Dokyeom - Tumblr Posts

𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 ..｡*ﾟ+

mr smooth (weightlifting fairy kim bok joo!inspired smau, swimmer!mingyu x weightlifter!reader)

jeonghan x reader thief!au (title unconfirmed)

'tis the damn season (jihoon x reader, christmas special fic)

note: unconfirmed fics are likely to be published only after all current and upcoming fics are done! if there are any plot ideas you may have, let me know, or if there are certain characters you want to see them portray, drop me a note too ;)

seokmin x reader (i'm thinking strangers to lovers lol)

joshua x reader time travel au?

hoshi idol au?

seungcheol x reader (reincarnation/red string theory?)

...more to come *+:｡.｡

pov: seventeen are happy to see you

my sunshine, my heart, my soul, my world, my everything🥹🤧🫶🏽💐

Kyeomie 🥹🫶

Absolutely insane that a man is out here looking this good

Seventeen doing wintery things with you

I tried to make this the least holiday specific that I could so that everyone can enjoy! :)

Seungcheol:

- would make sure you have all your layers on before you go out

- He does not want you to get cold🥺

- And then once you get outside he would keep checking to make sure you’re warm enough 

- He would also love to take you to a coffee shop 

- And y’all could sit in a window seat and drink coffee or hot cocoa and watch the snow fall 

- And tell each other about childhood holiday traditions 

- Imagine him insisting on reading a holiday book to you too

- He wraps an arm around you and reads it all dramatically 

- You’re just rolling your eyes the whole time but he’s knows you secretly enjoy it

Jeonghan:

- He would probably complain about how cold he is

- you would establish a “no snowballs in the face rule”

- He would proceed to throw a snowball directly in your face

- He wouldn’t even feel bad after

- After that you would not stop until you got your revenge

- Except every time you try to throw a snowball at him, you miss

- Ofc he just makes fun of you more for that 

- It gets to the point where Seungcheol has to hold him for you down so you can throw a snowball in his face

Joshua:

- You can’t tell me he doesn’t know all the present wrapping hacks

- His presently look the best and he wraps them so effortlessly 

- They’re aesthetically pleasing too 

- Like vintage, old looking, brown paper packages tied up with string type shit

- Also imagine this man taking you on an ice skating date 

- He would be so graceful like no way he’s falling

- Then if you fall or if you’re clinging to the side the whole time he would low key feel bad

- Or he would just try to teach you how to ice skate

- “I promise it’s not that hard! Here, just hold my hands. I’ll skate backwards. Just concentrate on me. There, you got it!” 

Jun:

- He would love to go sledding with you 

- He would be so happy just to watch you smile as he pushes you down a hill

- And he would insist on being the one to push you 

- Then you would ask him to sled with you

- “But I like watching you have fun.”

- “Please Junhui?” 

- “Okay fine.” 

- “Why are you grabbing another sled?” 

- “Uhhh because we’re going sledding together…?” 

- “Right. Together. With me in your lap.” 

- Imagine the blush on this mans face oh my god

- He would love it though

Hoshi:

- You would dare him to eat the snow

- He would absolutely do it

- Imagine his face if you jokingly told him it was yellow snow after he ate it too 

- This man would be mortified 

- The chaos that surrounds this man, I simply cannot

- Then he would be like “Well I ate the snow, now you gotta eat the snow.” 

- And you would refuse

- And he would keep trying to convince you and low key be mad

- But you would still refuse

- And he would probably pout

- Until you brought him inside and make cookies together or something

- And y’all could decorate them together

- But he would just keep decorating his as tigers

- Are we surprised?

Wonwoo:

- He’s got you covered with the hand warmers 

- Okay but imagine you’re out gift shopping and you realize how cold your hands are

- And as soon as he notices you rubbing them together he whips out his hand warmers from his own pockets

- And you’re like “But won’t your hands be cold.” 

- Then he slips one of his hands into your pocket, holding yours, and says “nope.” 

- Like you might look a little awkward but isn’t that adorable

- Honestly he doesn’t care that his own hands are cold as long as you’re comfortable

Woozi:

- Imagine he has you over at his studio 

- And you notice it’s not decorated 

- And you’re like Jihoon we gotta get festive

- So you suggest that you go get decorations and of course he can’t say no to you

- Off to the store you go 

- He only wants lights but you insist on buying it all: the lights, holiday knick- knacks, holiday pillows, ornaments, maybe a little tree, candles, blankets 

- And when you get back to the studio you decorate together 

- But the whole time he keeps insisting that decorating is not necessary 

- Of course you ignore him 

- And after he can’t help but notice how much more cozy it looks with all the decorations and you wrapped up in a blanket sitting on his couch with an “I told you so” look on your face 

DK:

- You can’t tell me that he’s not a fan of cheesy holiday movies

- Like the Hallmark ones

- You know when the holidays come around he always has the hallmark channel on

- Even if it’s just in the background

- They’re not even good movies but for some reason he loves them

- Imagine it’s a holiday movie musical too 

- You know he’s singing every song to you

- And he would probably try to get you to dance with him

- He would absolutely cry if it’s a sad movie

- Even if it’s only a little sad 

- Like imagine him crying over the Grinch

- He would have no shame either

Mingyu:

- He would definitely slip and fall on the ice

- Like y’all would just be holding hands, walking down the sidewalk

- And down he goes 

- He’d probably pull you down with him

- And you somehow always end up on top of each other

- This is almost bound to happen every time you go outside 

- He would feel so bad but also think it’s so funny 

- Then you would scold him about how clumsy he is and tell him he needs to be more careful

- And he would look at you with those puppy dog eyes and tell you that he probably has bruises from falling and he needs you to kiss them and make them better

- “You’re not getting any kisses from me until you start being more careful around icy sidewalks.” 

- As if the puppy dog eyes couldn’t get any bigger

- “But I need your kisses to make me better! I don’t even think I can stand up right now.”

-  “Then I guess you’ll have to stay here in the snow.” 

- He wraps his arms around you, momentarily trapping you there with him

- “And that means you’re staying with me….. Unless…”

- Then you kiss him on the cheek 

- “You missed.” 

- That little shit

- Then you kiss him on the lips and he releases you 

- He would make the best hot cocoa when you come back inside

- I’m sorry this one is so long, I love this man haha

Minghao:

- Picture this:

- You

- Minghao

- Evening time

- You’re outside and it’s snowing lightly

- You can hear distant holiday music

- There’s twinkling lights all around you

- Minghao puts his arms around your waist, pulling you in

- “Dance with me?” 

- You wrap your arms around his waist with the biggest smile on your face

- “If you insist.” 

- And then y’all dance together in the snow

- He twirls you around and everything

- Your head rests gently on his chest so that you can hear his heart racing, of course, because you’re there

- Then he softly kisses you on the top of your head

- It is perfection

Seungkwan:

- He would definitely have a snowman building contest with you 

- But no matter how hard you tried

- He would say his looks better 

- Even if it was a mere pile of leaves, a carrot, and a sad excuse for snow 

- He would also probably sing holiday carols to you while you build your snowmen

- Imagine if you kicked his over though

- He would be so mad

- This would probably result in a snow fight

- Or him putting snow down your shirt

- He would probably kick your snowman down too 

- This man is so petty omg 

Vernon:

- Unlike Josh, he cannot wrap presents to save his life

- Like imagine a simple box

- It takes this man 20 minutes to wrap it 

- He tries really hard too

- There’s a bow and everything 

- But like a really bad bow tied in an awkward knot

- And the wrapping paper ends up getting hella crinkled

- Somehow there ends up being tape all over that thing 

- And there’s still wrapping paper hanging off awkwardly on the side 

- His present wrapping: 1/10

- However, the gift: 10/10

- Absolutely listened to you say what you wanted when you were perusing some store

- Then he got Seungkwan to distract you while he bought you everything you said you liked 

- Even if you merely said something looked cute

- It’s now yours

- Thanks Vernon

Dino:

- Imagine you’re at the studio rehearsing something with Dino or watching him practice

- You know there’s a bit of a storm outside but you think you’ll be able to make it home fine

- You’re wrong lol

- Weather reports are saying that the roads are not safe right now 

- Essentially everyone is stuck where they are for the rest of the night (Please don’t come for me on the snow logistics, I spent most of my life in Florida.)

