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What a shame

What if after you joined the scouts in order to help Eren get through his Titan experiments with the special operations squad you start getting close to the captain whom you've been bickering with all along?

(A/N) I thought about this while listening to "what a shame" by leyla blue so enjoy,,,I'll probably do sum parts lol.So I'm 4'11 irl,I didn't do it so Levi would be taller.

swearing,kind of violence, insinuated smut, agegap

around 4.8k words<3

(F/N)'s POV

It's now been twenty four hours after the stupid trial they held for Eren and we are about to set off for the old scouts' quarters where Eren will be going under a number of experiments.Now don't get me wrong I love Eren but requesting me to join him with the special operations squad to help him get through it? Couldn't he have asked Mikasa or Armin instead?Well I know they chose me because I was the only one of age,still though at eighteen Mikasa is still stronger than me so I don't see a problem with her replacing me.Yesterday's still fresh in my mind,after the trial Commander Erwin and Captain Levi approached me while I was sitting with Sasha.

"Cadet (L/N) can you join us in my office?"I heard a voice behind me say,I turned around and I was shocked.Commander Erwin with Captain Levi were asking me to join them to Commander's office.Oh shit what did I do?

"Yes sir."I saluted and looked him in the eyes feeling intimidated,I didn't even look at Captain,hell he even scared me from what he did to Eren about an hour ago.He beat the shit out of him infront of everyone for god's sake!

I followed behind them through hallways taking a few turns to Commander's office.I was the last one to enter and I closed the door behind me bracing myself for what's to come.

"Please take a seat (F/N)."Said the commander and I awkwardly sat down in front of them.Then I took the courage to look at Captain only to find steely gray eyes looking back at me,however I kept looking at him while I felt my face getting hot.Now that I've taken a better look at him I don't understand why people don't find him attractive,his face is symmetrical with a straight nose and he has a killer jawline.His hair is pitch black and styled nicely and overall he has a good physique even though he is indeed short,he is taller than me by a few inches though.Of course I've heard the stories of humanity's strongest soldier and how incredible he is but to be honest after today I think that he's nothing more than an entitled ass.A very attractive entitled ass.

I turned my head around to face commander and before I could speak he started talking.

"Don't worry cadet you're not in trouble." I let out a breath I didn't know I held. "What we want from you,is kind of a command." he continued.

"Oh." I said and he probably noticed the glimmer of confusion in my (e/c) eyes.

"Well Eren Jaeger will be brought to the old quarters of the Survey Corps under the supervision of the special operations squad led by Captain Levi,"he motioned to the raven haired man who stood still with an expressionless face."And since Eren will be experimenting all the time I thought that it would be good for him to see familiar faces,so we handpicked you to join him."he finished and I was left speechless.

"Sir,I'm sure Eren would prefer for either cadet Ackerman or cadet Arlert to join him,they're all very close."I said and looked up to the intimidating commander.

"Nonesense the reason we picked you is because you're of age and on top of your class." he replied.

"It's actually cadet Ackerman who's on top,I come in second but okay.I will be joining Jaeger and the special operations squad if that's your command."I slumped down my shoulders.

He nodded and started filling me in on what I would be doing there for the rest of the month.

I sighed turning back to see Petra who was talking with Eld.Oluo was talking about something irrelevant with Eren while Gunther was just waiting for Captain's order for departure.I learned all their names yesterday at dinner since we'll spend quite some time together.Eld and Gunther were more quiet and laid back,Oluo was the one trying to imitate the captain so he talked a lot about past missions and himself.Petra was sweet and I could see she admired captain a lot.Maybe a bit too much but that wasn't for me to judge,she was a few years older than me so we clicked.

"Oi"we heard from the very front of our formation,"We're leaving,follow my lead."Captain Levi said with a stone cold face.

A couple of ''yes sir's" were thrown and we started our journey on our horses.By noon we could see the White castle nestled in between the green of the forest.I was chatting with Petra about her Father,he seemed very sweet like her,when captain spoke.

"So when we arrive we'll be cleaning the whole place,got it?" he said looking at me and Eren.

Both of us nodded frantically but I sighed internally.I never really liked cleaning,I found it boring but I always kept my body and clothing clean,I hated the feeling of filth on me it reminded me of the streets.

We continued galloping until we reached the gates of the castle,it was massive.Oh hell no we'd spend the whole day and night cleaning it,the place looked dirty and in no way shape or form fit for residence.

It was now starting to get dark, it's been a few hours since we arrived and we've been cleaning non-stop.Captain ordered me and Eren to clean the whole the left wing.Eren wouldn't stop talking and all I could do is mentally block him out of my head to keep going with the cleaning.A knock was heard from the door of the room we're now cleaning, a second later captain Levi opened the door and I had to compose myself so I wouldn't laugh.He wore a white bandana over his hair and a fucking mask.Both me and Eren saluted.

"Are you done here?"he asked eyeing the room.

"Not yet captain,we still have a room left but we'll get right to it."said Eren before I could speak,I was still trying to hold my laughter in.

"Eren go start the other room and leave (F/N) to finish this, you'll get it over with more quickly,she will join you when she's done."he ordered and Eren agreed,running off to the next room.

I picked up the rug I was working with on the window and started scrubbing, painfully aware of captain's steely eyes on me.

"I don't know why Erwin picked you to join us."a quiet voice said behind me.

"In all honesty captain neither do I."I said not loosing my temper or turning around,I was familiar with his rude remarks,having heard a lot of soldiers complain about it over the years.I didn't hear anything apart from the door behind me close,leaving me alone.

In what felt years later we were done and heading down to the kitchen to grab some food.I caught Petra by the stairs and we walked down to the kitchen meeting an already seated captain.Petra practically run to the table and I flinched at the noise her shoes made sliding on the rocky floor.

"Captain would you like me to make you some tea?"she asked while I sat two seats away from the head of the table.

"No thank you Petra,I am already aware that you know how to make tea.Cadet (L/N) will make some for all of us."he said looking at me and I returned his gaze slightly nodding.Standing up I made my way to the kettle that was already filled with water,placing it on the stove.A yellow light filled the room and I took the tray with the cups,placing it on the table infront of the captain.When I heard the water bubbling I walked over to the kettle,taking it off the stove and throwing three teabags in it,swirling it around and letting it steep.Minutes later I took the teabags out and held the kettle in my hands.Now back at the table I started with the captain,taking a cup off the tray and placing it near his hand.I could smell his hair from where I was standing,which by the way was kind of behind him and a bit on the left side while pouring tea in his cup.I looked down to him and found him starring sight back to me.

"Do you take it with sugar or milk sir?"I asked keeping the eye contact.He raised his eyebrows.

"No,thank you."I nodded and walked around the table pouring tea to every single one of the special operations squad,Eren and then myself.I could see from the corner of my eye captain holding his cup in a peculiar way,instead of holding it from the handle like a normal fucking person,he holded it from the rim,his palm over the opening.Pouring the last bit of tea to my cup as I sat down I looked at Eren who was talking with Eld,Eld was sitting both on my left and captain's while Oluo was sat at captain's right with Petra next to him on his right .Next to me was Gunter at my right and at the far end of the table was Eren.I drifted off looking down at my cup on the table,my hand wrapped around it when a noise was heard from the kitchen's entrance.It was section commander Hange Zoë.They were supposed to come in tomorrow but I guess they were too excited.

"I was examining two titans we caught alive in the city,I would love for you to help me with tommorrow's experiments.I came here to ask for you permission." they said to Eren.

"An experiment?What am I going to do exactl-" Hange cut him off before he could finish.

"What else except of the amazing thing you already do?"

"Well I can't give you the permission, you see someone else in charge for me."he replied and Hange turned to captain.

"Levi does Eren have to do something tommorrow?"they asked and Captain seemed displeased.

"He has to clean the garden."his reply was short.

"Fine then it's settled!Eren tommorrow we're going to collaborate!"they said taking his hand in theirs.Eren looked overwhelmed.

"Yes."he stuttered."But what kind of experiments to you do with titans?"he asked and their face lit up.

"Uhm,what exactly are this experiments?"he asked once again.Then Oluo spoke.

"Hey stop.Don't ask them this."he said and I looked back at Hange.

"Ah I knew it,your expression have away your desire for knowledge!"the captain suddenly sat up along with everyone else and I did the same.I waved Eren goodbye mouthing <<goodnight>>.I felt kinda bad leaving him there all alone with Hange but he asked for it.As I turned to the left where my assigned room was I was stopped from the captain.

"Since Eren will be accompanying Hange, you'll be cleaning the garden.Understood?"he motioned down infront of the window where an overgrown carden was.I sighed, tommorrow was my day off and I really didn't want to spend it this way.

"I'm sorry captain I'm afraid I can't, tommorrow's my day off."I said respectfully and his jaw clenched.

"I see Erwin hasn't informed you about this,that bastard always leaves the hard work to me."he whispered the last part,almost to himself."Cadet while you're with us here,you will not be having days off."he stated sternly.What?

"What?I never agreed to this."

"You don't need to,these are orders cadet."

"Then I don't want to follow orders."I am not loosing my long awaited day off for this shit.

"You see (F/N), you really don't have a choice so go to sleep and be up at dawn or there'll be consequences, besides it's almost curfew."he swiftly turned around and walked on the opposite direction.Great.

As if his orders were engraved in my mind I really did wake up at dawn.Groaning I dragged myself out of bed and in the bathroom,I doubt anyone will be awake at this time so I didn't bother to change off my nightclothes which consisted of a long white tank top,I noticed that the awaited morning cold had hardened my nipples,and a pair of loose fitting pants.I actually stole these from Reiner,he was about to throw them away anyway because of a rip on the left knee.I sewed it up and now it was my favourite piece of clothing I owned.The cold water run down my body and it waked me up instantly,grabbing the soap bar I scrubbed my hair thoroughly.It smelled like lavender.Finishing up cleansing my body,I run the cold water once a gain to rinse off.I reached for the towel and wrapped it around my body,with my left hand I clenched on the material in order to secure it on my body and on the other hand I had my nightclothes.Walkind down the corridor I shivered,I almost dropped my towel when a dark figure appeared infront of me whilst I made a turn.

"By the walls captain you scared the shit out of me!"I cursed forgetting the ultimately embarrassing situation I was in for a moment.But that moment didn't last long when I remebered my appearance.I felt captain's body tense up under the back of my hand.I was practically stuck on his front so I took a couple of steps back,my face now red from the embarrassment of my captain seeing me like this.I heard him clear his throat and he most probably regained his composure.

"Uh change,have breakfast and go start with the garden.I'll be joining you shortly after I make sure four-eyes doesn't kill Jaeger."he said and I nodded sprinting to my room.Unaware of the pair of bright brown eyes that just saw my entire encounter with captain.

Quickly I pulled on my chest wrappings,underpants and a white shirt with my military trousers.I didn't have to wear the harnesses today so I ditched them in the chair near my bed and I laced up my leather boots.I combed my wet hair with my fingers,they fell just bellow my shoulders in a middle part.The kitchen was empty but it looks like someone has already brewed some tea and there's porridge on the stove.I ate quickly,drinking my tea in a hurry and I left the kitchen.The garden was peaceful but also chaotic.It was so overgrown with weeds and it desperately needed organisation,the stone path was also cover in moss.I picked up the water/vinegar solution and a scrubber.I started working on the stone pavement,getting the moss off.

Some time later it was finally finished,the sun now brightly above my head.A few drops of sweat run down my forehead,my hand willing them off in an instant.

"Oi cadet!How is it going?"captain's voice said.

"So now you join me? It's been surely hours!"just breathe (F/N) don't let your anger take over you.He seemed to catch on my anger even though I tried my best to cover it.I felt a harsh grip on my chin,tilting it up where I met his cold eyes.I was still on my knees and his force hold didn't help.

"Why are you complaining cadet?I already told you I'd be joining you when it was possible."

"Couldn't you have joined me earlier,it surely wouldn't take you more than a few minutes to ensure Eren's safety."I spat at him.

"Now brat even if I didn't join you,you still would have to finish this garden.It's orders."he said releasing my chin from his grasp.My eyes shot daggers at him,only if he weren't my boss..."Anyways I'll help you finish so we can start training."he finished.Training?

"Training?Why?"I asked

"Because." he replied and began to pull on weeds from the garden.What an asshole.Having no other option I did too and almost an hour later we were done.

"Four-eyes must have finished now,I'll get the others,you though should wear your gear."

Truly in about a quarter of a clock we were standing all together for training.Apparently Eren didn't have any progress in transforming,now with a bangdaged hand.

"Warm up, we're doing hand to hand combat today.I'm pretty sure you know it isn't as important with titans but as a soldier you won't have to face only those.Hand to hand combat is something you should rely on when times get tough."said captain."Petra you're with Eren,Gunther you're with Oluo and (F/N) you're with me,I want to test your abilities."he finished,I suppose Eld was helping Hange with something.

Everyone got in a line,captain in front of me.I made sure to keep my ground while he was just there waiting for me to do something.I could hear everyone else grunting while they fought with eachother,yet me and Captain we're not rushing ourselves, circling around each other.

"Aren't you going to make a move on me captain?Afraid aren't we?"I said with a smirk and he scoffed.

"It's not my fucking skills that are being tested (F/N) so just start."he did have a point so with all my strength I went in with my right fist straight to his face,I already knew he'd avoid it so the moment he did I tripped him using my leg.He did however notice and he wasn't about to fall down,at least without me.His right hand grabbed my waist and I fell on top of him with a whelp.In my state of surprise he took both of my wrists,rolling over on my body pinning them over my head.I grunted,his smug face inches from my own,he really did have beautiful eyes.It looked as if I was defeated but I had another trick up my sleeve.Due to my years spent in the streets I had to learn how to adapt so I learnt how to slide over stuff,making me very flexible.Carefully, without him noticing I lifted my right foot from under him and brought it over his left side,me now rolling over him,in his now surprised state his grip on my hands loosened.I retrieved full control of my wrists so I yanked them off his palms completely.I grabbed each one of his hands and pinned them to his sides,now sitting on top of his waist.

"Shorty has lost finally!" a voice said,Hange.

"Tsk,you win cadet,now get off me."I did exactly as he said.He walked back into the castle after dismissing us.

"Oh my god (F/N)!Captain hasn't lost in hand to hand combat,like never!"Petra walked over to me.

"Really?"woah."Well there's a first for everyone,now let's go to eat I'm fucking starving."

After I showered and changed again,fucking Levi had to choose hand to hand combat the day I showered,I went to the kitchen to eat with the others,everyone was already in there eating.I joined in the conversation with Oluo about how wall Rose has little to no supplies left while eating.It wasn't so bad here after all...

Since Hange was joining us we had to add an other chair,with us moving around I ended up to the captain's left,a bit closer than I would have liked.I looked at Oluo across from me and flashed him small smile.After we finished I joined Hange to their laboratory,them explaining me what happened today,Eren and the others will experiment more in the evening.They asked me if I wanted to join them but I said no,I wanted to relax for the rest of the day,maybe read some more pages of my book.It was about a girl who was helplessly in love with someone she couldn't have,it was more of a diary to be honest.It tugged painfully on the strings of my heart for a reason.

"(F/N) I'm going to need your help in the library once four-eyes is gone."captain said opening the door of my room and I screeched.

"Captain what are you doing?I could have been bare!"who even does that?

"Nothing I haven't seen before now in about an hour I need you in the library, we're going to organise the books in alphabetical order and dust the shelves."I groaned but hid it with a cough.

"Yes captain."he nodded and left,as soon as he did I fell on my bed cursing at him.

It is now almost night,me and Levi have took out all the books off the selves.We are dusting the inside of the selves but I can't quite reach the top.Being 4'11 at eighteen isn't enjoyable,even the military's shorty is taller than you.

"What's wrong?"he asked,he must have saw me struggling to reach the top shelf on my tiptoes.

"It's nothing sir, it's just that I can't reach the top shelf don't worry though I'll just get on top of a chair."shrugging it off I started walking towards the end of the room where a stack of chairs was placed.

