Fuck God - Tumblr Posts
I never believed in God and no amount of times being forced into going to church changed it
Saying it's just a phase feels like a rough attemp to nullify all the disbeliefs I always had
do you know what I actually believed? If I disobeyed I'd be punished and something bad would happen with me. It's FAR different from believing in God and even still it has lots of correlation with childhood traumas
goddamn, sometimes I hate Twitter so much
The truth
Most of my life
The majority
The public visage
And the internal prayer
Has been a lie.
I can't explain it.
Even for me
I was never able to see.
I live
I acted
I instigated.
Everything I have done
Has been to blend in.
I hate the world.
Not the people
But the system.
The system that I felt bound to
And had me grow up
As some one I am not.
I want my years back.
I want my life back!
All I have are the days before me
And the day I am currently owning.
All I want is to be me.
To be free of the bullshit life he as given me.
I do not want to be someone else
I do not want to be perfect in the eyes of the Lord.
I belong to my own soul
And if God cannot except this
Then fuck God
For God is smaller than me.
I will be damned before I lie!
Before I pretend to
be someone else.
I should say
Continue to pretend
As my life has been a charade
Meant even to deceive me.
Argue
Hate
Damn
I do not give a fuck.
Be what ever life I wish
It doesn't matter to me.
However
You will not be my lord.
You will not be my God.
I live
I breath
And either you damned me from the start
Or you are just as guilt as me.
I am angry
I am sorry
I am filled with unrequited rage!
I bleed tears
I deluge hurt
I am tired of dying
I want to live for once!
Who are you to damn me?
What gives you the right?
Did you even create me?
Have I not written
That I am you?
Are we then to submit
One to the other?
If I am damned then so are you.
If I am saved
Then you are going with me.
Mutually assured destruction;
Salvation is us both.
I will be me
Will you admit to your own soul?
I am tired of trying to make sense of it
I am tired of feeling guilt.
I am who I am
And you are nothing to me.
No one will be my god
No one but me.
I am alive
And I pray
Who answers these prayers
Is between me and them...
This is bloody brilliant!!
Ok!! >:) So, this idea is way more crack!
If you’re comfortable with it: the bros walking in on mc singing to Thank God by Sasha Sloan. (>‿<)
Take your time, please!!
Thank God for Devildom
✎ Demon brother x Reader, Dateables x Reader
✎ The school festival was coming to an end, your eyes stared at the crowd in front of you, “I want to thank God for giving me this chance.. ”
✎ Tags: fluff, crack
: ̗̀➛ Manger’s/Author’s note: How about I do you a solid and have the dateables join in as well!
The crowd was rowdy. Cheers for the student council and exchange students involved in the play echoed as one by one, each of them walked off stage. Yet you stood in your place, your feet only dragging themselves to the middle of the stage. Whispers of curiosity lingered below the platform, sweat dripping from your sides like waterfalls.
“Thank you all for coming, before we end the school festival for this year, I would like to give a little message.” The hushed muttering grew louder, your warm palms gripped tighter around the mic’s handle. “I want to thank God for giving me this opportunity to stay in Devildom, spend my days with all of you.. and on behalf of the exchange students.. thank you all.. ”
“What are they talking about?” Mammon quietly questioned as he squirmed in the VIP seats in the front row of the theater. “Like you would know anything, demon-” Luke hissed, head turning back to the stage, giving you his full attention, making Simeon chuckled at the angel’s actions.
Slowly and calming guitar melody flooded the room, sealed lips ajar, breathing in before singing...
Yeah, I'll admit I've had sex before marriage I've smoked hella weed And then I shared it
Asmo’s eyes dilated, his flattened lips turned into a soft chaotic crackle, his arm warping and his hand gripping his side, the piercing feeling of his diaphragm hurting his stomach. Lucifer’s head snaps towards the ruckus, crimson irises digging into the chuckling demon’s soul, making Asmo fan his hand towards the avatar that he’ll stop in just a minute.
