Johnny Suh Au - Tumblr Posts

He was addictive

Johnny x reader

Summary: You felt like you have loved Johnny since forever. But why would he like you back? So you opted to simply stay friends with him.

Warnings: mentions of drugs

Genre: Angst

Word count: 1k (1047 words)

A/N: I suggest you listen to  “ High Enough - K.Flay (RAC Remix) // slowed.” as i got a lot of inspiration from it!

~~~~~~~~~~            

The car the two of you were in slowed down and eventually came to a stop. You glanced at him and back at the beautiful scenery in front of you. In all honestly, you couldn’t decide who was more beautiful. Him or the scenery.  

You both opened the car doors, leaving them open so that the music you played could be heard outside too. You were alone there, so it’s not like you would disturb anyone else. The sweet ambience of the music paired with the sound of the wind and nature made you relax, as you leaned on the windshield, Johnny didn’t mimic your actions, which gave you the chance to stare at his back.

You had admitted it to yourself long ago. You liked him. No, scratch that, you loved him. But how could you not? Literally everyone liked him for obvious reasons. He is so kind, so fun to be around, so understanding. As his longtime friend, you got to know him even better than what others did and you obviously fell deeper for him.

What he thought was awkward, cringy or a flaw was the thing you adored the most about him. You loved how he acted around people he doesn’t know well, you loved how he wasn’t afraid to show who he really is when he was around his closest friends, you loved how he wasn’t afraid to show vulnerability when he was around you. You loved every side of him.

He was sweet and caring to everyone, but it still made you feel a certain type of way when he acted like that to you. You have experienced so many things with Johnny, he has seen you at your best and your worst. You have seen him at his best and worst too. But other than you, he had other close friends too, who have also seen all his sides.

But how does he always make you feel unique? It’s the way he pays his undivided attention to you when you speak. It’s the way he holds you close when you feel broken. It’s the way he smiles at you, the way he laughs at your jokes.

You’re not sure when you fell for him, but it feels like it had always been like this. Being away from him always made you sad. It didn’t simply make you sad, it hurt you. Johnny was like a drug to you. No actual drug could make you feel so high, as when you were around him. He was addictive and you couldn’t help but constantly want to be around him.

People have needs and have to fulfill them. Just like the need for food, people search for the best product that will fulfill it. If they can’t afford the best one, they turn to lower quality products that could at least fulfill a part of their needs. Similarly, you tried dating other people. But they were all low quality products. You will never feel fully satisfied unless you get the highest quality product. To you, Johnny was the highest quality product.

You could never see anyone other than him. To you, it was only him, him, him. He was always your priority. Over almost anyone else and if someone made you choose between him and another important to you person, you’d split yourself into two just to make sure you were there for the both of them. You just can’t put anyone over Johnny.

You were his priority too. One of his priorities at least. He would try to split himself in order to be there for you too. But… knowing that you’d still forgive him if he didn’t choose you, you’d probably tell him prioritize others over you. Prioritize those he was more afraid of losing. Because he wasn’t afraid of losing you. It’s not that he took you for granted, it’s just that he knew how much you cared for him.

But if he knew, wouldn’t he have realized that you had feelings for him by now? You don’t know if he chooses to ignore them for the sake of your friendship or because he is oblivious, but you believe that it was most likely that he ignored them. He probably knew that if he brought it up, it would ruin the dynamics of your friendship.

Because, let’s be honest, Johnny could never see you the way you see him. He is too perfect and you’re too average. So you decided it’s better to have him in your life as a friend than not have him at all and get rejected.

“Did you ever hear a thing of what I said?” Johnny joked and you finally stopped daydreaming. “No, I’m sorry I was deep in thought.” You said shaking your head.

“I figured,” he chuckled and took a good look at you, who was staring at the scenery in front of you.

“Hey, what’s on your mind?” he said and you waved a hand dismissively. “It’s nothing, what were you talking about?”

“No no, missy, we are gonna talk about this. Seriously, what’s on your mind?”

You sighed. You can’t tell him. You can’t tell him that all that has been in your mind was him. That it was you hoping you’d ever get to kiss his pretty pink lips. That you’ll one day be able to taste them. You can’t tell him that you’ve been thinking of the two of you together, him not seeing anyone other than you just like how you do for him.

Oh, how you wished you were the water bottle he held in his hand, slowly raising to his lips. When he offered you some, you refused, but then cursed at yourself for missing a chance of an indirect kiss. But it’s not like you two never share bottles, so you’ll have this chance again in the future.

You opt for the easy way out, telling him you’re just stressed about a few responsibilities you had to take care of, but that it will go away and that he has no reason to worry. He doesn’t seem to believe you, but he lets it go for the moment and you go back to your daydreaming as soon as he turns his gaze away from you.

The Model and The Stylist

Hello there! Finally, my first story post! Sorry for the delay, but I was busy with work as always, and I was feeling down for the past couple of days. Anyway, I decided to share this first because your boy’s been getting a lot of exposure lately – modeling, that is. That W Korea May 2020 editorial with Jaehyun is so divine that your girl pre-ordered her copy even if it will take her maybe until the end of the year to get it. See that GIF? Damn! 

This story was based on the story of one of my characters in my original story written ages ago for a friend, and I’m glad that something came out of it now. 

You’ll also get to meet Essie Park now, my Y/N that got a name. I might still post my first stories with Y/N in it, so look out for that. I hope you’ll enjoy and let me know what scenarios you’d like me to write about. 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)  

–––

Summary: Let’s keep it simple: this is an AU where OC is a fashion editor/stylist, and Johnny is a model. 

Word count: 1,600 + words 

Genre: Romance, Comedy 

Warning: It’s so fluffy and cheesy, you might as well think you’re munching on cheese popcorn. But I think this is my specialty so...yeah. 

–––

Essie decided that from this day onward, she would make Johnny’s life a living hell. 

He was one of the most uncooperative models she has ever met – he didn’t bring what was needed, didn’t arrive on time, and didn’t listen to her instructions. 

Even though she was a fashion assistant at the magazine she was working for, he didn’t give her the respect she needed for her job. 

Instead, he bossed her around – asking her to buy him Starbucks, charge his gadgets, and even get him a top that he could use to his next event. 

“Cheska, I need more coffee. Can you buy me another iced Americano, please? With more hazelnut syrup too,” he ordered with that sickeningly sweet tone of his. 

“My name is not Cheska!” she roared before storming out of the set. She wasn’t even halfway through the shoot and he had already worked her like his slave. 

When she got inside the coffee shop, she went on autopilot and ordered his drink of choice. As she stepped out with the drink on hand, she slapped her forehead in annoyance. “I should’ve tampered with his drink to get even with him!” She grumbled, staring at the iced drink in disdain. “Unless…” Her thoughts led her to some of the cruelest pranks she has seen until she figured out what she can do with his coffee. 

Once back on set, she decided to do the classic prank: accidentally throw the drink all over him. It was a good thing that he was still wearing his regular clothes or else she’ll pay the price for damaging designer goods. She couldn’t help but smile evilly at his drenched figure. He was wearing an all-white outfit and she felt satisfied knowing it has turned into a brown mess. 

She might be celebrating a small victory now, but Johnny won’t let her get away with it. 

He swore as well that he would make Essie’s life a living hell. 

\\\

Unfortunately, they worked with each other again. And again. Even Essie’s side projects with her friends in the creative industry. 

Johnny was always the available model who was game to do experimental shoots. 

The two tried their best to downplay their pranks – Essie once poked him a couple of times with safety pins as she adjusted the excess fabric of his clothes. He wouldn’t stay put, which made her more intent to push the pins deeper into his skin. 

“Don’t you even dare try, you cocky bastard,” she grumbled, purposely poking his sides with the pin. 

“I could file a complaint against you,” he whispered in her ear, making the hairs behind her neck stand. He was dangerously close to her, and she noticed that he was about to wrap an arm around her waist. 

“You think I’m scared? I’m not,” She gently pushed him away from her as she locked the pin in place. 

“I’ll make you,” he responded, gripping her arm. “But now, I won’t because I look good in this outfit you picked.” He admired the work she did in front of the full-length mirror and she rolled her eyes in response. 

There was a time that Johnny always set the cable of one of the camera lights for Essie to trip on. He would deliberately stretch his legs to do so or even use his hand to place it to where she’ll be coming from. 

The girl tripped a couple of times and didn’t mind it at first. But when she noticed him sniggering after her fifth trip, that’s when she realized he was behind this. Essie stormed towards him and glared daggers at him.

“You think this is funny, Suh?” she muttered, folding her arms over her chest. He nodded, trying his best not to laugh. “You’re such an immature brat,” were the last words she said before she walked over the cable and glared at him once again. 

\\\

Over time, Essie and Johnny decided to call their feud a truce. It took some mental toll on the girl to prank him. She was already tired from the demands of her job and she had to think of ways on how to make his life as miserable as she could.

The same could be said for him – he was getting more projects now that he has become popular. In fact, he is slowly dabbling into the entertainment industry as a budding actor. 

Since both of them were close to her friends in the industry, they met each other again for dinner. 

It was during this moment that they got to know each other better – they were so similar that their friends thought they were perfect for each other. 

“I think you two should date,” Kibum, a fashion stylist, suggested. “As much as it pains me to admit this, but yes, you two should definitely go out,” Ten, a jewelry designer, agreed. 

Ten and Johnny were the closest in the group and sometimes Essie teased them about their skinship. 

The two subjects looked at each other disbelievingly before bursting into laughter. 

“Seriously guys?” Johnny and Essie asked the people on their table, who nodded in unison. 

Eventually, they would eat their words after a heated argument on another shoot. 