"Don't you dare step on a clean chair with your shoes.I'll just lift you."he said gabbing my waist with both hands and placing me on his right shoulder so easily,as if I weighted nothing.God how was he able to do it? Military training,the guy's probably shredded.No don't think about his body right now what the fuck.

"Uh alright,can you go to the left and as I clean move to the right?"I felt his head nod on the outside of my left thigh and I started moving.When I finished I felt the weight under me gone and in a matter of seconds I was on the ground with a big thud.

"What the fuck captain why'd you do that?"I said while getting up.

"Revenge for this morning."he walked off and towards the door.

"Asshole..."I said quietly to myself,or I thought so.

"What did you say?"fuck fuck fuck.

"Nothing sir."I replied my face getting red.

"Look cadet I don't know who you think you are but addressing your superiors like this is unacceptable."his words came off aggressively but his face stayed stone cold.

"Well I'm sorry but what am I supposed to say to someone who won't accept their defeat because they think they're so damn unbeatable?"I snapped and in seconds I was pinned to the wall next to the selves.

"This is the last time I'll go easy on you brat, I'm your captain and I demand respect."venom dripping from his words,his hands tugging hardly on my jaw.

"I only show respect when I know it'll be returned and with all honesty sir you've been quite an asshole to me today." I smirked and I felt a hand slap my cheek,not hard but enough to make me angry.

"What the fuck did you just say?"his eyes burning into mine.

"What the did you just do?"I bit back wiggling my way off his grasp,pushing him down with all my strength.I was on top of him now just like in training this morning.

He reached out to turn me around with his hands but I took them both and locked them behind my back.I knew I'd regret this later,but I was so damn mad.

"Cadet get off me right now and I'm willing to forget what happened today."he said scowling.

"There's no way in hell I'm doing that until you apologize for being an asshole."I replied smugly.He must've not liked that because next thing I knew I was under him,his nose grazing mine.I could feel his laboured breathing on my lips and a thought flashed in my mind.As soon as it did I pushed it away.

"Let me go!"my voice trembled from both fear and fury.His hand had clutched both my wrists in a tight grip,his other hand under my chin tilting it up so I wouldn't miss his eyes.I felt the steely gaze piercing through my (e/c) one.Without thinking I subconsciously looked down on his panting lips and returned my gaze back to his.His eyebrows slightly raised,his eyes now we're traveling down to my panting lips.I knew what was bound to happen any second right now.He slightly shifted, softening his grip on my wrists,his straight nose moved on top of mine,a ghost of a kiss lingered millimeters above my mouth.I closed my eyes waiting for him to lock our lips but that moment never came,on the contrary I heard a sound of steps nearing the door.Captain quickly rose to his feet,pulling me up with him.

"(F/N)! Captain!"Eren exclaimed.He seemed quite disappointed,I wondered if he failed again.

"Jaeger help (L/N) finish organising the books."he ordered and left the room.

Putting the books back in the shelves a realisation came upon me.He wanted to kiss me,and I was to kiss him back.

Dinner approached and everyone was in the kitchen eating except captain.

"Hey Petra do you know where captain is?"Gunther asked and she shrugged.

"He seemed angry so I don't know,he might not want to eat tonight."

"Why would he be angry though?"

"I don't know but (F/N) you were with him right?Did you guys fight?" Eren interrupted and I wanted to throw my spoon at him.We were great friends but he just doesn't know when to shut the fuck up.All eyes on me now.

"Well we did kind of have a disagreement." I said looking at my plate."It's okay I, I'll get him some tea and apologize."they all seemed content with my reply.

The tray wobbled in my hands,I reached his temporary office.Knocking twice I heard a voice behind the door say <<come in>> and so I did.

His gaze didn't falter when I stepped in,walking in a straight line after closing the door,I placed the tray on the desk before him.

"Sir,I would like to apologize for today's incident,I shouldn't have been disrespectful to you and I definitely do not want to be the reason you don't get to enjoy this evening with your comrades."I said and the bastard laughed.He laughed.I've never seen him laugh.That's when I noticed a bottle of dark liquid on the corner of the window behind him.

"Cut the bullshit (F/N) we both know you don't feel sorry for anything that happened today."he said,now I understand,his laugh was a mocking one.I mean he wasn't wrong,I only said that to avoid punishment.He sighed and motioned for me to get to the left side behind the desk so I did.Standing up from his seat,his palm cupped the side of my neck,bringing us closer.He didn't get to do anything else though because I took his face between my hands and pressed our lips together.I sighed into the kiss.He kissed me back,forcefully,teeth grazing my lips.Bevuase of my surprised state of teeth on my lips he took the opportunity to lift me up from my waist,sitting me on top of the desk and slipped his tongue in my mouth.He grunted when my hands left his face and went straight on his hair,running my fingertips over his undercut and tugging at the longer hair on top of it.Humming I slowly tore my lips from his,placing small kissed from his chin to his jaw where I traveled down to his neck,leaving opened mouthed kisses all around until I reached the collar of his shirt.My hands trembled while I unbuttoned the first three buttons off his shirt,moving the collar out of the way I attached my lips on the base of his neck,where it connected with his torso and sucked on the skin,slightly biting it.I was no strangers to lovebites.He sucked in a breathe.

