to know much these days

There is a past I know must exist for I have gathered all the necessary evidence by residing in a body, living at this current moment Yet, I feel disconnected to all its continuity because my brain is unreliable and my mind is preoccupied with constant information overwhelming my system each and every day

What I do know is that I am freshly eighteen, young and alive but my surroundings are constantly bleak and dry, overloaded by undersaturated moods coloured in constant doom If I were surrounded by love and laughter, I would never know Being distracted and hypnotized, I am oblivious to other life forms alive and my memories are fleeting, dissipating from my consciousness as each of my pure petals fall

Soon, I will be nothing at all I already feel as though I am

—

Blue Serenity: Phase 0 Hollow Nights Under Starry Skies #4

written by Dan Roberts

Do You?

Do you ever wake from a nightmare and feel all your bones shake? Do the tears never stop streaming until your eyes turn crimson red? Do you fear yourself potentially aiding in your own destruction? Do you sometimes wish you could create an end to the never-ending days?

I have been there, my sweet darling I know exactly what it is like Do you ever wonder if everything will ever get better than this?

I do

—

Blue Serenity: Phase 0 Hollow Nights Under Starry Skies #5

written by Dan Roberts

Help Me Now.

Today, I felt it again The familiar hole I am always buried in I tried to pick myself up within but I am falling down under and feel so helpless

Today I feel frozen I am paralyzed and do not think I will feel again because no matter what I take or where I go, I feel lost to the point of no return and fear I will never find my home

I have been searching for the light inside but my darkness overcomes me and I long to hide Can someone save me? I can feel myself falling down into the trenches Buried by my endless sadness, I have been suffering for what has felt like ages

I beg of someone to come and help me now

—

Blue Serenity: Phase 1 Hollow Nights Under Starry Skies #6

written by Dan Roberts

Dreams.

Pacing, racing I never miss a beat Tossing, turning I never seem to sleep The thoughts keep reoccurring as I wonder lately why the world keeps on suffocating me until I can hardly breathe I just want somebody to help me because I am all alone

Drinking, thinking with too much in my head Shaking, aching I can hardly stand I have been wanting to evolve my entire life so that it finally feels good to be alive I want to cease the crying but I am so tired of fighting and feeling alone

I wish I could drift off and create my perfect life I would take you with me to stand right by my side No one would see us dancing with the stars above Our hearts and these scars are what my brightest dreams are made of

—

Blue Serenity: Phase 1 Hollow Nights Under Starry Skies #7

written by Dan Roberts

Only Me.

It is another lonely night where I am stuck inside of my head, wishing somebody was here beside me in this bed This occurs constantly and never seems to go away You are leaving me here tonight though I wish I could make you stay

In the end there is me, only me A naked soul trying to find my way home but I feel lost, not knowing how to find my road Can somebody help me stay afloat?

I am drowning on my own trying to get by, watching the world pass me by Sometimes I do not think that it is worth trying anymore so I think of packing my things to go, leaving behind a closed door

Because in the end there is me, only me

—

Blue Serenity: Phase 1 Hollow Nights Under Starry Skies #8

written by Dan Roberts

Paradise.

I hurt myself because I was bored Good mental health can feel like such a chore but I still love myself despite how I behave I just need a little bit of help Don’t we all?

Darling, I cannot ever escape this dark, this hole, this unpredictable world of unknowns but I pray everyday to awake in a different state

I have spent a lifetime searching for a paradise A place bright blue and true that is so hard to find It turns out paradise was a gorgeous lie but I am holding onto hope I will find it in time I lay within the intentions I send out to the sky, imagining a vision of true paradise

I will find it in time

—

Blue Serenity: Phase 1 Hollow Nights Under Starry Skies #10

written by Dan Roberts

Midnight.

Blue, beautiful midnight blue where dreams begin and darkness looms where I find myself staring from my place on shaky ground, longing to be found

Star lights echo down onto me, reminding me of endless possibilities seemingly beyond my limited reach The shadows follow me constantly onto every empty street I meet but despite their sabotaging, I understand that I possess the compass of destiny I wonder, how can I trust its movement when none of this seems to matter anyway?

I will be on my way, someday into something larger than me, something better than all I currently know so well Somewhere where all these colours brighten and all I can see are sunshine and waterfalls I understand that one day I will meet everything except the dark and cold I currently know

—

Blue Serenity: Phase 1 Hollow Nights Under Starry Skies #11

Thoughts on coming out

/

What I thought would happen, or, what happened every other damned time I tried to tell you:

Sit in the pit of my stomach

Get stuck in the tunnel of my throat

Lodge in the chasm of my mouth

Prickle and weigh on my tongue

Press against the blockade of my teeth

And finally,

Mangled and aching,

Shredded and bleeding,

Pummeled and pulsing,

Emerge

Changed

On my lips

Like cracked skin and warm breath

As words.

The wrong fucking words.

What actually happened:

I said it, downplayed it.

You dismissed me, and kissed me.

You still want me. You don't know me.

The response too easy; now I'm waiting for it to sink in.

How the hell do I show it, own it, glow with it

When I don't feel any

Pride.

You didn't listen.

/

AKB 2019

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Fireworks in Space

/

Speak pride to power:

Show truth and love and magic;

Into the void, let colour flow

Where once only lies tried to fill the vacuum.

There is no air here.

We bring our own oxygen, and enough to share.

You try to set us on fire,

We laugh and burn and fizz and dance,

We are the sparks,

You gave us fuel.

Fool.

/

AKB 2019

/

A tree is growing

In a place it shouldn't be;

But it's beyond me.

/

AKB 2020

/

A tree is growing

In a place it shouldn't be;

But it's beyond me.

/

AKB 2020

Primrose

Everliving and Youthful

Your image that of Beatrice,

Heavenly, resembling of the days gone

But there is no regret up here, my Dear

Our likes sometimes Daft and Daredevil,

Yet Your presence to me never sufficient

As You are my life’s only elixir, my Dear

Death himself walked the Earth today and

Damned us both, my Dear

But I will never let go of You

Place Your faith in me as You pledge to me

The remainder of Your living moments

The Earth is crumbling at our fingertips, My Dear

My life mustn’t go on any further as I can’t

Bear Your absence

So I shall leave You with the kiss of Death,

For now.

May our fantasies end the plague, my Dear

And may You return to me

You always return, in Spring, kindred to

The Primroses that line Eden’s Garden

ive been trying to make my poetry actually something.

This cigar my incense,

the skirt my ceremonial outfit.

God as my witness, the music my defense,

I will find beauty here, in this moment, despite it.

ya’ll tumblr bitches need to read Midnight Feast by Martina Evans

just look at the asthetic: