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Just Pretend (BEOMGYU) CH5 - Favorite Color

"So, do you want to start on chapter five and I'll do chapter six?"

Me and Beomgyu sit alone in a corner of the library. It's fairly quiet where we're sitting, a snug corner filled with books.

"Yeah, then we'll start on the slideshow?"

"Sounds good!" He says.

We both open our textbooks and begin reading. It's silent, but a soft silence. The kind that's easy to fall into, forgetting how long it's been since someone spoke.

It's hard to think that someone who I'd only watched from afar is now my boyfriend. Even harder to remember it's only pretend.

However, I'm still proud of myself. All this time I've spent, closed-off, not connecting with anyone around me. Look at me now. I have a friend. And I think it might last this time. Even if I never tell him how I feel, having him here is enough.

I think back to what he said at prom: "I don't know if they'd like me if they really knew me." I wonder if no one's ever tried to get to know him. He has friends, but maybe he's never felt like those friends got to know the real him. Maybe he never let them. Maybe he's scared. Maybe I am too.

"Hey, Beomgyu," I start.

"Yeah?"

"What's your favorite color?"

He looks up from the textbook.

"Why do you ask that?" He questions.

"Just curious"

"Hmm" he pauses in thought, "pink"

I gasp, "pink? Really?"

"What's wrong with liking pink?" He grins.

"Nothing, it just surprised me. You only ever wear black"

I turn back to my book. It's true, he's always in dark colors. I figured that's what he liked, but apparently not. Such a bright color for someone so reserved. Like he's always trying to mask something.

"What's yours?"

"My favorite color?" He nods. "Yellow!"

He lights up, "wow, I figured your favorite color would be blue or something. Yellow isn't a common favorite, is it?"

"Not common, no," I reply, "but I like it. It doesn't try to make itself palatable for others. I respect that"

"I never thought of it that way," he said.

All of a sudden, Beomgyu's group of friends is walking up to us. I recognize Yeonjun, but the rest? I'm not sure.

"How's it going, you two?" Yeonjun asks.

I stay quiet. Beomgyu answers, "it's going well. What about you?"

"We haven't started yet," Soobin says.

They sit by us and we try to get back to our project. Their group is chattering on and on. Beomgyu lifts his head occasionally, but he mainly continues reading his chapter. Something Yeonjun says catches my attention:

"So she said one of her friends actually has a crush on Beomgyu"

Huening Kai jumps, "but he's dating Y/N?!"

"Well, they're not really dating, right?" Yeonjun turns to me.

My thoughts are racing, I guess there's nothing stopping Beomgyu from dating someone. Is it stupid to feel like we have something even though we only went to prom together?

"No, we aren't" I mutter.

"What do you think then, Beomgyu? Wanna give her a chance?"

I look to Beomgyu, but his smile has faded.

"Wether me and Y/N are actually dating or not, the rest of the school thinks we are. So, no. I'm not interested"

"I'm sure the school is not that invested," Taehyun states, "you can go on a date with someone else if you want"

"I'm not interested" Beomgyu repeats.

"Why not? Please, just give her a chance! What am I supposed to tell Minji, her friend will be so upset" Yeonjun insists.

"I've got a lot going on right now, I don't have time for something like that"

Soobin spoke, "like what?"

Beomgyu shuts the book closed, "I have a ton of schoolwork. No time for a girlfriend"

"That didn't stop you from going to prom with Y/N"

"That's different"

"How is it different?" Yeonjun commands, "honestly, I'm starting to think that you and Y/N are actually dating with how you're overreacting"

"I'm not overreacting," Beomgyu groans, "I'm just not interested. Why can't I say that? I'm allowed to not want to date your friend"

"Fine" Yeonjun says.

It goes quiet. Everyone is now doing their work, or at least staring at their laptops pretending to. Beomgyu taps me on the shoulder.

"Wanna go work somewhere else?" He whispers. I nod.

We stand and leave the library without a word to his friends. Silently, I follow him past the classrooms and out the doors. We find an area with few students. Sitting down on a bench underneath a large oak tree, I speak.

"I'm sorry. The whole fake dating thing is turning into a problem, isn't it? I can break it off, if you want. I don't want you to be fighting with your friends because of me"

"No, they're always like that" he says, bringing his knees to his chest.

"Really? It seemed like it was getting kind of..." I hesitate, "aggressive"

"They just-, don't listen to me. And will try to persuade me into doing stuff for them, or questioning stuff like why I don't want a girlfriend"

"Haven't you told them about your dad?"