"Fuuuuck." a throaty moan came out of him.I smiled to myself and continued with my work,leaving a few more marks to spots I knew his clothing would cover up.As I pulled away from his torso,I looked up at him.His eyes were full of lust,just like mine.I smiled devilishly at him,kissing him once again.We left the office discreetly and he led me to his room locking the door,pinning me against it.

"After all I don't think you mind discipline."Oh boy.

Streaks of blinding gold twinkled over my eyes the following morning.My face twisted,turning around I let my hand touch the bedding but instead it hooked over a hard surface.Then it hit me.Shit,shit,shit.Last night me...and captain...my eyes widened.Red faced me looked up,captain was sleeping with his hands under my waist.Moments of yesterday's interaction flew through my mind when I heard a groan leave his red lips.His hands tightened around my waist bringing me on top of him.That's when his eyes opened up and found my head in the crook of his neck.The muscles of his stomach tensed up.I rose up using the sheet to cover my chest.

"Uh goodmorning captain?"I said unsure of what to say.He grabbed my nape and forced me on his hard chest once more.

"Shut the fuck up."so he didn't want to talk about yesterday,okay he's saving me the embarrassment.His fingers combed through my hair and I hummed kissing the surface of his chest.He tilted my head up by my hair,I felt something harden against my thigh.Morning sex?Count me in.

When I was about to make a move someone knocked on captain's door.Panicking I pulled away and covered myself in the sheets leaving him naked.

"Captain it's almost nine in the morning,how come you haven't gotten up yet?"Petra.

"I have a headache Petra,I'll come down once the painkiller (L/N) gave me starts working."he replied.

"Oh,I'm sorry to hear that sir.I'll go and make you some tea."her steps became less and less loud until they were completely gone.

I covered him with the sheets and started putting on my clothes.After everything was on I turned to the captain.

"I better get going,see you later captain."I smiled and he nodded.Opening the door and making sure no one was around I returned to my room.Now what the fuck was all this?

Levi x Reader (F) Silent Treatment

genre: mild angst, fluff

summary: Levi says something in an argument and you decide to give him the silent treatment.

Tick, Tock.

All you could hear is the clock ticking as if time is rather slow, every second the same sound radiating. The room is engulfed by silence that even the faintest of sounds reach your ears.

Two days after the most recent expedition, here you are, sitting on the couch by the lance corporal’s desk. It’s been two days and Humanity’s Strongest is still working himself out with a bundle of papers.

You glance at him with pure concern. His steely eyes are severely shadowed, a mixture of purple and grey forming under them. His ebony hair a mess as strands fail to form their usual shape. His desk is chaotic, with papers falling off to the floor, whether scanned or not.

You feel your chest tighten at the sight. This is no good. Two days have passed since everyone returned from the outside and he has not gotten any better. It’s understandable to work himself out the first day, but today shouldn’t be this much hard on him as well. He needs rest, and plenty of them.

You prep yourself as you stand up to try and convince the poor man out of his seemingly hell office. This will cause him no benefit.

“Levi,” you approach the Captain calmly, “what do you say we get out and drink some tea for a while to get you a few rest? Yes?” you smile in all hopes that he’d agree and choose to come with you.

He raises his head to look at you, and as your eyes connect with his, it’s like a thousand daggers stabbed your heart. He’s so exhausted but he doesn’t want to show it. “As much as I would like your offer, there’s still more unfinished work here and I don’t want to go slacking off without complying. But thank you otherwise.”

You are not going to give up on this.

“Levi, there are other days to do this. You don’t have to overwork yourself, in fact, you won’t finish early if you do work without any energy at all,” convincing him is one way. You wish he would just give in but he continues to sign the paper he’s previously reading, and then another, and another.

He stays quiet, not saying anything back to your proposal. He’s fixed with his rejection, but you have your spirit.

“I’m atleast going to get you your tea,” you walk away, leaving his office and sighing once you close the door behind you.

You don’t want to force him out of his state because that might stress him more, so you’ll continue to try your luck by offering and offering again.

You head to the kitchen to make a freshly brewed tea for your lover. You see Hange discussing something with the commander at the table. When Erwin sees you, he immediately asks the Captain’s whereabouts.

“He’s… still doing paperwork,” you sadly inform. Everybody’s well aware that expeditions will never avoid casualties and the responsibilities that will be dragged along with it.

“Shorty must be working himself off, huh,” Hange adjusts her glasses. You know they’re concerned for the Captain as well, even though they don’t say anything more about it.

“I’ll go now,” you smile before walking back to the office, holding Levi’s tea. You know the way he makes his tea, and he wants it perfect. Aside from himself, the only person he allows to make tea for him is you. You pray this would get him away from his desk.

Without the need to knock, you enter the room, flashing a small grin while walking up to the Captain.

“Here, I brought you some tea, it’s still hot so be extra careful.” It’s difficult finding a place for the teacup since documents are everywhere, but you clean up a spot and try to help in organizing his work.

“Thanks,” is the only thing that comes out of his mouth. Disappointed, you slowly turn your back to him, taking a step toward the couch again, but you stop midways.

“Can you lay beside me in 10? I found difficulty sleeping last night and I think I should get some rest since I have nothing else to do, and you should definitely get rest, too, so?” you suggest, not giving up on the sleep deprived man although the idea is a little weak and stupid so you know he is going to refuse right away.

“Go get your rest, I can’t leave this,” he says, not even lifting his gaze to you. You see how he still pulled off his usual nonchalant expression, nonetheless you could see right through him.