- Uh oh cLoSe prOxiMitY trOPe

- Dino is like hey it’s okay we can make little party out of it

- He goes to grab blankets and pillows that the boys conveniently stored there 

- And then you suggest that you make a fort to sleep in because you’re a little scared due to the howling winds outside

- He agrees and you make a huge fort with some chairs and your amazing fort making abilities

- At night the studio ends up getting really cold too so uh oh the only thing you can to do keep warm is cuddle with each other

- He’s kind shy about it at first too 

- But you initiate the cuddling because you’re freezing, wrapping your arm around him from behind and pulling him in

- Then he scoots back a little so you can feel his body heat which helps a lot

- Eventually you entangle your legs together and fall asleep holding each other

if you come across this post then do read it amazing story

Echoes Within The Heart's Battlefield

Pairing: Seokmin (DK) x Female Reader Genre: Angst, Fluff (SFW) Warnings: Mentions of Child Abuse, Grotesque Description of Murder, anything I have missed and is a TW, lemme know please. I'll update. Word Count: 10.8k+ Master List is here

No dividers, we read like the ancient.

Alpha written, beta read but not theta edited. Excuse the errors.

A.N You will not believe this one fic was birthed because of a single comment I saw by @onlyseokmins. Inspiration runs funny guys.

Downing his fifth shot for the night, he gazed around him as people mixed into the crowd, sweaty bodies on the dance floor, jiving to the rhythm of 'Kokomo’. 

Women glide around the room, attending to sleazy men- men who couldn't keep their hands to themselves, groping what was clearly not theirs.

He wanted to puke in the mouth before he realized no one forced him to be here, this was purely his choice to make ,coming to a hostess bar.

Better yet, he could get into a ton of trouble coming here, going so far as having his contract terminated if anyone finds out an idol from Hybe was present here. His disguise wasn't fooling anyone but he hoped the drunken bodies around him would be too inebriated to care.

His only goal for the night was to pretend this day never existed. 

"Dokyeomah, you are just too sensitive." Sensitive. He hated that word. When did being a little emotional and empathetic deprive him of any choice to make rational decisions ?

His members loved him ,he was quite sure of that, he wouldn't have survived a decade with them had they not. But every so often they keep forgetting that he has grown up after all. He wasn't seventeen any more.

Being a little goofy did not rid him of adult duties and although he knew his hyungs meant it for the best, their constant coddling was getting on his last nerve and he needed to leave that environment.

Which in hindsight proved to be just fine, that's what led him to see you.

You descended down the stairs in a black velvet gown, gloved hands drumming down the railing of the stairway, curls bouncing with every stride you took on your downward descent. He didn't think curly hair would be this sexy on anyone but the way it cascaded down your shoulders all the way to the hip, allured him in. It seemed every curl was hiding a mystery within, winking at him to dare make a move. 

He couldn't take his eyes off you even if he tried, what with your pouty lips, foxy eyelids and freckles- when did freckles become something he simped over? 

As if mocking his decision to approach you, a burly man, quite the hunk of a man if he could lightly put it, walked right in front of his view, placing  an arm around you, whisking you away to the inside quarters.

How could he ever think someone like you would be alone and that he might have a chance? You and that man just made perfect sense together.

Downing his sixth shot for the night, he set to drown out the night forever, hoping the hangover would be so painful that he could wipe you from his memories.

~~~~~~~~

Just another one of those days again. Seriously, Seokmin needs to figure out what was up with his bandmates and their strong belief  about his inability to make up his mind. 

Shua hyung had called him too naive when he had protested against management's refusal to attend his friend's party. 

Ninth year of contract and he still needed several rounds of permission and a clan of men to accompany him to his friend's party , and even with the outright dismissal to attend what would have been a fun night for him, rather than take his side, Shua hyung had sided with his manger on this. Traitor.

"Beomsoo has allegedly been accused of having drugs at his parties Minnie, and going to one such event could have you risking all of our reputations."

Allegedly. 

Everything in the industry was ruined with a mere word of allegedly. Smear campaigns especially against Hybe artists were on the rise and he "should have known better than to think of asking permission to attend Yoo Beomsoo's party."

Having all this aggravation within him but still denied the mere opportunity to drink the night away, Seokmin adorns a baseball cap and joggers, running to 'Cluckingham Bay'- his favorite Fried Chicken place, the one near his apartment. He didn't want to risk going to a bar pulling up for practice the next day hungover. He almost got caught for his last stunt.

Hopefully. he could lose himself in the hustle and bustle of a crowded restaurant all the while eating his heart out and satisfying a part of him by breaking his dietary restrictions. He was too hard on his body anyway. 

The restaurant was far too loud and it could be the sadness that lent to his lack of hunger but the chicken was just not doing it today. The grease from the bone was adding to his queasiness. It seems today's events were far too unsettling that the scrumptious meal in front of him, enough to feed three big men, wasn't doing it for his appetite. 

Not wanting to feel even worse for the food he was eventually going to waste, he paid his bill, making sure to add a huge chunk of tip and sat there opting to stare at the multitude of people coming and going. He didn't miss the tick in the waitress' face at the huge amount of food that they were going to have to waste.

After having wallowed in enough self pity for a whole night's worth, he began to take the long way home, hat pulled all the way up obscuring his face. The restaurant was closing for the night and he had well overstayed his welcome.

~~~~~~~~

He wouldn't have heard it in his usual jovial self but today that sound was unmistakable. A small squeak filtered into his hearing.

His body froze and blood rushed haywire. All of 5'11 and big muscles yet a small rat could have him in a frenzy. This must be his penance for disrespecting his hyungs.  Every nerve in his body stood still and although his brain told him to run, his body couldn't quite process the order. 

It's already way darker than he'd like it to be, save for the light from the nearby lamppost, add a crawling creature to the mix, Seokmin was ready to just die.

After a whole 30 seconds had passed, he couldn't hear the squeak no more. Relieved at the runaway mouse, his body began to unfreeze, preparing to dash home. 

That decision proved futile on hearing the rustle of plastic. 

If he didn't agree that he was a "pabo" as his hyungs believed him to be, he sure did a terrible job of trying to prove them wrong, with the way he was following that sound. He had no idea how, his feet just seemed to carry him through it.

He followed his curiosity and watched as a certain figure sat hunched on their hind legs. With as much stealth he could afford himself, he ambled in the shadows to catch a sight that would forever be ingrained in his brain forever.

~~~~~~~~

It was unmistakably you, your curls that revealed mysteries could not be missed, but were it not for the hair , he wouldn't have realized it's you. There you were, in a ratty baseball shirt and torn jeans-  torn against their will as opposed to the fashion choices they make in their outfits. Your once gloved hands were now shaking in the cold night air and you were holding a chicken bone.

Realization hit him like an ice cold bucket of water on coming to the conclusion that you were feeding into the food he had meticulously thrown out. Scarfing down the meat like this was your first meal in days, huddled near the bin for warmth, you looked gaunt. There were no freckles, no shine in your matted hair and no elegance in your position. 

After your last bite, you stood up, wiped your hands on your pants, put your head into the trash bin (in hopes of catching more food he gathered). Failing to come up with anything, you went your way, the pangs of hunger never having left you.

Gone was the graceful aura, replaced by a picture of frustration and survival. Seokmin felt a pang of sympathy, mingled with confusion. How did someone so ethereal end up here, in such a rough-and-tumble state?

Not able to stomach it anymore, Seokmin bolted home hoping the tears blinding him wouldn't cause him to stumble. 

~~~~~~~~

It is a habit now. What had initially started as means to vent from the heavy exercise his body succumbed to with all the dancing had now moved onto a need. 

The restaurant owner had created a safe spot for him. They knew his specific order and what followed after that. The waitress 'Minari noona' would come in and ask if it was the usual. Upon confirming, he'd gobble down his share of the food, pack up the rest, seclude it in a paper bag he'd begin collecting now, and place it near the exact same spot- by the trash bin. 

He never saw your face after that but he could always tell it was you, owing to your trademarked hair. You'd scamper in, looking sideways, up, down and above?, on seeing nobody around you'd open your paper bag, sitting in the same position- a squat. He loved watching you gnaw on the chicken bone. 

It did sound weird the way he'd phrased that. But watching you savor fried chicken, not wasting a single piece of meat, nibbling on the bone and how you'd pack up the waste and throw it into the dustbin after which you'd wipe your hands on the handkerchief you'd retrieve from your pocket and walk away gave him sense of serenity.

Tonight proved to be no different. His routine was always the same. Walk to the bin, place the paper bag there, go back to the restaurant and stare from the window in his secluded spot, ordering a plate of tea cakes to avoid suspicion.

Except, he was unaware of the figure looming by the bin, eyes covered by a  bandanna. Just as he began to get up from his crouched position on the floor after having placed the bag, he was punched.

Straight on the gut.