“You are so annoying, Suh! Why can’t you just give me the respect I deserve?” Essie was on the verge of tears, frustrated at how uncooperative Johnny was on set. 

It felt like they were back to square one. The 6-footer would boss her around and give mean comments about the outfits that she chose. “I look like a firefighter in that, and I mean that in a bad way,” he wrinkled his nose in disgust at the red and yellow outfit she chose. 

“That was the instruction from the style sheet, dude. Get over it. You’ve worn much weirder things than this,” Essie was losing her patience as she shoved the outfit in his hands. 

“But you could’ve done better,” he said matter-of-factly, gazing into her brown eyes. “You’re already known for your work but you settled for this mediocrity,” Johnny eyed the outfit in disgust. 

“Ugh! I’ve had it with you!” The girl screamed, earning the looks of the crew as she exited the studio. 

She thought they were already on good terms. They’ve been hanging out a lot more after work – opting to watch the last showing of movies, drinking coffee at 3 in the morning, and even driving around until the wee hours of the morning while listening to the latest album releases. 

Essie felt her heart ache when he treated her like a slave again. The tears rolled down her cheeks and she wiped them away with the back of her hand. She had the urge to smoke but remembered that her kit was inside her bag. 

She was about to return to the studio but he was already there, looking apologetic. 

“What do you want, Suh?” She asked harshly, not looking at his face.

“Hey, I’m sorry for what I said earlier,” he started, walking closer to her. She saw his feet approach her and before she could back away, he already held her wrists. 

“I didn’t mean to upset you, but I mean it when I said that you could’ve done better.” 

She looked at him with all the rage she could muster, even if tears were threatening to spill on her face again.

“Why can’t you just say it like a normal person?” Essie was already sniffing. 

“Because it is never simple with us,” he said softly, now leaning closer to her face. “We always complicate things even if we shouldn’t.”

“Then why don’t we just–––” She was cut off when he kissed her. 

Time slowed as they kissed under the starry sky. It wasn’t as romantic as Essie wanted it to be – they were outside the studio where the air was polluted with smoke and rubbish was almost everywhere. 

When they broke apart, Johnny pulled her closer to him. “Let’s just simplify things. I’ve been attracted to you from the start, Ms. Park,” he said, tilting her chin so she could look at him. 

“You stole the words right out of my mouth, Mr. Suh,” she replied, a grin spreading across her face. “But not the attraction part. I thought you were a big piece of poo,” she stuck out her tongue at him and he pinched her side in response. 

“I admit that seeing you mad was cute but not all the time. You can be scary too, you know,” he said, looping both arms around her waist. 

“Well duh! Is there anyone who isn’t scary when they’re mad?”

Johnny just laughed and squeezed her. “I just want us to be together. Our friends were right – we are perfect for each other,” he looked down on her with the gentlest smile on his face.

Essie felt her cheeks flush and looked away from him. “So what are you going to do about this?” 

“I’m going to tell everyone that we’re dating now.” With those words, he led her back into the studio and announced to everyone that they were dating. 

The crew was overjoyed when they heard this – one of them screamed ‘Finally!’ with all his might. Essie’s boss ordered a giant pizza enough to feed them for days and the photographer got three cases of beer. 

It may seem like another day in the life of a fashion editor and a model wrapping up another all-nighter shoot, but for Johnny and Essie, today was the day they finally came to their senses and became the most adorable (if not sometimes obnoxious) couple the world has ever seen.

–––

FIN

Do I Wanna Know?

This is the first Johnny and Essie fic that I’ve written officially, and I was greatly challenged by my first audience who happens to be my childhood best friend to do this. According to the postscript of my draft, this was quite taxing to write. 

I wasn’t that in love with Johnny yet when I wrote this last year, hence that reaction. But it’s a whole new different story now. How can I not fall in love with him looking at me like that in the GIF?!

I hope you enjoy this dramatic piece, and then we’ll get to the point where they finally get together with the help of their other best friend. 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

–––

Summary: Best friends Johnny and OC (or are they still?) become awkward with each other when he confesses his love to her. Despite their situation, they manage to talk to avoid conflict with their other best friend, since they don’t want to ruin their friendship with him. 

POV: 2nd person. I switch between this and 3rd person a lot. 

Word count: 1,300 + words

Genre: Romance, Angst, Hurt 

Warning: You get to meet other idols in this fic too and another OC who I hinted at in my Preface post. I hope you like their presence here! 

Recommended listening: Of course, ‘Do I Wanna Know?’ by the Arctic Monkeys (which Johnny has also mentioned in NNN), and ‘In My Place’ by Coldplay (which is Johnny’s favorite band). In short, both songs are highly recommended by the man! 

–––

It has been two weeks since you and Johnny talked.

You weren’t used to not messaging or calling him daily, but what happened between the two of you was something you haven’t fully processed yet.

He admitted that he likes you more than just a friend. And if you were just completely honest with yourself, you know that you like him in that same way too.

You looked at the phone in your hand, its screen still black. No one was messaging or calling you. When you and Johnny were talking, your screen was bright and alive with his presence.

He often called to share whatever he was doing so he wouldn’t lose his English speaking ability. On the other hand, you called him usually in the wee hours of the morning so the stray dogs that litter the streets won't distract you. You were glad that he always picked up the phone when you needed him the most, but now you can’t say the same.

You sighed, looking around the apartment for something to do. Nini and Jongin were out at a charity event, probably painting newly-built houses in an impoverished community. Taemin was busy as always with his dancing, and Mark was out of town. Who can you bother today? You searched your phone for your contacts until it landed on Key’s name.

Of course, Kibum. The fabulous brother that you and Johnny never had. But now that you and Johnny aren’t on speaking terms (still), how can you invite Key to hang out? He knows that you function well as a trio, and it feels incomplete without one or the other. You were afraid to call Key, for he might be out with his other friends or – the ultimate top 10 anime betrayal – he’s with Johnny.

As you exited the contacts on your phone, it rang. You didn’t answer it first since you wanted to listen to the ringtone he assigned his number to. The first verses of ‘Do I Wanna Know?’ by the Arctic Monkeys sent shivers to your spine, as you thought of Johnny doing those things to you.

Oh God, he might be on to something then when he set this on my phone ages ago, you thought. Maybe that was the time he realized his feelings for you, while you still hid yours deep in the recesses of your heart.

When the song reached the chorus, you finally answered.

“Hello, Johnny?”

“Hey, Essie,” he mumbled. You could imagine him slumped against a wall, one of his hands deep in his hoodie’s pocket.

“What can I do for you?” You tried to sound casual, but it didn’t come across that way. You felt you were on the verge of tears.

“Hey, I know this is hard…not just for you, but also for me but…do you mind if I drop by your house tonight? So we can talk?” His voice mirrored yours, and you couldn’t help but bite your lip on how painful it is to hear him like this.

“Sure, Johnny, please do,” was all you can say before he hung up. The tears have already spilled on your face, and you had to stifle your scream on a pillow to let it all out.

///

He brought your favorite food: kimchi and ice cream. You were speechless, not expecting that he’ll bring anything to his visit tonight. He spoiled you a lot, whether that’s getting you food or giving you random gifts that he thinks you’ll like. You had to remind yourself that things weren’t what they were, and maybe he did this out of respect or etiquette.

You didn’t know where to start once the both of you settled on your respective seats – you on the couch and him on the bean bag across you. “So, what do you want to talk about first?” You asked, arms clutching the pillow you cried onto tighter.

“Well...you know we’re La Fabuleux Escouade with Kibum. And he doesn’t know what I did…to you. And I don’t know how we can retain our dynamic…” He was fiddling with his thumbs while he said this, looking away from your stare.

You found it amusing that the two of you were on the same wavelength, as you were already thinking about how you can bring this up to Kibum.

“I know what you mean, but what if we…pretend that nothing happened?” You suggested, not really thinking it through. You know that you don’t want that – you want the two of you to be more than okay, and Key will be there for you guys through sickness and health.

You saw him flinch at your answer but then composed himself as it was his turn to look at you. “Nothing…happened? Just like that?” His quavering voice made you nervous that he might do something he will regret.

“I don’t know, Johnny! What do you think we should do?” You didn’t hide the frustration in your voice anymore.

“Haven’t you thought about it? The words I said? The possibility of us?” Johnny was now standing in front of you, tears about to fall from his face.

“I really don’t know, Johnny! We already have such a good friendship!” You were now standing as well, glaring at his face.

“You know we can take it further! A good friendship leads to a good relationship, haven’t you heard that?” He was looking down on you, his expression a mix of anger and hurt.

You stopped glaring and let your shoulders droop, eyes now looking at the carpeted floor.

“I really don’t know if I’m ready to take that next step, Johnny,” you whispered. “I’m scared that we might never be the same again…”

There was a moment of silence for both of you to process your feelings. You thought he was going to hit you or leave, but he did neither. What he did was something you’d expect him to do: he pulled you close to him and wiped your tears.

“We can try, Essie…please?” He asked, lowering his head so that your foreheads can touch. You shut your eyes at this intimate contact, and it was as if the whole apartment could hear your heart beating.

“Can you give me a bit more time?” You broke off from his hug, gently placing his arms beside him. You gave him a small smile, this time firm with your words.

Maybe that’s it. I’m not yet ready, but I can be with him if I want to at my own time.

“How long shall I wait?” He grabbed your hands to him, squeezing it gently. It seemed he couldn’t get enough of you after he embraced you, as his hands always found its way around you.

“That I can’t say, but it won’t be long? Just…not now. I need more time to think,” you let go of his hands, pushing them back to his side harshly this time. You couldn’t look at him, for fear that you won’t like what you’ll see in his eyes.

You felt that you were leading him on, but at the same time, you were sure that you can start something with him, maybe someday.

“Okay, Essie, if that’s what you say. I’ll wait,” he murmured. You remained standing at your spot, eyes never leaving the floor. You only heard his footsteps, until you couldn’t anymore.

He left you without saying anything. You had to understand why he did that, and maybe you did. If you were in his position, you’ll feel hurt as well.

Now that you were able to process your emotions a bit, the hard part comes when the three of you would get together eventually.

The two of you are an awkward mess, and Kibum has to set things straight, or else LBF is no more.

–––

FIN

Resolution

As promised, here’s the next part of my previous post. Although things look like they can wrap up here, it’s only just the beginning for Johnny and Essie. 

Since I don’t write chronologically most of the time, please expect to read snippets before and after their relationship in the coming posts. 

Without further ado, here’s a long read that has a lot of commas and the word ‘really’. Please don’t turn this into a drinking game, okay? Johnny in the GIF will look at you disbelievingly if you do. But then, he might join you just for shits and giggles.

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

Summary: Johnny and Essie continue to be an awkward mess that their other best friend, Kibum, notices this change. He decides to help the two by ‘counseling’ them, and settle their differences – is there any at all? – once and for all. 

POV: 2nd person still. I started writing the bulk of my stories using this perspective before I switched back to 3rd. 

Word count: 2,100 + words 

Genre: Romance, and a teeny weeny bit of angst and hurt that you probably won’t feel it. At all. 

Warning: Mentions of someone smoking, if you’re uncomfortable with characters doing so. And I could use a couple because Lord knows it’s been two months since I’m clean of it. 

–––

Kibum is such a mom, you thought. You suppressed the urge to roll your eyes as he set a huge plate of pasta on the table. He cooked spaghetti with crabmeat sauce, which has edged chicken pesto out as your favorite pasta dish. You couldn’t help but clap your hands in glee as you saw the steam coming out from the plate.

“Well Essie, can you not fawn over the pasta and set the table?” Kibum was annoyed at your dilly-dallying and you immediately got to work by bringing out the fine china.

After all, he was at your apartment with him. The time has come for you to confront your problem with him, and Kibum was generous enough to give some of his time to ‘counsel’ you two.

“Youngho, can you check if we have drinks in the fridge?” The older guy ordered, and the person he asked lazily shuffled towards your red Smeg. “Hmmm, just water and a bottle of red wine. Is that okay? Or should I get some soda or something else?” He said a moment later, his hands running over the tops of the water pitchers.

“No, that’s okay. Bring them out, please,” Kibum said, returning to the table with a wooden board filled with cold cuts and cheese.

You ‘ooh’-ed at how wonderful your meal looked like, with the pasta, cold cuts, cheese, and steak. As Johnny placed the bottle of red wine in the middle of the table, you went to sit at your usual place. He sat across you, and Kibum settled in the middle.

“Thank you, Bumkey!” You and Johnny said in unison, which made the two of you look at each other. You felt your cheeks flush since it has been a while that the both of you said anything at the same time. You looked at your plate, and he did the same.

“Okay, guys? I really need to start this ‘counseling’ session since I don’t want things to become more awkward than they are,” Kibum grumbled, moving closer to the table. “So, what happened to the two of you? Why are you acting like you’re shy of each other?” He continued, hands spread wide to refer to his friends.

When no one answered, he grabbed the bottle of red wine and poured each glass. “Maybe this will loosen you up,” Kibum muttered, taking a sip of the Sangiovese you purposely reserved for special occasions. Although you consider this the opposite, maybe it’s about time that you drink it with your closest friends.

You took a sip and Johnny mirrored you, eyes shyly looking at each other. Kibum groaned again, getting frustrated with the situation. “This! It’s as if you guys are––” he paused as if something in his mind clicked.

“Are you guys in love with each other or something?”

You almost spit the wine you were drinking, and Johnny coughed. He hit the nail on the head, you thought. You set the glass on the table and slowly sank in your seat, wanting to disappear.

“Yeah, Kibum hyung. Well, I’m in love with her, but I’m not sure how she really feels for me,” Johnny said, now playing with the knife and fork. He was trying his best to be engrossed with the utensils, but then you caught him looking at you from time to time.

“You haven’t given him an answer, Essie? And what, it’s been like two weeks since we’ve been hanging out with this awkward air around us!” Kibum was near hysterics, his small eyes becoming bigger with each word that came out of his mouth.

“I’m sorry!” You started, sitting up straight this time. “Well, I really don’t know…I mean, I do love Johnny with all my heart, but I’m not sure if this is the time to start a relationship?” Your voice faltered at the end, and you couldn’t look at them both in the eye after your admission.

“Why not, Essie? You have been single for long,” Johnny said, eyes intently looking at your face.

“Yeah, dear. You haven’t dated in ages, and I don’t mind if the two of you will do so,” Kibum interjected.

Their answer made you feel how lonely you were for the past years, being single after dating a guy on and off until he ghosted you completely. You felt tears running down your face, and you covered it, ashamed at how you were feeling right now.

Since the guy across you does really love you, he went to your side immediately and wiped your tears with his handkerchief. “You really didn’t need to do that,” you mumbled in between his wiping, and he pinched your nose gently.

“But I want to,” he said softly, now wiping the snot under your nose. “And it hurts me when I see you crying.” He patted your head, and you couldn’t help but lean against his touch.

“Not that this is cute, but are we good now? And what were you crying about, dear?” Kibum interrupted your moment, a smirk gracing his features.

You rolled your eyes at his cheeky grin and batted Johnny back to his seat. “You guys had to remind me how lonely I’ve been, and my tears couldn’t help it,” you chuckled, wiping the last of your tears with your thumb.

“Aw, we’re sorry. But you know Johnny’s here, he’s going to take real good care of you!” The older guy said cheerfully, clapping his hands in glee like what you did earlier.

“But won’t us being together affect our dynamic as LBF?” You asked. You saw Johnny roll his eyes, and you slapped a hand on your forehead, realizing that it was a stupid question to ask.

“Well, the dynamic has changed with the two of you being weird for the past weeks. But nothing stays the same, dear. If you two get together, I might feel out of place due to my lack of love life,” Kibum’s honesty made you blush, and you looked at Johnny to see his reaction. He retained a poker face, his right hand cradling his chin.

“But that doesn’t matter. As long as I see you two being your usual annoying selves, then I’m happy,” the blond continued. This made you smile, and the guy across you as well.

You were glad that your closest friends are the most supportive people you have ever met, despite the times they make fun of you as if it was your last day on earth. You stood up, enveloping Johnny in a bear hug, and he returned it with the same intensity.

“I love you, baby,” he said, squeezing your sides.

You laughed first before returning the words he wanted to hear. “I love you too, you dork.”

“Okay…why don’t we eat? The food I cooked for you is now becoming cold!” Kibum once again interfered with your moment, clapping his hands loudly before digging into the pasta in front of him.

You let go of your lover and return to your seat, happily stacking your plate with steak, cheese, and pasta. As all of you load up your plates, your chatter returned to normal: the music you’ve been listening to lately, any art exhibits you can check out now, and even accessories for Kibum’s fabulous dogs.

Your insides felt warm as you watched Kibum laugh in his iconic way, with Johnny biting his lip in the corner trying not to burst into tears. You didn’t mind if you looked ugly while laughing; it has been a while since the three of you had this much fun over dinner.

///

After your scrumptious meal, the three of you hung out. Johnny’s arms were looped around your waist as you stared into the starry sky at the balcony.

Kibum was taking a call inside, which both of you understood as a private moment for him.

“So, Kibum hyung had to convince you otherwise to take a chance on me, eh?” He asked, nuzzling his head on your shoulder.

You tried to shrug but couldn’t since he was so close to you. “Well, it’s not that he’s the reason why we’re like this right now, but…I had to confront my feelings once and for all,” you replied.

He hummed in response, burying his head deeper into your shoulder. You can smell his cologne in this position, and you couldn’t help but turn around and kiss the top of his head.

“You smell really nice,” you started, wrapping your arms around his neck. “And so do you,” he replied.

You know that the two of you can get touchy with each other, but this was a whole new level. You guys have reached lover territory, which you still haven’t fully grasped yet.

Your foreheads were now touching, and he led you to slow dance. Even if there was no music playing, the sound of the city served as the beat to your movements. Your bodies pressed closer to each other, and your hands clasped tighter.

It was a moment you would never forget, and you hoped that he would think the same way too.

When he stopped swaying, he kissed your forehead. You were a bit startled, and he didn’t notice it. Instead, he continued to kiss your face – your eyes, your nose, your cheeks, your chin, until he settled for your lips at last.

It was a chaste peck, and you felt all fuzzy when his lips left yours.

“You’re awfully being too sweet, dear,” you said softly, looking at him straight in the eye. “I always am, especially to you,” he replied, returning the same intense gaze you were giving him.

He was about to kiss you again when you heard knocking on the glass door. Both of you turned around and saw Kibum enter, looking apologetic.

“I’m so sorry to ruin your moment again guys, but I have to leave. There’s an emergency I have to tend to,” he said.

You nodded in response, and Johnny had to pull away from you so the two of you can send the older guy off to his agenda. The three of you exchanged your last pleasantries until you waved him off outside your door.

“Congratulations, you lovebirds! I’m happy for you, but please, don’t make out in front of me and our friends,” were Kibum’s last words before he sped off to his car.

The two of you weren’t able to react to his statement, and he left you two dumbfounded. You looked at each other and laughed at how specific Kibum was about not making out.

“But I will want to make out with you, even if you smell like cigarettes,” Johnny said, pulling you back into his embrace. You felt embarrassed with his revelation and covered your face with your hands.

“No, Youngho, please don’t. Let me have some mint first before you do,” you said, slowly uncovering your face and meeting his. You loved it when he looked at you amusedly as if you were a puzzle that he has yet to solve even if he had already played it a thousand times.

“It doesn’t matter if you take a mint or not, but I also want you…” This time, he leaned so close against your ear that you can hear his slow and loud breathing, “To call me daddy when we’re alone,” he finished, kissing the side of your ear.

You just did not hear him suggest that. You pushed him away and crossed your arms over your chest. “Oh, come on, Johnny! Not that! Anything, but that!” You protested, pouting at his suggestion.

He doubled over in laughter at your reaction, and he even slapped his thighs for effect. “Oh no, baby, I know you will call me that sooner or later,” he said in between fits, “But now, I’m fine with anything you call me.”

“No, I won’t call you that! It sounds as if I’m really calling my dad! And you, sir, are not my dad,” you emphasized, hands on your hips this time.  

“I will be when you become the mother of my children,” Johnny said suggestively as he tackled you for another bear hug.

“Johnnyyyyyy!” You were flustered at the way your conversation was going and buried your head on his shoulder. “You’re making me feel so embarrassed right now!”

“But I do mean all the things I said, baby!” He replied in the same high pitch as you before he kissed your temple.

You stayed silent in his embrace, and he rocked you gently. The movement of your bodies relaxed you, and you closed your eyes in contentment.

This is how life is going to be now with him by my side, you thought. You opened an eye to look at him and saw that he had his eyes closed, but with a smile on his face.

–––

FIN

Sugar and Fluff (Volume 1)

Before I stir the pot, I want you guys to enjoy some good old fluff with Johnny and Essie first. Consider this as the calm before the storm. Yes, I am spoiling my next post because seriously, I never thought I could write something like that. 

I present three short scenarios with the couple, which I hope make you feel all warm and giddy inside. If you know Filipino, then I hope I make you feel kilig. 

Here’s a sweet-looking Johnny wearing a pair of fluffy slippers that most of us have coveted by now to start you up!

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

Since I don’t want to be redundant...

–––

POV: 2nd person for the first and second, 3rd for the last. 

Word count: 2,000 + words in total 

Warning: Aside from being fluffy over all, there are hints of suggestive behavior in some of them. Well, they are a couple anyway, so that’s normal. If you’re expecting they’ll just make goo-goo eyes at each other, then I won’t give you just that. 

–––

I. Inspired by this photo, but this is a close second 

“Hey baby, go to sleep.”

That was the first thing he said when you accepted his FaceTime call, and you groaned in response.

He wore a black muscle shirt, and you could see the beginning of a new mustache.

“I still have a lot of things to do, dude. I have to finish a presentation and prepare stuff,” you grumbled, absentmindedly rubbing your eyes.

To be honest, you were ready to go to bed – you have already changed into your pajamas and have put on your skincare. However, you really have a lot of things to do like finish a report for tomorrow’s meeting, and prepare your things such as the clothes you were going to wear and your bag.

“That can wait until tomorrow, you know? Please go to sleep, Lord knows I’m not the only who reminds you to do so,” He seemed agitated and tried to cover his face with his arm.

You could see how defined his muscles were, and you wished he was beside you so you could squeeze them. You were about to compliment him, but then remembered that he was reprimanding you.

“I know, Nini reminds me of that every freaking day. But I really need to finish all these things,” You suddenly sat up, and your curly hair tumbled over your shoulder.

“Babe, please. Go. To. Sleep.” He emphasized his point by tapping his pointer finger on the screen, doing so per each word.

“Make me?” You said, giving him a small smile. You wondered how he was going to make you fall asleep through a video call. Usually, he made you fall asleep in a snap whenever he slept beside you. He would finger-comb your hair or gently tap your outer thigh until he saw that you were asleep.  

You heard him sigh before he sat up as well. “I’m sure this made you fall asleep before, but I hope this works even through video call,” he said, clutching the blanket closer to his body.

“What is?” You tilted your head to the side, trying to fight the sleepiness slowly creeping into your system.

“ASMR, baby,” he whispered rather loudly. You closed your eyes and tried to recall if that ever made you asleep.

“Maybe that’s not a great idea if you want me to sleep now, I might just get…” you covered your face with the next words you were going to say, “turned on.”

He saw how flustered you were and laughed. “Sorry baby, I was just trying to be helpful. What do you suggest I do then?”

You stroked your chin thoughtfully, mind racing with a million thoughts.

“Is your piano near you?” You asked, not hiding the excitement in your voice and facial expression.

It has been a while since you heard him play, and boy, do you want to see him hit those ivory and ebony keys in his muscle shirt.

“My keyboard is here though, is that okay?” He panned his phone to the instrument beside his bed before he focused it on his face again. “What would you like me to play?”

“A lullaby, silly!” You giggled, pulling the covers closer to you. 

You heard him sigh and he got up from the bed. He set his phone where you could see him play first before he set up the organ. The smile on your face grew bigger when he finally sat down in front of the instrument, wiggling his fingers first before he played ‘Clair de Lune’.

At first, you were focused on his back and arms. He looked like one of those fine sculptures you see in museums, and you sighed dreamily at the thought of that.

Johnny paused when he heard this and looked at the camera. “Is there anything wrong, babe?” You shook your head and signaled for him to continue.

Bit by bit, you felt fatigue creep into your body. You weren’t able to appreciate more of his skill, considering you once played the piano as well.

Once your eyes closed, you fell into a deep sleep.

What you weren’t able to see was that once he stopped playing, Johnny looked at your sleeping figure on the screen and kissed it.

“Night night, my baby princess,” he whispered before ending the call.

///

II. Inspired by this prompt taken from this fluff generator: 

Johnny doesn't like talking on the phone but Essie always calls them instead of texting. Essie admits that it's because they want to hear Johnny's voice.

You bit your lip in annoyance as you waited for your boyfriend to pick up his phone.

You were on your way home, and you wanted to ask him what he would like from your favorite bakery.

It was a busy day at work – you barely had time to take a bathroom break, more so breathe. Once the day was over, you let out the longest sigh ever. Finally, it was the weekend. It was time to catch up with your loved ones, even if you lived with them (or near them).

Johnny has finally moved into your apartment when Nini decided to live together with Jongin earlier this year. His apartment is up for rent now since Mark moved into a nearby dorm with Donghyuck and Yuta. No hard feelings between the bros though, all of you remained good friends after you and Johnny started dating.

After the ninth ring, the phone beeped, and the call was out. You stared at your phone for a moment before dialing again. When you were about to hit the ‘Call’ button, you received a text from him.

Baby, I’m driving. Can you just text? I don’t like taking phone calls unless it’s urgent.

Your eyes narrowed into slits, offended at how he views this call as a ‘non-urgent matter’.

You decided to still call him anyway, ignoring his message. Please pick up, your mind was chanting this over and over until you heard his voice on the other line.

“Yes, baby? Did you not get my message?” He sounded exasperated, but you could care less.

“Hey, what’s up with you and taking phone calls? Can’t I talk to my boyfriend over the phone if I want to?” Your voice was more high-pitched than usual, and you were starting to get some stares from the people around you.

“It’s not that, baby. I’m driving. I had to pull over so I can take this call. So, what is up?” He remained calm in his response, and you could imagine him massaging his temples right now.

You took a deep breath first before answering. “I wanted to ask if you wanted something from our favorite bakery. I’m on my way home, and I wanted to get us some snacks.”

You didn’t hear anything from him after a few seconds until he cleared his throat. “That’s sweet and all, but let me ask you: where are you exactly?” He emphasized the last word, which meant that he wanted his answer ASAP.

“I’m just a few steps away from the bakery, then I’m going to book an Uber after,” you said matter-of-factly. As much as you wanted him to pick you up from work every day, you understood that he has a busier schedule than you and could only afford to do so when he has the time.

“Don’t book an Uber. I’ll pick you up there, okay? That’s the least I can make up to you for being busy this week,” he said, his tone softer this time.

“I’m buying us our favorite pastries to make it up to you too,” you started, “and thanks for picking me up. I appreciate it.” By now bystanders were minding their business, ignoring a curly-haired girl in a chartreuse coat.

“Thank you too, baby, I can’t wait to see you in a bit,” he said almost breathlessly onto the receiver, making you blush. “Me too, love. You know I really like calling you so I could hear your voice,” you admitted.

He didn’t reply for a moment, and you thought he hung up. You checked your phone and saw that he was still on the line. “Hello?” You croaked, nervous that you got him annoyed.

“You really like my voice?” He said, his voice deeper than earlier. “Yes, I do,” you replied a bit too soft.

“Come again? Did I hear my baby say that she likes my voice?” He sounded a bit cocky, and you rolled your eyes at how he was reacting to your statement now.

“Yes, I like Mr. Johnny Suh’s voice,” you said with conviction and clarity.

Of course, you do, that was one of the many things that made you fall for him.

What he did next shocked you as you heard a kissing sound. It was as if he kissed you on the cheek. “You’re too cute, Essie. And maybe I’ll change my view regarding phone calls, if only for you. See you in a bit, okay?” Before you could even respond, he hung up.

You looked at your phone in disbelief at first before a smile blossomed on your face.

Now he’s not going to ignore my phone calls anymore, you thought as you headed to your favorite bakery.

///

III. Inspired by a cute clip of Park Seo Joon (that I saw a fan posted on Twitter) that reminded them of Johnny. I forgot the drama it was in though, so maybe you can help me with that after reading this? 

“Baby, where are you going?”

Johnny’s husky voice surprised Essie, who was surveying her outfit in front of their full-length mirror. “I’m going out for a brunch meeting,” she replied, smoothening the creases on her jeans.