"No" he states, "they wouldn't listen. If they did, it's not like they'd get it. Not like you would"

It makes me happy that he trusts me, though it shouldn't. He's talking about his problems with his friends. I add, "I'm okay if you want to date that girl. If you're worrying about my feelings, don't"

"I don't want to date her," he clarifies, "I'm not interested in dating right now. Everything in my life is already a mess, I don't need more... more things to feel like I'm messing up"

"Well, we've been pretend dating for a few days now, and you haven't messed anything up yet!" I joke.

He laughs, "you're funny"

"Oh, I know, Beomgyu."

Just Pretend (BEOMGYU) - Series Masterlist!

Here's all the chapters so far of my Beomgyu fan fiction, Just Pretend!

Y/N meant to ask her crush to prom, but ended up in a fake-dating situation. As more people find out about their "relationship", they find a true friendship. But is that all it'll ever be?

Chapter One - Promposal

Chapter Two - Ivory Petals

Chapter Three - New Moon

Chapter Four - The Group Project

Chapter Five - Favorite Color

Chapter Six - Another Faded Polaroid

Chapter Seven - Back at It Again

Chapter Eight - I Need You

Chapter Nine - Star

Chapter Ten - Define Love?

Chapter Eleven - The Moment I Knew

Just Pretend (BEOMGYU) CH11 - The Moment I Knew

(Y/N POV)

Yesterday, I worried all morning and tossed and turned the night before, fretting what would happen to me and Beomgyu once we finished our presentation.

The presentation went well, but not me and Beomgyu.

Since I showed up that morning, he had been acting strange. I woke up early to do my makeup and hair, trying my best to look nice. My mom thinks it's because of the presentation. But really, it's because it was the last time we were forced to work together, and I hoped that if I could look good enough or sound smart enough, he would stick around.

However, he was distant the entire day. Like those pictures you see of the milky way galaxy, he seemed to be orbiting a whole other sun.

He performed well when it came to the slideshow, but I didn't see him again all day. It's like he was hiding. He had been dodging eye contact and muttering to himself since he got here. Was it something I did? I worry. I think back to me grabbing his hand earlier, shoot! I probably weirded him out and now he hates me, and, and... these nervous thoughts followed me all day, like the cherry blossoms in the spring air. Except far less pretty.

I practically ran to the front gates of the school. If I could see him just one last time before the weekend, maybe somehow I could... keep myself in his thoughts? He walked slowly from the classrooms, eyes down. When he finally looked up and saw me, he practically froze. Has he actually been avoiding me? What did I do?

I still smiled and ran over to him, "I keep forgetting that we don't need to work on our project after school today"

He gulped, "y-yeah" His eyes seemed to jump around, rarely meeting mine.

If I messed something up, I want to fix it! But how am I supposed to fix it if we never talk again?

"so, got any plans for the weekend?"

"Nope"

I went to prom with him (kinda), I talked to him once he lost his old friends, he helped me escape people that were bullying me, we've done this whole project together, how can we just move on as acquaintances after that?

"Then, uh," my mind raced as I tried to think of something we could do together, some excuse to meet up.

I looked at him again. He looked almost... agitated? He turned away and covered his face. I breathed a sigh. Then again, if he were to fall in love with me like I hoped, wouldn't he have by now?

"Then, I guess I'll just see you around"

He was still looking off somewhere. Maybe at someone else. Maybe at nothing at all, "Mhm"

I turned and began walking home. Once I was farther away, I felt tears start to well up in my eyes. I cried silently the whole way home.

Maybe it's stupid. Maybe I'm the one being unrealistic. But I really thought we had something, or maybe I just really believed we could've. I shouldn't have invited him to prom, it just made my feelings worse. And now I have to accept that we could've been, but we never will.

My feelings will just be fog on a window, obscuring my view but clear to him. My warm welcomes just melt at the hands of his cold gaze. And I'll have to be okay with that.

-----

I sip my warm latte, steam floating up and warming my face. I listen to the tap tap tap of the icy rain against the metal roof.

In this quiet morning, I just scroll through Pinterest. Saving photos of cute animals or funny memes. Just relaxing.

I hear something hit the window. I look out there, but I don't see much through the condensation on the glass.

Again, a knock. Is there some animal messing with the latch of the window? A squirrel that went a bit crazy?

The sound continues, so I finally close my phone and unlock the latch of the window to see what is going on.

"What is-"

I freeze in my spot at my desk. My eyes now wide and glassy.

Soaked from the rain. Eyes red; he's been crying for a while now. Hair all messed up. A slouch to his posture, shoulders weighing him down. Arms flat at his side. A pleading look.

"I didn't know where else to go," he mumbles.

A roar of thunder. A flash of lightning. A shiver as he stands before me. I'm still so shocked. I was worried I'd never see him again, but here he is. And that was the moment I knew, for sure this time.

This was real.

I finally call to him, "Beomgyu?"