Yeah, I confess I've scrolled through Pornhub I've had impure thoughts And acted upon them
Gargling chokes erupted from Mammon’s throat, his half-drunk bottle now crushed under the weight of his clutches. Red flushed his cheeks as he inflated them to prevent himself from losing his cool and to not get his ass whooped by Lucifer, who was staring daggers at him from across the seats. Some audience members were also laughing up storms, trying their hardest to not die so early in the song.
So if the pearly gates Won't open up for me At least I know There's somewhere else I can go
Luke’s eyes darted around, noticing all the demons that were holding their breaths. His head turned towards the taller angel beside him, tilting it a little to signal his confusion. Simeon sweats, softly shaking his head, index finger pointing back up at the stage, which Luke happily obliged with starry eyes.
Thank God...
The smile on Luke’s adorable face grew brighter, joy swirling up inside him knowing that you were singing about Celestial Realm. Simeon who was listening attentively along was also plastering a grinning smile, his heart flooded with happiness, your acknowledgement on the higher realm was such a blessing in his mind.
Thank God for making a Hell Thank God for making a place full of fire And greedy-ass liars Where I'm just like everyone else Thank God for Hell
You swear when you glanced at the crowd, Luke’s bugged-eyed face made you want to crumble. A disappointed yet knowing smirk was all that Simeon could muster, his heart sinking a little, knowing there was always a twist to it. Diavolo gasped, before a chuckle escaped from him, the special mention of Devildom melting his already in-awed heart. Barbatos, beside him, also cracked a smile, index and thumb at his chin as he hummed at the humor.
Yeah, I'll admit My mind's a bit dirty Only go to church If somebody's forced me
Satan coughed a little, his cheeks tainted in red, the embarrassing things you had said setting inside his brain, they were awkward yet they left a grin on his face. Belphie, who was laying on Beel’s shoulder, was humming the melody, eyes fluttering every now and then to stare at you through the half lidded darkness. The Avatar of Gluttony, hands filled with treats that Luke had baked for their hard work, head bopping slightly, enough to not wake up his twin taking a rest beside him.
Yeah, I confess I say some bad words And I haven't yet, but I bet I'll get a divorce
Lucifer huffs, the creeping smile lingers in him, the calm voice yet the sinful lyrics spilling from you making his heart feel afloat, they way you made Diavolo flash his fangs in joy making his day. Levi, a few seats beside him, D.D.D in hand, his features burning so hot that lava doesn’t even compare to it. Pulse skipping beats as your harmonic tones swirled his mind, not even giving the words you were slipping a second thought.
So if the pearly gates Won't open up for me Fuck 'em
“Sing along with me, Devildom!” You shouted, hyping up the crowd who were now chiming alongside you. Heads swaying to the beat, their voices echoing the hall. Solomon giggled to himself, arms cross as he sank in his seat, the cushion enveloping his body as he stared at your movements, enthusiastic yet graceful and elegant, beautifully sang tunes yet shocking lyrics ringing in his ears.
Thank God! Thank God for knowing me well Thank God for making a place I can smoke And tell fucked up jokes Eternally just be myself
Guitar fades over time, the song coming to an end, the sounds of claps raising, your face squished into a bright smile, tears sprinkled the corners of your closed lids. You took a bow, head tilting up a little to meet eyes with the council, they yells of pure bliss sinking into your heart.
Thank God for Devildom
I would die. I would have totally lost myself. I’m so grateful my family was with me in deconstructing
Shout out to all my ex christians that still have to go church because family member, ya’ll are real troopers.