“With whom?” She heard the bed creak, and she saw from the mirror that he sat up from his position. “It’s for a freelance project I’m taking,” she said while looking at his disheveled form in the mirror.

“Come here for a moment, please,” he cooed, changing his tone to a playful one. She hesitated at first, but when she saw him roll over to the farthest side of the bed clumsily and stretched his arms anticipating for a hug, she giggled and almost jumped on the bed.

“I want to have some time with my baby first,” he mumbled, wrapping his arms around her. She returned his gesture and looked at his face. His eyes were still closed (or are they partially open?) but his mouth kept on talking. “What time will you be coming back?”

“I don’t know, maybe late in the afternoon? Why are you asking?” She snuggled into his embrace, which he responded to by pecking her on the lips.

“Maybe I want to ask you out for some afternoon beans or dinner, depends on what time your meeting finishes,” he readjusted his hold on her, and one of his hands cupped her butt.

“Youngho!” Essie scolded, prying Johnny’s hand away from her buttock. “Well, I can’t say yet. But I’ll let you know once I’m done. Don’t you have any schedule for today?”

“Nuh-uh. Today’s a free day, and I want to celebrate it with my baby,” he pecked her again on the lips, this time making Essie giggle as most of her red lipstick was now on his face.

“John, are you aware there’s red lipstick all over your face right now?” She said in between bouts of laughter, as she attempted to remove the red smudges on his face.

“I don’t care, and for all I know, you want to do this to me,” he said seductively, earning him a slap on his bottom. “Youngho! Don’t be like this,” his girlfriend whined, slapping his other butt cheek.

“What time does that meeting of yours start?” He asked, pecking her for the third time on the lips. “It starts in over an hour. I plan to take the train though,” she replied, once again removing her lipstick stains on his face with her thumb.

“No, I’ll drive you there.” Johnny got up from the bed and examined his tousled appearance in the mirror. He laughed when he saw the lipstick smudges on his face. “Do you mind if I take a shower first?” She gave him a thumbs-up (which he saw on the mirror), and he grabbed his towel on top of his computer chair.

“By the way, baby, your lipstick tastes great. What is that, though?” He commented once he was inside the bathroom. She glanced at him licking his lips in front of the mirror there and winked when he caught her.

“Jooooohn! Just take a bath, please!”

–––

FIN

Conflicted

So, I never thought that it would come to this. I do not tolerate this action due to family history, but I don’t know what came over me. Maybe I was overpowered by this guy’s charms that I just had to write something like this. 

To know more what I’m talking about, read on. I won’t even give a summary because I want you guys to know what’s up with this. 

And here’s the devil, erm, Jeong Jaehyun looking like a full-course meal even if he’s just serving face to hype you up. 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

POV: 2nd person still. 

Word count: 1,900 + words 

Genre: Romance, with a dash of fluff and a bit of angst. A well-balanced meal, if I should say so myself. 

Warning: Read until the bottom of this page, and you’ll get what you’re going to read, maybe next post or some other time. 

–––

You felt conflicted whenever Jaehyun was near you.

Although he was your boyfriend’s ex-roommate, there were times that he would hang out at your apartment to catch up with him.

After all, they used to work together as radio DJs. They had a nightly program that you always tuned to before. You and Johnny were still best friends then, and you know you would be frustrated if he still had his program now that you’re together. You two won’t have the time to cuddle, because he would be working and you would wake up with him asleep on the couch.

As you watched Johnny and Jaehyun converse at the dining table, you couldn’t help but observe the younger guy. He was a Disney prince in real life – creamy white skin, immaculately dressed, and with great hair to boot. He also had a beautiful voice that everyone, regardless of age and gender, would fall for.

Those reasons made you feel weird because you’re already in a relationship with one of the most handsome men you know, but at the same time, you couldn’t keep your eyes off him sometimes.

Why am I even thinking of this? You thought as you tied your hair up in a bun to focus on your sideline. It has been a hot minute since you edited textbooks, and sometimes they amused you because some manuscripts contained hilarious content from idiotic authors.

You were already halfway editing the textbook when you felt someone tap your shoulder. You turned around to see Jaehyun, smiling with his adorable dimples on display.

“Hi Essie, it’s time to eat,” he said gently before he went back to the dining table. You followed suit since you didn’t say no to an invitation to eat. You saw that the guys prepared Korean barbecue, which you have been craving as of late.

“Wow, samgyupsal! I missed this!” You cooed, eyeing all the side dishes that you haven’t eaten in months. “I know you’ve been craving for this, baby. I hear you looking for samgyupsal in your sleep,” Johnny said, eliciting a chuckle from Jaehyun.

You glared at your boyfriend who just gave you a heart sign and winked when you raised your fist at him. Your guest was laughing at your interaction, entertained how one of his best friends bantered with his girlfriend.

As the three of you dug in, you talked about everything – from the weather, your music playlists (to be honest, you liked Jaehyun’s taste more than Johnny’s), your upcoming plans, and even your relationships.

“Uh, can someone please pass me the kimchi?” You asked, your hand trying to reach the bowl of said food across the table. It was Jaehyun who handed you the bowl, and you almost dropped it when your fingers touched.

“Sorry,” you both muttered, giving timid looks at each other. Johnny noticed your interaction and raised his eyebrows.

“Babe, what’s this? You’re shy of Jeong Jaehyun?” He asked, even stamping his feet for effect. You could tell that he was both curious and annoyed – curious that you felt that way and annoyed that maybe your feelings for him weren’t that strong as he thought.  

“B-but…” you started, your eyes meeting Jaehyun’s for a moment before you turned to your boyfriend. “He’s too handsome, just like you…” Your voice was so soft that you felt you were the only one who heard it.

There was a moment of silence before Jaehyun cleared his throat. You and Johnny looked at him, which made him flustered. His ears were practically red now.  

“Baby, I know he’s too handsome for this world, but I hope you’re not falling for him,” Johnny said monotonously, trying his best not to sound jealous.

On your part, you appreciated his honesty. That was one of the things you loved about him – his brutally frank comments helped you with your problems most of the time.

However, you also enjoyed how he seemed jealous of your budding crush on his friend, who now covered his face with his hands. “Please stop looking at me,” Jaehyun mumbled while peeking from the small spaces in between his fingers.

“Of course not, darling! You’re still my number one,” your attention was directed to Johnny this time, “but I have to be honest that Jaehyun is such a stunner that I can’t help but look at him sometimes,” you ended by taking a glance at the guy on your right.

The nerve of this guy to wink at you at this moment! You felt your body heat up at this, and you clenched your utensils tightly to fight it off.

“Jaaaaay! Don’t make her fall in love with you! She should be in love with me, and only me!” Johnny was whining like a baby, and the tension that enveloped the table earlier vanished.

You and Jaehyun laughed at how the 6-footer was acting. “Don’t worry, she won’t. Right, Essie? You’ll try your best not to fall in love with me?” The prince-like guy gave you another wink again and blew you a brief kiss.

You laughed in return, flushing red at the attention you were getting. “Hey, you’re totally trying to steal her from me!” Johnny quipped, whose long arm grabbed your wrist so you can focus your attention on him.

“I’m the only one you love, right?” He changed his voice to a sultry one and he gave you The Look. You felt your heart flutter and your insides became warmer. Ah, he still got you every time he did that.

“Yes, honey,” you murmured, shyly looking at his face. “You’re the one that I love.”

Jaehyun began to sing Shania Twain’s ‘You’re Still The One’, and Johnny followed suit. Then all of you sang the song until the end and burst into laughter at how funny (and flirty) you felt for the past few minutes.

After eating, Johnny had to take care of some errands, leaving you and Jaehyun alone in the apartment. “Don’t you even dare, Jeong Yoon-oh,” your boyfriend threatened, which you and your companion did not take seriously. “Don’t try to do anything to my girl,” were his last words before he left the house.

\\\

If there was one word to describe your situation after Johnny left, it was awkward.

You were seated on the end of the couch with a pillow on your stomach as you busily scrolled through your social media feed. On the opposite end was Jaehyun, who was also doing the same.

You could hear the videos he was playing, and you bet he could hear you mutter something under your breath. That was one quirk of yours whenever you scrolled through your Twitter feed – you had to comment on people’s tweets audibly first before responding to them on the app.

“You’re such a hoe, bitch,” you mumbled as you also typed it as your response. You were commenting on Ten’s latest post, which was an outtake on one of his shoots. He looked like a Renaissance painting that came to life with his velvet suit, silk ruffled shirt, and jeweled shoes.

“Who’s a hoe, Essie?” Jaehyun asked, melting you with his stare.

“It’s definitely not you!” You responded, cheeks red from embarrassment. You didn’t mean for him to hear your comment – you made a mental note to correct your quirk, so people don’t question you.

He laughed at your reaction and moved closer to where you were seated. “Then who are you calling a hoe then?”

You leaned back against the couch, hoping that there will be more space you could back out into. “It’s only Ten that I call as such, and it’s our thing,” you said, raising your phone to your face to cover how flushed it was.

“Really? You and Ten have a thing? Does Johnny know of this?” With every word he spoke, he moved closer to you.

“Not like that, dude! Ten’s one of my closest friends now. And you know he won't do something that will make Johnny angry, right?”

This stopped Jaehyun from approaching you, and it was his time to lean back on the sofa. “Oh, is that so?” he rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

When you thought that he was done from crawling toward you, he surprised you when he wrapped his arms around your waist.

You squealed as he tickled you on the sides, on your knee, and his hands crept up on your neck.

“Jaaaaaay! Stop that!” You said in between panting, getting tired from laughing. You were pushing him away, but he easily overpowered you with his strength.