“Can I atleast help you out in any way?” you wish he would say yes, but for god’s sake, he shakes his head, holding his ground, “I don’t need your help,” as he mutters your name, his tone begins to turn so cold.

“But Levi… look at you, you’re a mess! You get no sleep these past nights, and you haven’t even eaten lunch yet! I get how this is important but you need to take care of yourself. Please—”

“Will you quit bothering me even just for once in your life?” He seethes vehemently, massaging his temples as he asks for his very own version of peace.

With that you fall silent, taken aback. Every word he insinuated stings really hard like there’s venom in it. You want to speak up for yourself and explain what you want for him, but he’s way too fixated with his objective to finish his work that he doesn’t even realize that he has caused you pain within just a few words.

You stare at the raven head dumbfoundedly, looking for words to say but you just can’t find your voice. Opening your mouth to speak is no avail. The dead silence dominates once again.

You finally decide to leave the room. Maybe it’s best you give him what he wants.

Levi thinks this it’s best, too, since he needs concentration and craves focus in hopes of lifting his conscience by clearing his responsibilities regarding every fallen soldier’s death. He doesn’t mean any harm to you. No, he would never want that. But his desire to fulfill his tasks has quite blinded him.

He raises his head to look at you, noticing your sudden silence. You’re about to turn around at the moment, but your glistening eyes fail to escape his sight.

His heart wretches by the view. You crying is the last thing he wants, especially if it’s because of him. But he’s frozen and unable to move. He’s too much of a coward to speak up and stop you from your track.

This really is his fault. All this time what you have been implying was for him to unwind even for a bit, yet all he did was ignore your sweet concern.

Your heavy footsteps echoed around the room. Tears have already fallen from your misty orbs, eventually dropping to the floor.

His attempt to call you out and apologize immediately after he lashed out is unsuccessful. You’re gone and not another word left one’s lips after what he said.

He places his palm across his face out of frustration. Too late is what he is right now. He fails to function more and more after minutes passed. He tries to go on with his work but he keep remembering the scene with you earlier. How your beautiful face of hope turned into an expression of agony and pain. None of this helps, “I have to fix this,” he murmurs to himself, afraid that you might grow distant as time passes by.

—

You wipe your eyes, fixing your appearance in an attempt to look decent before going to the mess hall to get your dinner.

Armin approaches you first, asking your condition. You’re clueless about what condition it is that he means but you figure it’s probably his immediate observation of your feelings at the second.

“Are you alright?” His eyes are curious and concerned, but you wave him off with a small smile, “I’m fine, Armin. You get too observant at times, don’t you? What’s for dinner?”

Joining the others, you eat slowly. You can’t help but think of your partner. This causes your stomach to swirl. You try your best to get him out of your mind.

“These mashed potatoes are awesome!” Sasha exclaims, munching like lightning. Christa giggles, finding Sasha’s addiction with potatoes adorable.

Eren smiles but stays quiet. Seems he is still affected by the previous expedition. He catches you looking at him and you smile.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asks. You nodded and ask him back, “How about you? Haven’t moved on from recently?”

He gives a small reassuring smile, “I’m coping.”

Conversations came and went. Everyone returns to their quarters to get some sleep, and you’re left all alone. The deafening sound of silence has dominated your ears. You heave out a sigh.

You finally erased Levi from your head for a while, but when you go to the kitchen for a tea, you almost immediately spot across the room the man you’re so desperately trying to avoid, sipping his own cup of tea while leaning against the table. It’s the one you made for him earlier, you could tell by the choice of teacup. But shouldn’t it be cold by now?

Abort.

You try to leave unnoticed but you hear him call you.

“Speak to me,” his tired eyes bore to your own broken ones, secretly pleading you to talk to him. He had dismissed his uniform jacket and only wore his undershirt. The sight of him just has to tear your heart into several pieces. You need to stay strong. You don’t want to shatter in front of him, or you’ll only end up burdening him.

I’m just a bother, after all.

You refuse to talk, so you leave the room in a rush. You feel your eyes mist again. You blink a few times to stop the tears from forming and run to the women’s quarters instead of Levi’s room, the one you both share every night without hitch.

The bed below Mikasa’s has been vacant ever since you stayed in Levi’s room. In your head, you thank all the walls that no one new had been recruited to your squad so that you can still use your bed from before for desperate times like this.

Everyone else is already asleep so you don’t have to answer their interrogations about what a miracle it is for you to spend the night in your old bed, without the Captain.

As you lay down, you close your eyes in hopes of falling asleep quickly, but your bed just feels lonely and sad. The mattress feels emptier than ever, and the atmosphere in the room feels dark, even if your comrades are complete in the same room.

You begin to toss and turn, recalling the scenes from earlier. This isn’t any help, but then again, being in the same room as Levi won’t do any of you good. You’d just distract him, like what you can only do.

On the other hand, behind your locked doors stands Levi, aiming to knock. And he did, but no one responds. Why? Why did you not respond? He knew you went there. He just knows it, because where else would you be? He knocks one more time and that’s when he guesses that you might be sleeping already. He knows better than to disrespect his other comrades’ privacy and enter without permission. With his conclusion, he finally heads back to his room and tries to finish all the messy paperwork, looking at the door once in a while, hoping for you to enter and ask him to rest with you. But you didn’t.

Tick, Tock.

The sound of the clock’s hands ticking feeds on the silence of the room. You wake up and there’s light already.

