Lee Seokmin X Reader - Tumblr Posts

Excited to see how this goes

MADE IN 1997 - 97line

summary: what it’s like to be in a group of different people born in 1997 who somehow became friends

pairing: the infamous 97 line (nct’s jaehyun, bts’ jungkook, astro’s eunwoo, got7’s bambam and yugyeom, seventeen’s mingyu, the8 and dk) x fem!reader (platonic) (the reader is also born in 1997)

genre: smau, humour, fluff, might be teeny tiny angst, no plot just random messages between friends

warnings: there will be a lot of swearing, overuse of shitty memes, fluff, some friendly bickering, problems with mental health etc… (i will put additional warnings on each part)

status: ongoing

a/n: i’ve been reading a lot of smau’s lately because they’re fun and decided to do one myself😃

parts are under the cut!

MASTERLIST

01. fishes doesn’t walk

02. none of us are safe

03. you know who else is hot?

04. nevermind

05. operation - y/n is sad

06. just smile and wave

07. are you cheating on us?

08. who said you have a choice?

09. shorter = closer to hell

10. jaehyun???

11. i just wanna talk

12. i take back what i said

13. …

BONUS

01. the insight of eunwoo’s and y/n’s friendship

02. …

Mine: Seokmin x Reader

But you haven't seen my man

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“You're pouting…” Seungkwan noticed.

I immediately fixed my pout and smiled. “What?” 

“You're pouting,” he repeated. 

“Yeah, I'm just not feeling well” I lied. He came in front of me and held his palm against my forehead. “No it's not that” I said moving away.

“Okay! What is it? You shouldn't be this cranky this early in the morning” he said “wait, where's Seokmin? He's generally around here at this time” he noted and you sighed. Exactly you issue.

“He's off on a client meeting” you said. “But that's happened before that can't be why you're pouting” Seungkwan said. “With Minji” I completed. 

“Oh.” He said “Oh, okay I get it”

Yes, Minji has been on the lookout for Seokmin since forever. It didn't really bother me before, not before him and I ended up in the same project spending hours together and then ended up with going on a couple of dates. The problem is that we're colleagues and neither of us wanted our relationship to become public, so kept all of that secret. Which also meant that Minji was unbothered by any shit and stuck to Seokmin like lice to hair. Even though the man has clearly rejected her a couple of times and Minji apparently has a boyfriend. 

“Your knuckles are turning red, stop clenching” Seungkwan said, hitting my tightened fist. 

"The issue is that I've been in different situations all my life and had people eyeing the person I like. But watching someone in front of my eyes, drooling over that person is something completely else. I think not seeing it and trusting your partner is much easier than looking at it with your own eyes" I grumbled.

"I can understand" Seungkwan said "It must really be difficult" he grimanced.

----------------------------------------------------

It's been a bit over an hour and I see Seokmin entering the floor, with Minji holding unto his hand. A switch turned inside me and I was very angry. 

My brain was stuck to one aspect. ‘Hands off my man’

“Seokmin!” I said and I walked towards him.

“Y/nie” he said, his face brightening up as he tried to pull his hand away from her as the witch gave me a sour look. 

I rushed to him, taking his face in between my palms and kissed his lips. He was taken aback but then I felt him kiss me back, soon I felt two hands on my waist and I pulled back.

Seokmin looked at me in shock and surprise. And we both laughed as I heard Seungkwan and my other close colleague Chan cheer out loudly. 

I hid my face in his chest. 

We heard a stomp and footsteps, and I waved as I watched Minji stomp away towards her place.

“Now what?” I ask him, a little tense at my own action.

“Who cares?” He said and peck my lips again as we both broke into laughter. 

----------------------------------------------------

You haven't seen my man

Song: Ultraviolence by Lana del Rey

Masterlist

the stresses of a humble ceo - l.sm

pairing: ceo!seokmin x female!secretary!reader

w.c.: roughly 2.8k

rating: smut minors do NOT interact

warnings: hard dom!seokmin, seungkwan makes an appearance, throat fucking, semi-public activities, oral (m. receiving), mentions of reader touching themself, seokmin has a throat bulge kink, cumming in readers throat, use of pet names (darling mostly), dirty talk

synopsis: seokmin has been icing out his coworkers, and it's up to you and your throat to find out why

a/n: I hope u enjoy! dom seok has been on the brain for weeks

Your boss had been unusually taciturn and reserved the entire morning. Usually, Seokmin is a bright, cheerful man who spreads positivity throughout the workplace. He had built his company from the ground up, was extremely humble about his beginnings and even shared some of his lowest moments with you, his secretary.

You had been Seokmin’s secretary for just over 12 months, and you had loved every moment of it. Sure, there were quite a few nights where you stayed back to help fill out paperwork or stay back all night to work on a big project that was due the following day, but you wouldn't trade it for anything.

The entire office was talking in hushed tones, almost as if they were walking around on eggshells. You felt confusion, worry and concern bubble up inside you, while everyone around you shot worried looks in your direction as you walked towards your desk. You hardly had time to set your bag and coffee down before account manager Seungkwan comes rushing over to your desk, panic filling his features.

“Thank god you’re here, Seokmin has been so eerily quiet and hasn’t spoken a word to anyone today, can you talk to him?” His voice sounds strained, and you’re almost certain you can see a bead of sweat on his hairline, threatening to trickle down at the next minor inconvenience.

You give him a curt nod and watch him scurry off to complete his multiple piles of paperwork. There were a million thoughts running through your mind about what could possibly happen when you step foot into Seokmin’s office, but you figured the only way to find out what was truly on his mind was to see him and speak face to face.

After shrugging off your blazer, you walk slowly toward Seokmin’s office. The door is closed, which would normally indicate he’s not inside, but you can hear faint muttering and his palms smacking against the desk on the odd occasion, which confirms that he’s inside. You can see Seungkwan eyeing you off from across the office, giving you a somewhat encouraging thumbs up as you rap your hand against the door of Seokmin’s office quickly.

“Come in.”

You feel a chill run down your spine at the tone of his voice; it definitely seemed colder than usual, and as you step inside the office you feel as if the temperature drops another 10 degrees. You shut the door behind you, before finally turning around to face the CEO. 

His hair is quiffed up with gel, exposing his forehead. You can see his blazer strewn haphazardly across the arm of his leather chair, and he had rolled up the sleeves of his long-sleeved shirt, exposing his toned arms and making his biceps look even bigger than usual.

You swallow and let your head fall, your eyes trained on your heels that you definitely should've polished before you came into the office. Seokmin is silent, but you can hear the slight rustle of his pants as he moves from behind his desk to stand in front of it. You observe his brown shoes, the way that his ankles are crossed and his pants are riding up just enough that you can see his bright blue socks with ducks on them. Cute.

“What’s so funny?”

His deep voice snaps you out of your trance, and you hadn't even realized the edges of your lips were upturned. You quickly wipe the smile off your face and let your head hang slightly lower, too embarrassed to even look at his shoes now.

“You didn’t answer me. What’s. So. Funny?” 

Seokmin’s voice is sharp, and definitely sends a chill down your spine and you can feel butterflies erupt in your stomach. While you were slightly scared, it also kind of had you pressing your thighs together, the sheer dominant aura radiating off his being has goosebumps erupting along your arms and legs.

“Nothing, sir.”

He’s silent for a moment and then crosses the room quickly so that he’s standing in front of you. You can feel his stare boring into the top of your head, which makes your blood run cold. When you don’t look at him, one of his hands comes up and runs gently along your jaw, before his fingers are lifting up your chin and you’re staring directly into his eyes.

You have to gasp at the sight of him now. His once warm, brown pupils are now almost black, his lips plump and pink, presumably from being bitten, and a large smirk stretching across his features, sending the butterflies into your stomach into a rampage.

“What did you call me?”

His voice is softer now, and you can feel yourself melting into the grasp he has on your chin, but you can still hear the dominant side of him, and it makes your panties stick to you just a little more. You gulp and try to avoid eye contact, but he simply clears his throat so that you’ll bring your attention back to him.

“Answer me.”

“I…I called you sir.”

He smirks and grips your jaw tighter. He takes a step back, which instinctively makes you take your own step back. He takes another step, so you do the same. He does this until you’re back against a wall, and he slots one of his thighs between your leg, the slightly scratchy fabric rubbing deliciously against your panties.

“Why are you here, my darling secretary?”

Your heart skips a beat at the slight pet name, but you keep your composure and stare at him squarely in the eyes, a grin forming on your lips when his smirk falters at your sudden spark of confidence.

“Everyone around the office has said that you’ve been a bit of an asshole today, want to tell me what’s going on?”

Your heart is racing, you can see his facial features turn from that of surprise to anger, through confusion, and finally landing on something you weren't quite sure how to portray. His smirk drops and so does his head, falling onto your collarbone and heaving a heavy sigh.

“I didn’t mean to, I’ve just had a lot of stressful nights with some rival company that’s trying to edge us out of business. It’s kept me up at night and I guess…it’s finally just getting to me.”

He sighs again and lifts his head, and you can now see clearly how exhausted he seems. From just a small glance, you can see how tired his features are; how the circles under his eyes are much darker than normal, and how he looks ready to collapse from exhaustion at any given moment. Your heart pangs at the sight of him, and you truly feel terrible.

You hum in thought, the gears in your head turning with all the possible ideas on how to relieve his stress until you come to the idea that would surely help him out.

“I have an idea on how to relieve your stress…if you’d like.” 

Seokmin has confusion seeping across his features once again as he waits for you to continue, his eyes urging you to continue your sentence. While you hesitate to bring your idea to the table, he drinks in your form. Slightly mussed hair, your skirt riding up your thighs and revealing your glorious thighs to him, making his dick twitch in his work pants.

But he’d never admit to his secretary of all people, that he’d had dreams of fucking you senseless, hearing your moans and spreading your legs apart so he can drill his cock into you-

“Sir?”

The nickname has his thoughts jumpstarting and his cock jolting in his pants again, and he’s not quite sure what to think now that he’s certain he has a sir kink. He shakes his head and refocuses his attention on you, his eyes widening slightly when he sees you've unbuttoned your blouse down to your chest, your cleavage on full display for him.

He gulps and moves to sit in his leather chair, you trailing not far behind. He watches as you lean against his oak desk nonchalantly, your hand reaching out and letting your fingertips graze over the backs of his hands, a shiver cascading over Seokmin’s body at the slight touch.

“W-what’s your idea?” He chokes out, feeling his dick getting harder by the second. He watches you intently with wide eyes as you crouch on the ground next to him, knees flat on the scratchy carpet. You don’t move for a couple of seconds, just smirking at him as he feels his heart rate increase to potentially dangerous levels.

“Well, I could let you use my throat if you want, it’s not much but…” you trail your sentence off to let your words sink in, and it’s like you can see the dominant change in him once he realizes what you’ve offered. His eyes darken and become slightly hooded, and you can now clearly see the tent in his slacks, not hiding his evident interest.

“Say no more, darling, it would be an honour to use your throat, but you’re gonna have to work for it first, alright?” His voice has dropped an octave and you’re certain there’s a puddle between your thighs, but you do your best to ignore it as you nod and bring your hands up to his slacks.

You palm him slowly first, watching as he sighs lightly and lets his head fall back against the chair. From the awkward angle you’re kneeling in, you observe his hands digging into the armchair, possibly in an attempt to hold himself back from gripping your hair. You smirk and let your hand push harder against his erection, eliciting a deep moan that arose from the very depths of his chest.

“F-fuck, you’re such a fucking tease,” he grunts out, one hand relenting from its place on the armrest and coming up to weave through the strands of hair atop your scalp and hold tightly. You can feel his fingernails dig into the skin slightly, and it only urges you to move forward with your plan and unzip his slacks, the bulge in his underwear straining to be removed from its confines.

Without a second thought, you place your mouth along his bulge, which causes him to suck a breath in. He stays silent as you work your hot mouth over his boxers, his cock twitching under the restraints, his eye twitching with the need to fuck your mouth just so that you’ll stop teasing.

He can feel his stomach tightening, and he pulls your mouth off his boxers reluctantly, just to see your lust-filled eyes and he feels himself falling down a hole that he can’t climb out of. He watches as your smirk falls when he stands and shoves his pants down to his ankles, his boxers following suit.

You can’t help the way your eyes widen when Seokmin’s cock springs out of his boxers and saps against his abdomen. It’s thick, which you had already gathered from mouthing over it, but it’s also at least 7 inches. Just the thought of him stretching you out, the fat head pumping into you roughly, has your panties soaking even more and you’re sure they’re ruined by now.

You move to stand so that he has more room to move, but he keeps you planted by placing a hand on your shoulder, and standing over you darkly. He takes his cock in his hand, stroking it a few times, and you feel your cheeks warm at the lewdness of the entire situation. 

“Your offer had my head spinning sweetheart, so I’m going to take you up on that offer. Tap my thigh twice if you need to tap out, otherwise, I’m going to be abusing your throat until I cum. Understood?”

He smirks when you nod quickly, your mouth opening automatically and your heart beating rapidly as he moves closer and lets the tip slide onto your tongue. It’s heavy and you can taste the slight tang of precum already, and you close your eyes to savour the taste of him. While it has a slightly bitter taste, the horniness coursing through your system cancels it out and you can hardly taste it by the time he begins a steady rhythm of fucking your throat.

Seokmin starts slow, his cock twitching at the feeling of your warm, tight mouth encasing him. He lets himself fall into the bliss of fucking his cock into you, both of his hands coming up to attach to your scalp once again. You slack your jaw a little bit, giving him access to fuck himself into your mouth as he pleases.

With one glance up at him, on your knees, he loses any willpower he had and begins to fuck your throat faster, his cock ramming into your mouth like it’s his own personal toy. You take the opportunity to unbutton your blouse all the way, exposing your lacy sage-green lingerie. While you hadn’t expected anything to happen, it was just your luck you had worn his favourite colour to work.

His hips stutter and he watches as you shrug off your black blouse, finally exposing all the details on your lingerie set. Soft, satiny sage green that was offset with small emerald rhinestones. Everything about it made his stomach grow tight again, and when you took the opportunity to suck his cock while he was in a trance, something clicked inside of him.

He pulled his cock out of your mouth, the action causing you to gasp for air. He tugs on your hair and pulls you to a standing position before he’s pushing papers off his desk and manipulating your body so that you are now on your back on his desk, your head leaning over the edge.

Your heart beats rapidly, while he stands over you with his cock in his hand. He smirks and admires the view; bra straps falling off your shoulders, skirt hiked up so far that he can see your matching panties, dark spot evident on the front. At this point, Seokmin feels like he is about to combust, and can hardly handle seeing you like this.

“You’re going to be a good girl and let me fuck your throat again like this, right? You’re going to be my good cocksleeve.” He groans and lets his cock slide into your mouth again, but this time he can see the way his cock bulges in your throat, and it sends him spiralling into a whole new dimension of needing to cum.

“Oh, fuck, your throat feels so fucking good…can’t believe I hadn’t done this sooner…” He groans out, feeling all his stress melting away with each thrust into your tightening throat. He can feel the way you moan around him, and it only drives him ever closer to the brink of no return.

Seokmin picks up his pace, thrusting into your throat like his life depends on it. He can see the way his cock slides in and out of your throat, the bulge growing and disappearing as he fucks continually into your throat. He can hear your moans and groans and see the way one of your hands is sliding down to your underwear.

“Go on, darling, touch yourself while I use your pretty mouth.” He instructs with a groan, and you moan around his cock while you slide your hand under your panties, causing his hips to stutter which forces his cock deeper into your throat on accident, effectively making you deepthroat him. Seokmin feels your throat contract violently around his tip, and he can’t help but let himself go with a loud whine as he paints your throat white with his cum.

He takes a couple of deep breaths to calm himself down, before pulling his softening cock out of your mouth and whistling at the sight of you. Your hair is knotted, tangled beyond repair, and your eyes are glazed over with a dark lust that indicates you might still be wanting more (not that he’d mind).

While you take the time to sit up and slowly gather up your clothing, he hurries around his office like a mouse, picking up his papers and other office supplies that were strewn across the floor in his haze of lust. He watches you carefully, slowly buttoning up your blouse and picking up your heels that had fallen off at some point.

“Wait, before you finish getting dressed, can I repay the favour?”

You turn and face him in shock, not expecting him to even want to reciprocate and that this was a once-off event. He walks the distance between you and stands in front of you, eyes dark again and he slowly slides your blouse off your shoulders. When you don’t attempt to stop him, he gets onto his knees and shifts your skirt up, exposing your drenched panties.

“I can tell you want this, so just say the word, darling, and I’ll make you see stars.”

“I want this.”

“Good, because I know I feel less stressed after that session, so maybe I can reduce some of your stress too.”

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LOVE SCENE — LEE SEOKMIN ࿐

summary. you’re scared that seokmin might want to go separate ways after graduation, but he proves, in more ways than one, that he wants you. forever.

wc. 2.3k

warnings. college au. nerdy soft dom!seokmin, breeding kink xx, obscene amounts of dirty talk, pinch of angst, literal love making, unprotected sex, marriage kink, HEAVY praise, baby talk, v minimal plot im sorry — MINORS DNI 18+

note. DAMN ok i have a lot to say so i’ll keep it short. ONE this was a request but like i kinda didn’t do anything the request asked for and im so sorry, i hope u can forgive me anon. TWO i literally lost sight of the plot so dont ask me abt any missing details ehehb just enjoy seok being hot <3 THREE happy belated birthday to my minnie <3 FOUR thank u to my luvr @rkiv4d for beta-ing. yas ok enjoy

p.s. reblogs and feedback are extremely appreciated— i also love to hear ur thoughts <3

how seokmin pulled you, the most beautiful girl to ever walk the earth, he has no clue. he’s what people call a ‘nerd’ with his thick-rimmed glasses and his abnormally high IQ and you’re the pretty girl that didn’t understand the simplicity of covalent and ionic bonds who fell head over heels for him. 

you couldn’t help it, he was so smart and so fucking pretty. he was awkward and he giggled when he got nervous and he was so unbelievably goofy that it had you laughing till you cried. nevertheless, he was the most beautiful man ever. 

then you asked him out. he remembers it like it was yesterday. the last day of your chem class– the end of the first semester of your sophomore year– right after your final. you thanked him incessantly, giving him a hug for helping you get a B in the class. you told him you’d rather thank him another way— another way being a date. with you. at your place with a homemade dinner. 

he would’ve been stupid to decline. so he didn’t. and the rest was history. seokmin became your boyfriend, grew more confident in himself, and fell in love with you.

now you’re in your final year, the last few weeks approaching quickly, and you’ve been anxious. anxious about seokmin leaving you, anxious about going separate ways after graduation, anxious that this was all just fun and games till it was time to get serious about life.

seokmin has picked up on your behavioral patterns over the past 2 years. he knows you so well, probably better than anyone else in your life– probably better than he knows himself. 

so when seokmin sees you evading his eyes with his cock stretching you open, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“hey,” he whispers, stilling inside of you. when you don’t turn your head and your eyes are still closed, he calls for you. “baby?”

you feel your heart clench at the pet name. “hmm?” you hum.

“baby, do you not wanna do this anymore?” he questions worriedly, ready to pull away from you. “i can pull out.”

you mumble, “i-i do.” 

he cocks his head even more confused, “talk to me, pretty, what’s going on?”

he pushes into you some more, making you gasp and you can feel his expectant eyes burning holes into your face. you then realize he’s not gonna let this go, but it’s partially your fault for letting your mind wander while he was putting away the dinner you guys ate. you decide to just come out with it.

“‘m just… so scared of graduating…” you whimper between your words, eyes screwing tighter. 

he hums, “look at me, baby.” the demand comes out so soft, yet the sheer dominance of his voice makes you clench around him. you turn your head on the pillow, opening your eyes, and finally looking at him. “why?”

you shudder at the eye contact. he looks so pretty, so concerned over you, yet you’re still tense and oh-so nervous. the topic of post-grad has never come up, and now you’re mid-fuck about to tell him how you want to be with him forever. 

“i-i’m scared that… that you’re gonna go off without me,” you pant, hands wrapping around his biceps and holding him to keep you stable. 

“where am i gonna go, beautiful?” he whispers, bottoming out and fully sheathing himself inside of you. 

you whimper again, his massive cock filling you so well. “s-scared you’re gonna go do big things ‘n leave me…” 

he freezes at that, eyes widening, “leave you?” he asks incredulously as if he couldn’t believe that you’d ask that question. “baby, you think i’d leave you?” 

you nod slowly. “i dunno, ‘s just that i’ve been thinking ‘n you’re so smart– gonna go get a real job that’s across the country or something…” 

he’s honestly bewildered. why would you ever think something like that when he’s tried so hard to show you how much he loves you every single day?

“oh, baby, i would never fucking leave you.” he presses his forehead yours, nose rubbing against yours. “pretty fucking thing, i adore you— love you. more than anything.”

your eyes glisten with tears at the reassurance. you feel yourself relax under him, entirely fluttering at his words. “really?”

“yes, really. how can i prove it to you? want me to put a ring on your finger?” he whispers, breath fanning against your face. 

you gasp, clenching around him again, fingers digging into his muscles. he smiles, chuckling airly at your reaction. 

“my pretty baby wants that? you like that idea?” he asks, his sultry voice filling your ears. “you wanna be my wife?”

you nod your head, eyes fluttering shut as you moan, “yeah, w-wanna be your wife.” 

your response has seokmin reeling. he pulls his hips back and slams back into you making both of you moan again. 

“yeah? bet you want my kids, too.” he states boldly, mind cringing at his words and internally freaking out that you’ll get turned off at them. 

you choke, clamping tightly around his length. “f-fuck.” you cry. “d-don’t say things like that, seok.”

“why? ‘cuz i’m right?” he grunts, thrusts growing faster.

you nod your head and seokmin nearly cries, cock twitching at the idea of pumping you full of cum and getting you pregnant with his kids. you’d be such a great mom and he’d love having a mini-seok running around a nice, big house fit to take a family. 

admittedly, he’s been wanting to talk about his future with you. he’s been fantasizing about it since the first time he said he loved you. fantasizing about you being his wife and living together in a big house and having three kids and living happily ever after as if it were some fairytale. he’s imagined your kids and how they would be a constant reminder of his everlasting love for you. he hopes that they’ll look like both of you– kids with your eyes and his nose. he’d kill for that.

“wanna put a baby in you,” he mumbles, lips ghosting over yours. “swear to god, ‘m gonna give you everything you want– ‘ll get you a ring ‘n a house– everything. just say the word.”

you lift your head to press your lips to his, moaning into his mouth like a mad woman. your stomach drops in anticipation, suddenly craving the feeling of his warm cum filling you to the brim, sure to get you pregnant. your legs wrap around him, heels digging into his back and you can’t resist the cry that he ends up swallowing at the new angle. 

seokmin pulls back, panting, “gonna let me give it to you, baby?” 

“uh-huh!” you nod, eyes screwing shut and jaw going slack as his speed increases. “yes, yes, please give it to me.” your response is wavered as you nearly choke on a sob of pleasure. 

and you know the decision is haste– a baby even though you still have a month left of undergrad seems… absurd to say the very least, but you don’t need to think about anything. you know seokmin. you know he’s the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. he's an amazing boyfriend and person in general. you already know he’d make an even more amazing husband and father. 

who would’ve thought the nerdy man with glasses who was insanely good at chemistry would be the one you ended up with?

he lets out a guttural moan, “such a good girl, always saying please.” he praises, slamming into your sweet spot repeatedly.

and jesus fucking christ, your moans and cries are like music to his fucking ears. 

his head falls into your neck, licking and sucking at your skin. “never gonna leave, i promise. gonna make you mine, gonna take care of you.” he mumbles into the skin as he continues to mark and ravage you. 

the stimulation and his words are sending you into orbit as your stomach churns and tightens at the feeling of his cock rearranging your insides. his strokes are impressive, never missing a beat and unrelentingly hitting the spot that makes you crumble. 

he feels you tighten around him, gummy walls squeezing him in and he curses, “shit, is my pretty girl gonna cum already?” his voice borders on condescending, but it only makes the tightrope in your stomach all the more closer to completely unraveling. 

“y-yeah, so close,” you moan breathily as your pants increase, chest rising and falling rapidly. “so fuckin’ close, min, ‘m gonna cum.”

his lips find your ear and he whispers hotly against the shell, “come on, baby, cum for me so i can fill you up.” he gently tugs at your earlobe with his teeth and you can’t resist, back arching with a shiver running down your spine.

your orgasm brings you immense pleasure, white spots filling your vision as you cum with a loud sob. you feel it in your entire body, from your curled toes to your thrown back head. your eyes roll back, calling out his name and raking your nails down the skin of his arms. 

he coos, holding back a groan at the way you get even tighter as you soak him in arousal. “thaaat’s it, baby, just like that. so, so good for me.” he coaxes you through your euphoric high, fucking you through it as he always does. 

“s-so good,” you slur, parroting his words as your mind numbs a bit. 

he moans, letting the sound of your whimpers and the lewd sounds of your bodies meeting fill the room. he buries his head in your neck again, desperately rutting into you so he can let go, too. your eyes flutter closed again and you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him even closer to you. 

your overstimulated pussy pulses around him as you listen and whine along to your lover's muffled moans. you can tell he’s close. so close to giving you the life you’ve imagined for almost 2 years. so close to being yours forever. 

“seok, cum inside me,” you whisper and his hips stutter, yet they keep moving as if they have a mind of their own. he lifts his head and looks at you– his eyes are clouded over and teary, yet they’re filled with all the love in the world.

he looks so beautiful above you. his face is scrunched up in pleasure, brows knitted, eyes droopy, mouth hung open as pretty sounds exit his loose lips.

“i… fucking love you…so much.” he says in between pants, thrusts growing sloppy. the telltale signs of his fast approaching orgasm becoming heavily apparent. “god, so much, baby, love you so much.”

you nod your head, mirroring his pleasured face. “me too, seok, i love you.” your words are a bit scrambled, but seokmin makes sense of them– understands you so well. 

his eyes roll back a bit at your response, brain momentarily malfunctioning, but he comes back seconds later. “gonna take this load like a good girl, right, pretty? gonna get pregnant and let me marry you?” he moans out breathily, cock now twitching uncontrollably. 

“yes, yes, yes, please, wan’ it so bad!” you beg.

it’s all he needs to press his hips to yours, stilling there, and releasing inside of you while he moans out your name so prettily. it’s a newfound feeling for both of you– his cum coating your cunt, filling you up till it’s spilling on his freshly washed sheets. he’s grown accustomed to finishing on your skin or into a condom, but this? this is all very new. this is something he now can’t live without.

you think the same thing when you feel him spraying your walls with his thick ropes of cum. it feels so good– so euphoric– while it’s leaking out of you. you don’t know how you’ve gone your entire adult life without experiencing this at least once.  

“c-came so much, baby…” you whimper, feeling him pull his cock out of you. 

as soon as he sees his release dripping out of you, he groans softly, already feeling hard again, but he decides to ignore it for now, bringing his attention back to you.

“hey… love,” he says softly, noticing the way you perk up a bit from your tired state just at the sound of your name. “you should’ve told me you felt like that… i hate that you thought i’d just leave you ‘cause we won’t be in school anymore.”

you frown, “i’m sorry, i didn’t know how to bring it up without being awkward… it’s the real world and i dunno… things are different.”

he sighs, hands running up and down your naked sides. “i get it, but like i said, i wanna be with you forever.”

you blush, biting your lip to hide the wide grin that ends up on your face despite the fact. “yeah, i remember… was that a proposal by the way?” you ask meekly. 

he squeezes at your waist, “did you want it to be?” he beams.

“i mean, it was a bit untraditional, definitely not how i expected my wedding proposal to be.” 

“what? you mean you didn’t think you’d get proposed to while i had my dick inside you?” he asks with faux incredulity. “i, for one, thought this was the best proposal ever. i even put a lil baby in you.”

you giggle, wrapping your legs around his body again, “you don’t know that, i’m not pregnant… yet.”

his heart swells at the idea and he smiles brightly at your blushy face, “well, maybe another round can change that, hmm?”

you pull him closer to you by the strength of your legs and say, “make me yours then, seokmin.”

© R-KiVED — all rights reserved, please refrain from copying, reposting, modifying or translating my work on any platform.

Give & Take (l.s)

No! It’s not weird that you and your roommate do certain things that others would consider, um, strange. It’s not weird because you don’t make it weird, and he certainly doesn’t go out of his way to make a big deal either. 

or the one where you and your roommate masturbate together casually until it becomes not so casual, and maybe neither of you can do it at this point without wanting more.

ao3 | m.list | reblog to give seokmin a boner 

minors dni!! 

WORDCOUNT― 6.6k

PAIRING― seokmin x afab reader 

CONTENT― roommate au, roommates to lovers

NOTE― This is dedicated to @onlyseokmins and that’s all I have to say about this. (i’m a liar i actually want this man so bad so here’s my need for him in fic form and also a direct attack on elv.) not proof read.

smut tags under cut:: 

smut tags― big dick seokmin, mutual masturbation, pining, desperate stuff i guess, pretending he’s fucking you instead of his hand,  just the tip moment, unprotected sex, he pulls out bc he’s polite. ~

Moving in with Seokmin was a no-brainer. Both of you were freshly graduated from the same college and starting new jobs in the same city hours away from home. Seeing a familiar face in a city of bustling businesses and loud streets was a welcome comfort for you, living with that familiar face only made it easier. 

It wouldn’t be a lie to say that back during the college days, you and Seokmin weren’t close. Not until your senior year together that the two of you somehow met in the middle with a single class despite the drastically different majors. He took it as an elective, yours was the last “easy” class to get through before graduation, because maybe your advisor fucked up and never told you it was necessary to take, and maybe you were a little mad about it. 

You became less mad as you helped Seokmin through his struggles. An elective for him was a career for you, so it was easy to walk him through it. You grew close within the stress of senior year so of course, when you found out he was moving to the same city that you’re moving to, you instantly jumped into action in trying to convince him to save money by living together with you. 

It’s a big city, and while you both had jobs lined up, it’s not like the pay was enough for one person to afford an apartment in the heart of the city. Thankfully, he didn’t need to be swayed and it only took a few weeks for the two of you to head out and explore the apartments offered, landing on one that leaves an equal distance both of you would need to travel to work. One that only costs some seven hundred and fifty dollars a month each (a hefty amount for just one person.) 

By now, it’s been about six months since the two of you settled here in the heart of a great city. Work has been going smoothly despite the tired nights when the two of you meet up outside (because somehow you both clock out at the same time too) and decide on whether you want to walk to a shop for dinner or fight over who is gonna put the nuggets in the oven this time. 

Things were normal for the most part, you think, regarding roommates anyway. There is one thing that’s changed though. Not your fondness of him, not even the way you look at him when he’s being annoying and loud while singing in the shower. 

It started about two months into living in this space with him. He must have lost track of the time that day because he knew your schedule then and still knows it now like the back of his hand. He took the day off, feigning sickness after a long Sunday of doing absolutely nothing and wanting to extend it just a bit longer through the following Monday. You worked that day, of course, you did. You came home on time as you always did too, except this time you didn’t come home to him in his room or cooking dinner. 

It was a weird kind of rush, wondering how the fuck this could be happening as you stood at your doorway to find him exposing more of himself than you ever expected or wanted to see at the time. There, on the couch was your dope of a roommate, legs spread wide and length in hand. On the tv played nothing, but his phone was propped on his thigh as he stared down at it with deep sighs. 

You were frozen at that moment, watching him and feeling your cheeks warm up. You didn’t know if you should turn to leave, make a noise so he stops, or just watch. Somehow, you found yourself not wanting to disturb him. Was it because you liked what you saw? At the time, you would have said absolutely not. But seeing how it is now, it’s more common than not to see him orgasm, it’s kind of laughable.

On that day, he must have felt someone watching him because mid-stroke he looked up at you and fumbled his pants back over his length. Muffling apologies with raspy whispers, skin glistening on his forehead indicating he must’ve been at it for a while, and you were just standing there silent. 

That night, you laid in your bed wondering why you couldn’t get that image out of your head. Seeing him like that wasn’t something you ever thought about despite how handsome he is. He’s your friend, he’s your roommate. You can’t stop thinking now though, about how big he is in all of his entirety. From his height to his– yeah. 

It went on like that for about two weeks. You, not able to get that image out of your head and him, acting as normal as ever as if it never happened. It wasn’t until the end of that two-week time span that you realized you enjoyed it. Like you would have liked to have seen him finish. 

It swam in your brain for a while, wondering if you should bring it up or if you should push past it and find some guy to meet up with just to work out the horny energy, after all, it’s not like you know anyone in this city well enough to have an intimate relationship with. No one besides Seokmin anyway. Dilemmas, dilemmas. 

Not so much a dilemma though, to your pleasure. It’s brought up one night on a Saturday as the two of you say at the kitchen table complaining about work. Minutes passed, then an hour passed and he suggested having a drink to wind down. You accepted, sipping the alcohol he so proudly made for you. 

It felt warm in the apartment by that point, but you didn’t mind as you found your brain falling back to that image of him. You thought he might be wearing the same shirt that we was wearing that day, which is kind of detrimental for your fogging brain. But, he brings it up. 

“You know, you’ve been kind of weird since that day.” He commented, running his fingers along the rim of his glass. “I really did lose track of time, and I can’t stop feeling embarrassed by it.”

You could see a softer side of him at that moment. Out of how long you’ve known him by now, never once have you seen him embarrassed. 

“About that,” You started, not able to look him in the eye. “I was shocked but–” 

The way he looked at you at that moment was difficult to process. It was new ground for both of you. 

“I think I liked it?”

~

The tip-toeing around each other didn’t last as long as you expected it to. After the talk you had with him on that Saturday night, somehow the two of you ended up doing the very thing that had you in a rut in the first place.

You got to watch him in full, working himself up until he suggested you join, that maybe he’d be into it too. Saying that he felt weird being the only one, though he didn’t mind that you were watching. You don’t know what got into you that night, maybe it was the alcohol, but you did join him. A full five feet away from each other but shamelessly watching hand movements until orgasm. You noted him holding off too, until you got there. It was an interesting dynamic, truly. 

And now, six months into living with him, it’s become a normal occurrence. After every hard day at work, “wanna get off with me?”, after every long movie session or board game loss, “wanna watch each other come?”, to the point that now it’s nearing every day. Any self-fuck session became a shared one. 

Sometimes he even texts you from his room late at night. It’s like you know his jerk-off schedule more than your own work schedule by now. Sometimes, you don’t even touch yourself but instead, enjoy watching him get there with a little help from you, taking off your shirt or spreading your legs. It’s become a thing. And somehow, it’s not as weird as it should be. 

“You got plans this weekend?” Seokmin bellows through a yawn from his room after hearing your alarm go off. 

“Since when do I ever have plans?” You say through your own yawn after pulling yourself out of the bed. You tiptoe the few feet from your door to his, leaning against it and scratching the back of your neck. “Why?”

He stretches loud and obnoxiously before rolling over and planting his face into his pillows. 

“Wanna skip out on work today?” 

You step into his room, throwing yourself on top of him with a tired groan. 

“Yeah,” You sigh out, closing your eyes and fully aware that you could go back to sleep right now despite this uncomfortable position over your roommate. “but why?”

His voice is muffled more by the pillows when he answers you, mostly because your body weight is pressing him further down. He fights to turn his head away from the pillow, takes in a deep breath from the brief smothering, and smiles. 

“I dunno, we haven’t really had a chance to go out and explore the city much outside of furniture and grocery shopping.” 

You realize that he’s right. You’ve heard talk of the malls in this area, of the theme parks, the museums. There’s so much to do here, and neither of you have really attempted to do any of it. 

“Starting today, because we are going to skip work,” He narrows his eyes as he lifts his body up and forces you to roll off of him. “You are going to skip, right?”

You nod, waiting for him to continue what he was originally going to say. 

“We should go out and explore. Rent is paid already, fridge is full, I saved up a bit so we could go do some stuff.”

It flies right past your head. You don’t even stop to think that he saved up to do this with you, and instead you simply nod with a smile before hopping off of him and rolling off of the bed to your feet.

“Guess I should call my boss.” You shrug, starting to leave the room. 

“Wanna sleep a little more first? Kind of dumb to skip out on work and not sleep in.”

You nod again, yawning and looking down at your phone to search for your workplace number. Thankfully, after calling, there was no issue with you skipping work today. After all, you haven’t really missed a single day since you started (unlike some people: seokmin.)

~

Friday was eventful, the two of you walked to all of the shops closest to your apartment, stepping into a cafe and having some coffee, then went to a pristine shopping district and scoffed together at the price of a pair of socks. 

By the time you got home, you were just as tired as you would have been coming home from work, and he was still bouncing on his feet. Drinks, dinner, sleep. 

No casual masturbation that day.

On Saturday, it started much the same except this time the two of you went to a mall. Why he kept insisting on buying you cute panties and matching bras? You know the answer. You’re kind of part of his porn collection now, and he is part of yours too. Maybe he considered it a little too hard when you also suggested he get a cute pair of panties to wear. He didn’t though, and instead bought you like six too-expensive sets of lingerie. Each color to match whatever horny brain he’s in, you assume. 

That night, the two of you ate at a restaurant and took a taxi back home. Sitting beside him on the couch, a question started floating in your brain and by now you knew better than to keep these kinds of things to yourself given the dynamic you have with him.

“You know, you’re buying me all of this sexy stuff–” 

“I am, yeah.” He smiles proudly, eyes crinkling as his eyes shoot to the bag on the kitchen table. 

“Why aren’t you just going out to meet someone instead of settling with jerking off all the time?”

He doesn’t even hesitate.

“That’s a lot of work, why would I do that when you’re right here?”

Why would he do that if you’re here? 

“Why, you getting bored of me?” He jokes, leaning against you and nudging your shoulder. “Should I have bought those panties to spice it up a bit?”

God, it’s so weird how normal this is. No touching each other, only looking. Desperate looking at that, searing eyes, extremely hot orgasms, wobbling legs, and then sleeping alone. Would it really be so strange at this point to want to touch him? To want to spice it up not with panties, but with the act of actually feeling how warm he is? 

“Oh no.” He pauses, eyes widening. “You actually wanted me to wear those?”

“No!” You laugh, though it would’ve maybe awoken something in you, you’re not sure. “I just figured you know, it’s not like you wouldn’t be able to go get laid.”

He stares are you before throwing out another joke. 

“I know that.” He laughs, turning to face you. “It’s not like it would be hard for you either. Why aren’t you out and about instead of sitting in front of me and touching yourself?”

You freeze at his words, realizing that so many times it’s been silent sessions together save for moaning. He’s never actually said those words to you, never dirty talked, never crossed an invisible line while it happened. 

“Would you prefer I go find someone else?” You avoid the feeling in your gut right now only briefly, staring him down.

“No, I’d honestly prefer you touch yourself for me and only me.” 

Oh. Oh fucking no. 

“That’s all you need to be satisfied?” 

He smiles proudly again, eyes flicking back over to the bag and you shake your head at him. 

“We need to wash those before I wear them so you’re gonna have to deal with the boring panties I wore today, I guess.”

He nods, already following suit on the regular list of things he does when this happens. 

It’s always so quiet, and never did it bother you until now. Watching him do nothing but grab his length and squeeze it until it starts to harden. Eyes on you as you do your own version of working yourself up, hand down your waist band and simply touching and rubbing until you feel the first sensation of your gut flipping.

“Seokmin.” You start, looking at him through narrow eyes. This is enough for you, but…is it?

“Hm?” He responds, eyes focused on the movement under your shorts. 

“Can you talk a little bit this time?” 

He smiles, chuckling a bit at you for the question.

“Oh, you’re into that?” He says almost in a mocking tone, but it sends a little wave of heat through his body to have you asking for more of him in some way. “I can’t promise I won’t say something stupid though.”

You shake your head, running your fingers up your folds and stopping at your clit.

“I don’t care what you say, I just really like your voice right now.”

Another pause from him as you watch him adjust his almost fully erect length under his pants. 

“Only right now?” He asks, trailing his fingers gently along the underside of his length and turning his body back to where his back is against the couch cushions. 

“No, I mean, I like your voice all the time but you never say much when we do this–” You admit, watching him intently like you always do, feeling the clock tick up to the point you know he’s going to pull it out and start sighing. 

“Alright, does this mean I can ask for something too?”

You quirk a brow at that but quickly nod in anticipation because finally, this is going somewhere past just watching. 

“Can we like, um–” He blushes mid-question, turning his face to look at you with all of his shame showing plainly. “Can we do it in an actual position for once?”

You can’t tell if your mind is playing tricks on you or if he’s actually wanting to pretend he’s fucking you by suggesting that. Immediately you fumble with the button on your shorts to get them off. 

“Yeah, Oh–” You stop yourself from sounding too excited. “I mean, like, what position?”

“Can I be on top?” He blurts, pulling his hand away from his length and once again looking at you and the way your fingers remain on the hem of your shorts, preparing to take them off. 

The image alone in your head of that is enough to want exactly what he wants, if not more. The illusion of him fucking you while you fuck yourself? You really couldn’t ask for more than that at this moment, though that could be argued if you think too hard about it.

“Deal.” 

The second you say that word, he’s jumping up and practically tearing his pants off of him. His eagerness is as loud and obnoxious as always, you can even hear a small “fuck yeah” whispered to himself when he does it. All is well and good until he’s tugging your shorts down for you.

Never has he taken your clothes off for you. The intimacy is flowing through you, but you’re not sure if he is feeling the same way about it. He’s probably just eager to try something new tonight rather than the usual. 

Your shorts are off faster than you’d normally take them off and you’re kind of chuckling about his blatant desperation until he hovers over you and positions himself where he wants to be. 

Now…now he’s intimidating. With both knees on the couch, your legs bent at the knees and resting on his hips. That doesn’t even matter to you right now, because you haven’t seen his face this close before. You haven’t felt his hips against your legs before, outside of when you flop down on each other during a tired morning to wake the other up. You’ve never felt your stomach flip like this over him.

And when his eyes leave that spot between your legs to meet your own with his same dopey smile, it’s like you melt into a puddle instantly and you’re wanting so much more than just this. You hold back though, finally pulling your eyes from his and looking between his legs.

You knew his cock was big but you’ve also never seen it this close to your body. It’s like, big big. Thick too, and never did you notice just how huge it is because his hands are equally huge, and wrap around it perfectly. To him, it’s a perfectly accurate cock for a man so tall and broad, but damn. 

It’s a bit embarrassing that all it took was for him to hover over you with his cock out to have you forgetting that you asked for him to talk through it. You’re in danger. Extreme danger with him like this and eager to talk this time. It starts so fast, so casually, and you’re still spinning internally just to grasp what you’re feeling right now. 

“Good?” 

That all he fucking says to start, settling into his position fully and grasping himself. Honestly, his cock is only a few inches above your core and you can feel the heat from it.

You nod, curling in on yourself a bit and he takes note of it because you’re never fucking shy. 

“Too much?” He asks, watching you shake your head in response. “God, thank fuck. Because you look so good right now.”

Spinning. 

“You can let go of me now though, I can see how wet you are already.” He continues, chuckling at the way your arms grip his shoulders.

You didn’t even fucking notice that you instantly started clinging to him. Especially with the fact that you didn’t expect him to talk to you like this. The two of you haven’t even started yet and he’s already got you on the verge of insanity. 

You’re quick to pull your arms back and lift your shirt up over your chest before slowly trailing your hand down. 

“Match my pace, okay? It’ll feel better.” He instructs, blatantly making a point so it does look and feel like he’s actually fucking you, all movements matching, sounds matching, lust matching.

You nod again, silently, eyes now focusing on his cock because if you look at his face right now you might just buckle and start crying over how insanely hot he is. 

He lets out a short chuckle at your silence, he’s used to that and didn’t take issue with it at all until you asked him to talk. He hopes you talk back at some point, but for now he leaves it alone as he starts stroking.

Precum is leaking already just from seeing you beneath him like this, bra covering your chest, panties covering your pussy– but it’s enough to get him going. He would feel selfish to ask for more unless you offer it first. He’s got you where he’s always wanted you since this whole thing started. 

You watch his hands, slipping your fingers under your panties and sliding them through your folds at the same pace, shivering only slightly at the feeling at you watch him. 

This pace works for a few minutes, but you note his grip grows tighter on himself and you hear his breath stutter in a sigh when he does it. You wonder what that feels like for him, and you wonder what he’s thinking about as he does it. You move your fingers to your clit at that point, pressing in and releasing your own sigh of relief.

He watches you, eyes shooting to your face and studying the way you close your eyes to really feel it. 

“Look at you,” he coos, trying to talk like you asked him to. “feels better when I’m here, right?”

You half open your eyes with a crooked smile, because of course it feels better when he’s with you. Even if he’s not touching you, even if he’s not the one doing it. 

“So pretty when you do this, you know–” He continues, praising you and falling into the words easier than he expected. “I think I fell in love with watching you from the second you spread your legs for me.”

You can’t. You can’t look at him when he’s talking to you, it’s a lot. It does something, it does a lot of something to you, so you focus on his cock and the way he starts pressing his hips into the circle his fingers create rather than pumping himself. He’s slow with it, lazily moving his hips back, forward, then back again. 

At that moment, you slide your fingers down and tease at your entrance, dipping a finger in easily and releasing a sigh. You can’t imagine this one finger will mimic what he could do to you, but you settle. 

“That’s it,” he says as he watches, hanging his head and knowing exactly what you’re doing with your fingers. “Can I see?”

You don’t respond and instead use your other hand to hook your panties to the side, revealing your finger sliding into you at the pace he’s sliding into his palm. 

The sigh he lets out begins to form into a moan at the end as he watches, wetting his lips and furrowing his brows. He keeps his hips steady despite obsessing over the fact that you’re fucking yourself at the same pace for illusion’s sake. 

“Put in another.” He instructs, watching you do just that and release another sigh. He’s becoming frustrated with the situation though, knowing for a fact that he could do better for you. Knowing that if you’d just suggest it, he would instantly be giving in. “Is that even enough for you?”

Your eyes shoot open and go straight to his face, which is staring down intently at the way your fingers fuck you open. 

“Not always.” You admit, shooting your gaze back down to his cock and the way his grip tightens around it. “Is that enough for you?” You follow up, pointing to his hand with your head.

“Not always…” he mimics you, and then it’s silent as the two of you accept the fact that this has to be enough right now.

And it stays like that for a while. To the point that his hips are relentlessly fucking into his palm, causing his knuckles to bump your clit every few seconds, and you’ve buried in a third finger trying your best to pretend it’s him. 

It’s both too much and not enough. Too much in the fact that he’s all over you, and too little in the fact that he’s right there and not in you. Your fingers aren’t enough when his cock is right there, his words aren’t enough when he’s not muffling that voice with your lips, and you can’t imagine he’s not feeling frustrated with the situation. All of the puzzle pieces are in front of you and neither of you are putting in the effort other than organizing them. You’re not snapping them together, you’re just on the fucking edge of the situation you want. 

Does he want it? Is it too much to ask? Is it–Oh. 

“Can I–” he starts, cutting himself off with a sharp breath because of the way you clearly are trying to reach deeper inside of yourself in pace with his long thrusts. 

“Yes.” You don’t even know what he’s asking, and to be fair you don’t think you give a shit. Whatever he wants to do, please, just do it. 

And he does without a second thought, releasing his grip and pulling at your wrist to slip your fingers out of yourself. Then, he presses his cock directly between your holds, holding it down as he picks up the pace again and thrusts up.

It’s not what you were expecting, but then again you should have known he wasn’t asking to fuck you. This is good though, feeling his cock sliding between your lips, head bumping your clit. The warmth, the heaviness, the way his length is so thick that all you can do is try to not feel empty while it’s sliding through your arousal.

He’s more focused now than he was before, nearly letting out a sob rather than a moan at the feeling of your pussy against the underside of his cock. It's like he’s getting everything he needs and nothing at the same time, but the image of your eyes staring down at it too was enough for him to know you like it too. You like it enough. 

When you let out a moan, trailing your hands up to your chest and releasing your tits from the bra, he only grinds faster against you, pressing down harder on his cock to create a tight space between your pussy and his palm. He stares at your tits, and then at your lips, and then back down at the way your pussy lips spread around his cock as he slides through them. 

Another hidden sob pretending to be a moan, and then he’s leaning closer to your face. 

“If I kiss you, would you be mad?”

You instantly strain your neck to connect your lips with his, and he falls into it all too easily. You can feel him speed up his thrusts, and you can feel his desperate tongue. It takes you a moment to realize this is your first kiss, and it’s while his cock is getting off against you. 

Its more than you could have asked for, honestly, but you’re going to ask for more because as you kiss him, well, all you can think of is how this looks outside of your position. It definitely looks like he’s fucking you. The image that you can’t even see in full is arousing you beyond belief as you kiss him, and when he pulls back for a breath, you take that short moment to spill your thoughts.

“Just a little.” You groan blankly, squeezing your breast in your hand and using your other hand to push his cock away from you. “Just–”

He stops, out of breath, trying and failing to comprehend what you’re trying to say. 

“Just what?” He groans, grabbing his cock and pumping it much like he normally would. 

“A little, just put it in a little bit.”

His face is on fire as his hand halts on his leaking cock. Did he hear you wrong? He’s watching your hands squeeze against your chest, he sees your eyes avoiding him, he can still taste your lips on his, and your pussy is just below his cock, pulsing around nothing. Is he reading you wrong?

“Just a little bit…” he repeats what you ask for, looking down at you and placing a hand on your thigh, spreading his fingers out wide. “You’re asking me to fuck you, just a little bit?”

God, the words. So few words but also so many words.

“Yes.”

He leans down inches from your face and you can feel his cock fall back to your folds at the moment, you shiver unintentionally.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to do that and then you end up regretting it.”

He told himself time and time again during these sessions with you that he would instantly jump for the opportunity to fuck you, but now that he’s faced with it– he doesn’t know what the fuck to do with himself aside from asking for confirmation as many times as he can until he believes you really want it. 

“Just,” You still avoid his eyes and the way they’re staring through you. “Please.”

He nods in an unsure way at first before pulling back and holding his length in his hand again. 

“Just a little bit, right?” He tries to confirm, and you nod.

With a deep breath, pounding heart, and spinning thoughts, he aligns himself with you and doesn’t know how to comprehend the feeling of slipping into you. So he simply…doesn’t.

You can feel the intense stretch instantly, the feeling you’ve been searching for making you shiver and nearly writhe beneath him. Just an inch, it’s all you need, he doesn’t have to do any more than that. You don’t need more, you have self-control, right?

“Oh, fuck,” he groans as your pussy envelops the head of his cock. He can feel the pulsing inside of you massage against it, he can feel the wetness, the fucking warmth. “Fuck, fuck.” 

It’s all he can say, honestly, speechless at your silence of the act. The way your mouth falls open in a silent moan only urges him to give you short, single inch thrusts despite the wetness you offer making it difficult to not accidentally slide further in.

“So thick,” You whine out in a broken and desperate voice. 

It causes him to have to take in a deep breath and hold it. Good lord, he’s fighting so many demons right now not to plunge into you and take whatever he can get. 

“A little more,” you urge him, wiggling your hips and sucking him in against his own movements. He doesn’t mind it, nor does he mind the embarrassing sound he lets out at the feeling. 

Now, he can thrust another inch in, stretching you open a little more, shocked that the three fingers you used before didn’t seem to come close to preparing you for this. He can feel how tight your walls are around him, and again, the demons. 

He lets out another embarrassing sound when he looks down, seeing only a quarter of his cock inside of you. He, once again, holds himself back from pushing in more. He could go so deep, but he can’t. 

“Little more?” He asks meekly, reaching a hand out to your cheek in the hope that you’d let him. He won’t ask again. Just, if he can get half of his cock in you, it would be plenty. It would be enough, he would be satisfied. 

“Or,” you groan at the adjustment around him, knowing full well that by asking him to put the tip in that you’d want so much more. It’s fun thinking you can control yourself, but it’s more fun losing that control with another person. You’re both controlling the need to fuck and be fucked solely because you don’t know if the other wants it. But god, he’s already inside of you, isn’t it fucking obvious?! 

“You could just fuck me.”

Say no more, with those words it’s like his hips act of their own will and he’s slowly sliding into you in full. Relishing in the way your pussy spread out to make room, cooing over the feeling of himself going deeper, deeper, and fucking deeper into you. 

“Finally.” He breathes out in relief when he bottoms out, leaning forward yet again to lay his lips against your forehead. “Felt like I’ve waited so long.”

You’re silent as you adjust to what you can consider the biggest cock you’ve ever taken. The searing pain isn’t much compared to the arousal of his admittance of wanting this only after getting inside of you. 

All you can offer him is a moan when you try to respond with your own witty sex talk, but he sends him spiraling somehow further than he already had gone. His hips stuttering in their planted spot as he lets you adjust, moaning in response to your moan. His lips kissing all over your face now, feeling in this moment that you’re his, and this feeling is shared, and that only your pussy could massage him this way simply because he’s inside of you. It’s overwhelming, all of the feelings hitting at once.

From physical feelings to emotional ones, it comes with such a harsh hit to him that all he can do is flutter those kisses to as much skin his lips can reach. Feeling your eyelashes on his cheek when he kisses the corner of your mouth, to feeling that corner of your mouth open in a yelp when he finally starts to move his hips back. Sliding out of you only a little bit before pressing back in again, deep and lazy.

“Good?” He asks, much like he did before. “So good.” He answers for both of you immediately after, keeping that lazy pace as he leans on his elbows on either side of your head. 

“Wrap your legs around me?” He follows up, already so comfortable speaking through your silence that it feels natural, especially when you do just as he asks.

In wrapping your legs around him, he’s able to adjust his body from the position he’s been stuck in this whole time. Now, he can be on his knees with you curled under him, clinging to him like a koala as he uses the back of the couch to support his balance. 

There, he’s able to pick up pace, there he’s able to see what you look like when you’re being fucked. There, he can see what you look like when he’s the one doing it. And he might be spiraling, but he feels more sane than he ever has in this moment, watching your lips and feeling you squeeze around him.

It’s no wonder he felt no interest in finding someone else. He was more satisfied jerking on in front of you than he had ever been actually inside of another person. Now though, it’s insane to think he was satisfied because he’s changed his mind. Why would he find someone else when you act like this? 

Why would he put himself through the possibility of you going out and doing the same thing with someone else? 

For you, there are no thoughts, just Seokmin. You’d laugh right now if it weren’t for the fact that each thrust forces a desperate and wet sound out of your throat. You’d laugh harder if it weren’t for the fact that you don’t even need to rub your clit to get yourself there.

He easily hits that soft spot inside of you, time and time again as his lips travel over repeated areas until landing on your mouth.

You kiss him harder than before, now trying to move your hips despite the difficulty of being under him. You try to meet him halfway now that he’s sliding nearly his entire cock out before slamming back into you. Emptying you and filling you up time and time again as if to remind you of the few moments before when you felt him for the first time. 

Repeatedly you think you’re about to come, and repeatedly you hold off until he whispers.

“I know that face, you’re holding back.”

It’s so fucking surreal knowing that he knows this without ever actually fucking you before now. He knows what you look like when you come, he knows how you like to be touched after watching you so many times. He knows where you sleep, knows what your favorite foods are, and showers in the same bathroom as you. 

You let go, thinking of only him and this moment you’re sharing. You don’t worry if it’ll ever happen again, because you know it will if he lets it. You’re not in control of this anymore, nor of yourself. 

“Pretty, like always.” He compliments when you make that familiar face of release, pumping into you faster now just to feel the gush of wet he’s seen leave your body time and time again. “Prettier now, though.” He corrects himself, feeling just what he was expecting as your body releases the tension all at once. 

The wet sounds somehow become wetter as he thrusts, still fluttering those kisses across your face to the point that you’re either numbed to it or tingling because of it. And only after he knows you’re finished does he pull out, fucking against his hand so aggressively that you’re more aware now than before that he always lets you finish first if not at the same time.

Except now, if he were to finish at the same time, he’d be filling you up so that there’s no question about the worry that comes after it. Despite knowing you’re on birth control, despite knowing you’re both clean because neither of you have fucked another person in half a year–

You watch with drowsy eyes as he releases strings of thick, white seed against both your pussy and stomach. Your panties, ruined and forgotten as they strain at the crease of your thigh. You whimper at the sight, so in love with the way it feels hitting you for some reason. So endeared with the way he pulled out despite knowing in his head that it would have been fine if he stayed. 

When he flops down over you, ignoring the mess between your bodies, you’ve never felt so close to him. You don’t think you ever want to feel further from him, actually. 

It’s the start of something else now, you’re not sure what, but it’s a given.

~

The start of something new came in the form of his room turning into a guest room for a new roommate. 

That roommate has yet to be found, but it’s an excuse to sleep next to him every night. No titles have been claimed but they’re definitely been given. Just a day after that happened, you caught him slipping and calling you his girlfriend. He figured that since you didn’t correct him, it must be true.

Yeah, it must be. 

7PM (teaser)

pairing; boo seungkwan, lee seokmin (dk/dokyeom), kwon soonyoung (hoshi) x afab reader

genre; eventual smut (full fic), crack, fluff

warnings; the warnings will be listed in full for the full fic once it is released (hopefully this weekend), alcohol, pining, a spicy tease of a game of truth or dare

w/c; 560 and some change for this teaser 

requested; no

'bout you master list

a/n; i am very hopefully to have this fic finished this weekend by sunday (fingers crossed) so i wanted to give you a little taste. i hope you enjoy the teaser. if you decide you want to be part of my tag list in order to be tagged for this fic keep in mind this will be smut heavy.

“Truth or Dare?” 

The words leave your lips as a giggle, your body resting against Dokyeom’s as he shakes his head lifting his hand for Soonyoung to hand him another beer.  He might be more on the side of drunk at this point but he couldn’t miss the way his body reacted to the feeling of your warm breath against his bare bicep. 

“Only if you actually accept some dares this time, Y/N.” 

You laugh again, your hand grabbing Dokyeom’s forearm so you could use his body to sit up a bit straighter to look at Boo Seungkwan. “I’ll have you know Boo, ‘truth’ can be just as interesting but yes…I will accept some dares. I swear it on…” The three men watch you glance around until you meet Soonyoung, who smirks at you. 

“I swear it on, Soonyoung’s favorite tiger plushie. I might even give it back one day.” 

Soonyoung narrows his eyes, tipping back a shot of tequila at your words before pointing at you. “I’ll just steal him back, you are a dirty little thief. I knew he was here.” As much as he wanted to pretend to be mad at you, Soonyoung can’t help but go soft when you laugh, shrugging your shoulders and causing one side of your sweater to slip down your arm. 

“You wouldn’t dare, I sleep with him every night, Soonie. I need him almost as much as I need you three.” 

You had no idea how your words affected the men sitting near you. While Seungkwan had to take a calming breath at the idea that you needed him, Dokyeom was still trying to keep himself in check as you leaned against him. Soonyoung was a bit bolder, his eyes roaming over your face and body as he watched you take another shot, your nose wrinkling up at the burn. 

“Truth or Dare, Y/N?” Soonyoung’s words bring you back to the present, shaking your head as you think about his question and smile stretching your legs out so that you can rest more comfortably between Dokyeom and Seungkwan. 

In truth there was nothing different about this night than any other night when the four of you had decided to have a sleepover, sitting on the floor much like tonight playing stupid party games. Plenty of nights the three men had crashed in your living room, one of them usually ending up in your bed after pouting about being cold, but it was all so seemingly innocent. Tonight there was more of an unspoken tension in the air. If you felt any of it, you didn’t seem to let it show. 

Meeting Seungkwan’s eyes, you see the challenge in his eyes, the way he raises his eyebrow knowing that you are considering choosing truth as you always do. You smile at him so sweetly that Seungkwan’s eyes drop to your lips briefly, his body shifting slightly before he looks down a grin on his face when you finally speak. 

“Dare.” 

Dokyeom hadn’t expected you to actually pick dare, shifting his body he causes you to fall against his chest. You laugh at his shocked face, a smile spreading across his handsome face, his large but gentle hands helping you to sit back up. “Sorry, just really thought you’d pick tru–” 

“I dare you to ask Dokyeom if he is turned on right now.”

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the physics of love

➳ lee seokmin x gn! reader

➳ summary: three times someone called you and seokmin a couple and one time he did something about it.

➳ wc is approx 5.5k words

➳ tags: childhood friends to lovers, friends to lovers. lovesick seokmin, seemingly unrequited feelings. idiots to lovers. everyone sees it but them. avatar by james cameron slander. pet names used "platonically", knight in armor seokmin. stuck in his feels seokmin, pining and yearning seokmin, salty n jealous seokmin. "platonic" cuddling and pda. minghao is judging every single person ever.

➳ warnings: reader goes on a date with an asshole, panics and calls seokmin while upset. mentions of mummies. cursing!! reader has hair that can be tucked behind ears. reader calls their mom.

➳ notes: inspired by the poem the physics of love by kim inyook, which i suggest reading (linked) before reading this fic to get an idea of the metaphors and symbolism used throughout. for information on otzi, the naturally made mummy, go here. you don't have to know abt otzi to read this fic, but i still think he's super fucking interesting.

o n e 

there was a poem you had read to seokmin once. 

he didn’t remember a great deal of it, too distracted from watching the way your lips formed each and every syllable, the way you spoke like a secret melody, the song one his heart had long known. the two of you had been in his room, the line of your bodies pressed together. it was dark, with only the artificial light of his bedroom lamp lighting the room, but still it casted such a benevolent glow upon you that seokmin swore you were ethereal. 

he might not have remembered the poem or its words, but he remembered what it was about. someone seemingly small and elegant, of no consequence to the world, and how such a person could pull the narrator towards them with a pull stronger than that of the earth and its gravity. 

it was you, he had realized, and him. you were seemingly ordinary, and yet he found you more beautiful than any flower or any sunset, found you more interesting than any foreign language or animal, your voice lovelier than any instrument or song, your mass and gravity heavier than any planet’s, constantly pulling him in, closer and closer and closer. 

it was why, seokmin knew, he couldn’t help but press himself next to you even though there was tons of space. the outside table was large enough to fit eight and only five sat at it, but still seokmin pressed his shoulder to yours and wedged himself in between you and hansol, his thigh against yours, your warmth seeping into his skin. 

“hi,” you had laughed, eyes bright and sparkling. you leaned into seokmin, putting your weight against his in response. you pressed your forehead to his cheek, a fleeting moment of contact that had his heart racing and mouth drying.

minghao, who was new to the group, peered over his glasses at the two of you. his eyes flickered, watching as you slid your snacks towards seokmin and offered him one, as seokmin gasped happily and snatched the pretzel from your fingers. 

minghao cleared his throat, setting his book on the wooden table. “are you two,” he began, his voice soft, hesitant, “you know. dating?”

seokmin’s heart leapt. he tried not to think of how the two of you often looked to outsiders, pressed together, giggling and laughing and smiling and caught in the other’s orbit. he couldn’t. if he did he would start imagining other things, like your lips against his cheek and how sweetly you would feel pressed against him, his hand sinking into your hair and angling your face towards him; how early mornings wouldn’t mean waking alone but waking in your arms, his face pressed into the crook of your neck, your hands soft against his skin. 

so no. seokmin couldn’t think about such things. 

you pulled away from him at minghao’s words, retracting. seokmin missed you as soon as you moved, wanting to bridge the distance you had put between the two of you. “we’re not,” you explained, pulling another pretzel from the bag. you hooked your fingers through the hoop, spinning it slightly. “we’ve just been friends for forever.”

“you’ll get used to it,” soonyoung explained, patting minghao’s shoulder. the younger man’s face was completely red, heavily embarrassed from not only asking such a personal question but being wrong. “they’re always like this. they’ve been friends since they were like, thirteen.”

“y/n was my knight in shining armor,” seokmin explained, stealing the pretzel bag from you. he dug through it, busying himself in an attempt to shove the heartbreak at your answer deep down. you weren’t lying. you and seokmin weren’t dating and you had been friends forever, and during that forever the two of you had stopped worrying about what others thought of your closeness; during that forever the lines between platonic soulmate and romantic soulmate blurred for seokmin, the two becoming one. 

you laughed at his comment, elbowing him. “someone was making fun of him for a bad grade he got on a quiz.”

“so y/n punched him.”

minghao’s embarrassment evaporated, something akin to awe and horror taking over. you and seokmin began cracking up, your laughter blending together and creating the most precious and beautiful melody. 

“i did not,” you protested, swatting seokmin’s arm. “i’ve never punched anyone in my life,” you told minghao, rolling your eyes. “all i did was push him a little.”

“and then he fell down a flight of stairs.”

“stop,” your laughter was loud now, gathering the attention of passing strangers. “he did not! we were -- minghao, we were on the playground outside of the middle school.”

“you’re right,” seokmin agreed. “and it was the playground y/n pushed him off of.”

you turned to seokmin ripping the pretzel bag from his hands. “i did not! minghao is going to think i’m some sort of bully.”

“well you did just smack be a couple of seconds ago --”

you huffed, turning your shoulder to seokmin. you were so irritated with him, but he could see the little grin that was curving the corner of your mouth, the way your eyes crinkled slightly in merriment. “okay. so someone was being mean to seokmin and i pushed him back and away, and he stumbled a little bit. but he didn’t fall. didn’t fall down, didn’t fall down stairs, didn’t fall off the playground equipment. 

“after that i guess i sort of just took seokmin under my wing. i got decent grades -- better than him, at least. so i began sitting with him and helping him with assignments, and thus our friendship began.”

“it’s like rhinos and those little white birds,” soonyoung explained further. “except seokmin got all the benefits in the friendship and all y/n gained was some annoying fly buzzing in their ear.”

seokmin gasped, eyes wide. he threw his pretzel across the table at soonyoung, the snack instead hitting a studying mingyu. “i’m not a fly!”

“you’re not a fly, don’t worry.”

mingyu quickly interrupted you, throwing the pretzel back across the table and hitting seokmin on the cheek. “y/n’s right. you’re some stray dog that y/n fed once and now won’t stop following them home.”

seokmin grabbed the pretzel bag from you, dug his hand in and grabbed a handful of pretzels. he then threw them across the table, the snack raining down on the boys sitting opposite. “i’m not a stray dog!”

“seokmin!” you admonished him, pulling seokmin back to your side. you looked around before gathering some of the fallen pretzels and sweeping them underneath the bench for birds. “it’s okay, seokmin. no need to get upset. you might be a stray dog but don’t worry, you’re a cute stray dog.”

t w o 

“i can’t fucking believe seungcheol rented an entire theater for jeonghan’s birthday,” mingyu muttered, sticking his extra large popcorn underneath the butter dispenser. “it’s so ridiculous.”

you shrugged, shoving your drink underneath the soda dispenser. seokmin grabbed two straws and took them out from the wrapper, waiting for you to press your lid on top of your cup before sticking it inside of your drink. “i mean. you know how seungcheol likes it when people boast about his generosity.”

hansol sucked in a breath, tilting his head. “is it really generosity if you want someone to talk about it?”

“i don’t care if he wants me to talk about it or not,” seokmin argued. he shoved mingyu out of the way with his hip, thrusting your shared popcorn underneath the butter dispenser and soaking it. “if seungcheol wants to buy me a macbook and tells me to run up and down the interstate screaming about it, i will. don’t think i won’t.”

you laughed, grabbing his drink off the counter and holding it in your other hand. you leaned against it next to seokmin, so close that your elbow brushed against his. he couldn’t help the way his heart swelled a little with pride. all this space, and yet you still sought him out and stood close enough to where you were touching. 

it was as if -- if he dared to think this -- he had his own mass and gravity that dragged you into his orbit, that had you leaning into him and crossing rooms to join his side. it was as if just like seokmin you, too, were drawn to him. 

“give seungcheol a break you guys,” you chuckled, tossing your head back and flipping your hair over your shoulder. you had worn it down, the locks framing your face beautifully. well, in seokmin’s opinion you always were beautiful with no exception -- even that one time where he had to barge into your apartment when you were puking into the bathtub, sickness running its course through your body. 

“you act like seungcheol isn’t the one that forks out money the easiest when we need help,” you added. seokmin pulled the popcorn towards himself, wiggling the box and letting the butter travel. “he literally just bought supper for us the other night, mingyu.”

seokmin looked up from the popcorn, meeting mingyu’s eyes. mingyu looked like a puppy getting caught pulling the stuffing from a favorite toy. his dark eyes were round, his face in a wince. “you ate out with mingyu and seungcheol without me?”

you shrugged, stepping away from the counter. seokmin, pulled by you, followed. “it wasn’t anything big, seokie. they just picked me up after work and seungcheol asked if i was hungry.”

seokmin pouted, ignoring how hansol’s face contorted in disgust at your pet name for seokmin, waddling after you as you walked towards the ticket attendant. you stopped once you noticed mingyu and hansol weren’t following, still busying themselves at the counter, rifling through the different popcorn seasonings. 

“what degenerates,” seokmin muttered, shaking his head distastefully. his heart leapt when you giggled, bringing your drink to your lips. “can’t take them anywhere.”

“funny,” you said, “that’s what i usually say about you.”

seokmin fake laughed at you, high and pitchy. you let out a little cackle, trying to mimic his fake laughter before you were interrupted by your own little snort. 

seokmin bursted into laughter, throwing his head back. you were mortified, eyes wide and darting around the theater space. you looked liked a deer in the headlights, embarrassed at your snort. “do you think anyone heard that?”

“just me, sweetheart,” seokmin returned, unable to help the pure adoration and love that dripped from his voice. he reached out, shifting the popcorn to one hand. he skimmed his fingers over your brow, drawing your bangs aside. he then tugged on them before tucking them behind your ear, letting him see all of your face unobscured. “you’re so cute.”

you gave him a look, cheeks high on your face as you tried to suppress your grin. you rolled your eyes a little, letting seokmin’s fingers linger on your ear for a few moments before you pulled away. 

mingyu joined the two of you in long strides, hansol slowly walking behind him, digging through the popcorn and popping a few in his mouth. mingyu stopped once he reached you two, turning around. “hansol! you’re allowed to walk a little faster, you know?”

hansol looked up at mingyu, unperturbed. “we should’ve got seungcheol to rent the theater for the new avatar movie.”

“i could not care less about that movie,” you said, deadpan. you then turned and walked towards the attendant. “we’re part of the party for theater thirteen?”

the attendant blinked. they glanced between you and seokmin. “oh, yeah, no problem. y’all can go ahead and go through. do you need help getting to the theater?”

you shook your head, sidestepping around the attendant. “nope! we’re all good, but thank you.”

the attendant nodded. then they leaned forward across their box, voice low but still loud enough for seokmin to pick up on it. “may i just say that you and your boyfriend are absolutely adorable.”

“oh,” you said, balking. “we’re -- we’re just friends.”

if seokmin heard that phrase one more time, he’d quit. he’d quit his life, quit his job and quit the lease on his shared apartment with jeonghan. he would kiss his parents good-bye and then retreat to the nearest mountain. he would befriend the neighborhood friendly sasquatch, learn his ways before making his own home in a mountain cave. he would live the rest of his life in that cave, never to hear another human voice, never to hear those dreaded words again. 

the attendant looked over your head. seokmin fought to control his wince. 

you waited for mingyu and hansol to walk ahead of the two of you, mingyu complaining as hansol continued to maintain his slow, lazy pace. 

“seokmin,” you began, voice low and hesitant. “do you -- do you ever think --”

“try not to,” he interrupted. his heart was going to leap out of his throat, his brain packed up and left his body and was taking the first taxi out of the city. he was going to drop his fucking drink, his palms were so sweaty.

you blinked. “right. but seokmin, do you wonder about what it --”

seokmin laughed, pointing ahead at mingyu. “haha, kim mingyu nearly fell! come on, y/n, we got to hurry before they get fed up with waiting and start the movie.”

he shouldered ahead, leaving you behind. 

a huge part of seokmin felt guilty. he couldn’t help but mentally fill in the rest of what you were going to say. do you wonder about what it would be like to date? do you ever think about what it would be like to be together? do you know why people constantly think we’re dating? do you know why people always say that you look at me like i put the stars in the sky, do you know why you come home from every single date alone, do you know why you can’t help but compare every single person to me? do you know why your heart stutters and leaps and yearns for me, do you know, do you, do you love me?

he didn’t know what to say to any of those questions. seokmin didn’t know how to navigate such a thing. how could he? how could he attempt to navigate the seas of your relationship when he didn’t know its limits, when he didn’t know where the sea stopped with its smooth currents and began ravaging your ship. 

he knew he loved you. he loved you platonically and romantically. he loved you like a dear friend, loved you like the love of his life. 

but where did you stand with him? 

could he even dare to hope that you shared a fraction of his feelings? that you -- that you thought he was the sun amongst the dark clouds, that he was as precious as a rare flower, that he was someone precious and someone to be treasured? 

he could barely manage to greet his friends when the four of you entered the theater, could barely manage to let his smile grow. the seats were dual sitters, large and practically meant for couples to cuddle. 

seokmin felt horrible when you dropped into a seat, looking at him, expecting him to join you in the loveseat. for a moment he was going to sit beside you, press against your side and wrap his arm around your shoulders and pull you close, breathe in the shampoo of your hair. 

but then he remembered. do you love me?

and so seokmin sat on the other side of the cup holder, keeping it between your bodies, keeping him from your side and from our warmth. 

and it plagued him for the rest of the movie. 

t h r e e 

jeonghan and joshua were being loud and having fun, and seokmin was not about it. 

he had a cloud hanging over him ever since you texted that no, you couldn’t hang out on friday night because you!!! had!!!! a!!!! date!!! you couldn’t go with him to see that new museum exhibit you had been so excited for because you were going!!! with!!! someone!! else!! 

you were going to see something you had been looking forward to for forever with someone that wasn’t him, and even worse, you were going with someone who was a possible romantic interest.

it was so out of the blue. you and seokmin rarely went on dates, you even moreso. they were so sparse that seokmin could count the amount of times you went on dates on both hands, with the amount of times you met that same person on a second date being counted on two fingers. 

it wasn’t like you weren’t allowed to go out on dates and be your own person. of course you could! you were allowed to hang out with other people without him, were allowed to see movies and go to the market without him. you were allowed to go see that new museum exhibit that you had been waiting all year for with someone else. 

but that didn’t mean seokmin had to like it. 

it felt so wrong. it felt like it was against the laws of the universe for seokmin to not be with you when you were doing something so precious to you. it was like he was fighting against gravity, constantly trying to force himself from giving up and returning to your orbit. 

at first he fought with himself. who cared about that exhibit anyways? who cared about some ice man who had the oldest tattoos in the world? who cared that he was a mummy that was naturally made?

but then seokmin had felt his heart crumple, as if it were a piece of paper that he, himself, was crumpling up into a wad. you cared. you cared about this exhibit. 

and that meant the world. it didn’t matter if seokmin didn’t particular care for mummies or ice men, didn’t matter if he found them sort of creepy and even scary. it didn’t matter that he found the 90s movie the mummy creepy and always squeezed your arm whenever certain parts came on. none of that mattered because it, mummies and ice men and extremely old tattoos, mattered to you. 

so of course it mattered to seokmin. 

and you were sharing it with someone else. you were sharing something so precious, so beloved, with someone that wasn’t him. 

it was just a downhill from there, seokmin realized. it was just one exhibit, just one prehistoric iceman. but eventually it would be more than that. it would be more than one iceman, it would be more than one date. it would be one, two, five, a hundred dates and a wedding and he would lose you for the rest of your lives to some worthless, horrible, no good, terrible, lazy, third-rate vermin. 

that was his lot in life. seokmin wrapped his hand around the beer glass in front of it, pressing his fingers against the cold drink. he could only be lucky enough to be your dearest friend, lucky enough to occupy your orbit for a moment in time. he would be lucky enough to be your best friend, never your lover. 

that would have to be enough, seokmin vowed. he lifted the drink to his lips, settling them on the rim. it would have to be. and it would be. 

his phone buzzed on the table. seokmin ignored it, tuning in to jeonghan pestering joshua about some bullshit made-up story behind the origin of beer. 

his phone quieted. 

then it began buzzing again. 

seokmin set the mug on the table, grabbing his phone. as soon as he turned it over and watched your name flash on his screen, he felt his stomach drop and his heart freeze. 

you never called. if you were going to call him you always warned him with a text. you hated calls. you hated calls so much. you called suddenly like this only when you needed him, like that horrible day where he had to force your apartment door open, when you were so sick you could barely move. 

seokmin picked up the phone before he fully registered what he was doing. “y/n? baby, are you okay?”

you hiccuped into the phone. seokmin’s body tensed, sliding to the edge of the seat, prepared to jump from it and run out of the restaurant. “seokmin,” you sniffled, voice close to the phone receiver. “he -- he brought us to a bar for supper and he just -- he left me here.”

immediately seokmin was standing, grabbing his coat. jeonghan and joshua began badgering him, following suit and standing. he abandoned the table without second thought, going to the register. “it’s okay, baby. just tell me where you are and i’ll be right there, okay? it will all be all right. your seokminie will be there. stay inside and i’ll call you when i get there. or do you want to stay on the line?”

“stay,” you begged, and seokmin knew he would do anything for you. “i don’t know where he brought me. it’s -- seokmin, i’m so stupid.”

tears stung at the corners of his eyes listening to you fight your tears. seokmin shook his head even though you couldn’t see it. “no. listen, sweetheart. you’re not stupid. just stay on the line with me and i’ll be there quicker than -- quicker than superman. all right? it’s my turn to be your knight in shining armor.”

you laughed into the phone, though there was no joy or happiness in it. you laughed like it was the only thing you could do in that moment, like it was the only thing stopping you from sobbing. 

“i’m gonna hand you to jeonghan while i pay,” seokmin said, glancing at his older friend. jeonghan had an extremely worried expression on his face, brows furrowed and large eyes wide. “that okay, baby?”

once you gave your affirmation, seokmin was handing off the phone. he pulled out his card, shoving it into the reader before the woman behind the counter could say anything. 

she glanced up at him, drumming her fingers on the counter. “i hope you get to your partner quickly. it seems like they really need you.”

“they’re --” he cut himself off. but joshua and jeonghan were right there, probably listening. “they’re my friend. they had a bad date.”

the woman nodded, glancing at the other men. then she leaned over the counter. “you know,” she said, voice quiet, “you’re acting like this someone might just be more precious to you than just a friend.”

seokmin looked down at the card reader. it chimed; he stuffed his card into his wallet. 

as soon as his phone was back in his hand, he was bringing it up. “okay. i’m back, sweetheart. did you tell jeonghan the address? did you look it up on maps?”

a n d  o n e 

there was nothing seokmin liked more than being pressed against you. 

the winter weather brought cold rain, the sound of it slamming against pavement loud. you had pushed open your windows just a smidge,k letting the sound of rain fill the bedroom before you squealed, running across the carpet and jumping to join seokmin. 

the two of you were so wrapped around one another that, looking down on the blanket, he couldn’t tell where you began and he ended. your legs were tangled with his, arm hooked through his and holding your phone over his shoulder as you peered at it. seokmin had long abandoned his phone, dropping it behind your head. 

instead he let his eyes fall shut. he basked in the smell of you, how surrounded him. your lovely fabric softener that reminded him of spring, the vanilla scent that constantly clung to your skin. he had rifled through your candle collection and lit one called sea island cotton, which further seemed to sink into his soul and coax it into a rest. 

it wasn’t often the two of you were able to do this anymore, seokmin lamented. he wiggled one of his hands free, reaching up and sinking it into your hair. it was a little greasy, but he slid his fingers through it all the same, thumb stroking the strands as they went to his fingers. 

you weren’t kids anymore, seokmin knew. it wasn’t like high school, where the two of you could sleep over at the other’s house for the entire weekend, doing homework together, pressed shoulder to shoulder on the carpet of your living room. it wasn’t like college where you could spend every passing moment with him, save for the rare ones where you attended separate classes. 

you were adults, seokmin thought. and that meant being busy, constantly searching for ways to preserve old friendships. 

really it was a miracle the two of you had maintained yours. especially when it felt like every passing day with you had his heart growing another size, when seokmin felt part of his soul being torn between wanting what’s best for you and wanting you. 

sometimes he wondered what it would be like if those two things were the same. if he was what was best, if you genuinely wanted him like he wanted you. if you imagined walking through the supermarket hand in hand with seokmin, if you thought about the puppy the two of you would adopt. if you thought about the sort of house would suit you best, if you thought about the cruise you two would take after retiring, hand in hand and sipping margaritas. 

he wondered what it would be like to be the person you always sought out first to drag to iceman exhibits, to be the person you would always call first when in trouble. seokmin was your number one now, was the person you constantly orbited around, but who was to say it would be like that in a year? six months? 

when your phone vibrated it scared seokmin, making him leap in your arms. you laughed, loud in his ears due to your close proximity. you tapped the phone, answering it and putting it on speaker. “hi, mom.”

there was a rustling noise. “hi! i was just calling about the weather. i saw you were going to be having some bad stuff heading your way.”

you hummed. your feet wiggled against his, tapping on his in a rhythm to a melody only you could hear. “yeah, it’s just raining right now. i saw there was a thirty percent chance for a bad storm in my area, so it might miss me altogether.”

“well if it gets bad i want you to go down to the laundry room,” your mom announced, voice firm. you rolled your eyes, bringing a laugh out of seokmin. he tried to muffle it, pressing forward and burying his face into your hair. “is that -- do you have a boyfriend you’re not telling me about?”

you sighed, shimmying. you turned your face from seokmin’s chest so you could speak clearly into the phone, but not dislodging him completely. “it’s seokmin, mom.”

he hated the way you said that. 

“do you have a boyfriend?”

“it’s seokmin.”

as if he couldn’t possibly be your boyfriend, as if the word wasn’t something that could be added to his definition. he could see it as clear as day: lee seokmin, son, friend, boyfriend to y/n. 

“how was the date with that guy?” your mom asked. seokmin fought the urge to butt in, to berate the man and call him every single bad name he could think of. “what was his name? you two went to that exhibit, didn’t you? how did you like it?”

you paused. your hand had been playing with the fabric of seokmin’s shirt but at her question you stopped, smoothing your hand down. you tapped your fingers against him once, twice, thrice. “uh. his name wasn’t important. we didn’t even get to go to the exhibit.”

“oh,” your mom sighed. seokmin could practically picture her closing her eyes, pressing her lips together. “oh, y/n. well. you can always go to the exhibit with seokmin, you know.”

“i know,” you said, fingers beginning to pick at seokmin’s shirt again. “i can always count on seokmin to let me drag him to see some dead dude.”

seokmin frowned against your hair. he hated this conversation. he hated the dejected tone of your voice. 

he pulled away slightly, nose pressing into your hairline. seokmin kept his voice low so your phone wouldn’t pick up on it. “can you hang up? i need to talk to you real quick.”

you threw him a troubled look, but you did as he asked. once you were off the phone with your mom, which had taken another few minutes, you were pulling away from him with a little frown. “seok? what’s up? did you not want to go to the exhibit with me anymore?”

seokmin sat up, crossing his legs. you scooted towards him, pressing your feet against his calves. seokmin reached out, laying his hands on your knees, palms up. you quickly settled your hands in his, shifting so each of your hands was wrapped around two of his long, elegant fingers. 

“i want to go to the exhibit with you,” he said, leaning forward. you were so beautiful. “but i want you to know you wouldn’t be dragging me to it.”

you winced, hands squeezing his. “poor choice of words, i know.”

seokmin shook his head. “no. it’s more than that, y/n. it’s. i want to go to the exhibit with you.”

you tilted your head. seokmin watched, endeared, as your bangs escaped from behind your ears. “but i didn’t think you liked otzi or were even interest in him. i don’t think you even know his name, seokmin.”

“i thought his name was otis,” he admitted. you snorted, lips turning into a smile. “but listen to me. are you listening? i want you to listen, sweetheart.”

your smile wavered, your eyes turning serious. you nodded, licking your lips and squaring your shoulders. “i’m listening, seokmin.”

“i don’t care about otzi,” he reiterated. when you frowned at him, lips parting to protest, he shoveled forward. seokmin couldn't let you interrupt, not when he was standing on the edge of the cliff and preparing for the plunge. “but he matters to me. he matters to me because he matters to you.”

you wiggled your hands in his, releasing your hold on his fingers to instead lace your digits together, weaving them like a tapestry. it was like you were no longer just pulling him into your orbit but weaving your celestial bodies together. “seokmin, i need you to be more clear. what do you mean?”

“i mean,” he sighed, fighting to try and gather his thoughts. how could he put nearly a decade of love into words? “i don’t want you to go see otzi with some other man. i don’t want you to go to the movies with anyone else. i don’t want anyone else picking you up after work and taking you to eat. i don’t want you to cuddle with anyone else on winter nights where it’s raining.”

there was a pause in the air. you looked torn, as if you were at war with yourself. your eyes were serious, your lips pressed thinly. “seokmin. lee seokmin. i need you to be really clear about what you’re about to say. because if you’re saying what i think you’re saying, if you mean what i think you mean --”

you broke off suddenly, tearing your eyes from your face. you squeezed them shut, taking a deep breath. 

“if you love me,” as soon as you said those words seokmin was sucking in a large, horrible breath that seemed to fill his lungs and then some, stretching them out. “if you love me like i love you, i need you to be crystal clear. please, seokmin, please.”

“i love you,” he returned, as clear as sunshine and just as beautiful. “i love you. i want to hold and kiss you, i want to be your boyfriend. i don’t want you to ever take anyone else to museums or say that we’re just friends. i want you to have to call and tell your mom that lee seokmin is your boyfriend.”

you wrenched your hands from his and seokmin had a fraction of a second to miss the feel of them before you were throwing yourself forward and into him. your arms went around his shoulders, pulling him fully in your orbit, joining your masses and making you one. 

“i love you,” you chanted, the words sweet and like honey to seokmin’s ears. “lee seokmin, my knight in shining armor, my superman, my bestest friend. i love you.”

but no matter how sweetly you spoke, the kiss that followed was even more so. 

I ❤️ DILFS / GOOD GIRL (18+)

pairing: student!brother's bff!seokmin x student!good girl!reader

genre: college au, brother's best friend au, smut (MDNI), bit of crack, a small bit of angst but not nearly as much as most of my fics

description: when you head out for college, you incidentally end up at the one your bother's best friend has disappeared to 2 years prior. now, seokmin has promised your brother, vernon, to teach you and take care of you while you're away from home. unfortunately, it seems vernon should have been a bit more specific about what exactly seokmin was supposed to be teaching you.

warnings: vernon is ur overprotective brother, seokmin is not a dilf unfortunately, dirty talk, masturbation (male and female), fingering, slight restraint?, praise (f. receiving), pet names (good girl is so overused), teaching, innocence kink, corruption kink, oral (m. receiving), tiddie play, alcohol consumption, a bit of pining, shame on the readers part, she feels a bit like a slut for a moment, kinda brief mention of miscarriage? for like a metaphor lol, jeonghan is hot in this, giselle is ur bff and i almost gave up my mission and made this whole fic ab her shes so hot, ok i think thats it

quotes my creative director (@joshibambi): "just admit u wanna bang son", "o is for orgasm", "the urge to be the younger sibling for once"

wordcount: 15.9k

a/n: the way this fic took me years to write. i hav been busy :( thank u 2 every1 who liked girl code uve made my whole year :D hope u like this one 2!!

You preferred to remember Seokmin for how he was.

How he was small and young, how he had a swanky bowlcut and how he looked in his school uniform. How he and your big brother, Vernon, had bonded and watched movies together in your living room, and the countless dinners he’d stayed over for, always so respectful to your parents and you. He wasn’t your best friend, he was Vernon’s, and yet he made it so easy to feel comfortable, so easy to feel like you were the one he came over for. 

You crushed on him back then, wrote countless diary entries about him and his stupid, beautiful smile. But it had been so forbidden, you remembered feeling that, because of how Vernon had groaned at you to leave every time you peaked your head through the living room door, masking your insistent eyes on Seokmin with simply wanting to “watch a grown up movie”. Sighing, you’d turn back to your princess pink room, and the boundary - the Vernon shaped boundary - that stood between you and Seokmin grew farther.

It had almost been a relief when Seokmin left for college. That was the most terrible thing, the relief you felt while your brother was grieving the sudden separation with his best friend. But your heart simply couldn’t help but let out a long sigh - years of yearning for him when he was so close by. You felt that cool wash of repose when that border between you and him had disappeared from your view. Years of watching it, wondering whether to pad closer or turn away from it, became a distant memory. For two years you were almost a normal girl and a good baby sister. 

Then it was your turn to head off for college. The nearest, big college to you accepted your application and you still distinctly remember dinner with your parents and your brother, how’d they’d cheered and clinked glasses and looked at you adoringly, because you were growing up right before their eyes. Then under the faint light of the restaurant chandelier, your mom had said something that immediately sent you hurdling back to that old, distant boundary: “Maybe you’ll see Seokmin there!” 

How had you forgotten? You supposed in that time you’d let yourself be more taken with the relief. It was the thought that he would be gone that had distracted you from exactly where to. And there you were with all your moving plans and your packed backs, and your glass raised and frozen in the air and your eyes wide. 

Then came the reasoning: surely, you could avoid him? It was a big college, there were plenty of people. There was no logical reason you’d really have to see him. Except for Vernon, of course. Ever so oblivious, your brother had called up Seokmin to tell him the good news, and to tell him to take care of you and protect you. And Seokmin was so sweet, of course, he’d take care of his best friend’s baby sister. 

And there you were at college. All grown up.

In your defense, you had avoided him skillfully. You’d turned down his request to help you with unpacking, turned down his tour of the school (that you’d actually desperately needed - why is room 240 not with all the other 40’s?!), and most of all, you’d turned down every single message inviting you to a party. 

I guess to him that was a perk; partying with the older kids. He knew you after all. He knew that you were a quiet girl and you stayed within your neatly laid brick walls, and he knew you were shy, and he knew you needed help letting loose. He knew you were a good girl. 

Which is why it wasn’t surprising at all that you turned down his offers - wanting to stay focused on school. At least, that’s what you told him. Truth was even being in his vicinity had put you much closer to that boundary you’d never dared cross. You were afraid even just seeing him would send you hurdling back, like a leaf in the wind. So you didn’t go. 

For a while, at least. 

“This is, like, a once in a lifetime opportunity!” Giselle whined and you shook your head adamantly. “Absolutely not.” 

“Well, maybe not for you, but for me!” she argued. “I can’t believe you’re consistently being invited to parties with hot, sexy men, and you’re turning it down because of one guy!” 

You were currently sitting in the library with your roommate, Giselle, and you’d made the unfortunate mistake of telling her about your predicament after receiving yet another invitation to a party tomorrow. Giselle was throwing a temper tantrum because she had never ever had anything as ridiculous. 

You liked Giselle a lot. She was very different from you - she was hot. You weren’t - you were cute. Giselle held boys on leashes and made them do homework for her. She liked partying and sexy, black dresses. You were a fucking nerd, and cute was the highest compliment you had ever received for your looks. Even though you were different, Giselle had immediately taken a liking to you. You had initially feared she would think you were lame, but she was so nice - except for right now.

“Come on, Y/n, there are, like, no cute guys in our year!” she said pleadingly, clasping her hands together and pouting, but you shook your head.

“You don’t understand, Giselle,” you murmured solemnly, trying to regain your focus on the science textbook in front of you. 

“I understand perfectly well,” she said and you eyed her suspiciously. “I understand that you’re a bitch!” 

“Alright, that’s unnecessary,” you said, closing your book. You pinched the bridge of your nose, when she went on. “No, honestly, Y/n. You’re a virgin, right?” 

You snapped your head towards her in shock. Your eyes darted around frantically, before you leaned over the table to whisper to her: “How do you know that?” 

“Don’t embarrass yourself, honey,” she grinned, holding back laughter and you rolled your eyes, sighing. “And what about it, Giselle?” 

“How are you ever gonna get yourself out there if you’re constantly caught up on this guy and trying to keep away your feelings for him? You’ll stay a virgin forever, girl. You need to look him in the eyes and realize you’re above that childish crush!” 

You stayed quiet, slumped in on yourself with your book in your lap. Why was she making sense? 

You’d never thought about it that way. That your infatuation with your brother’s best friend was somehow holding you back from exploring and evolving as a woman. That maybe having him in the back of your mind every time you’d shyly made out with guys in high school, had been the thing that stopped you in your tracks. 

“I can see it on your face, you know I’m right,” Giselle smiled smugly from behind the screen of her laptop. “Unless you’re asexual. In that case, fierce, but if you’re not, like, get out there, queen. Sometimes you need to realize that you have to leave one dick for another dick because the other dick is so good.” 

You furrowed your brows. “Is.. Is this still about me?” 

“No,” Giselle shook her head.

“Okay, yeah, ‘cause- ‘cause that didn’t..”

“Yeah, I know. I was more so, uh, angling-”

“Right-”

“Angling the story to- to my current situation.”

“I get it, yep.” 

There was a moment of silence. You pursed your lips and looked at the message on your phone. Then you started typing.

“Are you telling him you’re coming with your super sexy, hot friend?” 

“Yes.” 

“Y/N, I LOVE YOU.” _____________________________

Regret was a nasty, old demon on your back and it had twisted and tugged at your guts, while you let Giselle get you party-ready. You’d sat on her bed, in her dress, and having her put her makeup on you, you’d sulked and tried to shrug off your back.

“You look so hot when you actually try,” she’d giggled, using a fluffy brush to spread the bake underneath your eyes.

“Thanks,” you’d mumbled, and she’d paused her movements, frowning.

“What’s wrong?” she’d asked, sitting back on her knees. You had sighed, reaching a hand up to run it through your hair, but pausing midway when you realized you would ruin the styling Giselle had worked so hard on. You lowered your hand again.

“I’m not sure about this,” you’d murmured and she frowned genuinely. “Y/n, I meant what I said. I know I talk a lot about boys and stuff, but you really shouldn’t let yourself be held back by him!” 

Before you could speak again, Giselle had tugged you off the floor to stand in front of her mirror. 

“Look at you,” she’d cooed, clapping your shoulders. “You look so pretty!” 

You’d smiled a little shyly, looking at your form in the mirror abashedly. You were pretty. Not cute, not nerdy; pretty. Curves hugged tight by a sleek, black dress from Giselle’s closet, this was a version of you that could actually see having sex - seducing men, gaining from her looks.

“I guess you’re right,” you’d said sheepishly, and Giselle had smiled sincerely and you’d let her take you to the party down the streets in a nearby frat house, and you’d almost not wavered when you stood right in front of it, music blasting out of every crevice. 

But then you were inside and he was right there. For the first time in two years, he was there, and he was so hot. He was wearing a white tee and a fucking silver chain, and, God, when did he start working out, because his arms were so big and so toned. And his hair was fluffy and dark brown, and his face was slim, and the tops of his cheekbones were shining under the kitchen lamp, where he was talking to some other guy, arm flexed, as he leaned against it on the counter. 

If there was one thing about Seokmin that had stayed the same it was that smile. He wore it now, laughing, as he talked to some blonde guy about something, and you wanted to scream because, there it was. The boundary, the ledge, the line, whatever, it was right before you again, right there with him. And all the feelings that came with it, your heart, wet and red in your throat, a brew of anxiety in your stomach. 

Without sparing even a second, you’d clasped onto Giselle’s wrist, tugging her into a herd of anonymous people, and just walking. Walking, walking, pulling her along (she countered only with a “hey!”) only for you to hit a wall or something, just as long as you were far, far away from him. 

“What the hell?” she said, when you finally stopped walking because you’d entered the living room, which was apparently more exclusive, as only a few people populated it, including a couple that was making out on the far end of the couch. 

“He was there,” you gasped dramatically, as if you’d seen a ghost. “I-I can’t do this, Giselle.” 

“Relax, babe, it’ll be fine. You’re away from him now, aren’t you?” Although she was trying to be supportive, you could tell she was growing a little tired of your theatrics. You couldn’t care less though, you were panting, and peering over her shoulder to see if he was somehow coming towards; and, God forbid, smile at you with that angel grin. 

Giselle followed your gaze and sighed, brows furrowing. “How about I get us some drinks? Then you can let loose a little.” 

You nodded absently, following her lead when she pulled you to sit down on the couch. You clambered to the couch rest, when she walked away, swaying her hips to the music. 

You might’ve looked different, but you were still you. The entire scene had you uncomfortable, and you were still the shy, unconfident and nerdy girl. You cursed yourself for letting Giselle’s reassurances fool you - you would never be this type of person, and you would surely never get over Seokmin. She’d been wrong about everything. 

“You okay, darling?” 

You jumped at the voice, eyes darting up to see who it was. 

You didn’t know him. He was handsome, though, but you’re not even sure you’d call it that. He was pretty, and he had long, black hair and big eyes and he was giving you this teasing smile, that was doing nothing to ease your nerves.

“I’m good,” you squeaked, gaze moving to a nearby pair of shoes in the corner of the room. You heard him chuckle, before he dropped into a squat before you. One lean hand came up to your knee, giving it a squeeze. “You just look so nervous, pretty,” he sat down an anonymous cup of liquor. “I don’t think I know you. Can you tell me your name?” 

The hand on your knee burned into you, thumb brushing back and forth over the skin and he was looking at you so intently, it had you sputtering. “Uhm, uh, Y/n.” 

His thumb froze. You looked over at him curiously to find this dumbfounded expression on his face, devious grin spreading on his pretty features. He chuckled and cleared his throat, face dropping down before he moved it back to look at you again. 

“You’re the girl Seokmin’s always inviting over here?” 

You nodded shyly and he smiled at you. “I’m Jeonghan.” 

“Hi.”

A pause. Jeonghan squeezed your thigh, watching in delight at the way you screwed your eyes shut. 

“You know, I just didn’t expect you to look like this,” he said finally and, sensing your confusion, he teasingly added: “The girl who’s always turning down parties to study.” 

You blush deepened, cheeks furiously rosy, as you fiddled with your fingers in your lap. “I borrowed my friend's clothes,” you breathed, pursing your lips. “Ah!” Jeonghan gently patted the top of your thigh, nodding along exaggeratedly, “You borrowed your friend’s clothes! I see!” 

He studied you while you giggled at his antics, still refusing to look him in the eye, really. He was almost suffocating, his hand on your thigh and his eyes boring into your face, and his cologne in a constant stream in and out of your nostrils. But suffocation, you decided, was almost better than being around Seokmin and having him parade his kind heart and his thick arms and his sweet smile, and just how off-limits he was. 

Ripping you from your thoughts, Jeonghan stood up, placing both hands on the tops of your thighs and bending down to your face, so his nose was buried in your cheek.

“Look at me, darling,” he whispered, then pulled his face away from yours, just enough so you could gaze into his brown eyes. His hands were much higher now, squeezing hard at the plush of your thighs, dangerously close to your center and only separated by the thin fabric of Giselle’s dress. 

“There she is,” Jeonghan smiled, voice a whisper. His lashes came over his eyes, when they flitted down to your lips. “Don’t you wanna come with me upstairs, and I can make you feel really, really goo-”

“JEONGHAN! GET OFF OF HER, THAT IS MY BEST FRIEND’S BABY SISTER!”

There’s a voice you know.

From across the room, Seokmin had burst through the mass of people, now power-posing with an extended finger in the direction of where Jeonghan was tilting over you, rubbing your thighs, as you sat innocently before him. 

Jeonghan stood up, taking all of his heat and his suffocation and cologne with him, groaning and throwing his head back. “Seokmin!” he whined and he was suddenly no longer so suave and seductive. 

“No, I won’t hear it, Jeonghan,” Seokmin said and, as much as you knew Seokmin to be sweet and tender and lovely, there was this crystal-clear anger in his voice. He walked over, one large hand pushing at Jeonghan. “Go get any other girl and sleep with her, just not her. Get your sorry ass out of here.” 

Apparently Jeonghan sensed the same thing you did - a rare anger in Seokmin - because he didn’t put up much of a fight at all, only smiled at you apologetically (and then, when he was behind Seokmin, gave you a small, devious wink - he just couldn’t help himself). 

You couldn’t focus much on Jeonghan at all though. Because Seokmin was standing in front of you, all muscle and huge fucking thighs by your head, and when you dared to tilt your gaze up to him, you saw how all that anger simply melted away. 

“Hey,” he breathed, smiling softly.

“Hey.” 

Then his eyes darkened, if only for a moment, as they traveled over your figure, gift-wrapped in that tight, black dress. His jaw clenched and he looked around for a moment. When he looked at you once more, he was giving you that smile - the one you’d fallen in love with - and the chocolate in his eyes was melting.

“Come on,” he ushered gently, one hand carefully guiding you off the couch. “Let’s go to my room where there aren’t any scary, evil, mean men.” 

Despite being so on edge, so jittery, as you followed him up some distant staircase, you couldn’t help but laugh at those words. He was talking exactly like he had when you were kids. That was how you preferred to remember him; all small and young and with a swanky bowl cut, and he’s the exact same way with you, hand warm in yours, as he guides you through the house. 

“Why’re you laughing?” he smiled, and you suppressed your own, trying not to dwell too much on how fast your heart was beating. “It’s just like before,” you quipped and Seokmin’s hand squeezed yours in understanding. 

He lumbered down the hallway and at its very end, preceded by rows of white oak doors, he opened his own with a twist and a turn of the brass-blend knob. When he closed it, the party became muffled around you, as if his room was filled with water, and now the rest of the world was a garbled mess, and you were drowning.

His room was clean. You supposed Seokmin had never been the messy type - not even when infected by the influence of Vernon. He had a half-open closet, where you spotted folded clothes, and a circle rug and purple and green lava-lamp plugged in on his nightstand. 

Seokmin apparently did not think it was clean enough, because he swooped down gallantly to grab a tossed sweater, smiling at you sheepishly when he held in between his fingers. You stared at him.

You felt like a kid again. Felt like just a young girl, creeping through the crack in the living room door, and looking at his silhouette, outlined by some grotesque horror movie playing on the TV. His sharp nose, when he turned to Vernon and laughed, his hair, all poofed and tousled and scruffy, and his smile. 

And you’d let yourself fall into this trap, maybe to some extent you’d even wanted it. Because now he was right in front of you, and so was that damned barrier, right by your outstretched fingertips, and you could almost envision yourself climbing over it - climbing into his lap and-

“I didn’t think you’d ever come,” Seokmin said gently, a permanent, small smile frozen on his lips. You coughed, unready. “Uh, yeah, my friend- my friend thought I should try and.. You know, get myself out there.” 

Seokmin studied you, bemused and fond, fiddling with the baby blue sweater in his hands. You were looking back cautiously, as if assessing a threat, but the threat was the sweetest, kindest boy in the whole wide world. 

“Yeah, well,” he cleared his throat suddenly, ripping his gaze from you to fold the sweater onto his desk chair. “I’m sorry about Jeonghan, he’s.. You shouldn’t, uh..” Now neatly folded, you saw him rubbing the sweater between his fingers. “You should stay away from him.” 

“Why?” you asked, and it was genuine enough that Seokmin let out a sigh. 

“You’re too much of a good girl to be with him. He’s no good.”

A whimper clawed its way up your throat, bubbled from the depths of your belly, but you tamed it and settled on a light hum. You felt your underwear becoming a little sticky, and you wanted to die, because God, this was your brother’s best friend. They still facetimed every Tuesday and still played Fortnite together over Discord every Saturday. 

“College going good?” Seokmin asked, retreating from the sweater to sit down on his bed. He looked up at you brightly and patted the spot next to him. It felt like another trap, where the folds in the blanket curved down under his weight, and would eventually lead you into him. You sat down hesitantly. 

“It’s okay,” you breathed, folding your hands and in your lap and tensing your shoulders. Seokmin, fully relaxed and slumped, noted your posture and slid his hand over the exposed skin of your back. “Hey,” he whispered, so intimate it hurt your heart, “hey, hey, relax, Y/n. It’s just me.” 

His eyes were soft and full of concern when he spoke quietly again, his voice almost a backdrop to the muffled sounds of dancing college students: “You know, Vernon was really concerned about how you would do away from home.” 

“I’m not doing bad!” you said quickly, dismissing it immediately. Seokmin stared at you. “I just- this isn’t really my scene.” 

His hand felt searing hot on your back, where it slid up and down, almost coaxing you further into him. He hummed. “Yeah, I didn’t think so.” 

Then: “I’m sorry if I made you feel like you had to come. Just figured you might want that street cred of being friends with the upperclassmen.”

You snorted and, cheeks rosy as ever, started giggling, eyes still cemented to the floor. Your hair was falling gently over your face, wisps of baby hair tickling your forehead. 

“It’s okay,” you sighed away the laughter, “You were just trying to get me out of my shell. I appreciate it.” 

Seokmin smiled at that. His hand dropped from your back and you both stared into the expanse of his room. A small window to let in the rain, the moonlight separated by the grid, and the curtain blowing in a solemn breeze. You and Seokmin sat, both very small suddenly, like kids, on the edge of the bed and became speckled in starlight, in diamond-dust. 

Then Seokmin was doing it. He was letting you be comfortable, letting you slip into a dazed joy, intoxicated from his presence. He was asking about your teachers, exams, friends, experiences, and you were both laughing together, and once again you were forgetting that Seokmin was your brother’s best friend, and he was not with you for you, but he was simply talking to you out of courtesy to your brother. He let you forget.

“You going home for the break?” he asked then, room quieted down from all the laughter. The fall break, starting tomorrow, you remembered. You’d thought about going home, but had opted to text your parents that you were staying, wanting honestly to stay in your dorm room and work on assignments and organization and just lull in bed, instead of being taken up, down and everywhere in your hometown. You shook your head. 

“Really? Me neither,” he said, brows raised. “Won’t you get lonely?” 

You giggled shyly. “Maybe a little.” 

“We could hang out,” he breathed, and at that you tasted the boundary between you, felt it firm under your fingertips, because you couldn’t discern whether he was protecting his friend’s baby sister or if he actually liked talking to you, and your heart beat and yearned and hoped for the latter. 

“Yeah, okay,” you nodded, melting when you saw his smile reach his eyes. 

“Didn’t you always like, uh, Mario Kart? You always wanted to play with me and Vern,” Seokmin said, but he was looking distantly into the window. You almost wanted to cry because he remembered you, remembered things that you liked. “I got it on my Playstation, we can play tomorrow.” 

“I’d like that,” you said.

Then Seokmin was loaning you his hoodie, and, bathed in his warm, tender smell, he followed you home under the moon, glaring at Jeonghan on his way out. 

“Keep the hoodie,” he’d said, smiling sheepishly when you stood in front of your dorm door. “It’s cute.” 

He patted your head and left, thankfully before he could see how red your face was, and how you were absolutely about to blow up from unfiltered joy. You shuffled into your dorm room and tried to soothe the basking butterflies in your stomach and your burning heart. 

Was he standing right across from you on that line, waiting to cross? _____________________________

Giselle woke up just early enough to catch you switching between different button-up dresses, throwing one on, looking in the mirror, and deciding to try another. She was groggy and tired and somewhat hungover, and needed to catch a train, so she could get back home. 

“What are you doing?” she cried, rubbing her eyes. You scurried back and forth trying on another dress, considering white tights, then white socks, then adjusting the tone and volume of your blush.

“I’m-” you gasped in between your hard labor, “I’m seeing a boy!” 

This caught Giselle’s attention. She shot straight up in her bed and looked at you with huge eyes. “No way!”

“Yeah way!” you giggled deviously. You turned around to face her. “What do you think of this outfit?” 

“You look cute!” Giselle praised, nodding to your red strawberry dress and your knee-highs. You slumped. There it was again - cute. Not hot, not pretty, but cute. That was what you were; like a child, like the kid Seokmin knew years ago, like his best friend’s baby sister. Nothing more.

“Who is this mystery guy?” Apparently Giselle was too busy rubbing sleep out of her eyes to see how her compliment had deflated you.

“It’s Seokmin. My-”

“Your brother’s best friend?!” She gasped. It was one shock after another from you that morning. “I wanna say I’m disappointed in you, but.. If you pull this off you’re way freakier than me.” 

“We’re not gonna have sex!” you groaned, pouting as you hastily shoved on your shoes. “We’re gonna play Mario Kart.” 

“Right, this cute guy just invited you over for Mario Kart and nothing else, I get it,” Giselle said sarcastically. 

“You don’t know him,” you mumbled defensively, shoes on and now staring at yourself in the mirror once more. “Cute,” the mirror spat at you.

“All men are the same,” Giselle rolled her eyes and threw herself back on the bed. You snorted and began to walk out the door.

“Y/n, wait!” 

“Hm?” 

Halfway out the door, a tote bag slung over your shoulder and ready to step into the sunlight, you peered back into the room. Giselle, in her sweats and hair fussed, stumbled blindly towards the door. She reached into her pocket and produced a-

“A condom?!” you shrieked, outraged. And not just any condom: a condom in white packaging with the lettering “I ❤️ DILFS”. You truly did not understand how Giselle managed to be a caricature of herself time after time.

“You need to wear protection, he’s in a frat, right?” she shrugged. You glared at her. “I’m not bringing a condom.” 

“Alright, I guess,-” Giselle pretended to think, “I guess, you’ll just have to get chlamydia.” 

You stared at her for a moment, bristling. Then you snatched it out of her outstretched hand.

“You’re unbelievable.” 

“You’re a prude.” 

“Goodbye, Giselle!” 

The condom slipped into your tote with ease to lay snug with all your other items and then you were out the door and heading towards Seokmin’s frat house. The sun was dulled by a few clouds, but it was still shining. Leaves were turning brown and red and yellow and were falling from trees to crunch underfoot - everything was lovely.

But the expanse, in your head, was much different. In your head you were traveling the soft dunes of a desert, spotting in the brown and red and yellow horizon a cleft in the sand. When you reached it, wide and long, seemingly endless to each side of you, you were standing right in front of Seokmin’s house.

You weren’t sure how long you stood there, knuckles white where you grasped your tote, and eyes big and heart pounding. What if Giselle was right? Did you want her to be right? Would you even be able to please him if she was? Half-heartedly you tried to push away the images of Seokmin pushing into you, arms flexing on either side of your head, that spawned alongside the thought. Maybe you straddling him, his hands on your ass, his head buried in your chest, or-

“Y/N!” 

You jumped, clutching your bag tight, when you snapped your head up to the voice. It was Seokmin and he was waving at you from his upstairs-window, smiling so brightly you swore the sun reflected off of his teeth. 

“What are you standing there for, come inside! Door’s unlocked!” he yelled, body disappearing in the window. You stared at the window for a moment, his presence now absent, before you nodded to yourself in reassurance. You could do this, right? Just Mario Kart and small talk.

Truth was, you couldn’t do this. Not even in the slightest. You and Seokmin sat cross-legged on his bed, TV on the wall before it, drinking soda and crunching on chips. Seokmin was drenched in a green, fuzzy sweater, collarbones peeking over the rounded neck, and fingers peeking through the sleeves, where he held his controller, and God forbid, his hair was all soft and fluffy, and he was wearing fucking puppy socks. 

And he was competitive, too. He was leaned forward, eyes narrowed as he sped through the course. You huffed when he blue-shelled you, and you tried to refocus.

“I thought you said you were good?” he teased, eyes leaving the screen for only a second to look at you - you, dress bunched up to your thighs and tongue peeking through your pretty, subtly red lips. A second was all that was necessary. 

Suddenly, his character (baby Daisy) swerved off-course, falling into the pit below and he screeched, seemingly genuinely sad, as your character (Toadette) overtook him, the little gold badge popping up in the corner to tell you that you were number one. 

“What were you saying?” you giggled cockily when you finished the last round, Seokmin unable to quite catch up to you in the last stretch. He threw himself back on the bed in defeat, groaning into his hand.

“I can’t believe I let you win,” he cried.

“Let me?” you repeated in disbelief. You scoffed and put down the controller, pretending that Seokmin lying all angelic on his bed sheets wasn’t making your stomach pinch with static. “Pretty sure that was just pure skill on my part. Don’t blame me because you’re bad at Mario Kart.” 

A blow to his talents in Mario Kart was a blow to him. He snapped his head up to look at you, playfully angry. “Oh, oh wow, really? I’m bad at Mario Kart now?” 

“Mhm,” you hummed, smiling cheekily at him. Seokmin studied you for a moment, before he shuffled into a sitting position. His gaze almost made you shy. Did he want to kiss you as much as you wanted to kiss him?

Seokmin shuffled closer to you and you almost stopped breathing: “Don’t I remember you being ticklish?” 

You were almost so caught up in your fantasy to realize what he said. Your eyes widened in realization and you most immediately tried to twist your body away: a punishment was upon you.

“No- NO!-” You cried out but it was too late. Seokmin wrestled his body into yours, fingers dancing and prodding into your sides. Drowning in laughter, your face twisted into tortured pleasure, as you tried to bat his hands away. Your attempts were futile - each time you shuffled away, he followed right with you, fingers unrelenting as your torso twisted and turned. 

"Hehehehehehe- NO, PLEASE!- hehehehehehe!” 

Your knees pushed with all their might and you were almost able to drag yourself to the edge of the bed. There, you could gain distance and talk him down from beyond his desk. But Seokmin was smart. He sensed your escape plan when you squirmed away, and without much thought, he pulled his body on top of yours, weight pinning you down. 

You were still giggling and squirming, when his fingers finally let up. You were both panting from the excitement, Seokmin smiling down at you adoringly. Then, both of your smiles dropped.

It was like it took a few moments to realize; he was straddling you. Hips pushed into yours, all his weight rested on your crotch - your crotch, which was now pulsating. To make matters worse, the skirt of your dress had ridden up and most of your plush thighs were now visible to him, and your chest was halfway out of your dress, and your cheeks were flushed and your hair was spread out on the sheets beneath you. Seokmin seemed unsure of where to put his hands, while you both stared at each other, breathing in the thick, heavy silence.

“I’m sorry-”

“It’s okay, I-” 

“I really- I don’t know what-” 

“Don’t worry-” 

You were pulling down your dress again, cheeks literally flaming red and bottom lip caught between your teeth. Silence swallowed you both whole. 

You wanted him back on your hips so bad. It hurt. You were aching in quick pulses, but you couldn’t even look at him. Surely, you thought, surely, he’d seen that look on your face, how your eyes clouded over with lust. Maybe he felt disgusted. 

“I better-” you hiccupped, voice small, “I better go.” 

Seokmin, eyes peeking at you through his lashes, feared he made you uncomfortable.

“Yeah, of course,” he mumbled.

You gathered your things and ran out of there, wetness gushing out of you. You tried to run, tried to create distance, but this time, in your mind’s eye, you ran in place, staying completely still by the cleft separating you and Seokmin. You fiddled with the edge, sand cascading into the empty, endless dark. 

There was no way you could make that jump.

That night you wished Giselle was by your side. You wrote an assignment, trying to ward off the embarrassment that stormed in your brain, when you got a message, that plunged you into rock bottom:

Lee Seokmin: hey you forgot smth at my house lol

Lee Seokmin: *Image Attached*

This was it. You were going to jump off a bridge (or a cleft in a dry, sandy wasteland).

As if your life couldn’t get anymore embarrassing: it was the condom. The white condom with “I ❤️ DILFS” on it. You damned that woman for ever making you bring it. What must he have thought of you? His best friend’s little sister trying to get in his pants? Your cheeks were burning and you threw your head into your pillow and screeched. Your life was over. It had simply ended now. There was no coming back from this. You huffed and removed yourself from its plushness. 

Maybe you could salvage it? Thinking on your feet, you replied:

You: OMG i’m so sorry!!!! i think that’s my roommate’s, she must’ve put it in my bag… :/ 

You: I’ll come pick it up ASAP :(((( 

You stared at your phone at the blatant. It was not a far stretch from the truth, but being caught with your hand in the cookie jar - or maybe more so the I ❤️ DILFS condom in your tote bag - it seemed like an irrationally shitty cover up. 

You gnawed at your lip when the three dots popped up next to his picture, and bit it to pieces waiting for his reply. You almost jumped when your phone buzzed:

Lee Seokmin: hahahahaha

Lee Seokmin: you can come pick it up tomorrow if u want? theres no rush 

You glared at the message. Laughter? Surely he hadn’t bought it. He was just trying to be nice, just trying to avoid you any embarrassment. The thought made you wanna throw up, how he felt this obligation to be nice to you when you had permanently scarred him (were you being dramatic?).

You: ok. im rlly sorry again!! i’ll pick it up tomorrow _____________________________

Tomorrow came much faster than you had hoped. No amount of tossing and turning could slow down the passage of time, and by the time you received Seokmin’s promised “I’m awake”-message, the embarrassment hadn’t faded one bit. 

Every discouraged moment of getting ready was haunted by your current situation, and you stopped to cringe every five seconds, causing an honest and diligent self-hatred to bubble within you. When you knocked on Seokmin’s door, you’d honestly never felt less confident in your life.

“Y/n!” he said enthusiastically. 

“Seokmin,” you said, less enthusiastic. 

He smiled at you sweetly, almost as sympathetically, before stepping aside. You furrowed your brow, not really understanding why he couldn’t just hand it to you at the door, but stepping inside nonetheless. “It’s in my room,” he offered, but could he not just have brought it with him? Did he have to prolong the shame even further? You followed him to his room.

In that moment you hated Seokmin for being who he was; for being sweet, gentle, caring, and gentlemanly. You would feel less pathetic if he yelled at you, if he was genuinely disgusted and wanted nothing to do with you. But there he was all smiling and supportive, and he wasn’t touching you at all, but he still felt like pillars on your back, soothing you and holding you up. 

“It was your roommate’s?” he asked absently as you traversed the halls. “Uh, yeah,” you answered sheepishly. 

“I can tell,” he threw his head back to you, and there was a huge grin on his face. A little bit of hope blossomed in your chest. “Yeah, I saw her at that party, you know? I think she slept with, uh, my friend, Minghao.” 

“That’ll be her,” you were smiling now too, and a huge wave of relief washed over you, as he at least let you believe that he thought it wasn’t your perversion bringing along that condom. 

Finally stumbling into his room, he did indeed pick it up from his desk, handing it back to you. You looked at it in his outstretched hand and blushed sheepishly. “Thanks,” you squeaked. 

Seokmin nodded in response. For a moment the two of you stood, uncertain of what to do and caught in the web of a terribly awkward silence. Seokmin’s eyes darted to the window and yours to the floor. 

“Hey, uh,” he giggled a little, scratching the back of his head. “I feel really bad for losing that Mario Kart game-”

You scoffed in response, but the facade of being peeved was falling apart, as you beamed up at him. 

“Maybe we could do, like, a quick rematch?” 

You shrugged, trying to be nonchalant with an ever-heavy flush in your cheeks: “I don’t back away from a challenge.” 

Seokmin won the rematch. This only spurred on another rematch, and suddenly there was no end to the madness. This time there was no awkwardness, no lingering silences. You were just giggling and strategizing, and throwing heat in the direction of your opponents. 

That uncomfortable, clamoring feeling left you, slowly. It became easy to forget it. That feeling that he was only there with you because of Vernon, that there was always some sort of demand, a twisting hand, forcing him upon you, and that you became a sort of burden on him. That was the thing about Seokmin, though, his ability to make you feel like his best friend; his ability to make him feel like he was there for you, even when he wasn’t.

It was only after an hour and a half or so, when Seokmin paused the game. 

“What the hell, Lee? I was just about to beat you!” you whined, crossing your arms. He nodded along, pushing himself off the bed. “Yes, I agree, which is why I’ve assessed that I need a refreshment.” 

“Oh, you’ve assessed?” 

“Yeah, I’ve assessed that I need a fresh, cooling drink in my gullet.” 

You both laughed a little and slumped back, dropping the controller. Seokmin smiled at you, eyes twinkling. “You want one?” 

“What are you getting?” 

“A beer,” Seokmin said. Rationally, you knew you shouldn’t accept. You were bad with alcohol, and everytime you drank just a little, a little easily became a lot. That was why you took yourself by surprise when your voice left your mouth, chipper and grand: “Sure!” 