“No, Essie, I don’t want to! Say the magic word,” he said while staring at you with all his might.

Time slowed, and you took in how intent he was on making you say the magic word – what was it, anyway?

“Please?” You breathed, returning the stare he gave you. “Please, darling,” you tried again, your voice breathier than usual.

He loosened his hold on you, but he didn’t let go. “Do I need to repeat myself?” You asked, your hands ready to untangle yourself from him.

“Darling, you make me feel conflicted,” he said with the most painful expression on his face. It was a mixture of sadness and struggle, a combination that was indeed painful to see on anyone.

“Are you for real, Jaehyun?” You raised an eyebrow, hoping it masked how shocked you were with his words. You hoped you sounded scandalized to make him stop what he was doing.

“Essie, I like you. A lot. It pains me that I was never able to make a move on you first,” he said, tilting his body toward yours. He now had a loving expression on his face, making your heart melt.

“But why now?” You could feel the tears pooling at the corner of your eyes.

Come to think of it, Jaehyun was always nice when you hung out with Johnny before. He never teased you – he was actually very sweet and was always on your side. There were times he held your hand, and you let him since you two were good friends.

And how could you forget that he used to kiss your cheek every time you said your farewell? It was not just your cheeks touching – he really pressed his lips lightly on your cheek.

But best friends trump good friends, and eventually, you weren’t able to maintain your closeness once you spent more time with Johnny instead.

“I’m sorry, Essie. I don’t know what to do,” he slowly unhooked his arms on you, “I’m such a fool for coming here. Now I’m confused,” he ran his hands through his hair and looked distressed.

“I’m sorry too, Jay. But if you must know, I like you a lot too,” you said while fiddling with your thumbs.

“Essie, you’re making me more confused,” He sounded annoyed now. “I don’t want to ruin your relationship with John, I know how much he loves you.”

“But does he know that you…like me too?” As much as it made you cringe, you just had to ask him that.

His answer surprised you. “He doesn’t, and I intend to keep it that way.”

This was a plot twist that made your love life more complicated – even though you already have Johnny, you had Mark trying his best to woo you, and now Jaehyun has joined ‘the group chat’, as the kids would say.

“So, what do you plan to do then?” The question came out of your mouth without any thinking, which you now regret.

“Do you want to sin with me?” The way he delivered it sent shivers down your spine. It felt as if you were talking to the devil, only he was clad in a sweater and black jeans.

From that day until the following week, you and Jaehyun had your trysts.

–––

FIN

Love Song

To soften the blow of the previous post, here’s a fluffy one-shot guaranteed to make you feel warm in this rainy weather. Well, if you also come from where I am though – ingat tayo, mga kaibigan!

Grab a mug of your preferred hot beverage, and cozy up to this piece inspired by my favorite song from Neo Zone! 

Too bad there’s no GIF for that though, so please enjoy this aesthetically-pleasing one of what you should do right now. 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

–––

POV: 3rd person since this is part of my recent writing before coronavirus made us its prisoners.

Word count: 1,200 + words 

Warning: This is fluffy as hell, and this is a Johnny/Essie piece before they got together. 

Recommended listening: Do I even need to say it? Stream Love Song, you guys! I repeated it over and over until I finished writing this. 

–––

Who would’ve thought that sharing an umbrella would spark something between two friends?

It was already the rainy season, and Johnny hated it. He didn’t like lugging around an umbrella, which he thought added unnecessary weight to his bag. He’d rather wear a cap instead, but knew that wouldn’t do anything to protect him from even the lightest of rains.

Essie, on the other hand, was alright with it. She was used to constant rains since it was the only other season she had in her home country. She was always equipped with a small umbrella inside her bag, and if the weather forecast reported that there would be heavy rains, she stuffed her parka into it as well.

The two were about to meet for their usual Starbucks hangout, but then it suddenly rained hard. Johnny groaned at how unfortunate this was, frowning at the large droplets that decorated his window.

Oh man, it’s raining. I hate it, he texted Essie, leaning against the wall and looking at the dreary landscape outside his apartment with disdain.

Aw, it’s fine. Just wear your raincoat and bring an umbrella. And don’t forget to waterproof your stuff too, just in case, was her reply a few seconds later, making him groan louder.

This woke up his roommate Mark, who was sleeping on the sofa. “Hey, what’s up, hyung?”

“Hey Mark, it’s raining. Essie and I are supposed to meet at Starbucks today,” Johnny replied, pointing to the window with his thumb.

“No wonder I feel like sleeping some more,” the younger guy mumbled, lying down on the couch again and wrapping himself in the thick blanket by his foot.

“Ugh, this sucks. I can’t stand the rain,” the older guy whispered to no one in particular, staring at his window until the rain started to calm down.

///

After a few more text exchanges, Essie decided to pick up Johnny at his apartment. You’re a big guy yet you can’t handle the rain, she messaged him, her annoyance evident in her tone.

Hey, what’s it to you? I really don’t like it, babe. I’m sorry I have to make you do this, but I promise, I’ll return the favor tenfold, he replied, rolling his eyes at how irate she sounded in her message.

Well, have you experienced getting your home flooded? I would get it if you have trauma because of that, but never mind. I’m already on my way, was her last message which he didn’t have anything to say back.

He has read the news that it is common for her home country to get flash floods during the monsoon season, which made him wonder if her house there has indeed been flooded before.

///

Essie arrived a few minutes past 2 p.m. and was completely dry (and cozy) in her olive green parka. She gave Johnny a silent wave once he opened the door.  

“Hey, baby,” he pulled her a bit closer to him and kissed the top of her head. “Thanks for doing this. I’ll make it up to you,” he hooked one arm around her waist and closed the small gap between them.

“Uh, thanks,” she mumbled, leaning her cheek against his shoulder. “But we better get a move on. The rain might get stronger soon..” She pried herself off him and took out the umbrella that she stuffed on the exterior pocket of her jacket.

When she opened it, Johnny laughed. “Essie, how will we fit in that?” The girl’s umbrella was good for one person, cramming two would result in one’s shoulders getting drenched.

“That’s why I said you should wear your parka,” she sighed, stepping away from his doorway. “Let’s go, Mr. Suh.”

///

Usually, it took them 10 to 15 minutes to walk to the nearest Starbucks. However, since it was raining, it felt like forever.

Essie insisted to be the one to hold the umbrella, despite hitting Johnny’s head numerous times with it. “Baby, please,” he grumbled, “let me hold the freaking umbrella. You know I can definitely cover both our heads with it without injuring the other.”

“This is part of my service to you, sir,” she replied, accidentally hitting his head again with the umbrella. “Sorry about that!” She giggled at the sight of her companion rubbing his head and making faces on how it hurt.

If he was being honest with himself, he wasn’t hurt by the times she hit his head repeatedly. He was enjoying every time their shoulders bumped into each other as they walked. He pretended to be hurt initially, but when he didn’t get a reaction from her, he let it slide and watched her intently as she held the umbrella as high as she could without losing her focus on the road.

If one of his shoulders kept hitting hers, the other was soaked. He was glad that he followed her advice and wore his parka. Although he felt cold on the outside because of his damp shoulder, his insides felt warm because of their proximity.

He wanted to slip his free hand into hers and give it a gentle squeeze as a way to show his appreciation. He was able to do so when Essie walked a bit too early for the pedestrian light to go green and was about to be hit by a motorcycle. He pulled her toward him before something bad happened, and both looked at each other in shock.

“Essie, be careful please,” he said softly while squeezing her hand.

“I’m sorry, John,” she replied in the same manner, her hand still in his.

As the pedestrian light went green, the two never let go of the other’s hand. Once they reached the other side, Johnny plucked the umbrella from Essie’s grip and held it. “Now let me, please,” he said, earning the nod of his friend.

They walked in silence toward Starbucks, which was only a few meters away. Both processed what just happened, and to an outsider’s perspective, their cheeks (and ears) were flushed.

Johnny thought that he was starting to like the rain better, minus the part that his best friend and secret crush was about to be hit by a motorcycle. Essie was convinced that sharing umbrellas can be a sweet (and cute) way for people to get together. Not that she’s expecting Johnny to court her soon, but she felt something in the way he held her hand when he pulled her toward him.

She took a glance at him, and he caught her. “Yes, baby?” He asked, flashing him a smile that made her cold heart warm.

“Thanks for, you know, saving me,” she said in a small voice before looking away. She felt her ears were burning at how flustered she was.

“Aw, no problem. You know I’ve always got your back,” his hand that held hers now moved around her waist and pulled her close to him. “And now we’re here.”

Both looked up at the logo of Starbucks above the door, and Essie got the umbrella from his other hand to close it. Johnny opened the door once that was done, and they took refuge in the warmth that their favorite coffee shop had to offer.

–––

FIN

The Pull of You

Brace yourselves, guys – this shit’s heavy. I wrote this during a moment of depression, so expect heavy themes here. 

This piece is connected to Conflicted, so if you want to know what happens after that, then click that link below.

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

Summary: The aftermath of Essie’s affair with Jaehyun complicates her dynamic with her house mates, most especially her boyfriend Johnny. That’s already a given, but how do they resolve this? Or will they ever do? 

POV: 3rd person. 

Word count: 3,000 + words 

Warning: Aside from the drama and angst this piece exudes, there is also a mention of cutting here. Please don’t do it, kids. Don’t be like who’s still trying to recover from it. And of course, smoking again if you’re sensitive to it. 

Recommended listening: If you concluded that I’ll recommend The National here, then you are correct. I listened to ‘The Pull of You’ and ‘You Have Your Soul With You’ repeatedly while writing this. Lyrics from the song are in bold and italic. 