"Ooomf- What the f-"

His cry was cut out as a palm was placed against his mouth muffling his screams. The other hand came around his eyes blinding him and Seokmin could feel the cool in their hand. 

He yelped again and this time, the figure climbed on him like a monkey, effectively shutting him down to silence.

He knew he should be scared, but feeling the weight of a human body, he was astounded to realize they weighed so little. Why was a child attacking him?

Struggling beneath them proved useful; one shove in, he managed to tackle them and unveil the bandanna, revealing your furious eyes. What the actual fuck?

Your enraged eyes blazed as you punched him again on the shoulder, your frustration evident. “You!”

Seokmin spluttered “W-wwhat did I do?”

“You’ve been watching me, haven’t you? Stalking me?”

“No, no! I’m not stalking you! I—”

“Then why are you always here? Why do you leave that food?”

“I—I just wanted to help. I thought you might be hungry.”

“Liar! No one is that nice. Well, except for the man who owns the restaurant here. But he said he never placed any paper bags by the bin. Be honest, or I will report you to the cops. I am not afraid of anyone.”

Well shit. He had to think fast! Panicking,he lied.

"Well I used to be hungry too. I know what it’s like to struggle, to not have enough. I’ve been there. I was poor once, and I know how it feels to be in need. I didn’t want you to go through that alone.”

Your eyes looked through him not believing a single word.

Commit to the bit, stare her down!

“Really? You were poor?”

He was not. 

“Yeah. I know it might sound hard to believe, but I’ve been in your shoes. I understand what it’s like to need help, and I just wanted to give back in some way. I’m sorry if it came off as strange.”

Silence.

He was beginning to sweat gratuitously. 

Taking a deep sigh, you looked back up at him, with a huge heart stopping smile? 

Seokmin was doing whiplashes around you, one minute he was awestruck by your gorgeousness, next minute he was dumbfounded because of how cute you were. Your cheeks bunched up and your eyes closed to the intensity of your smile. 

And now you look sad. 

"I am sorry. I will pay you back. Rent has been tight this month , and I-

" No , no no .. hey please none of that. Seriously don't worry about paying me back just-"

Crap what does he say? You were looking at him dubiously. 

"I don't want your pity ---?"

Oh right, she wanted his name, he can't let down his cover-

"Minnie. You can call me Minnie."

"Okay Minnie, I don't need your pity."

 “How about this? Two months from now, we’ll gather in the exact same spot. If you still want to pay me back then, we can talk about it.”

“Two months? Why wait?”

“Just... trust me on this. I’d rather you focus on getting through now. Let’s talk about it then, if you still want to.”

Nodding slowly, “Alright. Two months. Thank you, Minnie.”

“You’re welcome. ”

"Alright then. Do you want to share this with me?"

"Oh no- I couldn't-"

You brought the heat back in your upturned mouth and he didn't want to argue anymore. 

And so, under the moonlight, a friendship was forged between two souls, bound together not by truth but by a shared meal of chicken, fated to find connection amidst a heap of lies.

~~~~~~~~

His once- in- a- fortnight visits turned from once a week , to an almost everyday visit. He knew the effects of having fried chicken daily would wear on his body ,which is why he resorted to spending extra time at the gym.

You both didn't talk much, afraid that if you did secrets would come out in the open. But you both did bask in each other's presence to munch on some chicken and savor each other's serenity in a world of chaos.

You had begun to liven up under his care. He watched with pride as some meat had descended into your cheeks, there was mirth in your eyes and best of all, you weren't looking at him sketchily everytime.

Except today, he was met with a shocker. Your foxy eyes now glaring daggers at him all the while holding up a magazine plastered with his face all over it.

He sighed. It's a miracle he could hold on this long without the truth coming out

“What the hell is this? Who's Dokyeom? Who's DK? Who's Seokmin And who the hell is MINNIE??”

He looked down, guilt-ridden.

“I— I’m sorry. It’s me. I’m Seokmin. I should have told you the truth from the start.”

“You should have? You think hiding behind a fake name is okay? How long were you planning to keep this charade up? And why? What was the point of all this?”

“I didn’t want you to see me as just another idol. I wanted to connect with you as a real person. I thought if I used a different name, we could have something genuine.”

You scoffed . “Genuine? Are you kidding me? You were lying to me this whole time! How can you expect me to believe anything you say now? You’ve been deceiving me from the beginning!”

"Hey you were lying to me too, one minute you were in silks parading around 'Aurora Nights' and now here you are eating from a garbage bin. I kept your secrets too!"

"W-wwhat?"

Did he end up ousting himself?

" I mean I--"

"So this whole thing was a pity party huh? You couldn't afford me then so now you choose to lure me in by buying me food every night in hopes I'd strike up a conversation with you and you could- what? Play knight in shining armor?"

"That's not what I-"

"Cut the lies Dokyeom" 

He missed being called Minnie.

You turn to speed and walk your way but he's way faster. 

Catching you by the elbow, he turns you around and you look at his teary eyes, pleading with you to give him a chance to explain.

"Look I am sorry okay, but please let me explain. Honestly, I never thought the lies would get this far, I- I well I just wanted to buy you dinner, to help. It was never about pity or trying to play some kind of hero."

He wanted to say more, but you didn't look like you needed a lot of explanations. You stared deeply into his eyes as if deciphering what's really going on in there.

Seeing nothing but raw emotion, you shrugged and took his hand, leading him to-

"What's happening? Where are you taking me?"

You turned back with a grin.

"I did offer you a payback didn't I? Well, come over."

He came to an abrupt halt. 

"Listen, I am sorry if you thought you needed to pay me back in any way but I don't want to impose and I am not about that life- I couldn't- I don't want you in that way I-"

He was stuttering but you looked at him with an amused glint in your eye.

"You don't want me in what way?"

" Umm I- crap are you really making me say it?" 

He was blushing furiously, sweating through his shirt.

You let out a big laugh, sort of like a witch and he watched endeared.

"I mean I wanted to pay you back with Wenchang chicken since a quick Google search led me to believe that was your favorite food but if you don't want-

Not letting you finish your sentence, still holding your hand he ran into the night, your loud laughter following him.

~~~~~~~~

Guilt weighed down on Seokmin that he was hiding this from the members. They did tell each other everything after all.

But he couldn't risk a rebuking from Cheol hyung for his night outs or an immediate investigation from Hannie hyung to find out who you were. He didn't want to scare you away. You had just started getting closer to him.

He loved these nights, where you both escaped to the rooftop of the restaurant, ( he realized it was far too risky to continue their rendezvous in a popular hub spot) and dived into the bucketful of fried deliciousness. He's tried to add soju to the mix but you had declined. He remembered that look- a mix of sadness and anger, as if that bottle offended you. He never asked again.

Sometimes he brought you small gifts- a scrunchie - having a noona meant he knew scrunchies were important, so he'd kept one in his pockets just to be of help and sure enough the day arose and he couldn't be happier. A Spotify subscription- rich or poor everyone deserved to hear music uninterrupted he tells you, a cute Sanrio themed wallet- he'd disgruntled at the way you aggressively stuffed your cash in pockets crumbling them up effectively and a pair of fuzzy socks since he'd seen you shiver in the winter air. 

You'd reciprocate in your way- a doodle you'd done of him- he was gobsmacked at your talent, he told you as much, you'd smirk back; a handkerchief that you crocheted , you'd caught him sniffing the night before and wanted something to stop his runny nose; a small coaster for his table- 'when you drink a warm cup of coffee, think of me' - he could never forget you even if he tried.

Each gift was a step toward rebuilding trust.

Gradually you let the other into each others circle, still not offering up really personal information- Seokmin for fear of NDA and you because you were still guarded - but he'd share about his frustrations in dance practice and you'd vent about your day- your work was still a mystery to him, but he could take a wild guess.

~~~~~~~~

Something was off today. He could tell it was. He might have nailed every note in their song, gotten every step right in their choreography, and even received compliments from the manager for his jokes that uplifted everyone , but he could feel it in his bones- something dreadful would happen.

It had been over a week since he last saw you, and although he tried not to be too upset about it, you hadn't agreed to an everyday meetup in the first place. You'd do this often—disappear for weeks and  appear randomly, offering no explanations (not that he'd dare to ask). Your aura screamed "get away from me." He knew he hadn't reached that part of a friendship yet, although his curiosity was piqued.

But today he was getting a certain feeling that shook him to his bones. And he couldn't quite put a finger over it.

He declined the invitation to have drinks with the members, making  up a half cooked lie, bought a few skewers of lamb chops and went to the rooftop of 'Cluckingham Bay'.

It's past two in the morning, the sound of the wind rustling offered him no comfort. Still resistant about going home, hoping against all hopes that you were okay. 

He sent a quick prayer above and ended up dozing off, surrounded by the fuzzy muffler he'd brought to keep him warm.

