Suicide Mention - Tumblr Posts

I’ve seen a lot of posts on my dash tonight about users who are threatening suicide, with other Tumblr members posting in effort to try to get ahold of them. I think you all should see this:

IF THERE IS EVER A TUMBLR USER WHO HAS POSTED A GOOD-BYE MESSAGE, SUICIDE NOTE, VIDEO, OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT, PLEASE FOLLOW THIS POST.

1. Scroll to the top of your dashboard.

2. See the circular question mark icon at the top? It’s the third one over from your home symbol. Click on that, and a screen similar to the one in the picture will come up.

3. Where you can type in questions, the box with the magnifying glass at the top, type in the word “suicide.”

4. Click on the first link that shows up. It should say, “Pass the URL of the blog on to us.”

5. Type in the user’s URL and tell Tumblr admin that the user is contemplating suicide and has posted a message indicating that they are going through with it or will be attempting. Hit send! Tumblr administration will perform a number of actions to contact the user and take the necessary steps to prevent the suicide.

TUMBLR: THIS COULD SAVE A USER’S LIFE. PLEASE DO NOT IGNORE SUICIDE THREATS.

Reblog this to keep other users aware. Suicide isn’t a joke, and neither is someone’s life. If you didn’t know this, someone else may not, either. Pass it on.

attached are also numbers for worldwide suicide hotlines. please reach out for help if you’re feeling hopeless.

I just think sad and distressing Guy headcanons are very delicious and I should not get shot or beat up with a toaster by someone's reblog for saying that he uses his writing and comedic banter as an excuse for self-depreciating comments and suicide jokes because he is very much not mentally stable even though he pretends to be and- [gets beat up with several toasters]

It’s All A Fucking Joke, Right

In the few months I’ve been modding at fuckyeahasexual and touring ace Tumblr, there’s been a very. Steady. Stream of info that detail horrifically abusive situations and overall poor mental unhealth. Two a week in the inbox if I’m lucky, usually around seven-ten.

And there’s been so many, I can officially categorize all 500+ of these kinds of asks and submissions into an extensive bulletlist of Why Asexual Exclusionary Radicalism Is Incredibly Toxic And Shitty;

Coming Out To Family, Friends, And Employers

“My parents keep telling me that I’m something else, and it’s making me doubt my sense of judgement, not just about my sexual identity, but also about everything in general.”

“My family, friends, and co-workers keep referring to me as an inanimate object in a manner that’s clearly meant to humiliate and devastate me. Nothing I say will get them to stop.”

“My parents vocally/bodily forced me to undergo medical examinations, some of them concerning my sexual organs, many of them concerning blood tests and other trauma-centric procedures.”

“My family is intervening with my private life by changing my schedule to include exercise, socialization, friend influences, and whatever they think can ‘change’ me.”

“My friends/co-workers no longer respect my bodily boundaries when I came out to them, because they no longer see me as someone who should be respected. They regularly touch, fondle, grope, and prod me without permission, and/or verbally harass me, and don’t take my objections seriously.”

“My family, friends, and co-workers no longer just harass me, but also anyone I’m currently dating because they view my significant other as pathetic, underserved, or even being abused.”

First Few Days Of Dating

“My date got irrationally angry and confrontational when I came out to them, in a manner that made me fearful.” (SO many of these.)

“My date immediately lost any respect they had for my boundaries, no longer asked for consent, and {tried to} force themselves upon me.” (A lot of these, too)

“My date tried to verbally circumvent any boundaries and issues I confessed to, and it made me feel like I was in danger.”

“I didn’t come out to my date at first, and when they found out, they radically changed their behavior in an attempt to control and manipulate our new relationship to their benefit.”

Long-Term Relationships

“My partner has forcefully and radically changed our long-term relationship after finding out about my asexuality, and I’m now trapped and controlled in a way that I wasn’t before.”

“My partner broke up with me/is fighting with me because of my asexuality, and trying to make it seem like I’m hurting them. It’s made me doubt myself and my ability to trust my own intentions.”

“My partner is slowly changing from what was once supportive of my asexuality, and I’m wondering when I have the right to be worried and when I’d be overreacting. I’m aware of the worst case scenario, but I also worry that I’m being selfish and childish - which are things I’ve been told all throughout my asexual experience.”

