Senioritis - Tumblr Posts

the two types of senior year backpacks:

cute kid's backpack bcuz it's fun and you don't have much to carry

or

a duck taped and safety pinned monstrosity that has lasted you your entire high-school career (and maybe longer).

no in between.

When u lost ur best friend of mine years and she won't respond because of depression and now lost ur other best friend because of some fake bitch who spreads rumours about u ugh can't wait to go to college and get away from this I like to watch drama not be apart of it

Rant or Trauma Dump: Overblot Leona is Relatable as a Student in American Public School

Will keep this short as possible

Abstract: Leona's trauma = shared trauma but (American) 12th grader student edition. I share my experience. Am I allowed to say it's my trauma when it's just resentment?

Work count: 585

Leona expressed strong resentment at the idea of birth > skill so why r bother trying? Nobody cares. I understood it from a story writing standpoint at first then this came to me and I felt things.

Not sure how common this is around the globe but I went to an American public school for high school/secondary school education (why do I sound like a foreign exchange student haha) and every week of/before homecoming or winter break or some major event, there’s spirit week in which each grade level compete with themed outfits, lunch time activity\games, and assembly games. Win enough points to beat the other grade.

Off topic but my school’s Assembled Student Body have zero creativity for lip sync and themes because why do they keep doing Marvel and Disney? I might as well think we’re sponsored by Disney because we could’ve had HTTYD or Wonder Woman for crying out loud. Also there was a spirit day for “hype beast” in which you wear the high end stuff like Supreme. Well, I was bullied in elementary school for being NOT high income so I held resentment for those things.

Freshman year (9th grade), I did my best but we came in last place. Seniors won. Sophomore year, I felt bad for the freshmen who tried harder than us last year and they lost. Their side was decked out in white, it looked like Big Bear. Seniors won. Junior year, I figured it out it was pointless. Seniors won. Then came our turn. I noticed it. My fellow seniors would not bother trying because they knew they’d win anyway or would cheat the system like raising their hands for points even though they’re not wearing anything spirit (sometimes they be counting shoes). I hated it. I hated it more when the senior favoritism happens before your eyes.

Every winter assembly, there should be a sled race where one player is in a cardboard box and another pulls. Seniors never pull because their box has a giant hole so they can stand up and run to the finish line like a Grinch. I never saw that my senior year. Every assembly ever, there’s supposed to be a clapping game similar to Simon Says. The freshman are always duped on the first “clap” and the seniors don’t even play the game, it’s an applause! A standing ovation even! Even the seniors get to win the lip sync battle every time. Makes me wonder if they could stand in the corner then still win first place. In elective and math (above Algebra 1) classes, you would find mixed grade levels so not sure how much the point-counters scrutinize. They are not nit picky with seniors. If you raise your hand, we don’t check. Below seniors? They check. Yet, I think the cronyism is the main problem.

Seniors don’t need any skill set. They just need to be that class and bam, easy win. Any other class could try as they might and never win. I hated it more when people say, “let them win, they’re graduating.” Might as well give them all passing grades, senior year is the easiest anyways. No worries about senioritis. All the teachers love you because you’re mature baby-adults and about to leave. Hate the freshmen because they’re the hooligans. Let’s bully the freshmen.

Conclusion: Leona is relatable in the birth order > skill set resentment and not trying hard if nobody cares, because of the high school seniors favouritism I witnessed during spirit week.

So hi, I don't know who I am any more

Okay to preface this, I have always been so sure of myself, of who I am, of the plans I wanted to follow. But recently I've noticed that I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life. I'm a senior in highschool with mo real life experience who has depersonalization episodes the moment I'm in confrontation. I'm also a gay D&D nerd in the south who has no clue what he's doing.

The thing is, I've always questioned my ability to survive, to get past senior year, if I truly had a future and the truth is I was always in denial of the fact I might have one. Like I made all the plans for after highschool but I always assumed in the back of my head I'd just be another statistic, a dead boy on the side of the road or just dead and now that I have actually gone to therapy I'm not comptemplating my death anymore. But I still dont think I have a future.

Maybe it's me just being afraid to move forward in my life. My therapist does say I dont handle change that well, but I just can't figure out who the guy in the reflection is anymore. I know I'm posting something rather depressing and weird that's also not well put together either but that's because its 1:47 AM and I refuse to sleep, I have to plan a Halloween oneshot for later today.

This has been me talking to the ethereal place known as the internet, thanks for reading my short rambles, I hope there's hope, love Children of Cthulhu (Aka Trey)