Weak - Tumblr Posts
SO MANY PEOPLE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THIS! Everyone deserves respect, at least as a human being.
Asking for help does not make you weak or selfish.
"Eyes tremble
like a frightened dog
and veins freeze over
to expose blood slush.
Skin frail like worn jeans
hanging by threads.
Voice haggard with the
exhaustion of tension.
Body slinking like
a formless shadow
hiding from itself."
-EL
inktober day 15 weak
Inktober 15: "You've done quite enough, now have your rest”
inktober 15: weak
I get less and less time to do these, I had to do some corrections on a later date.
I cannot help but feel I have betrayed feminism, and all the strong women in my life. A better woman would have left. I am a disgrace.
Four years ago I was struggling with my mental health. I was having difficulty getting out of bed and going to work. This problem was compounded because I was running my own business at the time. In other words I wasn't really making any money because I wasn't making it out the door and didn't have anything like unemployment to fall back on.
This was unacceptable to him. I was being "stupid and lazy" and so I did what I thought I needed to do. I went to my doctor and told he i was struggling. She gave me a script.
I decided I should inform him before taking it; my doctor had advised that there were side effects that may affect him.
He flipped. He screamed that he had no interest in being with a psychologically inept woman . If I wanted to be a useless shell of a human being to at least get myself lobotomized and give him the satisfaction of having a slave.
He asked why I was so weak. Why I thought I could use a mental illness as an excuse for being useless. It was an insult to people with actual problems.
I got rid of the pills. And rejected the opportunity to get my head in order. I just sunk deeper into despair and hated myself for not being better.
I believed what he said about me. Just lazy and weak willed.
Every day I remind myself that I should mourn for the past I lost to him and not the future I think I’ve lost without him.
Inktober 2018 Day 15
“Weak”
These are more words than a drawing, but it’s something I think a great deal about. I find the whole concept that men don’t cry is bullshit and weak. If a person cries in front of you, I see that as a huge strength, as they are willingly showing a weakness to another person. That takes immense strength to do..... not to mention crying is a literal way to dump excess emotions in the form of chemicals from the body.
Who might this mysterious, hatted man be? ...Hopefully not the same person as the weakling over there.
Inktober Day 15 : Weak ! #inktober2018 #inktober #goblin #weak #lowlevel #art #myart #traditionalart https://www.instagram.com/p/Bo8-HvSnH1X/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1p6693h2mw83
*looking for work*
me: do i want to do that mailroom gig again? they’re looking for help!
also me: you have a master’s degree. a very expensive, you-are-in-so-much-debt-right-now grad degree. so use it.
me: but i need the money and it wasn’t soul-sucking like the post-grad retail gigs have been.
me: or the post-grad groundskeeping.
me: or the post-grad volunteering that is becoming unpaid full time labor with no benefits.
me: NO ONE ELSE IS CALLING ME BACK.
also me:
also me:
also me:
also me: there is no good answer here.
job hunting!!! so fun
"So much on my bucket list but sleeping forever is on top"
-rainandstrom
“Paralysis”
Acrylic on canvas
..
https://www.instagram.com/p/CSZ9jxYLLk8/?utm_medium=tumblr
"I Feel..."
"Like I need you beside me. That if I go one more day without you I'll fall into this bleak pit and never return. Sometimes it feels as though I'm already there. I feel like I never know happiness without you. That without you love would cease to exist. That I would cease to exist... I think I need you.... But I don't. I don't think I want you or need you. I have myself and that's all I need. I can find beauty and love and happiness Without looking to you. I can find peace and kindness in others without already having yours. I can reach to the ends of the earth with just my two arms. I can embrace the world and all its inhabitants by myself. I can fall in love with the unlovable and the unbelievable. I can do all this and more because I don't need you... But then again, It would be nice to share all this with You. That would be splendid, don't you think?"