~~~~~~~~

He woke up to the sight of your eyes, smeared with mascara streaking down your cheeks like dark rivers of terror. You were shaking uncontrollably, as if you were a withered leaf detached from its tree, caught in a relentless storm.

"오이 Oi?"

It was an inside joke that had transpired to him calling you a cucumber when he'd asked you for your name, your reason being that you were 'as tasteless as a cucumber' and although he protested vehemently , you did not succumb and reveal your name, so 'Oi' it is.

It felt like his voice had brought you out of whatever trance it had been in, causing you to jerk and just stare at him.

He was up in no time, a quick glance at his wrist watch had him tell the time as 3:40, shit had he been out of it for so long? and came over to you.

"Hey." He cooed at you. He had a number of questions-where had you been all week? Why had you shown up now, in such a state? What had happened to you? Were you running from someone?

He didn't want to overwhelm you with any questions so he spoke gently, hoping the troubled look from your eyes would disappear.

His gaze fell on you, clad in a satin dress that clung awkwardly at the waist while the hem hung in tatters. A deep gash on your forearm bled freely, and his heart raced with alarm.

First things first, he needed to cover you up. The cold wind had you shivering, your teeth chattering uncontrollably. He wrapped his muffler around you, not met with any resistance.

You welcomed the warmth, relaxing your shoulders at his touch and he had this gentle longing to scoop you up and keep you to himself, sheltering you from the cruel world. Alas there's only so much he can do.

"Come home with me," he pleaded. 

"You can leave whenever but please, it's too cold and you look like you just ran away from someone. I cannot, in good faith, leave you alone here in the dead of the night. "

Someone must have hurt you pretty bad because without any argument, you nodded. He bent down signaling you to get on his back and holding onto your ankles, he carried you down the rooftop.

Somewhere between the short walk, you had fallen asleep, the heavy head resting on his shoulder was proof enough. You looked like you needed the rest, and so he took extra care not to jostle you too much while he took you to his apartment.

~~~~~~~~

He woke up at an odd hour, the uneasiness he was feeling had come down but still not fully placated. 

He moved quietly to the guest room, the weight of his unease pressing down on him, knocking softly on your door, holding his breath, hoping for a sign of life.

Silence. "Well she might still be sleeping" he thought.

Not wanting to disturb your well deserved rest, he began to start the day, opting to text his managers he wouldn't be making it for practice today due to 'unforeseen circumstances'. Hoping that none of his bandmates would come to check on him, he started preparing a heavy breakfast.

You had looked ravenous yesterday and in your exhausted state you had refused to eat anything.

He recalled your eyes watching his every move as he used a warm towel to wipe down the blood and grime on your right arm. He had begun to softly sing, more so to calm him than you. And like a baby your eyes fluttered softly, head jerking with the dire need to sleep. He had tucked you into the sheets, still softly singing, choosing to rub your cheek and lay you on the sheets.

His heart still weighed heavily down on him at the thought of you being so afraid last night. His questions were still unanswered and more were brewing but he supposes today will be the day that changed.

An hour later, still no sign of you. The weird sensation creeped up on him again and in a haste moment of irrational thinking he knocked on the door and opened to reveal- an empty bed.

His noona's clothes he had lent you the night before were folded and placed neatly on the bed with a note.

 A simple "thank you" written in neat cursive.

~~~~~~~~

Seokmin was too angry to come to the restaurant today. Yes, he had assured that you could leave any time you wanted but surely you could wait till the morning? At least have some breakfast?

By evening, his anger had subsided. You must have run after showing a vulnerable side to him and deep down he knew they had crossed a lot of invisible boundaries. Rationality settled within and he made up his mind to visit you. If only you were there.

It seems he'd jumped the gun because there you were, in front of his apartment, bloodied and tattered up. His heart sank.

~~~~~~~~

Shua remembered a young Seokmin, before he became "DK"- wild eyed, heart three sizes too big for him and a voice that could thaw hearts. 

Fans had affectionately dubbed him "Sunshine," and it was a fitting name. There was something irresistible about Seokmin’s unwavering adoration and the way he followed Shua’s every move with a childlike wonder. The term "hyung" from him carried a special kind of reverence, and it was impossible not to be deeply touched by his genuine admiration.

Which is why his recent sketchiness was beginning to scare him. It didn't sound like Seokmin to hide things from Joshua of all people. He had been avoiding their pancake dates, opting to make them at home and bring extras for practice, refused the karaoke machine he had been whining out all year for, choosing to request board games instead? 

And now he watched warily as Seokkie was caught resting on the couch mid practice with a magazine? Since when did he start reading? A non picture book at that?

Quietly, so as to catch him off guard ,he crept up behind and WHAM!

Seokmin shrieked, jumping into the air, animatedly clutching his imaginary pearls.

Seokkie was quick but Joshua was quicker, he caught sight of what he was actually doing- fiddling on his phone- ahh that seemed more like him- but why was he hiding something- w-was he watching- ? 

Gazing down, he saw what Seokkie tried so hard to hide, his Notes revealed- "Freedom Formula: A 10-Step Plan for Her New Life".

Cue an eyebrow raise and Seokkie liquified onto the couch. 

Jeonghan had come in from the recording studio to investigate the shriek.

There were now two of his dearest hyungs looking at him inquisitively, expecting him to open up. He knew this day was coming but he hadn't thought this far ahead on the lies he should be prepared with. 

He avoided confrontation at all costs. Trying the whole pouty lip, big eyes and folded hands didn't work on them, they needed him to spill. 

So spill he did.

~~~~~~~~

"You know we are on the second leg of our contract right? Which means you have every right to date whoever you want it-"

"D-ddate!? W-what do you mean by date?"

Shua hyung spoke first- "Yeah date, young one. What did you think of?

“No, no, that’s not it at all. I mean—who said anything about dating? I don’t like her like that!”

His hyungs shared a look. Oh no, he didn't like where this was going. At all.

Smirking , Jeonghan asked "You sure about that Seokminnie?"

"Yeah-uh!"

“Alright, explain this to me, kiddo. You see a girl eating some chicken, she accuses you of stalking her, and you still persist in pursuing a relationship with her, even offering up your apartment for her to stay over for free?”

Seokmin started blushing furiously “No way! It’s not like that. I’m just—trying to be a nice guy.”

Raising an eyebrow, Shua hyung asked  “A nice guy who suddenly turns into a knight in shining armor over a chicken dinner? You’ve been dodging our pancake dates and offering up your place. If that’s not romantic, I don’t know what is.”

Jeonghan began to snicker “Yeah, Seokkie. You couldn't be more obvious, my child."

Take a defensive stance.

“Seriously, it’s just that she’s been going through a hard time. I didn’t want to make a fuss about it.”

With a teasing smirk that he would love to wipe off Shua hyungs face-“Sure, sure. And I’m guessing you also just happened to have an extra set of sheets and a spare toothbrush ready, just in case she needed a place to stay?”

“Oh, come on. Don’t try to act all nonchalant now. We saw you practically run to the store for those ‘emergency’ snacks and buy extra board games. Was that all part of your ‘nice guy’ routine?” That was Jeonghan.

Seokmin began to groan. "It's not romantic I promise."

Grinning mischievously, Shua butted in “You know, if you were trying to hide something, you’re not doing a very good job. Next time, just tell us if you’ve got a crush. We won’t bite.”

"Its not-"

"Alright, time out! Let's do this the only way we can."

And before he could protest any further, a finger came grasping his chin. His face was tipped forward and suddenly he had an eyeful of Jeonghan hyung right in front of his face. Fifteen seconds of intense stare down and he felt his soul being searched. And from deep within, he felt the secret pop out.

He gasped.

"Victory!" 

"How did you get that out of me? I didn't even know I liked her!"

"Hannie knows best young one"

His new revelation pinned the final nail down.