One beer turned into another, and Mario Kart turned into talking on his bed, slumped into his fortress of pillows and giggling at his stories. You were a little tipsy, halfway into your second beer and your face was flushed and Seokmin was lying on his side, hand propped up under his head, as he made you laugh again. 

“Your kind of partying sounds… Extreme,” you murmured, rim of the bottle pushed against your lips where your words slightly slurred. Mario Kart and alcohol had gotten you a little out of your shell, and now you and Seomin were talking like friends - as if your brother didn’t even exist. You basked in the alcoholic buzz and in this reality, this hideout, where your lovely brother didn’t exist and the faint ache in your legs at Seokmin’s godly face in the bedside lamp wasn’t so utterly misplaced. 

“I think anything’s more extreme than your partying,” Seokmin mused teasingly. You huffed, putting down your beer and smoothing over your skirt. Everything was so lovely and artificially yellow and his body beside yours radiated pleasant heat. He was beautiful, you thought, looking at how the sweaters pooled on his torso and how his brown hair looked so soft and messy. You almost felt the absence of ground beneath you, when you imagined yourself at the cleft again.

“You don’t know about my kind of partying,” you joked and he chuckled softly. “You’re right, I shouldn’t make assumptions.” 

You looked at him and he was suddenly serious. The smiley, gooey Seokmin was gone and his eyes, although not threatening at all, were prodding at you. Your smile fell. The alcohol at this time felt misplaced and wrong, the lightness felt wrong.

“Were you gonna, you know, go with Jeonghan at the party?” he whispered. The world was suddenly very quiet, as if it were following Seokmin’s tact. You grimaced a little. “No. No, not really.” 

He studied you. You couldn’t bear to meet his eyes, opting to look at your hands in your lap. “Why not?” 

A pause.

You began to pick at your own fingertips, nails digging into the cuticles. Seokmin’s eyes dragged from your face to your hands, and he scooted closer to you, only to cover your hand with his, stopping your movements immediately. Suddenly so close, his voice was whispered right in your ear, so soft and so gentle, it felt like a kiss: “Don’t do that.” 

You sucked in a breath, hands ripping to your sides to lay stiff. “I’m, uh, I’m not that experienced, so I..”

Your eyes flicked up to gauge his reaction. In your worst nightmares, you imagined a laugh breaking onto his face, maybe disgust, but you felt yourself melting. He looked at you so softly, like you were the most precious, fragile thing and his hand had stilled in the air after you pushed it off, as if, like the most enchanting artwork at a museum, he fought desperately not to reach out and touch you. 

It was unbearable - how still the air had become, how heavy you felt, how your chest struggled to expand. You talked again, if only to fill the air with your babbling: “I’ve not had.. I mean, I can hardly get myself off… So. I probably. Couldn’t. Get him off.” 

You realized about halfway through your sentence that you should not have said that. That last half of your sentence was a breathy mess, as your voice became shaky with humiliation. His gaze, a delicate constant, was not helping either. You felt tears welling up in your eyes suddenly and maybe that was the worst part. 

“You have trouble getting yourself off?” he repeated, as if to make sure. “Like masturba-” 

“Yeah, that,” you squeezed your eyes shut. You couldn’t tell if you wanted him to shut up forever, so you’d never have to know his reaction, or if you wanted him to talk and be able to sense how this information changed his perception of you. His voice came, in spite of whatever you had hoped.

“I figured you were a virgin,” he mumbled, voice half muted by the palm of his hand, “but I thought you at least masturbated-” 

“I do!” you defended yourself, voice much louder than his and brows furrowing and tears threatening to spill over your eyes. “I’m just- I’m not that good at it.” 

“Hey,” he said softly, hand landing on your arm. You immediately shut up, lip trembling when you struggled to meet his eyes. “Relax, Y/n. It’s okay. I’m not judging you.” 

You nodded half-heartedly, still incredibly uneasy. 

“If you want…” Seokmin’s voice trailed off. His eyes ventured over your form briefly, licking his lips. “You know, if you want, I could teach you.” 

You looked at him silently. He seemed to snap out of whatever loopy trance he had been sucked into, because he was suddenly very jittery and scrambling through the bedsheets. “Uh, I mean- you don’t- God, I’m sorry- it was only if-” 

“Yes,” you said. His scrambling stilled immediately. His eyes were teacups. 

“You sure?” 

You nodded, not trusting your own voice. 

Seokmin squeezed his eyes shut, gulping as he sat back against the bed. His legs spread apart. “Come here,” he patted his thighs. 

You felt terribly sober. All that buzz and butterflies and blaze and blossom was gone and you felt like a doll, moving each limb individually, as you climbed into his lap, back to him. You were unable to think, unable to truly process what was happening, what it meant, as you felt his form engulf yours.

His hands found purchase on your hips and his breath was warm on your neck, as you felt every ridge of his abdomen on your back. His thumbs rubbed against your hip bone. 

“Okay, now show me how you usually do it,” his voice was a warm hum, a twinge of nervousness laced in it. Your face was lit ablaze and you squirmed in his hold, when one hand left your hip to gently push your legs apart. You sat, all open and held against him, dress keeping you covered.

“It’s embarrassing,” you huffed, being very serious, but Seokmin smiled and nosed your hair gently. 

“We can stop whenever you want, seriously, if you get uncomfortable, we stop” he reassured. 

“It’s just me.” 

It was. It was just Seokmin, your brothers best friend, the sweetest boy in the world, who used to have a swanky bowl cut and dorky school uniform and who was always Vernon’s most respectful friend, but he was hot and whispering into your ear and one hand was massaging the outside of your thigh. 

“Should I take my dress off?” you breathed, face turned halfway back to him. His hands squeezed at you in response and you could faintly make out his tongue sliding over his lips. 

“Only if you want, angel,” he whispered back, rubbing your sides tenderly. “We’re not doing anything you don’t want. Whatever makes you feel good. ‘M just here to help.” 

You nodded, and although the answer was maybe made to make you keep your dress on - a reassurance that there was no need to discard it - you removed yourself from his grasp, hands coming to tug your dress off. You felt a small boost of confidence when you heard Seokmin breathe out: “Shit.” 

Only in your bra and panties (terribly mismatched, your bra was black and your panties were pink), you leaned back into his hold, and you noted how Seokmin’s warm hands were much more careful now, splaying out on your bare skin. 

“Are you comfortable now?” he asked quietly. You nodded. He propped his head up on your shoulder, eyes cast down your almost-nude body, chest rising and falling. Your legs were closed again, he noticed, and his veiny hand reached down to open them again. “Show me how you do it, baby, so I can help you improve.” 

You gummed your lip, breathing in one last time, before your nervous fingers began dancing their way to your panties. They disappeared under the fabric for only a moment, before Seokmin spoke again.

“Sweetheart,” he tutted, hand wrapping around your wrist to stop its track. “Don’t just dive right in, you need to get yourself all hot first.” 

Your brows furrowed and some of the embarrassment you felt from being this exposed and pressed into Seokmin evaporated into genuine confusion.

“What? What do you mean?” you said, somewhat outraged, and Seokmin couldn’t help the laughter blooming in his chest at that. He vibrated against your back, hands smoothing down your arm. You pouted: “Don’t laugh at me, Minnie.” 

He stopped, still smiling as he nosed your temple. “I’m sorry, baby,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to your head, that had your heart beating out of your chest. “You’re just so cute.” 

Cute. You remembered your disdain for that word, but somehow, when it came from his lips, it made you beam. Everywhere he touched left behind a hot, burning ghost on your skin.

“You just have to touch your body, sweetheart,” he said sweetly. You thrashed in defiance, crying out quietly with red cheeks. Wiggling your body angrily, you felt his dick half-hard in his pants against your lower back. 

“Can’t you do it?” you whined, wanting nothing more than for him to take over and make you feel good. He sucked in a harsh breath behind you, fingers wrapping around your hands to soothe you still. He seemed to debate your proposal, but eventually he kissed your shoulder and spoke: “Okay, baby, but you have to show me you understand, alright?” you nodded feverishly. “We’re trying to get you to learn.” 

The whole thing had you dizzy, warm and gooey in his hands, and grounding yourself on his solid torso. You had tunnel vision, unable to focus on anything but his warm hands and sweet voice, and how fucking hard he was. You leaned your head up to look at him pleadingly. Even upside-down he was pretty. He giggled at your starstruck expression.

“Look at my hands, pretty,” he tapped your nose and you scrunched it, turning down to your own body, where he sat his hands on your waist. “You do it like this.” 

His hands started dragging over your skin, creating constellations of ghosts on your skin. One dragged across your stomach and down your leg, squeezing it along the way, and the other brushed over your bra-covered chest, landing on your shoulder and collarbones. Then they moved oppositely, then diverged from their chosen paths, and you started breathing heavily. Pressure built up in your stomach and your panties, and you felt how slick started leaking out of you. 

“Feel good?” Seokmin grinned against your neck, listening to the melody of your panted gasps. You nodded earnestly, moaning softly. Seokmin furrowed his brows at that noise, pressing kisses to your neck appreciatively. “Good girl. Such pretty sounds.” 

Both of Seokmin’s hands dragged up to your ribs. There, they paused. “Can I touch your chest, baby?” 

“Please,” you whimpered, and earned another sloppy kiss to the cheek. His hands immediately grabbed ahold of your chest, softly rubbing it over your bra. 

“Does that feel good?” he whispered. You hesitated for a moment. “Um, I don’t feel much, honestly.” 

You’d expect him to be a little angry or defensive, but Seokmin only hummed and nustled himself into your hair. “Good girl. Good girl, being so honest with me. So pretty.” 

You whined at his praise and Seokmin smiled smugly, taking notice of how heated you got from his words. 

“The- the fabric is in the way..” you whimpered meekly, and Seokmin nodded in understanding, stroking your sides soothingly. 

“You want to take off your bra?” he hummed, truly as if it would not expose you to him, as if it weren’t a lewd and depraved scenario, but something as simple as the weather. You nodded, removing yourself from the harbor of his arms once more to remove it. You unclipped it and threw it God knows where, before settling back into him. Seokmin peeked over your shoulder at your now bare breasts, groaning a little and covering it up with a cough. This was about you. 

Seokmin placed his hands on your tits again, massaging and rubbing the soft skin, before he brushed his thumbs over your hardened nipples.

You moaned - for the first time it was a clear moan, seething from your throat and puffing into the air. “Sound so pretty,” he muttered in your ear. “You really like that, hm?”

He pinched your nipples between his fingers, your back arching into his warm hands. Then, as soon as the pleasure had begun, it stopped, when his hands came to rest on the bed. You whined, twisting your head towards his, only to be stopped by fingers on your chin, turning you back forward. “Show me you can do it now, baby. You’re learning,” he reminded you.

 “But, Minnie, I want your hands,” you whined and he tutted softly in your ear. “I know, baby, but I need to know that you’re understanding this in that pretty little head of yours. Need to know you’re focusing. Come on, show me now.” 

Huffing, you placed your own hands (they somehow felt more foreign than his now) on your stomach and began to mimic his movements. You smoothed them up and down on your body, squeezing, then placed them on your chest, rubbing and pinching your nipples. 

“There you go,” he praised, and his hands had traveled to your shoulders, massaging them gently. You whimpered and turned your head to him again.

“Can you teach me how to touch my…” you trailed off.

“Your pussy?” he offered, as if it was nothing, as if it wasn’t vulgar or lewd. You nodded vigorously. Feeling him gulp a little, his hands became a little unsteady as they came to hold your waist again. “Can I hear you say it? Baby?” he asked and suddenly his voice was a little shaky, a little breathless. 

“Can you touch my pussy now, Minnie?” you asked, and any shame had been clouded over with lust. You’d never been this burningly bothered in your life, you needed him to touch you. He groaned, and this time he was unable to cover it up. You felt how his hard cock strained against his sweatpants, how it pressed into your back, and you wanted to touch it so bad. 

“Alright, baby, want your panties off?” His sharp nose was pressed into your hair. You shook your head. “Want them on.” 

He nodded. “Alright, jus’ tell me if you wanna stop, okay? I’m gonna touch you now.” 

His hand slipped under the waistband of your panties, disappearing under the pink fabric. As if they were always meant to be there, his fingers slipped through your folds, coming down to circle your slit in impossibly light figurations. 

“Shit,” he panted, grip on your waist suddenly bruising, as he tried to steady himself. “You’re so wet, baby, you like Seokminnie that much?” 

“Yeah, I do,” you nodded blindly, your own hands coming to grip onto his thighs. His middle finger danced upwards and pressed against your clit, and you immediately squeaked and shut your legs around his hand. 

“No, no, baby, don’t do that,” he frowned, hand that wasn’t buried in your pussy spreading your legs again. You felt how his legs, pressed against you, came to hook onto yours, forcing your legs apart with his own strength. He hummed in content. 

His finger pressed onto your clit again, and he felt how your legs tensed, straining against his to close. Your back arched and you moaned, eyes squeezed shut. He began rubbing it, and it was so intimate, how close you were to him, how his hand navigated your sopping wet pussy, fingers just rubbing you gently, and how bare you were, his eyes training over your bouncing tits when you thrashed. 

His fingers moved downwards again, gathering the wetness that was gushing out of you. Then, one long middle finger pushed into you. Canting into his hand, you moaned loudly and turned your head into his neck. Nosing the tan skin and inhaling his faint cologne, you began mindlessly kitten-licking the skin. His Adam's apple bopped under your tongue.

“You’re so tight,” he rasped, beginning to slowly push his finger in and out of you. His other hand had come to wrap around your waist in an attempt to calm the sudden bucking of your hips against his hand. 

His hand moved faster, obscene, wet sounds coming from your ruined underwear, where he worked diligently into your pussy. He slipped another finger in, and you cried from the stretch. It was becoming hard to contain you, thrashing and writhing against his hold, stuck between wanting to move closer and to move away entirely. His fingers tied a knot in your stomach.

“That’s right, pretty, tell me how good Minnie’s fingers feel,” he whispered hoarsely above your ear. You could almost only whine and moan, nipping at his neck a little. “Tell me or I’ll stop,” he warned.

“Feels so good!” you whined immediately, because if he stopped now, you figured you might start crying. “Feel so, so, so good, fuck, Seokmin, I’m-” 

“I know, baby, I know, but I’m teaching you, right?” 

Though your mind was fuzzy, you sensed what these words meant and panicked, hand coming down to grip his wrist in an attempt to hold him in place. “Please, please, please, Seokmin, don’t stop, please, don’t stop!” 

“Don’t talk back to me, sweetheart. I won’t stop, just talk to me. Tell me what you feel me doing,” pushing your head up again, Seokmin pressed his face against your cheek, so hard, you felt his humid pants against it. 

Your mind was so hazy, so transfixed on the feeling in your stomach and his finger in your pussy, you could hardly respond. 

“Tell me or I’ll stop, baby,” he reminded you again, and you scrambled frantically to focus. 

“Nngh! You’re- pushing in and out-” your voice broke, hips stuttering against his hand, that was continuing its remorseless pace. 

“Yeah, and?”

You furrowed your brows, lips trembling. “You’re- you’re curling them- A-ah!” 

“That’s right. Such a good girl. So smart and clever for me,” Seokmin whispered happily, his other hand slipping down your stomach to circle your clit. Both his hands working pleasure into your pussy, you cried out loudly, head pushed back into his chest.

“Just let go, baby, I can feel you clenching on me so hard. Wan’ me to stay in your pussy forever, hm? Just let go, cum whenever you want, wanna see your pretty face so bad,” somehow Seokmin was just as intoxicated off of lust as you, despite staying, hard and untouched, in his pants. But he babbled mindless praise to you, and you came to his sweet voice whispering in your ear.

Your orgasm sent you hurdling over the edge - the edge, the one you’d been standing at hopelessly for years. You flew across it and landed on Seokmin’s territory; in his arms. 

“Seokmin, a-ah!” you cried, releasing all over his fingers, coating them in your cum. Your entire body arched upwards, as you moaned into the night. Seokmin rode you through your high, pressing sweet kisses into your hair.

You fell limp against his body, worn out, when he finally retracted his fingers from your pussy. You snuggled into his sweater with a content hum. 

Seokmin smiled down at you, eyes brimming with fondness, as his cum-slicked hands wrapped around your torso in a hug, holding you into him. “You did so well,” he whispered genuinely. 

You looked up at him with a tired smile. “Thank you, Seokmin.” 

He held himself back from saying he would do that a thousand times over, in fact, he wouldn’t mind never pulling out - he could live with only one hand. Instead, he pressed a kiss to your forehead and whispered: “Of course, darling.” 

Your brows furrowed and you pulled yourself away from him a little, eyeing the tent in his pants worriedly. “Do you want me to-” 

“No,” he shook his head decidedly. “No, I’ll take care of it.” 

You looked at him with big, innocent eyes, that only furthered the throbbing of his cock. Partially, he wanted to give in so badly. The thought of your hand around his cock, all pouty and innocent and confused, and how heavy it would be in your small hand, had made him cum more times than he’d like to admit. But, he reminded himself, this was about you. This was a favor. “Are you sure?” you asked softly.

“Yes, baby, go to bed. I’m gonna go get you some fresh clothes.” 

You snuggled into bed while Seokmin scurried away to fetch a shirt and some boxers, and when he came back you cooperated limply in taking off your panties, and putting on what he’d given you. You fell asleep in his bed, cuddling his duvet, and surrounded by his scent. 

Seokmin watched you in adoration. How peaceful you looked, chest rising and falling, and a little pout on your lips. 

He wandered through the house, trying simultaneously to get as far from you as possible, and also trying to decide which of his housemates he currently hated the most. He landed on Jeonghan, slipping into his empty room and settling himself on the bed.

There, he fisted his solid fucking cock and bucked into his own hand, eyes squeezed shut to remember how you looked under his hands, how you begged for him, how well you listened, what a good girl you were for him. His moans were trembling and muffled by his own hand, and when he came, he felt momentarily smug, looking at how it dripped over Jeonghan’s sheets (served him right). Then, post-nut clarity sank in, as he reentered his own room and cuddled into you on the bed. 

He felt almost despicable. He felt gross and evil and perverted and lewd, not because of you, but because, as if it were his first time realizing it, he remembered that you were Vernon’s sister. He remembered that he had promised to protect you from manipulative guys and always watch over you, and help you if you needed help, and report to Vernon if you were acting weird. Yet here he was, letting you cum on his hand and groping your tits, as if he was still that teenage boy with that swanky bowl cut. 

After an hour of chewing on his lips and frowning, Seokmin let your sweet perfume lull him to sleep. He dreamt of you. _____________________________

There’s a blissful instant that morning when you wake up, curled into Seokmin’s arms, head nuzzled in his chest. There’s a blissful instant when you tilt your head, staring at his sleeping face, and he’s so beautiful, features all soft and breathing rhythmically. There’s a blissful instant where you see him, and your heart weeps in your chest because he’s so gorgeous.

Then it’s gone.

A panic button is pressed in your head, and your nerve-endings, each one resting on him, begin burning. What had you done? Yesterday feels like a faraway dream, but he’s still wearing that sweater and it grounds you in the reality of what had happened. 

You’re lost. What did this mean for the two of you? Was Seokmin just lusting after you? But that couldn’t be right, you thought, because he’d insisted on only helping you, refused your offers to help him, which now was making you rot in his arms with guilt. Was this genuinely an attempt to help you? To be diligently by your side at the request of your brother? But surely this had been outside of the realm of what was acceptable to help your best friend’s baby sister with? Did that mean he liked you? 

Seokmin awakened from your sudden squirming, as if, with enough shaking and turning, that feelings and thoughts would just fall out of you. They didn’t, they stayed right where they were, and all you were given in return was Seokmin’s eyes fluttering open. 

You watched him go through that same process; the bliss came first and then the panic. Seokmin’s eyes went from adoring to wide and grave and suddenly he was shuffling away from you on the bed, creating a cool distance between you on the landscape of his mattress. You didn’t miss the pink dusting his cheeks.

“Uh- good morning,” he mumbled, and he could only look at his hands. Your throat was unbelievably dry. “Morning.” 

You’re not sure how you both managed, but you went through that morning without mentioning the previous night even once. The air was thick with tension, fleeting glances, and shaky hands, while Seokmin made you both bowls of oatmeal. You stood on the other side of the counter in his shirt and his boxers. 

You ate in his bed. It was silent and heavy and each clink of spoons against the bowl-rims had you both wincing. He put on a TV-show and you sat across from one another, chewing wordlessly to some drama in the background. Your belly was pooling with tension and light cascaded onto you, revealing your pores and flaws. Were you a bad person?

Finally, finally, Seokmin put down his spoon with yet another clink, fingers catching the bridge of his nose and eyes squeezing shut. He huffed into the palm of his hand, swallowing the oatmeal hard. 

“Uh-” he began and his voice cracked, “Y/n. About last night-” 

But you cut him off, and he couldn’t ever, even in his wildest dreams, have imagined that these words would come out of your mouth:

“I want to return the favor.” 

The words were almost spat and discarded, as if they’d been sitting on the tip of your tongue all morning with a foul taste, and you’d only now been able to rid yourself of it. Seokmin snapped his head towards you, a genuine surprise on his face, but he soon wished he hadn’t looked at all. 

You were so pretty, sitting cross legged in his shirt and a blush creeping up your neck and cheeks all shiny in the morning sun. And there was this innocence to your eyes, big lashes shadowing it only a little; this earnestness that told him you really, really wanted to do this for him.

“I-” he chuckled a little, heart clenching at your sweetness, “I can’t ask you to do that.” 

“Well, it’s good that I’m asking you then,” you said, and though the comment was witty, when Seokmin looked at you again, he saw how careful you looked, and how unsure you were of yourself. 

“Listen, N/n,” he reached out to grab your hand, and it was burning into yours, each area of adjoined skin screaming at you with reminders of last night. “You don’t have to do that. I just wanted to make you feel good, I was happy to just be of service to you-” 

“But I want to make you feel good,” you pouted, almost brattily. Seokmin’s gentle expression and tone faded into something darker, as his eyes flitted down to your exposed legs and your heaving chest. He swallowed, putting away his bowl of oatmeal and collecting himself. 

“Are you sure? You need to be absolutely 100% sure-” 

“I’m sure, Minnie. I want to-” you broke off your own words with a squeak, face becoming bright red. You leaned in self-consciously, as if to tell him a secret: “I want to suck your dick.” 

Your whispered admittance had him groaning, groaning at how sweet and innocent your voice was, how you couldn’t even say it loudly, you had to whisper the dirty word to him. He wanted you so badly, wanted to be the one to take away your innocence, to make you all dirty and beg for him, to make you thrash and whine and to teach you how to really feel good. He wanted you.

It’s like a switch had flipped, when Seokmin put his hand on the back of your head, and suddenly you were kissing again. The tension from before was replaced with something wholly different, something hot, something laced in the eye contact he gave you, before he leaned it again. 

And Seokmin was kissing you with a fervor that you recognized from yourself - you both wanted to forget. Wanted to forget Vernon, who, although a great brother and friend, had become a heavy strain on your relationship with Seokmin. So you kissed him and let his tongue in your mouth when it swiped over your bottom lip, and you sucked on it, and you let him and yourself get lost in each other.

The sound of smacking lips and saliva was so lewd too, especially when Seokmin’s hand pulled you from your spot on the bed and into his lap, hands roaming your body, while you tangled into his hair. He was half-moaning into your mouth by the time he pulled away, face flushed and eyes darker and lower and lips swollen red. 

“You gonna let me use that pretty mouth, baby?” he whispered against your lips, one hand palming over his cock through his boxers. You nodded, almost desperately, one hand reaching out to his in his lap. “Can I touch it?” 

Seokmin smiled fondly, looking down at where your small hand was outstretched towards his cock. “Yeah, baby, go ahead.” 

You were a bit clumsy at first, but soon enough you found its outline in his black boxers and you squeezed it a little. Seokmin crooked over, groaning into your shoulder. You felt him get harder and harder against your palm, a small smile at the desperate noises he was making. 

Seokmin had laid his cheek on your shoulder, neck twisting to stare up at you, while you focused solely on touching him, and he hated himself for getting even harder because it was you - you, who he had wanted for so long, who he was hugged into and lying on, while you touched his warm cock.

“You’re so pretty,” he whispered, breathing heavily, and then smiling brightly when you became all sheepish, smiling and looking away, so that you had to pause your actions. He nosed into your neck, regaining some semblance of control over the situation, now that you weren’t touching him, and his breath was warm and humid on your skin. He pressed small kisses up to your jawline, nose flattening against you.

“So, so pretty. Fuck, imagining you with my cock in your mouth, all drooling and shit. Fuck, baby, you gonna let me fuck your mouth?” he rambled, hands finding home on your tits again. You whined and nodded, trying to pry him off of you. Immediately (forever struggling with a little concern that you might’ve changed your mind) he pulls away, looking up at you worriedly. 

“Don’t- don’t touch me, I don’t wanna get.. All hot,” you whispered those words that he had said last night, biting your lip in worry. “I want to do it now.” 

Seokmin melted completely, and in a complete inability to contain his adoration, brushed hair out of your face and pressed a million kisses to your cheeks and your nose. “Okay,” he said in between kisses, and you felt his smile on your skin, “okay, baby. But if it gets too much, tap my thigh three times, okay? If you need anything, if you feel uncomfortable.” 

“Yes, yes,” you huffed, pushing yourself away from him and hopping onto the floor, sinking to your knees before the bed. 

It felt completely unreal - to both of you. How you were suddenly on your knees and how he settled in front of you, bare, thick thighs on either side of your head. Everything was all light and all the places he’d kissed and touched had become holy and glowing on your body. He shimmed his boxers off and you gaped at the sudden exposure of his dick. 

He was hard. Apparently the kissing and groping had been enough, because it slapped against his sweater, leaking silky white liquid from the tip. And he was big - you didn’t exactly have a good point of reference, but you vaguely sensed from Giselle’s words that this was quite a feat. 

And actually seeing it brought a wave of uncertainty on you, not as to whether or not you wanted to do it, but how. So, you blinked up at him with a small frown, voice small when you spoke: “Seokmin.. How- how do I do it?” 

Seokmin practically glowed with adoration, when he petted your head and rubbed your cheek, seemingly so comfortable despite being totally bare. “You just put your lips around it and suck, baby, it’s easy,” he said softly, then added, a little panicked: “And be mindful of your teeth.” 

“But it’s so big,” you marveled, eyes trained on it, and he almost groaned at it, because you sounded so genuinely amazed, so disbelieving. 

“Just put your hands around the parts you can’t reach. I’ll be gentle, baby, don’t worry,” he said. You nodded hesitantly, leaning forward towards it, but his hand in your hair suddenly clenched and pulled you back. You looked up at him and saw his eyes brimming with worry. “You do want this, right?” 

“Yes, please, stop being so- so gentle with me and let me suck your dick!” You whined, fed up with being treated like glass, and tugged his hand out of your hair. Seokmin visibly relaxed at your insistence, nodding. 

Finally, fingers grabbing the base of it, you wrapped your mouth around the tip. You were met immediately with the taste of his pre-cum, licking over where it leaked curiously. Seokmin’s hand found your hair again, gripping it tight to steady himself, as he groaned loudly. You slowly sank down, basking in the whimpers you ripped from his mouth.

“Fuck- you’re- you’re doing so good, baby,” he cried, face twisted in pleasure and head thrown back. You looked up at him and he was so pretty and glowing, panting into the air. 

You sank down as far as you could, feeling the tip sit snug against the back of your mouth, and your hands wrapped around the base of his dick. You looked up at him, experimentally squeezing, and pursing your lips around his dick to suck it carefully.

“A-ah! Fuck!” Seokmin cried, hand that wasn’t in your hair squeezing the edge of his mattress. His thighs were flexing on either side of your head. “You’re- you’re so good at this, sweetheart. Good girl, fuck, such a pretty girl for me, letting me use you like this.” 

You whined at his words, squeezing your thighs together. Seokmin’s hips bucked upwards at the vibrations, hitting the back of your throat. The sudden intrusion was unexpected and you let out a garbled moan around his cock. He panted regretfully: “S-Sorry, baby, d-didn’t mean to do that, you just feel so good. Can- can you bob your head up and down it for me?” 

You did, started moving your head up and down his shaft, and breathing hard through your nose, while your hands squeezed the base of his cock. Looking up at Seokmin, you felt confidence that you were doing something right. He was in heaven, face all scrunched up and breathing as if he’d just ran a marathon. 

And when he peeked his down to you, he could’ve cum immediately. Your pretty lips wrapped around his cock, head bopping with tears in your eyes from the pressure in your throat, and how curious and sparkling they were, gauging his reaction. The groan that clawed its way up from his heart, through his throat and out into his room quickly turned to a whimper. 

“I’m- I’m gonna cum, sweet pea, can I-” he swallowed hard, because even the thought had him close to release. “Can I cum down your throat, pretty?” 

You nodded, a little too preoccupied to answer, but Seokmin got it, and with just a couple more bobs, and the feeling of your wet tongue pressing against the underside of his cock, he spurted into your mouth in long ropes of white, whining at the top of his lungs, and pulling hair from the roots. 

It was, admittedly, a little gross and sticky in your mouth, but it was also hot and you felt proud you’d made him feel good. He was panting, trying to recover, when you pulled off his dick, a satisfied smile on your face. His hand wandered to your face, caressing your cheekbone, before moving down to your puffy lips. 

“Can I-” he was almost embarrassed, “Can I see baby? Can you open your mouth for me?” 

A little confused, you did as told and opened your mouth, sticking out your tongue that was still covered in his sticky release. 

“Fuck,” he groaned at the sight, squeezing his eyes shut and willing himself not to get hard again. “C-Can you swallow it for me, beautiful?” 

Still confused, you nodded and gulped it down, trying not to look like it felt as gross as it did. If Seokmin noticed, he didn’t remark it, because he only groaned again, and pulled you by your face into a sloppy, heated kiss. 

“So, so, so good for me,” he whispered, not letting you out of the kiss, even when saliva dripped down your chin. “Such a good girl, letting me use her mouth, such an obedient, good girl.” 

You whined into his mouth at those words, bothered by the aching in your core that his moans and his blissed out face had caused, and now those words repeated over and over: Good girl.

He grinned into your mouth. “Yeah? You like being my good girl, right? Like doing your best for Seokminnie?” 

“Yes,” you murmured breathlessly, too lost in the feeling of his mouth and his hands rubbing your waist to come up with anything better.

Seokmin pulled away with a warm smile, both hands coming up to cup your cheeks. “You did well,” was all he said, and you could genuinely cry, because that was it - you just wanted to know you did well. 

“I’m gonna go clean up, okay?” he said, waiting for you to nod in response before he pushed himself off the bed, snatching a new pair of boxers from a drawer on his way out of the door. 

You threw yourself on the bed, closing your eyes contentedly. 

He liked you. You were sure of it now, when you thought back to how his eyes had balked at you so wonderfully, how careful and attentive he’d been. You were certain, and your heart smiled and you smiled and your hair was sprawled out on his sheets and for the first time, that desert wasteland in your head welcomed you and took you in, and you were right where you were supposed to be. 

Until your phone started buzzing. 

It was dancing across the sheets violently at someone's call and you peeked open one eye tiredly to pick it up. And when you did, the desert turned on you. Caught in a sandstorm, you held your phone between your fingers and felt your heart drop, lowered into the acid bath of your stomach.

It was Vernon.

Vernon, who was Seokmin’s best friend. Vernon, who was your brother. Vernon, who had always yelled at you to leave his room whenever he had Seokmin over. Vernon, who didn’t like when you talked to any guys at all, who had recruited his best friend to watch over you and take care of you. Vernon, whose best friend had just had his dick in your mouth. 

You heard the shower running distantly when you clicked accept, hoping to God that you didn’t look too disheveled. 

“Hi, N/n!” Vernon cheered immediately on the other end. His face popped up on your screen, a bright smile on his face. You smiled too - you missed your brother - but it was half faded, and Vernon noticed immediately. 

“Hi, Vern,” you said softly. His brows furrowed. “What’s wrong?” 

Of course, he could read you like a book. Of course, he knew that you were distant and nervous. You sighed heavily, trying desperately to collect yourself, to remember how you usually behaved, but for some reason, that you was far gone, and you had to be splayed on his screen, like a person replaced by something peregrine. 

“I’m a little stressed out,” you mumbled. “Got a lot of papers and stuff, that’s why I’m not home.” 

“Come home next break, okay? We miss you and you need to get out of that place every once in a while.” 

You nodded. 

Vernon’s eyes narrowed suddenly, and you saw him lean closer to the screen (which would have been funny, were you not suddenly wondering if there was leftover cum on your face). “Hey, where are you right now?” 

“My friend,” you said quickly - too quickly. “Her name’s Yunjin, we’re working together in chem.” 

Vernon hummed, seemingly content with your answer. “Your friend has the same bed sheets as Seokmin.” 

Shit, yeah, they facetimed every week, you remembered, cringing at yourself for not thinking of it earlier. You tried to play it cool, shrugging: “Weird.”

“Yeah, anyway-” 

Vernon rambled on and on about something or other, but you were unable to focus, watching the door to Seokmin’s room with a worried frown.

Moreover, you felt like a whore. Realistically, you hadn’t even lost your virginity. But sleeping with your brother’s best friend suddenly felt way more real now that you were talking to said brother, now that you were lying to his face, and you felt dirty and gross and you wished you could stand before Vernon, as the same baby sister that you had been before. But you weren’t. You were disgusting.

“Vernon, I gotta go,” you cut him off, and you hadn’t heard a word. Vernon’s excited expression dropped and he furrowed his brows. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, and you thanked the pixels for concealing at least a bit of the worry on his face. 

“Yeah, I just- I really need to get going,” you said. “Bye, Vernon!”

“By-” 

You disconnected the call and gathered your things, put your own clothes back on. Throwing Seokmin’s clothes onto his floor felt like shedding a second skin - a skin that had made you ugly and greedy and lustful. You only kept his boxers on, lumping the dress over your shoulders to drape over you in an unsightly and unorganized way. 

You spared a glance at the wrapped condom on his bedside table, long lost and forgotten by now. You could leave it. You could leave it and have a reason to come back, a reason to slip across that ledge again and fall into his arms and his mouth and his warmth. You almost did. Almost left it right there, where it begged to belong. But you snatched it off the counter, ignoring the way your heart clenched when you did, and slipped it into your tote bag. And you left, jumping across the border that separated you and back into your own wasteland. And it was so cold and so empty. You were alone again.

Seokmin came out of the shower, expecting to see you cuddled up in his bed, all soft and beautiful. But you weren’t there. Seokmin understood immediately. The condom was gone and so were you, only the perfume in his sheets remained, willing him to remember. And he cried. He sobbed into his own hands, because what had he done? 

You did not see each other the rest of that day. Or the next day. _____________________________

Seokmin wanted to let you disappear. He wanted you to slip away and he wanted to forget it had even happened - like a burning star dies out and leaves only a faint warmth behind, lasting years. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t let you go, couldn’t bear knowing he’d never hold you in his arms again, never see you laugh again, never see you cum again. And he couldn’t bear knowing that maybe he’d read it wrong; maybe he’d made you uncomfortable, maybe you’d felt obligated. 

So he texted you. For two days his texts came in sporadically and unsuccessfully. Questioning and pleading, he wanted to know it wasn’t true. 

Lee Seokmin: why’d you leave? 

Lee Seokmin: can we talk??

Lee Seokmin: i miss u

Lee Seokmin: i need to know i didnt hurt you

Lee Seokmin: can you please answer? 

Each text came more painful than the last. Each text came more pleading. You sat alone in your room, in the dark, having only his one sided chats to light up your tear-streaked face. 

Eventually they stopped coming. You thought they would. You thought, you knew, eventually he’d give up. But what hurt the most was knowing he wanted you too; knowing he liked you as much as you liked him. You’d seen it in his eyes, when his hand slipped between your legs, and you’d seen it when he came staring down at you.

But you preferred to remember Seokmin for how he was.

How he was small and young, how he had a swanky bowlcut and how he looked in his school uniform. How he and your big brother, Vernon, had bonded and watched movies together in your living room, and the countless dinners he’d stayed over for, always so respectful to your parents and you. You preferred to remember when he didn’t love you back. 

The pain that had been tethered to your youth and to him, back when he was unreachable, just a figure you could marvel at, was so much duller compared to this pain, the one pulsed in your heart now: the pain of him loving you back, but still being off-limits. Something that could be, but was destined to die out. And it did, when he stopped texting you, you felt that unborn child’s soul leave your own. Alone again.

And then suddenly, you weren’t. 

A stern knock on your door. You flinched at the sound, fearing the worst. You were in your bed, in your sweatpants and your sweater and that condom was on the bedside table, watching the door with you. 

Another knock.

“Y/n, I know you’re in there!” 

Seokmin. Of course, it was Seokmin. No one else would come for you. But it was all too painful. You feared the worst - feared that seeing him, you would collapse into him again, and that this time you wouldn’t be able to find your way back. 

“Open the door, Y/n,” his voice was serious.

“Go away, Seokmin!” you yelled, voice breaking halfway. 

A pause. When Seokmin spoke again, he was not angry anymore; he was vulnerable.

“Y/n. I-I know you don’t want to talk to me, but-” he paused, wincing at himself and you knew there was tears in his eyes. “But I need to know that I didn’t make you uncomfortable.” 

You thought that you could handle the self-blame Seokmin omitted - maybe that’s just because it was words on a screen. But hearing him crying outside your door, and how real he was when his hand knocked vigorously, it tore down each and every one of your last defenses. 

“I need- I need to hear that you’re okay and that I-” 

“I’m opening the door,” you interrupted him, and sure enough you padded to the door and swiftly unlocked it. 

And then you were standing before one another. It was like time stopped, how the air stilled around you, and how the world quieted down. He was all crumpled paper hearts, all deflated and broken, and his hair was messy and his eyes were dark, but they sparkled again, just at the sight of you, and yours at him. 

“It’s not your fault,” you whispered, breaking the enchantment cast upon you. The real world came crashing down, the people in the streets and birds in the trees and wind coursing through the leaves. The light that you’d shut out with a firm tug to the curtains was dancing on your linoleum floor. “It’s my fault. It’s- I talked to Vernon and I- I feel like shit, Seokmin. I feel like a slut.” 

“You’re a virgin!” Seokmin scoffed, but it did nothing to calm you. 

“It felt wrong! Because I- because you’re Vernon’s friend. Because Vernon never likes when I date guys, and because now I’ve been fooling around with his best friend,” you defended yourself, biting your lip when tears stung your eyes. Seokmin softened. “I just felt guilty. And gross.” 

“You’re not gross, you’re in love,” he said softly, and your eyes locked. Everything about him was pleading - he was just short of literally falling to his knees, begging for you to hear him out. “And- and with me, of all people!” 

“Seokmin-” 

“And I’m in love with you too,” his voice was an urgent whisper, not daring to let you speak again, to let you try and steer him away. 

“Of all people,” you mumbled, a small smile finding your lips. Seokmin smiled too. 

“So.. I’m tired of hearing you talk about yourself like this. I’m tired of Vernon being the one keeping us apart. I want- I want you to know that Vernon would understand.”

You shook your head dismissively. He wouldn’t. 

“I know him too! You know? Maybe better than you,” he pouted a little, and it made you laugh, and everything was becoming lighter, and for better or worse you really did want to jump into his arms again. “He shouldn’t be the thing stopping you from dating me- or- or anyone, really. But especially me.” 

You giggled again, and Seokmin’s heart palpitated in his chest at that sound - and at being the source of it. Then the laughter trailed off and your smile tightened and your heart tightened: “I just don’t want to sneak around-” 

“Okay! Say no more!” Seokmin interrupted, hand held out as if to calm a mighty beast. He casually pulled out his phone, tongue in his cheek, as he called your brother. Vernon.

It rang for a few seconds, put on speaker. You couldn’t help the nervousness. Couldn’t help the pinch in your nerves, building up from your stomach and into your heart. Then he answered. 

“Hey, dude, what’s up?” Vernon’s voice glitched on the other end of the line, utterly oblivious (as always). Seokmin spoke, hand on his hip: “Hey, just curious, how would you feel if me and your sister started dating?” 

There was a moment of silence. On Vernon’s end, you imagined it was simply puzzled, but on your end, you stood with your heart all big and floaty, like a balloon in your hand, waiting for him to say that he’d hate it, that he’d kill him, and pop your heart with a simple word to prick. That wasn’t what he said though. Vernon said:

“I mean, yeah, man, I’d prefer you over any of those other college douchebags. I at least know you’d take care of her for real, man, not like that Jeonghan guy you were going on about.” 

Your heart balloon took off, and the boundary between you and Seokmin filled itself with sand. Had it been imaginary? This whole time? You couldn’t help the wheeze you left you, overwhelmed with relief and joy. 

“I know, man, Jeonghan’s the worst,” Seokmin said casually, but he was grinning from ear to ear at your reaction. You’d buckled over in silent laughter, unable to contain the glee. It seemed to dramatic now 

“The worst,” Vernon repeated. Then he pursed his lips and spoke again: “So you’re dating my sister?” 

“Uh, you know, I think we’re making it official in a second, yeah,” Seokmin said and even Vernon could hear the smile in his voice. 

“Cool, man, yeah, I kind of figured, she facetimed me with your ugly ass bed sheets in the background, and I thought, no way, a girl would buy those bed sheets.” 

“Lay off my sheets, man.” 

Both of the men laughed and you did too, crying laughing and covering your mouth to contain. Your chest was fluttering with butterflies and light and love.

“Hey, man, for real, if you hurt her, I know where you live, bro,” Vernon was suddenly serious. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it, man,” Seokmin responded, equally as serious now. He eyed you, then spoke into the phone again: “Hey, I gotta go make sweet love to your sister.” 

“Ew, dude, don’t say tha-” 

And the phone was hung up and Seokmin was laughing with you, eyes crescent and smile wide and toothy, and cheeks all red and shiny, he doubled over and took your hands in his. “I told you, didn’t I?” 

“Shut up, Lee,” you said, pulling him by the hand and letting him kiss you. Letting yourself kiss him. Letting yourself back into his arms, and this time Seokmin had crossed the border, and had fallen into you, and you stood there together and you were in love. 

So, so in love, your lips entangled and danced together, and your hands dragged up the back of his neck and his up your waist. 

And you realized, his tongue in your mouth, this was how you preferred to remember Seokmin; completely and utterly in love with you, and dancing with you in your room, and smiling into the kiss, and hands running up your body. You preferred to remember him as yours, and yourself as his. 

Seokmin guided you to your bed, pulling your body into his lap. Then he pulled away, completely out of breath, and smiling at you like a twinkling star. 

“Think we can finally break open that condom now?” 

“Fuck yes,” you said.

And then you did.

letters

PAIRING: lee seokmin x reader GENRE: established relationship, fluff WC: 620 WARNINGS: none

When you said you like letters better than flowers, it never crossed your mind that you would receive long paragraphs of text literally every day from Seokmin.

He still gets you flowers every few weeks, freshens up your window, and gives new color to your room. But he loves writing for you. He would spend some time before bed writing in your chat room, telling you everything.

"Did you receive it?" Seokmin asked when both of you meet during the weekend. His eyes shine with expectations that you soon snuff out by looking confused and saying no.

"Oh no..." Seokmin said. his face fell as he realized that you might never get it, that he might have messed it up in the process. After all, it's his first time sending letters through the post office, with stamps and all. Your heart sank when he told you.

"It's fine, don't worry. I remember everything... I'll just write another one and give it to you tomorrow." He reassured.

You went home in the evening, yanking the post box open, and found nothing. Motivated by the letter's content, you went to the post office, talking to the staff, trying to find your missing letter. When one of them digs through the pile of letters, you feel a spark of hope.

You went home immediately after receiving the letter with a golden retriever stamp. In it was the handwriting you recognize well. A two-page handwritten letter that makes your heart tinge with warmth.

I hope this reaches you, the first line read. I can't believe people used to do this back in the day to talk to each other. I don't think I can handle anticipating a reply.

You know, I always love writing letters. Especially for you. However, I find it difficult to put everything into words. But mostly, I find it difficult to explain my feelings when you're around. You make me the happiest in the world, and I love that you always reassure me that I make you feel the same way.

ever since I met you, I think I understand love better. I have more courage to love, because you, my adventurer, deserve the daring love. One that's not afraid to take consequences if it means proving you how loved you are. The good consequences.

But you also deserve the soft love, the pat on the head when days get tough, and the rub on the back when the world gets too cruel. I know just how to fix that with words, and I always love sending them to you because I know you captured them and keep a folder filled with soft words, and good words.

Aside from that, you also deserve guiltless love, the I love yous in the middle of the day just because, the I love yous in between activities because of how easy it was to love you.

And it was easy to love you. If you ever doubted that it was the other way around, I'm telling you; it was easy to love you. It was as easy as breathing, as blinking, as picking up my favorite snack in the convenience store, as reading my favorite book, as singing the lyrics to my favorite songs. by now, loving you is like a muscle memory.

You put the letter in your chest, inhaling sharply as you try to not cry. Seokmin has a way with words, that's for sure, and with him, you don't feel you're saying too much because he would say equally as much. Your world is crowded with his words, words that never stop making you smile.

I love you my star. Don't doubt that for a second.

You would never dare.

a/n. i think i teared up a bit while writing this. bcs as much as this is something he would write, i think i wrote this while thinking of him too. it is, indeed, easy to love him.

Screaming crying omg this was too good y'all 😣

I ❤️ DILFS / GOOD GIRL (18+)

pairing: student!brother's bff!seokmin x student!good girl!reader

genre: college au, brother's best friend au, smut (MDNI), bit of crack, a small bit of angst but not nearly as much as most of my fics

description: when you head out for college, you incidentally end up at the one your bother's best friend has disappeared to 2 years prior. now, seokmin has promised your brother, vernon, to teach you and take care of you while you're away from home. unfortunately, it seems vernon should have been a bit more specific about what exactly seokmin was supposed to be teaching you.

warnings: vernon is ur overprotective brother, seokmin is not a dilf unfortunately, dirty talk, masturbation (male and female), fingering, slight restraint?, praise (f. receiving), pet names (good girl is so overused), teaching, innocence kink, corruption kink, oral (m. receiving), tiddie play, alcohol consumption, a bit of pining, shame on the readers part, she feels a bit like a slut for a moment, kinda brief mention of miscarriage? for like a metaphor lol, jeonghan is hot in this, giselle is ur bff and i almost gave up my mission and made this whole fic ab her shes so hot, ok i think thats it

quotes my creative director (@joshibambi): "just admit u wanna bang son", "o is for orgasm", "the urge to be the younger sibling for once"

wordcount: 15.9k

a/n: the way this fic took me years to write. i hav been busy :( thank u 2 every1 who liked girl code uve made my whole year :D hope u like this one 2!!

You preferred to remember Seokmin for how he was.

How he was small and young, how he had a swanky bowlcut and how he looked in his school uniform. How he and your big brother, Vernon, had bonded and watched movies together in your living room, and the countless dinners he’d stayed over for, always so respectful to your parents and you. He wasn’t your best friend, he was Vernon’s, and yet he made it so easy to feel comfortable, so easy to feel like you were the one he came over for. 

You crushed on him back then, wrote countless diary entries about him and his stupid, beautiful smile. But it had been so forbidden, you remembered feeling that, because of how Vernon had groaned at you to leave every time you peaked your head through the living room door, masking your insistent eyes on Seokmin with simply wanting to “watch a grown up movie”. Sighing, you’d turn back to your princess pink room, and the boundary - the Vernon shaped boundary - that stood between you and Seokmin grew farther.

It had almost been a relief when Seokmin left for college. That was the most terrible thing, the relief you felt while your brother was grieving the sudden separation with his best friend. But your heart simply couldn’t help but let out a long sigh - years of yearning for him when he was so close by. You felt that cool wash of repose when that border between you and him had disappeared from your view. Years of watching it, wondering whether to pad closer or turn away from it, became a distant memory. For two years you were almost a normal girl and a good baby sister. 

Then it was your turn to head off for college. The nearest, big college to you accepted your application and you still distinctly remember dinner with your parents and your brother, how’d they’d cheered and clinked glasses and looked at you adoringly, because you were growing up right before their eyes. Then under the faint light of the restaurant chandelier, your mom had said something that immediately sent you hurdling back to that old, distant boundary: “Maybe you’ll see Seokmin there!” 

How had you forgotten? You supposed in that time you’d let yourself be more taken with the relief. It was the thought that he would be gone that had distracted you from exactly where to. And there you were with all your moving plans and your packed backs, and your glass raised and frozen in the air and your eyes wide. 

Then came the reasoning: surely, you could avoid him? It was a big college, there were plenty of people. There was no logical reason you’d really have to see him. Except for Vernon, of course. Ever so oblivious, your brother had called up Seokmin to tell him the good news, and to tell him to take care of you and protect you. And Seokmin was so sweet, of course, he’d take care of his best friend’s baby sister. 

And there you were at college. All grown up.

In your defense, you had avoided him skillfully. You’d turned down his request to help you with unpacking, turned down his tour of the school (that you’d actually desperately needed - why is room 240 not with all the other 40’s?!), and most of all, you’d turned down every single message inviting you to a party. 

I guess to him that was a perk; partying with the older kids. He knew you after all. He knew that you were a quiet girl and you stayed within your neatly laid brick walls, and he knew you were shy, and he knew you needed help letting loose. He knew you were a good girl. 

Which is why it wasn’t surprising at all that you turned down his offers - wanting to stay focused on school. At least, that’s what you told him. Truth was even being in his vicinity had put you much closer to that boundary you’d never dared cross. You were afraid even just seeing him would send you hurdling back, like a leaf in the wind. So you didn’t go. 

For a while, at least. 

“This is, like, a once in a lifetime opportunity!” Giselle whined and you shook your head adamantly. “Absolutely not.” 

“Well, maybe not for you, but for me!” she argued. “I can’t believe you’re consistently being invited to parties with hot, sexy men, and you’re turning it down because of one guy!” 

You were currently sitting in the library with your roommate, Giselle, and you’d made the unfortunate mistake of telling her about your predicament after receiving yet another invitation to a party tomorrow. Giselle was throwing a temper tantrum because she had never ever had anything as ridiculous. 

You liked Giselle a lot. She was very different from you - she was hot. You weren’t - you were cute. Giselle held boys on leashes and made them do homework for her. She liked partying and sexy, black dresses. You were a fucking nerd, and cute was the highest compliment you had ever received for your looks. Even though you were different, Giselle had immediately taken a liking to you. You had initially feared she would think you were lame, but she was so nice - except for right now.

“Come on, Y/n, there are, like, no cute guys in our year!” she said pleadingly, clasping her hands together and pouting, but you shook your head.

“You don’t understand, Giselle,” you murmured solemnly, trying to regain your focus on the science textbook in front of you. 

“I understand perfectly well,” she said and you eyed her suspiciously. “I understand that you’re a bitch!” 

“Alright, that’s unnecessary,” you said, closing your book. You pinched the bridge of your nose, when she went on. “No, honestly, Y/n. You’re a virgin, right?” 

You snapped your head towards her in shock. Your eyes darted around frantically, before you leaned over the table to whisper to her: “How do you know that?” 

“Don’t embarrass yourself, honey,” she grinned, holding back laughter and you rolled your eyes, sighing. “And what about it, Giselle?” 

“How are you ever gonna get yourself out there if you’re constantly caught up on this guy and trying to keep away your feelings for him? You’ll stay a virgin forever, girl. You need to look him in the eyes and realize you’re above that childish crush!” 

You stayed quiet, slumped in on yourself with your book in your lap. Why was she making sense? 

You’d never thought about it that way. That your infatuation with your brother’s best friend was somehow holding you back from exploring and evolving as a woman. That maybe having him in the back of your mind every time you’d shyly made out with guys in high school, had been the thing that stopped you in your tracks. 

“I can see it on your face, you know I’m right,” Giselle smiled smugly from behind the screen of her laptop. “Unless you’re asexual. In that case, fierce, but if you’re not, like, get out there, queen. Sometimes you need to realize that you have to leave one dick for another dick because the other dick is so good.” 

You furrowed your brows. “Is.. Is this still about me?” 

“No,” Giselle shook her head.

“Okay, yeah, ‘cause- ‘cause that didn’t..”

“Yeah, I know. I was more so, uh, angling-”

“Right-”

“Angling the story to- to my current situation.”

“I get it, yep.” 

There was a moment of silence. You pursed your lips and looked at the message on your phone. Then you started typing.

“Are you telling him you’re coming with your super sexy, hot friend?” 

“Yes.” 

“Y/N, I LOVE YOU.” _____________________________

Regret was a nasty, old demon on your back and it had twisted and tugged at your guts, while you let Giselle get you party-ready. You’d sat on her bed, in her dress, and having her put her makeup on you, you’d sulked and tried to shrug off your back.

“You look so hot when you actually try,” she’d giggled, using a fluffy brush to spread the bake underneath your eyes.

“Thanks,” you’d mumbled, and she’d paused her movements, frowning.

“What’s wrong?” she’d asked, sitting back on her knees. You had sighed, reaching a hand up to run it through your hair, but pausing midway when you realized you would ruin the styling Giselle had worked so hard on. You lowered your hand again.

“I’m not sure about this,” you’d murmured and she frowned genuinely. “Y/n, I meant what I said. I know I talk a lot about boys and stuff, but you really shouldn’t let yourself be held back by him!” 

Before you could speak again, Giselle had tugged you off the floor to stand in front of her mirror. 

“Look at you,” she’d cooed, clapping your shoulders. “You look so pretty!” 

You’d smiled a little shyly, looking at your form in the mirror abashedly. You were pretty. Not cute, not nerdy; pretty. Curves hugged tight by a sleek, black dress from Giselle’s closet, this was a version of you that could actually see having sex - seducing men, gaining from her looks.

“I guess you’re right,” you’d said sheepishly, and Giselle had smiled sincerely and you’d let her take you to the party down the streets in a nearby frat house, and you’d almost not wavered when you stood right in front of it, music blasting out of every crevice. 

But then you were inside and he was right there. For the first time in two years, he was there, and he was so hot. He was wearing a white tee and a fucking silver chain, and, God, when did he start working out, because his arms were so big and so toned. And his hair was fluffy and dark brown, and his face was slim, and the tops of his cheekbones were shining under the kitchen lamp, where he was talking to some other guy, arm flexed, as he leaned against it on the counter. 

If there was one thing about Seokmin that had stayed the same it was that smile. He wore it now, laughing, as he talked to some blonde guy about something, and you wanted to scream because, there it was. The boundary, the ledge, the line, whatever, it was right before you again, right there with him. And all the feelings that came with it, your heart, wet and red in your throat, a brew of anxiety in your stomach. 

Without sparing even a second, you’d clasped onto Giselle’s wrist, tugging her into a herd of anonymous people, and just walking. Walking, walking, pulling her along (she countered only with a “hey!”) only for you to hit a wall or something, just as long as you were far, far away from him. 

“What the hell?” she said, when you finally stopped walking because you’d entered the living room, which was apparently more exclusive, as only a few people populated it, including a couple that was making out on the far end of the couch. 

“He was there,” you gasped dramatically, as if you’d seen a ghost. “I-I can’t do this, Giselle.” 

“Relax, babe, it’ll be fine. You’re away from him now, aren’t you?” Although she was trying to be supportive, you could tell she was growing a little tired of your theatrics. You couldn’t care less though, you were panting, and peering over her shoulder to see if he was somehow coming towards; and, God forbid, smile at you with that angel grin. 

Giselle followed your gaze and sighed, brows furrowing. “How about I get us some drinks? Then you can let loose a little.” 

You nodded absently, following her lead when she pulled you to sit down on the couch. You clambered to the couch rest, when she walked away, swaying her hips to the music. 

You might’ve looked different, but you were still you. The entire scene had you uncomfortable, and you were still the shy, unconfident and nerdy girl. You cursed yourself for letting Giselle’s reassurances fool you - you would never be this type of person, and you would surely never get over Seokmin. She’d been wrong about everything. 

“You okay, darling?” 

You jumped at the voice, eyes darting up to see who it was. 

You didn’t know him. He was handsome, though, but you’re not even sure you’d call it that. He was pretty, and he had long, black hair and big eyes and he was giving you this teasing smile, that was doing nothing to ease your nerves.

“I’m good,” you squeaked, gaze moving to a nearby pair of shoes in the corner of the room. You heard him chuckle, before he dropped into a squat before you. One lean hand came up to your knee, giving it a squeeze. “You just look so nervous, pretty,” he sat down an anonymous cup of liquor. “I don’t think I know you. Can you tell me your name?” 

The hand on your knee burned into you, thumb brushing back and forth over the skin and he was looking at you so intently, it had you sputtering. “Uhm, uh, Y/n.” 

His thumb froze. You looked over at him curiously to find this dumbfounded expression on his face, devious grin spreading on his pretty features. He chuckled and cleared his throat, face dropping down before he moved it back to look at you again. 

“You’re the girl Seokmin’s always inviting over here?” 

You nodded shyly and he smiled at you. “I’m Jeonghan.” 

“Hi.”

A pause. Jeonghan squeezed your thigh, watching in delight at the way you screwed your eyes shut. 

“You know, I just didn’t expect you to look like this,” he said finally and, sensing your confusion, he teasingly added: “The girl who’s always turning down parties to study.” 

You blush deepened, cheeks furiously rosy, as you fiddled with your fingers in your lap. “I borrowed my friend's clothes,” you breathed, pursing your lips. “Ah!” Jeonghan gently patted the top of your thigh, nodding along exaggeratedly, “You borrowed your friend’s clothes! I see!” 

He studied you while you giggled at his antics, still refusing to look him in the eye, really. He was almost suffocating, his hand on your thigh and his eyes boring into your face, and his cologne in a constant stream in and out of your nostrils. But suffocation, you decided, was almost better than being around Seokmin and having him parade his kind heart and his thick arms and his sweet smile, and just how off-limits he was. 

Ripping you from your thoughts, Jeonghan stood up, placing both hands on the tops of your thighs and bending down to your face, so his nose was buried in your cheek.

“Look at me, darling,” he whispered, then pulled his face away from yours, just enough so you could gaze into his brown eyes. His hands were much higher now, squeezing hard at the plush of your thighs, dangerously close to your center and only separated by the thin fabric of Giselle’s dress. 

“There she is,” Jeonghan smiled, voice a whisper. His lashes came over his eyes, when they flitted down to your lips. “Don’t you wanna come with me upstairs, and I can make you feel really, really goo-”

“JEONGHAN! GET OFF OF HER, THAT IS MY BEST FRIEND’S BABY SISTER!”

There’s a voice you know.

From across the room, Seokmin had burst through the mass of people, now power-posing with an extended finger in the direction of where Jeonghan was tilting over you, rubbing your thighs, as you sat innocently before him. 

Jeonghan stood up, taking all of his heat and his suffocation and cologne with him, groaning and throwing his head back. “Seokmin!” he whined and he was suddenly no longer so suave and seductive. 

“No, I won’t hear it, Jeonghan,” Seokmin said and, as much as you knew Seokmin to be sweet and tender and lovely, there was this crystal-clear anger in his voice. He walked over, one large hand pushing at Jeonghan. “Go get any other girl and sleep with her, just not her. Get your sorry ass out of here.” 

Apparently Jeonghan sensed the same thing you did - a rare anger in Seokmin - because he didn’t put up much of a fight at all, only smiled at you apologetically (and then, when he was behind Seokmin, gave you a small, devious wink - he just couldn’t help himself). 

You couldn’t focus much on Jeonghan at all though. Because Seokmin was standing in front of you, all muscle and huge fucking thighs by your head, and when you dared to tilt your gaze up to him, you saw how all that anger simply melted away. 

“Hey,” he breathed, smiling softly.

“Hey.” 

Then his eyes darkened, if only for a moment, as they traveled over your figure, gift-wrapped in that tight, black dress. His jaw clenched and he looked around for a moment. When he looked at you once more, he was giving you that smile - the one you’d fallen in love with - and the chocolate in his eyes was melting.