You shoot up from the bed. Mikasa is already awake, as you know she is the earliest of birds. She looks at you with amusement, and you roll your eyes.

“What in the world happened between you and Captain Levi for you to come back here?” she asks. You answered her with a grimace.

You change back into a spare uniform you had left in the quarters before heading to the mess hall once again. Levi is already there, seated with Erwin and the others. Hange offers you a seat unfortunately across Levi which you accept defeatedly, for there are no more available seats anywhere. Avoiding him is hard, and you should probably deal with constantly encountering him today. You have duties like cleaning in the morning and training after lunch, so a lingering Captain is not unnatural.

“What time did you sleep last night?” Levi asks, which you ignore. You scoop the hot soup and blow the steam off before sipping it. “Answer me,” no one could hear you conversing—scratch that—him speaking. Everyone from the table had a discussion that doesn’t include yhe two of you.

“Why did you not answer my knocks?” he asks once more but you only sip your tea. You so desperately wanted to answer him with a sarcastic, “because maybe I’m asleep, don’t you think?” but you stop yourself from doing so and stayed quiet.

His eyebrows twitch in annoyance. You think he has to deal with this. And he will, because there’s no way your pride will let you talk to him. Although you’re tough enough to convince yourself not to say a single word to him, you still feel guilt rushing through your veins. Aren’t times like these the times when you should understand him the most and swallow your pride?

But he said it himself didn’t he? He wants you to get off of his neck and quit pestering him, and you’re just one to follow.

You shake the thought away and continue eating. Soon after you finish, you all proceed to your cleaning duties. Apparently and unluckily, as if fate just doesn’t want to cooperate with you, you‘re assigned to clean the Captain’s room which is just downright unfair. At this point, talking to him will be inevitable.

You sigh exasperatedly with cleaning equipment in your hands. You try to convince Jean who hates cleaning the stables to exchange tasks, but he says he’d prefer picking horseshit with his bare hands than have to clean the Captain’s office. Aside from him, no one wants to swap tasks with you, knowing how hard it is to satisfy the Captain with some mediocre cleaning skills.

Accepting defeat once again, you knock three times before waiting for Levi’s reply, “name and business,” his certain cold voice replies.

“It’s me, I was assigned to clean your office.” Silence follows. You figure that you should enter and you don’t fail to notice the slightest smirk in Levi’s lips.

What an asshole.

Brushing aside the man’s presence, you go on and start sweeping the floor. You just want to finish this quickly to be able to get away from him.

“You’re sweeping too fast, you’re not picking up all the dust,” Levi remarks. You furrow your brows and roll your eyes heavenwards in total annoyance, “do it all over again,” he orders.

And you obey, quietly. Besides, it wouldn’t favor you if you object. You’d have to speak.

Meanwhile, Levi couldn’t take his eyes off you. He’s supposed to finish his “work” today but his mind is somewhere else. Of course he hasn’t forgotten yesterday. But what he said was not his intention.

You begin to mop.

“Did you wash that with soap?” he asks which you, once again, ignore. This is getting on his nerves. He wants to hear your voice. He wants to say he was sorry, but he couldn’t pick up the strength to do so because he’s afraid. Afraid he might hurt you again with his reckless words. Actually, no. He’s more than certain that he’d never throw you such words again. Rather, he’s more afraid that you would just shrug off his apology and keep giving him the cold shoulder. Then, he chooses not to speak anymore. Silence engulfs the room.

Tick, tock.

Once you finish cleaning, you leave the room. He didn’t even try to stop you from leaving or even just speak again. Why would he even do that anyways?

Afternoon comes and training quickly starts. Your hand to hand combat with Eren attracted a lot of attention from your mates. You’re now sweaty, fists tightly balled mid air. Eren’s fighting stance is now a little sloppy as he catches his breath. You chuckle at the sight. It’s now time to end this battle before he gets exhausted even more, you think with pure concern, an image of a tired Eren flashing through your head.

“Oi! Finish this already!” Jean cheers, on your side.

“You have to beat her, Eren! She just becomes stronger and stronger every session!” Sasha jokingly shouts with Armin laughing a bit on his own.

As the fight becomes more and more heated, you aim for his guts in the stomach as you perform a perfect uppercut once he’s distracted. And of course, you eventually win with that final move. He lays on the ground helplessly, not being able to stand up for ten seconds.

You offer your hand to him. He accepts it and you help him stand up. Slowly, the crowd gathered around you disperses and goes their separate ways. You stay with Eren. You’re fond of talking with your opponent right after a match like this.

“You seriously have to teach me some of your skills!” Eren says, catching his breath. You’re both heading inside.

You chuckle, “You’re getting better, kid,” you ruffle his hair. His shoulders slump down in annoyance. He’s well aware that he’s far from your abilities, not to mention, you’re the second in command of the Captain.

“I don’t understand how you’re shorter than I am, but you still manage to beat me and ruffle my hair like this!” You both laugh at his statement.

From your peripheral vision, you see Levi standing with crossed arms by your far left, looking at you and your companion. His dark aura radiates, taking over the atmosphere of the open field. Something tells you that he’s awfully jealous, but for what reason? Eren quickly notices.

“Hey, I think you should go to Captain right now, I don’t want him to think…” he hesitantly states.

“No, it’s okay,” you calmly assure him. A few moments later and it’s already dinner time, and you proceed to the mess hall once again.

You sit beside Eren, conversing with him about a couple of military equipment. You notice that Levi sit in front of you again, but you pay no attention, even though guilt cripples through your veins. You always sit beside him every meal, but for the fourth time, you don’t.

