Sams Incorrect Quotes - Tumblr Posts
Dumb shit me and my friends said in our group chat but as incorrect quotes; tsams edition
TW// ab#se mention , 9/11 joke , alcoh#l mention
Bloody: I have the best abusive biological father ever
Lunar: w h a t
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Eclipse: twin towers × plane 🤭
"Virus" Ruin: I ship
Eclipse: it's so good a ship that people died
"Virus" Ruin: I just realized I missed a pun opportunity. I should have said "I plane" instead of "I ship"
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*The lights go out*
Solar: power be gone
Moon: yup
Sun: *screams in the other room*
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Monty: And then Sun just whispered into my ear "Autistic kids are spicier than neurotypical kids"
Earth: What :D...
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Sun, over text: YOU HAVNE NO PROOFF THAT I AM THE CUKPRIT
Moon: There is a bottle of wine at the crime scene.
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Lunar: Dad jokes with Monty have evolved, I'm now resurrecting Eclipse to make him shut up
Sun: Please don't-
Eclipse, climbing out of the floorboards: Ok who's being a fucking bitch-
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Solar: bai keybor
Sun: *Launches the keyboard at one of his cats* I FUCKING HATE THIS GAME-
Moon: Amazing prediction. Is the cat okay, Sun?
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Eclipse: today was the most baddest fucking day of my fucking life... I got stuck in the fucking portal 😭
Sun: Writing's not that easy, but-
Moon: Are- Are you okay Eclipse..?
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Solar: I just threw up all over myself.. what the fuck, man!?
Moon: Go lay down, I'll come over and clean it up.
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Creator: I am shitting as we speak
Earth: *Hangs up, gags*
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Earth: Your royal gaynesses
Monty: Which one is the most royal?
Eclipse: Obviously m-
Solar: *Smacks him*
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Monty: I identify as a walrus and my pronouns are fuck/you
Lunar: Fuck you too, buddy.
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Eclipse: Monty, shut the fuck up before I hop on my tricycle and ascend to war on your precious lizard children-
Monty: Eclipse, I will bash your skull in and boil your brains before taking a beartrap to your bolts and scissors to your feet.
Moon: Jesus H.. I live with dumbasses
Moon, trying to pick a fight with Solar; You wanna fucking go!?
Solar, holding up his iPad; I have a big metal slab in my hands, you would not wanna fight me
Moon; *Pulls out a flip phone*
Solar; MINE'S BIGGER, JUST LIKE MY DICK!
Moon; *runs off crying*
Jack; Father, aquire us a popped corn
Moon; Why should I?
Eclipse; POP US A CORN YOU COWARD!
Moon; Jeez, okay!
Eclipse and Jack, simultaneously; Thank you Mother/Father
[Moon and Sun are bickering]
Sun's cat: *Throws a bottle off wine off the counter, it shatters*
Sun: THAT SOUND IS WHAT I THINK OF YOUR OPINION
Moon: YOU PIECE OF *Bleep*
Moon, trying not to laugh; What's wrong, Jack?
Jack, sobbing and swollen; Bhee..
Moon, wheezing; Did you eat a bee.?
Jack; *Nods*
Eclipse, violently shaking; Solar help me I cannot see I am shaking too hard
Solar; *Sighs*
Solar; *Grabs Eclipse by the hood to lead him in the right direction*
Solar; It's probably because of the cold and the drink you just chugged, next time don't drink iced Red Bull in 30° weather
Moon, throwing Eclipse over his shoulder like a towel; Come here, you tree
Eclipse; *Kicks his stomach*
Eclipse; Put me down you fucking blueberry!
Hey, you, how dare you leave this in the replies
Moon, trying not to laugh; What's wrong, Jack?
Jack, sobbing and swollen; Bhee..
Moon, wheezing; Did you eat a bee.?
Jack; *Nods*