“Come on,” he ushered gently, one hand carefully guiding you off the couch. “Let’s go to my room where there aren’t any scary, evil, mean men.” 

Despite being so on edge, so jittery, as you followed him up some distant staircase, you couldn’t help but laugh at those words. He was talking exactly like he had when you were kids. That was how you preferred to remember him; all small and young and with a swanky bowl cut, and he’s the exact same way with you, hand warm in yours, as he guides you through the house. 

“Why’re you laughing?” he smiled, and you suppressed your own, trying not to dwell too much on how fast your heart was beating. “It’s just like before,” you quipped and Seokmin’s hand squeezed yours in understanding. 

He lumbered down the hallway and at its very end, preceded by rows of white oak doors, he opened his own with a twist and a turn of the brass-blend knob. When he closed it, the party became muffled around you, as if his room was filled with water, and now the rest of the world was a garbled mess, and you were drowning.

His room was clean. You supposed Seokmin had never been the messy type - not even when infected by the influence of Vernon. He had a half-open closet, where you spotted folded clothes, and a circle rug and purple and green lava-lamp plugged in on his nightstand. 

Seokmin apparently did not think it was clean enough, because he swooped down gallantly to grab a tossed sweater, smiling at you sheepishly when he held in between his fingers. You stared at him.

You felt like a kid again. Felt like just a young girl, creeping through the crack in the living room door, and looking at his silhouette, outlined by some grotesque horror movie playing on the TV. His sharp nose, when he turned to Vernon and laughed, his hair, all poofed and tousled and scruffy, and his smile. 

And you’d let yourself fall into this trap, maybe to some extent you’d even wanted it. Because now he was right in front of you, and so was that damned barrier, right by your outstretched fingertips, and you could almost envision yourself climbing over it - climbing into his lap and-

“I didn’t think you’d ever come,” Seokmin said gently, a permanent, small smile frozen on his lips. You coughed, unready. “Uh, yeah, my friend- my friend thought I should try and.. You know, get myself out there.” 

Seokmin studied you, bemused and fond, fiddling with the baby blue sweater in his hands. You were looking back cautiously, as if assessing a threat, but the threat was the sweetest, kindest boy in the whole wide world. 

“Yeah, well,” he cleared his throat suddenly, ripping his gaze from you to fold the sweater onto his desk chair. “I’m sorry about Jeonghan, he’s.. You shouldn’t, uh..” Now neatly folded, you saw him rubbing the sweater between his fingers. “You should stay away from him.” 

“Why?” you asked, and it was genuine enough that Seokmin let out a sigh. 

“You’re too much of a good girl to be with him. He’s no good.”

A whimper clawed its way up your throat, bubbled from the depths of your belly, but you tamed it and settled on a light hum. You felt your underwear becoming a little sticky, and you wanted to die, because God, this was your brother’s best friend. They still facetimed every Tuesday and still played Fortnite together over Discord every Saturday. 

“College going good?” Seokmin asked, retreating from the sweater to sit down on his bed. He looked up at you brightly and patted the spot next to him. It felt like another trap, where the folds in the blanket curved down under his weight, and would eventually lead you into him. You sat down hesitantly. 

“It’s okay,” you breathed, folding your hands and in your lap and tensing your shoulders. Seokmin, fully relaxed and slumped, noted your posture and slid his hand over the exposed skin of your back. “Hey,” he whispered, so intimate it hurt your heart, “hey, hey, relax, Y/n. It’s just me.” 

His eyes were soft and full of concern when he spoke quietly again, his voice almost a backdrop to the muffled sounds of dancing college students: “You know, Vernon was really concerned about how you would do away from home.” 

“I’m not doing bad!” you said quickly, dismissing it immediately. Seokmin stared at you. “I just- this isn’t really my scene.” 

His hand felt searing hot on your back, where it slid up and down, almost coaxing you further into him. He hummed. “Yeah, I didn’t think so.” 

Then: “I’m sorry if I made you feel like you had to come. Just figured you might want that street cred of being friends with the upperclassmen.”

You snorted and, cheeks rosy as ever, started giggling, eyes still cemented to the floor. Your hair was falling gently over your face, wisps of baby hair tickling your forehead. 

“It’s okay,” you sighed away the laughter, “You were just trying to get me out of my shell. I appreciate it.” 

Seokmin smiled at that. His hand dropped from your back and you both stared into the expanse of his room. A small window to let in the rain, the moonlight separated by the grid, and the curtain blowing in a solemn breeze. You and Seokmin sat, both very small suddenly, like kids, on the edge of the bed and became speckled in starlight, in diamond-dust. 

Then Seokmin was doing it. He was letting you be comfortable, letting you slip into a dazed joy, intoxicated from his presence. He was asking about your teachers, exams, friends, experiences, and you were both laughing together, and once again you were forgetting that Seokmin was your brother’s best friend, and he was not with you for you, but he was simply talking to you out of courtesy to your brother. He let you forget.

“You going home for the break?” he asked then, room quieted down from all the laughter. The fall break, starting tomorrow, you remembered. You’d thought about going home, but had opted to text your parents that you were staying, wanting honestly to stay in your dorm room and work on assignments and organization and just lull in bed, instead of being taken up, down and everywhere in your hometown. You shook your head. 

“Really? Me neither,” he said, brows raised. “Won’t you get lonely?” 

You giggled shyly. “Maybe a little.” 

“We could hang out,” he breathed, and at that you tasted the boundary between you, felt it firm under your fingertips, because you couldn’t discern whether he was protecting his friend’s baby sister or if he actually liked talking to you, and your heart beat and yearned and hoped for the latter. 

“Yeah, okay,” you nodded, melting when you saw his smile reach his eyes. 

“Didn’t you always like, uh, Mario Kart? You always wanted to play with me and Vern,” Seokmin said, but he was looking distantly into the window. You almost wanted to cry because he remembered you, remembered things that you liked. “I got it on my Playstation, we can play tomorrow.” 

“I’d like that,” you said.

Then Seokmin was loaning you his hoodie, and, bathed in his warm, tender smell, he followed you home under the moon, glaring at Jeonghan on his way out. 

“Keep the hoodie,” he’d said, smiling sheepishly when you stood in front of your dorm door. “It’s cute.” 

He patted your head and left, thankfully before he could see how red your face was, and how you were absolutely about to blow up from unfiltered joy. You shuffled into your dorm room and tried to soothe the basking butterflies in your stomach and your burning heart. 

Was he standing right across from you on that line, waiting to cross? _____________________________

Giselle woke up just early enough to catch you switching between different button-up dresses, throwing one on, looking in the mirror, and deciding to try another. She was groggy and tired and somewhat hungover, and needed to catch a train, so she could get back home. 

“What are you doing?” she cried, rubbing her eyes. You scurried back and forth trying on another dress, considering white tights, then white socks, then adjusting the tone and volume of your blush.

“I’m-” you gasped in between your hard labor, “I’m seeing a boy!” 

This caught Giselle’s attention. She shot straight up in her bed and looked at you with huge eyes. “No way!”

“Yeah way!” you giggled deviously. You turned around to face her. “What do you think of this outfit?” 

“You look cute!” Giselle praised, nodding to your red strawberry dress and your knee-highs. You slumped. There it was again - cute. Not hot, not pretty, but cute. That was what you were; like a child, like the kid Seokmin knew years ago, like his best friend’s baby sister. Nothing more.

“Who is this mystery guy?” Apparently Giselle was too busy rubbing sleep out of her eyes to see how her compliment had deflated you.

“It’s Seokmin. My-”

“Your brother’s best friend?!” She gasped. It was one shock after another from you that morning. “I wanna say I’m disappointed in you, but.. If you pull this off you’re way freakier than me.” 

“We’re not gonna have sex!” you groaned, pouting as you hastily shoved on your shoes. “We’re gonna play Mario Kart.” 

“Right, this cute guy just invited you over for Mario Kart and nothing else, I get it,” Giselle said sarcastically. 

“You don’t know him,” you mumbled defensively, shoes on and now staring at yourself in the mirror once more. “Cute,” the mirror spat at you.

“All men are the same,” Giselle rolled her eyes and threw herself back on the bed. You snorted and began to walk out the door.

“Y/n, wait!” 

“Hm?” 

Halfway out the door, a tote bag slung over your shoulder and ready to step into the sunlight, you peered back into the room. Giselle, in her sweats and hair fussed, stumbled blindly towards the door. She reached into her pocket and produced a-

“A condom?!” you shrieked, outraged. And not just any condom: a condom in white packaging with the lettering “I ❤️ DILFS”. You truly did not understand how Giselle managed to be a caricature of herself time after time.

“You need to wear protection, he’s in a frat, right?” she shrugged. You glared at her. “I’m not bringing a condom.” 

“Alright, I guess,-” Giselle pretended to think, “I guess, you’ll just have to get chlamydia.” 

You stared at her for a moment, bristling. Then you snatched it out of her outstretched hand.

“You’re unbelievable.” 

“You’re a prude.” 

“Goodbye, Giselle!” 

The condom slipped into your tote with ease to lay snug with all your other items and then you were out the door and heading towards Seokmin’s frat house. The sun was dulled by a few clouds, but it was still shining. Leaves were turning brown and red and yellow and were falling from trees to crunch underfoot - everything was lovely.

But the expanse, in your head, was much different. In your head you were traveling the soft dunes of a desert, spotting in the brown and red and yellow horizon a cleft in the sand. When you reached it, wide and long, seemingly endless to each side of you, you were standing right in front of Seokmin’s house.

You weren’t sure how long you stood there, knuckles white where you grasped your tote, and eyes big and heart pounding. What if Giselle was right? Did you want her to be right? Would you even be able to please him if she was? Half-heartedly you tried to push away the images of Seokmin pushing into you, arms flexing on either side of your head, that spawned alongside the thought. Maybe you straddling him, his hands on your ass, his head buried in your chest, or-

“Y/N!” 

You jumped, clutching your bag tight, when you snapped your head up to the voice. It was Seokmin and he was waving at you from his upstairs-window, smiling so brightly you swore the sun reflected off of his teeth. 

“What are you standing there for, come inside! Door’s unlocked!” he yelled, body disappearing in the window. You stared at the window for a moment, his presence now absent, before you nodded to yourself in reassurance. You could do this, right? Just Mario Kart and small talk.

Truth was, you couldn’t do this. Not even in the slightest. You and Seokmin sat cross-legged on his bed, TV on the wall before it, drinking soda and crunching on chips. Seokmin was drenched in a green, fuzzy sweater, collarbones peeking over the rounded neck, and fingers peeking through the sleeves, where he held his controller, and God forbid, his hair was all soft and fluffy, and he was wearing fucking puppy socks. 

And he was competitive, too. He was leaned forward, eyes narrowed as he sped through the course. You huffed when he blue-shelled you, and you tried to refocus.

“I thought you said you were good?” he teased, eyes leaving the screen for only a second to look at you - you, dress bunched up to your thighs and tongue peeking through your pretty, subtly red lips. A second was all that was necessary. 

Suddenly, his character (baby Daisy) swerved off-course, falling into the pit below and he screeched, seemingly genuinely sad, as your character (Toadette) overtook him, the little gold badge popping up in the corner to tell you that you were number one. 

“What were you saying?” you giggled cockily when you finished the last round, Seokmin unable to quite catch up to you in the last stretch. He threw himself back on the bed in defeat, groaning into his hand.

“I can’t believe I let you win,” he cried.

“Let me?” you repeated in disbelief. You scoffed and put down the controller, pretending that Seokmin lying all angelic on his bed sheets wasn’t making your stomach pinch with static. “Pretty sure that was just pure skill on my part. Don’t blame me because you’re bad at Mario Kart.” 

A blow to his talents in Mario Kart was a blow to him. He snapped his head up to look at you, playfully angry. “Oh, oh wow, really? I’m bad at Mario Kart now?” 

“Mhm,” you hummed, smiling cheekily at him. Seokmin studied you for a moment, before he shuffled into a sitting position. His gaze almost made you shy. Did he want to kiss you as much as you wanted to kiss him?

Seokmin shuffled closer to you and you almost stopped breathing: “Don’t I remember you being ticklish?” 

You were almost so caught up in your fantasy to realize what he said. Your eyes widened in realization and you most immediately tried to twist your body away: a punishment was upon you.

“No- NO!-” You cried out but it was too late. Seokmin wrestled his body into yours, fingers dancing and prodding into your sides. Drowning in laughter, your face twisted into tortured pleasure, as you tried to bat his hands away. Your attempts were futile - each time you shuffled away, he followed right with you, fingers unrelenting as your torso twisted and turned. 

"Hehehehehehe- NO, PLEASE!- hehehehehehe!” 

Your knees pushed with all their might and you were almost able to drag yourself to the edge of the bed. There, you could gain distance and talk him down from beyond his desk. But Seokmin was smart. He sensed your escape plan when you squirmed away, and without much thought, he pulled his body on top of yours, weight pinning you down. 

You were still giggling and squirming, when his fingers finally let up. You were both panting from the excitement, Seokmin smiling down at you adoringly. Then, both of your smiles dropped.

It was like it took a few moments to realize; he was straddling you. Hips pushed into yours, all his weight rested on your crotch - your crotch, which was now pulsating. To make matters worse, the skirt of your dress had ridden up and most of your plush thighs were now visible to him, and your chest was halfway out of your dress, and your cheeks were flushed and your hair was spread out on the sheets beneath you. Seokmin seemed unsure of where to put his hands, while you both stared at each other, breathing in the thick, heavy silence.

“I’m sorry-”

“It’s okay, I-” 

“I really- I don’t know what-” 

“Don’t worry-” 

You were pulling down your dress again, cheeks literally flaming red and bottom lip caught between your teeth. Silence swallowed you both whole. 

You wanted him back on your hips so bad. It hurt. You were aching in quick pulses, but you couldn’t even look at him. Surely, you thought, surely, he’d seen that look on your face, how your eyes clouded over with lust. Maybe he felt disgusted. 

“I better-” you hiccupped, voice small, “I better go.” 

Seokmin, eyes peeking at you through his lashes, feared he made you uncomfortable.

“Yeah, of course,” he mumbled.

You gathered your things and ran out of there, wetness gushing out of you. You tried to run, tried to create distance, but this time, in your mind’s eye, you ran in place, staying completely still by the cleft separating you and Seokmin. You fiddled with the edge, sand cascading into the empty, endless dark. 

There was no way you could make that jump.

That night you wished Giselle was by your side. You wrote an assignment, trying to ward off the embarrassment that stormed in your brain, when you got a message, that plunged you into rock bottom:

Lee Seokmin: hey you forgot smth at my house lol

Lee Seokmin: *Image Attached*

This was it. You were going to jump off a bridge (or a cleft in a dry, sandy wasteland).

As if your life couldn’t get anymore embarrassing: it was the condom. The white condom with “I ❤️ DILFS” on it. You damned that woman for ever making you bring it. What must he have thought of you? His best friend’s little sister trying to get in his pants? Your cheeks were burning and you threw your head into your pillow and screeched. Your life was over. It had simply ended now. There was no coming back from this. You huffed and removed yourself from its plushness. 

Maybe you could salvage it? Thinking on your feet, you replied:

You: OMG i’m so sorry!!!! i think that’s my roommate’s, she must’ve put it in my bag… :/ 

You: I’ll come pick it up ASAP :(((( 

You stared at your phone at the blatant. It was not a far stretch from the truth, but being caught with your hand in the cookie jar - or maybe more so the I ❤️ DILFS condom in your tote bag - it seemed like an irrationally shitty cover up. 

You gnawed at your lip when the three dots popped up next to his picture, and bit it to pieces waiting for his reply. You almost jumped when your phone buzzed:

Lee Seokmin: hahahahaha

Lee Seokmin: you can come pick it up tomorrow if u want? theres no rush 

You glared at the message. Laughter? Surely he hadn’t bought it. He was just trying to be nice, just trying to avoid you any embarrassment. The thought made you wanna throw up, how he felt this obligation to be nice to you when you had permanently scarred him (were you being dramatic?).

You: ok. im rlly sorry again!! i’ll pick it up tomorrow _____________________________

Tomorrow came much faster than you had hoped. No amount of tossing and turning could slow down the passage of time, and by the time you received Seokmin’s promised “I’m awake”-message, the embarrassment hadn’t faded one bit. 

Every discouraged moment of getting ready was haunted by your current situation, and you stopped to cringe every five seconds, causing an honest and diligent self-hatred to bubble within you. When you knocked on Seokmin’s door, you’d honestly never felt less confident in your life.

“Y/n!” he said enthusiastically. 

“Seokmin,” you said, less enthusiastic. 

He smiled at you sweetly, almost as sympathetically, before stepping aside. You furrowed your brow, not really understanding why he couldn’t just hand it to you at the door, but stepping inside nonetheless. “It’s in my room,” he offered, but could he not just have brought it with him? Did he have to prolong the shame even further? You followed him to his room.

In that moment you hated Seokmin for being who he was; for being sweet, gentle, caring, and gentlemanly. You would feel less pathetic if he yelled at you, if he was genuinely disgusted and wanted nothing to do with you. But there he was all smiling and supportive, and he wasn’t touching you at all, but he still felt like pillars on your back, soothing you and holding you up. 

“It was your roommate’s?” he asked absently as you traversed the halls. “Uh, yeah,” you answered sheepishly. 

“I can tell,” he threw his head back to you, and there was a huge grin on his face. A little bit of hope blossomed in your chest. “Yeah, I saw her at that party, you know? I think she slept with, uh, my friend, Minghao.” 

“That’ll be her,” you were smiling now too, and a huge wave of relief washed over you, as he at least let you believe that he thought it wasn’t your perversion bringing along that condom. 

Finally stumbling into his room, he did indeed pick it up from his desk, handing it back to you. You looked at it in his outstretched hand and blushed sheepishly. “Thanks,” you squeaked. 

Seokmin nodded in response. For a moment the two of you stood, uncertain of what to do and caught in the web of a terribly awkward silence. Seokmin’s eyes darted to the window and yours to the floor. 

“Hey, uh,” he giggled a little, scratching the back of his head. “I feel really bad for losing that Mario Kart game-”

You scoffed in response, but the facade of being peeved was falling apart, as you beamed up at him. 

“Maybe we could do, like, a quick rematch?” 

You shrugged, trying to be nonchalant with an ever-heavy flush in your cheeks: “I don’t back away from a challenge.” 

Seokmin won the rematch. This only spurred on another rematch, and suddenly there was no end to the madness. This time there was no awkwardness, no lingering silences. You were just giggling and strategizing, and throwing heat in the direction of your opponents. 

That uncomfortable, clamoring feeling left you, slowly. It became easy to forget it. That feeling that he was only there with you because of Vernon, that there was always some sort of demand, a twisting hand, forcing him upon you, and that you became a sort of burden on him. That was the thing about Seokmin, though, his ability to make you feel like his best friend; his ability to make him feel like he was there for you, even when he wasn’t.

It was only after an hour and a half or so, when Seokmin paused the game. 

“What the hell, Lee? I was just about to beat you!” you whined, crossing your arms. He nodded along, pushing himself off the bed. “Yes, I agree, which is why I’ve assessed that I need a refreshment.” 

“Oh, you’ve assessed?” 

“Yeah, I’ve assessed that I need a fresh, cooling drink in my gullet.” 

You both laughed a little and slumped back, dropping the controller. Seokmin smiled at you, eyes twinkling. “You want one?” 

“What are you getting?” 

“A beer,” Seokmin said. Rationally, you knew you shouldn’t accept. You were bad with alcohol, and everytime you drank just a little, a little easily became a lot. That was why you took yourself by surprise when your voice left your mouth, chipper and grand: “Sure!” 

One beer turned into another, and Mario Kart turned into talking on his bed, slumped into his fortress of pillows and giggling at his stories. You were a little tipsy, halfway into your second beer and your face was flushed and Seokmin was lying on his side, hand propped up under his head, as he made you laugh again. 

“Your kind of partying sounds… Extreme,” you murmured, rim of the bottle pushed against your lips where your words slightly slurred. Mario Kart and alcohol had gotten you a little out of your shell, and now you and Seomin were talking like friends - as if your brother didn’t even exist. You basked in the alcoholic buzz and in this reality, this hideout, where your lovely brother didn’t exist and the faint ache in your legs at Seokmin’s godly face in the bedside lamp wasn’t so utterly misplaced. 

“I think anything’s more extreme than your partying,” Seokmin mused teasingly. You huffed, putting down your beer and smoothing over your skirt. Everything was so lovely and artificially yellow and his body beside yours radiated pleasant heat. He was beautiful, you thought, looking at how the sweaters pooled on his torso and how his brown hair looked so soft and messy. You almost felt the absence of ground beneath you, when you imagined yourself at the cleft again.

“You don’t know about my kind of partying,” you joked and he chuckled softly. “You’re right, I shouldn’t make assumptions.” 

You looked at him and he was suddenly serious. The smiley, gooey Seokmin was gone and his eyes, although not threatening at all, were prodding at you. Your smile fell. The alcohol at this time felt misplaced and wrong, the lightness felt wrong.

“Were you gonna, you know, go with Jeonghan at the party?” he whispered. The world was suddenly very quiet, as if it were following Seokmin’s tact. You grimaced a little. “No. No, not really.” 

He studied you. You couldn’t bear to meet his eyes, opting to look at your hands in your lap. “Why not?” 

A pause.

You began to pick at your own fingertips, nails digging into the cuticles. Seokmin’s eyes dragged from your face to your hands, and he scooted closer to you, only to cover your hand with his, stopping your movements immediately. Suddenly so close, his voice was whispered right in your ear, so soft and so gentle, it felt like a kiss: “Don’t do that.” 

You sucked in a breath, hands ripping to your sides to lay stiff. “I’m, uh, I’m not that experienced, so I..”

Your eyes flicked up to gauge his reaction. In your worst nightmares, you imagined a laugh breaking onto his face, maybe disgust, but you felt yourself melting. He looked at you so softly, like you were the most precious, fragile thing and his hand had stilled in the air after you pushed it off, as if, like the most enchanting artwork at a museum, he fought desperately not to reach out and touch you. 

It was unbearable - how still the air had become, how heavy you felt, how your chest struggled to expand. You talked again, if only to fill the air with your babbling: “I’ve not had.. I mean, I can hardly get myself off… So. I probably. Couldn’t. Get him off.” 

You realized about halfway through your sentence that you should not have said that. That last half of your sentence was a breathy mess, as your voice became shaky with humiliation. His gaze, a delicate constant, was not helping either. You felt tears welling up in your eyes suddenly and maybe that was the worst part. 

“You have trouble getting yourself off?” he repeated, as if to make sure. “Like masturba-” 

“Yeah, that,” you squeezed your eyes shut. You couldn’t tell if you wanted him to shut up forever, so you’d never have to know his reaction, or if you wanted him to talk and be able to sense how this information changed his perception of you. His voice came, in spite of whatever you had hoped.

“I figured you were a virgin,” he mumbled, voice half muted by the palm of his hand, “but I thought you at least masturbated-” 

“I do!” you defended yourself, voice much louder than his and brows furrowing and tears threatening to spill over your eyes. “I’m just- I’m not that good at it.” 

“Hey,” he said softly, hand landing on your arm. You immediately shut up, lip trembling when you struggled to meet his eyes. “Relax, Y/n. It’s okay. I’m not judging you.” 

You nodded half-heartedly, still incredibly uneasy. 

“If you want…” Seokmin’s voice trailed off. His eyes ventured over your form briefly, licking his lips. “You know, if you want, I could teach you.” 

You looked at him silently. He seemed to snap out of whatever loopy trance he had been sucked into, because he was suddenly very jittery and scrambling through the bedsheets. “Uh, I mean- you don’t- God, I’m sorry- it was only if-” 

“Yes,” you said. His scrambling stilled immediately. His eyes were teacups. 

“You sure?” 

You nodded, not trusting your own voice. 

Seokmin squeezed his eyes shut, gulping as he sat back against the bed. His legs spread apart. “Come here,” he patted his thighs. 

You felt terribly sober. All that buzz and butterflies and blaze and blossom was gone and you felt like a doll, moving each limb individually, as you climbed into his lap, back to him. You were unable to think, unable to truly process what was happening, what it meant, as you felt his form engulf yours.

His hands found purchase on your hips and his breath was warm on your neck, as you felt every ridge of his abdomen on your back. His thumbs rubbed against your hip bone. 

“Okay, now show me how you usually do it,” his voice was a warm hum, a twinge of nervousness laced in it. Your face was lit ablaze and you squirmed in his hold, when one hand left your hip to gently push your legs apart. You sat, all open and held against him, dress keeping you covered.

“It’s embarrassing,” you huffed, being very serious, but Seokmin smiled and nosed your hair gently. 

“We can stop whenever you want, seriously, if you get uncomfortable, we stop” he reassured. 

“It’s just me.” 

It was. It was just Seokmin, your brothers best friend, the sweetest boy in the world, who used to have a swanky bowl cut and dorky school uniform and who was always Vernon’s most respectful friend, but he was hot and whispering into your ear and one hand was massaging the outside of your thigh. 

“Should I take my dress off?” you breathed, face turned halfway back to him. His hands squeezed at you in response and you could faintly make out his tongue sliding over his lips. 

“Only if you want, angel,” he whispered back, rubbing your sides tenderly. “We’re not doing anything you don’t want. Whatever makes you feel good. ‘M just here to help.” 

You nodded, and although the answer was maybe made to make you keep your dress on - a reassurance that there was no need to discard it - you removed yourself from his grasp, hands coming to tug your dress off. You felt a small boost of confidence when you heard Seokmin breathe out: “Shit.” 

Only in your bra and panties (terribly mismatched, your bra was black and your panties were pink), you leaned back into his hold, and you noted how Seokmin’s warm hands were much more careful now, splaying out on your bare skin. 

“Are you comfortable now?” he asked quietly. You nodded. He propped his head up on your shoulder, eyes cast down your almost-nude body, chest rising and falling. Your legs were closed again, he noticed, and his veiny hand reached down to open them again. “Show me how you do it, baby, so I can help you improve.” 

You gummed your lip, breathing in one last time, before your nervous fingers began dancing their way to your panties. They disappeared under the fabric for only a moment, before Seokmin spoke again.

“Sweetheart,” he tutted, hand wrapping around your wrist to stop its track. “Don’t just dive right in, you need to get yourself all hot first.” 

Your brows furrowed and some of the embarrassment you felt from being this exposed and pressed into Seokmin evaporated into genuine confusion.

“What? What do you mean?” you said, somewhat outraged, and Seokmin couldn’t help the laughter blooming in his chest at that. He vibrated against your back, hands smoothing down your arm. You pouted: “Don’t laugh at me, Minnie.” 

He stopped, still smiling as he nosed your temple. “I’m sorry, baby,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to your head, that had your heart beating out of your chest. “You’re just so cute.” 

Cute. You remembered your disdain for that word, but somehow, when it came from his lips, it made you beam. Everywhere he touched left behind a hot, burning ghost on your skin.

“You just have to touch your body, sweetheart,” he said sweetly. You thrashed in defiance, crying out quietly with red cheeks. Wiggling your body angrily, you felt his dick half-hard in his pants against your lower back. 

“Can’t you do it?” you whined, wanting nothing more than for him to take over and make you feel good. He sucked in a harsh breath behind you, fingers wrapping around your hands to soothe you still. He seemed to debate your proposal, but eventually he kissed your shoulder and spoke: “Okay, baby, but you have to show me you understand, alright?” you nodded feverishly. “We’re trying to get you to learn.” 

The whole thing had you dizzy, warm and gooey in his hands, and grounding yourself on his solid torso. You had tunnel vision, unable to focus on anything but his warm hands and sweet voice, and how fucking hard he was. You leaned your head up to look at him pleadingly. Even upside-down he was pretty. He giggled at your starstruck expression.

“Look at my hands, pretty,” he tapped your nose and you scrunched it, turning down to your own body, where he sat his hands on your waist. “You do it like this.” 

His hands started dragging over your skin, creating constellations of ghosts on your skin. One dragged across your stomach and down your leg, squeezing it along the way, and the other brushed over your bra-covered chest, landing on your shoulder and collarbones. Then they moved oppositely, then diverged from their chosen paths, and you started breathing heavily. Pressure built up in your stomach and your panties, and you felt how slick started leaking out of you. 

“Feel good?” Seokmin grinned against your neck, listening to the melody of your panted gasps. You nodded earnestly, moaning softly. Seokmin furrowed his brows at that noise, pressing kisses to your neck appreciatively. “Good girl. Such pretty sounds.” 

Both of Seokmin’s hands dragged up to your ribs. There, they paused. “Can I touch your chest, baby?” 

“Please,” you whimpered, and earned another sloppy kiss to the cheek. His hands immediately grabbed ahold of your chest, softly rubbing it over your bra. 

“Does that feel good?” he whispered. You hesitated for a moment. “Um, I don’t feel much, honestly.” 

You’d expect him to be a little angry or defensive, but Seokmin only hummed and nustled himself into your hair. “Good girl. Good girl, being so honest with me. So pretty.” 

You whined at his praise and Seokmin smiled smugly, taking notice of how heated you got from his words. 

“The- the fabric is in the way..” you whimpered meekly, and Seokmin nodded in understanding, stroking your sides soothingly. 

“You want to take off your bra?” he hummed, truly as if it would not expose you to him, as if it weren’t a lewd and depraved scenario, but something as simple as the weather. You nodded, removing yourself from the harbor of his arms once more to remove it. You unclipped it and threw it God knows where, before settling back into him. Seokmin peeked over your shoulder at your now bare breasts, groaning a little and covering it up with a cough. This was about you. 

Seokmin placed his hands on your tits again, massaging and rubbing the soft skin, before he brushed his thumbs over your hardened nipples.

You moaned - for the first time it was a clear moan, seething from your throat and puffing into the air. “Sound so pretty,” he muttered in your ear. “You really like that, hm?”

He pinched your nipples between his fingers, your back arching into his warm hands. Then, as soon as the pleasure had begun, it stopped, when his hands came to rest on the bed. You whined, twisting your head towards his, only to be stopped by fingers on your chin, turning you back forward. “Show me you can do it now, baby. You’re learning,” he reminded you.

 “But, Minnie, I want your hands,” you whined and he tutted softly in your ear. “I know, baby, but I need to know that you’re understanding this in that pretty little head of yours. Need to know you’re focusing. Come on, show me now.” 

Huffing, you placed your own hands (they somehow felt more foreign than his now) on your stomach and began to mimic his movements. You smoothed them up and down on your body, squeezing, then placed them on your chest, rubbing and pinching your nipples. 

“There you go,” he praised, and his hands had traveled to your shoulders, massaging them gently. You whimpered and turned your head to him again.

“Can you teach me how to touch my…” you trailed off.

“Your pussy?” he offered, as if it was nothing, as if it wasn’t vulgar or lewd. You nodded vigorously. Feeling him gulp a little, his hands became a little unsteady as they came to hold your waist again. “Can I hear you say it? Baby?” he asked and suddenly his voice was a little shaky, a little breathless. 

“Can you touch my pussy now, Minnie?” you asked, and any shame had been clouded over with lust. You’d never been this burningly bothered in your life, you needed him to touch you. He groaned, and this time he was unable to cover it up. You felt how his hard cock strained against his sweatpants, how it pressed into your back, and you wanted to touch it so bad. 

“Alright, baby, want your panties off?” His sharp nose was pressed into your hair. You shook your head. “Want them on.” 

He nodded. “Alright, jus’ tell me if you wanna stop, okay? I’m gonna touch you now.” 

His hand slipped under the waistband of your panties, disappearing under the pink fabric. As if they were always meant to be there, his fingers slipped through your folds, coming down to circle your slit in impossibly light figurations. 

“Shit,” he panted, grip on your waist suddenly bruising, as he tried to steady himself. “You’re so wet, baby, you like Seokminnie that much?” 

“Yeah, I do,” you nodded blindly, your own hands coming to grip onto his thighs. His middle finger danced upwards and pressed against your clit, and you immediately squeaked and shut your legs around his hand. 

“No, no, baby, don’t do that,” he frowned, hand that wasn’t buried in your pussy spreading your legs again. You felt how his legs, pressed against you, came to hook onto yours, forcing your legs apart with his own strength. He hummed in content. 

His finger pressed onto your clit again, and he felt how your legs tensed, straining against his to close. Your back arched and you moaned, eyes squeezed shut. He began rubbing it, and it was so intimate, how close you were to him, how his hand navigated your sopping wet pussy, fingers just rubbing you gently, and how bare you were, his eyes training over your bouncing tits when you thrashed. 

His fingers moved downwards again, gathering the wetness that was gushing out of you. Then, one long middle finger pushed into you. Canting into his hand, you moaned loudly and turned your head into his neck. Nosing the tan skin and inhaling his faint cologne, you began mindlessly kitten-licking the skin. His Adam's apple bopped under your tongue.

“You’re so tight,” he rasped, beginning to slowly push his finger in and out of you. His other hand had come to wrap around your waist in an attempt to calm the sudden bucking of your hips against his hand. 

His hand moved faster, obscene, wet sounds coming from your ruined underwear, where he worked diligently into your pussy. He slipped another finger in, and you cried from the stretch. It was becoming hard to contain you, thrashing and writhing against his hold, stuck between wanting to move closer and to move away entirely. His fingers tied a knot in your stomach.

“That’s right, pretty, tell me how good Minnie’s fingers feel,” he whispered hoarsely above your ear. You could almost only whine and moan, nipping at his neck a little. “Tell me or I’ll stop,” he warned.

“Feels so good!” you whined immediately, because if he stopped now, you figured you might start crying. “Feel so, so, so good, fuck, Seokmin, I’m-” 

“I know, baby, I know, but I’m teaching you, right?” 

Though your mind was fuzzy, you sensed what these words meant and panicked, hand coming down to grip his wrist in an attempt to hold him in place. “Please, please, please, Seokmin, don’t stop, please, don’t stop!” 

“Don’t talk back to me, sweetheart. I won’t stop, just talk to me. Tell me what you feel me doing,” pushing your head up again, Seokmin pressed his face against your cheek, so hard, you felt his humid pants against it. 

Your mind was so hazy, so transfixed on the feeling in your stomach and his finger in your pussy, you could hardly respond. 

“Tell me or I’ll stop, baby,” he reminded you again, and you scrambled frantically to focus. 

“Nngh! You’re- pushing in and out-” your voice broke, hips stuttering against his hand, that was continuing its remorseless pace. 

“Yeah, and?”

You furrowed your brows, lips trembling. “You’re- you’re curling them- A-ah!” 

“That’s right. Such a good girl. So smart and clever for me,” Seokmin whispered happily, his other hand slipping down your stomach to circle your clit. Both his hands working pleasure into your pussy, you cried out loudly, head pushed back into his chest.

“Just let go, baby, I can feel you clenching on me so hard. Wan’ me to stay in your pussy forever, hm? Just let go, cum whenever you want, wanna see your pretty face so bad,” somehow Seokmin was just as intoxicated off of lust as you, despite staying, hard and untouched, in his pants. But he babbled mindless praise to you, and you came to his sweet voice whispering in your ear.

Your orgasm sent you hurdling over the edge - the edge, the one you’d been standing at hopelessly for years. You flew across it and landed on Seokmin’s territory; in his arms. 

“Seokmin, a-ah!” you cried, releasing all over his fingers, coating them in your cum. Your entire body arched upwards, as you moaned into the night. Seokmin rode you through your high, pressing sweet kisses into your hair.

You fell limp against his body, worn out, when he finally retracted his fingers from your pussy. You snuggled into his sweater with a content hum. 

Seokmin smiled down at you, eyes brimming with fondness, as his cum-slicked hands wrapped around your torso in a hug, holding you into him. “You did so well,” he whispered genuinely. 

You looked up at him with a tired smile. “Thank you, Seokmin.” 

He held himself back from saying he would do that a thousand times over, in fact, he wouldn’t mind never pulling out - he could live with only one hand. Instead, he pressed a kiss to your forehead and whispered: “Of course, darling.” 

Your brows furrowed and you pulled yourself away from him a little, eyeing the tent in his pants worriedly. “Do you want me to-” 

“No,” he shook his head decidedly. “No, I’ll take care of it.” 

You looked at him with big, innocent eyes, that only furthered the throbbing of his cock. Partially, he wanted to give in so badly. The thought of your hand around his cock, all pouty and innocent and confused, and how heavy it would be in your small hand, had made him cum more times than he’d like to admit. But, he reminded himself, this was about you. This was a favor. “Are you sure?” you asked softly.

“Yes, baby, go to bed. I’m gonna go get you some fresh clothes.” 

You snuggled into bed while Seokmin scurried away to fetch a shirt and some boxers, and when he came back you cooperated limply in taking off your panties, and putting on what he’d given you. You fell asleep in his bed, cuddling his duvet, and surrounded by his scent. 

Seokmin watched you in adoration. How peaceful you looked, chest rising and falling, and a little pout on your lips. 

He wandered through the house, trying simultaneously to get as far from you as possible, and also trying to decide which of his housemates he currently hated the most. He landed on Jeonghan, slipping into his empty room and settling himself on the bed.

There, he fisted his solid fucking cock and bucked into his own hand, eyes squeezed shut to remember how you looked under his hands, how you begged for him, how well you listened, what a good girl you were for him. His moans were trembling and muffled by his own hand, and when he came, he felt momentarily smug, looking at how it dripped over Jeonghan’s sheets (served him right). Then, post-nut clarity sank in, as he reentered his own room and cuddled into you on the bed. 

He felt almost despicable. He felt gross and evil and perverted and lewd, not because of you, but because, as if it were his first time realizing it, he remembered that you were Vernon’s sister. He remembered that he had promised to protect you from manipulative guys and always watch over you, and help you if you needed help, and report to Vernon if you were acting weird. Yet here he was, letting you cum on his hand and groping your tits, as if he was still that teenage boy with that swanky bowl cut. 

After an hour of chewing on his lips and frowning, Seokmin let your sweet perfume lull him to sleep. He dreamt of you. _____________________________

There’s a blissful instant that morning when you wake up, curled into Seokmin’s arms, head nuzzled in his chest. There’s a blissful instant when you tilt your head, staring at his sleeping face, and he’s so beautiful, features all soft and breathing rhythmically. There’s a blissful instant where you see him, and your heart weeps in your chest because he’s so gorgeous.

Then it’s gone.

A panic button is pressed in your head, and your nerve-endings, each one resting on him, begin burning. What had you done? Yesterday feels like a faraway dream, but he’s still wearing that sweater and it grounds you in the reality of what had happened. 

You’re lost. What did this mean for the two of you? Was Seokmin just lusting after you? But that couldn’t be right, you thought, because he’d insisted on only helping you, refused your offers to help him, which now was making you rot in his arms with guilt. Was this genuinely an attempt to help you? To be diligently by your side at the request of your brother? But surely this had been outside of the realm of what was acceptable to help your best friend’s baby sister with? Did that mean he liked you? 

Seokmin awakened from your sudden squirming, as if, with enough shaking and turning, that feelings and thoughts would just fall out of you. They didn’t, they stayed right where they were, and all you were given in return was Seokmin’s eyes fluttering open. 

You watched him go through that same process; the bliss came first and then the panic. Seokmin’s eyes went from adoring to wide and grave and suddenly he was shuffling away from you on the bed, creating a cool distance between you on the landscape of his mattress. You didn’t miss the pink dusting his cheeks.

“Uh- good morning,” he mumbled, and he could only look at his hands. Your throat was unbelievably dry. “Morning.” 

You’re not sure how you both managed, but you went through that morning without mentioning the previous night even once. The air was thick with tension, fleeting glances, and shaky hands, while Seokmin made you both bowls of oatmeal. You stood on the other side of the counter in his shirt and his boxers. 

You ate in his bed. It was silent and heavy and each clink of spoons against the bowl-rims had you both wincing. He put on a TV-show and you sat across from one another, chewing wordlessly to some drama in the background. Your belly was pooling with tension and light cascaded onto you, revealing your pores and flaws. Were you a bad person?

Finally, finally, Seokmin put down his spoon with yet another clink, fingers catching the bridge of his nose and eyes squeezing shut. He huffed into the palm of his hand, swallowing the oatmeal hard. 

“Uh-” he began and his voice cracked, “Y/n. About last night-” 

But you cut him off, and he couldn’t ever, even in his wildest dreams, have imagined that these words would come out of your mouth:

“I want to return the favor.” 

The words were almost spat and discarded, as if they’d been sitting on the tip of your tongue all morning with a foul taste, and you’d only now been able to rid yourself of it. Seokmin snapped his head towards you, a genuine surprise on his face, but he soon wished he hadn’t looked at all. 

You were so pretty, sitting cross legged in his shirt and a blush creeping up your neck and cheeks all shiny in the morning sun. And there was this innocence to your eyes, big lashes shadowing it only a little; this earnestness that told him you really, really wanted to do this for him.

“I-” he chuckled a little, heart clenching at your sweetness, “I can’t ask you to do that.” 

“Well, it’s good that I’m asking you then,” you said, and though the comment was witty, when Seokmin looked at you again, he saw how careful you looked, and how unsure you were of yourself. 

“Listen, N/n,” he reached out to grab your hand, and it was burning into yours, each area of adjoined skin screaming at you with reminders of last night. “You don’t have to do that. I just wanted to make you feel good, I was happy to just be of service to you-” 

“But I want to make you feel good,” you pouted, almost brattily. Seokmin’s gentle expression and tone faded into something darker, as his eyes flitted down to your exposed legs and your heaving chest. He swallowed, putting away his bowl of oatmeal and collecting himself. 

“Are you sure? You need to be absolutely 100% sure-” 

“I’m sure, Minnie. I want to-” you broke off your own words with a squeak, face becoming bright red. You leaned in self-consciously, as if to tell him a secret: “I want to suck your dick.” 

Your whispered admittance had him groaning, groaning at how sweet and innocent your voice was, how you couldn’t even say it loudly, you had to whisper the dirty word to him. He wanted you so badly, wanted to be the one to take away your innocence, to make you all dirty and beg for him, to make you thrash and whine and to teach you how to really feel good. He wanted you.

It’s like a switch had flipped, when Seokmin put his hand on the back of your head, and suddenly you were kissing again. The tension from before was replaced with something wholly different, something hot, something laced in the eye contact he gave you, before he leaned it again. 

And Seokmin was kissing you with a fervor that you recognized from yourself - you both wanted to forget. Wanted to forget Vernon, who, although a great brother and friend, had become a heavy strain on your relationship with Seokmin. So you kissed him and let his tongue in your mouth when it swiped over your bottom lip, and you sucked on it, and you let him and yourself get lost in each other.

The sound of smacking lips and saliva was so lewd too, especially when Seokmin’s hand pulled you from your spot on the bed and into his lap, hands roaming your body, while you tangled into his hair. He was half-moaning into your mouth by the time he pulled away, face flushed and eyes darker and lower and lips swollen red. 

“You gonna let me use that pretty mouth, baby?” he whispered against your lips, one hand palming over his cock through his boxers. You nodded, almost desperately, one hand reaching out to his in his lap. “Can I touch it?” 

Seokmin smiled fondly, looking down at where your small hand was outstretched towards his cock. “Yeah, baby, go ahead.” 

You were a bit clumsy at first, but soon enough you found its outline in his black boxers and you squeezed it a little. Seokmin crooked over, groaning into your shoulder. You felt him get harder and harder against your palm, a small smile at the desperate noises he was making. 

Seokmin had laid his cheek on your shoulder, neck twisting to stare up at you, while you focused solely on touching him, and he hated himself for getting even harder because it was you - you, who he had wanted for so long, who he was hugged into and lying on, while you touched his warm cock.

“You’re so pretty,” he whispered, breathing heavily, and then smiling brightly when you became all sheepish, smiling and looking away, so that you had to pause your actions. He nosed into your neck, regaining some semblance of control over the situation, now that you weren’t touching him, and his breath was warm and humid on your skin. He pressed small kisses up to your jawline, nose flattening against you.

“So, so pretty. Fuck, imagining you with my cock in your mouth, all drooling and shit. Fuck, baby, you gonna let me fuck your mouth?” he rambled, hands finding home on your tits again. You whined and nodded, trying to pry him off of you. Immediately (forever struggling with a little concern that you might’ve changed your mind) he pulls away, looking up at you worriedly. 

“Don’t- don’t touch me, I don’t wanna get.. All hot,” you whispered those words that he had said last night, biting your lip in worry. “I want to do it now.” 

Seokmin melted completely, and in a complete inability to contain his adoration, brushed hair out of your face and pressed a million kisses to your cheeks and your nose. “Okay,” he said in between kisses, and you felt his smile on your skin, “okay, baby. But if it gets too much, tap my thigh three times, okay? If you need anything, if you feel uncomfortable.” 

“Yes, yes,” you huffed, pushing yourself away from him and hopping onto the floor, sinking to your knees before the bed. 

It felt completely unreal - to both of you. How you were suddenly on your knees and how he settled in front of you, bare, thick thighs on either side of your head. Everything was all light and all the places he’d kissed and touched had become holy and glowing on your body. He shimmed his boxers off and you gaped at the sudden exposure of his dick. 

He was hard. Apparently the kissing and groping had been enough, because it slapped against his sweater, leaking silky white liquid from the tip. And he was big - you didn’t exactly have a good point of reference, but you vaguely sensed from Giselle’s words that this was quite a feat. 

And actually seeing it brought a wave of uncertainty on you, not as to whether or not you wanted to do it, but how. So, you blinked up at him with a small frown, voice small when you spoke: “Seokmin.. How- how do I do it?” 

Seokmin practically glowed with adoration, when he petted your head and rubbed your cheek, seemingly so comfortable despite being totally bare. “You just put your lips around it and suck, baby, it’s easy,” he said softly, then added, a little panicked: “And be mindful of your teeth.” 

“But it’s so big,” you marveled, eyes trained on it, and he almost groaned at it, because you sounded so genuinely amazed, so disbelieving. 

“Just put your hands around the parts you can’t reach. I’ll be gentle, baby, don’t worry,” he said. You nodded hesitantly, leaning forward towards it, but his hand in your hair suddenly clenched and pulled you back. You looked up at him and saw his eyes brimming with worry. “You do want this, right?” 

“Yes, please, stop being so- so gentle with me and let me suck your dick!” You whined, fed up with being treated like glass, and tugged his hand out of your hair. Seokmin visibly relaxed at your insistence, nodding. 

Finally, fingers grabbing the base of it, you wrapped your mouth around the tip. You were met immediately with the taste of his pre-cum, licking over where it leaked curiously. Seokmin’s hand found your hair again, gripping it tight to steady himself, as he groaned loudly. You slowly sank down, basking in the whimpers you ripped from his mouth.

“Fuck- you’re- you’re doing so good, baby,” he cried, face twisted in pleasure and head thrown back. You looked up at him and he was so pretty and glowing, panting into the air. 

You sank down as far as you could, feeling the tip sit snug against the back of your mouth, and your hands wrapped around the base of his dick. You looked up at him, experimentally squeezing, and pursing your lips around his dick to suck it carefully.

“A-ah! Fuck!” Seokmin cried, hand that wasn’t in your hair squeezing the edge of his mattress. His thighs were flexing on either side of your head. “You’re- you’re so good at this, sweetheart. Good girl, fuck, such a pretty girl for me, letting me use you like this.” 

You whined at his words, squeezing your thighs together. Seokmin’s hips bucked upwards at the vibrations, hitting the back of your throat. The sudden intrusion was unexpected and you let out a garbled moan around his cock. He panted regretfully: “S-Sorry, baby, d-didn’t mean to do that, you just feel so good. Can- can you bob your head up and down it for me?” 

You did, started moving your head up and down his shaft, and breathing hard through your nose, while your hands squeezed the base of his cock. Looking up at Seokmin, you felt confidence that you were doing something right. He was in heaven, face all scrunched up and breathing as if he’d just ran a marathon. 

And when he peeked his down to you, he could’ve cum immediately. Your pretty lips wrapped around his cock, head bopping with tears in your eyes from the pressure in your throat, and how curious and sparkling they were, gauging his reaction. The groan that clawed its way up from his heart, through his throat and out into his room quickly turned to a whimper. 

“I’m- I’m gonna cum, sweet pea, can I-” he swallowed hard, because even the thought had him close to release. “Can I cum down your throat, pretty?” 

You nodded, a little too preoccupied to answer, but Seokmin got it, and with just a couple more bobs, and the feeling of your wet tongue pressing against the underside of his cock, he spurted into your mouth in long ropes of white, whining at the top of his lungs, and pulling hair from the roots. 

It was, admittedly, a little gross and sticky in your mouth, but it was also hot and you felt proud you’d made him feel good. He was panting, trying to recover, when you pulled off his dick, a satisfied smile on your face. His hand wandered to your face, caressing your cheekbone, before moving down to your puffy lips. 

“Can I-” he was almost embarrassed, “Can I see baby? Can you open your mouth for me?” 

A little confused, you did as told and opened your mouth, sticking out your tongue that was still covered in his sticky release. 

“Fuck,” he groaned at the sight, squeezing his eyes shut and willing himself not to get hard again. “C-Can you swallow it for me, beautiful?” 

Still confused, you nodded and gulped it down, trying not to look like it felt as gross as it did. If Seokmin noticed, he didn’t remark it, because he only groaned again, and pulled you by your face into a sloppy, heated kiss. 

“So, so, so good for me,” he whispered, not letting you out of the kiss, even when saliva dripped down your chin. “Such a good girl, letting me use her mouth, such an obedient, good girl.” 

You whined into his mouth at those words, bothered by the aching in your core that his moans and his blissed out face had caused, and now those words repeated over and over: Good girl.

He grinned into your mouth. “Yeah? You like being my good girl, right? Like doing your best for Seokminnie?” 

“Yes,” you murmured breathlessly, too lost in the feeling of his mouth and his hands rubbing your waist to come up with anything better.

Seokmin pulled away with a warm smile, both hands coming up to cup your cheeks. “You did well,” was all he said, and you could genuinely cry, because that was it - you just wanted to know you did well. 

“I’m gonna go clean up, okay?” he said, waiting for you to nod in response before he pushed himself off the bed, snatching a new pair of boxers from a drawer on his way out of the door. 

You threw yourself on the bed, closing your eyes contentedly. 

He liked you. You were sure of it now, when you thought back to how his eyes had balked at you so wonderfully, how careful and attentive he’d been. You were certain, and your heart smiled and you smiled and your hair was sprawled out on his sheets and for the first time, that desert wasteland in your head welcomed you and took you in, and you were right where you were supposed to be. 

Until your phone started buzzing. 

It was dancing across the sheets violently at someone's call and you peeked open one eye tiredly to pick it up. And when you did, the desert turned on you. Caught in a sandstorm, you held your phone between your fingers and felt your heart drop, lowered into the acid bath of your stomach.

It was Vernon.

Vernon, who was Seokmin’s best friend. Vernon, who was your brother. Vernon, who had always yelled at you to leave his room whenever he had Seokmin over. Vernon, who didn’t like when you talked to any guys at all, who had recruited his best friend to watch over you and take care of you. Vernon, whose best friend had just had his dick in your mouth. 

You heard the shower running distantly when you clicked accept, hoping to God that you didn’t look too disheveled. 

“Hi, N/n!” Vernon cheered immediately on the other end. His face popped up on your screen, a bright smile on his face. You smiled too - you missed your brother - but it was half faded, and Vernon noticed immediately. 

“Hi, Vern,” you said softly. His brows furrowed. “What’s wrong?” 

Of course, he could read you like a book. Of course, he knew that you were distant and nervous. You sighed heavily, trying desperately to collect yourself, to remember how you usually behaved, but for some reason, that you was far gone, and you had to be splayed on his screen, like a person replaced by something peregrine. 

“I’m a little stressed out,” you mumbled. “Got a lot of papers and stuff, that’s why I’m not home.” 

“Come home next break, okay? We miss you and you need to get out of that place every once in a while.” 

You nodded. 

Vernon’s eyes narrowed suddenly, and you saw him lean closer to the screen (which would have been funny, were you not suddenly wondering if there was leftover cum on your face). “Hey, where are you right now?” 

“My friend,” you said quickly - too quickly. “Her name’s Yunjin, we’re working together in chem.” 

Vernon hummed, seemingly content with your answer. “Your friend has the same bed sheets as Seokmin.” 

Shit, yeah, they facetimed every week, you remembered, cringing at yourself for not thinking of it earlier. You tried to play it cool, shrugging: “Weird.”

“Yeah, anyway-” 

Vernon rambled on and on about something or other, but you were unable to focus, watching the door to Seokmin’s room with a worried frown.

Moreover, you felt like a whore. Realistically, you hadn’t even lost your virginity. But sleeping with your brother’s best friend suddenly felt way more real now that you were talking to said brother, now that you were lying to his face, and you felt dirty and gross and you wished you could stand before Vernon, as the same baby sister that you had been before. But you weren’t. You were disgusting.

“Vernon, I gotta go,” you cut him off, and you hadn’t heard a word. Vernon’s excited expression dropped and he furrowed his brows. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, and you thanked the pixels for concealing at least a bit of the worry on his face. 

“Yeah, I just- I really need to get going,” you said. “Bye, Vernon!”

“By-” 

You disconnected the call and gathered your things, put your own clothes back on. Throwing Seokmin’s clothes onto his floor felt like shedding a second skin - a skin that had made you ugly and greedy and lustful. You only kept his boxers on, lumping the dress over your shoulders to drape over you in an unsightly and unorganized way. 

You spared a glance at the wrapped condom on his bedside table, long lost and forgotten by now. You could leave it. You could leave it and have a reason to come back, a reason to slip across that ledge again and fall into his arms and his mouth and his warmth. You almost did. Almost left it right there, where it begged to belong. But you snatched it off the counter, ignoring the way your heart clenched when you did, and slipped it into your tote bag. And you left, jumping across the border that separated you and back into your own wasteland. And it was so cold and so empty. You were alone again.

Seokmin came out of the shower, expecting to see you cuddled up in his bed, all soft and beautiful. But you weren’t there. Seokmin understood immediately. The condom was gone and so were you, only the perfume in his sheets remained, willing him to remember. And he cried. He sobbed into his own hands, because what had he done? 

You did not see each other the rest of that day. Or the next day. _____________________________

Seokmin wanted to let you disappear. He wanted you to slip away and he wanted to forget it had even happened - like a burning star dies out and leaves only a faint warmth behind, lasting years. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t let you go, couldn’t bear knowing he’d never hold you in his arms again, never see you laugh again, never see you cum again. And he couldn’t bear knowing that maybe he’d read it wrong; maybe he’d made you uncomfortable, maybe you’d felt obligated. 

So he texted you. For two days his texts came in sporadically and unsuccessfully. Questioning and pleading, he wanted to know it wasn’t true. 

Lee Seokmin: why’d you leave? 

Lee Seokmin: can we talk??

Lee Seokmin: i miss u

Lee Seokmin: i need to know i didnt hurt you

Lee Seokmin: can you please answer? 

Each text came more painful than the last. Each text came more pleading. You sat alone in your room, in the dark, having only his one sided chats to light up your tear-streaked face. 

Eventually they stopped coming. You thought they would. You thought, you knew, eventually he’d give up. But what hurt the most was knowing he wanted you too; knowing he liked you as much as you liked him. You’d seen it in his eyes, when his hand slipped between your legs, and you’d seen it when he came staring down at you.

But you preferred to remember Seokmin for how he was.

How he was small and young, how he had a swanky bowlcut and how he looked in his school uniform. How he and your big brother, Vernon, had bonded and watched movies together in your living room, and the countless dinners he’d stayed over for, always so respectful to your parents and you. You preferred to remember when he didn’t love you back. 

The pain that had been tethered to your youth and to him, back when he was unreachable, just a figure you could marvel at, was so much duller compared to this pain, the one pulsed in your heart now: the pain of him loving you back, but still being off-limits. Something that could be, but was destined to die out. And it did, when he stopped texting you, you felt that unborn child’s soul leave your own. Alone again.

And then suddenly, you weren’t. 

A stern knock on your door. You flinched at the sound, fearing the worst. You were in your bed, in your sweatpants and your sweater and that condom was on the bedside table, watching the door with you. 

Another knock.

“Y/n, I know you’re in there!” 

Seokmin. Of course, it was Seokmin. No one else would come for you. But it was all too painful. You feared the worst - feared that seeing him, you would collapse into him again, and that this time you wouldn’t be able to find your way back. 

“Open the door, Y/n,” his voice was serious.

“Go away, Seokmin!” you yelled, voice breaking halfway. 

A pause. When Seokmin spoke again, he was not angry anymore; he was vulnerable.

“Y/n. I-I know you don’t want to talk to me, but-” he paused, wincing at himself and you knew there was tears in his eyes. “But I need to know that I didn’t make you uncomfortable.” 

You thought that you could handle the self-blame Seokmin omitted - maybe that’s just because it was words on a screen. But hearing him crying outside your door, and how real he was when his hand knocked vigorously, it tore down each and every one of your last defenses. 

“I need- I need to hear that you’re okay and that I-” 

“I’m opening the door,” you interrupted him, and sure enough you padded to the door and swiftly unlocked it. 

And then you were standing before one another. It was like time stopped, how the air stilled around you, and how the world quieted down. He was all crumpled paper hearts, all deflated and broken, and his hair was messy and his eyes were dark, but they sparkled again, just at the sight of you, and yours at him. 

“It’s not your fault,” you whispered, breaking the enchantment cast upon you. The real world came crashing down, the people in the streets and birds in the trees and wind coursing through the leaves. The light that you’d shut out with a firm tug to the curtains was dancing on your linoleum floor. “It’s my fault. It’s- I talked to Vernon and I- I feel like shit, Seokmin. I feel like a slut.” 

“You’re a virgin!” Seokmin scoffed, but it did nothing to calm you. 

“It felt wrong! Because I- because you’re Vernon’s friend. Because Vernon never likes when I date guys, and because now I’ve been fooling around with his best friend,” you defended yourself, biting your lip when tears stung your eyes. Seokmin softened. “I just felt guilty. And gross.” 

“You’re not gross, you’re in love,” he said softly, and your eyes locked. Everything about him was pleading - he was just short of literally falling to his knees, begging for you to hear him out. “And- and with me, of all people!” 

“Seokmin-” 

“And I’m in love with you too,” his voice was an urgent whisper, not daring to let you speak again, to let you try and steer him away. 

“Of all people,” you mumbled, a small smile finding your lips. Seokmin smiled too. 

“So.. I’m tired of hearing you talk about yourself like this. I’m tired of Vernon being the one keeping us apart. I want- I want you to know that Vernon would understand.”

You shook your head dismissively. He wouldn’t. 

“I know him too! You know? Maybe better than you,” he pouted a little, and it made you laugh, and everything was becoming lighter, and for better or worse you really did want to jump into his arms again. “He shouldn’t be the thing stopping you from dating me- or- or anyone, really. But especially me.” 

You giggled again, and Seokmin’s heart palpitated in his chest at that sound - and at being the source of it. Then the laughter trailed off and your smile tightened and your heart tightened: “I just don’t want to sneak around-” 

“Okay! Say no more!” Seokmin interrupted, hand held out as if to calm a mighty beast. He casually pulled out his phone, tongue in his cheek, as he called your brother. Vernon.

It rang for a few seconds, put on speaker. You couldn’t help the nervousness. Couldn’t help the pinch in your nerves, building up from your stomach and into your heart. Then he answered. 

“Hey, dude, what’s up?” Vernon’s voice glitched on the other end of the line, utterly oblivious (as always). Seokmin spoke, hand on his hip: “Hey, just curious, how would you feel if me and your sister started dating?” 

There was a moment of silence. On Vernon’s end, you imagined it was simply puzzled, but on your end, you stood with your heart all big and floaty, like a balloon in your hand, waiting for him to say that he’d hate it, that he’d kill him, and pop your heart with a simple word to prick. That wasn’t what he said though. Vernon said:

“I mean, yeah, man, I’d prefer you over any of those other college douchebags. I at least know you’d take care of her for real, man, not like that Jeonghan guy you were going on about.” 

Your heart balloon took off, and the boundary between you and Seokmin filled itself with sand. Had it been imaginary? This whole time? You couldn’t help the wheeze you left you, overwhelmed with relief and joy. 