–––

The affair ruined her. Essie slowly descended into madness, her conscience guilty, and her thoughts spiraling out of control with a million thoughts.

She couldn’t take it anymore. She couldn’t afford to see Jaehyun behind Johnny’s back. It lasted for a week, and she had to tell her lover that she had to end this.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can continue this anymore,” she sobbed, “I want to love you both, but I can only love one of you. I should only love one of you.”

“I know, mon amour. I understand,” was Jaehyun’s reply as he rubbed her back. “I know this wasn’t meant to last long, I know that you love him more than me.”

“I’m so sorry, Jay. I really am. Maybe in another lifetime, we could’ve been,” she sobbed even harder this time.

Jaehyun spent the whole afternoon comforting her and gave her his last kiss before they went their separate ways. “I have no regrets, I am happy that we became together for a moment,” he whispered.

Essie didn’t reply, she was already a mess that couldn’t be fixed.

\\\

In the next few weeks, Johnny noticed that his girlfriend wasn’t acting her usual self. She didn’t talk to him that much and was always holed up in her room.

Although he did his best to be the most caring and patient boyfriend a girl could ever have, Essie wasn’t responding to any of his sweet gestures. He hadn’t heard her speak more than a few words. She didn’t even greet him or say thanks.

As much as he wanted to confront her, he knew that he couldn’t handle the sight of her crumbling in front of him. He let her be for the moment, hoping for the day that she will be back to her usual jolly self.

However, he felt hurt when he saw her conversing with Mark. She looked fine as he saw them talking in her bedroom, as there was a small space open in her door that he could peek through. The younger guy was listening intently to her story, and he observed how she was more animated compared to the past few weeks.

When Johnny saw Mark emerge out of Essie’s bedroom, he wasn’t able to ask his other housemate what he was doing there. Mark walked away with his head bowed, as if he was avoiding any conversation with his hyung. This left Johnny standing on the hallway with his mouth agape, his eyes fixated on the closed door of his girlfriend’s room.

What could have he done to deserve this?

\\\

Mark felt conflicted about the stories that his dear Essie noona told him. He wasn’t sure if he was the right person to listen to this kind of story, but he had to now that she and her boyfriend weren’t on speaking terms lately.

Essie told Mark of her affair with Jaehyun. It only lasted for a week, but she felt horrible that she was able to do it. She never expected that she would end up like her father. She should not tolerate cheating since that was what tore her family apart.

“I love them both, Mark,” she wiped a tear from her eye, “but I don’t know how I can tell John about this. I don’t know what to do if he leaves me. And I don’t know if I can pursue a relationship with Jaehyun further now.”

He just held her hand and squeezed it, not knowing what to say. “I’m sorry if I told you this, but I needed someone to talk to. This might be a lot for you to process, but what do you think I should do?”

When he saw how wrecked she looked, his heart ached. “I…I don’t know. I really don’t know,” were the only words he said before Essie cried for the hundredth time that week.

\\\

Essie didn’t come out of her room the whole day. That worried Johnny because even if they weren’t on speaking terms, she still slipped out of her room to eat (lately it’s only once a day) or use the bathroom.

It was already late in the evening, and the itch to confront her resurfaced. He took a deep breath and walked toward the landing where his keys were. He had the key to all of the rooms, hers included. It was time to take action.

He opened the door to her room and saw her bundled in her comforter. He almost dropped his phone when he noticed that there were bloodstains on it.

He rushed to her side and saw that the blood came from her wrists. They were still bleeding. He extracted a pair of scissors on her bed and threw it away. She had hurt herself.

“Maaaaark!” He shouted, trying not to let panic get to him. “Mark Lee, come here immediately, please!”

The younger guy peeked into Essie’s room and was shocked to see the bloodied comforter. “I’ll call 911,” he said, immediately fishing his phone out of his pocket to call the hotline.

Johnny unwrapped Essie from her beddings and examined the wounds she created. They were a bit fresh, and they still bled. He noticed that she wasn’t breathing regularly anymore.

He was crying throughout the ordeal – the medical staff had to calm him down, and Mark had to step up to take care of the situation.

He didn’t know why Essie ended up like this. She wasn’t talking to him for weeks. He gave her space, and he tried his best not to be mad at her. He was a kind, understanding, and caring partner. But she was being selfish, and it broke his heart day by day.

Now, he might lose her because he wasn’t strong enough to break her walls.

Is this how I lose it? Everything at once?

\\\

Essie’s thoughts continued to consume her.

I don’t deserve to be loved.

I have been a bad partner.

I have become like my father.

I am a whore, a slut, a bitch, or any derogatory names you could call me.

I am not worthy of Johnny’s love, nor Jaehyun’s.

I am the most selfish person on this planet.

I deserve to die.

She had no energy to get out of bed or even eat properly. She only had one meal a day, the portions becoming smaller each day. The last thing she ate was a single cracker.

As she buried herself deeper into her sheets, the desire to cut returned. Wordlessly, she got up from the bed and grabbed the nearest scissors she could find.

She shut her eyes and dragged it across her wrist first to see if it was sharp enough. She saw thin lines etched onto her skin, with one of them oozing a prick of blood.

She tried again, this time harder and slower. She let out a small grunt as she felt the metal digging into her skin. She felt the blood gush out, which was both a painful yet wonderful experience. She did it again to her other wrist albeit shakily, for the blood was making her lose her control.

They were thick gashes on each wrist, and she gave a faint smile at her work.

I wish all these thoughts would stop now, she thought as she closed her eyes. She felt faint, which she hoped would lead to her losing her conscience until she never gets it back.

\\\

When Essie opened her eyes, she was at the hospital. It was a sight she never thought she’d see or experience. There were bandages on her wrists, and she felt a twinge of pain when she tried to move her hands.

“You’re awake,” a voice beside her croaked. It was Johnny, who looked worse for wear. She tried to say anything, but her mouth was too dry. She settled on looking at him instead, observing the dark bags under his eyes and his messy hair.

“Do you need anything?” She shook her head. “Water?” Another shake. “Come on, baby, please,” he said, on the verge of tears.

She could only stare at him, her mind still processing everything that happened for the past few weeks.

“Why won’t you talk to me still? What did I do? I want to know if I hurt you in any way, so I know how I could make it up to you,” he started, tears falling from his eyes.

“You’ve been talking to Mark, but not me. Are you hiding something from me?”

Those words made her heart pound loudly against her chest, and she tried not to break from her poker face.

“Baby, whatever it is, please. Let me know. I’ll understand. Whatever you did, I’ll forgive you. Just talk to me.”

Still, Essie would not budge. She just stared at him crying, unable to say anything for fear of him breaking further than her.

I cheated, John. With your best friend. I’m sorry.

A tear slipped from her eye, which Johnny didn’t notice as he continued to weep in front of her.

There was a knock on the door, but that didn’t stop him from crying. The door creaked open, revealing Mark in his trademark baseball cap.

He was about to say anything but noticed that his hyung was close to bawling.

“I guess I’ll be back later,” he mumbled, about to close the door. That was when Essie found her voice back, even if it was hoarser than usual. “Mark,” she started, “please stay.”

The younger guy was surprised at this, and he re-entered the room. Johnny’s eyes widened that his girlfriend wanted to talk to his other roommate instead of him.

“Sorry, Johnny hyung, but can you excuse us for a second?” Mark whispered, still not making eye contact with him.

“I can’t believe this,” Johnny muttered, glaring at his housemates for a second before storming out of the room.

He went out of the hospital to calm himself down, and for the first time in ages, he lighted a stick.

\\\

Everything came back to her once she started speaking to Mark. The younger guy updated her on what happened, and he saw how her face was coming back to life with various expressions. Her eyebrows knitted, her mouth frowned, and her eyes expressed the most emotion of them all.

“Mark, I still don’t know what to do. I can’t talk to him, not like this,” she murmured, looking at her bandaged wrists.

“You have to now, Essie noona. Please. It’s breaking him too. If you don’t want him to leave, you have to do it,” he said, softly tapping her arm.

She cried again, and Mark took this opportunity to excuse himself and find Johnny so the lovers could finally talk.

\\\

It took Mark an hour to find his hyung. He tried calling, but he wouldn’t answer. He had to resort to calling their other friends. Eventually, he found him through Yuta. “He’s at that coffee house with the nice smoking area,” the Japanese guy said before he hung up.

It was the place that he went to with his girlfriend. Mark knew that Essie smoked, but she was trying to cut it down. He didn’t know if she had quit, but that didn’t matter now.

As he went to the smoking area, he saw Johnny blowing a smoke ring. “Johnny hyung,” he approached the guy carefully, afraid that he might hurt him due to what he witnessed earlier.

“Mark,” the older guy said harshly and even blew smoke at his face. “What brings you here?”

“I’m taking you back to the hospital. She needs you now,” he took a seat beside him and twiddled his thumbs out of nervousness.

“What makes you think she needs me? She only talks to you now! Tell me,” Johnny said as he put out the cigarette, “are you two in a secret relationship?”

Mark shook his head vigorously. “No, hyung. She already made her choice when she decided to be in a relationship with you. I will never do that to you, to her, or anyone.” His voice was firm.

“Then, why is she talking only to you? I’m always here for her. Mark, please tell me, what’s wrong? Why isn’t she talking to me?” The older guy was in tears again, his sadness and frustration about the situation coming up again.

“It’d be best that she explain it, to be honest. I don’t even know what to say,” Mark rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Please, Johnny hyung. Have a bit more patience. She’ll talk.”

“I’m doing the best that I could, Mark Lee. I hope I still have some patience in me left,” were Johnny’s last words before he went back to the hospital.