He was royally and utterly screwed.

~~~~~~~~

"Minnie if you don't sit still! I swear to God."

"I can't help it, the best part is coming, and you are looking out the window."

"Well if you could stop wriggling around so much-"

"Alright! If that gets you to watch the damn TV. Look here I go."

And true to his word, he sat perched up-Minghao-esque meditation style , hands clasped on to his folded calves, anything to get you to watch the damn movie.

He could hear your stifled giggles and he preened. Squinting slightly, he saw you watch in rapt attention at the kiss.

You were blushing slightly, nervously wringing your hands and shifting uncomfortably on the couch.

"If I didn't know any better I would say you act like someone who's never been kissed before."

You glanced over with wide, startled eyes.

"You've- you have never been kissed before?"

"Umm-" You looked everywhere but at him. Did he cross a line?

Well time to change the topic.

"Tentacles"

"Huh?"

It's a given that he loses his mouth to brain filter around you.

"I mean- so when we don't want to talk about a certain topic, we say Tentacles."

"You're a weird man."

Doesn't he know that?

Allie kisses Noah on the screen and he watches dreamily- at you. 

Hoping that one day, he gets to have you with him. To have your heart entrusted to him. To grow old with you. To protect you forever and ever, to not have you running away to wherever you escape to in the middle of the night coming back looking like a rag doll. To hold you close to him and have you look back at him with the same affection he tries to desperately hide around you. To love you and be loved by you. 

He knows the only way you had agreed to stay in his apartment was if he agreed to the promise that he will never fall in love with you.

He knows the only way you had agreed to stay in his apartment was if he agreed to the promise that he will never fall in love with you.

"Wow, fancy bedsheets huh. What happened to keeping it lowkey?"

'I--it's not fancy. They are Eomma's old ones.

'"Are you giving me your mother's used bed sheets Minnie?"

"They are not used I swear! She has too many and she-"

"I am just messing with you Minnie! I don't mind either way, shit's better than I'm used to. But why did you get me these new pajamas? I can see the tags on them so don't try to lie. You messed up the deal man."

"Well I can't have you wearing my noona's pajamas. They don't fit you. Besides, it's just a pair of pajamas."

"That's what you said about the four other pairs. And the watch. And the headset. And the- 

"Look, I have money, it's well established. This is hardly a tear in my pocket. These are basic necessities for you. Let me help you. You can pay me back one day if you want, but for now enjoy all these. The headsets and the watch are freebies from my sponsors. 'Sides, you do help with stuff. You are the bug terminator here and your worth is far more than any paying roommate. So please, don't deny all this"

There comes the smolder.

"Please?"

"Well alright, if it's no trouble to you Minnie. As long as you don't go fallin in love with me ."

"Pshaaaw. As if. You should be careful that you don't fall in love with me. I am the irresistible one."

"Said your mama?"

"I- yes?"

You snorted. 

"Well alright man. I will take the toothbrush and the headset and the pajamas. I don't really need the watch that's too much. Just don't fall in love with me."

“Pinky Promise. Come now let’s spit on it" Your disgusted face added more fodder to his funny ways.

Watching your keen attention on the TV, your gaze holding an innocent awe of wonder at the two people embracing each other in a sweet kiss, your fingers twitching curling up on the arm rest, your right knee bouncing rapidly and your lips coming in a pout, unknowingly mimicking the kiss, he knows he's fucked up. He definitely broke the one promise he made you.

He’s done for.

~~~~~~~~~

His parents found out. They kept bugging about his decision to skip Chuseok despite Pledis clearing their schedules. He couldn't avoid his mother's insistent calls for so long. And so he spilled. Thankfully they were graceful about it. He wanted to cry. Why did he worry about too much in the first place?

Since he couldn't make it home for Chuseok, his family decided to come to his place. This is why he was worried.

He knew so little about you except for the obvious signs that you were lonely. And that you had no family. Or you went no contact.

You were so stubborn about so many things but during movie nights, when it was your turn to choose movies, you'd always go for the family movies. He'd see you shed a tear every time a mother hugged her daughter. Your eyes longingly fleeted to the screen when a baby came on. You giggled at dad jokes. You with all these spikes built up, loved watching wholesome movies. Who'd have thought.

He went out of his way to surprise you with gifts, but the new phone he bought remained unopened. The white dress you had admired during a window-shopping spree with him, intended to make you smile, ended up having the opposite effect from what he had hoped.

You had slammed the door of his room ,causing his phone to clatter to the floor. 

"Seokmin, what the fuck is this?" He knew he was in trouble when he was called Seokmin.

"A dress."

"I know that but why is this on the bed?"

'I thought it would be nice to-"

"You thought what? That you can just buy me whatever and I will stay with you forever? Because the debt will be so high that it will leave me incapable of moving out since I can't afford it?"

"T-that's not-"

"Sure, that's not what you thought. Gosh all you men are the same! Anytime a girl eyes something beautiful you buy it for her making her fall into this false trap and then your true colors come because all men want the same thing!"

"I--"

But you had left slamming the door behind you, leaving the dress still intact by the hanger on his bed.

You came back two days later, with an apology. Ever the soft heart, he took you back dismissing your regrets citing it as his fault for intruding in the first place. No more surprise extravagant gifts for you okay? Except it was not extravagant. It wasn't even designer. But he didn't want to tell you that.

Anything out of the norm, that was not the usual flow of things scared you. He still didn't permit his bandmates to see you, knowing they would scare you away. Or be disdained by Jeonghan hyung who had overheard you screaming at him through the phone when he brought you that dress and had called you an 'ungrateful bitch.'

Which is why he didn't tell you his whole family would be coming over for Chuseok till the last minute.  He knew he was going for the jugular by springing this up on you the last possible second but his mother had pleaded with him to have you there. She wanted to meet you and a desperate part of him wanted exactly that. For his parents to be acquainted with the fireball that had captivated his mind, soul and heart.

As expected, you leaped up in a flurry, hurling curses at him for the last-minute notice (it was the middle of the night). However, what he didn’t anticipate was your obsessive cleaning spree around the house. No spot was left untouched—the kitchen hood, the door knobs, even the toilets were scrubbed to perfection. The shower handles seemed to be gleaming. Although you didn’t run away, your body language made it clear that you were extremely nervous.

Seokmin's family was just like him—warm and welcoming to anyone who accepted their love. As he watched his sister and mother greet you with genuine kindness, his heart felt heavy. His mother had embraced you and gently stroked your cheek, mirroring the affection he often showed. He noticed you excused yourself to the bathroom, claiming you needed to check something. But he saw the tears you tried so hard to blink away.

All because his mother had touched your face. Have you never had a mother?

His sister began to recount embarrassing tales from his childhood which had prompted you to boisterously laugh. Something he rarely saw in you. When his Appa had gently pushed you away from scaling the shelves to reach for the bowl on top, stating 'let me handle it' he had caught you discreetly wiping tears from your eyes again, he had followed you to the balcony when you excused yourself for fresh air.

They had brought out the board games, and his brother-in-law was in his element, trying to outwit everyone in Trivia as he usually does. But this time, he had met his match— you! Seokmin watched with pride as you bested him, word by word, leaving his family astonished. He noticed his dad giving him a subtle nod of approval. It was clear: he had never brought home a girl this smart before.

You'd once confessed embarrassedly you'd never been to college before. He didn't get why that embarrassed you. Only he knows how he managed to graduate high school. But it was obvious you'd have loved to go to college considering how smart you were. You were the equivalent of a human calculator. Shame smart kids like you didn't receive a chance.

Sleeping plans were strange. His apartment had only two rooms ,the guest room that was now yours and his room. His family was expected to stay over at a hotel as prior notice.

But you had refused, called him out on his selfishness for sending his parents someplace else ( not that they protested), insisting that they sleep in your room. He put his foot down when you planned to leave elsewhere for the night. He was not going to let you run away again, under his watch.

So the both of you slept on adjacent couches while he gave up his bedroom to his gloating sister. The next three days passed in a quick blur. You spent every living minute glued to his mother who enjoyed having someone to baby. She taught you how to cook basic dishes, offering you tasting privileges from her fresh batch of kimchi- something his sister and him were denied when they were children. But he didn't mind.

But you didn't need to know that.

Upon complaining to his mother at the unfairness, he had received nothing less than a tut from Eomma eliciting a giggle out of you, something that got his mother and him to share a warm look at.

It's obvious- his whole family had taken an attachment to you.

And so did you.

On the day of their departure you reverted to your old ways, quiet, broody and snapping at him anytime he intruded. He had shrugged it off knowing fully well what the cause behind it was.

He caught you pulling away before his mother could come to hug you goodbye, the hurt evident in both your faces. Thankfully his mother was nothing short of understanding.