“I know, man, Jeonghan’s the worst,” Seokmin said casually, but he was grinning from ear to ear at your reaction. You’d buckled over in silent laughter, unable to contain the glee. It seemed to dramatic now 

“The worst,” Vernon repeated. Then he pursed his lips and spoke again: “So you’re dating my sister?” 

“Uh, you know, I think we’re making it official in a second, yeah,” Seokmin said and even Vernon could hear the smile in his voice. 

“Cool, man, yeah, I kind of figured, she facetimed me with your ugly ass bed sheets in the background, and I thought, no way, a girl would buy those bed sheets.” 

“Lay off my sheets, man.” 

Both of the men laughed and you did too, crying laughing and covering your mouth to contain. Your chest was fluttering with butterflies and light and love.

“Hey, man, for real, if you hurt her, I know where you live, bro,” Vernon was suddenly serious. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it, man,” Seokmin responded, equally as serious now. He eyed you, then spoke into the phone again: “Hey, I gotta go make sweet love to your sister.” 

“Ew, dude, don’t say tha-” 

And the phone was hung up and Seokmin was laughing with you, eyes crescent and smile wide and toothy, and cheeks all red and shiny, he doubled over and took your hands in his. “I told you, didn’t I?” 

“Shut up, Lee,” you said, pulling him by the hand and letting him kiss you. Letting yourself kiss him. Letting yourself back into his arms, and this time Seokmin had crossed the border, and had fallen into you, and you stood there together and you were in love. 

So, so in love, your lips entangled and danced together, and your hands dragged up the back of his neck and his up your waist. 

And you realized, his tongue in your mouth, this was how you preferred to remember Seokmin; completely and utterly in love with you, and dancing with you in your room, and smiling into the kiss, and hands running up your body. You preferred to remember him as yours, and yourself as his. 

Seokmin guided you to your bed, pulling your body into his lap. Then he pulled away, completely out of breath, and smiling at you like a twinkling star. 

“Think we can finally break open that condom now?” 

“Fuck yes,” you said.

And then you did.

letters

PAIRING: lee seokmin x reader GENRE: established relationship, fluff WC: 620 WARNINGS: none

When you said you like letters better than flowers, it never crossed your mind that you would receive long paragraphs of text literally every day from Seokmin.

He still gets you flowers every few weeks, freshens up your window, and gives new color to your room. But he loves writing for you. He would spend some time before bed writing in your chat room, telling you everything.

"Did you receive it?" Seokmin asked when both of you meet during the weekend. His eyes shine with expectations that you soon snuff out by looking confused and saying no.

"Oh no..." Seokmin said. his face fell as he realized that you might never get it, that he might have messed it up in the process. After all, it's his first time sending letters through the post office, with stamps and all. Your heart sank when he told you.

"It's fine, don't worry. I remember everything... I'll just write another one and give it to you tomorrow." He reassured.

You went home in the evening, yanking the post box open, and found nothing. Motivated by the letter's content, you went to the post office, talking to the staff, trying to find your missing letter. When one of them digs through the pile of letters, you feel a spark of hope.

You went home immediately after receiving the letter with a golden retriever stamp. In it was the handwriting you recognize well. A two-page handwritten letter that makes your heart tinge with warmth.

I hope this reaches you, the first line read. I can't believe people used to do this back in the day to talk to each other. I don't think I can handle anticipating a reply.

You know, I always love writing letters. Especially for you. However, I find it difficult to put everything into words. But mostly, I find it difficult to explain my feelings when you're around. You make me the happiest in the world, and I love that you always reassure me that I make you feel the same way.

ever since I met you, I think I understand love better. I have more courage to love, because you, my adventurer, deserve the daring love. One that's not afraid to take consequences if it means proving you how loved you are. The good consequences.

But you also deserve the soft love, the pat on the head when days get tough, and the rub on the back when the world gets too cruel. I know just how to fix that with words, and I always love sending them to you because I know you captured them and keep a folder filled with soft words, and good words.

Aside from that, you also deserve guiltless love, the I love yous in the middle of the day just because, the I love yous in between activities because of how easy it was to love you.

And it was easy to love you. If you ever doubted that it was the other way around, I'm telling you; it was easy to love you. It was as easy as breathing, as blinking, as picking up my favorite snack in the convenience store, as reading my favorite book, as singing the lyrics to my favorite songs. by now, loving you is like a muscle memory.

You put the letter in your chest, inhaling sharply as you try to not cry. Seokmin has a way with words, that's for sure, and with him, you don't feel you're saying too much because he would say equally as much. Your world is crowded with his words, words that never stop making you smile.

I love you my star. Don't doubt that for a second.

You would never dare.

a/n. i think i teared up a bit while writing this. bcs as much as this is something he would write, i think i wrote this while thinking of him too. it is, indeed, easy to love him.

chan, your brother’s hot

one

here’s a silly little smau series that i started instead of working on ardent love,,, i love you lee seokmin

Calico

Choi Y/N is pretty, smart, and funny and she knows it - mostly because she hears it all the time from the men (read: victims) she dates. She's about to get a taste of her own medicine.

Pairing: Joshua x female reader; mentions of Mingyu x female reader, Woozi x female reader, Seokmin x female reader, Jeonghan x female reader Genres: (a little) fluff, (quite a bit of) angst, smut, college au

Word count: 31k

TW/CW: MDNI, contains smut with no protection mentioned (be safe please!!), mentions of alcohol, food, a whole lot of cyber bullying, mentions of some tough family dynamics such as divorce.

A/N: The way these characters are written in no way indicates reality as this is entirely a work of fiction. This was initially inspired by John Tucker Must Die, but took a left turn or two as it came together.

Recommended playlist: Calico by DPR Ian; Easy by Jaehyun; Lie to Girls by Sabrina Carpenter

Act One

Joshua carefully ties the black apron around his waist. He’s in a pair of black slacks, a black button down shirt, and a black tie - the required uniform that’s way nicer than some of the ones he’s had to wear before. It’s only his third week at one of the many upscale sushi places in town. Minghao, his new roommate, had recommended him for a job and the manager had blindly agreed without really looking at Joshua’s resume. The manager said they needed the help since school was going to be back in session soon and they expected an influx of foot traffic. That worked perfectly for Joshua because while the hourly wage left a little to be desired as a lot of waiting jobs did, the tips were good here and he didn’t mind eating sushi everyday on his break. 

This wasn’t Joshua’s first waiting job, so he didn’t need a manager to tell him what to do when he arrived for his shift. On his first day, he’d had exactly two hours of training before the shift leader said he didn’t need it. He found out which section he’d be waiting on tonight and when the hostess led a couple to one of his tables, he was right behind them. 

With a practiced smile, he greeted them. “Good evening. I’m Joshua, and I’ll be taking care of you tonight. Have you been here before?”

The woman smiles and looks to the man she’s with. He shakes his head, an easy grin on his face. Joshua tells them about the specials and points out some popular items on the menu, before taking their drink orders. 

The thing is, this woman has definitely been here - just not with the man she’s with tonight. In fact, she was here last week and the week before with another man. He glances at them curiously while he waits for the bartender to fix their drinks. The man is handsome and clearly spends a lot of time in the gym. And the woman is beautiful, model-like even. Maybe they’re just friends, he thinks. Pretty people like that tend to flock together. Then he sees them reach out to hold hands across the table. They look like the picture perfect couple. Just like she did with the guy last week too. 

Minghao approaches the bar in a matching uniform and apron, giving his table’s drink orders to the bartender. Then he follows Joshua’s eyes. Joshua’s surprised when he chuckles. 

“Do you know them?” 

Minghao shakes his head. “Not personally. I’d kind of prefer to keep it that way. They go to school with us.” 

Joshua hums. Classes haven’t started yet, so he wouldn’t have known that. He’s a transfer student and knows next to nothing about his potential classmates, or campus yet for that matter beyond the dorm and the student union. He’s hoping Minghao will give him a tour in the next few days so he doesn’t look like a total freshman with a printed map from the Admissions office. 

“They’re cute together. Have they been dating long?” Joshua doesn’t mean anything by the question because he’s just curious and making small talk. Minghao’s nice but they don’t know each other well yet. He’s surprised at how amused Minghao looks at the question.

“Uh, no. And it won’t last either.”

Joshua gives him a perplexed look. “How do you know that?”

“Choi Y/N doesn’t stay with anyone for long. She even likes to see a few at once sometimes from what I hear, not that the poor bastards ever know it until it’s too late. I doubt that even Kim Mingyu will keep her attention for longer than a few weeks.” 

Joshua shrugs, gathering the drinks that the bartender slides him. As long as they were paying the bill at the end of dinner, he didn’t care too much who she came to dinner with. He delivers their drinks with the same practiced smile and takes their orders. He checks on them a couple times while they eat and when the time comes, he swipes Kim Mingyu’s card for the bill and they leave. He buses the table quickly and moves on with his night. 

Whatever Choi Y/N did was really none of his business, though he felt kind of bad for Kim Mingyu. The guy looked like he was already in love. 

~

“Are you out to ruin my life?” 

Y/N raises an eyebrow at Seungcheol in amusement. “Yes, literally since we were evicted from the womb.”

Her twin brother drops his back pack into a chair and slams the tray of food on the table across from her, plopping down. “First of all, you have to stop saying that. You’re a biology major, you know there’s a more appropriate way to say that.” 

“I’m just calling it what Eomma does! She reminds us every August,” Y/N says innocently. Their mother had even given them a cake with ‘Happy Eviction Day’ written on it in icing a couple weeks ago. It was their 22nd birthday and they were away for most of the year for school. She wasn’t kicking them out now because she’d already done that in the ‘most important’ way 22 years ago. 

Seungcheol is not impressed. “Second of all,” he says forcefully, “I’m trying to run a basketball team here! I’ve told you that you cannot mess with my players.”

Y/N rolls her eyes. Kim Mingyu had not taken her turning down another date very well. He’d taken her out a handful of times and he checked a lot of boxes or she wouldn’t have gone out with him otherwise. He was handsome, had a nice body, was intelligent, and was very giving in bed. But she didn’t really feel a spark, so Y/N declined to see him again this week.

“Is going on a few dates ‘messing with your players’ now? You didn’t complain before.” 

“That’s because he was a freshman. I wasn’t giving him any playing time anyway,” Seungcheol seethed, but Y/N knew there was something exaggerated about it. Call it twin telepathy. “Kim Mingyu, on the other hand, is one of my starters and he’s been sucking ass all week. Air balls every time, no defense to speak of, tripping over his own feet. You’ve ruined yet another one.”

“Ruined is such a strong word,” Y/N said lightly, picking at her lunch. It was spaghetti day at the student union and it wasn’t her favorite, but she didn’t have time to run back to the sorority house for anything between classes and office hours for her TA position. 

“Ruined what?” Jeonghan says, sliding into the seat next to Y/N with his tray. 

“She’s out to ruin my team again!” Seungcheol cries, putting emphasis on ‘again’, but he should know he won’t get any sympathy here. 

Jeonghan laughs, pushing his tray to touch Y/N’s. He plops two pieces of garlic bread on her tray before stealing half of her spaghetti. Y/N doesn’t try to stop him because this is such an old habit that there would be no point. They’ve been splitting meals since they first started eating solid foods as babies. Seungcheol had never been much of a sharer, but Y/N didn’t mind it. Plus, she really wants the garlic bread and Jeonghan knows it. He can sweet talk the lunch lady better than she can to get an extra piece every now and then. “Mingyu didn’t take it well, huh?”

“He did not,” Y/N answers in a sing-song voice. 

“I’m surrounded by monsters.” Seungcheol is full on pouting now, but Y/N and Jeonghan have known him too long for it to have an effect. 

“Eat your food, Cheol,” Y/N insists. He probably only listens because he’s hungry, but Y/N would like to think it’s because she’s a few minutes older. 

“What are you guys doing on Friday?” Jeonghan asks them. “I was thinking about going to see that new horror movie.”

“I’m free, but does it have to be a horror movie? Can it be literally anything else?” Seungcheol asked, swatting Y/N’s hand away when she reached across the table to pinch his cheek. Among them, Y/N and Jeonghan were the horror fans, and Seungcheol hid behind his hands the whole time. He had for years. 

“Yes, it has to be a horror movie. You picked a stupid romcom last time,” Jeonghan teased. “It’s my turn. Are you free?” He turns to Y/N.

Between bites of garlic bread, Y/N shakes her head. “No, I have a date. I’ll have to catch it another day.”

Jeonghan shrugs. “Suit yourself. We’re still talking about it after we both see it though.” 

“Who’s the next victim?” Seungcheol chortles. Y/N isn’t surprised that he’s already over his pouting. 

“You and these strong words,” Y/N admonishes. “Dating me doesn’t make someone a victim. Would you say the same thing about the girls Jeonghan dates?”

“Yes,” Seungcheol deadpans. Y/N and Jeonghan both show no reaction to the insult. “Now who is it? Please tell me it’s no one else from the basketball team. I already have to rethink my starters.”

“Lee Seokmin,” Y/N gives a dreamy smile. 

“Let me guess, he’s the one this time,” Jeonghan teases.

“Just like everyone else before him,” Seungcheol tacks on with a chuckle. “Where’d you meet the poor guy?”

Y/N is unfazed by their teasing. “Creative writing class. He’s so sweet, and funny, and have you seen his arms?”

They haven’t, but this sort of comment doesn’t surprise them. Y/N was a little bit of a hopeless romantic. She believed in love at first sight and seemed to feel it frequently, but she also seemed to fall out of love just as fast. But that pattern didn’t seem to matter because just about any straight man on campus would wait their turn patiently, and even some women. Seungcheol and Jeonghan both knew it. All she had to do is bat her eyes and smile sweetly and people were falling at her feet. She just had that sort of affect on people without even realizing it.

“Be gentle,” Seungcheol reminds like he knows where this is going to go. 

“No, I feel really good about this one, Cheol,” Y/N insists animatedly. “What’s not to like?”

“Whatever you say, angel,” Jeonghan placates. “I hope it goes well.” 

It did go well. Really well, in fact. Seokmin was a total gentleman as much as he was a total goofball. It looked like the waiter wanted to kick them out with how disruptive they were being during dinner, so they cut dinner short and went for a walk around the park. He held her hand and offered her his jacket when she got cold. When they arrive at the front door of the sorority house, he presses a kiss to the back of her hand and doesn’t move until she’s inside and has locked the door. Perfect. Gentleman. 

Y/N collapses into bed that night with a dreamy sigh. When her phone vibrates with a text from Seokmin, she immediately agrees to go out with him again. 

~

Lee Seokmin is riding on a high. Things are good. Classes only started a couple weeks ago, but they seem like they’ll be a breeze. This gives him plenty of time to prepare for his upcoming audition in the fall play that the Theatre department is putting on. He thinks he might actually have a shot at the lead role this time. His friend, Junhui, thinks so too after running lines with him. 

And then there’s Y/N. Seokmin sighs dreamily. She’s pretty, funny, and smart - the full package. They share a creative writing class this semester and when they were paired up to peer review their first assignment, he’s not sure what possessed him, but he just shot his shot. Amazingly, she said yes. And their date had gone so well that he didn’t hesitate long to ask for another one. And she’d said yes to that too! 

He’s been unable to wipe the dopey smile off his face as he walks into the library and finds his group members already there. They were asked to pair up for a semester long project in their psychology course and it was simple to look around and find the two guys sitting closest to him in the back of the class. Neither of them seemed to care who they were partnered up with either, so they exchanged numbers and agreed to meet this afternoon. 

He knew of Kim Mingyu, the star basketball player. He didn’t know of Lee Jihoon until this class. He was apparently a music major and spent a lot of time in the Fine Arts building. Both guys greet him as he sits down. They’re friendly, but not overly so, which makes sense because they’d never had a conversation before last week. “You seem way too cheerful,” Jihoon comments lightly, though Seokmin’s not sure he really cares for a response. 

“Just in a good mood,” Seokmin chirps. 

Mingyu is not nice, not today anyway. He sighs grumpily, opening his laptop. “I have some things to do in a bit. Can we get started?” 

They have to propose an experiment or case study in a couple weeks, which they will turn in by the end of the semester. It could be on any Psychology topic, which offers an overwhelming amount of options as they flip through the textbook. After a few internet searches, they start offering suggestions. Jihoon proposes that they do something with music - maybe how someone’s music taste correlates with their personality. He says there are already so many personality tests out there that they can use and they’d just have to build a simple survey for music tastes. Mingyu recommends something to do with testing short term memory, like a brain game of some sort which they can just recruit their friends for. Something easy to set up, time, and pop into a graph. Seokmin is intrigued by the idea of peoples’ perceptions of beauty and how facial symmetry impacts it. It’s admittedly less thought through than the other ideas because he doesn’t have any idea how to carry out an experiment like that - but give him a break! He’s a theatre major! He wouldn’t be in this class at all if it wasn’t a requirement!

“Do you have a model with perfect facial symmetry that we can borrow for that experiment if we choose it?” Jihoon asks and Seokmin knows he’s not asking seriously. 

Still Seokmin says, “Yes!” Then, he hums. “Well, I don’t know if she’s ever modeled, but I think she’d fit the bill. It’s the girl I’ve been seeing.” 

Jihoon and Mingyu don’t look totally displeased with the idea. “Oh? Let me see,” Mingyu insists. Seokmin feels really proud to show off Y/N’s latest Instagram photo. That is, until Mingyu takes one look at Seokmin’s phone and spits, “Oh, fuck no!”

Jihoon grabs the phone and Seokmin is hoping for a better reaction. He doesn’t get it. Jihoon scoffs, rolling his eyes so hard his head rolls back. 

“What? You guys don’t think she’s pretty?!” Seokmin says loudly, almost forgetting he’s in a library. It’s such a crazy concept to him because she’s not the campus it girl for nothing. He’s known her name for two years now for a reason.

“Yeah, she’s pretty, but she’s a raging bitch,” Mingyu says heatedly. Seokmin is taken aback. Y/N seemed so sweet, Mingyu must have the wrong idea. 

Jihoon snorts. “Yeah, something like that.” 

Seokmin locks his phone, confused. “Have you guys met her or something?” 

“Who hasn’t?” Mingyu rolls his eyes. 

Jihoon shakes his head, looking at Seokmin with pity. “Man, take my word for it. That’s going nowhere fast.” 

“No? She seems so sweet.” Seokmin sounds like he’s trying to convince himself. 

“Mhm,” Jihoon hums. “Tell me, where did she want to go for your first date?” 

Seokmin frowns. “What does that have to do with anything?” 

“Let me guess,” Mingyu looked at Seokmin pointedly. “That sushi place on the north side of campus? Near the hospital?” 

Seokmin frowns deeper, voice turning small. “How did you know that?”

“That’s where she and I went a few weeks ago, before she dumped me. I got exactly three dates with her,” Mingyu snapped. Seokmin couldn’t tell if this anger was directed at her or maybe directed at him for being the next guy she dated. 

Jihoon laughs coldly. “Same, except it was over the summer.” 

Seokmin huffs defensively. “There’s nothing wrong with dating around. Besides, things are going well. We really clicked!” 

“How many dates have you had?” Mingyu asked. Seokmin meekly answers and Mingyu nods, lips pursed. “Then you have two more at the most. Enjoy it while it lasts.”

“Needless to say, we can do your idea, but we won’t be using her as a model,” Jihoon tacks on. 

Now, Seokmin isn’t one to be deterred. He really likes Y/N, so he agrees with Jihoon’s experiment idea if only to move on with the day. He's sure that Mingyu and Jihoon have it all wrong. They’re just bitter that it didn’t work out with someone as perfect as her. Seokmin had forgotten to ask, but he’s so sure they must have done something to run her off. 

The next night, he picks Y/N up from the sorority house and they have a great time going to see a musical at the community theatre. She seems tired by the time they get back to the sorority house, so he kisses her on the cheek and lets her go in. After all, she said she’d had cheer practice earlier that afternoon. He keeps that in mind for scheduling future dates. 

For their third date, Seokmin finds himself at the movie theater watching the latest horror movie. He is not a horror fan by a long shot, but he’s not brave enough to tell her that when she suggests it. She seems totally unfazed by every single gory scene and jump scare, while Seokmin is doing everything he can to keep it together. Not his best night. 

But she’s sweet and holds his hand throughout the movie. He shyly apologizes when they stop in front of the sorority house and says that horror is not his typical choice. She shrugs and kisses his cheek before going inside. 

A few days later, Seokmin sends Y/N a message asking if he can take her out again. He’s walking to the library to meet his psych group members when the fated text comes through. ‘Hi Seokmin! Thank you for the offer. You’re so sweet, but I don’t think I’m interested in pursuing anything further with you. I’m sorry and I hope you understand!’

Seokmin hates how smug Kim Mingyu looks when Seokmin slumps in his chair with none of the cheerfulness he had last time they met. “We were right, weren’t we?” 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Seokmin mumbled. He thinks he might cry so he busies himself with his laptop. 

Jihoon pats his back a couple times. “That’s tough, man. I wish we hadn’t been right, but you know…”

“No, I don’t know. I have no clue what I did wrong,” Seokmin lamented, frustration bleeding into his voice. 

“That’s just what she does,” Mingyu shrugs. He’s not so angry now, maybe because misery loves company. Maybe because the guy after him also got dumped. 

Jihoon cursed. “Speak of the devil.” 

Mingyu and Seokmin follow Jihoon’s eyes and Seokmin really thinks he might cry. Y/N is standing with Jeong Jaehyun near the History section half way across the second floor balcony, but they aren’t really looking at the books. He’s leaning way too close to whisper in her ear and Y/N’s hand lands on his chest. Seokmin hopes it’s to push him away, but it’s not. She gives him the same sweet smile when he pulls away from her ear.

“Damn, she moves fast,” Jihoon mutters. “When did she break it off with you?” 

Seokmin’s head is in his hands. “She sent me a message on my way here.” He doesn’t have to look up because he hears the hiss of sympathy both of them let out. They’d at least had a few days to breathe before they found out she’d already moved on to someone else. 

“Come on,” Mingyu says, standing up to pack his bag. “We can do this over drinks, right? You look like you need one.”

Seokmin doesn’t have much to say, even when a glass of liquor is put in front of him, along with a plate of greasy bar food. Mingyu and Jihoon have plenty to say though. 

Jihoon met Y/N over the summer at a bar. His friends wanted to get him out of the house and he’d begrudgingly agreed. He met Y/N while he was getting himself a drink and he thought she was gorgeous, but he didn’t say anything to her initially besides a simple ‘excuse me’. While he was waiting for his drink though, she gave him a heart stopping smile and introduced herself. Now, Jihoon admits that he’s not the warmest person, but Y/N is and it was totally disarming.

However, after three dates, she said he was sweet, but she just wasn’t interested in pursuing anything further with him. 

Mingyu knew her through his captain from the basketball team - she’s his twin. He had always been enamored with her but he saw a revolving door of men around her all the time and was just waiting for the right moment. That opportunity presented itself at the twins’ birthday party in early August. He gave her a little gift and she gave him a heart stopping smile. They hooked up that night and then went on three subsequent dates. 

But just like Jihoon, she said he was sweet, but she just wasn’t interested in pursuing anything further with him. 

Seokmin could openly weep now with how obviously he’d been played because she’d used that exact phrase in her text. Mingyu and Jihoon seem genuinely sympathetic. “Don’t take it personally. We’re far from the first victims,” Jihoon insists. “If it makes you feel any better, Jaehyun is just next in line for the slaughter.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, I’m sure of it,” Mingyu adds. “Maybe one day she’ll get a taste of her own medicine.” At this point, they’ve all abandoned the idea of working on their project, backpacks sitting on the grimy bar floor under the table. This little therapy session is more important to them it seems. 

“Wouldn’t that be nice? Someone to reel her in only to toss her out?” Jihoon chortled. It seems unlikely given everything he’s seen and heard now. She seems to do most of the reeling in and tossing out. 

Seokmin’s not sure that would make him feel better anyway. He finishes his dinner and drink, agreeing to meet them again in a couple days to actually do some work on their proposal. Seokmin goes to bed early that night.

~

“Jeong Jaehyun, huh?” Jeonghan raises an eyebrow at Y/N as they eat a late lunch. They’re sitting in the courtyard today to get some sun. Seungcheol is in class, so it’s just the two of them. 

Y/N gives him a big smile. “Yeah. He asked me out earlier this week. Isn’t he cute?”

“So cute,” Jeonghan snorts. She knows he doesn’t give a shit about how cute Jaehyun is. “What happened to Lee Seokmin? Or are you doubling up again?” He doesn’t mean it unkindly, just curiously. It would be hypocritical of him to give her a hard time about it anyway because he’s been known to do the same thing on occasion. 

Y/N’s smile dims a little. “He took me to a musical and he doesn’t like horror movies.”

“Ah,” Jeonghan laughs at her misfortune. “Did you tell him you hate musicals? And that liking horror movies is kind of a requirement?” 

Y/N sighs. “I was hoping the musical would be tolerable. He’s such a sweet guy and seemed excited about it. And he didn’t say anything about it when I suggested the horror movie, but then he nearly broke my hand. It wasn’t even that scary, was it?!” This last part is plea for understanding. 

Jeonghan agrees instantly, though he doesn’t really need to. They’d already talked about how bad it was for hours. “No, it was very lame and incredibly predictable. 3/10 at best.”

“Right?!” Y/N scoffs. “Anyway, I’m going out with Jaehyun on Friday. Don’t tell Seungcheol.”

“I’m sure I don’t have to… Jaehyun has been bragging constantly about it, and you know how locker room talk gets around, particularly with the basketball team,” Jeonghan explains. After a beat, he adds, “Maybe you should be careful with this one. Don’t put out right away at least. Make him work for it a little.”

Y/N hums. “Maybe. You know it’s never really about that though. Plus, you know I don’t care about the locker room talk.”

Jeonghan pats her hand comfortingly. “I know, angel.” He does know both of those things. He knows how she gets swept up in the romance of it all at first, or at least the idea of it, and if sex happens then it happens. And he also knows that she’s great at ignoring the locker room talk later because she’s already moved on by the time it gets back around to her. But the locker room talk bothers him and he regularly runs interference to keep it in check. He’s definitely not above making a few threats for his best friend. But as long as she’s happy, Jeonghan is too. 

~

Seokmin joins Mingyu and Jihoon in the courtyard in the early afternoon because none of them wanted to be in the dark and stuffy library. He sits between them at the round table and they immediately pin him with a look. “Do you want to move?” Jihoon asks, pointing across the courtyard. “We were debating on finding somewhere else to meet.”

Seokmin sees Y/N a few tables away but her back is turned to him. Seokmin has to get over this sooner rather than later and ruminating over her or whoever the guy sitting with her is won’t help much. He shares a class with her - one that he needs for his degree so he can’t drop it.

So he shrugs. “No, we can stay if you guys are okay with it. It’s nice out. New victim?” Seokmin asks, gesturing to the guy she’s with. The question comes out totally neutral because he’s feeling pretty numb about the whole thing.

Mingyu shakes his head. “No, that’s Yoon Jeonghan. She and Seungcheol have been friends with him since they were in diapers apparently. Jeonghan is basically the male version of Y/N from what I hear.” 

“A match made in hell,” Jihoon chuckles darkly. 

They all get out their laptops and textbooks to begin the proposal. Not a single one of them care much for this class, so it starts to feel like pulling teeth to get words on the shared document. For the thousandth time, Mingyu is reaching to his keyboard again, when dings and buzzes echo across the courtyard. Many people pick up their phones, including Mingyu. 

Except, while others start excitedly whispering, Mingyu sighs. “Forgot I turned that on,” he mumbles, opening something on his phone.

“You good?” Seokmin asks, glancing around the courtyard. He’s clearly missed something, and so has Jihoon, because both of their phones stay silent.

“The university gossip twitter. I had notifications on, which aren’t important anymore.” He’s pressing a few things and then he slides the phone to Seokmin and Jihoon. “That’s why.”

It’s a picture of Y/N and Jaehyun in the library, the exact sight the three of them had seen the other day, just from another angle. The caption said, ‘Choi Y/N and Jeong Jaehyun? How does the captain feel about this?’

Jihoon chuckles. “Tasteless. Not like she has any shame anyway,” he says, pointing a few tables over. Y/N and Jeonghan are giggling at something on his phone, probably the same thing they’re looking at. 

“Yeah, she’s a popular topic on there. The comments get kind of weird sometimes though. Look,” Mingyu says scrolling through them. “Everyone seems to love them together already. They always do. They liked you with her too, Seokmin.” 

Mingyu scrolls to a couple weeks ago. There’s no image, just a basic text post that says, ‘Choi Y/N spotted with Lee Seokmin. Didn’t know she was into theatre majors!!’ Under that post, so many people were gushing either about how cute they were together, or how jealous they were of Seokmin. There are even a few positive comments about Seokmin individually and he had no idea he had any admirers before reading this. Everything about it feels strange considering the way she dates around.

Seokmin huffed. “That’s a case study in conformity if I’ve ever seen it.”

He means it as a joke, but he catches Mingyu and Jihoon glancing at each other. “You… have a good point. Not that I care to get a good grade - no offense, but I just need to pass - but this basically writes itself,” Jihoon says slowly. 

“Conformity in social media. I don’t hate it,” Mingyu shrugs. “But it would have to be a case study. I don’t know how we’d manipulate what’s on here to make it an experiment.”

“No one knows who runs this account?” Seokmin asks curiously. He doesn’t really care what they write this paper about, or care to know who runs such an account, but it’s kind of intriguing when he sees the follower count. Half the student body must keep an eye on this single account and yet it’s still anonymous?

“Even if we did, what would our game plan be? I mean, we can’t hack it,” Jihoon laughs.

But Mingyu is suddenly chuckling darkly. “We can’t, but maybe someone else could.” Then he’s standing and Seokmin’s about to scold him for abandoning their assignment yet again. Mingyu waves at them to join, tossing his backpack over his shoulder. “Come on. This counts as work for the assignment, I promise.”

~

Wonwoo wakes up to a kick on his leg. He grumbles, blinking slowly and picking the book up off his face. He had been reading while laying in the grass in the quad, but the book was also a great cover to keep the sun out of his eyes for a little power nap. He blinks in the glare of the sunlight and then groans because he recognizes who kicked him, or at least the general shape. He’s seen Mingyu loom over him like this to wake him up too many times in their two years as roommates. 

“What do you want? I’m busy,” Wonwoo puts the book back over his face. 

Mingyu gets right to the point. “What would you need to know to be able to hack into a twitter account or find out who owns it?”

It’s not the weirdest question he’s ever gotten from Mingyu, so he stays under the book. “The username and free lunch for a week to start.”

“Done.” 

Odd. Usually there’s more of a fight for the terms of something like this. Wonwoo lifts the book, but there’s a phone shoved in his face. When he spots the username, he laughs. “Oh, yeah. Not sure how much luck you’re going to have with that one.”

“Why not? You can’t do it?” Mingyu asked curiously.

Wonwoo is back under the book. “I’ve never tried, but plenty of my classmates have. The power that account holds around here is legendary and a lot of people want their hands on it, but whoever runs it has incredible password hygiene and knows how to spot a phishing email. And the account uses a dead-end email address that connects back to no one in particular, so tracing it hasn’t worked for anyone so far either.” 

“So you can’t do it?” Mingyu presses. 

Wonwoo sighs, closing the book to stare up at his roommate. So much for his nap. “I didn’t say that. I’d still want free lunch for a week if I attempt it - keyword being ‘attempt’. Plus, you need to tell me why you need it. I believe in ethical hacking, remember.”

“It’s for a group project,” Mingyu says vaguely. Wonwoo now realizes it’s not just Mingyu standing around him. Two other guys are with him and they look pretty confused. 

Wonwoo sits up. “What the fuck kind of a project are you working on that you need access to an account like that?”

“Psychology.” Another vague answer. 

Wonwoo decides it’s not worth it to ask anymore questions. “I’ll see what I can do. But I have to do it at home. There are some things you shouldn’t do on university wifi, you know?”

“Great, thanks! Enjoy your nap. See you at home,” Mingyu waves, turning away. The two guys follow him, still looking terribly confused. Wonwoo isn’t going back to sleep now, so he picks up the book again and starts reading. A problem for another time.

~

“Him? Are you serious?” Seokmin asked.

“Not sure why, but I kind of expected some catty sorority girl,” Jihoon frowned.

Mingyu stared. “Wonwoo insisted he was sure.”

Late last night, Wonwoo had busted into Mingyu’s room, announcing that he’d done it. He said it wasn’t easy and it had taken a couple days, but he looked rather pleased with himself when he shoved his phone in Mingyu’s face. An Instagram account was pulled up on it. Wonwoo rambles something about IP addresses, cloud accounts, and traffic on the same network, which means very little to Mingyu who is used to mechanical and architectural engineering. When asked, Wonwoo says he’s 99.9% sure, with the remaining .1% implying that someone else could be using the same device on the same account and network. He unfortunately has no way of being totally certain that that’s not the case. Good enough for Mingyu.

“Sure enough to walk up and ask Boo Seungkwan for his twitter account?” Seokmin asks skeptically. The three of them are standing across the way from the Journalism and Communications building, watching Seungkwan scroll on his phone while he sits on a bench. 

“Is this really necessary? Do we need control of the account to do this? Like Seokmin said yesterday, the case study kind of writes itself,” Jihoon argues. 

Mingyu’s given this some thought. Or a lot, actually. “Hear me out,” he starts, because his two group members look so doubtful. “This could have a dual purpose. We could just write the case study… or we could try to gain some control over the account to start manipulating what gets posted and create an experiment. Plus… it might be a little bit of revenge.”

Seokmin nearly walks away. “Can’t we just do the music idea that Jihoon came up with? I’m not interested in revenge, I’d just like to forget those three dates and move on.”

“What kind of revenge?” Jihoon entertains, ignoring Seokmin’s argument. 

“I’m open to suggestions, but I was wondering what the response would be if the tone of the account changes. I mean, it’s never written as a bad thing if she moves on fast. I can’t imagine why it would when the account gets the kind of interaction it does. But I can’t help wondering what would happen if it was painted as a negative thing,” Mingyu explains.

Seokmin frowns. “You want to start a smear campaign?”

Mingyu looks at him with a mixture of confusion and anger. “What? You don’t think she deserves it?” 

Maybe she does, Seokmin thinks. Because here she comes, hand in hand with Jaehyun. Seokmin can’t believe that he can’t just avoid her on a campus this big. They’re chatting and smiling as they walk past the three of them. She even makes brief eye contact with Seokmin and has the gall to smile. Seokmin’s eyes are still following them when Jihoon sucks in a breath, hitting Seokmin in the chest to get his attention. 

Boo Seungkwan has his phone up now, taking a picture of them as they walk away, none the wiser. He taps a few times on his phone and then Mingyu’s phone dings. Mingyu looks pleased because Wonwoo was absolutely right, no 99.9% about it.

Seokmin huffs. “Fine. Let’s see what he says.” 

Mingyu takes the lead and Seungkwan looks at them curiously when they approach. “Boo Seungkwan?” Mingyu asks.

Seungkwan’s smile has a layer of something unsettling to it. “Kim Mingyu. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“We’d like to make a deal with you,” Mingyu says and Seungkwan looks intrigued. “We want access to your twitter account for a while. Name your price.”

“What twitter account?” Seungkwan says evenly. “I don’t even have one.”

“We just watched you take that picture and post it to the university gossip account,” Jihoon insists coolly. “I’d think you’d be more careful to not get caught since it’s anonymous.”

Seungkwan eyes the three of them carefully now. Finally, he says, “Say I knew what you were talking about, which I don’t; you’d have to make me a pretty incredible offer.”

“Name it,” Mingyu says simply. 

After a few more beats of silence, Seungkwan stands. “Follow me. This conversation  needs to be more private.” 

Inside the Journalism and Communications building, Seungkwan closes the door behind them in an empty study room. “How in the fuck did you know it was me? It wasn’t because of the picture I just posted. You guys had been watching me for nearly ten minutes already,” he snaps, totally losing the cool facade from outside.

“I know a guy,” Mingyu answers lamely. Seungkwan looked less than satisfied with the answer, so Mingyu continued. “He said your password was too good to guess anytime soon, but he was able to trace it back to you with quite a bit of certainty.”

“You tried to hack me?!” Seungkwan seethes. “Why on earth would you do that?” 

“It’s for a project. We’d like to use it to take Choi Y/N down a peg.”

Seungkwan reels back and laughs at Jihoon’s explanation, all the anger from a moment ago replaced by glee. “Oh, I see now. A few bitter exes wanting to get their lick back.” He plops down in one of the chairs, looking smug. “You know, you’re not the first to ask me that, but you are the first to successfully track me down in two years. Usually they just DM the twitter account, begging for a mean post about her.”

“As they should,” Mingyu insists. “You’ve seen what she does to men over and over.”

“And that’s really none of my business outside of this account,” Seungkwan answers diplomatically. “Y/N is a sweet girl that just happens to gets a lot of attention. She’s a favorite for my followers. No other subject does as good as she does on the account. Why would I want to ruin that?”

“Because she doesn’t just date around. She treats people like they’re disposable,” Seokmin finds himself snapping. He thinks it’s ironic when he defended her the same way Seungkwan is just a couple weeks ago, but that’s when he still thought he might be different. There was nothing wrong with dating around. But there might be something wrong if you make everyone you see feel special before cutting things off out of nowhere. 

“And I’m sure she’s sorry it didn’t work out,” Seungkwan said with such certainty that it made the three men look at him like he was crazy. “But I haven’t heard an offer yet. Or what this ‘project’ is for, for that matter,” Seungkwan folds his hands on the table expectantly. 

A lot of it is off the cuff because their proposal document is still very blank besides the headers, but they all explain, eventually sitting down at the table with him. Seungkwan is quiet for a long time. Seokmin thinks he might even look conflicted or that he’s getting ready to turn them down. But they’ve promised to give him plenty of content to post and that’s what finally makes him sigh.

“I’ll pull the plug on all of this as soon as I think it’s getting out of hand. And you guys will not have access to the account, but you can have a say in what gets posted.” His expression turns sly. “In exchange for the cooperation of your hacker.” 

Mingyu frowns. He’s not sure he can talk Wonwoo into anything more since he’s all out of IOUs. “Why would you need that? What do you have in mind?”

“I can explain if you make the introductions. I take it this person has some development experience?” Mingyu shrugs in response to Seungkwan’s question, not quite ready to reveal his roommate’s identity. “I have a little project of my own that he could help me with. And I think it could be of use in your project too.”

Mingyu, Jihoon, and Seokmin glance at each other. Finally, they all nod. “I’ll make it work,” Mingyu promises, desperately hoping it wasn’t empty.

~

Wonwoo folds in half with tears in his eyes. He’s sitting in the engineering building between classes having a snack when Mingyu approaches him with another request. The two guys from yesterday are with him again, but they look less confused now. Wonwoo has since learned that their names are Seokmin and Jihoon. Wonwoo’s not terribly surprised that Boo Seungkwan is with them today too. He assumes he didn’t track him down for nothing. 

Mingyu looks annoyed. “You owe me one,” he reminds and Wonwoo calls his bluff right away. 

“I don’t. Finding him,” Wonwoo points to Seungkwan while wiping his eyes, “was your favor. We’re even now. Besides, I’m swamped. I can’t possibly pick up another project on the side.”

“It doesn’t have to be pretty. Keep it simple. I just need to have access to an admin account,” Seungkwan smoothly says. 

“You know I’ve never built anything like that, right? Existing vendors keep a tight lid on how their algorithm works for a reason,” Wonwoo argues. 

“It doesn’t have to be complex. Plus, that’s why the admin account is necessary. I want to manipulate the matches on occasion,” Seungkwan insists. 

Wonwoo blankly looks between the four men because he can’t believe they’re so serious, finally landing on his roommate. “Tell me right now why you’re asking me to build a dating app. Is this for your ‘psych’ project too?” He asks jokingly, but loses all humor when Mingyu nods. 

“We should just tell him,” Jihoon insists to Mingyu. “Surely he doesn’t like her either.”

Mingyu frowns for a moment. Eventually, he asks, “How would you like to help us take down Choi Y/N?” 

Wonwoo did not want to. Don’t get him wrong, he didn’t care much for her, but he didn’t hate her and didn’t really care to give her anymore attention. “Sounds like some project… I’ll pass - on both your psych/revenge project and the dating app.”

Mingyu scoffs down at his roommate. “Please? What do you want for it?” 

“Money, at the very least. I’ll get very little satisfaction out of whatever you guys are planning, I’m sure,” Wonwoo says. He’s hoping they’ll drop it now. They’re all broke college students after all. Money is such a precious commodity.

So he’s amazed to see all of them shrug. “Name your price,” Seokmin says easily.

Wonwoo’s eyes are narrowed skeptically now. “Pay my part of the rent this month. I’m saving for a new PC.” He wants to laugh when they agree again. Those that aren’t his roommate don’t even ask how much it is. “Now, tell me what you guys were thinking.”

~ 

In the next two weeks, Seungkwan had changed his tone on the twitter account. It was subtle at first. A few words like, ‘Already?’ Or ‘She moves on fast,’ were peppered into a post occasionally. They wanted to see how well each post performed and what kind of comments they got based on the tone and word choices used. 

However, it became apparent that it didn’t matter that she was already done with Jaehyun and the guy after him, already spotted with another guy entirely. It didn’t seem like they were even getting the typical three dates. But the interaction stats stayed about the same, as did the comments. Encouraging, begging, and overwhelmingly supportive. The group is forced to rethink their approach while Wonwoo finishes the dating app. 

“Why does everyone fall for it?” Jihoon laments, scrolling through the account. 

“She’s charming,” Seungkwan replies easily. He’s not stressed about any of this because his account is doing well and his app is on the way. That means that anytime now he can start on his own plan to set up as many horrible matches as possible. He’s going to be writing a ‘bad date’ column in the student paper and while there are surely plenty of those out there already, a few more wouldn’t hurt. “You guys fell for it too.”

“Who wouldn’t?” Seokmin said solemnly. He had already drafted up the alternative proposal for their project in preparation for all of this to fail. It didn’t feel great to talk so much about Y/N either since it was still a sore subject for him.

“I don’t know. There has to be someone impervious to her charm,” Mingyu sighed, long giving up on scrolling. 

Seungkwan laughed and it made the three of them snap their heads to him. “Just pay someone for it. It seems that you guys aren’t above that and surely someone wouldn’t mind to make a buck.”

Seokmin looks doubtful. “You think we should find a plant?”

“Sure. When I have my admin account I can even make sure they match,” Seungkwan shrugs. None of them really have to ask if Y/N will even download the app when it’s available. They know she will because she’s on all of the other dating apps.

“Who would we even draft for that sort of thing? She doesn’t go back to people after the fact, so it would have to be someone that has never dated her. That might be a short list,” Mingyu insists. 

“I’d say find someone new to the university, like a freshman, but that’s not typically her style. But a transfer could work?” Seungkwan suggests. 

Wonwoo slides into the seat next to Mingyu, interrupting them. “Some of the logic you asked for has been a pain in the ass, but you’ll be able to try it out tomorrow with some test data,” he tells Seungkwan, who immediately looks pleased. 

“Wonwoo, would you know how to find a list of incoming male students? Not necessarily freshman,” Jihoon asks.

Wonwoo looks at him blankly. “This is getting very expensive for you guys. But yes,” Wonwoo admits, resigned. “My work study is in the university’s IT office. It’s all in a database.”

“Would you mind pulling us a list?” Mingyu asks, giving his most charming smile. 

Wonwoo rolls his eyes, flatly saying, “Go get me lunch. I’ll see what I can do.” As Mingyu hops up, Wonwoo sighs, getting out his laptop. He’s beginning to regret whatever he’s agreed to and doesn’t wish to know anymore about what they’re using all of this for. 

But ten minutes later, he still slides his computer to them and they crowd around. He’s given them a spreadsheet with the student name, declared major, and current credit hours achieved. They’re meticulous about going through the list of approximately twenty people. They eliminate most for various reasons after looking them up and come back to one in particular. 

“Joshua Hong.  He has enough credits to be a senior. Isn’t that weird to transfer so late?” Seokmin asks. They all agree, but Wonwoo doesn’t have access to anything prior to him being enrolled here at the moment so it remains a mystery as to why Joshua’s transferred so late.

“He’s a biology major though. That could work in our favor because Y/N is too,” Seungkwan adds. “Plus, he’s attractive enough to be her type.” He shows them Joshua’s Instagram account and they have to agree. He’s handsome. 

“Worth a try…” Mingyu murmurs, before turning to Wonwoo to grin again. “Do you have access to his class schedule? And Y/N’s for that matter?”

Wonwoo stares for a long moment before sighing. “Go get me an iced americano.” He watches Seokmin jump up this time and Wonwoo really is regretting what he’s gotten himself into. 

~

Joshua feels eyes on him. He’s in the courtyard near the Science building, working on an assignment between classes, but he keeps getting this tingle up his spine that he can’t explain. He’s glanced around the courtyard but doesn’t see anyone that looks particularly interested in him. 

Until there’s a tap on his shoulder, that is. There are few guys there and he has no idea where they came from or how they snuck up on him. Joshua tries to smile politely but he’s confused. It’s not like people had been unfriendly, but being new means most people don’t approach you first. Everyone already has their cliques and it’s unlikely Joshua will be invited into the fold of any of them. It’s a completely expected hazard of transferring as a senior. “Hi? Can I help you?” He asks. His eyes widen when the three of them sit down at the table with him without an invitation. 

“Joshua, right?” One guy says, but he doesn’t really wait for an answer. “I’m Kim Mingyu.” 

Ah. That rings a bell because Joshua was wondering where he’d seen him before. Joshua had waited on him at work once before. “Uh, yeah! Nice to meet you.”

Mingyu gives a charming smile. The guy is charismatic, Joshua will give him that. “This is Jihoon and Seokmin. We were wondering if you could help us with something.” 

Joshua is starting to feel a little suspicious, but he nods slowly, “Maybe. What is it?”

No one says anything right away and his suspicion is growing. Finally, Jihoon speaks up. Joshua thinks he also recognizes him from serving him at work too, now that he thinks about it. “Have you had the pleasure of meeting Choi Y/N yet?”

Joshua’s eyes narrow because Jihoon doesn’t say it like it’s really a pleasure. “Not personally, no… we have a couple classes together, but I’ve never spoken to her.” 

“What do you think about her so far?” Mingyu prompts.

Joshua must look totally confused but they seem to actually be waiting on an answer. So he shrugs nonchalantly. “She’s pretty and seems friendly enough, but she seems like a bit of a flirt.” That earns three scoffs and his eyes widen. “I’m totally lost, guys. Why are you asking me this?”

“Just trying to get a read on if you’ll be willing to help us,” Mingyu says casually. 

“I’d prefer you not beat around the bush and just ask for the favor,” Joshua insists. He doesn’t care for their riddles or quizzes. Plus, he really wanted to finish this assignment because he works tonight.

When Seokmin speaks, Joshua’s jaw drops. Then he laughs at how absurd the pitch is. He can’t help it. “You guys can’t be serious.”

“Very serious. She’s played all of us and she’ll keep playing people until someone does something about it,” Mingyu snaps and the intensity of it surprises Joshua. Mingyu must not have taken it well when she ended things, much like Minghao said she would. 

“And you want me to, as you say, ‘reel her in and dump her’.” It’s not a question because he’s just repeating what Seokmin said a few moments ago. “Also, why me? There are a ton of guys that would be all over the opportunity to spend some time with her. I’ve seen it myself.”

“You’re new and just her type. She doesn’t go back to someone once she dumps them, so it has to be someone totally new to the scene,” Jihoon insists. 

“Uh huh,” Joshua says, totally unconvinced. “So, what? I ask her out, take her on a few dates, and then tell her I’m not interested?” 

“Yes!” The three of them cry like they’re thrilled he gets it and Joshua’s eyes go wide again. 

“You didn’t even ask if I was single,” Joshua laughs humorlessly. He thinks they must be clinically insane. 

“Your Instagram screams ‘single’,” Mingyu deadpans. Joshua doesn’t really have an answer for that because he is, in fact, very single. But he is increasingly disturbed by the thought they’ve put into this, including stalking his social media to know that. “Look, what do you want for it? We’re open to making a deal.”

Joshua can’t believe they’re so serious. Their animosity towards Y/N is overpowering and totally toxic. “There’s nothing wrong with dating around. She must not feel like she’s found the right person yet.”

“Yeah, you kind of have to give it more than a few dates to be sure of that though. She barely gets to know anyone,” Jihoon presses. 

It makes Joshua laugh again. “Have you ever considered that the guys that chase after her are walking red flags and she can see that within just a few dates?” He recognizes he could be offending all three of them, but he finds he doesn’t care much. Yes, she’s a flirt and seems a little flighty, but what they’re talking about doing in response is so… malicious. 

“I can’t believe you’re taking her side,” Mingyu looks stunned. “You should see the way she’s done this since she got here. I wouldn’t be surprised if she did it before, too. She’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing and she deserves to be exposed for it.”

“And how are you going to expose her for that? If I do anything, which I haven’t agreed to, it would be a few dates before I cut it off. That’s it. I’m not out to publicly humiliate anyone. How badly do you want to tear this poor girl apart?” Joshua asks sympathetically and he can see it burns all three of them up inside. 

“Show him,” Seokmin demands. Mingyu opens his phone, sliding it to Joshua. 

He wants to laugh because it’s an account on twitter. This feels a little too ‘Gossip Girl’ for him. But the more he scrolls, he sees that Choi Y/N is the Serena Van Der Woodson and Blair Waldorf of the account rolled into one. The post dates are alarmingly close, even occasionally overlapping, between sightings of her with a different guy nearly every time. Posts about her go back to early last semester and he stops scrolling because he’s sure there’s more beyond it. 

Joshua pushes the phone back to Mingyu with a sigh. “Look, I’m not totally unsympathetic about this. Getting dumped sucks. But this can only go wrong. It might hurt her, yes, and we can argue about whether she deserves it. But this could easily blow up in everyone’s faces. The collateral damage isn’t worth this. Just stop worrying about her or giving her attention.”

The three are silent and Joshua is relieved to see he has to go. He tells them it was nice to meet them, which feels a little like a lie, and packs up his things. Minghao would certainly laugh about Joshua’s weird afternoon later. 

~

Not for the first time, Joshua thinks that the world works in mysterious ways. He’s in his Biostats class, still reeling from the conversation in the courtyard, when the instructor announces they’ll be doing an in-class assignment with a partner today. And what do you know? He’s been randomly assigned to Y/N. 

He has to admit she’s pretty charming when she slides into the seat next to him and smiles. “Joshua, is it? Are you new? I haven’t really seen you around before.” 

Joshua nods, giving a polite smile in return. “Yes. I just transferred.” He busies himself with pulling up the dataset they would be working with today. They get to work and he can totally understand why she has men lining up. He was already aware that she was pretty, but she was incredibly intelligent and quick witted as well. He keeps a polite smile on his face but tries not to feed into it. He might think that those three insane guys were a little too intense about their plot for revenge, but he doesn’t want to be roped in. 

However, they’re such an efficient team that they finish their assignment with nearly ten minutes left of class. He kind of expects Y/N to turn and talk to one of her friends or one of the many guys that are dramatically letting their partner down with all the staring they’re doing. Or at the very least, he kind of expects her to pick up her phone that’s been buzzing on the desk the whole time with notifications. 

Instead, she smiles at him. “So, are you pre med?” 

Another polite smile. “Yes. Are you?” 

She’s grinning now. “Yeah! I’m actually going to do an internship at the hospital next semester in the ER.”

Joshua is entertained by her enthusiasm and it could certainly be totally disarming. “I’m jealous. Not of the ER, to be clear. Just the internship.”

“You should apply!” Y/N encourages. “They have openings in a few departments. I can send you the link, if you’d like.”

He recognizes this for what it is immediately. He has his laptop open still and she could just pull it up for him in a new tab. Instead, she wants some way to contact him. 

But he knows how to ignore a message or block someone, so he slides her his unlocked phone. He could actually use the link anyway. She’s practiced at this sort of exchange, because she’s handing it back in moments. “I’ll send it to you later,” she promises. 

Joshua is relieved when the instructor dismisses class. He totally gets now why she has so much power. When she sends him the link with a short message later, he just responds with a ‘Thanks,” and a thumbs up, shutting down any further conversation. 

He’s met someone like her before and he won’t be falling for it again anytime soon. 

~

Jeonghan is holding Y/N’s head to his chest at their usual table in the library, and normally that would be nice of him to support one of his oldest friends and arguably his best friend, except for the fact that it’s totally patronizing. “My poor baby, I’m sorry you’re having a bad week.” 

Y/N scoffs in his chest but doesn’t push him away. There would be no point because then he’d start pinching her cheeks and cooing in her face. “You’re the worst. You don’t have an ounce of sympathy for me.”

“I do,” Jeonghan lies through his teeth, stroking her hair. “It’s just really funny and I wish I’d been there for all of it.” 

It seems that Y/N had pissed someone off. She wasn’t sure who, but in the last three weeks she’d been pranked on no less than five occasions. The firsts two were at the sorority house, so she hadn’t realized she was the primary target yet. Someone TP’d their house one night and just when the university’s custodial staff had cleaned it up and they thought they were safe, there was a smell creeping into the house. It was subtle at first, just small whiffs of it every now and then when you walk through the house. They clean the drains, wipe down the kitchen and bathrooms thoroughly, and take out the trash more frequently. But the smell begins to permeate every room. 

Pest control comes out and finds nothing, despite crawling through the attic and the unfinished basement which includes a crawl space. The tech thinks it’s coming from the vents but finds nothing there either. So the house mother calls an HVAC tech to come take a look. He crawls around in the vents as well and doesn’t find anything… before finally finding a dead fish in the AC unit outside, roasting in the heat of late summer. The girls have to keep the windows open with fans at full blast for days to get the smell out. Inconveniently, their security cameras didn’t catch anything for either event. 

A couple days later, Y/N meets Lee Chan in front of the Science building and they walk in together. She’s tutored a lot of people in her time here, but he’s her favorite after just a few weeks, hands down. They’re idly chatting as they walk upstairs and into the TA office, which is empty with the lights off. They get unpacked and Y/N’s butt barely touches the seat when an air horn goes off. She and Chan are totally scared shitless at such a sound at 8:30 in the morning, but sure enough, there’s an air horn under her rolling chair, set to go off as soon as she sits. Chan helps her remove it along with the duct tape from the leg of the chair and they laugh about such a juvenile prank despite their hearts racing. 

A couple days later, she comes in for her office hours after lunch. She’s greeting the girl she’ll be tutoring in physics today as she pumps some hand sanitizer into her palm. When she starts to rub her hands together, something doesn’t feel right. It’s sticky in a way that the alcohol content in hand sanitizer shouldn’t be and then it’s quickly drying in chunks. She’s horrified to realized that the container has been replaced with glue. Even though she washes her hands half a dozen times in the bathroom down the hall, she still can’t touch the poor girl’s paper or textbook without it sticking to her. Her sorority sisters tell her that night that nothing like that has happened to them and Y/N realizes she must be the main target. 

The most recent thing happened just this morning. Chan had met her again outside and when they flipped the light on in the office, there was a present sitting there. It’s wrapped nicely and it even has her name on it. She’s immediately suspicious and finds out quickly she had every right to be. Chan hands her a ruler from her desk drawer and she stands at arms length to flip the lid open - only to suddenly be covered in glitter. 

It occurs to her that Jeonghan might be dusting some of that glitter out of her hair instead of nicely stroking it to soothe her and she scoffs, finally pushing him away. She’d had time to stop by the house and change clothes, but not enough to shower. She sparkles a little every time she moves. “It’s not funny, Hannie. I don’t know what I did to deserve this!” 

“I don’t know. Maybe you pissed off the wrong person. Want me to look into it?” Jeonghan offers. She knows he’s serious about looking into it despite the hard time he’s just given her. He keeps glancing around them at the library every now and then and she’s getting a lot of looks. That’s because somehow all of these events have ended up on that stupid gossip twitter. She’s not sure how that’s happened, but people seem to be enjoying her suffering. Some of the comments have turned kind of mean and she’s getting tagged in each post dozens of times with laughing/crying emojis. Jeonghan had quietly taken her phone from her hands and closed out of the app when he found her scrolling through it earlier. 

“I think you need to find a new guy to take the heat off of all of this,” he says and she can’t tell if he’s joking or not. He’s never discouraged her dating, but he’s never openly encouraged it either. He usually says good luck like any good friend would when she announces she has a date and that’s it. 

She groans, swiping a hand down her arm to dust a couple specks of glitter off. “Yeah, that’s not going well either.”

Jeonghan gives her a perplexed look. “What do you mean? Just pick someone.” She doesn’t answer him so he raises an eyebrow. “Is there someone in particular?”

Y/N can’t help the pout that falls onto her lips. “There’s a guy in a couple of my classes but he doesn’t seem interested.” 

This intrigues Jeonghan because he’s never heard of such a thing before. “Have you asked him if he is? Maybe he’s just shy.”

“I don’t think so. He’s easy to talk to, but every time I drop hints he either misses them or ignores him, but I can’t tell which. Besides, I’m used to being asked rather than doing the asking. He’s cute and smart and totally disinterested,” Y/N says, totally deflating now. 

Jeonghan snorted. “Unlikely. Give it a little bit for him to warm up. Now, help me with this stupid math homework. I definitely didn’t listen yesterday in class.”

~

Joshua is paired up with Y/N again in class. She smiles when she sits down next to him but it’s not the normal thousand-watt smile that he and everyone else usually gets. He doesn’t ask and they start with their dataset. He’s having trouble with a formula when Y/N offers to help. He lets her pull the laptop to her and he watches her fingers fly over the keyboard. Her confidence at this is impressive, but that’s not what gets his attention. 

“Doing some art projects lately?” He muses lightly. She glances down at her hands and then huffs, wiping them on her skirt. 

“No, someone sent me a glitter bomb yesterday. I don’t think I’ll ever get all of it off. I’ll be sparkling for years to come,” she answers with much less enthusiasm than usual. 

Joshua can’t help but laugh outright because it sounds so absurd. “A glitter bomb? Why in the world would someone do that?”

Y/N glances at him and he can tell she’s clearly faking her amusement, kind of like she doesn’t just know how to let herself frown. “I don’t know, but it’s one of many pranks lately.” She slides the laptop back to him but he doesn’t take it back. 

There’s this nagging feeling in his chest and he’s not sure why, so he asks, “Does this happen to you often?” 

Y/N laughs humorlessly. “No. First someone TP’d the sorority house and put a dead fish in the AC unit. Then the air horn under the chair, and the glue in the hand sanitizer bottle, and then the glitter bomb yesterday. I’m not sure what I did, but someone’s having a lot of fun. It’s all ended up on that stupid gossip twitter account too.”

“A little overboard, huh?” He says sympathetically, and he might not be her biggest fan but he means it. Someone’s got a vendetta against her, that’s for sure. 

That nagging feeling doesn’t go away as he’s walking back to his dorm after class. On a whim, he opens twitter. Y/N didn’t lie, every single event she mentioned is on there, some with photos or videos in which she looks mortified. When he opens some of the comments, he thinks it’s no wonder she seems so miserable, even if these are technically harmless pranks. Some people are really enjoying this. He gathers that Y/N is usually pretty refined and put together, not a single hair out of place. She doesn’t look very refined walking out of an office covered in glitter or holding her hands out in front of her while they’re covered in glue. 

Joshua pockets his phone and looks around campus as he strolls. He spots some familiar figures in the courtyard and that nagging feeling is back. Enough for him to stop In the grass and watch them. They’re laughing really hard about something as they’re crowded around a computer. 

Joshua takes the long way to them, creeping up behind their backs. They’re watching the video of Y/N after the glitter bomb. 

“I should have known,” he says sternly. They wheel around to him fast and Jihoon slams his laptop shut. “Having a little prank war, are you? Actually, it doesn’t really count as a war if she can’t fight back.”

“She deserves it,” Mingyu says smugly, not bothering to deny it. “Didn't you see it?”