Welcome to my scrupulosity
Where god can do whatever he wants and to pray against any of it is to reject the will of god which is a sin and is selfish which is a sin and is fearful which is also a sin and is prideful to think I could ever have anything other than whatever god decides for me whatever that is and that’s also a sin and so much sin in infinite layers and unknown hidden corners of my heart and mind that even I don’t know and only the spirit of god knows so I must continually pray to expose every facet of my divide deceitful heart so that I can see my sin which god is waiting for me to be willing to see and I’m never willing enough which is also a sin
But oh my god aren’t I so spiritual, so holy, so earnest, always in prayer, gifted with discernment and words of wisdom and words of knowledge and prophecy and what’s that? I should be leading and teaching and speaking and shepherding others
Hey-o religious trauma is real and Christianity reinforces trauma and rewards your coping mechanisms which perpetuates the trauma.
Do you know how you cope with the cognitive dissonance of believing a good god can kill you at any time in any way because you deserve it and it’s his will and would be loving? You disappear. You “die to yourself”, aka dissociate. You cease to exist except in an animated body rehearsing the speech and behavior of theological dogma.
In actuality, your morals are the choices you make based on your values, derived from your ethics. If you lose your belief in god and decide human catastrophe and suffering is funny and something to be celebrated, that’s a you problem and even with a practicing belief in god, you will gravitate toward theology that still reflects those values, as the artist did.
We don’t have to think this way or see things that way. We don’t have to believe that humans are irreparably flawed For Some Reason. We can select different beliefs based on different criteria we choose to highlight and emphasize, and live accordingly.
ok i had to go read minna sundberg's christian coming-to-faith comic and this is literally a flaming trainwreck. like i don't think there's been a single scene so far where i wasn't like ''okay this is literally insane i think you need therapy"
Scrupulosity nearly killed me—the belief that my inner world was being constantly surveilled by god, and that every emotion and thought was a potential sin if there was even a hint of it not being worship, not being complete dissociative submission, the thought or feeling wasn’t pure,
Christianity not only exacerbated childhood trauma but then rewarded my reaction to it: die to self, be a nothing who only exists to be a conduit for god, which requires constant inner prayer, endlessly asking god to search my heart and reveal any sin, to forgive me for things I didn’t yet know but he surely did, to forgive me for needing to be patient with me.
And wow did that kind of inward examination and devotion to prayer skyrocket me into leadership—“you’re so faithful, you are so in tune with god, you are such an example.”
I nearly literally died because I refused to take care of myself, in fear that going to a therapist or a doctor was not trusting that god was capable, or that God’s will was to not heal me and I was going against that—
the cycle of not trusting feelings and thoughts, or my own body, never knowing if this was god testing me to build character, to build perseverance, to develop hope…isn’t that godly? Isn’t that holy? Isn’t that sanctification? Why would I ever pray against god doing that in me by asking for healing? Why would I ever reject his will for me to experience those things by going to a doctor?
“Wow, you have such tremendous faith!”
I truly think the bible has many harmful/unhealthy teachings. People will try to deflect and say only when it’s twisted by abusive people or taught “wrong.” But no, I think it has harmful teachings at its very core. As an example:
When certain emotions are labeled as bad/evil/a flaw or something you just “shouldn’t do” it prevents many people from being able to process emotions healthily. See Ecc 7:9, Ecc 11:10, Col 3:8, Phil 4:6, James 3:16 as a few examples. I went through my life as a christian never really fully processing anything, and I was so emotionally unhealthy. Instead of viewing emotions as neutral signals from my body and sitting with them and letting them move through my body, I would read the thought terminating cliches of “don’t be anxious give it to god” or pray about it and continue to be disconnected from my body. I would feel shame when experiencing normal feelings of jealousy, anger, anxiety and feel like I was spiritually failing. That shame would cause me to continue to suppress those feelings instead of hearing and processing them, and it could cause it to come out in dysfunctional ways. And I see this in hundreds of people who are Christians in my life.
Being the Antichrist would really blow. Imagine living your whole life with people constantly comparing you to Jesus, and wondering if you’ll ever equal what he did, and expecting you to basically be the evil version of him. Like what if being Satan’s child isn’t what you want to define you in life? What if you want to go your own way and not be evil like everyone expects you to be? Hell, even the name is based off Jesus. Surely being the spawn of the devil at least warrants a cool nickname