After sending them off, he came back upstairs to check on you and found you in his bedroom. With your hands pressed against the window, you stared wistfully at their retreating figures as they got into their car. Your sobs were silent, but your shoulders trembled with each breath

His heart clenched.

~~~~~~~~~

He had grown accustomed to the noise you made around the apartment—clashing pots and pans as you tried out new recipes, or the occasional expletive aimed at the characters in your horror movie marathons (he could never understand why anyone would willingly watch horror movies for fun). But today, the apartment was eerily silent.

You were home because your only pair of sneakers, browned at the edges, were still by the door. How he was itching to buy you a good pair.

Tiptoeing across to your room, he heard you groaning from behind the door. Thinking nothing about it, he hurriedly opened the door to reveal you twisting across the bed, your lovely features twisting in agony.

"Love?"

You looked mildly surprised at seeing him spring upon you but only for a second before your face etched with pain again. He quickly crossed the room over to you, sliding across the bed.

"Hey, tell me what's up. What happened?"

You look back at him tearfully and his heart squeezed painfully. What had happened to you?

Your shy but hesitant approach to answer that it was indeed periods confirmed his suspicions. 

"Would you like a hot bag?"

"What for?"

He hated how everything about your past life was released to him in the most pitiful way. Having a sister and a mother had made him knowledgeable on the subject of periods. He was not shy about this at all.

Calling out a quick five minutes, he runs to his room, changes into his pajamas and rummages through the apartment  whipping up the ultimate care package for you.

He comes back to see you crying real tears, rubbing your stomach with much aggression causing him to watch in sorrow. 

With gentle trepidation he lifts your shirt up, eyes never leaving your pinched face, placing the hot bag right on your tummy , visibly seeing your brows relax. 

"Minnie?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you, could y- umm"

"What is it love?" All this time and you were still shy around him? For what?

You were clenching your eyes, a rosy blush on your cheeks.

"Oi?"

"W-when you placed the bag on my stomach, your hands, they felt nice."

Now it was his turn to blush. 

Yeah he had big hands compared to yours, and they were warm. His previous girlfriends had talked about how soothing his hands were. Very slowly, he reached out to your tummy, unsure about looking into your eyes and began to massage your abdomen.

Very slowly, he watched your eyes flutter shut, dulcified by his gentle touch.

~~~~~~~~~

"Can you tell me a little about your childhood?"

Now where did that come from? It was unchartered territory to trespass into each other's past. 

You hadn't left the house the past few days due to periods and he tried his best to nurse you back to health. He'd never seen periods this intense, you puked every meal up, fainting in the washroom and kitchen scaring him enough to call his mother, who gave him detailed instructions to take care of you.

You dismissed his overly concerns claiming this was the usual for you. How many years had you endured hunger and homelessness bleeding around clutching your stomach in relentless pain?

Today, you had timidly knocked on his bedroom door, carrying snacks and drinks, and asking if he had some free time to spend with you. Little did you know.

He had built a blanket fort in the living room, just like his Appa used to when they were kids, using every throw pillow in the house and draping it with comforters and fluffy blankets. Your eyes lit up.

Nestled among the pillows and surrounded by delicious snacks, he began sharing more stories from his childhood. He watched, captivated, as your eyes followed every word, your giggles and comments adding to the warmth of the moment.

He definitely exaggerated to get a bigger rise from you but could you blame him. Who wouldn't love to hear your little chuckles?

Unbeknownst  to you, sleep had captured you quick enough and soon enough, you were draped across his torso, snoring soundly, He held you tight to him, his heart echoing the battlefield in his mind.

~~~~~~~

As they say the truth does come to light. He can't hide behind his movie dates, the roller skating rink date, the arcade date or the sushi date as mere excuses to introduce you to his world. You have to know that he feels something for you.

It's revealed in a non-climatic manner. You walk into the house one fine morning, after your nightly escapade , surprised to see a slender man perched on the couch expectantly awaiting your arrival.

Yoon Jeonghan. That's who he revealed himself as. You've heard many a story of 'Hannie hyung' but never imagined the same man who was loved so dearly by Seokmin would be sending you a death glare right now.

~~~~~~~

"All I am saying is, this has to stop before it gets too deep."

It's been a half an hour conversation and Minnie was still nowhere in sight. You were beginning to think his 'date with the manager' was a lie. Jeonghan looked devious enough to cook up some shit.

"But he told me that these were all friendly dates."

He gave you good once over. 

"You look like a smart girl. Don't play dumb. Why would a man like Seokmin go out of his way to be this good to a girl he's met once? 

Your heart? Your kindness? You did nothing good for him to show you grace.  An arcade date? A roller skating rink? Why would anyone take you to a roller skating rink in this century? A pet cafe? He's allergic to cats! Be serious. He's in love with you."

Every word he said drew an arrow right into your heart, splitting it open. Seokmin cannot be in love with you. It's not true. Surely not you!

~~~~~~~~~~

Something was up with you. He couldn't quite  place a finger on it. But between the constant dismissals and obvious fake lies, he needed to catch up on what was causing your sudden avoidance. It's like you'd gone three steps back in their now blossoming relationship. You who had finally begun growing out of your shell had gone back to being timid around him.

And so he staged an intervention. Fists curled up against the recliner, you looked anywhere but at him as he interrogated you.

He's tried all tactics and now reached his wits end. You refuse to speak. Gentle coaxing, teasing comments, even staged a whole dramatic fake cry to get you to open up to him. To no such luck.

You kept calling out 'Tentacles' to change the subject but he said by the veto power vested in him, he was overruling your appeal. Don't ask him too much about that. 

"Oi, just tell me. Come on love, we can solve it together."

"Why did you buy food for me?"

He didn't expect that.

"Why did you buy me that dress? Or the watch or the phone or the new pair of shoes? It's not a need now. Why did you do that?"

“And those movie dates. We could always sit here and watch it on your TV. Why did you take me to a pet cafe if you were allergic to cats?

He took a deep breath. 

"You really wanna know?"

Alright here he goes.

"I lo-"

"I am leaving." You jump up from the sofa, running to your room.

His heart is bursting at the seams, aching to confess his feelings to you. He knows nothing is holding him back except for your restraint, but he's determined to overcome that.

'It's too late, Oi. I tried so hard not to fall in love with you, but it's impossible.'

You had already reached the room, but he followed you in.

“I have seen parts of you that you never show out.” “You saw nothing.” He carried on not minding your interruptions, he’s got nothing to lose now.

“I have seen how you give everything you have to someone who’s a little less fortunate. Mingi from the streets, I saw him the other day. He came to thank me for funding his son’s education. Except I never did. You used up all the money you had saved up to spend on a young boy? 

You have next to nothing but you count your blessings well. I have often wondered why you wear nothing more than the same to pairs of outfits when you’d been gifted so much. 

You gave that all away to Hyori ahjumma’s granddaughter. She tattled on you when I went for a late night snack. Everything that is above your dire need is a liability and everything that is a gift is so well secured in your heart, the candy wrapper has seen no better  days than being pressed against your journal. You left it open one day. You are too kind to anyone, you don’t need a reason to, and you expect nothing back. Loving you has healed apart of me- "

"You are out of your mind. You do not love me."

"Please don't tell what I am feeling is not real. Dont rid me of that privilege"

"Well then, you are making a mistake, Seokmin. A grave mistake. Boys like you deserve better than someone like me.

You know if you were to die tomorrow, the whole world would know about it. social media will blow up around the world, fans will be  flocking around this very apartment, grieving your absence and your family will be left in shambles Minnie.

But if I die-."

You began to laugh low.

"If I die, not a mosquito will show up. They won't know I am gone. The hospital will give up my body to be buried but I don't have a plot saved up to lay for eternity, so there I will remain discarded as a carcass. Probably sold to science. This sounds dramatic but I have thought a lot about this you know. That's how worthless I am. In your world of glitz and glam and prosperous family life, I don't fit in. 

You loving me? It's a choice. A choice you have to throw out."

"I won't."

Well then, I am leaving. I am sorry Min, I can't do this. You will get over this. If I stay, I am causing you to make the biggest mistake of your life.

And taking the bag you had packed in a hurry you left the room, and soon the apartment but never his heart. 

His heart kept echoing the beats to the battlefield in his mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been six months now. He went through the five stages of grief in quick succession.

Denial: He banished any thoughts put in by his members that you had actually left, still eagerly waiting for you every night during the initial days. He had tried Cluckingham Bay but Jooheon the security hadn't seen any trace of you after you moved in with him. With no legal name or phone number, it was impossible to track you down.

Anger: He went back to drinking his woes away, not minding the shit talking the members did against you. Why try defending you when you never cared about him?

Bargaining: Regret seeped through the pores and his mind would replay back to that awful night. What if he had not confessed. Would you still have stayed? Would you have opened up too? Had he been too rash?

Depression: He found comfort within his home. In the couch you nestled upon, on the bed you rested your cheeks against, in the kitchen you had both cooked pancakes together. Nothing appealed to him to leave his house where he cooped up and wallowed in his misery.

Acceptance: He finally came to the sinking realization that you were never coming back. His worst fears have come to life. You were gone for far too long, out of sight but never out of mind .

But no matter what he tried, he couldn’t bring himself to step inside your room.

