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🪐 — LUCIUS SPRIGGS  for  izzy !

the admission catches him by surprise,   leaving him entirely stunned for a good few seconds.  for a moment he is even tempted to ask izzy who he is and what he has done with their resident feral first mate,  but well..  lucius hardly wants to ruin this,  whatever this is shaping up to be,  so he holds his tongue,  allowing his expression to actually soften.  they had their rocky moments,  for sure,  and lucius has all but forgotten cutting himself on izzy’s sharp edges not too long ago at all.  still,  there is no metaphorical blood spilled between them now.  izzy doesn’t shove past him,  doesn’t lash out,  either  —  he gives him very much needed directions,  instead,  instructing lucius on what he wishes him to do.  so that’s really nice.  it also makes lucius finally stop over thinking each stupid intake of breath.  that’s great too,  helps him feel less like he is trying to kiss a wild animal.  it’s definitely a learning curve from here,  but lucius is good at paying attention and pretty determined to not overstep any boundaries that might be set.  

‘  yeah?  okay,  yeah  —  i can do that.  ’   there is an actual smile on his lips at this point,  relieved and hopeful  (   foolishly maybe,  but a tiny bit proud,  too?  he seriously doubts izzy would have gotten there without a little push,  if anything else   ).  '  i don’t mind.  i wanted to touch you earlier,  actually,  i just.  wasn’t sure you would have wanted me to.  you,  um..  didn’t have the happiest reaction last time,  so.  ’   and who could blame lucius for hesitating,  seriously?  but anyway,  he has more urgent things to consider right this moment,  like following through on what lucius has asked him to do.  less talking and more doing.  he knows,  he knows.   '  i am going to  —  here.  is this okay?  ’   lucius pushes his hands up until one finds the back of izzy’s neck,  fingers brushing against his hair.  the other goes to his waist,  as he experimentally tugs the other man closer. 

      HE DOESN’T MISS THE HESITATION,  eyes following every moment — as well as the absence of it when lucius goes still at his request.  &  there is sense of panic that rises in izzy instantly, warning him that he’s asked too much, that there will be consequences for such an admission.  but then there’s a smile, a softening in his expression.  &  when lucius admits that he actually wanted to touch izzy, that leaves him breathless with shock.  for who would want to touch him, of all people  —  especially now that he is old  &  wounded  &  undesired by all, even the one man who had always been at his side ?  but there is no hesitation in the boy’s hands when they curl around him  &  pull him closer.  one even finds bare skin above his collar, cradles the back of his head in a way that’s confident, yet gentle.  &  the way he draws izzy in, it’s easy for him to believe that this is no joke, no trap.  that lucius actually does want him, too.                    ❝ yes, it’s — ❞  but izzy’s voice breaks off, unable to find the words. it’s overwhelming is what it is, to be so close to another man, the flush of heat beneath his black clothes spreading slowly up his throat  &  over his face.  but though izzy can’t entirely understand it, he also knows without doubt that he doesn’t want it to stop.  ❝ it’s fine.  it’s good, ❞  he decides at last.  &  in admitting it aloud, it’s like the resistance to his desires that he has been honing for decades frays thin, becomes weak enough for him to push through it  &  slot his lithe body against lucius’s larger one, hands pressed to his broad chest.  &  izzy tilts his face upward with the intention of making good on his request for another kiss,  finally allowing his eyes to rise to the other man’s.  &  he’s still a bit shocked to find there’s not a trace of disgust there, only his own desire mirrored back at him.  ❝ lucius, ❞  he says, the first name unfamiliar in his mouth. izzy had kissed him once already  —  but even he knew that he had been none too kind about it.  &  he wants to make up for his mistakes. wants to do it right this time.  his gaze falls to lucius’s lips again.  ❝ can i — ? ❞