Self-Care And Self Development

“I don’t trust my ability to say either yes or no in sexual situations, and this has extended to my life in general. I don’t feel comfortable in my ability to self-determinate.”

“The lack of authority, definition, and schooling of the concept of asexuality has made me very uncomfortable with what I think I am, and that uncertainty haunts me every waking moment.”

“I think it’s too late/too early to tell if I’m asexual, but the longer I hesitate, the worse my mental health and emotional wellbeing gets. I’m effectively stuck.”

“I see no benefit in coming out, or even identifying as asexual. There’s no positivity, role models, or supportive community for what I consider a big and scary part of my overall identity.”

“I think this was sexual abuse, but I’m wondering if I’m just being selfish and childish.”

“I think I was treated badly by my parents/friends/partner, but I’m wondering if I’m just being selfish and childish.”

“I want to believe that I’m deserving of equal freedom and human respect paid to other, not asexual people, but people tell me I’m being selfish and childish.”

“No one encourages this part of me. And that makes me feel forgotten and abandoned in general.”

Shut the fuck up about your petty beef with tumblr bloggers and youtubers and Archie comics or whatever. I literally do not care, I can’t care. I see these messages every goddamn day - this post was written and drafted a month ago, and I very easily compiled most of this bulletpoint list from scratch, just by eyeing what I see in the askbox and what comes across my dash. 

‘Ace discourse’ anger is empty and so meaningless. This is what I see by being part of this one 17k follow asexual ask blog for maybe half a year. I am so Done with all the faux rage posts and all the false positivity about how it’s ok to NOT be ace and all the acephobia that falls perfectly in line with the gaslighting typical of acephobia-101 while also having the audacity to claim it not so.

This is what’s real and I want to bleed it into your goddamn eyes.

// suicide mentions //

one of my online friends killed herself just after 2020 new years. i was on a 14 day scouting camp and came back to a message sent from her dad saying that she had died… and that we'd been her best friend and the reason she hadn't killed herself up until that point. he said he tried to get her funeral recorded but couldn't. i'm forever grateful to her father for telling me.

we used to role-play warrior cats and chat about mental health stuff, way before i fully understood it.

Hawkfeather and her friendship laid the foundation for many things, but notably motivation to study psych and to try to avoid the pain of ever having to lose a friend that way again.

may starclan light your path Hawkfeather, you're so missed, and so so loved

GOD, THIS. GOD.

we were JUST starting to heal from the suicidality and then our disability got us hospitalised... and oh, no! they're back!!! (fuck this)

there's something so raw and soul crushing about spending your late childhood+teen years suicidal then growing up and actually wanting to live, after an ungodly effort, only to see your health deteriorate because of chronic illness.

"Sometimes I wish I was never born at all" suicidal [passive suicidality], not "bye, going to jump off a cliff" suicidal [active suicidality], is a difference I wish therapists understood and respected lol

There's something about having been suicidal since late childhood/early teens that means you get so used to feeling worthless and pathetic that whenever it flares up it's just like 'oh, it's this again - something must be..'.

Or you reflect on the last however-many years and wonder where your life went; where you look at the future like it means nothing and see your progress through a lens of 'I should never have been alive to see this, so why does it matter'.

Where you look back at your childhood self with guilt and shame because you didn't succeed in your goals because you were busy fighting

And it absolutely sucks. But it's okay. You and your system made it. (thinking about that always makes me feel like I'm part of a big family). It's okay to feel. Just please, for the love of goodness, stay. This world needs you. Your system needs you. Your future self needs you more than you know. Breathe. It's going to work out.

If you can live through the hard times once once; you can process it, you've survived hell, and it's your time to feel good again. Know there's evidence (you're still here!) that you're strong enough to live through it. You can process the pain and learn to feel joy again.

The more you find joy in the little things; listening to music, a sunwarmed cat, rainbows, warm bikkies [cookies], seeing a loved one, spending time outside, finishing a little task, craft, learning something new, the list goes on.. the easier it becomes to feel joy day to day.