~~~~~~~~~~

The days leading up to 'Caratland' had him work up a frenzy. All he ever wanted to do was entertain his fans. But between the tight schedules that caused him to travel between multiple countries, the shoulder ache that kept flaring up and him missing you terribly, he was irritable.

Him crying was unexpected even for him. He knew his fans meant no wrong in booing, they were only teasing him but somewhere deep down, he had been casually hurt.

He couldn't go on like this, grieving a young girl who he was head over heels for. When does the pain subside? When will the tightness in his chest go away? When will the pillow know longer have to endure his tears?

Where were you? Did you die? He realized with a grieving heart that he would indeed never know if you were dead. You were right. Who did you have?

He came home heavy hearted with only one need- to sleep and never wake up.

He comes home to see you sitting there by the front door, hands on your knees, your head heavily resting against the door, your curls cut to chin level framing your cute face, makeup set in place,  freckles back with rosy lips adorning you.

Is this a dream? Was it really you? 

It had truly been too long.

~~~~~~~~~

TW: Grotesque murder talks. Child Abuse. “When I was four, Appa didn’t wake up to send me to school one day. I was confused. That never happens to him. He’s the one to send me off with a hug and a scrumptious packed meal. Thinking nothing of it, I gave him a kiss and went to school. I come home and he's still sleeping. His girlfriend told me he’s ‘tired after taking care of me’.

Worried I was causing him so much stress, I lay next to him , hugged him and went back to sleep. The next day, still no sign of him awaking. His girlfriend refused to budge when I told her we needed to take him to Dr Kim. Three days. Three whole nights I lay with a corpse that was my dad, hugging him to sleep every night and kissing him in the morning. It was my teacher, confused at my gloominess, who had a talk with me alone and called the cops. I had no idea my father was murdered Minnie. For years, I was in the system. I was the youngest orphan out there every year. Do you know how screwed up the system is? You are sent to foster homes, they don’t want you. They want the money the government provided them to take care of you. Except they never take care of you. They stamp on your knuckles if you ask for extras and laugh at you if you demand something. Being adopted would remove all rights for financial compensation so they enjoyed the money, discarded me. At seventeen I ran away. No home, no family and no dreams. Humanity is a joke. I’ve never known a mother’s love, never felt a hug in so long, never experienced kindness at the cost of doing a good deed just because one can. Good things never happen to people like me. We don’t get a chance at love because we are taught we never deserved it. My Appa’s girlfriend once told me, girls who kill their mothers in their womb, deserve no kindness. I was taught that having periods is God’s punishment to me every month, I should bleed to death. Seeing your family show me so much grace has made me feel out of place. For nine months I was there, in Ilsang volunteering at an orphanage. They adopted the last baby there. No more children. A lovely couple took little Eunha in, showing so much compassion to a child with cerebral palsy. 

And then I wondered. When will I get my chance? Do I not deserve good things too? What wrong did I do that my mother died during childbirth and my father was murdered. I deserve none of this self hate. I– I want to know what it is to love. To be loved. And then I thought of you Minnie. You showed me what it is to love someone unconditionally, expecting nothing back. You had no hidden malice. You listened when I vented, offered me solace when I cried and hugged me when I felt lonely. Your mother had no reason to be nice to a stray kid like me, but here she was, making me feel at home. Your noona’s monthly presents to me, your Appa’s kind jokes, your brother in law’s wit, you all took me in. You loved me purely didn’t you? A-and I never thought too much about it but the past few days I have been missing you more than I have allowed myself to feel. I watched Caratland today and I had the wrath to come and thwack each of those Carats who booed at you. I thought, ‘he’s going to come home and cry isn’t he?’ and suddenly, I wanted to be here. I need to be here. I want to be your person. The one you come crying to. Your safe space. You showed me unconditional love and I want to give it right back. To the boy who fed me chicken, housed me and loved me. T-this never happens to me. I never get too attached. But with you, it’s impossible . You are the sun and I orbit around you. So here I am .Asking you for one more chance. To take me in, should you give me the chance. This time, I will stay. I have no reason to run. You had me glued from the first go. I love you Seokmin” “Love I-” “L/N Y/N’”. “Huh?” “It’s Y/N. I figured if we are going to do this, we start the right way. I am Y/N. I don’t want to hide that from you.” You extend an arm out. He caught on to it in a firm grasp, shaking it. “Well Y/Nie I reckon we get into the house first shall we? And then we watch some shit show over a bucket of fried chicken and sleep on it. We have the rest of our lives to talk more don’t we? ” “And by the way Y/N, I love you. Never stopped. You make it impossible not to.” An arm around your back, he whisks you away to his apartment. BONUS

So you remember I once asked and you said you’d never been kissed before? “ I never said anything. Technically” “Yeah not with your mouth but your eyes did the talking.” You were beginning to blush now, nervously cracking your knuckles. “I wanted to change that. Figured we should start somewhere. I am all puckered up now, come here doll gimme some lovin, where my kiss at.” He sent a sleazy wink at you causing you to glare at him in faux disgust. He laughed outright, head thrown back. He loved putting you at ease with jokes like this. “Come here,” he patted his lap. You stood awkwardly in front of him, still unsure how to sit properly. Caressing your back, he slid an arm around, trapping you against his chest.

“Now, do you want to be taught how to kiss?”

A feeble nod. “Yes? Kay, go ahead. Kiss me.” “W-whaat? Just like that?” “Hey, it’s okay, it’s just me . What are you so worried about? I won’t laugh.”

You leaned in, giving him a hesitant smooch on the lips. He started laughing. “You just said you won’t laugh.”

You were indignant, beginning to get up, but he pinned you down. “No wait, I am sorry. Sorry. It’s just that it was so stingy.” “Yeah well, not everyone has experience like you.” “My first kiss ended with me throwing up because the girl had tuna breath. She broke up with me that instant.” “Oh.” “Yeah oh, not every first kiss is perfect. I just want you to take the reins. We do this at your pace. Here, you tell me where do you want to place your hands?” You flitted it through his belt loops gaping at him with round eyes. He had to stifle a laugh. Did you know how adorable you were?

‘Well okay, if that’s what you want. And I will,- yeah I will hold you like this.” He cupped your cheeks, stroking his thumb against your mole. You had closed your eyes, expectantly waiting for a magical moment and he wanted to give it to you but also- He blew into your mouth. Your eyes turned into slits glaring at him with mock anger, causing his giggles to grow louder.

It’s fun teasing you like this.

“If you are not going to mmmff-” He interrupted your sharp chide with a deep kiss, cupping your cheek and pulling you in. Your small gasp was not unheard and he drew you impossibly closer, hands gliding to your ponytail that was holding your short hair back, tugging on the scrunchie, letting his fingers weave through your curls.

You had grown pliant and he took advantage of it, it’s not often he gets you like this, and he planned to take full advantage of this, palm cupping the crown of your head , lulled by your small pants.

The first time he saw you, his heart raced. The next time he saw you his heart stopped. Now every time he has you, his heart echoes the loud clanging in his mind- the sounds of a battlefield. 

TAGLIST @skzbangchanniee , @begentlewithme-please , @ateez-atiny380 , @yuumemiii1. Comment below if you want to be added to the taglist for future fics.

Comment if you like, reblog with thoughts so I get to see what you think. Slide into my dm's, I'd love to chat!

Mandatory Ginger!Kyeom Appreciation Post Inside Seventeen ⁕ Music Bank 201030  

S.COUPS and DOKYEOM for Allure Korea

DK (weverse live) - 231120

CARATS! HELP!

I'm looking for a video of DK spinning his head around while singing to show his vocal stability. At least I'm pretty sure it's DK

!!!CARATS HELP!!!

I'm looking for someone who is going to an upcoming show that I can Venmo/cashapp to purchase and mail me a Be The Sun crop top as I unfortunately left mine in Chicago :(((

Please DM me if you're interested, deadly serious lol

I would die for all of them 🥺

vernon literally said equal rights 🏳️‍🌈

seventeen vs. seventeen

Day 3 (19/11/23)🌟

hey! today it was a good day and i was able to appreciate even the little things. i woke up early and i completed my skincare routine🧚‍♀️

i also:

did some housework🧹

called my family and talked to one of my little sisters who was making cookies👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

went grocery shopping🍎

went for a walk by the sea🌊

uni things

i didn't study infectious diseases today because I will dedicate the whole next week to it. also i'm so happy to do my internship in pediatrics and tomorrow i'll see the kids again and i'll discuss with the professor about my thesis there. i don't know if i'll be able to become a pediatrician in the future but at the momente it is my only source of motivation, maybe i can do it 🩺