“Sure did, as well as the aftermath.” Joshua refuses to elaborate. “I think you’ve made your point a few times over. You have your experiment results.”

Seokmin shakes his head in confusion. “Why are you defending her? You’ve seen the twitter account.”

“Yeah, which is trash from what I can see,” Joshua insists. They look so put out by the statement that Joshua frowns. “Don’t tell me you’re behind that too.” Their silence is answer enough. Besides, they’re focused on something else now. Joshua turns to see what it is. 

Y/N is walking into the student union with yet another guy. This one looks at her just as adoringly as the others. Jihoon is cursing. “Oh, come on. A freshman?” 

“You know him?” Seokmin asks.

“He’s in the same department as me, just as a dance major. He’s a nice kid. She’s going to eat him alive,” Jihoon huffed. 

The other three are ranting about it, but Joshua watches the couple closely. Whatever defense he had for her is fading fast. He remembers being the innocent freshman three years ago. He remembers getting eaten alive over and over by one girl - a pretty upper class man who could smile and bat her eyes to get whatever she wanted. He remembers having to move across the world and transfer schools to keep it from consuming him. The poor kid looks in love and he knows the look because he wore it for nearly three years while he thought things were going to get better. 

He’s also remembering the way Y/N tried to worm her way into a conversation the first time they had to work together in class. The charm was undeniable and it kind of felt like twisting the knife now that he thought about it because she was really just like Lily in so many ways. 

Joshua grits his teeth, turning back to the three guys. “Tell me your plan again?”

They all look shocked. “I thought you weren’t interested in helping us,” Mingyu starts. 

“I’ll consider it, if your plan is any good, that is,” Joshua snaps, sitting down at the table, looking at them expectantly. 

Finally, Jihoon opens his laptop again, clicking a few things. Then he flips it to Joshua. “This isn’t the version that we’ve submitted for our psych experiment. This more of an… unofficial document.”

Joshua scrolls and they let him. About thirty seconds later, he flips it back to Jihoon. “Where do we start?”

Act Two

Joshua downloads the app as soon as it hits the gossip twitter, which he now follows. He thinks it’s pretty rudimentary, but they assured him it just needed to be functional and they could pretty it up as their developer had time if it was really that important. 

Later that afternoon, he meets Boo Seungkwan, and Joshua is convinced he might be evil. Seungkwan cackles loudly when he sees that Y/N has already set up an account too. Then there’s the low maniacal giggling that he does when he gets into his admin app. Seconds later, Joshua has a match. 

Between all this evil laughter, the other three are grilling him on his dating experience. He’s vague about his answers. First, it’s none of their business, really. Second, Joshua already has an inkling that Y/N is interested and is just waiting to be asked out. He plans to make her work for it a little before he gives her much. 

The first message comes through within minutes of Seungkwan making the match and it makes Joshua laugh. The others try to crowd around his phone, but he pushes them away. They don’t need to know his methods. 

And his first method is to let the message sit there marked as read for a while. Two days in fact. At their next biostats class, they thankfully just have a lecture, but he can feel someone looking at him from across the room every now and then. 

Finally, he responds with something casual. ‘Hey Y/N, sorry I missed this message.’ It’s a classic get-out-of-trouble card and he knows it worked when she replies immediately with, ‘No big deal!’ She then proceeds to try to start a conversation and he stays ‘busy’ for the next couple weeks, only replying to her sparingly. 

During the next in-class project, Y/N slides into the seat next to him and smiles, but it looks a tad insecure compared to how it normally looks. Joshua grins at her when he greets her and she lights up like a Christmas tree. He’s pleased because it’s taken very little work to have her in the palm of his hand. 

He waits another week to make another move and it’s probably not the move that she wanted. At approximately 11:30pm, he sends her a message on the app that says, ‘You up?’ He cringes when he sends it, but the thing is, she needs to feel like a last resort, or at least one of many options. When she replies, he’s suddenly busy and doesn’t answer her back. 

He does this two more times over the next couple weeks, messaging her first and then dodging her. On the fourth time, he finally takes her up on her offer. He feels like an asshole when he shows up at the sorority house in the middle of the night on Thursday because he’s kind of winging this part. He considers showing up but acting totally disinterested in being there. Maybe he’ll even scroll through Seungkwan’s dating app in front of her, where he has other matches. 

He’s so busy thinking about his next move that he really doesn’t expect to be pushed against her bedroom door after she sneaks him in. Y/N has her body pushed flush up against his, lips attacking his own in a desperate kiss. 

Joshua decides he hates her. Hates how she’s pouted at his disinterest and stared him down in every class they share because he’s not giving in to her. Hates how he’s seen her shut down every single guy for two weeks because it seems like she’s actually into him. Hates how crushed those guys look when she politely turns them down.  Hates how if he really does give in to her, he’ll have to work faster than her.

He particularly hates how he immediately responds to her touch, rock hard in his sweats. She’s attractive and he’s not blind. And there’s something that lights his veins on fire with how desperate she seems for his attention. She’s not used to having to wait for what she wants and he has half a mind to make her wait longer. Maybe he doesn’t even have to date her. Walking away from her now, or even after he sleeps with her, would get the message across too. 

But he hates her and hates how nice she feels against him and there’s something really passionate about his hate. So he swings her around and it’s her turn to be pushed against the door. Her mouth opens and she looks like she’s holding back a moan. Joshua’s body is totally pressed against hers now and he leans down to her ear. “You know how to be quiet, right? Don’t want to wake up your roommates, do we?” 

The words are taunting but they have an immediate affect on her. Her eyes get wide, lips pouting. She kind of looks like she might cry and he’s enjoying that far too much. “Yes, I’ll be quiet.” 

And she tried really hard. He thinks it’s actually pretty cute how obedient she is. He tells her to strip and she does. He tells her to get on her knees in front of him and she does. He tells her to stick out her tongue so he can push his cock inside her mouth and she does. Somewhere deep down, he realizes he’s being unfair because she seems to really be into him, but he can’t resist the opportunity to have her at his beck and call like this.

When he has her bent over her desk, she covers her mouth to muffle the sounds that are spilling out. When he has her on her back with her legs pushed to her chest, she covers her mouth then too. She really tries, but he has to cover her mouth himself to keep her quiet when he has her face down on the bed. She comes hard and he hates her for it because it feels too good around him.

Joshua is gettting dressed when she finally speaks up. “Do you want to go on a date with me?” 

He finds himself casually agreeing because he’s already decided he’s going to enjoy this a lot more than he thought. 

~

Minghao is sitting in their dorm room, watching his roommate with a raised eyebrow. Joshua is dressed nicely and he’s just meticulously fixed his hair and applied cologne. “Going somewhere?” Minghao asks lightly. 

“I have a date,” Joshua says and Minghao quirks an eyebrow. He doesn’t sound overjoyed about this date. 

“Oh? With who?” Minghao asks. He doesn’t actually care much. Joshua seems like a good guy but he wouldn’t say their particularly close since moving in together. 

“Choi Y/N.”

Minghao nearly spits out his tea all over his computer. “Come again?”

“I have a date with Choi Y/N,” Joshua says easily. 

“Mhm,” Minghao hums. “So I did hear you right. How did that happen?”

Joshua is so casual when he says, “We have a couple classes together. She asked me out after we hooked up.”

“Uh huh,” Minghao nods slowly. “Be careful with that. She’s kind of like playing with fire from what I hear.”

When Joshua smirks at him, Minghao is kind of taken aback. Joshua is usually pretty even-tempered from what he can tell and is very friendly. There’s something a little dark about his look right now. “I can handle it. Besides, I don’t expect it to last.”

“Okay,” Minghao drags out. Joshua slips on shoes and says bye. Something doesn’t feel right about this, but it’s really none of Minghao’s business. 

~

Joshua joins the troublemakers as he’s affectionately calling them for lunch the day after his date with Y/N. They want the full rundown, even though they were creeping in a booth across the restaurant watching them the whole time. They said they wanted to get a picture for the twitter account, but they didn’t have a good answer when Joshua said not everyone had to go for that. They’re just nosy. 

A few things became apparent about Y/N quickly. The first is that her mood swings wildly depending on the type of attention she’s getting. She likes to be liked. When Joshua responds to her too casually or even coldly, she deflates. When he warms up and gives her a shred of positive attention, she re-inflates, smiling widely. Joshua thinks this is a good thing. Mixed signals may keep her on the hook for longer now that he sees how she responds. 

The second is that she is a hopeless romantic. She likes to hold hands as they walk, swinging them cutely. She beams at him when he does quite literally anything gentlemanly, like walking on the outside of the sidewalk next to the street or holding a door open for her. Joshua thinks this is also a good thing. Those things come naturally to him anyway, so if she’s ever worried about how casual or cold he appears, these little things seem to negate how she feels about that. Again, the goal is to keep her on the hook until he’s ready to let her go. 

The third thing is that she seems to have no clue that her actions have consequences. She’s still clueless about who is pulling the pranks, which have continued and Joshua has even participated in a couple, and she laments that she feels like she’s a nice person and doesn’t deserve any of it. Joshua does everything to bite his tongue and not give away how frustrated he is by her lack of awareness. She is totally oblivious to the effect her short-lived romances have on people and it solidifies the need to give her a taste of her own medicine. 

Because, not that Joshua tells the troublemakers, but there were a few moments during their date that he had to remind himself of why he was here. Those moments were usually when she grinned at him or laughed. She’s a charismatic person and, whether she realizes it or not, she uses it as a weapon constantly. Joshua has to make an active effort to not let it suck him in.

He’s the one that asks her out for the second date while they’re talking after class and he feels smug when she immediately agrees with a big smile. This date is on Saturday and he’s super sweet the whole time. He even wonders if he’s overdone it, but he realizes she’s turned kind of shy. Cute. Also, totally unexpected but will work in his favor. When they stop at the front door of the sorority house, she asks if he wants to come in. He gets a ton of satisfaction out of saying that he’s sorry but he can’t. He watches her face fall, before she’s smiling that slightly insecure smile again, wishing him good night. 

On the third date, he’s back to being mostly disinterested and he has to bite back a smile as she works overtime over dinner to warm him up. He gives her bits and pieces and they work flawlessly. Again, he declines her request to come inside when he drops her off. He’s not interested in sleeping with her again, though he did enjoy how eager she was to please. 

He considers cutting it off right there on the door step of the sorority house. The troublemakers that have dated her gave him a script and asked him to use it when he does finally cut it off. He thinks better of it and wishes her a good night. On the way back to the dorm, he decides to continue with this as long as he feels it’s going well. It’s feeding a need for vengeance as much as it’s healing an open wound of his. He wishes he could pull something like this on Lily, but he also kind of hopes to never see her again. Y/N was the next best thing.

~

Wonwoo joins Mingyu and his group members for lunch and immediately regrets it. They’ve been gossiping like hens for weeks now and normally Wonwoo would love to stay out of it. He’s learned to tune it out for the most part, but he’s kind of alarmed at the excitement they all have when a strange guy shows up. They introduce him as Joshua. 

“So how’d it go? When are you breaking it off?” Mingyu whisper-yells. They’re in the quad and they don’t want their little plot to get out. 

Joshua gives an unsettling smile. “I don’t think I will yet.” 

“So you think she’s still on the hook?” Jihoon asks excitedly. 

“Almost certain of it,” Joshua responds. 

Wonwoo watches and listens for the duration of lunch, a sick feeling settling in his stomach. Joshua describes in great detail how the last date went and they’re all thrilled. Y/N is certainly not his favorite person, but he feels like this has gone so far beyond a little taste of revenge. He understands that some of them were upset by being dumped, but they seem to want to tear Y/N limb from limb. 

He’s lost in thought when he shows up for his work study. His supervisor tells him there’s someone that needs help troubleshooting an issue on their computer, so Wonwoo shrugs and goes to the repair room. He thinks god must hate him when it’s Y/N that’s sitting there. She gives him an apologetic smile that lacks all of her usual flair. 

“I’ve tried everything. Hopefully you can help me?”

Wonwoo sits across from her, taking her laptop. “What’s the issue?” 

“It won’t power on. My power cord is fine because I tried it on one of my roommates’ computers and the outlet I was using works for a lamp.” Wonwoo is surprised at her answer, or rather how thorough it is. He’s used to the basic ‘I don’t know, it’s just broken’. 

He’s starts by trying a standalone power cord at the work desk and booting it up in safe mode. She’s right though. The screen stays dark. “Might need a new battery,” he mumbles. She sighs. Technically, he’s done everything he’s required to do. It’s not a university laptop and there are limitations to what the department will do for personal devices. But he finds himself saying, “I think I have a couple spare ones we can try though. If that doesn’t work, they can give you a loaner out front until you can get a new one.” She smiles, looking a little relieved at the news, so he tacks on,  “No promises about the battery though.”

He gets the spare battery and begins opening the back of the laptop. He would usually not chatter while he works on something like this, but he remembers how his lunch went and his stomach is still churning. “Is this keeping you from working on a lot right now?”

Y/N huffs. “Yeah, it’s really bad timing actually. Isn’t it always, though? I have a research paper due tomorrow and I hope it’s still there if we can get this back on. I also have a ton of assignments to grade for the class I TA for.” 

Wonwoo hums in sympathy, but then he frowns once he gets the back panel off of the laptop. The battery is just… gone. So are the prongs that would activate the battery. They’ve been ripped out. There’s not much he can do about that.

Y/N must be able to tell that things aren’t looking good. “What is it?”

Wonwoo grimaces, looking up at her. “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but a new battery won’t fix it. Your laptop has been sabotaged.” She looks like she might cry when she sees the jagged spot where the prongs used to be. The crying isn’t a new thing here when they can’t fix something. It usually happens at midterms and finals when everyone is in crunch time. Wonwoo has had to give the bad news that someone’s laptop is shot more than once and he totally gets the reaction. 

Except he’s feeling a lot of sympathy for her because now she is crying. Sobbing even. Uncomfortably, Wonwoo reaches over the work desk and pats her shoulder a couple times. “It’ll be okay. Like I said, loaners are available until you can replace this.” He isn’t sure she even heard him at first, but then she’s wiping her eyes, makeup smearing.  He silently hands her a tissue. 

“I’m sorry. It’s been a tough semester so far. This is probably another in a series of pranks. The thing is, I can’t afford to replace it right now. It was one thing when it was glue in hand sanitizer or a glitter bomb, but I don’t have the kind of money to get a new computer.”

Wonwoo feels like he might be consumed by guilt now. He’s sat by idly all semester so far while his roommate and others have tormented her. He thinks she’s right. A little glitter (or a lot of glitter based on the video on twitter) is one thing. The custodians can vacuum and Y/N can shower and wash her clothes. But this is property damage that can’t be fixed. 

Wonwoo decides a few things at once. The first thing is that he’ll bend the rules for Y/N. The loaner laptops suck and most can’t last a single class on battery alone. Plus, they sound like a plane taking off when they’re on. But the department stashes new devices for staff and employees that can be issued by the university if they need it. He’s usually the one to keep inventory and no one with miss it. 

He gets up and comes back and places the laptop and power cord in front of Y/N. “This one’s better than the loaners. Just get it back to me when you can before it’s missed too much.” 

Y/N is still tearful when she thanks him profusely. He pats her a couple more times on the shoulder when she leaves. He also offers to dispose of the trashed laptop, but at the end of his shift he shoves it into his backpack instead. 

When he gets home, he sits down at his PC, making just a few clicks. This is the second thing he’s decided to do. The texts start to flow in quickly but he ignores them. However, he can’t ignore Mingyu when he busts into his room. 

“Did you get our texts?! The app is down.”

“I know,” Wonwoo says, not taking his eyes off of the video game in front of him. 

“What’s wrong with it? How long until it will be back up?”

“Nothing’s wrong. I took it down and I won’t be putting it back up.”

He hears Mingyu stutter. “Why would you do that? We had a deal.” 

Slowly, Wonwoo pressed pause on his game and turned to face Mingyu. He’s lived with him for over two years now and thought he knew him pretty well, but he doesn’t really recognize him anymore. “I refuse to play a role in torturing that poor girl anymore. I know I can’t do much to stop whatever else you do outside of the app, but you won’t be able to use it as a tool anymore.”

Mingyu stammers. “But we had a deal! And since when is she a ‘poor girl’? She’s a monster.”

“She’s a poor girl when you guys prank her over and over again, up to destroying her laptop. I’m doing you a favor by not reporting that, by the way. And then whatever you guys are doing with Joshua. You might not like her, but I don’t think she’d ever be as cruel as you guys are being,” Wonwoo snaps. He’s up out of his chair, dragging the broken laptop out of his bag and slamming it down on his bed. The back is still off with the battery still very much missing. 

Mingyu scoffs like he doesn’t feel guilty at all and it disgusts Wonwoo. Mingyu doesn’t try to deny anything about the laptop, barely glancing at it. “Like she can’t afford another one. All she has to do is ask her daddy for a new one.”

“Really? Because when she was crying her eyes out in my repair room earlier, she said she couldn’t afford to replace it. You guys are tricking her with Joshua and pranking her relentlessly - fine, get your revenge. But now you’re destroying property and jeopardizing her academics and work study. Where’s the fucking line, Mingyu?”

“There is no line,” Mingyu snapped heatedly. “We don’t need your help anyway. We’ve got it handled on our own.” With that, Mingyu marched out, slamming Wonwoo’s door. 

Wonwoo stared off into space before a long time before finally closing out of his game. The third thing that he decided was that he would be trying to take down that damned twitter account again. 

~

Seungcheol is concerned. 

He's always concerned for his sister, don’t get him wrong. She’s got such a soft heart that he’s always been protective of her. There’s also a little twin telepathy, so he knows something is up. He’s seen the pranks on the twitter account, and at first she’d laughed it off. She’s got a good sense of humor and can take a joke. 

He’s confused when he finds her at the gym, sitting in the bleachers with a new laptop. Well, maybe not new, but it’s different. They’d bought matching ones together a couple years ago when there was a deal and this is not the same one he has in his own bag. “New computer?”

She’s frowning behind the screen. She should really be getting ready for cheer practice in the locker room, but she doesn’t look like she’s moving anytime soon. “It’s a loaner. Someone sabotaged mine.”

“What?” Seungcheol hisses. “What do you mean someone sabotaged your laptop? Do you know who?” He should also be in the locker room now preparing for basketball practice, but he’s rooted in his spot. 

“No,” Y/N said glumly. “Probably the same person that’s done the rest of the pranks, if I had to guess.” She sighs, looking over the screen at Seungcheol. “Cheol, am I a bad person? Is that why this keeps happening?”

Seungcheol is sitting next to her immediately, hugging her. He feels her pain and he hates it. She’s usually so joyful. “No, of course not. I don’t know why you’re being targeted, everyone loves you.”

“Maybe not,” she laughs humorlessly. “I thought it was playful at first, but now I have to figure out how to replace this laptop so I can return it.” She says this into Seungcheol’s shoulder. 

Seungcheol hesitates, but finally says, “Why don’t you ask Appa? He’d send you a new one?” 

Just as he expected, she scoffs though, pulling away from him and wiping under her eyes. It looks like her makeup is long gone and it’s totally unlike her to be without it. “You know I won’t do that. I don’t want his money or anything else from him.” It has a bite to it that only comes out for this topic. Seungcheol is usually the one that is quick to anger, but he can’t hold a candle to Y/N’s anger when it comes to their father. 

“I know. You don’t have to be friendly. He likes to throw money at the problem though, and it could help here,” he says gently. 

“I don’t want a single red cent,” she huffs. A girl steps out of the women’s locker room and waves Y/N over. They must be waiting for her. She stuffs her things into her bag. “I’ll see you later. Don’t be late for practice,” she says as she starts climbing down the bleachers. 

He already is but it doesn’t matter. They won’t start without him. Most players are already out on the court, though they’re just goofing off. Seungcheol lets it slide, going into the locker room to change. He’s the only one in the aisle. He’s pulling on a shirt when he hears someone in the next aisle over. It sounds like Kim Mingyu and he must have answered his phone and naturally Seungcheol can only hear one side of the conversation.

“Hello? I can’t talk long, I’m late for practice… No,” Mingyu sighs. “Wonwoo wouldn’t turn the app back on. He’s being a prick, defending her. But it doesn’t matter.” 

Seungcheol is about to close his locker when something makes his blood run cold. He hears Mingyu say, “Joshua’s still got her on the hook. That’ll do for now until he dumps her.”

Seungcheol leans against the locker, clenching his fist. He’s pretty sure Joshua is the name of the guy that Y/N has been seeing. He debates on whipping around the corner to interrogate Kim Mingyu immediately, but he thinks better of it as his teammate hangs up and leaves. Maybe he’s misinterpreted the one sided conversation. He has no context, but he’s left unsettled. He knows Mingyu took Y/N dumping him hard. A lot of men do. But he’d never thought anyone would seek vengeance for something like that. 

While he debates on what to do during practice, he takes great enjoyment in making Kim Mingyu run laps. He always kind of hated the guy anyway. If Seungcheol’s right, this is just another reason. 

-

Y/N is elated when Seungcheol and Jeonghan invite she and Joshua for a triple date. She’s been on multiple dates with Joshua now and really likes him. When she tells her brother and best friend that, they say they’d love to meet him. 

So they’re at the movie theater on Friday night. The theater is running a showing of Night of the Living Dead and Y/N is so thrilled when Joshua smiles at her and agrees to go with them. She’s even more thrilled that he seems to enjoy the movie. He holds her hand but it’s not because she’s scared, or even because he is. The two sorority sisters, Byeol and Sora, that Seungcheol and Jeonghan are with don’t fare so well, but her brother and best friend remind her all the time that that’s the entire point. They want the girls to cling to them. 

They’re walking out of the theater when Joshua tells her he was reminded why it’s one of his favorite movies. Y/N can feel the heart eyes she’s wearing. 

Things seem to be going so well that she’s not even fazed when Seungcheol and Jeonghan start interrogating Joshua at dinner afterwards. Joshua is so poised and has an answer for everything. He’s a transfer student and is set to graduate next semester. He moved for a change of scenery. He’s pre-med like Y/N but he’s interested in internal medicine. He sheepishly says that Y/N got him in for an internship in that department in the hospital next semester. 

Y/N thinks it went so well that she’s totally stunned when Seungcheol and Jeonghan encourage her to break up with Joshua the following Monday. They don’t have any specific reasons, just that they don’t think he’s right for her. 

She’s staring at them blankly. They have to sit inside the stuffy library because it’s nearly November and it’s getting too cold. “What do you mean he’s not right for me? He seems perfect.”

“Too perfect, perhaps,” Seungcheol frowns at her, but there’s something about his eyes that give him away. He doesn’t like Joshua. 

“Isn’t that how it’s supposed to be? I mean if you find the right person, shouldn’t it be easy?” Y/N insisted. 

“Oh, you sweet summer child,” Jeonghan sighed and he actually looked like he was in a bit of pain at her naivety. “Look, Y/N, you know I love you right?” Y/N nods, because he might be a menace, but he’s always had her back and isn’t shy about telling her that. “You can ultimately do what you want, but something doesn’t feel right about this. I mean, can you name a single flaw of his?”

Y/N laughed. “Is being flawless a problem? You say you are all the time.”

Jeonghan doesn’t laugh though. He looks a little exasperated actually. “Yes, it’s a problem! I have a ton of flaws, starting with being in denial about having any flaws!”

Y/N frowns and finds she can’t look at them across the table. “I really like him. He’s nice, and funny, and a gentleman. What he wants for his future aligns with mine. And not that it’s important, but he’s great in bed.” Her eyes shoot up when the two men sigh. 

“Angel, when did you sleep with him? I thought we agreed to slow it down some,” Jeonghan asked, trying not to scold her. He was right, they had agreed that she’d be more careful. Jaehyun had talked a lot of game about how he would be getting with her and Jeonghan had insisted she break it off. He had said it was one thing if sex came with the admiration that most men had for her. But occasionally, some of them just wanted to hit it while they could because they viewed her as easy. Jeonghan and Seungcheol had worried for years that she’d eventually get taken advantage of because of her sweet, trusting nature. 

After the event with Jaehyun, Jeonghan had strongly suggested that she avoid sleeping with anyone that she was dating for a while. It seems that hadn’t mattered when it came to Joshua. 

“A while back, before we started dating,” Y/N finally admits. She kind of feels like a child when they both gave her admonishing looks and she can’t help but pout. “But then he agreed to go out with me when I asked!”

Another admonishing look for both of them, but increasing in intensity. Seungcheol’s eyes scream disappointment. “Honey, since when do you do the asking?”

Y/N didn’t really have a good answer for that, except for ‘never’. But they already knew that. She wasn’t even sure what had possessed her to ask that night. She was so excited that he’d come over that the words had just spilled out. She feels positively dejected now admitting all of this. 

Jeonghan doesn’t let her look like that long though. He stands up. “Come on. Let’s go get some coffee. I’ll even pay.” She follows blindly when Seungcheol asks if Jeonghan is paying for him to. She also ignores the subsequent argument. She doesn’t even order for herself when they get to the cafe on campus. Not like she has to when both of them know her order by heart. Jeonghan and Seungcheol drop the topic for now, but the insecurity she keeps feeling when it comes to Joshua is back. Maybe they’re right. Maybe she should cut it off. 

~

Joshua met the troublemakers for dinner on his night off. He didn’t think anything of it when Jihoon had insisted they all meet to catch up. He’d actually come to enjoy their company and they’d even started talking about things unrelated to Y/N. He kind of expected that this would be a casual dinner but he was wrong. He had to ask Jihoon to repeat himself a couple times. 

“You think I should be love bombing?” 

Jihoon nods insistently. “Yes. I happened to overhear her in the library earlier. Her brother and Jeonghan were trying to talk her into dumping you. And you’re right, she’s still very much on the hook, but I’m not sure how long she will be. She seemed upset by the conversation.”

Joshua isn’t totally surprised by that. It was obvious that Seungcheol and Jeonghan didn’t care much for him. Y/N had seemed none the wiser at dinner on Friday and Joshua was kind of banking on it staying that way. The thing is, it was painfully obvious how naive she was. He had moments where he started to feel bad because it was just so easy. At the same time, he thought it was funny for her to have dated like she had but still have no idea she’s being played. 

“Well, what do you suggest?” Joshua asks the table. They don’t have much to offer, but then he remembers that they all only got three dates, while Joshua is on date seven. He shrugs when there are too many beats of silence. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll figure it out.”

He starts simply. He starts visiting her in her TA office between classes to see her for a bit and have a snack. He turns down an Oreo when she offers him one for the open container in her desk drawer. She takes one bite into it and spits it out almost immediately. He plays the role of good boyfriend and babies her, asking her what’s wrong. When she tells him it was filled with toothpaste he pretends to be appalled as if he didn’t buy the tube himself. Nevertheless, she folds when he says he can’t believe anyone is still targeting her with their pranks. 

He also kicks up the PDA a notch when they are together. She seems to be enjoying it, even seeking it out sometimes, albeit shyly. He has to remind himself that he hates her. 

That’s been happening a lot lately. Today is Sunday, and he’s in the kitchen of the sorority house baking with Y/N. She’s got a little powdered sugar on her cheek and he thinks she looks cute. He even wipes it off her cheek without really thinking about it. She smiles up at him with a whisk in her hand and he has to picture a snake instead, because that’s what she’s supposed to be. 

They’re sitting in her room now, eating their desserts while they talk. The troublemakers had insisted he start spending time alone with her in private. He didn’t think it was a bad idea, but he hates how cute she looks in her hot pink pajama pants. Something about how comfortable she’s getting around him is unsettling. 

One of her roommates knocks on the open bedroom door and gives her a package. Y/N doesn’t look surprised by it but she doesn’t look totally pleased either. Joshua watches as she slices the box open, revealing a new laptop. “Ooo, that’s nice,” he muses. “What happened to your other one?” He already knows the answer.

“It’s busted,” she says shortly. “I’ve been using a loaner for a few weeks.” 

“This must have set you back some,” Joshua comments lightly. He’d heard from Mingyu that her father would probably be replacing it. That suspicion is confirmed when she sighs. 

“Yeah, my pride maybe. I had to ask my dad for help on it.”

“Generous dad,” Joshua says, still trying to keep things light, but he’s sensed something dark about her mood as soon as the package arrived. It’s so uncommon that it takes him by surprise.

Y/N laughs humorlessly. “He’s good at throwing money at a problem, that’s for sure. Wish I didn’t have to take anything from him, but I wouldn’t have been able to afford it myself and I really need to return the loaner.” 

This gives Joshua pause. Mingyu had painted her as a spoiled rich girl and Joshua had blindly accepted it because she did give off that vibe. Finally, he carefully asks, “Are… you guys not close?”

Another humorless laugh. “No,” she scoffs. “Not since he busted fifteen years of marriage for his secretary that’s half his age.” Joshua frowns and she must have realized what she said, so she gives him an apologetic look. “Sorry, that was probably too much. It’s just a sore subject.”  

“Y/N… that sucks. I’m sorry.” Joshua means it. He’s been blessed with two supportive parents that love each other and are the example of a nearly perfect relationship. He finds himself asking, “Are you close to your mom?” He kind of hopes the answer is yes, even though he hates her.

This lightens Y/N right up even though she’s handling the laptop she didn’t want now. “Yeah, she’s kind of my hero. She’s done everything for Seungcheol and I since the divorce, even if it was hard on her. I wish I could visit her more, but I talk to her nearly every day.”

Joshua’s chest warms. It’s sweet to think about. Unlike all the other things that are sweet about her that he hates, he doesn’t hate this one. He finds himself genuinely smiling at her. “That’s good. I miss my parents a lot, but our timezones never really work out now so it’s just the occasional text.”

Y/N’s expression is sympathetic. “I’m sorry. It has to be hard being so far away from them.” She bites her lip. “Can I ask… why did you move if you’re so close to them?”

He doesn’t know why he even thinks about answering. It’s something he hasn’t really answered for anyone here, though they’ve asked. He should be too busy hating her and plotting against her. Joshua laughs a little, sitting on the bed next to the box. “It’s kind of stupid, actually.”

“Try me,” Y/N says kindly, moving the box and sitting next to him. Their knees touch and Joshua feels so dumb for being momentarily distracted by it. 

He feels lame when he answers. “I ended a long term relationship and there were too many memories back home. I didn’t intend to move across the world initially, but when I was accepted here I took it immediately.”

He hates her again, because she’s giving him a sweet sympathetic smile. He hates her because it seems genuine. “I’m sorry. It must have been some breakup to need to get away like that.”

“Yeah,” he laughs but it sounds a little empty. “To the tune of being cheated on for three years straight with multiple people.” He hates her again because she hisses, face still kind and sympathetic. 

“Damn. I’m sorry. I can’t imagine that.”

He bets she can’t right now, but she’ll live something like it soon. 

She’s oblivious to his internal struggles and continues. “I might not be the best at dating, but if I had something good for three years, I wouldn’t jeopardize it like that. I wish I had something that lasted.” Awkwardly, she glances up at him. She looks a little embarrassed. “I know we just started dating so I don’t want to make any assumptions about how you feel. I do like you though, Joshua.”

She’s so disarming that it’s making him a little weak. He’s been here before, but now he’s aware that he might as well be staring down the barrel of a gun again.

Lily had that affect too. She’d smile or act cute and it had him folding at the snap of a finger. He hadn’t realized all the red flags until it was far too late. 

The whole point of this experiment, if they could even call it that anymore, was to bring Y/N down and Joshua agreed because she’s just like Lily in that way. She bats her eye and smiles and gets whatever she wants. 

And yet, Joshua is weak for her just like he was for Lily. Maybe because he’s seeing things in Y/N that aren’t like Lily at all. Lily was materialistic, while Y/N has very little decor around her room, likes thrifting, and hates accepting gifts from her father. Lily thrived on the way people admired her but Joshua now recognized it was because they could be manipulated because of it. Y/N seems shockingly innocent in that regard. Oblivious maybe, but she’s not malicious. And whereas Lily would use tears and guilt tripping to get what she wanted, Y/N has just carefully admitted her feelings without putting pressure on him.

Joshua is staring at her while he thinks of all this and he doesn’t stop her when she leans in to kiss him. It’s very careful compared to the last time they kissed, way back before she’d asked him out. 

He really hates her because he folds just like he would with Lily. He holds Y/N’s face and returns the kiss without much thought. It’s Joshua who begins to escalate things this time, starting with a hand on her upper thigh. He feels the tension in his body getting tighter because he hates how his heart races and how good it feels when he tugs on her waist and she climbs into his lap, straddling him. 

He’s about to push her back on the bed when she gets up and locks her bedroom door. She told him earlier that it’s against the house rules to lock your bedroom door with a guy in here but it seems she’s willing to break them for him today. When she’s back in arms reach, he pulls her to him gently. This is so different than the first time they were together. It’s all soft touches and kisses. He’s soft when he asks if he can undress her unlike his commands the last time and when she says yes his movements are also slow and gentle. When he’s inside of her, her breath is gentle on his neck and lips as are the soft noises she makes as he slowly fucks into her. If you could call it that. It feels far too romantic to be fucking this time around. 

He finds he likes it more like this and yet he hates it. 

He’s got to get out now. This can’t go on. 

~ 

Joshua watches the troublemakers deflate when he tells them he’s going to break thing off. They were enjoying the chaos they were causing and don’t want the primary method for that to stop. Joshua knows they’re still enjoying the pranking - they have rolls and rolls of Christmas wrapping paper to prove it for their next idea and Joshua doesn’t ask because he doesn’t want to know. 

And he knows they’ve enjoyed this vindictive game that Joshua has been the pawn for. But he won’t budge on ending it ASAP. They seem to let that go until they find out he’s going to break things off quietly. 

“What was this whole thing for if it all ends quietly?” Mingyu looks so confused. 

Joshua is staying firm. He answers Mingyu through a bite of his stir fry. “Don’t you think we’ve done enough? I break it off quietly, she knows what it’s like, and we can all call it a day. Or a semester really.”

“But what about my twitter account?” Seungkwan laments. “Can I at least get some details to post about after you do it?” 

Joshua sighs. “Sure.”

Jihoon narrows his eyes. “Why are you so eager to stop everything? We haven’t even been feeding you ideas lately. That’s all been you.” Joshua doesn’t answer and he ignores Jihoon’s scoff. “Don’t tell me she got to you.” 

“No, she didn’t get to me,” Joshua said firmly. “But the job is done. She’s hooked. She’s admitted she likes me a lot and it shows because we been dating for nearly two months. Exactly how long were you guys planning to drag this out? Your assignment is pretty much done.” He knows because he’s seen it himself. They’ve gotten the results that they wanted, yet they keep saying they need ‘more data’. That data doesn’t seem to be for the assignment anymore. 

Seokmin sighs. “Look, I know she’s disarming. It’s okay if she did get to you. But you need to let us finish this how we intended. We agreed to an exposé after you break it off. Are you backing out of that?”

Joshua doesn’t answer right away. He had agreed to it. Hell, he’d been the one to suggest it. It felt like the cherry on top of this unofficial document that they had drafted. One final push to make Choi Y/N fall from grace. 

Yet he finds himself saying. “I don’t think we should do it. Let me break it off quietly, Seungkwan can post a little blurb about it, and then we call it a day.”

Mingyu’s looking at him hard now. “You slept with her again, didn’t you?”

Joshua scoffs, regretting that he mentioned the first time to them. “It doesn’t matter. If we take this much farther, this will blow up in everyone’s face.” 

“It does matter,” Jihoon insists. “We told you in the beginning that you can’t let her worm her way in.” 

“She didn’t ‘worm her way in’,” Joshua snaps. “You think I don’t know girls like Y/N? Why do you think I agreed to this?” All four of his companions look angry, but so is Joshua. He stands up with his tray. “Look, let me break up with her quietly this afternoon and then you guys can post whatever the fuck you want. But I’m done with this after today.” They don’t stop him when he walks away. After he drops off his tray, he takes out his phone and unfollows the gossip twitter account. He doesn’t care to see what they do with it next. 

~

 “Why are you so giddy? It’s irritating,” Jeonghan says from her bed. He’s come over to the sorority house under the guise of getting help with his math homework, but he has yet to crack open a book or even pull it out of his backpack for that matter. Instead, he’s totally wrinkled her covers and tossed some of her pillows on the floor in an effort to get comfortable. 

But Y/N is giddy. She’s still thinking about yesterday when Joshua was over. She’d hooked up with a fair number of people, but that had been different for her. He was so sweet and gentle and it had made her melt. 

“It’s nothing,” she says from her desk. She would normally not keep a secret from Jeonghan. She can only think of a few occasions that she’s done so as long as she’s known him. But she didn’t want his look of disappointment to ruin her high. 

But the thing about knowing someone as long as she and Jeonghan have known each other is that you can’t get away with much. Jeonghan looks sly when she turns around to face him. “Someone got fucked.” Jeonghan nearly cackles at the blush that overtakes Y/N’s face. “And fucked good at that.”

“Jeonghan! Do you have no manners?” She scolds, but she’s also biting back a giggle. 

“No,” Jeonghan says shamelessly. “Tell me, was he better than me?” 

“Jeonghan!” Y/N shouts, too shocked to laugh right away. They don’t often talk about losing their first kisses to each other at 14 and losing their virginities to each other at 16, mostly because it had never affected their friendship. But sometimes, Jeonghan likes to surprise her with a mention of it just to embarrass her. 

But it doesn’t embarrass her the way he seems to think it does. She’s not embarrassed to have slept with Jeonghan once upon a time. He was sweet and he knew her so well even back then. She couldn’t imagine it being with anyone else. That was why she was comfortable pitching the idea to him in the first place. 

Plus there was always this little, tiny, microscopic crush that she suppressed. It didn’t go anywhere even after they kissed or had sex, so she let it go. But the mention of it makes her feel warm only because it’s Jeonghan that says it. 

Jeonghan’s laughing loudly. “It’s okay, you can answer honestly.” 

Y/N huffs. “You know it’s not like that with us.”

Jeonghan’s laugh is lighter. “I know, angel.” He pauses for a moment and it seems like he decides to continue. “I’m happy it’s going well. I know we gave you a hard time about him, but if you’re happy we will be too.”

Y/N smiles warmly at him. That’s why he’s her best friend. “Thanks, Hannie. Now are you ever going to do your homework?” 

Jeonghan groans, crawling under the covers. 

~

Joshua is in his biostats class when it happens. Phones buzz across desks and the instructor looks annoyed but continues lecturing. Joshua is in the front of the class, so he can only hear reactions to the notification. People gasp and whispers break out. There’s even some laughter. The instructor tries to call things to order, but it’s no use. He calls the class to an end ten minutes early with a warning about phone usage during lectures. 

On his way out, Joshua sees Y/N frozen at her desk. She’s got her phone in her hand and she looks like she’s not breathing. She looks like she might even cry. 

Good. He doesn’t stay to watch the show. It’s satisfying enough to see the excitement bubbling around campus. It’s because the exposé has been posted. 

Despite saying they shouldn’t do it and that he wanted nothing to do with it if they did, he’d changed his mind as he left the sorority house yesterday afternoon. One of her housemates had let him in and pointed him upstairs, saying Y/N was home. He’s giving himself a pep talk all the way up the stairs and down the hall to her room. He should be kind but straight to the point. He even debates using the phrase that the troublemakers had fed him, because something about throwing it back in her face like that feels too mean now. 

Her bedroom door is cracked and he’s just about to knock when he hears a male voice inside. He’s not sure who it is so he waits for a beat. 

“Tell me, was he better than me?” 

Joshua’s frozen in place. He hears Y/N gasp and yell, “Jeonghan!” Then she’s giggling. 

Jeonghan must find it funny too. “It’s okay, you can answer honestly.” 

Y/N huffs. “You know it’s not like that with us.”

Jeonghan’s laughing again, but there’s something a little too intimate about it. “I know, angel.” 

Joshua quietly exited because he didn't need to hear anymore. He shouldn’t be surprised. He’d been warned over and over again. He also remembered how Mingyu had called Jeonghan the male version of Y/N. They really were a match made in hell, as Jihoon had said that day in the courtyard. 

Joshua had barely gotten around the corner from the sorority house before he pulled out his phone and sent a message. ‘Never mind. Do the exposé.’

They don’t need to be told twice and it’s not very kind. Joshua knows because he helped write it. Seungkwan was even hesitant to post it but it promises a major reaction. 

It seems he got over that hesitancy. Joshua feels smug as he walks back to his dorm. He might even follow the twitter account again just to see the downfall.

~

Think you know Choi Y/N? Campus it girl. Sorority girl. Cheerleader. Straight A student. Sure, I guess.

But do you know her dating history? 

Let’s start with this summer. She met Lee Jihoon at a bar and went on exactly three dates with him. 

On her birthday (at which point she hadn’t ended things with Jihoon yet), she slept with Kim Mingyu, then they went on exactly three dates. 

Then her next victim was Lee Seokmin. He also got exactly three dates… before she was spotted getting cozy with Jeong Jaehyun minutes after Seokmin received her message letting him down easy.

You’re starting to get the point, I’m sure. This is nothing new since she’s been doing this for years now. 

And now, Joshua Hong, transfer student. Except Y/N won’t know until she reads this that it was all a set up. If you’ve been wronged by Choi Y/N, then you know she deserves a taste of her own medicine and she’s got it now. 

Especially when she says she really likes Joshua Hong and dates him for two months (a record!) while sleeping with Yoon Jeonghan on the side. Anyone else have a Choi Y/N story they’d like to share?

Act Three

The drive is quiet, mostly because no one knows what to say. It’s never been this quiet for the three of them, not in 22 years. Not even when it was supposed to be. 

Seungcheol and Jeonghan aren’t talking. Two weeks ago, Seungcheol found Jeonghan on campus and just started swinging. Jeonghan ended up with a bloody nose before some of Seungcheol’s teammates nearby could drag Seungcheol off of him. Not as bad as it could have been, but it was a first. They’d never been in a fist fight before, not even as kids on the playground. They ended up in front of the Dean for it too. Thankfully, the Dean let it slide with a warning. 

Seungcheol is also not talking to Y/N, specifically because he hadn’t known she slept with Mingyu the night of their birthday party months ago. He’d thought he had a pretty close relationship with his twin sister, but he feels betrayed that he found some thing like that out on twitter of all places. 

Jeonghan and Y/N are talking, but barely. The tension is overwhelming. No matter how much they emphasize that they haven’t been sleeping together, no one seems to believe them. Without really discussing it, they decide some distance would be good. He’s insistent that he’s still her best friend for life and she’ll never be rid of him, though it doesn’t feel like it from the back seat of her and Seungcheol’s shared car. 

Y/N kind of feels like a ghost. She has for two weeks now. She barely took in anything to do with dead week or finals week. The normal stress of that time of the year doesn’t really register because she feels too numb. It’s kind of a blessing because if she can’t take much in, she doesn’t notice all the laughter and whispers that follow her around campus, at cheer practice, and in the sorority house. 

Just about the only person that gives her any sympathy is Wonwoo when she goes to return the loaner laptop before leaving for the break. He delicately asks how she’s doing and he seems like he really wants to know. His kindness doesn’t feel like something she deserves. She leaves before she cries in front of him again. 

Tonight is the dinner at her father’s house. Jeonghan is always invited and is still coming despite whatever is going on with the three of them. When they got in the car, the only thing they really said to each other is that they didn’t want to involve their parents in this mess. So they had to pretend like everything was fine, if only for one dinner. 

The mansion is cold when the three of them arrive. Their bags are still in the car because they aren’t staying here. Y/N is relieved by that small blessing. She can’t wait to be in her old bedroom in her mom’s small cozy apartment in a matter of hours. 

Nari greets them with a smile that is totally fake. She’s wearing a little black dress and heels under her apron. Y/N guesses she’s taken on the role of housewife since leaving her position as secretary at the company. It sounded like it didn’t look good for her to be married to the boss, preferential treatment and all. 

Nari sends them to the sitting room. It’s cold in there too and not a blanket in sight over the back of the couch or in a bin in the corner. Jeonghan silently takes off his wooly cardigan and hands it to her, ignoring Seungcheol’s glare. He’s been doing that anytime he sees the two of them interact. 

Nari comes out with a tray of drinks, handing them around. Y/N takes a single sip of the drink and puts it down. There’s no grenadine in hers while the boys’ drinks are a light pink because of it.  She knows it’s a calculated jab to not give her something everyone else gets but Y/N refuses to give Nari the satisfaction of a reaction. 

“Where’s Appa tonight?” Seungcheol asks politely. Everything is formal with Nari, just as it’s always been with their father too. 

Nari smiles and it’s so sickly sweet that Y/N has to look away. “He called and said he was running late at the office. Should be here anytime. Excuse me, I need to go check the roast. The chef is on vacation.” She says it snidely, like the chef doesn’t deserve a vacation, but the three of them say nothing. Once she’s out of the room, Jeonghan switches drinks with Y/N, taking the non-grenadine one. He, again, pointedly ignores Seungcheol’s glare.

Y/N is still cold at dinner where she picks at her food. Her father has barely glanced at her the whole time. He’s worried about how Seungcheol’s team is going to do this year and how Jeonghan’s applications to the internship at his company’s office near the university have gone. He promises to put in a good word for Jeonghan. 

Reluctantly, her father looks down his nose at Y/N. “And how was your semester?”

“It went well,” Y/N said, feeling a little bit like she was in a job interview. “I got straight As. The sorority and cheer team are doing well too.” She could talk about the fundraisers and volunteer events the sorority did, or how she learned a new stunt for a routine, but she knows by now he doesn’t really care. He’d always looked at her with such disinterest, even as a child.

Her father pretends to look pleased. “Good to hear. We need a Dr. Choi in the family. Can’t let those grades slip.” Y/N just nods in agreement. “By the way, did you get the replacement laptop I sent?” 

“I did. Thank you for sending it so quickly. I apologize that I didn’t send you a message when I got it, but I had a lot to catch up on, what with a broken laptop.” The words burn in her throat. She doesn’t want to thank him. She doesn’t want anything from him. She wants her mom. 

“Of course, but you should really be more careful, Y/N. Don’t be so reckless with your belongings,” he scolds. Y/N doesn’t miss how pleased Nari is with the lecture. Y/N remembers when Nari sent her to boarding school for part of semester in high school. Seungcheol hadn’t been sent away since he was supposed to be a starter on the basketball team. Their mother had to drive to the boarding school and pull her out after Y/N cried on the phone one too many times. Nari didn’t look happy when she showed up on the doorstep with her suitcase again.

“Yes sir,” Y/N answers meekly, if only to avoid anymore conversation. Seungcheol and Jeonghan both clench their jaws across the table. 

After an agonizing couple hours, Seungcheol makes the excuse that they should get going. They still have to drop Jeonghan off and get home to their mother’s apartment across town. 

In the car, neither boys say anything as Y/N cries in the backseat. This dinner was the straw that broke the camel's back. Jeonghan ignores Seungcheol’s looks in the rearview mirror because he refused to sit in the front seat, sliding into the back with her to hold her hand. 

~ 

The break flies by only because Y/N wishes it wouldn’t. She’d like to stay in her warm bed in her mom’s warm apartment for the rest of her life. She surprises herself by even considering not going back, but she knows she’d never hear the end of it. After all, she has one semester left. Then she can pick anywhere for medical school, given that she gets accepted. 

Her mother is clearly worried, and Y/N feels so guilty for it. Her mother has been a nurse for over 20 years. She works hard and she works long, weird hours. She always has in order to make it work for the twins. So Y/N tries to slap a smile on her face when she’s out of her room if only to keep her from worrying, particularly when she’s just come home from an overnight shift. 

But it seems it doesn’t matter because her mother still knocks on her door the night before they’re scheduled to drive back to school. Y/N is packing after doing some laundry and she slaps that fake smile on her face when her mother sits cross legged on her bed. “Are you sure you have to go? You could just move back in for good. Just don’t tell your brother,” her mother teases. 

This does bring a little bit of a genuine smile to Y/N’s face. “I would love to, but I’m so close to being done.” 

“I know, baby, and I’m so proud of you.” Her mother stopped and stared for a second. Finally, she sighs. “You know, I had a really bad semester at nursing school. Even had to switch schools because of it.”

Y/N isn’t sure how she knows that the semester was bad because she hadn’t said anything. But there’s no point in denying it. She’s been moping for weeks now. “Really? What happened?”

“Some mean girls,” her mother shrugs. “They’re everywhere, but they were more tolerable at the second school.”

Y/N continues folding clothes if only to keep busy. “What if I’m the mean girl?” 

“What do you mean, baby?” 

It had been weighing on Y/N’s mind. Something about the post a couple weeks before finals had made things painfully obvious to her. She hadn’t realized how it looked to others while she was chasing and looking for the right guy. She didn’t realize how many feelings she’d hurt on that chase. She eventually deleted her twitter account and locked down all of her other socials to avoid finding out how anyone else really felt about her. 

“I think I’ve hurt some feelings with my dating habits. I didn’t mean anything by it… but I did.” 

Her mother is quiet for a moment, before waving her over. There’s something so comforting about curling up into her mother’s side. “I’ll tell you what I think, okay?” Y/N nods into her shoulder. “You have so much love to give. You always have, you and Seungcheol both. And you really want to be with someone to share that. But maybe it’s okay if you keep it to yourself sometimes.” Her mother’s head plops down on top of Y/N’s. “You know, I was always afraid the divorce would affect you two. It’s why I stayed until I just couldn’t anymore. But now I see how you might be chasing after the validation you didn’t see in mine and your father’s relationship. And you don’t need it, okay? Take care of yourself first.”

Y/N is tearful and this is all too serious, so she has to crack a joke. “I think you’re spending too much time covering shifts in the psych ward. You sound like a shrink.”

Y/N’s mother laughs loudly. “Oh, I know. They’re keeping me on that rotation because I’m so good. Come on. Let’s finish packing this and then we’ll make some cookies for you to take with you tomorrow.”

~

Mingyu is pissed. He has been for days. Specifically, because a couple days before he was due to come back from break, the twitter account mysteriously disappears. So does any trace of it. No one has screenshots and the document they’d drafted of the exposé is gone too. All that’s left is anything they compiled for the final project. 

Seungkwan says he didn’t do anything with the twitter account and Mingyu believes him because his texts sound panicked. As Seungkwan is lamenting over the years he’s spent building up that account, Mingyu develops a theory. When he calls Wonwoo multiple times without receiving an answer, he considers it evidence. 

So when Mingyu arrives back at his apartment, he’s seething. Wonwoo looks totally unfazed where he lays on the couch with a book as Mingyu all but throws down his suitcase. “What the fuck did you do?”

“Whatever do you mean?” Wonwoo sounds bored. He doesn’t even look up from his book. 

“The twitter account, you asshole!”

“Oh, that? I hacked it and deleted it.” Wonwoo says this so casually that it almost makes Mingyu’s brain explode. 

“Why would you do that?! You know how hard we worked on that.” Mingyu thinks he might hit Wonwoo. “Months of work and now we have nothing to show for it. And years of work for Seungkwan.”

“That’s too bad,” Wonwoo says without an ounce of sympathy. 

Mingyu is fast approaching the bargaining phase. He plops down on the couch next to Wonwoo. “I thought you said you couldn’t do it anyway. What happened?”

Wonwoo gives him a blank look. “Oh, I’ve spent months on it, but I was finally able to do it over the break. It wasn’t easy, but it was very satisfying to click confirm on that little pop up.”

Mingyu stammers, at a total loss of words. Eventually, he’s pleading. “Why, Wonwoo? That was the basis of our whole project.” 

“And your project is done. I saw the document you guys turned in.” Wonwoo’s voice is turning icy. “What? It wasn’t enough for you to get a little revenge and an A+? Now you want to go back and relive it?”

“Why are you acting like this? You don’t even like her!” Mingyu cried. 

“I like her a hell of a lot more than I like any of you guys right now. I don’t even recognize you anymore, Mingyu.” It’s Wonwoo’s turn to be mad. He slams the book closed, throwing it down on the coffee table. “You tore her apart and then kept that account up to let everyone else keep tearing her apart. Do you feel better now? Does that help you get over the three dates you took her on? Are you seeing how you guys overreacted now?”

“She had it coming,” Mingyu argued but he was losing heat. Wonwoo rarely lectured him like this. 

“You destroyed her. I’ll be surprised if she even comes back,” Wonwoo snapped, standing up to pace. “I asked her if she was okay when she turned in the loaner laptop and she looked like she could cry on the spot. Whatever vengeance you got, I hope you enjoyed it because you don’t get anymore if it touches a computer or phone. I’ll hack every single device you guys have to make sure of it.”

Mingyu has deflated, totally stunned. “Why are you defending her? I don’t understand this at all.”

“I’m defending her because it seems like literally no one else is. I’m sure you know the damage that you’ve caused.” When Mingyu gives him a blank look, Wonwoo snaps again. “Let me refresh your memory. I heard she’s the laughing stock of the sorority and cheer team. She’s deleted her twitter account because there were hundreds of people tagging her in comments. And last I heard Seungcheol and Jeonghan fought.”

Mingyu had heard that. It makes news in the locker room when your captain gets into a fist fight and is sent to the Dean’s office. The coach wasn’t happy. “I can’t help that,” Mingyu insisted. “Besides, that was probably a long time coming. Joshua said Y/N had been sleeping with Jeonghan the whole time.”

“And that’s another thing! They’re both firmly denying that.”

Mingyu rolls his eyes because he can’t help it. “And you believe that? How do you know all of this anyway? Everyone’s been gone for break.”

“You know, I do believe it actually, especially since she didn’t bother denying anything else you guys wrote. And let’s just say some other accounts have been cleaned up as well.” Wonwoo picks up his book. “I’m leaving. I mean it though. You guys are done.”

Wonwoo’s disappointment is clear and leaves Mingyu feeling conflicted. But the thing is, the project’s over and the twitter account is gone. Mingyu decides it’s time to move on. 

~

Joshua can feel eyes on him, but this time he knows who it is. Minghao has been doing a lot of staring lately. Neither had anywhere to go during the break, but they saw very little of each other. It seems Minghao is upset with him, and Joshua hasn’t asked yet. 

But it’s starting to drive him crazy, because he really wants to enjoy his night off and watch some TV. When he glances at Minghao, his roommate is peering over his laptop. Joshua raises an eyebrow. “What?”

Minghao continues to stare, before finally saying, “Nothing.”

Joshua scoffs. “If you have something to say, just say it. You’ve been like this all break.”

Minghao purses his lips. “Nothing, really. I just thought you were nicer, is all.”

“Nicer? What do you mean?” Joshua prided himself on being polite, a gentleman even. 

“I mean the twitter account.” Joshua must looked surprised, because Minghao rolls his eyes. “Yes, even I have twitter. And even if I didn’t it would have been impossible to miss. I just don’t understand how you got involved in all that. Or why.”

“She deserved it,” Joshua mumbled. He didn’t really have another excuse anymore. He’d deleted the app to keep from looking at it because it was kind of like watching a car crash. 

“I beg to differ.”

Minghao’s statement makes Joshua’s jaw drop as he sits up. “What do you mean? You were the first one to tell me what she was like.”

“Yeah, I get it. Play the player and all. But you and whoever you were working with took it to the extreme,” Minghao said seriously. “I mean, there are some nasty things being written about her.” 

“So?” 

Minghao blinks a few times. “Fine, be that way. Leave me alone, though.” Joshua watched as Minghao slid headphones on and turned away. 

~

Y/N has never been what you would call a recluse. She liked to be around people, always had, but she finds she can’t when she returns to campus. She hides out in her room at the sorority house most of the time, even avoiding her housemates. Some are mean and others are pitying, but Y/N doesn’t care for either of those things, so she waits until everyone has left or is in bed before she comes out for things like food or laundry. 

She’s taken to spending a lot of time in bed. Not scrolling, not watching TV, not even reading.  She’s staring at that same spot on the wall when there’s a knock on her bedroom door. It opens and Seungcheol comes in. They haven’t really talked much outside of the necessities of traveling together so she sits up in bed, surprised. He doesn’t really acknowledge her as he puts the bags he’s carrying down onto her desk. She watches as he unpacks a couple orders of her favorite sushi. When he hands them to her with a pair of chopsticks, her eyes water a bit. 

She doesn’t dig in right away, waiting for him to get his stuff and sit next to her on the bed. He doesn’t crack open his food either. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. 

Y/N shakes her head. “No, I’m sorry. I made such a mess without even realizing it.”

“Maybe a little,” Seungcheol chuckles. “But you’re still my sister and I’m sorry that I didn’t just come talk to you about it. And I’m sorry I haven’t really helped you out any lately. I know you’ve had a hard time with all this.”

Y/N sighs, putting her food to the side. She leans into Seungcheol. “Maybe I deserved it. All the pranks. The twitter account. I didn’t even realize how bad it all looked until I read it along with everyone else.”

She feels Seungcheol shake his head. “No. They don’t understand it.” She doesn’t have to ask what he’s referring to because she knows it’s about their father and the divorce. Seungcheol had once jokingly said the whole thing had given her a complex, but maybe it wasn’t much of a joke. “And anyway, that whole thing with Joshua reeked. I wish I’d pressed you more to end it with him because it’s totally unfair that it was a set up.”

Y/N frowns. She’d tried not to think much of Joshua lately because it would do no good. She hadn’t heard from him and she didn’t expect to, so she hadn’t reached out either. “I should have known it was too good to be true.” 

“Maybe, but it’ll work out with someone someday.” Seungcheol sounds like he means that. After a beat, he asks, “So you and Jeonghan? How long has that been going on?”

“It hasn’t been. We lost our virginity to each other when we were 16. That’s it.”

“That’s it?” Seungcheol sounds surprised. 

“Yeah, I promise. It rarely comes up anymore. I’m not even sure how that rumor got started recently,” Y/N sags into Seungcheol’s side. That was something that hadn’t gone back to normal yet. She was used to seeing Jeonghan all the time, maybe more than she saw her twin, but they didn’t really know how to be around each other lately. 

“Do you wish it would come up? The idea of you and him, I mean?” 

Y/N is surprised by the question, only because she remembers hearing about their fight. “Do you really want to know the answer to that question?” Seungcheol nods. Y/N bites her lip. “Sometimes. I wished it would have back then, but we were so lucky we didn’t ruin our friendship at 16. Not that it matters now, even if I did want it to come up.”

“He misses you too, don’t worry,” Seungcheol says easily. 

“Have you guys made up?” Y/N’s head pops up, relief in her eyes. 

“Yeah, I interrogated him this morning,” Seungcheol smiles and there’s a flash of something mischievous before it clears and he’s serious again. “I told him to come see you but he’s working up the courage. He wishes he could have shielded you from all of this.” Y/N frowns at Seungcheol’s explanation, but he doesn’t let her press him for anything. “And for the record, I’d be okay with it if you two did have something going on. I’d just like to know about it. Don’t keep secrets from me anymore.”

Seungcheol places her food back in her lap and with a tone of finality, he insists, “Eat. That place is expensive.”

Y/N does, feeling a little bit lighter. 

~ 

The next day, she decides that she’s not going to wait for Jeonghan to come see her. He’s been her best friend for over 20 years and this is getting fixed today. Seungcheol is out when she knocks on their apartment door. Jeonghan looks like he just woke up but his eyes widen when he sees her. “Surprise,” Y/N sings lamely, holding a bag from their favorite bakery. 

Nevertheless, Jeonghan smiles and lets her in. They sit together on the floor next to the coffee table. As kids, they didn’t care to sit at the table or even on the couch, and it was a habit they still had occasionally if only for nostalgia.

Jeonghan would normally inhale the cake that she’s just given him but he eats slowly today. Y/N picks at her own slice. “I’m sorry you got roped into all of this.” 

He looks at her for a long time and she’s beginning to worry that he’ll kick her out. But eventually he shakes his head. “You didn’t do anything wrong in my book, so there’s nothing to be sorry for.”

“Others would disagree with you,” Y/N says bitterly, putting her cake down on the coffee table and pulling her knees up to her chest. Laying her chin on her knees, she looks at him. She can’t imagine not fixing this with him, but it’s up to her to apologize and it’s up to him to decide if he still wants to be friends. “I don’t even know how that rumor started. It makes you look bad too, since you’ve been dating as well. So I’m still sorry.”