It's going to be okay. You've already gone through the worst of it, and now you know you've got your system behind you, you're not alone (which is sometimes the issue XD!), but you've got this. Promise.

Sending hugs from NZ 💕🇳🇿

After being suicidal for a very long time, experiencing happiness can be… weird. It may feel foreign, strange, or jarring. You may feel ashamed for feeling joy in the face of your suffering. You many not know how to deal with positive emotions after drowning in sorrow for so long.

If your system is finding yourselves in this situation, we’d encourage you to just take a moment to breathe. You’re not wrong or bad for experiencing joy. Happiness does not have to negate your pain and it will not undo the suffering you’ve gone through. It may be hard relearning to experience joy, but it’s worth it, we promise.

The more you allow yourselves to feel your joy, the easier it will be to feel it again in the future. We truly hope that you will be able to experience happiness again and again and again, with such frequency and intensity that it becomes familiar and second nature to you. We hope your lives will soon be filled to the brim with delight, or at least with small moments of serendipity.

Why do you say medically recognized system rather than diagnosed?

Good question; it boils down to how we access our therapy.

New Zealand has a recovery program covered by ACC (accident compensation corporation) for all New Zealanders that have experienced sexual assault within the country. To qualify, an individual must meet the criteria for post-traumatic stress disorder (PSTD) related to the sexual assault event/s. If they reach the diagnostic criteria for PSTD, the assessor/s will submit a recommendation for long term support, which in our case was approved. From there, individuals find a support person, councillor/therapist/psychologist, or whatever works for them, and their support person will communicate with ACC regarding the person's recovery.

The accessors we had completely refused to screen for DID, despite the referral including a recommendation to screen for it, and us already being suspicious of our dissociative symptoms and experiences aligning with that of OSDD/DID. We received a formal diagnosis of PSTD with high level dissociation. From there, we found a psych who had experience with DID, PSTD, and sexual trauma.

Jay, our therapist supports us and recognises our system, dissociative experiences, and other DID symptoms. When he submitted our recovery report, stated that we had DID, and that they would aid in our trauma recovery; integration, functional multiplicity or whatever pathway we decided to take.

The recovery team declined it (and in doing so, any future support) on the basis that PSTD was the diagnosis and not DID, despite their team never attempting to screen DID - and our therapist stating that he had met various parts/alters, discussed various symptoms and had run us through parts of the diagnostic process. He returned the recovery report with DID edited to state PSTD, and no further questions were asked.

I know Amber/🔥 finds this hilariously depressing. As she puts it, "DID is basically PSTD+, I don't see their issue with the difference, what the f**k?! Both are recognised trauma disorders??!?! and ACC's own website states that DID is a trauma response and has similarity to PSTD" [quote taken from our chat after I told her that ACC declined DID, but accepted PSTD].

Jay dislikes formal diagnosis related to mental disorders as he has had first-hand experience with various psychotic and DID individuals being discriminated against in the medical field, and outside, especially when they have intersecting identities like we do. Quote "It's an ink-blot you can't remove, once it's there, it's there. We can't remove it." and reiterated that if medical professionals need to know why we're disassociated or have bad memory, that it's in relation to PSTD and ADHD.

We have DID recognised by medical professionals; our general practitioner, Jay/our psych and our gynaecologist all know and understand that we have DID and what that means for future, medications and mental health; however we do not have the piece of paper that categorically states that "this person has DID"

I hope this answers it well. You are most welcome to ask more questions if you have them.

-Kyle (💜)

you should kill yourself 😘

I'm going through my asks and this is like the sixth one of these.

Bub, I've already tried that, several times. It didn't work! Sorrryyyyy. G*ns are banned in my country too so I don't have any quick, effective options. Most of the methods I've tried are a little too slow and messy, people realise what's going on before it works.

If you have any suggestions I would appreciate them :)

Besides, whyyyy do you want me dead? is this over the mango chicken? I can explain.

what the freak

Did we really just spend the last few months seeing people scream about bloodthirsty Jews Zionists who crave mass murder and genocide and steal Palestinian babies and eat the skins of corpses which they also steal?

Because now I see every single Jewish person I know on Tumblr spending all day begging people not to kill themselves while the pro-Palis are drawing fanart of self-immolation.