You continue to discuss about certain materials that the 3DMG is composed of, educating Eren of their functions. As you sip on your tea, you notice Levi staring firmly at you, his gaze never leaving. But you refuse to acknowledge his steel grey eyes, standing by your principle of giving him the silent treatment.

You finish your meal and get up to bring your plates to the sink. Just as you’re about to leave, you’re approached by the sight of your Captain glaring at your soul.

You’re at a loss for words. Not that you want to talk anyway.

“I’m telling you, if you still don’t speak to me…” he says, blocking your way.

Levi crosses his arms. “You’re enjoying the whole day with that brat, aren’t you?” he begins to converse. “What are you even talking about? The both of you? You were talking non-stop, woman.” You stare at him with an emotionless expression. Slight anger and frustration dance in his tired and sleepless eyes. This only confirms your thoughts from earlier that he is, indeed, jealous. “And you even ended that match with him because you didn’t want to drain his energy,” he adds. He knows, he can read his lovely, caring girl so well. You care about everyone half the time, and he doesn’t want to admit, but right now, he is jealous.

He’s wearing his white button down shirt and suspenders. He has never failed to attract you with even the most common outfits and uniform. How can he be just so hot?

You shake your thoughts away, trying to walk past him but he grips your wrist and pulls you back in front of him. “Tell me, have you perhaps… had a change of heart?” Surprised, you quickly look at your lover’s eyes, and find they’re filled with loneliness and sorrow. You feel your heart shattering into thin little shreds. I can’t handle this sight!

You weaken with his touch, you want to tell him no, you could never do that and that you love him and him only, but you stay silent that you’re almost convinced you were now mute.

“Shit,” he curses, ruffling his hair out of frustration before he drags you away from that place. Your heart races and you couldn’t think straight. You miss him, and you can’t deny how hard a day is without him.

Tick, Tock.

The next thing you know you’re in his immensely cold and silent office, pinned to the wall like a prey being feasted on by its predator.

“You’re driving me crazy, and I hate it, woman,” his eyes are dark, like his emotions have been making him lose it. You look away, avoiding his gaze but to no avail. He lifts your chin and direct your face to his.

“Look, this cold treatment you’re giving me is not helping anyone. I’m more distracted than I could ever be and I haven’t finished the same damn pile of paperwork from yesterday until now. So just talk to me, and let’s get out off this mess,” he calmly states in a quiet manner, as if trying to own his mistakes by acting well behaved.

By this time, you know he already regrets his previous actions. And even though you’re no stranger to Levi’s tall walls and his apathetic behavior, you just had to make him voice out his apologies.

“Speak…” You look at him in his eyes filled with mixed emotions. Rage, loss, guilt, sorrow, doubt. You’re the only one among everyone who can see this because you’re the only one he can be vulnerable with. Once again, you feel your heart break into pieces.

“Levi…” His face lightened up with your call. Your voice is soft and mellow. Finally, you spoke! It was such a torture, a day without your beautiful voice. The poor Captain is glad to hear you again, but is taken aback by your next words, so he cuts you off before you could even finish. “Maybe we should just—”

“Fuck! Wait! Don’t fucking do this to me, I’m sorry! I’m a jerk… I know, I know. Give me another chance, hey…” Your eyes widen at his pleas. Overflowing fear and nervousness are written in his misty steel orbs. He frantically holds your hands and you could feel his desperation.

“What?” you ask in genuine confusion. You’re glad he said his sorries, but why is he acting like you were going to leave him?

“Come on… don’t you dare leave me. I’m sorry.” And there you could tell how afraid he is. He’s afraid by your choice of words, he thought you were going to leave him and now he’s so desperate of making you stay.

You slowly rest your palms on his cheeks, “Levi… you got this wrong, I was just going to—” He places his hands on top of yours before interrupting again.

“Hey… you don’t have to end things, let’s not be so sudden with our decisions and let’s talk about this—” his voice is weak and silent that you can’t bear it anymore. “Levi! I am not going to end things and leave you! Have you gone crazy?” you scold in a manner of wishing he would just stop panicking.

“I was going to say that maybe we should just be careful next time and not be so reckless with our words. You just didn’t let me finish!” you chuckle as you notice his realization. He winces, his glowing eyes now dried from the threatening tears. You’re glad not a single drop escaped, you can’t see him crying or you’ll lose it.

“Fuck, I sounded so desperate,” he hisses and averts his gaze, making you drop your hands. You can almost feel your heart melt. He regrets his mistakes and at the same time, he’s horrified to lose you.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles in an almost inaudible tone. You want him to look you in the eye. His apathetic self have caused him to say the expression almost never, and you want to feel his sincerity in a rare occasion like this. You guide his face to your own. “What is it? I didn’t hear,” you tease, playing innocent.

He grimaces, an indication that he doesn’t want to repeat. But for you, he will. “I said I’m sorry, so don’t do that again,” his tone returns to his popular authoritative one, and at that moment you know you should obey.

“Don’t do what?” You bite your lips to stifle a smirk. He is so amusing when helpless, you’re beginning to think this was a good idea!

“Give me the cold shoulder like I’m some stranger or whatever the fuck,” he furrows his brows as he glares straight into your eyes.

“Alright, Captain.” You giggle and tiptoe to reach his soft lips with your own, kissing him intensely like how you missed him. And he answers your kisses like how he missed you, too.