Jeonghan looks so stubborn now. She knows the look well. It’s the same one he gives when someone tells him to do something he doesn’t want to do, like doing chores or homework. “No. I don’t accept your apology because it’s not needed.”

Tears prick Y/N’s eyes. “Let me apologize,” she pleads. “You should be saying ‘I told you so’ anyway. You’ve been telling me for years to be more careful.”

“You’re misunderstanding, Y/N,” Jeonghan lets out in exasperation. “I never told you to be careful because of how it looked. I know your intentions were never bad. And I never imagined anyone would do anything so… cruel in response to it.” He looks back down to his cake, picking some of the frosting off with the fork. “I only told you to be careful because I didn’t like seeing you get let down over and over again. And I’m certain there’s no one who deserves you so it happens all the time.”

Y/N stares at him while he still picks the frosting off his cake. “Do you really feel that way? Not even you?” There’s a tinge of a joke, but she really wonders.

Jeonghan chuckles, some light returning to his eyes.  “Not even me, and I’m flawless.” This earns a laugh from Y/N but then things get quiet. “Of course, I feel that way. Whoever you do end up with one day will be really lucky.”

There are so many things Y/N wants to say, but finally, she lands on, “I feel the same about you. I’ve been telling you for years that you’re total husband material.” 

Jeonghan laughs again. “And who made me learn all that? You hold your best friend to high standards,” he teases. “Now, can we go back to normal? I missed you.”

Y/N grinned. “I missed you too, Hannie. But did you really think I was leaving here without things going back to normal? You’ll never be rid of me, I’ll haunt you for the rest of your life.” Jeonghan shoves her by the shoulder and she loses balance, laying flat on the floor. 

“Don’t make me kick you out. Now, eat your cake or I will.”

~

Joshua walks into the hospital with a minute to spare. It’s his first day at his internship and he’s really looking forward to it. He goes to the front desk and finds out where he’s supposed to be - to which the answer is the 3rd floor. This is one of the regular units, specifically not the ER or the ICU. As soon as he steps out of the elevator, he bites back a groan. 

Somehow, he’d forgotten that Y/N would be here. And even if she was, he kind of assumed they’d never have to run into each other because they’re interns in different departments. But sure enough, Y/N is standing there with the charge nurse that Joshua was told to find. 

Both women turn to him as he approaches. “Joshua, right?” The charge nurse, Eunji, asks and when Joshua nods, she smiles. “Good! And both of you are on time too. Joshua, have you met Y/N before?”

Joshua looks at Y/N, who doesn’t so much as glance at him now. Evenly, she says, “Yes, we’ve shared some classes.” Her tone has none of the usual sparkle to it, and he’s not sure if it’s because she’s trying to be professional or if it’s because he’s here standing next to her. 

“Great! Well, unfortunately, I don’t have anything exciting for you guys,” Eunji looks apologetic. “We need to do inventory today, and the tech that would normally do it during this shift is out.” Eunji hands both of them clipboards and pens, before leading them to a supply closet. The bare overhead light is not very bright and most of the corners are still dark. “Sorry it’s so dingy in here… Anyway, it’s pretty straightforward. For each line item, do a count and write it down. Split it however you’d like and if you have any questions I’ll be around.”

With that Eunji closes the door behind her, leaving Y/N and Joshua alone. They haven’t seen each other since that Sunday in her bedroom, outside of a couple classes they shared. Joshua feels awkward when Y/N turns to one of the shelves and starts without another word. He doesn’t know why but the silence kills him for the next hour. He has to recount rolls of gauze and boxes of bandaids a few times before he thinks he got it right. 

He’s in the middle of his third count of boxes of alcohol swabs when he hears a grunt behind him. When he turns, he sees Y/N on her tiptoes, trying to reach the top shelf. Without thinking, he comes up behind her, grabbing the bin that she needs and handing it to her. She barely glances up at him when she mumbles a quick, ‘thanks’, before turning to the table in the corner to count the contents of the bin. 

Joshua doesn’t know why he’s staring. Doesn’t know why he thinks she looks cute in hot pink scrubs and a ponytail. Doesn’t know why he likes how concentrated she looks. It burns him up inside that he wants to talk to her when he couldn’t wait to be rid of her last semester. 

Impulsively, Joshua says, “Are you okay?”

She doesn’t look up from the bin. “Yeah, why do you ask?”

“It’s just, we haven’t talked since…” He trails off when he sees the tension building in her shoulders. 

She looks up at him with confusion all over her face. “Joshua, I don’t mean to sound like a smart ass, but what would there be to talk about? That tweet was pretty clear about where we stood.”

“So? You have nothing to say?” Joshua’s blood starts to boil.

“What is there to say? No one wants to hear it anyway,” Y/N says with a bit of bitterness.

“A lot of people want to hear an apology,” Joshua seethed. “You’ve fucked with a lot of people.”

“Yeah. I know how to read twitter comments, Joshua,” Y/N snapped, throwing things back into the bin haphazardly to turn to him fully. “Are you happy? I don’t even know what I did to you. Other guys, fine. I’m not great to date, I get it now. The comments made it crystal clear. But I did absolutely nothing to you.”

“Absolutely nothing? What about sleeping with your best friend while you were seeing me?” 

Y/N throws her hands over her face in exasperation. “When we were 16! Not once since then. I’m so sick of explaining this.”

Joshua freezes. “What? But I heard you guys talking about it.” He watches realization wash over her face. 

“Oh my god,” she groans into her hands again. “You’re telling me you spread a rumor like that because you eavesdropped on a snippet of a conversation that you had no context for?” Joshua’s silence must be answer enough because she barrels on. “We did what stupid teenagers do and wanted to lose our virginities to someone we trusted. And if you had waited five fucking seconds, you would have heard him say that he was happy things were going well with us.” She laughs, but it’s not right because it sounds a little watery. “I really liked you, Joshua. I don’t know what I did to deserve all this. And I don’t give a fuck about the mean girls on the cheer team or in the sorority, or the gross guys on the basketball team, or anyone else on campus for that matter. But you almost wrecked the two relationships that I’ve had for my entire life.”

“You deserve it because I’ve met girls like you,” Joshua bit. “You just have to smile and you get handed whatever you want. You play with people like toys until you get bored.”

“Well, I didn’t get what I wanted, now did I?” Now she’s crying but she looks furious. “You saw to that, did you? All I wanted was for it to finally feel right with someone, and when it did it was all a trick.”

Joshua scoffs. “Like it’ll take you long to move on.”

Y/N’s chin wobbles in the dim lighting and there’s a pang in Joshua’s chest at the sight. “Oh no. I’ll be swearing off dating from now on. No one will have anymore reasons to fuel their stupid pranks or trap dates or twitter accounts.” Joshua freezes again and Y/N is on a roll now. “You didn’t think I would figure out who was behind all of that? It’s a little too convenient that you’ve been hanging out with just about everyone mentioned in that stupid tweet. Do you guys feel like you’ve gotten your revenge now? I considered dropping out over all of this. Would that have made you guys happy to never see me again?”

Joshua stumbles over his words. He didn’t expect her to piece everything together, and he really didn’t expect that she considered not coming back to finish her degree. She was a good student and seemed so invested in her future. But it doesn’t matter what he has to say because she’s shoving the clipboard into his chest hard as she passes by him. “You finish the rest. I can’t fucking reach it anyway.” 

The door slams behind her and he looks around the supply closet for help understanding what just happened. He feels guilty now in a way he hadn’t throughout this whole experiment. He’d felt that he had no choice but to transfer after the embarrassment that was the end of his relationship with Lily, and now he’d just made someone feel the same way. But she was brave enough to come back while he ran across the world with his tail between his legs.

When he finally snaps back to attention, it takes him way more than three counts to get each line item right. 

~

Two months have passed and things are looking up for Y/N. She, Seungcheol, and Jeonghan are glued to each other again just like it’s meant to be. What few classes she has to take are going well. And she’s getting used to the way things are with other people around campus. Once she got over the initial shock and subsequent depression at the whole situation, she decided not to acknowledge it anymore. She didn’t entertain the conversation with her sorority sisters or teammates when they asked if she was seeing someone. She was getting really good at shutting out anyone that asked her out, which seemed to be just as frequent as it was before. She used to enjoy the attention, but now she just saw a bunch of red flags. 

Her escape had become her internship. After the first day, Joshua was working in another unit so she didn’t have to see him. As promised when she was offered the internship, she would be shadowing in the ER. It was mostly triaging or assisting the non-critical cases, and she didn't even get to do the fun stuff. Mostly, she would call patients back and gather their history under the supervision of an RN. Then she might escort them to a room when one became available. The exciting days were when she could assist with treatments, but it was mostly handing the doctor or nurse things and holding the patient’s hand while she talked their ear off to distract them. 

Today was a triage shift and it was almost over when the nurse from the front desk gave her a new clip board and walked away. Y/N sees the name on the sheet and smacks her forehead with the clipboard hard. Then, resigned, she goes to the lobby. 

“Lee Seokmin.” 

He hobbles into the triage station with another guy holding him up on one side. She can tell he’s surprised to see her, but she doesn’t react to it. “Have a seat,” she said, pointing. She also drags over two more chairs so he can prop up his foot and his friend can sit down. “I’m Y/N and this is Yunseo.” Yunseo waved from the other side of the computer. “Yunseo is the RN for triage today, but since I’m an intern, she’s letting me take some of your medical history. Injured foot, huh?” She says neutrally. 

“Ankle I think… Y/N, this is my friend Junhui.”

Y/N gives Junhui a polite smile, but she can tell by his reaction to her name that he knows quite a bit about what’s been going on last semester. “What happened?” She asks Seokmin. 

“We were rehearsing and I tripped,” Seokmin sighs. 

“Can I take a look? I have to make sure it isn’t critical. If it is, I need to hand it off Yunseo right now.” Seokmin doesn’t hesitate to roll up the leg of his jeans. His ankle is swollen and starting to develop a nasty bruise. Y/N hums sympathetically, and Yunseo nods encouragingly to her to continue. This is how Y/N knows she’s right to assume it’s not critical. “I’m sorry, that’s rough.” She backs away from Seokmin. “Well, unfortunately there’s not much to do until a doctor can see you besides icing your ankle and taking information for your records.” When Seokmin nods, Y/N zips out of the room.

She wants to linger at the ice machine for a breather, but today’s charge nurse is in the break room taking lunch. So, Y/N works quickly to get the bag of ice and returns to Seokmin and Junhui. Once the ice is on Seokmin’s ankle, Y/N plops down in front of the computer. It’s both a blessing and a curse that these questionnaires are so long. On one hand, there’s not a lot of time for them to talk about anything else when she’s peppering him with questions one after another. On the other hand, it feels like it takes an eternity to get through it. She tries to focus on the fact that this is good experience with Yunseo over her shoulder pointing out certain things.

Y/N feels like she’s so close to freedom after she’s rolled Seokmin in a wheelchair to an exam room while Yunseo calls the next patient to get started. “Someone will be in to see you shortly, but call if you need anything,” she says professionally. Her hand is on the knob to pull it closed behind her when Seokmin speaks up. 

“Y/N? I’m sorry.” 

She pauses and she can’t help but frown at him. He does look sorry actually, guilt all over his face. Junhui must sense where this is going, so he asks where the vending machine is and excuses himself. Y/N is still standing in the doorway, arms crossed now. “Sorry for what?”

“For the experiment. The pranks. Joshua. The twitter account.”

Y/N blinks at him because she’s not sure what else to do. “Experiment?”

“It all started as a psych experiment - conformity on social media. But it got out of control… and that sounds really stupid when I say it out loud.” Seokmin rubs the back of his neck. 

“Yeah, it does,” Y/N murmured. She looks around the pristine exam room because she can’t really look at him. She’d just started to feel better from all of this, but now she’s learning of a whole other layer to it. Her misery lately is a result of a class assignment made of questionable ethics. She’d really like to forget about all of it. “I guess I owe you an apology too. I didn’t mean anything by cutting things off, and I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that I wanted more.”

“You didn’t,” Seokmin insists and she looks at him in confusion. “I thought maybe you led me on. I was upset at how things had gone with us. That’s the whole reason I agreed to any of this in the first place. But the longer I think about it, you were pretty honest about how you felt. You shouldn’t have to apologize because I got my hopes up.”

“You’re not the only one though. That twitter account kind of makes it seem like it’s a habit of mine.”

“Yeah… that got really out of control. I’m sorry you had to see any of it. But if it makes you feel any better, it was hacked and deleted.” 

Y/N found herself laughing. “Hacked? Who did that?”

Seokmin looks amused. “Let’s just say you have a very talented friend looking out for you. He shut down that dating app because of you too.” Y/N’s eyes widen. 

“Man, you guys were serious about this revenge.” 

She watches Seokmin relax because she’s laughing again and he finally laughs too. “Yeah, like I said. Out of control. I’ve been trying to convince them to apologize. I think Mingyu, Jihoon, and Seungkwan will come around… I’m not sure about Joshua.”

“Seungkwan? Boo Seungkwan?”

Seokmin nods. “He ran the twitter account.”

“Ah,” Y/N sighs. “Well, you might be right about Joshua. He’s interning here too, and that’s going about as well as you would expect.”

“Total avoidance, huh?” When Y/N raises an eyebrow, he shakes his head. “We haven’t seen or heard much from him either.”

Junhui’s hovering outside of the door with a pack of cookies and a loud crunch gives him away. It makes Y/N laugh. “You can come back in. I’m leaving for real this time.” 

A couple hours later, she waves to Seokmin and Junhui as she leaves. It’s kind of a relief to know that someone involved feels a little bad, but she thinks he’s probably wrong. She won’t be getting an apology from any of the others. 

~

“You want me to do what?” Wonwoo asks. He thinks he’s heard the request wrong and he’s confused. 

“Bring the twitter account back,” Seungkwan requests again. 

Wonwoo sighs and nods. “Ah, that’s what I thought you said. Two questions, are you stupid and do you know what the word ‘deleted’ means?”

Seungkwan is totally unfazed by the insult. “It’s for another project. You can’t restore it?”

Wonwoo can’t help but glance around the table. The whole crew is back together and he was kind of hoping that would never happen again. It had been a disaster last semester. He finally pins Mingyu with a look. “I told you that you guys would not get a technical method to do this again.” 

“It’s not what you think. We probably should have led with that,” Mingyu puts his hands up in defense. 

“Then what is it? I deleted it for a reason. Nothing on there should have seen the light of day, especially near the end,” Wonwoo says impatiently. He wants nothing more than to be rid of these little requests because he doesn’t trust any of them as far as he can throw them. 

“We need the reach to issue an apology,” Jihoon says simply. “We can’t do that with a brand new account.”

“An apology?” Wonwoo’s laugh gets caught in his throat because he never thought he’d hear something like this considering how evil they were last semester. “This should be good. Tell me more.”

“We’ve been talking,” Seokmin started. “We got carried away and we’d like to reel this back in if we can.”

“There’s not a lot of reeling back in you can do,” Wonwoo scoffs. “The damage is done. Now you guys get to feel guilty about it.”

“Yeah, that’s why we’d like to issue an apology,” Mingyu says. “So can you restore it or not?”

“No! The warning message says ‘permanently deleted’ for a reason.” Wonwoo lies through his teeth. He’s not going to tell him he didn’t hit delete. Instead, he’d changed the email attached to the account and hit ‘deactivate’. “Besides, an in-person apology will probably go much farther. If you’re apologizing to the person I think you’re apologizing to, she doesn’t even have a twitter account anymore to see it.” 

“I don’t think she’d want to see us,” Jihoon huffed. “Which is fair, I guess.”

Seokmin shrugs. “I don’t know, she wasn’t mean to me or anything when I was in the ER last week.”

Joshua has been silent the whole time. Wonwoo’s not sure why he’s even here because he might have been the cruelest of them all and hadn’t seemed to regret any of it. Wonwoo stares him down. “Are you part of this apology too?” He watches Joshua hesitate for a moment, then nod. 

Wonwoo purses his lips. “I can’t promise anything. They might really mean ‘permanently deleted’ when they say it.” He lies through his teeth again. He needs some time to think about it before he hands the account back to any of them. He glares at Seungkwan. “But I’ll be doing some major clean up if I can actually restore it.”

Seungkwan nods eagerly. “I would have done it anyway, but have at it. You’ll probably be faster at it anyway.”

“Great. But how do we make sure she sees it?” Mingyu asks. 

Something catches Joshua’s eye and suddenly he’s jumping out of his seat. 

~

If Joshua had to describe Seungcheol and Jeonghan in one word, he would say overprotective. He got that vibe at the dinner and movie triple date he met them at. He’s definitely getting that vibe now. In fact, he thinks they might leap over the table at any of them. Maybe Joshua first though with the dirty looks he’s getting.

Joshua has to talk fast to get them to agree to even sit down with the group at the table. Jeonghan even sets a timer for five minutes passive aggressively. 

They explain everything, starting from the psych experiment, to the dating app, the pranks,, the twitter account, and Joshua. Seungcheol and Jeonghan look totally unimpressed. Joshua gets that because it all sounds so fucking stupid now that they have to explain it.

“And you think an apology will fix this?” Seungcheol asks coldly. 

“We’d like to try,” Mingyu says weakly. He’s been feeling Seungcheol’s wrath for two months now. He doesn’t want to run anymore laps or do anymore pushups. 

“It better be a damn good one then. You know she almost didn’t come back to school?” Seungcheol snapped. 

“Yeah, we heard that,” Jihoon said, glancing at Joshua. “Look, we would approach her if we thought she would hear us out. But we’ve made a mess of this to everyone else that followed that stupid account and we need to correct this with them too.”

“I thought it got deleted?” Jeonghan asks, eyes narrowed. 

“That’s why he’s here,” Mingyu says, pointing to Wonwoo. Wonwoo waves him off with a simple ‘don’t talk to me’. “He’s going to try to recover the account. The problem is that we’d also like her to see it.”

Jeonghan scoffs, a bitter smile on his face. “Yeah, good luck getting her back on there.” 

“That’s what we’d like your help with actually,” Joshua started. 

Seungcheol and Jeonghan share a look. The timer goes off on Jeonghan’s phone, but they stay anyway. 

~

It’s Saturday morning and Y/N is busy hosting a sorority house meeting. The president and vice president have been away at a conference and won’t make it back in time to run the meeting themselves, and as the treasurer the duty falls to her. Her phone has been buzzing in her pocket the whole time and she keeps ignoring it. She’s thinking it’s Jeonghan blowing up her phone because he’s bored, something he likes to do when she’s inconveniently busy. She has no problem making him wait for a bit. 

But it’s becoming apparent that something exciting is happening what with the way all of her sorority sisters will not focus on anything she’s saying. It’s starting to get frustrating and when Y/N can’t take it anymore, she bangs the gavel as a call to order. “Okay, what’s going on? I’m trying to run a meeting here.”

A young sophomore named Ara hesitantly stood up, but she was smiling when she handed over her phone. “You might want to read this, Y/N.”

Y/N didn’t have to skim long before she mumbled, “Meeting adjourned. Have a good day, ladies.”

~

Did you miss us? Yes - us. 

I started this account a little over two years ago and have always enjoyed interacting with all of you. But if you’ve been a follower for a while, you may have noticed a shift in the tone of this account. You won’t find any evidence of that here now, but… if you know, you know.

That’s because this became a team project last semester. I’ll be honest. It was a revenge plot and as we look back on this plot of ours, we’re embarrassed. We all got carried away, some because of hurt feelings and some because of a desire to run a successful account with a thirst for drama.

So, here it goes. We built a dating app, the one that was posted on here a while back. It was used to make a match with someone that had the same kind of vendetta some of us had against Choi Y/N. 

While we waited for this app to be ready, we began pranking Y/N. At first, we thought it was harmless, but things escalated quickly. (Y/N, we still owe you a new laptop.)

When the dating app was ready, Joshua joined us with the goal of giving Y/N what we perceived to be a taste of her own medicine. We were cruel. Particularly near the end of the semester with our little exposé. 

We owe Choi Y/N an apology. A big one that we’ll probably never convince her that we mean honestly. For the pranks. For Joshua. For the way this account was used. For nearly ruining over 20 years of friendship between her and Yoon Jeonghan on a baseless rumor, and damaging the relationship between her and her twin brother, Choi Seungcheol. 

Y/N, if you’re reading this (and we hope you are), we’d like to start making this up to you. Reach out if you’re interested. 

Seungkwan, Mingyu, Jihoon, Seokmin, and Joshua

~Epilogue

Joshua sips his drink and looks across the table at Kim Mingyu and his date, Harin. The woman is nice but seems shy, or maybe even a bit nervous to meet any of Mingyu’s friends. Mingyu works with her at the architecture firm where they’re both junior partners on the same team. Mingyu’s told Joshua that he really likes her and Joshua can clearly see it. He’s got total heart eyes for her and everything she says or does. But the thing is, it’s their third date.

The number three is cursed in their friend group now. Three drinks is not the right number when they go out because something bad always happens - nothing tragic or anything, just a rough night of cleaning up vomit or carrying your friends home. That doesn’t happen with two or four drinks. 

If no more or no less than three of them can hang out, they don’t. Not in person, because they always seemed to find themselves in trouble - again, nothing tragic, just inconvenient things like Mingyu's car breaking down. And not even through things like FaceTime. One time, when Seokmin was traveling and wanted to chat, the power went out on the entire block leaving Jihoon and Wonwoo in the dark. Wonwoo laughed and said it must be the curse, until he realized he was being included in the curse now.

Joshua didn’t believe them at first when they kept saying they were cursed, but the kicker was how date number three was always the worst. It had become a big point of anxiety for all of them to get over that particular date if they wanted it to work out. This wasn’t just the core three that started that mess way back when. Seungkwan, Wonwoo, and Joshua had all had some bad luck too. 

So when Mingyu asked for some company on this third date that he really wanted to go well, Joshua had shrugged and said, “Find me a date.”

This has happened so many times that Joshua is not nervous for this mystery woman to show up. Besides, he’s too busy on his second drink. Clinicals have been kicking his ass and he’s stared at the ceiling every night this week wondering why he thought med school was a good idea. But he’s more than half way done, so after a little pep talk he decides to stick it out every time. 

“So where’s your date, Joshua?” Harin asks politely, trying to make conversation. 

Joshua shrugs with a laugh. “Ask Mingyu, he’s set this up.”

Mingyu is on his phone, texting someone. “She’s running late and has to come straight from work. She apologizes but we can order with out her.”

Joshua waves it off because he’s in no rush. “What did you say her name was again?”

Mingyu hadn’t said, actually, and he has a bit of a sly expression on his face when he glances up from his phone briefly. “You’ll meet her any minute. I think you’ll like her.”

“Do you set up your friends often?” Harin teases, but looks kind of confused when Mingyu and Joshua both laugh.

“Something like that. Oh, here she is!” Mingyu gestures to the restaurant entrance and Joshua turns. The woman is pretty, dressed nicely in slacks and a floral blouse. Joshua likes her already. 

He turns back to Mingyu instantaneously in amusement. “You have to stop doing this.” 

“Doing what?” Mingyu asks innocently. “Setting you up with a pretty friend of mine?”

“She’s going to yell at you again,” Joshua warns, still very amused. 

A purse slams into the seat next to Joshua. The woman scoffs, falling into it. “Kim Mingyu, I told you to stop trying to set us up.”

“Oh, come on! It would be perfect, Y/N!” Mingyu cries. 

Y/N looks irritated but Joshua can tell it’s mostly for show. They’re so close now that he knows when she’s just messing with Mingyu and the others like this. She responds this way every time they try to set Y/N and Joshua up. 

“Just say you hate me,” Joshua teases, wide grin on his face. 

Y/N’s having a hard time hiding her smile now. “I hate you, Joshua Hong.”

“Uh,” poor Harin starts, confused. “You two know each other then? I thought this was supposed to be a blind date or something.”

“Something indeed,” Y/N answers easily. “We’ve known each other for years. We’re in med school together and we’re also roommates.” Harin’s eyes flare and she gives a small confused, ‘oh’. Y/N waves it away, “It’s Mingyu being Mingyu. He likes to meddle in the love lives of others.”

Joshua laughs at the jab and how Mingyu rolls his eyes. It’s an old inside joke now, one that Harin doesn’t quite get, but they’ll leave it that way. 

During dinner, Mingyu and Harin ask about Y/N’s clinicals. They already know about Joshua’s because Y/N ran quite late today. Joshua’s not really listening because he already knows everything - the consequences of being best friends and roommates. They order anything except for three drinks and Harin is confused by their insistence. 

After their apology on that damned twitter account, it took almost two weeks before Y/N came around. The group was starting to think they were shit out of luck, but they had just decided to wipe their hands of it because they’d done everything they could do, just short of a face to face apology. They were sure she didn’t want to be approached and anything they could say would sound so lame anyway.

But the group had actually become pretty good friends over the course of their plotting, so they kept hanging out afterwards. They were all at lunch together one day when they hear a small cough behind them. Y/N looks nervous. “Do you mind if I join in?”

They really didn’t know what to expect when Wonwoo scooted over to share the bench with her. But it certainly wasn’t an, ‘I accept your apology.’

None of them really felt like they deserved it, but they started going out of their way to be friendly with Y/N. Inviting her to lunch with them, studying with her, walking with her to class. Seungkwan even let her hit the ‘delete’ button on the twitter account when Wonwoo handed it back over. 

And Joshua had made a lot of effort to go see her on the first floor of the hospital while they had their internship, even going as far as to take their breaks or walk back to campus together. And when they’d both gotten into the same med school and were looking for housing, they both kind of shrugged and picked a two bedroom apartment near the hospital. It had proved to be a good move if only because your roommate understood your weird schedules. Med school wasn’t for the weak and they’d found that out pretty quickly together.

So Y/N and Joshua had fallen into an easy routine. Go to class together, go to clinical rotations together when possible, and eat together almost every night. If they couldn’t eat together, one would make something and put it in the fridge for the other. They’d become each other’s biggest support system and every now and then he had to laugh at how they started because they meshed so well now. When they were doing each other’s laundry or bickering about ordering from the same sushi place again, he wondered why he wanted to hate her so much back then.

Because he certainly didn’t hate her. Probably never did. He actually loved her, usually in a platonic way. But every now and then there were reminders of what it was like back then. She was still pretty and funny and smart and charming after all and had the same effect she always did on men, including Joshua occasionally.

But she didn’t like dating. She flat out refused anyone that asked her out and only showed up to dinners like this because a friend like Mingyu asked her to. Joshua hadn’t seen her with anyone in nearly four years beyond these little blind dates. Some were with friends of friends, like Vernon and Soonyoung, Jihoon’s friends from college. But most of them were with Joshua when they could trick the two of them into showing up at the same place unknowingly. 

Their friends had gotten it in their head that Y/N and Joshua would be great together. And here’s the thing, Joshua didn’t hate the idea. But he knew Y/N did so he continually scolded them for how pushy they were. She always said she was too busy to date now, but he knew their little stunt years ago had left a mark. Y/N and Joshua had kind of hoped they’d forgotten about their little matchmaking venture because it had been a few months since a set up like this, but Joshua guesses they were wrong. 

Y/N and Joshua say goodbye to Mingyu and Harin and begin to walk home together. He’s pretty sure they look like a couple coming home from a first date. God only knows they get comments all the time about it, but they’ve stopped correcting people when they say something about it. Joshua still feels a bit of a rush when it happens anyway and it’s taken years for him to figure out why. 

Joshua thinks about what that would be like. In a lot of ways, nothing would change. She’s still warm to him, but sometimes he misses her touch. Sometimes when she’s had a hard day or is struggling with something, he’ll wrap his arms around her and he remembers being like this years ago, no matter how brief it was. He remembers them walking together just like this and her shyly reaching for his hand. Sometimes his fingers twitch with the desire to reach out.

But her hands stay wrapped around her stomach in the chill of the night so he doesn’t. He knows she wouldn’t want that. Which is just as well. He knows she’s a friend for life, one that he doesn’t really deserve. 

i’m giggling so fucking bad

→ PAIRING: Seokmin x Afab!Reader. → GENRE: College!Au, kinda comedy, small bit of angst if you look hard enough, teeny tiny fluff, smut MDNI. → SYNOPSIS: After having a crush on Lee Seokmin for three years, he somehow ends up wanting to be your roommate. Instead of rejecting him, you decide to give him the vacant room - right after confessing your feelings for him.

→ WARNINGS: roommate!seok, wet dreams, coming untouched (f), degradation, usage of the words slut, baby, angel, masturbation (m), making out, like really so much kissing, fingering, finger-sucking, she loves his fingers lol, unprotected sex (don't.. just don't), creampie.

→  WORDCOUNT: 11.5k

A/N: hi guys!! here it is (for some of you even on the date it was scheduled to be posted!), my first ever stand-alone svt fic! no part 2, no whole ass series, just this cute 11.5k baby I wrote after being deep inside my seokmin shaped hole (i am always in a seokmin shaped hole actually). i want to thank my bestie @honeykyeom for making the amazing header as well for being my inspiration for writing this <3 ily!! now, i hope you enjoy and as always please reblog & comment, these things are what makes writing worth while <3

You had a crush. A big fat stupid crush. And it was starting to get extremely annoying. You really tried to stop liking him because a.) he didn’t even know you existed and b.) even if he did he would never ever like you back because what are the odds for that to actually happen?

“People get together all the time, Y/N, stop being dumb,” Seungkwan, your best friend, would say on the regular since the topic came up basically every other day. Yet, you still didn’t believe the Lee Seokmin would ever give you so much as a second glance. He was too perfect. Perfect grades, perfect friend group, perfect face, perfect everything. You had first laid eyes on him on your first day of classes - he had started the same year as you, smile on his face, shiny new MacBook propped in front of him. He wore an adorable baby blue sweater and black rimmed glasses, his hair falling into his forehead and, god, you were gone the second you heard his honey dripping voice. 

That had been three years ago and now, both of you in your senior years, you still hadn’t talked to him even once. Or well, no, you had, when he had asked you for a phone charger which you had given him in exactly three seconds. You were still proud of that. 

*

“Hey, I heard you’re looking for a roommate?” 

“Are you- are you talking to me?” Your index finger was pointing at yourself while you blinked a few times at the person in front of you. 

“Uh, I mean, you are Y/N, right?” Kim Mingyu seemed just as confused as you. Probably because you were in fact Y/N and you were, in fact, looking for a roommate, but how on earth did he know that?

“No, I mean, yes, yes I am, but, uh, how do you- how do you know I’m looking for a roommate?”

“Oh, Seungkwan told me!” 

“You know Seungkwan?!”

Mingyu seems a little startled by your sudden outburst. You cleared your throat before chuckling nervously.

“S-sorry, I just didn’t know Seungkwan and you knew each other.”

“We go to the same gym, actually, and I told him my friend is desperately looking for a place and he told me you are in search of a roommate so…,” his smile was bright and pretty and you felt like you were about to wake up from a dream because why the hell was Seokmin’s bestie talking to you as if he had done it thousand of times before?

“I see, uh, I mean, I am definitely desperate for a roommate, rent you know, like, uh, I need to pay it soon and… well, I am short half of it and that’s what I would… need the roommate for,” you scratched your ear. Smooth.

“No, I understand! And my friend is just as desperate. See, he just broke up with his long-term girlfriend, she cheated on him, and now he just really needs to move out.”

“Oh, damn, sorry about that. You can tell him he can come by, eh, does tomorrow work? Like afternoon-ish? I have classes until four.”

“Awesome! I’ll let him know, thank you Y/N!”

Mingyu beamed at you, his hand up in the air as he waved, walking away and out of the building. Letting out a sigh you hadn’t even known you were holding, you grabbed your phone from your bag and unlocked it, quickly moving your fingers over the display to call Seungkwan. Walking out the opposite direction Mingyu had, you waited for your best friend to pick up, pushing open the door into the hot air of the early evening. 

“What’s up?” Seungkwan finally picked up and you rolled your eyes at the greeting.

“Hello to you too, Kwannie,” you said in a sweet voice, hearing Seungkwan scoff as a response.

“I’m in the middle of something, Y/N. So, what’s up?” 

“Kim Mingyu just asked me if a friend of his can move in with me,” you raised your brows as you walked over the campus to the parking lot, the keys to your car already dangling from your fingers, “care to tell me why you didn’t mention that?”

“Ah, that, well, I actually met Mingyu at the gym earlier today, like super early morning, and heard him talk to his friend on the phone and well, since I do have a few classes with him, I thought I should offer.”

“You should offer? Pretty sure it’s still my apartment you were selling off to a stranger.”

“Now, now. Mingyu isn’t a stranger now, is he? How many times have you stalked his insta now to look at that one specific gym picture of Seokm-,”

“Whatever, just- just please, for the future, let me know when you tell someone about my living situation, alright?”

“Sure thing, bestie. Now, can I get back to what I was doing?”

“Of course. Tell Hansol I said hi.” Before he could either protest or deny, you hung up and shoved your phone into your pocket. 

*

You dreamt of him again. It was a rare occasion, but it happened. Most of the time the dreams were innocent enough, just him touching your face, him laughing at your jokes, him simply acknowledging your existence. 

But this one was different. 

Seokmin was right above you, his body hot and sweaty. His eyes said so much more than words ever could and yet you longed to hear his voice. Longed to hear him say your name. He was buried deep inside you, his hips still, eyes never leaving yours. He throbbed, his whole body seemingly vibrated at how much he wanted you, your legs wrapped around his waist, wanting nothing more than for him to take you, mark you, fill you. 

“Tell me what you want,” he whispered, his hand caressing your face and you moved your head, your mouth sucking in his thumb, feeling him twitch inside of you.

“You can’t really talk with that in your mouth, can you, Y/N?” Fuck, his voice was so low so deep and when he finally moved down to kiss your neck, stuffing his thumb even further down your mouth, his hips now beginning to thrust, all of you began to shake. 

Then, suddenly, you were in your living room, right there on that windowsill that connected the kitchen and the living room, his hips drilling into you. He was wearing a dress shirt and a black tie, but both of it was loosened around his neck, your hands on his broad shoulders as he seemed to have made it his goal to fuck you senseless. You were a moaning mess, his lips sucking harshly on your skin, you yourself being completely naked. His mouth was everywhere: your neck, your stiff nipple, your lips. He took all of you in and you breathed in every bit he gave you. 

“You’re so fucking good for me, baby, so good, such a good little slut, letting me fuck her like this.”

“Mhm, y-yes, I l-love the way you f-fuck me, Seok!” His grip on you got stronger, hands digging harshly into your hips as he threw his head back now, your eyes taking in all of his beauty. The droplets of sweat, the bopping Adam’s apple as he swallowed, the way his vein popped out right there on his neck…

“Gonna make me cum, baby,” he moaned and you nodded strongly, feeling your own climax so close.

“Please, want your cum so bad!” you whined and as if those had been the magic words, Seokmin emptied inside of you, the feeling of his cum hitting you so deep-

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

You screamed, while your back hit the floor. You had fallen out of bed, your alarm blasting on the other side of your bed. 

“Fuck,” you groaned, sitting up slowly, your hand rubbing the back of your head. Funnily enough, that wasn’t the only part of you that throbbed. Just for a completely different reason. 

-

“You came in your sleep?” Seungkwan was impressed with you. You just wanted to punch him because why did he have to say that this loud right in the line for lunch?

“Shut up!” you said through gritted teeth and Seungkwan snorted, before grabbing the big spoon for the Kimchi.

“Don’t worry, no one is listening.” Instead of arguing with him you rolled your eyes and grabbed some Japchae before heading to the drinks. 

“But to answer your question: yes, I did. And no, that has never happened before. Like, I never ever had a dream like that, Seungkwan, never!”

“Aw, I can’t believe my best friend lost her wet dream virginity at the ripe age of 24!” He grinned as the two of you sat down at an empty table. You ignored him.

“It was so real. I honestly feel sick to my stomach. How could it have been so real?” 

It was truly astonishing to you. Hours had passed and the dream was still there, playing in your head over and over again, making you squeeze your thighs together more than not in the worst moments. Statistic class wasn’t supposed to make you horny and yet, you couldn’t say it hadn’t.

“I’m jealous. I never had an actual wet dream make me cum before, like yeah, I woke up with cum in my underwear before, but then again that’s kind of normal I guess?”

“Dude! You don’t need wet dreams to make you orgasm, you have a literal boyfriend!”

“He is not my boyfriend!” Seungkwan protested and you grabbed your juice box to take a dramatic sip from it. 

“Well, sounds like a you problem. Doesn’t change the fact you’re getting laid, though.” Seungkwan scoffed, crossing his arms as he leaned back in his chair. He apparently didn’t have a comeback. Served him right.

“It’s not like you are trying to change that,” nevermind. You sigh, putting the drink down again.

“What am I supposed to do? Just hook up with a random guy and act like I’m not madly in love with someone who doesn’t know I exist?”

“He knows you exist, you god damn drama queen. You had every class together first semester!”

You ignored him. Instead, you decided that your Japchae is the most interesting thing you had ever seen. Seungkwan shook his head and clicked his tongue.

“You’re an idiot, Y/N. Like the biggest idiot I have ever met.”

“Takes one to know one,” you muttered as a response, feeling a piece of kimchi hitting your cheek the next second. 

*

You were home at four forty-five and hoped there would still be time to clean up the place at least a little bit before the potential-new-roommate-slash-friend-of-Kim-Mingyu showed up. In record time you found yourself standing in a semi-clean living room (meaning: maybe the floor showed some signs of needing to be vacuumed, but at least everything looked tidy) with all the windows open in hope for some cool air because you sure as hell weren’t going to turn on the AC without another person to cover the costs. 

Just as you finished changing into some clothes not sweated through, the doorbell rang. Quickly, you made your way to the door, buzzing them up, only to hear a knock on the door next. Oh, so he had been let in already. Putting on your most charming smile, you pulled the door open, only for the smile to fade the second you saw who stood there right in front of your door. 

“Y/N?” 

Lee Seokmin had just said your name. And he was standing in front of your apartment.

“Seokmin, what- what are you doing here?” You asked, oblivious to the situation. 

“I- uh, I- Mingyu said he told you I was coming?”

“Mingyu? No he said that-,” you lost your ability to speak just then. The friend Mingyu had been talking about-

“Wait, you- you’re the potential new roommate?!” Your voice was barely anything but a squeak. Seokmin looked a little lost, his fingers nervously fidgeting with the hem of his oversized yellow jumper.

“Yeah, did he not mention that?” 

Nope, seems like he forgot that part. You swallowed, pressing your lips together for a second while your brain tried to fully grasp the situation. This was Seokmin. Aka the guy you have been in love with for three years. And he wanted to move in with you. 

“Uh, no. Sorry, please come in!” You took a step back and Seokmin smiled at you (HE smiled at YOU!!!), walking into your apartment and looking around as you closed the door, hoping your racing heart would calm down. You wouldn’t exactly bet on it though. 

Seokmin took his shoes off and you watched him, already beginning to chew on your lip like you always did when you were nervous. He turned around and you quickly smiled, walking into the living space.

“So, this is the living room, it uh-,” you stopped speaking, your eyes now on the window connecting the kitchen and living room, on the windowsill you had just dreamt about last night. Your face suddenly got very hot. 

“It connects to the kitchen through that window, which I thought was really cool, big selling point,” you watched as Seokmin walked over to the kitchen, his eyes roaming through the room and when he stopped in front of the window, hand touching the sill you nearly felt yourself loose footing. Why the fuck did he have to do this? For a second you were convinced this was just another dream. 

“It definitely is unique,” he said, nodding and walking into the small but modern kitchen.

“Uhm, there is a dishwasher in the kitchen and a microwave. We don’t have an oven, but I am pretty sure I have like a small one in the attic. I am more of a take-out or quick meal kind of gal, so I don’t really use it much. But if you were interested in baking something, I could definitely get it down,” Jesus, why on earth were you talking so much? But Seokmin seemed to appreciate it, nodding understandingly as he looked around with a small pout on his lips. Maybe this wasn’t the right moment (or maybe it was the perfect moment) to stare at him, but you did. You watched his every move, how he checked out the cupboards, how he asked before he opened the fridge, how he pulled a hand through his hair as he asked a question. 

Oh! 

“Sorry?” You crossed your arms, the hotness of your cheeks only increasing. Seokmin chuckled.

“I asked if you had a certain system in your fridge with your old roommate.”

“Oh, well, not really. We kind of always planned what we were going to eat, she was a big cook actually. Enjoyed it a lot. I store my Ramen right here, wait,” you walked into the kitchen fully now too, to the cupboard next to where Seokmin was standing and got on your tiptoes to reach for the door, opening it in a swing.

“There,” you explained, looking over at Seokmin - only to see him look at you instead of the food. You blinked a few times. He blushed.

“Ah, yes, I see. Cool. So, uh, no system. That’s fine with me! I wouldn’t say I’m a cook per sé, but I can hook up some simple dishes,” he turned away, your whole body suddenly feeling a lot hotter than a second before. Nodding, you closed the cupboard again and walked back outside. Seokmin followed you.

You showed him the rest of the apartment (except for your room) and finally the two of you ended up in the living room again where you sat down on the couch. 

“I, uh, I would love to take the room, Y/N. But it’s obviously up to you.” His smile was so… you gulped down whatever response you had in your mind. Now wasn’t the time to eat right out of his hands, no, you had to think about this. On the one hand, you really needed a roommate. There was no chance you could hold this apartment by yourself and you really didn’t want to move. But on the other hand, this was Seokmin. You couldn’t just let him move in with you when you liked him this much, could you? At least not without him knowing. An idea popped into your head. It was risky and stupid and you would probably regret this. But then again - if he wanted to move in, and apparently he was just as desperate as you to get this room, it would only be fair to let him know what the situation was. 

“Look, Seokmin,” you started, your hands in your lap, your heart racing again (or still). You looked up at him, your cheeks still bright red. Seokmin watched you, unsure what to make of your current behavior. He decided to just let you talk.

“I really need a roommate. And you really need a place to live. Mingyu, uh, he told me about the break-up and I’m really sorry about that,” - you were also happy you hadn’t tried to make a move considering he had a girlfriend -, “but I would feel horrible to let you take this room without knowing the full truth.” 

Now, Seokmin got a little spooked. The full truth? Were you going to confess that you were a drug dealer? Part of some gang? But then you probably wouldn’t need a roommate considering you’d make good money. 

“I, uh, okay,” Seokmin swallowed hard. You took a deep breath.

“I like you. As in, I like you. I have for years now. I didn’t know you had a girlfriend, and to be honest, even if I had, I probably wouldn’t have succeeded in getting over this crush. I’m not telling you because I am expecting anything from you, I promise, hell, I never planned on telling you ever. But you want the room and I would be happy to give it to you, I would just feel weird having you live here with this big secret to keep.”

There were approximately three minutes of silence in which you were sure Seokmin would get up and leave. He stared at you, his mouth slightly dropped and you could have kicked yourself for finding him endearing. Starting to shift on your seat once the third minute started, Seokmin realized he had been staring instead of answering. But then again, he really had not expected this sudden confession. 

“I, uh, I am flattered, Y/N, really, I just, I- I just got out of a relationship and-,”

“I know that! As I said, I didn’t tell you because I want anything from you. I have been happy liking you from afar, Seokmin. And who knows, maybe having you close by all the time will actually make me stop liking you. I mean, what if you’re like a total slob or listen to super weird historical podcasts?” 

“What do you have against historical podcasts?” Seokmin asked, eyebrows raised in surprise. You chuckled.

“Nothing in particular. But my last roommate listened to them on like full blast. Just got annoying at some point.” 

He nodded now, understanding. Yeah, he could see why that would be annoying at some point. Still, that wasn’t the real issue here. Or, well, was it really an issue? He cleared his throat. 

“I- I don’t take you as someone who would let her feelings get the best of her. And, to be honest, I’m not really the type of guy you should have a crush on, Y/N. But, uh, I’m still very flattered. And I don’t think this would stop me from moving in, as you said, we are both desperate.”

You were surprised and it showed. Seokmin chuckled.

“Or do you not want me here?”

“No! I do, I really need you to move in,” you said, tugging a loose strand of hair behind your ear. Seokmin nodded again. 

“Then it’s settled. I’ll get my stuff asap and then we’ll be roomies.”

“Can’t wait!”

*

Seungkwan thought you were insane. He hadn’t known it was Seokmin when Mingyu had approached him and now he regretted ever offering it. 

“What do you mean you told him?!” He was sitting at your small dinner table in the living room. You shrugged. 

“What was I supposed to do? Just let him move in and carry this huge ass secret with me all the time? I don’t think so.”

“You could have just told him no, Y/N.”

“Right, and then what? I see him in class every other day? How awkward would that be?”

“You mean as awkward as living with a guy who knows you have a crush on him?!” When you shrugged again, Seungkwan groaned, pulling his hands over his face.

“You’re seriously insane, I can’t believe you did this!”

And about a week after Seokmin had officially moved in, you couldn’t believe it either. 

Living with Seokmin proved to do the exact opposite of what you had mentioned in your chat with him. He wasn’t a slob. And he also didn’t listen to any podcast on full volume. He cleaned, cooked, gave you space. Every morning he got up earlier than you and prepared coffee, before going out for a jog - only to come back while you were having breakfast, looking all sweaty and sexy. The first time this had happened you had choked on your toast, drinking what felt like one whole liter of orange juice before finally being able to stop coughing. Seokmin had hit your back a few times, apologizing for startling you. And yet, he didn’t stop doing it, which made you used to it after a while (it didn’t).  

Instead of falling out of love with him, you found yourself drawn to him even more, craving his presence. When he was gone, you missed him, and when he was home you wanted to hear everything about his day, wanted to eat dinner with him, watch a new episode of that show you had started together. 

*

Seokmin was outside in the living room, his laptop placed on his lap, an essay he needed to proof read opened as he sipped on a can of beer. He was on his favorite spot on the floor, right in front of the couch, leaning his back against it. Actually, he had wanted to go to sleep an hour ago, but then he had talked with his sister on the phone and now he was back to this. It had been two months since he had moved in with you despite knowing you had feelings for him. Back when you had originally told him, he had felt like he should probably run because the last thing he needed right now was complicated. Things with Hyorin had been complicated enough. But, as he now knew, you weren’t complicated in the slightest. More so the opposite. It didn’t take long for Seokmin to begin to understand you and your patterns. It also didn’t take long for him to figure out how much you actually liked him. If he had been anyone else he might have taken advantage of that. Flirt with you, get you into his bed. But he was Seokmin, he wasn’t a guy who would do that. Not that he hadn’t… thought about it. Seeing the way you looked at him, especially after his morning runs or when he came back from the gym in the evening… it took everything in him not to imagine you looking at him that way when he was fucking you. 

Seokmin wasn’t a sex-hungry person, normally. Maybe because he had been in a long-term relationship for five years. But now, with his relationship being over for two months and the periods before that being dry in the sex department… he was starting to miss it. Dearly. 

So, when he sat there on the floor, his head focusing on the contents of this essay he wrote a day earlier in the library, he couldn’t really help getting distracted by the sounds coming from your room. His ears perked up and his head turned sideways, throat already drying up. Were you crying? Maybe you were-

“O-oh.”

His laptop slipped from his lap when he got up. His heart speed rose and sweat was starting to form on his hairline. That certainly wasn’t the type of crying he had meant. Slowly, he walked over to the door of your room that he only now realized wasn’t properly shut. He felt bad, guilty even, when he peeked through the small opening, seeing you apparently asleep. A dream? He licked his lips. Were you dreaming? 

“S-Seokmin.” 

Something inside him switched over. His whole body started to heat up, his cock desperately beginning to twitch in his briefs. Fuck, he hadn’t ever expected that hearing you moan his name would do so much. You were dreaming, yes, about him. And he heard you, heard you moaning, the whimpers. And god, did you sound perfect. He leaned against the wall next to your room, letting his dick get harder with every second, waiting for your noises like an addict. He couldn’t stop, couldn’t get himself to move away and mind his own business. He was intoxicated by you. He took everything he could, every breath, as small as they might be. The sighs following the moan of his name. 

For now, he only listened. He didn’t want to touch himself here, didn’t want to be that type of person. But then again, he had already parked himself right outside your room, listening to you having a wet dream, it wasn’t like beginning to jerk off would make much of a difference. So, he slowly moved his hand, palming himself over his sweats, feeling how hard he was because of you. He closed his eyes, ears concentrating only on you. He wondered what you were dreaming about. What was he doing to you right now? Was he holding you down as he fucked you? Was he going down on you, tasting you? God, he really wanted to taste you. 

For a second he contemplated going in and waking you up - making your dream reality. But he couldn’t. Not knowing what he did. 

Opening his eyes, he suddenly felt guilt rushing over him and he was quick to close your door, making his way over to where he had sat earlier and grabbing his laptop. 

Once he was in his own room, door locked and all, he tried to clear his head of the sounds you had made, of the way it was him you were dreaming about. But with his cock this hard and you so close… it was no use. He put his laptop on his desk and laid down on his bed after, taking a deep breath. He couldn’t hear you from his room and, god, was he relieved. Not hearing you did not equal not remembering you, though. And so, knowing he was going to lose to his conscience anyways, he opened the drawer in his bedside table and got out the package of lube, squeezing a bit on his right hand, while the left shoved down his sweats and briefs, letting his erection hit the cool air of his room. 

He sighed in relief when his right hand began squeezing him, head leaned back into the pillows, hand now moving up and down slowly. You were right there in front of his inner eye, the way you sounded, but also the image of how you would look underneath him. Moaning his name, begging him to go faster. Then, he imagined your cheek stuffed with his cock, imagined your teary eyes when he began fucking down your throat. 

“F-fuck,” he couldn’t help but go faster, his hips lifting up his bed as he fucked his fist, wishing it was your pussy or your mouth, any of your holes would do. How badly he wanted to hear you beg, wanted you to be on your knees, mouth open and tongue out, ready to take whatever he was willing to give. Pouty lips and round eyes, wishing for nothing more than Seokmin’s cock filling you up. 

“God, just like that, Y/N, f-fuck,” he couldn’t help but moan as he came, his load landing on his clothed chest. 

Coming down from his high, Seokmin opened his eyes, blinking a few times before he really understood what had happened. Groaning, he let his left hand rub over his face, before he shook his head and sat up. He got rid of his shirt and threw it in the laundry bin, walking to the door unlocking and opening it to go to the bathroom - only to run into you who just came out of the bathroom. Your eyes grew wide when you spotted Seokmin - shirtless and sweaty and with this certain look in his eyes that made your legs grow weaker. 

Not knowing what he was doing, Seokmin walked straight over to you, his hands finding the sides of your neck, his lips crashing into yours a second later. You didn’t know what was happening, didn’t know what to do - but you kissed him back, your hands on his broad back, as he pushed you against the wall, his meaty perfect thigh shoved between your legs now, pressing against your still sensitive core. You gasped into the kiss, his tongue now devouring yours, one of his hands moving down and underneath your shirt, grabbing your breast and squeezing it harshly. Your arms locked around his neck, moans getting caught by his skillful mouth. Were you still dreaming? 

“Seokmin,” you moaned when his hand squeezed your nipple and only then did he realize what was happening. Immediately, he parted from you, causing you to miss his kiss and touch the second he left. 

“What-,” you began, but before you could even finish the question, he had already turned around and walked back into his room, closing the door behind him. And locking it. 

*

He acted like nothing happened. You were anxiously waiting in the kitchen the next morning, but once he came back from his run he just showed you his normal goofy self, excusing himself to go take a  shower. The way you had stood there, fully ready (not really) to talk about the night before, still in your pjs, still dizzy from the dream you had had as well as the very real kiss afterward. Why had he done that? Had he suddenly turned into a sleepwalker? A sleepwalker that kissed his roommate as if he had been starving? 

You sure as hell weren’t going to bring it up first. So, you played along, pretending like it didn’t happen. 

“I am declaring you clinically insane, Y/N,” Seungkwan was munching away on his corndog, while you and his (not) boyfriend Hansol sat opposite him at one of the smaller booths of the diner.

“He started it,” you shrugged, grabbing your own corndog now to take a bite from it.

“Okay, and? You could have started the conversation. For example: “Hey roomie, so about that night where you came out of your room clearly just done with getting yourself off and then kissed me? Like really hard? Against a wall?” See, that would have been a great conversation starter.”

You deadpanned at him.

“You’re an idiot,” shaking your head, you leaned back in your seat, “what if he really like, I don’t know, was in a delirious state? Maybe he drank alone before bed and just had a black out?”

“Or maybe he is an asshole who can’t own up to his actions,” Seungkwan shrugged, “but sure, yours sounds way more likely.”

“Seungkwan is right, Y/N. You should just bring it up,” Hansol looked at you and you sighed, letting your head drop onto the table.

“I don’t think I can. I’m too mortified. What if he totally regrets kissing me and that’s why he is pretending like it didn’t happen?”

“That still doesn’t give him permission to act this way. I don’t care if he is deeply in love with you or hates you, I just want him to be humane enough to tell you.”

It stung, the way he was right. Whatever Seokmin was feeling, he had to share it with you. He couldn’t just- 

“Am I going crazy or is Seokmin standing outside?” You raised your head again, eyes wide when you realized you were, in fact, not going crazy. Seokmin was right there outside the diner, on the other side of the street, his phone in his hand, an anxious look on his face.

“Did you tell him you were coming here?” Hansol asked and you shook your head.

“No, we barely saw each other this morning.”

What was he doing here? And why did he look like he would rather be anywhere else? Your eyes scanned the surroundings, a sour feeling suddenly spreading in your guts. You were only a few streets down from your apartment, the street wasn’t exactly busy but had some really good places to eat. This was the perfect meeting spot for-

“Who’s that?” Seungkwan shifted closer to the window next to you, his eyes squeezed together as if he was trying harder to recognise whoever had just shown up next to Seokmin. You didn’t have to know her to… know her. Hyorin. His ex-girlfriend that had cheated on him. He had mentioned her to you only a few times, you being a little reluctant to ask considering he knew how you felt about him. But from what you had gathered he hated her, never wanted to see her again. So why was he here now? With her?

“Is that…?” Seungkwan looked over at you, worry displayed on his face and you pressed your lips together as you nodded. 

She was beautiful. Tall, long silky black hair. Her skin glowing even from here. She was the girl Seokmin should be kissing in his delirious state, in any state, really. You swallowed down the tears that threatened to spill out and averted your gaze. Your appetite had left you and you wanted nothing more than to flee the scene, go home and never think of this moment again.

“Should we leave?” Hansol asked, looking over at Seungkwan a little helplessly. Seungkwan nodded quickly and his (not) boyfriend grabbed your arm and helped you get out of the booth. As much as you felt like yelling at him that you didn’t need this help, as much did you appreciate the gesture. Seungkwan paid at the front desk and you left the diner, your heart in desperate need for some distraction. 

*

When Seokmin got home that evening, you weren’t there. A part of him was relieved while another one already missed your presence. Sighing, he kicked off his shoes and finally slipped down onto the couch, hands rubbing over his face. This whole thing was a mess. Today was a mess. Hyorin had called him and asked him to meet up and because he was who he was he had said yes. He should have known she would just try to apologize for the nth time, telling him it had only happened once and that he was the only one for her. Little did she know that he gave zero fucks at this point. He didn’t want her anymore, he didn’t love her anymore. She had broken his heart and stomped on it, had lied and cheated, had done all these horrible things to him. And yet, he was somewhat grateful because now he was right here. In your apartment. 

It was silly, really, because he had been dating Hyorin for two years already when he saw you the first time. You and your cute gray sweatshirt and the high ponytail. You, who had been the cutest person in every single one of your classes together. You, who he couldn’t develop feelings for because he had a girlfriend. Unlike Hyorin, he wasn’t a cheater. He had loved her, truly loved her. And he had been shattered when he found out about the other guy, feeling like he could never be fixed again. He had to get out of the shared apartment, had to leave it all behind as soon as he possibly could - and he had somehow ended up on your doorstep. It was crazy how the universe worked. 

And as if that hadn’t been enough, you suddenly confessed to him, turning all of his feelings upside down. Because what was he supposed to say? Supposed to do? God, he was heartbroken over Hyorin and yet there was this ray of light in the shape of a girl that loved to spend her evenings watching trashy teen drama and cry over a bucket of Ben & Jerry’s when a character you didn’t even particularly like died on screen. 

Seokmin didn’t want to allow him to like you. He was scared that maybe you liking him altered his brain chemistry, that perhaps he would want to be with you only as a rebound and you were too good, too perfect to be anything of that kind. And so, when that night had happened and he had lost his composure, he knew he messed up. He knew you had feelings for him, god, he probably would have figured it out even if you hadn’t told him. Not just because of the dream he had overheard but because of the way you looked at him. The way you smiled, the way you laughed. He didn’t want you to look at anyone else like that. 

The sound of a door unlocking filled the quiet room now and was soon joined by the giggles of a girl and the nervous laugh of a guy - and both of these voices were familiar to Seokmin. He immediately got up and walked over to the entry way - only to see Mingyu holding your waist as you, obviously drunk, tried to get out of your shoes.

“Mingyu?” Seokmin asked confusedly.

“Oh, hey Seok,” Mingyu said, holding you steady as you felt your knees giving in. 

“What- what is going on?” 

“We met at a bar, she was with Seungkwan and his boyfriend-,”

“He is not his boyfriend!” you interrupted him with a giggle.

“Uh, right, Seungkwan and his not-boyfriend were also super drunk and I called them a cab, but I really didn’t want to send Y/N home on her own so-,”

“Why didn’t you call me?” Seokmin now came closer, his eyes set on his best friend’s hand around your waist, his insides slowly but surely heating up with something he could only recognize as jealousy.

“Uh, I thought you were busy with… you know.”

Seokmin’s jaw tensed, his eyes fixed on Mingyu who had successfully held you down as you stepped out of your shoes.

“That has been resolved hours ago, Mingyu.”

“And how was he supposed to know that, hm?” The sudden sound of your voice made both men look over at you. Your hand was raised, finger pointed at Seokmin accusingly. 

“Y/N-“, Mingyu started, but you shook your head and finally freed yourself from Mingyu’s grasp.

“No! No, I’m tired of this! Was it nice? Seeing your perfect ex again? Do you want to go back to her now? Move out and act like I don’t exist? Like you didn’t kiss me?”

Mingyu held his breath. You had told him all this in the bar earlier, where he had met you and Seungkwan and Hansol and where he had realized that you were madly in love with his best friend. He felt bad about you having seen Seokmin with Hyorin, but even more did he feel bad because it was also so painfully obvious that Seokmin liked you, too. 

“I think you’re drunk,” Seokmin noted and you laughed, throwing your hands in the air. Mingyu stayed quiet.

“Do you, now? How observant of you, Seokmin.”

The two of you were staring at each other now, fury in both your eyes. Honestly, you didn’t know what he was angry about. After all you weren’t the one running back to her ex after kissing him the way he had you. 

“I, uh, I guess I should go now,” Mingyu pointed at the door with his thumb over his shoulder, “you seem to… well, have a lot to talk about.” 

The normally so cheerful and kind Seokmin didn’t wish his best friend a good night, nor did he even look at him when he left. Instead he kept looking at you, saw the way you waved at Mingyu and thanked him, your hand squeezing his arm. Lightning was shooting through him. Jealousy was about to eat him up, was about to make him grab you and yell that you shouldn’t touch Mingyu like that. It was dumb and he knew it. You made him crazy, you made him dumb. Like a teenager who was in love for the first time, unsure what to make of it. 

Once the door had fallen shut, you stormed past your roommate, ready to enter your room and not leave it until the next day. Just that you didn’t get far. Seokmin ended up grabbing your arm after all, his touch burning on your skin. 

“Mingyu is right, we do have a lot to talk about,” he said in a hushed voice, making you scoff. 

“Fine, then talk.” With whatever willpower you had left, you looked at him. Saw the way his eyes were full of an emotion you couldn’t pinpoint - the fury from before still slightly visible but not alone. Perhaps it was anger for you speaking to him the way you had. Or maybe he was just annoyed at you for being drunk and loud and stupid. 

