Mother Issues - Tumblr Posts

Coffin Mother - A poem.

I was born with splinters poking out I was held in bloodless arms My mother bore me skin and bone But she was a box, and never a home My mother's kisses were dusty and dry My mother's door rusted shut I am new and unaware of you How my father was a victim too There is only one way coffins show love There is an inevitability about it Submitting to the grave is your only one true fate and her chest cavity is beckoning you're late from dust to dust we always return at any moment you could strike to hold me sing me a lullaby while you take my life Death mother keep me safe You've kept me trapped from the sky burred under shrouds of darkness and dirt Like a blanket over my world to deny you is to open my eyes I break your fragile lid and rip your hinges Torn away I cast parts of you aside I crawl with my dead hands through the earth above until a rumored heaven breaks open my brown sky Light and colors fill my vision, the air is not stale my lungs sting and my muscles ache I was not built for standing, walking 6 feet below I can hear howling curses of forgiveness; "This transgression could be forgiven You've had your fun, now come down from there The pain you caused, the body you've broken All that you've abandoned in the home I've built Just try to use the muscles I raised you with I knew you weren't ready for this Come sleep on my chest and let the cold soothe you Everyone has to die eventually." Coffin mother I hate you the ultraviolet burns my malnourished skin There is wood in my lungs, skin, hair Headboards feel like tombstones, Bouquets are mournful Coffin mother I miss you walking on my own with these unused legs makes me yearn for the embrace of sleep laying down in you to turn my brain off Coffin mother I don't love you But I do, in the way you love starvation after awhile Recovery can't stop my memories of enjoyment the high I chased of emptiness you gave I won't ever return to you, I'll blow my ashes in the wind, and you can die with whatever scars my freedom cost. Nobody is coming to fix the hole I punched through you to reach the sky. I can't remove the dirt from my nails or the splinters permanently in my blood. But you can't catch me to engulf my soul in it anymore. I don't care if I'm a dead thing among men. I will die with more life than I was born with. Despite you and your version of the world.

do u have a normal relationship with your mother or do you have to imagine yourself violently murdering her mid conversation in order to cope with her presence after everything she's done

Is it so much to ask to be loved by my own mom

Is it so much to ask to be loved by my own mom

Is it so much to ask to be loved by my own mom

I just realized that I made it. I'm 18. I didn't let my dark and intrusive thoughts take over my mind. I am actually still alive. I am alive. Three weeks until my last exams before I can finally leave high school. I'm actually 18. I didn't commit su1c!de... I made it... It's... Woah. I never thought I'd be able to make it, I've never been able to think myself growing up past 16... And now I'm 18? Like, actually 18?? I am so proud of myself

Oh, and I'm crying too

me when they bring up my relationship with my mom and how everything changed once I got to highschool.

All you have to do is actually praising me

Loving me

Saying you're proud of me

For giving effort even if I don't want to do it

Not mocking me

Hating on me

Saying that my efforts is nothing

Only because I've been doing it differently than my siblings

I know that I'm just doing it slowly and there isn't much differences

But in my eyes, it looks different

Something that I can be proud of

I look at it and think that I've done a good job

Stop saying my efforts is nothing

I'm trying my best to live up as your child

I know I'm lazy, but you should have encouraged me

I know I'm just overreacting and wanted attention

But it's your fault too

I'm starving

Starving for your touch

Your love

Your praises make me feel happy

I always looking forward to it as a child

But since I getting that bad exam result and starting to act like a 'bratty' teenager

You look at me like I'm just another problem

Problem to be solved

Even if you don't ever asked me about my feelings

All you said is that I'm lazy, selfish and overreacting

IM LIVING FOR YOU

I'm trying to live my life as your child.

Trying to be a decent child that you can say at least one good thing

But you only mocking me when they talked about their child

Lazy, lazy, lazy

All over and over again

You know what?

You can never get your child back

Father.

You can't get your girl back anymore

Mother.

You can't get your daughter back anymore

I can no longer say I'm a father's child or mother's child

I'm neither

You heard me

Neither

Why?

When I'm sad, the only thing that I'm seeking comfort to is my teddy bear

Not you, mother

Not you, father

You both never are my comfort place to vent to

All of my tears are shed because of you

I don't care for a fact that I'm still hugging a bear

You forced me to be like this

You've gone too far at the moment I noticed that

I don't feel anything when you hug me

I don't feel the warmth of it

You're cold

Why can't I feel the love in it?

Why can't I feel it?

Agh... Maate.

The day I stop trying to please my mother will be the happiest day of my life

anyone else need therapy so bad that they play out specific therapy sessions in their head like. "okay maybe the first session ill be silent and the next ill probably be comfortable to dump my childhood trauma on them" OR imagining what the therapist would say// how theyd react to get some sort of comfort??????

an impossible reality

Thats the most relatable post ever.

God will really look at eldest daughters and think. Hmm. Your mother is going to be the cruellest woman you will ever have the misfortune of meeting. She will also be emotionally manipulative and so so hard to love. Unfortunately you will love her anyway because you see in her all that you could be one day. You will peek into her past and see the same weapons on her that hurt she hurt you with. You will want to run away from her every day. You will not survive a day without her. You will want to kill her sometimes. The mere thought of her dying will make it impossible for you to breathe. You will savour the way her mean words dig their fingers into the warm crevices of your heart because you're so so scared of the day she calls you down for dinner one last time. You will love her more than any man and she would leave you like she leaves them. This is your fate. It will kill you one day. You will never have it any other way. Accept your fate. Don't resist. Don't refuse. Don't argue. Calm down. Be a lady. Come down, dinner's ready.

“mothers and daughters existing as wretched mirrors of each other: i am all you could've been and you are all i might be.”

quote by honeytuesday

you think you've broken the cycle but then you notice yourself scrolling Tumblr looking for posts relatable to share your trauma

i hate it so much

Being my mother's daughter is like "I love you despite you tell me I'll never be a good mother. I love you despite you telling me you won't mourn me a day if I killed myself. I love you despite you saying I've already ruined my life. I love you even though you never stopped mocking me for my height. I love you even though my arms have wounds your words created. I love you even though you make me cry on my birthdays. I love you even though

Questions for My Mother

Mother why?

Do you forget you’re our teacher?

Do you forget you chose to bring us into this world?

Are we your greatest or your biggest gift?

We can never tell.

I know you’ve been through a lot

My daddy wasn’t always nice

But aren’t we yours more than his?

If we’re not up to your standards is it our fault or yours?

I come from a long line of mean women who shouldn’t have had children, but did anyway.

God, I wish I can be your mother who takes care about you and won't abandon you, dear friend.

But I'm traumatized too... And still, I want to care about you the way our mothers didn't take care about us.

i'm a huge fan of the new ari aster film. as a person currently dealing with separation, i find it very relatable although rather pessimistic.

Beau is adorable and deserves to be cherished 😔 just take this boi away from his toxic mother & let him be safe...

(i gave him a plushie)