Language things

MANDARIN CHINESE: i continued with my Superchinese app lesson. today I've learned some vocab about simple activities (书，看，电影，做) and the grammar 想 whic means want to. my writing is still bad but ill try to improve it 🇨🇳

KOREAN: the clip from the seventeen's blog in Budapest seems endless lol. jokes aside, i focused on the various forms of 것 같다 (present, past and future tenses) and I practiced them with my own example sentences. also I found out new usages of the verb 보다 to express past experiences and to recommend to try something. I also found out how to say i burned my tongue while i was tasting the food (literally what happened to me yesterday !!) 맛을 보다가 혀를 데었어요. I share my really disorganized notes but I like them in that way🇰🇷

i didn't practice any japanese today, i just played some game of shiritori and kanji quiz on the renshuu app 🇯🇵

now im going to shower and semi-dress up to go out with my friend, it was a good day!

song of the day

my love mine all mine - mitski (again)

i don't understand but I love you - seventeen

dk ✸ good offer ep. 1

There wasn't a single day when I wasn't sincere with you.

* gn!reader is shorter than seokmin

seokmin leaned with his shoulder on the wall as he waited for you and your best friend to finish your talk. seungkwan had just returned from studying abroad and it would have been a big lie if you said you hadn't missed him the least. the past few days had consisted of you catching up with your friend and hanging out, which seokmin had nothing against until one time became a second and a second the third, telling himself that you would always be with him usually and that it was only fair for you to spend more time with your best friend.

though, as understanding as seokmin could be, he had a clear limit, because best friend or not, he was your boyfriend and he missed you although he could see you whenever he wanted. but he didn't want to be like that to you, so he had always been patient and let you do you. however now, your dear seungkwan was making it very hard for the boy to keep his cool. to say the least, the jealousy was boiling all the way to his neck and he was sure that people could see the steam fuming from his ears as he watched seungkwan do little things like punching your shoulder lightly or take hold of your hand.

it was when seungkwan brought his hand to your head, ruffling your hair affectionately like the old days that seokmin left the wall he was leaning on and stormed towards you, “oh no boo, not today.” he cursed under his breath, a stormy cloud following him from above of his head.

a surprised noise left your throat when he suddenly grabbed your wrist and dragged you away from the very much confused seungkwan. as soon as you had turned around the corner, you slit your wrist out of his hold.

“what is wrong with you?” you hissed, sending him a disappointed look, but he didn't waver, the angry glare was plastered on his face, barely keeping up with the strong feeling burning in his chest. you being you, you had no trouble reading through his expression, a sigh left your lips.

“are you jealous?” you prompted and seokmin scoffed, looking away from you. the indifference made you chuckle, teasingly you poked his arm.

“come on min, just say it.” your teasing seemed to have ticked off the little that he had left of his self-control and suddenly exploded, his pupils gone wild as his hand ruffled his black curls frustratedly.

“yes! yes! i am so jealous, so jealous and mad because he's keeping you away from me and i am your boyfriend, and you're mine and only i have the right to spend so much time with you–” all of his bottled emotions were spilling out like a waterfall while you watched him with lips slightly agape. seokmin wouldn't say such possessive things, he didn't have it in him, but this time, he had let seungkwan get to him too much than necessary.

you ended up silencing him with your palms squeezing his cheeks together, making his lips stick out funnily as they mushed against each other.

“seokmin,” you called, your voice a calm and mere whisper that would help him calm down his frantic heart. his breathing became slower and the way his orbs dilated when he looked at you properly made your heart squirm.

“you shouldn't be jealous of seungkwan, he's my best friend and he's very important to me, but that's all he'll ever be. you're my boyfriend and my feelings for you will always be deeper, they keep growing every day. but i need you to trust me.”

“i do trust you,” he protested quickly, he sighed when your hold on his cheeks loosened up casting his gaze almost shamefully downwards, lashes kissing his soft cheeks. “i'm sorry– i'm, i've been feeling so selfish lately, like i want you all to myself and it's driving me crazy,” seokmin explained, his voice a fragile murmur, embarrassed by the fact that he had become that way.

you felt your heart melt into a puddle at his words, and the smile that grew on your lips was just the sweetest you had ever mustered.

“it's okay seokmin, i also want you all to myself,” you cooed, letting go of his face so that you could circle your arms around his neck. it wasn't a lie, seokmin wasn't always aware, but there were always so many people buzzing around him like bees to honey and in those times, you'd feel the exact same.

“really?” he gasped, the frown had smoothed away from his features and the disbelief on his face reminded you of a sad puppy.

you stood on your tippy-toes to press a lingering kiss on his lips, “of course,” you smiled. the relief that washed over him was obvious and he gladly responded to your embrace, hugging your waist with his arms, pushing your back slightly against the wall. seokmin had leaned his face incredibly close to yours, letting his mouth brush against your lips as he spoke breathily.

“then you won't mind if i keep you for the rest of the day,” the glint of mischievousness in his whisper made you bit your lips to suppress the excited smile, though that didn't go unnoticed by the boy as he placed his soft cushions on yours, his lips tugging your own out of the grip of your teeth, so that he could take your breath away with a kiss.

Hello~

Hiya! My names Mei or Jxnko (Janko), I’m a new seventeen writer. Well, not entirely new, I used to write on wattpad a long time ago, but that’s in the past. Since it’s summer break I’ve decided to start some light writing about my favourite people!

Here are some things about me:

I’m 5′3″

I’m a pacific islander

I’ve been a Carat since the Pretty U era

My Ult is Woozi

My Biases for each unit are Woozi, Wonwoo, and Minghao

{you should also follow me on Instagram @cosmonaut.cowboy although it’s not a fanpage  (●´ω｀●)}

Asks and request

I’m taking em all of em, anything you gots I’ll try my very best to answer or write. I’m having a very big boredom phase and I need stuff to keep me going bbys.

Bus

Type: Fluff

{Seokmin attempts to introduce you to his friends}

 Here you are outside the restaurant about to book it to the nearest bus stop. At first, when Seokmin said he’d introduce you to his friends you thought it would be a great opportunity to get to know him better but at the moment you were a bundle of nerves.

  You guys had started dating about a month ago after he asked for your number in a philosophy lecture. He was handsome and he had kind eyes and a blinding smile, of course, you texted him as soon as possible. 

  Now here you are outside a barbeque restaurant after saying you were “going to the bathroom”. You were so anxious you couldn’t stay in that place a second longer, you made a skillful escape while everyone was talking. I mean how couldn’t you be anxious, they were his friends for years, you’ve only just met him. Part of the nervousness was set in the fact that they weren’t all male, there were a few female colleagues who you thought were absolutely stunning. You saw how happy he was, it made you smile. Suddenly he caught your gaze, very confused he said something and came outside.

“Fancy seeing you here ma’am, this isn’t the ladies room if I recall.”

“I’m sorry, I’m really nervous, I know it’s really stupid but I just wanna go home. I’m sorry Seok...”

“Why? Did someone say something? I swear if Jeong-”

“No one did anything Seok, I just- this is all very new. And I mean your friends are so pretty and I’m not jealous, I think? I felt out of place...”

“Ok and just so you know you were the prettiest babe” he said as he calmly took out his phone, it made you blush.

He grabbed your hand and you guys walked to the nearest rest stop which was only a block away.

“I texted Jeonghyun that were leaving because you felt sick” he said as the last bus of the night stopped before you two. 

He tugged your hand as you two sat down, the only ones on the bus beside you guys were the bus driver and a few middle schoolers who were probably on their way home from cram school.

He put his hand over your shoulder. “I met you on a bus...” he spoke quietly.

“No, you didn’t. We met at that one lecture.”

“You met me there. But I clearly remember you a few days before that, you were sat on the bus and smiled like an idiot as you put your headphones in. At that moment I thought that I wanted to make you smile like that everyda-”

“Pphffffff” you slowly slapped his face as he finished making him chuckle and you smiled.

“It’s true! See that smile? That’s the one! The one I love to see when I wake up and kiss you awake.”

“You idiot..” you laughed as you rested your head on his shoulder as you dozed off. Your hands intertwining and lights quickly passing by.

(Sorry this took so long! It’s not that great but I hope you like it! Dedicated too @koukami80)