“Look, Y/N. What happened between us was… it shouldn’t have happened, alright?”

“Why? Because you’re back together with your cheating ex?”

“No! God, no, I would never get back with Hyorin. And I can’t believe Mingyu told you about this and-,”

“He didn’t!” You freed yourself out of his grip, your eyes dangerously beginning to prickle, “I saw you. With her.” 

He inhaled audibly - he hadn’t expected this. You saw him? With Hyorin? No wonder you were this upset. He pulled his hand through his hair.

“She wanted to talk things out. And because I’m too nice of a person I told her yes. Y/N, I don’t want to be with her anymore. She broke my heart, she hasn’t been the girl I fell in love with for ages now.” 

“Why did you kiss me?” If you were honest, you didn’t really care about when Hyorin had stopped being the girl Seokmin loved. You were more interested in whether you were. 

“I shouldn’t have done that.” 

Pang. Your face flinched before your jaw tensed. 

“Right,” your voice was smaller than you had wanted it to be, and the tears were even closer to spilling now. Of course he regretted it. Regretted kissing you, regretted making you feel the way you had. Because why would it be any different? Perhaps you should have tried to hook up with Mingyu tonight just to feel something different than this ache inside of you. 

“I just- fuck, I just don’t want to take advantage of you. Of what you feel for me.”

Now, the tears of hurt were quickly changing to tears of anger. This man really had a talent in making you switch emotions in seconds. 

“Excuse me? You- what?” You laughed bitterly, shaking your head, “don’t do this. Don’t make yourself look like a hero because you stepped back from kissing me. You did that because you wanted to. I didn’t come onto you even once in all the time you’ve been living here. So don’t you dare pin this on me or my feelings.” You hated that you began to shake and that your voice was higher than anticipated. You hated that the way he looked at you made you feel small and idiotic, made you feel as if you were the dumbest person on this earth. Instead of waiting for his response, you turned around on your heel, walking into your room and slamming the door shut behind you.

*

No one wanted to be in Seokmin’s shoes right now. After your fight he had also retreated back to his room, not exactly sure how to ever face you again. A day later he was at lunch with Mingyu, Cheol and Joshua and they all looked at him like he had suddenly grown three heads. 

“I can’t believe you said that,” Joshua judged, shaking his head. Seokmin sighed, throwing his napkin on the table. 

“Come on, was it really that bad?”

“Yes,” all three of his friends said in union, all their eyes on him, no sign of humor. Seokmin swallowed. 

“I really thought I was doing the right thing,” he mumbled now, letting his head fall, eyes studying the pattern of the wooden table.

“By doing what? Pushing away a girl that’s absolutely crazy about you? That has been nothing but kind and wonderful towards you? That you very obviously have feelings for?” Mingyu snorted, crossing his arms, “no, that most certainly wasn’t the right thing to do, Seokmin.”

While Seokmin stayed silent, Seungcheol and Joshua nodded, telling Seokmin, once again, that he was an idiot. It was no use, though. He already knew he was! He knew he had messed up and even though a part of him still thought that, maybe, his intention had been noble, the part was slowly but surely getting kicked out. 

“And what do you expect me to do? I can’t just go up to her and tell her that I was wrong for saying that. She doesn’t even talk to me!”

“Can’t really blame her, can you?” Seungcheol took a sip from his iced tea.

“Look, it’s only been a day. Let her calm down, give her space. Give yourself some more time to come up with the right thing to say. I’m sure it will be fine, you and Y/N will be fine.”

And as much as Seokmin appreciated the tough love followed by Joshua’s words of affirmation, he wasn’t sure it was really helping him. In fact, he wasn’t sure what could help him considering you started ignoring him from then on, even avoiding your shared space to either stay at Seungkwan’s place or just come home once Seokmin was already in bed. Every class you had together, you would sit right by one of the doors, arriving at the latest and leaving as soon as possible. Whilst Seokmin was trying his hardest to come up with a way to apologize to you, to win you back, you were trying your best to forget about your feelings for him. And for the most part it was even successful - you being mad at him and feeling like an idiot whenever you thought about the kiss you two had shared. But then again, only for the most part. 

“You can’t just force yourself out of love with someone,” Seungkwan said on the nth night you’ve been sitting on his couch, a bucket of ice cream in your arms, the AC on the highest setting because, holy hell, was it hot outside. 

“I can try,” you shrugged, staring at the TV screen. Seungkwan sighed, letting his eyes wander over your frame. You didn’t look your best, the hurt definitely coming through with bags under your eyes, your hair looking frizzy, the shirt you were wearing a stain right in the middle and when he had asked you about it, you couldn’t even tell him where that had come from. 

So, when he got a call from Kim Mingyu two days later, he was eager as ever to meet up and hopefully get you off his couch. 

The setting was in a small coffee shop, Seokmin seated nervously next to Mingyu who had ordered an iced americano for each of them. Seungkwan looked from one handsome guy to the other, clearing his throat.

“So, I’m guessing this is about Y/N?” he raised a brow and Mingyu quickly nodded, while Seokmin shifted on his seat, hands clasped around his plastic cup. 

“Yup. Do you have any idea what Seok over here can do to, you know, get her to speak to him again?” Mingyu pointed at Seokmin with his thumb and Seungkwan chuckled as he watched Seokmin slap the thumb away, his cheeks a bright red.

“I’m sorry, I would’ve never come to you about this, but I’m desperate at this point. She is never home and when she is, she makes it her mission to not even acknowledge my existence.”

“Yeah, when she’s not home she is at my place. And let me tell you, it’s getting incredibly annoying, considering I have a “not-boyfriend” that I’d really like to invite over,” clicking his tongue, Seungkwan leaned back and grabbed his own beverage, taking a sip from the bright blue straw, “so, I am more than happy to help.”

For a few minutes they brainstormed, Mingyu suggesting that maybe Seokmin should just ambush her, maybe get a pair of handcuffs and- yeah, he was shut down by both Seokmin and Seungkwan rather quickly. Seokmin said that maybe he should just continue texting her and that perhaps she’d come around, but Seungkwan shook his head, telling him there was no use, he had never met anyone worse at texting and reading texts than his best friend. 

After a moment of silence in which they all seemed a bit defeated, Seungkwan watched Mingyu take out his phone and open a message he had received on instagram. The only blonde at the table had never been quicker to sit up and almost knock over his drink.

“I know what you have to do.” 

-

It had been two weeks since you had last talked to Seokmin and for once you were inside your apartment, knowing that he was at class while yours had been canceled. It was nice to be back home during day time for a change, your feet propped up on the small coffee table in front of the sofa. A book in your lap that you had discarded for a bit to check your phone, only to be hit in the face by a cruel, cruel reality. The book slipped off your lap as you withdrew your legs from the table and instead kneeled on the couch, both hands gripping your phone tightly. 

“He has got to be joking,” you mumbled, feeling dizzy as you stared at the mirror pic Seokmin had posted half an hour ago. He hadn’t posted in months. Basically since he and Hyerin had broken up. His insta was mainly blank except for a few pictures he had taken of pretty sceneries. Never had he ever posted gym selfies. No. That had been Mingyu, showing off Seokmin’s body in his pictures as well as his own. 

To be fair, there wasn’t much body to see on the selfie. It was him in the gym, his long sleeved shirt rolled up above his elbows, showing enough arm to make you head feel crazy. His left hand was holding his phone, his fingers spread over it and, fuck, his hand. His hair was just slightly messy, his jaw and neck on full display and you forgot how to breathe. Arousal pooled in between your legs now and you honestly couldn’t even understand why. Perhaps, you thought, because this was the first time you had seen his face in almost two weeks and this picture just fed into all of your small kinks about him. Swallowing hard, you licked your lips and continued to bury your teeth into the bottom one, your pussy already throbbing. How pathetic. Little did you know you were about to become even more pathetic. Only now did your eyes spot the small symbol on the right side of the post, signaling you that there wasn’t just one picture. With a throat as dry as the desert, you clicked back on the post, a shaking index finger swiping to the left, only to be met by what could only be described as worse. There you had the body you had so desperately wished for. Leaned back on what you assumed to be a bench press, his legs adjourned in baggy jeans you had seen him wear a handful of times. Back then you had been happy to not see them on him this much because for whatever reason he was even more sexy in them. They weren’t even tight (as baggy jeans already suggested), but they still seemed to fit him perfectly. And now, with him manspreading over a bench in the gym, the red-white shirt with a car race theme, sleeves still rolled up, one arm hanging over his right thigh, holding onto the black leather beneath him, showing off a pretty vein you could literally already feel underneath your tongue. He was crazy. Crazy and mean and horrible and you knew all of this on purpose. His fingers on display, his thighs looking so big in those god forsaken jeans. Hair messy, jawline looking so sharp you were sure it could cut glass.

And as if all of this wasn’t bad enough, you suddenly heard the door clicking open. Your head jerked up, your eyes wide and your cheeks flushed burgundy. When you saw Seokmin walk through the door and finally into the living room, you felt your phone slip from your hand and onto the couch. He was carrying a gym bag, his hair still slightly damp. His skin was glowing and his eyes were widened in surprise. He most definitely hadn’t expected to see you.

“I thought you had class?” He said, his gym bag dropping onto the floor next to him. You slowly got up from the couch.

“Got canceled. Yours?” 

“Same.”

Nodding, you came to a stop in front of him, his tall figure towering over you, your chest heaving, head clouded by the smell of his cologne, of the knowledge he had posted that picture most definitely to get to you. With a heartbeat the speed of light, you looked into his eyes.

“Did Seungkwan tell you to post those pictures?” you whispered. Seokmin hesitated. Then he nodded. 

“Did it work?” he asked, head slightly tilted to the side. 

Instead of answering, your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him down to crash your lips against his. Seokmin immediately reacted, hands on the small of your back, pushing you closer. This kiss was different from the first, not less exciting or dizzying, but you felt more in control, felt more like this was it, this was what you had craved for so long. 

Seokmin, meanwhile, was on cloud nine, your lips feeling so incredible on his. For him this was all he had wanted for the last weeks and while he had gotten that small taste back then, nothing could have prepared him for what he was feeling right now. All sense of self control left his body as he deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding over your bottom lip, asking to be let in. Once your tongues touched, there was no way in hell this was going to end. You moaned into his mouth, your nails digging into his skin while he moved his hands down, wrapping around your thighs to lift you up. Instinctively your legs swung around him, his hands leaving burns where he touched you. 

He moved over to the couch where you had sat before, sitting down with you now straddling him, both of your hands roaming around the other’s body. You let your fingers slide under his shirt and together you took it off, lips parting momentarily and letting you admire his toned chest, his abs and shoulders. You took your sweet time, fingers caressing his skin while your lips latched onto his neck, sucking harshly. Seokmin moaned, one hand on the back of your head, while the other laid on your thigh. 

With every passing second you felt yourself grow wetter, your hips beginning to grind down, both of your clothed crotches meeting, making both of you even more desperate. Seokmin grabbed your face, kissing you passionately once more, thumbs on either side of your cheeks. You whimpered when you felt him buck up, his erection already making your head spin. Never had you ever wanted anyone as bad. Finally, his hands moved to take off your shirt, leaving you in shorts and nothing else. A groan escaped him, hands all over your breasts, lips sucking your hard nipple inside his mouth, your head falling back, hands digging into his scalp. He was devouring your tits one at a time, hands squeezing them harshly as you couldn’t help but move your hips against him.

“S-Seokmin, please,” you whined, the arousal literally audible. Hearing you say his name like this… Seokmin parted from your chest and instead looked up at you. 

“Seungkwan told me something,” he whispered, one hand now moving down, while the other was back on your face, “he told me you take a… certain liking to my fingers.” The smirk on his face made you forget to kill Seungkwan later. You licked over your lips, biting down on it after, only to let out a small gasp when his right hand slipped into your shorts, pressing down on the wet spot between your legs. He sucked in a breath.

“Fuck, arren’t you wet for me, angel?” He whispered, while his other hand moved to your lips now, his eyebrows shooting up as he held eye contact. You knew what he wanted and you were more than eager to oblige. Parting your lips and stretching out your tongue, Seokmin felt himself twitch as he laid his index and middle finger on top of your tongue.

“Suck,” he then ordered you and without thinking twice, you did as asked. The fingers were long and thin and perfect and your eyes rolled back when you felt him press down on your tongue, his eyes becoming a little crazier with every passing second. 

“Both your holes stuffed with my fingers, what do you think?” his voice made goosebumps erupt all over your body, moaning around his digits while nodding wildly. Seokmin chuckled, not saying anything as he shoved your panties to the side, your hips almost automatically lifting so he could coat himself in your juice, his cock growing harder with every inch of him that got blessed with your arousal. 

“Think you can take two already?” when you nodded again, he immediately let his pretty fingers sink into you, both of you moaning at the contact. He sank in as deep as he could, until every bit was inside of you, knuckles deep, making him feel like he was either going to cum in his pants or simply explode. 

“God, you feel so fucking good, angel. Common, fuck yourself on my fingers and don’t forget to suck.” 

Your body began moving right away. Your mouth was sucking his fingers as if they were his cock, tongue pressing, tongue flicking against them. Head bobbing back and forth as your hips moved up and down on his other hand, his fingers feeling heavenly inside your walls. And when he put his thumb on your clit, you were sure the heavenly feeling would soon get you to cum all over him. 

“Good girl, doing so well for me, fuck,” Seokmin felt his throat dry up, sweat forming on the top of his head. How badly he wanted to fuck you right now, just get his fingers out and replace them with his throbbing cock - but he wanted to take his time with you. He wanted to see you live out your dream with his fingers buried inside of you, with your saliva coating his one hand and your perfect, sweet arousal the other. He wanted to see you come undone like this, fucking yourself on his fingers, before he took you the way he wanted, making you scream his name and beg him to make you cum with his cock. 

You felt your orgasm closing in on you, your movements becoming sloppier, eyes rolled back and the fingers in your mouth almost forgotten. Once Seokmin noticed, he grinned, beginning to fuck them inside your mouth himself, a high pitched moan escaping you and making another bit of precum shoot out of Seokmin’s cock. 

“Yeah, are you close, baby? Come on, I know you want to cum for me.” He leaned forward, the angle of his fingers changing slightly, hitting you right where you needed him and when his lips began kissing and licking at your neck, you couldn’t help but cum hard, your pussy clenching around his fingers over and over again, milking yourself for all you had. 

“Fuck,” he was in a daze, pulling both sets of fingers outside your holes, eyes searching for yours, before closing his lips around the fingers that had just made you cum so beautifully. You whimpered, pussy throbbing at the sight of him licking your arousal from his own digits. 

“Seokmin…,” you cried out and he pulled his fingers back, instead shooting forward now to kiss you again. You could taste yourself on his lips, hands now back around his neck, eyes closed shut as he kissed you with delicious desperation. 

“Fuck me on the windowsill, Seok, please.” 

He parted from you only for a second, before nodding and kissing you again, getting up with your legs wrapped around him, finally placing you on the narrow sill, hands gripping your shorts and panties and pulling them off your legs. You watched as he opened his own jeans next, letting them fall to the floor before finally revealing what you had only imagined so far. You couldn’t help but stare, your mouth watering at the sight of his big cock, all red at the tip and veiny, thick and a little bent to the left. Oh, how much you wanted him to ruin you. 

“I can’t wait to fuck you, baby,” he purred now, arms back around your body, lips closing around yours again. Every inch of you was on fire, your hands immediately finding his cock, one grabbing his balls, while the other was around his girth, moving up to let your thumb slide over his slit. He twitched in your hand, a beautiful moan coming out his mouth that had you shivering. Spreading your legs further, you brought his leaking cock to your lips, letting the tip circle your clit for a bit, both of you moaning into the other's mouth, before finally lining him up with your sopping core.

“Please, fuck me, I need you so bad,” your voice was muffled against his lips and he nodded, replacing your hand with his to push inside you, the stretch having your nails dig into his shoulders, whimpers escaping your pink lips as he lowered himself into you until he bottomed out, his forehead now pressing against yours.

“You feel so good, so perfect around me, baby,” he kissed you softly, hands sliding over your sides up to your tits, and once he began squeezing them again, his lips finding yours, he began thrusting, first deep and hard, before he quickened, your legs pulling him even closer. He was perfect. The way he held you, the way his thumb was on your nipple, lips now sucking on the sensitive skin on your neck, cock fucking you deep and hard and quick, leaving no room for complaints. You didn’t know how to ever stop moaning his name, how to be quiet, how to not have your body already signal another climax. 

“A-am close,” you whined and Seokmin nodded, head now in between your neck and shoulder, kissing every inch of your skin. Nothing had ever felt this good, no sex with anyone had ever made him feel as if  he was going to cum within seconds, while also wanting it to never end. He sped up once more, hands back on your face as he wanted to cum with your tongue inside his mouth, with your lips claimed as his. You tried to match his pace, desperate and breathy moans filling the air that already smelled like nothing but sex. There was nothing you could do to prevent the orgasm rushing over you, your walls clenching around his cock over and over again, his movements getting sloppier with every second, your and his salivas mixing, running over both your chins when he finally sucked your tongue into his mouth as he came, hot white cum spreading in your pussy that now milked him for all he had, every little drop as precious as the other. 

“Fuck, oh my god,” Seokmin breathed into your mouth, his hands caressing your hair as he kissed your neck, both of you slowly getting down from your highs. You two stayed like this for a while. Him, kissing your neck, your shoulders, your chin and finally your lips. It suddenly feels like everything has fallen into place perfectly, like this is what should have happened the first time he ever stepped into place, maybe even when you first laid eyes on him three years ago. He stays inside you, your combined releases only slowly dripping out of you. How could he make you feel this precious? This fragile in the best way?

“Y/N…”, he then whispers after a while, his hands next to you on the sill, his eyes so soft and yet full of guilt. For a second you think he regrets having done this but then you hear his next words.

“I’m so sorry I pushed you away. I never should have done that. I was scared of my own feelings and of taking advantage of you, and I get now that I should have just talked to you about this instead of acting like I was protecting you when in reality I was just protecting myself,” he caressed your face, a stray lock of hair finds it’s way behind your ear by his finger.

“I get it. And I’m sorry too, for, you know, completely shutting you out.” You smile weakly and Seokmin chuckles, kissing your cheek again.

“I would have done the same. So, you forgive me?”

“Isn’t you coming inside me enough reason to believe I have?” You tease him with a slight grin and he turns red, looking down at him still buried inside your warmth. 

“Thank you. For forgiving me,” he looks up at you, a mischievous glint in his eyes, “and also for letting me cum inside you.” 

You start laughing, pushing him away slightly by the shoulder and your heart seems to jump out of your chest when he kisses you again. You were sure  that you’ll never get tired of doing this. 

-

“So, if i want you to get turned on I’ll just need to post more gym pics?” Seokmin’s arm was around you, both of you freshly out of the shower seated on the couch. You scoffed, but felt your cheeks heat up.

“Shut up,” you couldn’t help but smile though, the fact he was so close to you, holding you. It was all too much but in the best way possible. You never wanted to let this man go again. 

“You’re so cute when you’re flustered”, he giggled now, and god, had you ever heard a more adorable sound? You doubted it. Just when you were about to respond (mainly to tell him to shut up again), you heard your phone ring. Looking over Seokmin’s lap, you saw your phone where you’d left it. He followed your gaze and grabbed your phone for you, a knowing smile on his lips.

“If we were to unlock this now, what would we find, hm?”

Ignoring him, you finally picked up. It was Seungkwan.

“Hi traitor,” you said, eyebrows raised. Seungkwan scoffed on the other side.

“Oh please, you can’t tell me y’all didn’t fuck.”

Seokmin, who was very obnoxiously leaning in closer to hear the conversation, giggled again, his cheeks turning rosy. You rolled your eyes.

“Doesn’t mean I appreciate you spilling my kinks to people you barely know.”

“You know you do kind of love me for it though. So, you two together now?” You froze in place, while your eyes moved very slowly to look at Seokmin. What you saw made your stomach turn and twist and tumble and millions of butterflies suddenly started dancing Gangnam Style. His eyes were so fond, his features soft, the rose on his cheeks now accented by his bright perfect smile. When he nodded, his hand coming to caress your head, you couldn’t help but smile the brightest you ever had.

“As a matter of fact, yes. Yes, we are.”

Slay you deserve a million followers for teach me series. Can I request DK or MG kabedon? 🥹 humor or serious or against all odds angst would make my dreams come true you’re amazing

NGL I had to look up what that was and I can only imagine humor but this ended up super fluffy too im sorry for no angst anon 😔

Please accept this as my apology!!!

Pairing: Lee Dokyeom x fem!reader

Genre: humor, suggestive, fluff

Warnings: reader loves a boozy brunch, and they have a dachshund named Mango,

Note: Mayhaps be read as a long long long away epilogue of Teach Me couple

“Damn, you shit with that ass?” You drunkly smile at your boyfriend attempting to shuffle you inside your shared apartment.

When you swat at the curve of plump flesh, Dokyeom rolls his eyes with a groan. He can’t help but smile despite his exasperation with your antics. Bold comments from you has a special way of turning him into a blushing stuttering mess despite years of dating. Something about the brazen way you declare your interest after so much time together sends his heart into orbit, millions of butterflies filling his chest until he is convinced it’ll explode.

But the hallway of your apartment complex at two in the afternoon on a Sunday is not high on Dokyeom’s list of places to be felt up by his girlfriend. Coupled with the knowledge he only has so much time to get you horizontal before you refuse to move yourself, Dokyeom is too stressed to enjoy the usual banter you supply after too many mimosas at brunch with your friends.

The chilled metal door gives way under your combined weight, throwing Dokyeom forward as his feet fail to find their grounding — a firm thud ricocheting through the space under the bounce of his shoulders against the plaster wall.

A smack! echoes in response under your hand landing above his shoulder, pinning a wide eyed Dokyeom underneath your hips as you’re dragged forward by momentum.

“So…do you come here often?”

“To our house?” Dokyeom responds, eyebrows furrowing in amusement.

Crowding into the limit spacefurther, you watch him through your lashes— failing to realize your attempt at coyish allure leaves you resembling a round eyed calf.

Your slow blinks force a guffaw from his lips, shaking your stomach where it touches his own as the crown of Dokyeom’s skull meets the wall behind him.

Pouting as he works through the last of his giggles, you twirl with a huff; nose in the air as you trudge towards the living room.

Mango doesn’t rise from her sprawl across the couch, belly up as she basks in the sun flooding from the glass doors leading to the balcony. Her long golden hair spills onto the couch beneath her oblong body as she watches her parents with little interest.

Tangling your arms around her, you hold her tightly to your chest. “My baby!”

A sharp bark of displeasure answers, followed by your boyfriend gently setting her back on the couch as you sigh forlornly.

“No one in this house loves me.” You wail, stomping your foot while the familiar heat of Dokyeom’s arms curl around your waist once more.

“C’mon babe, let’s go lay down.”

Digging your heels into the ground, you turn to face him. “You love me, right?”

“Always.” Dokyeom smiles, a sweet kiss between your wrinkled brows signing his confession.

“Ew, I have a boyfriend!” You gasp, failing to wiggle out of his grip.

Distracting you in an effort to coral you into the bedroom, Dokyeom plays along. “Oh?”

“Yeah, and he’ll kick your butt!”

“Will he now?” Dokyeom nods, managing to work you out of the living room and down the hall.

“Yeah! And he’s all big and buff.”

“Oh, really? And he’ll fight me for you?”

You sigh once more, “No, he’s too nice.”

“Too bad.”

“I know, he’s really hot when he’s angry.”

Dokyeom fills that tidbit of information away for later, focusing on slipping the tight denim stretched across your hips down so you can sleep comfortably.

“What else do you like about your boyfriend?” He prompts, lifting each leg to free you from the offending garment before gently pushing you to sit on the bed while he works off your shirt.

Arms raised over your head, you eagerly list of the things you love about your boyfriend; a goofy faraway grin brightening your face.

“He’s the best! He’s funny and he’s really sweet and,”

Continuing to prattle on, you don’t notice the way your boyfriend falters under the praise you so eagerly throw his way.

“And Dokyeom is like perfect with kids especially my nieces! I can’t wait until we have kids.”

Kids.

You want kids. With him.

It wasn’t as if it had never been a topic of discussion. You both had been clear from the start that it was a something you’d wanted. But kids and marriage were always a distant goal for you two, nothing to consider for a least a few more years.

But you think about having kids with him. And suddenly he wonders what it’d be like.

Images of babies fill his head; ones with your eyes and his nose, smart like their mom but with their dad’s sense of humor. Bald and perfectly chubby in that cute way only babies are. Then it’s two little girls filling his ears with shrill giggles as he chases them around the living room with your own laughter chiming in from the couch.

Oh boy.

“But we have to get married first. And you can’t tell him I told you but," Comically looking left and right, eyes impossibly round, you drop into a whisper. "I found a ring in the dresser so I think he’ll ask me soon.”

You rock back and forth, feet kicking just above the shag rug as Dokyeom digs up an old shirt from the very dresser he’s had a certain ring hidden in for the past few months.

Finding his voice, albeit shakily, Dokyeom pries for more information.

“If he asks, what would you say?”

A brilliant smile lights your face — blinding in joy, putting all the wonders of the world to shame. You practically glow as you look up at him with so much emotion Dokyeom thinks he might pass out.

“That I’d love to marry you.”

a night in berlin—-l.sm

♡ pairing: lee seokmin x fem!reader ♡genre: established relationship with idol!seokmin ♡wc: 1.2k ♡warnings: 18+ MDNI, oral [m. receiving], cum eating, fingering, switch!seokmin, switch!reader, praise kink , pet names, teasing ♡a/n: this can be read as a part 2 of distance makes the heart grow fonder or a stand alone but i did have that couple in mind when i was writing this!! inspired by the absolute snack lee seokmin was today at lolla berlin ♡tags: @seungkw1 @myhimbomingi

He glows on stage, he always does, today is no different. The air on the festival grounds is humid, his sweat glistening on his forehead and dampening his hair. His energy was electric and you couldn’t wait to get your hands on him. 

By the time Aju Nice started up for the third time, you firmly believed the song was a punishment from God himself. Just your luck, they decided to punish you so many times you lose count. However, lucky for you, they do have to leave the stage at some point, and the minute you see your boyfriend disappear backstage you’re slipping through the crowd. 

The door to the hotel suite unlocks and opens quickly after you got there. The shining smile of your boyfriend, Lee Seokmin, was the first you see when he comes through the door. 

“Darling!” he pulls you into a tight hug, kissing the top of your head, “did you enjoy the set?” 

“Mhmm…” you mumble into his chest, not particularly caring about his sweat soaking his shirt, “You looked so good, Minnie” you felt him smile against your hair at your comment. 

Snaking your hands up around his neck you pull him into a heated kiss. Momentarily surprised, Seokmin took a moment to return your enthusiasm. You swipe your tongue along his bottom lip, greedily requesting access. Whining slightly Seokmin breaks the kiss, 

“Baby…” he sighs, “I need to take a shower” 

“Don’t let me stop you” you huff, untangling yourself from him.  You cross your arms and plop down on the bed, not looking at him.  

“I…” he panicked, “I’ll be so fast, then…then you can have your way with me” he promised. You didn’t respond, better to let him squirm a little.  Realizing he wouldn’t get a reaction out of you that easily he all but ran to the bathroom.  The water turns on quickly afterward and you hear Seokmin shuffling out of his sweaty clothes.  

After a few minutes you figure he is in the large shower by now, letting the warm water run off his tanned skin, loosening his muscles that were well used on stage today. The visual caused you to unconsciously squeeze your thighs together.  Sighing, you decided that was enough waiting for the both of you.  Your shirt was over your head and discarded on the floor before you reached the bathroom door.  

Pulling back the curtain you see Seokmin, eyes closed, under the water, his beautiful cock on full display, buried in his fist.  

“If you needed help you could have just asked,” you remarked, startling Seokmin.  

“Baby…” his eyes snapped open, quickly taking in the fact that you are, in fact, naked, “I tried to wait but…I’m sorry” he whined.  

“It’s okay Minnie,” you climbed into the shower in front of him, “you’ve had a long day,” you positioned yourself with your back to the water and turned Seokmin to face you, “let me help you,” you pouted at him.  You take his trim waist in your hands, “You’ll let me help you won’t you?” you looked up at him, already sinking to your knees, to which Seokmin could only nod, following your sinking form with his eyes.  

Once you were comfortably on your knees on the floor of the large shower stall you replaced his hand with your own.  You gave him a few cursory pumps and ran your tongue against the prominent vein that runs along the underside of the shaft.  These actions earned you more whines from the man above you, “You have such a beautiful cock, Minnie” he had no time to respond to your compliment before you were taking him into your mouth.  

“Oh-” Seokmin breathed, eyes closing immediately and his hand finding the top of your wet head.  You hollowed out your cheeks and took him deeper.  Seokmin gave you time to adjust, as always.  Soon though he was thrusting down your throat, you bobbed your head in order to keep pace with him.  “I do-don’t think I’ll last too long” he informed you, which of course, you took as a challenge and let him shove his cock down your throat until your nose was touching his skin.  “Oh my God” he let out breathy moans and whines.  You thanked the heavens that this was happening in the shower so he couldn’t see that his cock brought you to tears.  

His hips began to sputter and you could tell he was so close to his release.  Having his reactions memorized shouldn’t surprise you anymore but you still aren’t humble when hot strings of cum begin to hit the back of your throat.  You swallow all he gives you and softly suck as you pull back from him, making sure not to waste a single drop.  

He pulls you up, switching your positioning as he does, his back now to the water and your back against his chest.  His lips are on your neck before you have the time to process the movement.   

“You did so well,” he mumbled against your neck, “you always do so well” he praises.  His large hands start to roam your body, one of them stopping on your breast.  He squeezes it in his hand and then moves to pinch your nipple.  A nice purple bruise is forming under his lips at your neck.  His other hand moves ever lower until the pads of his fingers brush your sensitive clit.  You suck in a breath at the contact, “Sensitive already?” he mumbles.  

His fingers circle your clit with slightly more pressure as his other hand continues to tweak your nipple, earning him breathy whines and moans from your mouth.  The hand on your breast moves down your body, squeezing your hip on the way.  He continues his ruminations on your clit and lines up his fingers of the other hand at your entrance.  

“Please” you whine.  

“Please what?” you can hear the smirk in his voice.  

“I need you inside of me, please” with that Seokmin pushes two fingers inside.  Just as you have Seokmin memorized, he has your body mapped out.  He curls his fingers skillfully to reach the spongy spot inside you.  He pumps his fingers in and out, and it isn’t long before you feel the coil in your stomach tighten.  

Seokmin continues to pump his fingers and toy with your clit, it is almost too much.  “Let go, darling,” he whispers breathlessly into your ear.  The coil snaps, your vision is blurred with water and pleasure coursing through you.  Seokmin continues to pump his fingers in and out throughout your climax.  Slowly, he pulls his fingers out and turns you around and presses a sloppy kiss to your lips, he can taste himself in your mouth still but he doesn’t care.  

After a moment of you both coming down from your highs he reaches for your shampoo.  He squeezes some out into his hand and turns you around again.  “Let’s get out of here so we can go to bed,” all you can do is nod while he lathers the shampoo into your hair. 

Here Are The Keys - Lee Seokmin

Synopsis: Your boyfriend, Seokmin, was known to be the perfect gentleman. He took extra care of you as if you were the most fragile thing in existence. And in the bedroom? He was always prepared to have you see the stars.

Pairing: Lee Seokmin x fem reader

Genre: Smutttttt baby - MINORS DNI, established relationship,

Contains: fingering (f. receiving), somewhat public play, dirty talk, slight degradation (name calling), nudity, oral (f. receiving), unprotected intercourse, female orgasm (squirting), male orgasm (does not pull out)

Word Count: 3.8k

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You held onto Seokmin's arms as you walked through the front door of the apartment building you two lived in. You two recently took the leap in getting an apartment together. All the boxes have been unpacked and all the extra furniture you had to order was put together, thanks to the other guys coming in to chip in. They were almost as excited for the two of you and this new chapter, so they were more than willing to lend a helping hand.

The place finally felt like it was yours. No longer were you trying to sort things and living out of boxes as you adjusted to the new chapter of your lives. Seokmin decided the occasion required a proper celebration. You two went out to eat at a restaurant in your new neighborhood before settling into your new home.

Your heels clicked against the floor of the apartment building's lobby. The sound of you made Seokmin's ego rise. You were his. He just wanted to show you off to everyone.

He led you two over to the elevator, so you could go up to your apartment. He pressed the 'up' button before resting his hand on top of yours which rested on his bicep. You peered up at him, a smile on your lips which made Seokmin smile even brighter. "How did I get so lucky?" He questioned softly. You shrugged which caused him to laugh, placing a gentle kiss at the top of your head.

A ding soon let out, indicating the elevator had arrived. Seokmin stepped back, allowing you in first. You were about to make room for anyone else who might be joining the two of you.

Before anyone could slip in, Seokmin jumped in and clicked the 'close door' button. To his satisfaction, the doors closed behind. He smirked seeing your shocked expression. "Looks like it is just the two of us."

You couldn't help but giggle as you felt a rush of adrenaline take over your body. He walked up to you as the elevator began to travel up. Your back was pressed against the wall of the elevator. Seokmin was standing right in front of you. One of his hand moved to rest right by your head, the other moving to hold your hip. He pressed his forehead against yours as he gazed into your eyes. You could practically melt underneath his gaze. And he loved having that effect on you.

"I've been waiting to get you alone since the moment you walked out in that little black dress." "Then what are you waiting for?"

He quirked an eyebrow, looking down at you. Seokmin never took you to be the type of woman into public play. You just composed yourself with such grace. He loved discovering new sides of you.

Keeping his posture, so he hovered over you, he removed the hand resting against the wall of the elevator. He moved it in between your bodies, gently running his fingertips across your exposed thighs. Naturally, you parted your legs for him, inviting him to do as he pleased. Seokmin groaned at the sight.

With the green light you gave him, his fingers slid underneath your dress. His fingers were expecting to brush against the material of your panties, but he was instantly in contact with your warm, wet pussy. He groaned louder this time, pressing his lips into the side of your face in appreciation. "You really know the way into my heart, sweet girl. Risky to go without panties tonight, especially out to that fancy restaurant, but god. I can't be mad at you."

Your arms wrapped around his neck, holding yourself close to him. You giggled as you buried yourself into his neck. Seokmin didn't waste anytime. His fingers slid into your pussy where he began scissoring your pussy, stretching you out for preparation once he truly gets you alone. The adrenaline of potentially getting caught fueled the both of you. You let out soft whimpers and moans. He pumped his fingers quickly, the sound of skin hitting skin and your wet pussy filling the small interior. It made your cheeks turn bright red as his ego soared.

You heard a small ding in the midst of Seokmin worshipping your pussy. Seokmin gently removed his fingers from your pussy despite your disapproval. Yet, you ended up being grateful when you saw the elevator doors open to reveal someone stepping in.

Seeing that you were on your floor, Seokmin grabbed your hand with his free one. He nodded politely at the gentleman who was seeking to head down to the lobby while you two slipped out. You could have sworn the guy could smell your wet pussy from the way his nose scrunched up. Your cheeks turned bright red.

However, they felt hotter when you looked in front of you to see Seokmin stuck his hand, the one coated in your pussy juices, in his mouth. If he had things his way, he would show off his hand to the world of how quickly he can make you crumble. But you were his, only for his eyes.

For now, he would just savor the taste of your sweet pussy.

You squeezed his hand affectionately, letting your free hand rest on his bicep. There was nothing you took more pride in than being Lee Seokmin's girl. And he was just as prideful to be yours. "Okay, angel, I think it's time to really make this place ours. What do you say?" The tone of his voice sent shivers down your spine. He spoke so gently yet with so much passion behind his words. He knew all the right ways to make you feel weak in the best way.

All you could do was nod your head, pressing a lingering kiss to his sharp jawline. Seokmin smirked as he used his hand not holding yours to pull out his keys.

Once the door was pushed open, you felt Seokmin scooped you up in your arms. You let out a squeal as your own are wrapped around Seokmin's neck. He chuckled at your reaction before walking in, his eyes never leaving yours and kicking the door closed with his foot.

"Sweetheart," he called out. His voice made your stomach feel all warm and tingly. "Can you reach and lock the door for me? Kind of got my hands full."

You couldn't help but giggle but nodded your head. One of your arms stayed around his neck, playing with the hairs at the back of his head. Your free arm moved down to lock the bottom and top lock of your unit door.

Living with Seokmin has always been something you dreamed of. While, of course, you love spending time at the dorms and you were sure that you wouldn't stop going over, you really were excited for this new chapter. You adored all of the members, but it was nice that you could now be intimate with your boyfriend without worry of being interrupted.

"Where should I start with you? Hmm? Should I get a taste of your pussy? We did skip out on dessert," Seokmin began. "Or do you want my cock to pound into you until you see the stars?"

You looked up at Seokmin as if he were made out of stars himself. Seokmin was carrying you into your new bedroom. You at first were eager to cuddle up next to him, to be wrapped up in his arms and be able to enjoy some peace and quiet.

Now, there was nothing more you wanted than to have the two of you moaning. What a great way to introduce yourself to your new neighbors.

"I think what I really want is to feel so close to you, to feel your cock stretching me out and screaming your name." "Damn right. You're going to scream my name so loud everyone in this building knows you're my girl, my pretty little slut. That's what you want, right?"

You shivered at the thought before nodding in response. You felt so small, so submissive even just underneath his gaze. And you wouldn't want it any other way.

Seokmin dropped you onto the bed, but made sure you landed safely. The dress you were wearing moved up towards your upper thigh, almost exposing all of you to him. As much as he wanted you right then and there, he also wanted to take your time with you.

"Get comfortable, darlin'. You've got a long night ahead of you."

Quickly, you leaned up slightly to slip the dress off of body. You were grateful that it was a rather easy dress to take on and off. Feeling the cool air of the room, your nipples easily hardened. There was no way you and Seokmin were in the mood to wait any longer. You squeezed your legs together in anticipation.

Seokmin also got busy unbuttoning the tops of his shirt. You were nearly drooling at the sight of his own bare chest becoming more exposed to you. It was as if he was crafted by the gods, and somehow, he was all yours.

"As much as I loved feeling your pussy earlier, I want a real taste. Is that okay with you, angel? Do you want my tongue to run up and down your pussy until you're squirming?" "Please, baby. Just do something to me," you whined out.

He cooed slightly at the desperate tone in your voice. He leaned forward to kiss a line of kisses starting from the valley of your breasts. In response, your fingers ran through his hair and gripped it gently. He hummed in satisfaction as his lips moved down your torso towards your pelvic bone.

Slowly, Seokmin sunk onto his knees in front of you. You propped yourself on your elbows as he increasingly became out of reach, not wanting to lose sight of him. His hands rested on your thighs. He looked up at you, winking.

Without having to be asked, you spread your legs for you. Seokmin let out a throaty groan, appreciating how your body reacted to him. He felt his cock twitch in his pants at the sight of how wet you were. You were literally glistening.

"So beautiful," he whispered. His lips this time leaned forward to press along your right inner thigh and trailed towards where you craved him most. You could feel his breath against your skin, inching towards your pussy, which made you shiver with excitement.

"Be patient, darlin. I'm not going anywhere." "I just can't help it, baby. I love how good you make me feel," you whimpered.

Seokmin's ego grew from your statement. To show his appreciation, he let his tongue flatten immediately against your pussy. No more teasing. Not when you were being such a good girl for him already.

You gasped at the feeling, moving to allow your legs to rest on his shoulders from his crotched position. Seokmin smirked against you, allowing his tongue to trail from the bottom of your pussy all the way to your clit. Sensing the way your breathing hitched and back arched, he knew your clit was your weakest spot.

He adored the way your back arched with ease, how your head rolled back against the pillows at the head out the bed. He could feel your leg muscles flexing slightly as the pleasure was running through your body. Seokmin wanted to be the only one who made you feel this way.

You've always been the one to look after Seokmin before yourself. Whether it was to cook him a warm dinner or greet him with kisses, you always made sure he was taken care of in some regard. It was why you typically offered to give him oral before he could offer.

Not tonight. Tonight was going to be all about you and this new chapter you. There was never going to be a day where you felt like this relationship was one-sided, not when you two were living under the same roof now. His love for you would always be evident, whether it be through little things he does for you or to you.

His tongue circled your clit, pushing the bundle of nerves around in his mouth. He let out a groan which sent vibrations throughout your entire body, causing you to whimper loudly. Music to his ears. One of his hands resting on your thigh, squeezing the plush skin affectionately. His other hand moved to hold your hips down, keeping you in place.

His tongue then began to move down to slip into your pussy. It only made him groan more. He was able to get a sweeter taste of you, to feel how warm you were against his tongue. He was addicted to the feeling, truthfully. And if this was how he perishes, he would die a happy man for sure.

"S-Seokmin," you called out to him.

The sight of him nearly made you orgasm right then and there. He peered up at you with those piercing brown eyes. His eyes were blown out with lust. His lips and chin were covered in your juices.

"Yes, my love?" "Can you please make love to me?"

He didn't need to be told twice. He leaned down, however, to place one last kiss on your clit. It caused you to shiver yet he couldn't help but chuckle at your reaction. You were just too damn adorable. Seokmin wasn't sure how someone could be so seductive yet so adorable at the same time.

Before he moved up, he helped ease your legs off his shoulders. Each leg received kisses around your knee and then trailing up to your thigh as he laid them to rest on the comforter. He continued to kiss up your body - around your hips, your stomach, your chest. Seokmin made sure to pay extra attention to your breasts where he kissed, sucked, and bit down where he could. Anywhere to leave marks of his undying love for you.

At the same time, his hands got to work at disregarding the belt around his pants, the buttons of said pants, and his boxers. All had joined your dress on the floor.

Soon, he had crawled his way up so he was hovering over you. You were able to *finally* wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him down to you. His eyes widened in surprise at the sudden movement, but couldn't help but smirk also. Whenever the two of you got intimate, you always just craved physical touch.

Your fingers were getting tangled in his hair, twirling the locks gently. You also couldn't miss the opportunity to plant kisses along the side of his face, which left him feeling a bit flustered. The feeling of your bare chest against his didn't help either as it sent his mind into a whirlwind.

"How did I get so lucky?" He asked softly.

Before you could come up with a witty response, you gasped softly at the feeling of Seokmin's tip against your pussy. Knowing your request, he didn't want to waste any more time. Yet, he also was ready to go at whatever pace was suitable for you.

"I ask myself the same thing every day," you confessed in a hushed tone.

No further words needed to be exchanged. The way you were looking up at him solidified that you felt the same way as he did. You two were made out of the same material, the same soul. You were destined to be with each other.

One of his hands moved down to grasp his cock, ensuring that he was positioning at the right angle so he could slide it with ease. He never wanted to cause you any sort of discomfort. Once satisfied, his hands moved so one propped himself up, the other holing your hand. The gesture was enough to make your heart race yet body melt into the sheets beneath you with ease.

"Ready, angel?" "Please, baby boy."

With the one thrust, the two of you were sent into a chorus of moans. Your hearts were racing with the love, the passion you two had for one another.

He squeezed your hand every now and then, just to remind you that he adored you. To him, sex was just one of the ways he can show his love for you. But at the moment, he also was too consumed by the feeling of your warm pussy hugging his cock.

Seokmin wanted to shower you with praises and remind you of how gorgeous you were in every sense. Instead, groans and moans were leaving his lips without resistance. His hips were maintaining momentum even if his brain was short-circuiting.

He thrusted deep into you, wanting you to feel every vein and the curve of his cock pressing against your walls. You felt so full - both from his love and the feeling of his cock stretching you out. Your head was rolling back against the pillows, whimpering out nonsense as you were overwhelmed by the feeling.

"Yeah? This feel good, angel? Come on, talk to me."

You let out a shaky breath as you were trying to find the right words to say. Words were floating around your mind - amazing, speechless, heavenly. Yet, you couldn't pin them down as the wet sounds of your pussy and skin smacking against skin pounced the walls.

Seokmin chuckled endearingly before he leaned down, pressing kisses along the side of your face. Your eyes fluttered shut as you just let the sensations take over your body.

"You look so pretty like this, y/n, baby," he breathed out. The puff of air and his lips grazing against your skin caused goosebumps to rise on your skin. "With your eyes shut, your chest rising and falling. All because of me. Will always be because of me," he vowed.

Slowly, you fluttered your eyes open to look up at the love of your life. Soft moans were leaving your lips as his cock went deeper, went harder into you. You've never had such a deep connection with someone before.

Your one hand moved to rest on his arm, gripping his bicep. The other hand moved up to tuck the strands of hair that were beginning to lay flat against his forehead due to the sweat. Your fingers gently pushed the straps back, moving through his soft hair until your hand rested on the back of his head. "I'm so in love with you," you breathed out.

Seokmin nearly melted at the gesture and your words. It is no lie that Seokmin was a rather affectionate person, but hearing you say that you didn't love him ut were in love with him? He was putty in your hands. You were his person in this life. And he was convinced that in every universe, you two found your way towards one another.

"I love you today," he began, his thrusts following after his sentence.

"I love you tomorrow." This time, his thrust was a little harder.

"And I'll love you always." This thrust in particular curved right into your g-spot, sending you into a frenzy of whimpers and moans. Your fingernails dug into his biceps which caused him to smirk deeply.

The bed was squeaking slightly, you two were moaning just to each other. Your love for one another was not for show, just for you two which made the room feel so intense. Under his gaze, you turned into a puddle. Literally. You got wetter the more he gazed down at you with his piercing brown eyes.

"I-I don't know how much longer I can last," you confessed. Your stomach was being a fire pit, the band within you getting tighter and tighter. You could burst at any moment.

Seokmin was in the same situation. He was trying his best to delay his own orgasm. He could feel the way his cock twitched erratically within you. But this wasn't just about him. Tonight, this was about you and your relationship.

"I know, sweet girl. Whenever you're ready, I'm right there with you," he promised.

His thrusts Neve slowed down. If anything, they sped up to help you reach your orgasm. If there was one thing about Seokmin, he was determined to give you the very best this life could offer, always providing his best. He would do anything for you.

His cock was driving right into your g-spot continuously. After one particular thrust, you lost it. The band in you snapped and you let out a soft cry in pleasure. Your vision went white, mind went blank - squirting slightly on the bedsheets and on Seokmin's thighs.

That was enough for Seokmin. A low growl ripped through his throat as his hands were planted on your hips, keeping you close to him. He thrusted his hops one more time to ensure all of his cock was buried inside you as hot spurts of his cum painted your walls. His head rolled back slightly as his body relaxed at the feeling of his high.

You breathed out shakily at the feeling of just how full you were. Your body trembling underneath him as you began to come down from your own high. "Seokmin?" you called out softly.

That was enough for Seokmin to be brought down to reality. His eyes landed down on you, seeing the soft gaze on your face. And he knew just what you needed.

"Don't even got to ask, angel," he whispered.

His lips pressed against yours gently as he began to slip out of you. You whimpered softly at the loss of feeling him so close, but soon relaxed as his arms wrapped around you. He pushed back the comforter so he could slip the two of you underneath the warmth of blankets.

Seokmin pulled back just a bit to ensure you were comfortable underneath the sheets. His arms loosely wrapped around you, allowing you to shift as needed to get into a comfortable position. Once you were settled, his arms tightened slightly around you to pull you in closer.

Your head nuzzled into his neck, pressing a gentle kiss. Seokmin was grateful you decided to cuddle up into him, so you didn't witness how his cheeks flushed at the display of affectionate.

"I can't believe I get to end my nights like this now," you whispered. Your voice was softer, your body a bit limp. He knew you were starting to get tired, and he couldn't blame you. You two spent the day unpacking before going out for a dinner date. It's been practically nonstop until this moment.

"I can," Seokmin confessed in a hushed tone. One of his hands rested on your spine, fingertips running up and down slowly. His other hand tucked strands of hair behind your ear. "I always wanted this for us, to have our own space where we can grow and love each other."

Now it was your turn to blush.

Your arms had wrapped around Seokmin's torso, keeping you close to him. Not like he had any plans of letting you go anytime soon. You began to fall asleep to the sound of his soft breathing and his heart beating. It helped that he was also swearing your favorite cologne of his.

"Goodnight, baby," you whispered. "Goodnight, princess. Same time tomorrow?" he asked teasingly.

Ok so this photo has me thinking… how would we all feel about Soccer Star!SVT plots? Like especially DK?? Wowowowow

Update: did turn this into a small fic! which you can read HERE please let me know if I should continue, add other members, etc.

Game-Winning Goal - Lee Seokmin

Synopsis: Your college's soccer team was competing to secure a spot in playoffs - the first time in the history of the program. Everyone cheered for him, and it felt like sometimes your voice got lost in the crowd. However, each time he took the field, he prayed you were in the stands just for him.

Pairing: Soccer Captain!Lee Seokmin x fem. reader

Genre: Angst - jealous reader, classmates to lovers

Word Count: 2.4k

Got inspired by the very picture posted on Weverse a few days ago hehe hope you enjoy it!

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Everyone was standing at attention underneath the lights of your university's soccer stadium. You wondered how many students knew even about the stadium up until a few weeks ago.

Like other universities, students rallied around the sports teams that were doing good. Soccer was one of the very few people rarely talked about. At least, that was the case up to last month. The soccer team, led by Lee Seokmin, has picked up momentum and have been making strides. That includes that for the first time in the program's history, they had the chance to potentially secure a spot in the playoffs.

All the boys were eager to see the stands filled up. The game even sold out on tickets, something that also never happened. Most of the time, the boys had to beg friends to come and support them. It was nice to see people were genuinely excited, but that only increased the pressure to perform well.

There were 7 minutes left in the match. The score was 2-1, the opposing team.

Your eyes were locked on Lee Seokmin, the captain but also a friend of yours. To be honest, you weren't sure what to classify him as.

You've always been aware of who Lee Seokmin was. The two of you met at freshman orientation. You still remember how his face lit up with excitement when he announced he was on the soccer team during an ice-breaker. He thought he would be one of those faces you see walk around campus and have the vague memory of.

It wouldn't be until junior year when you two were placed in the same writing seminar that your paths would cross again. You thought he wouldn't have recognized you from two years ago, but you were mistaken. Seeing a familiar face gave Seokmin the perfect excuse to come sit next to you in the lecture hall. And then again as a way to work together for peer-editing, or at least that's what he claimed.

The peer-editing sessions led to you two exchange numbers, but it still wasn't enough for Seokmin. Sure, he enjoyed getting to hangout with you outside of the classroom but it was always for classwork. He craved more which led to him asking you out.

Due to the practice and traveling schedules of the team, you only have gone on three dates so far. Each date was wonderful, of course. Seokmin was the definition of a gentleman. It was easy to be ever about the potential of what you could be.

His teammates knew who you were. You were the girl who made their captain happy. While they never asked for specifics when it came to the two of you, they were just content to see Seokmin enjoying life. You showed up for the games, often lingering around afterward to congratulate the guys and Seokmin on their victory. It was easy to win their support when you showed interest in the sport that bonded them all together.

You couldn't deny your bubbling jealousy as girls around you screamed for him. He was yours. You've been the one seeing him off the field the last few weeks. However, the rest of the student body wasn't aware of that fact just yet. Or at least, you were hoping one day to make things official with him.

"Have you seen the captain?" "Oh you mean Seokmin? Yeah! He's so tall and dreamy." "The definition of tall, tan, and handsome."

A chorus of giggles erupted around you in agreement. Your heart twitched as you wanted so badly to snap at them. Yet, that wasn't your place a tall. You guys were not even official.

"He just is so hot. I bet he's great in bed." "I mean, he's got to have good hand eye coordination."

Give me a break.

"Okay guys, we cannot leave any up to chance," Seokmin spoke to his teammates. They were all gathered in a quick huddle as the opposing team called a timeout. The perfect opportunity to strategize to make the game-winning play.

Not only did Seokmin feel pressure to get the team to playoffs, but he knew you were somewhere in the stands watching him. You've been to a few games throughout the season, but this was the first game you were in attendance as the girl he was seeing.

He felt like everything he worked for, one and off the field, depending on the outcome of this game.

"Jeonghan and Mingyu, you need to make sure you are blocking their defensive. I can kick the ball to Seungkwan who then can kick it to Jihoon," he described.

Instead of going on dates with you, he has been studying playbooks and videotapes from previous games. He has sacrificed investing time with you because his team needed him at the moment. Everyone was looking at him to make quick decisions, and to be dependable.

It honestly made him feel guilty because he wanted to spend time with you. Yet, you were so understanding. You encouraged him to put his all into the game.

He just knew he couldn't disappoint you.

All the boys exchanged looks with each other, nonverbally saying they like the plan and are ready to defend each other. They were hungry to win.

"Let's go win this thing, boys," Seungcheol called out.

The referee blew the whistle, signaling that timeout was over and the game needed to resume. It filled Seokmin's chest when he heard the roar of the crowd, as Woozi took the play to the corner to throw the ball in. What made Seokmin's heart rattle was the fact your voice was mixed in the crowd. He just knew you had to be out there, watching him.

And there was no other place you wanted to be. It was a crisp evening once the sun had set. You were wearing a leather jacket, leg bouncing a bit uncontrollable. You were undoubtedly nervous for all the boys, but mainly for Seokmin. He just deserved all the good that this world had to offer.

All eyes were on the soccer ball that Woozi threw in. The stadium roared with excitement as Jeonghan and one of the opponent players tried maneuvering the ball in their respective team's favor. The cheers got louder once Seokmin's team took the advantage of the ball.

You felt like you couldn't breathe. You were nervous and excited, hopeful.

Even being in the stands, you could see the sweat starting to drip down Seokmin's face and neck. Strands of his hair were starting to stick to his forehead. He was giving his all to the game right now. You couldn't be anymore proud.

Jeonghan kicked the ball to Seungkwan. However, he was beginning to be cornered by the defense. He kicked the ball to Seokmin which suddenly made everyone cheer louder.

You suddenly thought back to the eager freshman boy you met the summer before college. You wondered if he ever believed he would make it to this moment - where everything seems to be falling into place. He wore a sly smirk as he kicked the ball back and forth, tricking and even frustrating the opponent in front of him. Seokmin then kicked the ball over to Seungcheol behind him who began running towards the end goal.

This was it. The final minutes.

Seungcheol looked like he was about to attempt to score. He had a good angle, but just had to weave through some defensive players who were determined to stop him.

Seokmin jogged up behind, ready to assist. And it was a good thing he did because one of the opponents kicked the ball away from Seungcheol right underneath him, popping the ball away. "Shit," he murmured.

Never before has Seokmin run so fast. He knew if they lost possession of the ball the game would be over. And that was something he was not counting on happening. Not when they were so close to securing a spot in playoffs.

Seungkwan managed to get the ball away from the opponents which made Seokmin smirk. Good. The ball was kicked back towards Seokmin. This was all on him. He stopped the ball fro rolling with his foot.

Quickly, his eyes scanned all his options. All his teammates were being blocked by defensive players. He had no choice but to kick it. If he tried running with the ball again, he could very easily lose possession. It would be a tight kick to get it in the net, but Seokmin was determined. The crowd was screaming at Seokmin to kick it, to just try.

He was the only hope.

From the corner of his eye, he noticed the other team was trying to calculate his next move. They were basically ready to pounce on him. He had to kick now or forever would regret it.

Narrowing his eyes on the goal net, he tried analyzing quickly which would be the best pocket to aim for. Their goalie was crotched down. He could aim low, making the goalie believe he had to jump for it. It was a risk. It just didn't help that Seokmin was at a tighter angle away from the net than he'd prefer, but he had to try. If not for himself, for his team and for you.

Time froze as Seokmin moved his leg back. He kicked the ball with all his might. The roar of the crowd died down to him as all eyes were locked on the ball, anticipating it to be caught by the net and not the hands of the goalie.

You held your breath, praying to the heavens that everything Seokmin had worked for would finally prove worth it.

CLINK

Your eyes widened as the ball hit off the goal post, going over the heads of several players. The fans of the visiting team broke out into cheers as their team was able to claim possession of the ball.

Groans were surrounding you as people quickly began to gather their belongings. The game was over. You felt your heart shatter as you could see the look of disappointment wash over the face of players for your school's team. You then quickly looked at Seokmin.

Your whole world shattered even more when you saw the rears in his eyes. Almost as if it was in slow motion, he fell down to his knees. The referee blew the whistle, signaling the end of the game. The opposing team cheered, ecstatic that they clinched a spot. Your team, your boys, all lowered their heads. A few of them went over to Seokmin to check on him.

You too gathered your own belongings. You couldn't stay here.

People began climbing the stands to exit the sports arena, whereas you pushed your way down to get to where the turf met the bleachers. A few people looked at you, confused as to why you'd want to make your way onto the field especially since the season was over. It was the only place you wanted to be.

Seokmin slowly got up, but he couldn't bring his feet to walk off the pitch. He had given everything and then some for this team, for the game. As captain, he felt as if he had let everyone down especially the seniors who now just played in their final game. It wasn't the outcome they all hoped for.

And to make things worse, he saw the floods of his fellow classmates leaving the stadium. He wasn't surprised if you left with them. God, why would you even want to be with him now that he was the sole reason why the team's season was over.

"Seokmin!"

His head picked up, confused. It wasn't an angry voice as he was anticipated. He was convinced he was going to be on everyone's shit list until the end of the school year.

He didn't even have time to process who had called out as the voice was distant at first. All he felt was arms wrap around his torso, nearly knocking him over. Yet, his feet were glued to the turf. Maybe because hew as in denial that the game was actually over? Or that once he walks off, the season was truly over.

The only thing that brought him back to reality was when he looked down to see it was you. His arms instantly wrapped around you yet his eyes were wide as the moon. You didn't care how sweaty he was. You even tightened your hold on him.

"Y/n? Why are you still here?" His voice was soft, almost broken. Were you about to end things right here with them all because of the game? "Coming down to tell you how proud I am of you."

Proud? Why? Did you even watch the same game?

Yet, he didn't have the strength to question your intentions. His eyes swelled with tears as he buried his face into your shoulder. He squeezed your body delicately yet held you closely as if he was afraid you were going to float away from him.

The scent of your perfume has always been a comfort to him. Whether it be he was stressing over a paper, or that he was trying to relax after a game - you were a comfort to him. He squeezed your body again, hoping that with as non-communicative as he was being in the moment, you could feel how much he appreciated you just being here with them. He was speechless that you didn't give up hope on him, even if he let everyone down including himself.

"You did everything you could, put your whole heart out in the field tonight," you whispered into his ear. His eyes fluttered shut at the feeling of both your warm body against his own, and the way your fingers were currently driving through his hair. It was as if you knew exactly what he needed without him having to ask.

"No, y/n, sweetie. My heart was in the stands tonight."

He pulled back and you could see the tears both in his eyes and staining his cheeks. However, he wore a gentle smile. You smiled gently up at him as you kept one arm wrapped around his torso. Your other hand lifted up to gently brush the tears away. Not once did you take your eyes off of him. How could you when you had him, a pure work of art, standing in front of you?

"And I'll always be here, waiting for you either after the game to embrace you. No matter, win or lose, I'm don't plan on going anywhere, if that is okay with you." "It's more than okay," he whispered.

Winning tonight and securing a spot in the playoffs would have been nice. However, Seokmin now realized the greatest victory was making you his one and only. That's the goal he's been aiming for all season.

i’m trying to find these specific fics if anyone knows which ones i’m talking about please let me know!!! one of them is a Dk fic where him and the reader are neighbors (i think) and he gets drunk and confesses to the reader and then avoids the reader. i think the title was something along the lines of “the one smiling guy” (???) and then the second one was a dino fic and it was idol!au this one was like like a one shot smau and the screenshots were mainly on text messages and twitter. the reader was there for him through out majority of his life before and after debut. i can remember some parts of the smau where it was a recap of a live and one of the members revealed that dino lets the reader call him otter or baby otter. i think the last screenshot of the smau was of them confirming their relationship on twitter

i know this was long and i’m not sure if lots of people will see this but hopefully i can find them soon 🙏🏻