Do you want death cults? Because that's how you get death cults.

Your response is requested in the form of an essay.

Please define "colonizer", including at least three (3) links to academic resources defending your definition.

Please cite your reasons for why you believe I qualify as a colonizer, citing at least three (3) examples from my writing.

I will happily accept the dictionary or Wikipedia for one (1) definition from each of the above. Your personal feelings, and your friend's blogs, do not qualify as academic writing and may not be cited.

I'm sure this will be easy for you, since you called me a colonizer in good faith, and not because you believe I'm Jewish anti-suicide and anti-ableism in the pro-Palestinian slacktivist community. Good luck!

Did we really just spend the last few months seeing people scream about bloodthirsty Jews Zionists who crave mass murder and genocide and steal Palestinian babies and eat the skins of corpses which they also steal?

Because now I see every single Jewish person I know on Tumblr spending all day begging people not to kill themselves while the pro-Palis are drawing fanart of self-immolation.

Do you want death cults? Because that's how you get death cults.

Oh, goodness. I think popping off with some ill-written snark and then blocking me proves that you were operating in bad faith from the beginning, and never intended to do anything but a drive-by comment to vent your antisemitism. What a shame.

Good luck learning how to spell the name of the people you claim to advocate for as a cover for your Jew-hate!

Did we really just spend the last few months seeing people scream about bloodthirsty Jews Zionists who crave mass murder and genocide and steal Palestinian babies and eat the skins of corpses which they also steal?

Because now I see every single Jewish person I know on Tumblr spending all day begging people not to kill themselves while the pro-Palis are drawing fanart of self-immolation.

Do you want death cults? Because that's how you get death cults.

So pro tip that comes from absolutely no firsthand experience-

If you are surrounded by antisemetic protesters yelling for an intifada and for Zionists to kill themselves, and they’re closing in on you- start singing Daiyenu very loudly. Slap your knees, belt the words “Dai-Dai-Daiyenu! Dai-Dai-Daiyenu! Daiyenu!”

It’s very easy to get into that rythym, feel that happiness and strength and to make the crowd think you’re strong. Because you are strong. What G-d has given us, it’s enough.

Again - totally not firsthand experience whatsoever.

Regardless of what you feel like you're doing when you talk about what a garbage person you are in response to critique, what you're actually doing is telling people that they are not permitted to criticize you, ever, under any circumstances, or else Something Bad Will Happen (And It'll Be Their Fault).

And, uh, it's not good to live your life that way. It's not good for other people, and it's not good for you.

If you can't handle the slightest bit of criticism without basically breaking down and talking about how you're such a terrible and disgusting person (and even threatening suicide!), then you need to fucking work on that because it should not be everyone else's responsibility to drop a conversation to soothe and comfort you, especially after you've hurt them.

Mental illness is horrible, I know, and I'm not telling you to magically get rid of those feelings, but there's ways to work through them on your own or in another space without putting other people on the spot and forcing them to walk on eggshells around you.

I'm actually gonna kms (/J), I was browsing one of my favourite tags and I saw a fucking blazed post that has tags that I have filtered off

Has anybody had their favorite fanfic changed or edited? Not deleted, just different?

Years ago, I read one in which the protagonist, after a long winded series of unfortunate events, reaches rock bottom and decides to end their life.

The fanfic, while depressing, it was perfect, because the ending was far from your typical "lived happily ever after" type of ending. And I liked it that way! Not saying I don't like happy endings but I need something fresh every once in a while, ok?

So I revisit it again and wait a minute... it feels shorter, something is wrong, very wrong. Then it hit me...

THE OP DELETED THE ENDING!

Even worse, OP hasn't touched the fanfic ever since! Idk if OP wanted to change it, which is ok, creative decisions don't have to match what you want. But idk if I would say that the risk that OP took was worth it...

You see, the pacing for the original plot and ending was perfect for its grimdark themes. Now, if OP wanted to change pace and rework the fanfic into a happier ending, while taking in consideration the initial plot, OP will have to elongate the fanfic and make it way, WAY longer than than it originally was to not ruin the pacing.

But that won't happen, period.

Gomez and Morticia vibes

You know who you are.