\\\

“Baby, you said you needed to talk to me?”

The six-footer was now seated beside his love, who looked more alive than he saw her earlier. She nodded, opening her palm and moving it toward his direction.

He took this as a cue to hold her hand, which he did. He was gentle in picking it up, slowly slipping in his fingers in between hers.

“Can you tell me why you hurt yourself? Can you tell me everything why you haven’t been talking to me in ages?” His voice cracked as he asked.

“I…I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I really am. I am truly, deeply sorry.”

“I know it’s easy to say I forgive you, but I don’t know if I can accept it just yet. You really hurt me,” Johnny’s grip tightened. “But I know you still have a lot to explain. Can you start?”

She looked at him with teary eyes, slowly untangling her hand from him. She didn’t know where to start. She didn’t know if she could say what she has practiced in her mind while she was waiting for him to return.

I had only one thing to do and I couldn’t do it yet.

///

It took some time for Essie and Johnny to repair their relationship. She wasn’t able to tell him what she really wanted to say when she was at the hospital. They just held hands and cried.

Once she was discharged, Johnny was hands-on in taking care of her. He didn’t leave her alone – he accompanied her to the bathroom, he slept beside her, and he was there for her when she had to go out of the house.

In one instance, they had to return to the hospital for a follow-up check-up and an appointment with the psychiatrist. They held hands as they went to the car silently. Essie didn’t talk that much, and if she did, she only gave single statements.

Johnny’s patience was wearing thin, but he prayed that the Lord give him more. He didn’t want to lose the love of his life, even if she still hasn’t told him everything yet.

From all the things that she said, he only knew that she was apologetic for everything.

Something's leaving me behind

It's just a feeling in my mind

\\\

It was during their ride to the hospital that Essie finally cracked.

“I’m sorry that I broke your heart,” she wept, looking away from him.

It had started raining outside, and they were stuck in traffic.

“I already forgive you for that,” he squeezed her hand. “Stop apologizing so much. I got it.” He bent forward to look at her face in the car window and saw that her eyes were red and puffy.

“It’s more than what you think, John. I really am sorry.”

He let go of her clammy hand and placed it on the steering wheel. Could it be?

A moment of awkward silence enveloped the car. They weren’t listening to any of their playlists lately. Music took a backseat in their lives as Johnny was intent to fix things with Essie.

“Who did you do it with?” His tone was serious, making the hairs on the back of Essie’s neck stand up.

“Jay,” she whispered as she sat up straight. “It was Jay.” She repeated with certainty.

“Jeong Jaehyun,” Johnny growled his best friend’s name. It made sense to him now. No wonder he wasn’t talking to him despite leaving multiple voice calls and private messages. “How dare he do this to me? But how could you too, Essie?” The instant change of tone of his voice made her heart ache.

It was one of the most painful things that she heard him say, along with the pleas that he said when she was at the hospital.

“I’m really sorry, John. There are no excuses for what I did. I gave in to temptation when I could’ve avoided it…” Essie’s voice cracked at each word she said, and she was in tears again.

“How long did it last?” Johnny’s question cut through her like a knife. He wasn’t dilly-dallying around.

“For a week. I couldn’t take it anymore…” She distracted herself by studying her hands since she didn’t want to cry all day. She knew she would cry more during her appointment with the psychiatrist.

“Essie…” He breathed, his eyes intent on the traffic sign. It was still red, and he was wishing that it would change to green.

“I’m sorry, Johnny. My sincerest apologies. I am remorseful for what I did. Please forgive me more for what I have done,” she said, taking a glance at his face.

Even if it pained her to see his reaction, she had to know how he felt.

He had an inscrutable expression as he continued to drive. Of course, it hurt him that his best friends cheated on him. Jeong Jaehyun, a man he considered his brother, had an affair with the woman he wanted to marry and have a family with.

He had to right to be angry about this. But he didn’t feel it right now. Instead, he felt defeated. Deflated. Depressed.

His love for Essie was too much that he wanted her to get better soon so they could fix their lives together.

Processing anger can take a toll on someone, and he didn’t want to feel that just yet. He would get angry later on. That could wait.

He took a look at Essie, who has now fallen asleep. He gave her a small smile before focusing his attention back on the road.

We're connected by a thread

If we ever get far apart

I'll still feel the pull of you

–––

FIN

P.S. I hope you didn’t make a drinking game out of all the times I mentioned hyung here!

Housemates (Johnny)

I like to make it up to you, guys – here’s another installment of my Housemates mini-series featuring NCT members. Yes, you read it right – NCT, which means there might be members from other sub-units that you’ll get to read about soon.

Since I started with Mark, I’m going to continue with his funny and lovable hyung – Johnny Suh, also known as the Love of My Life. Just look how cute he is in the GIF below!

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

–––

Summary: Like the first story, it was inspired by an Instagram post of NCT members as your roommates or housemates. This came from the second part.

If this piece can come with a subtitle, it would be: Essie Park is PMS-ing so bad, but deep inside, she appreciates what Johnny does for her. In short, she’s really grumpy here, and you might find her a bit annoying.

POV: 2nd person still.

Word count: 1,400 + words 

Warning: Since someone’s not in the mood here, expect a twinge of angst in one of the scenarios. But as always, this is fluffy and sweet as a cotton candy.

–––

When you and Johnny started as roommates, it was quite chaotic.

You woke Mark up, or whoever was sleeping in the other spare room, with the sound of plastic containers falling from the shelves. If not that, you were chucking them at the six-footer who seemed intent to annoy you by hiding important things on the high shelves.

“Younghooooo! Why did you put the remote control here?” You screeched, grabbing the device from the top shelf. “Are you planning to hog the telly all by yourself? Well, you aren’t!”

You jumped off from the counter and clutched the remote tightly. Johnny tried his best to hide his laughter, but he couldn’t. He loved seeing you annoyed because he knew he would be forgiven when he apologized with a lot of aegyo.

\\\

Your body clock was also ruined the longer you stayed at his place. “Let’s have lunch?” He asked from across the room as he rummaged the fridge for something to eat.

You looked at your phone’s watch and rolled your eyes. “Johnny, it’s quarter to 3 in the morning. Let me repeat: in the fucking morning. Are you out of your mind?!” You had already raised your voice in annoyance, but he was unbothered by it.

“I don’t find anything I’d like to eat here,” he said as he closed the fridge door. “How does Panda Express sound?”

“Whatever, dude. As long as you’re paying.”

\\\

While you were viewing your friends’ Instagram Stories on the couch, a notification popped up that Johnny sent you a message.

It was a snap of him winking with his hands clasped in front of him. Can you please get the carton of ice cream from the fridge? Let’s share it too~ was the caption that accompanied it.

You looked to your right and saw him intently watching a video on his phone. “What the hell, dude? Really?” You grumbled, which he ignored. His face was too close to the screen.

You shoved your phone in your pocket first before you got what was asked of you. It was a carton of ice cream good for sharing, and it was your favorite flavor – mint chocolate chip.

“Here you go, your highness,” you said, handing him the ice cream and a spoon. He paused what he was watching and patted the space beside him.

You obliged and ate the ice cream beside him. Eventually, you joined him in watching, and he pulled you close to him.

“Thanks, baby,” he said as you focused your attention on the subs on the screen.

“No problem. But next time, you can press pause and get whatever you need by yourself, okay?” You said without looking at him, your tone firm.

He responded by tightening his hold on you and kissing the top of your head.

\\\

There was a time that you were so tired and wanted some peace, but your housemate didn’t give you that.

Johnny decided to throw a surprise party by inviting some of your closest friends – Key, Ten, Taemin, Kai, Jaehyun, and the rest of their crew. The apartment was filled with handsome men, which isn’t bad, but you weren’t in the mood to interact with them at the moment.

You were speechless as Yuta took off your coat for you, and Jungwoo held your purse. “Come on in, princess! The party has just started!” Johnny greeted you, who was wearing a red velvet robe similar to what Hugh Hefner wore.

Your eyes narrowed to slits, and you folded your arms in front of you. “A party? You do know that I’m tired as fuck after coming home late for the past few days?” You hissed, making the tall guy approach you cautiously.

“I know, baby! But a little party never hurt somebody!” He tried to convince you by shaking his booty a bit, hoping that his party mood will rub off on you.

“Come on, Essie! Have some fun with us!” You heard Taemin say, waving to you with that bashful smile of his. You noticed that he held a glass of whiskey on his other hand.

His words made you reconsider, and later on, you were singing with Ten and Key on the couch, while Mark and Haechan laughed at how you butchered the song.

You saw in the corner of your eyes that Johnny was pleased. You gave him a thumbs-up, and he returned it with a wink as well.

\\\

“Shut the fuck up, Johnny! Some of us are trying to concentrate here!” You screamed, banging on the bathroom door.

Your housemate was singing ‘A Pocketful of Sunshine’ (a la Emma Stone in ‘Easy A’), and it was distracting you.

You were working on your sideline at the dining table, and you heard how grating Johnny’s voice was from where you were. You knew that he didn’t sound like that – he sounded angelic when sang – but there were times he liked to sing badly on purpose to annoy you or anyone else in the apartment.

Unfortunately, Mark was immune to his hyung’s 'bad' singing. “Just let him be, Essie noona,” he said, biting his lip so he wouldn’t laugh. If you were easy to annoy, the younger guy was easy to laugh.

“But he’s distracting me! I need to get my work done!” You whined, and at this time, Mark was getting teary-eyed from holding in his laughter. “You can borrow my noise-canceling headphones if you need some quiet time,” he offered, going back to his room to get them.

“There’s no need, Mark,” you heard Johnny say, “because I’m done.” A few seconds later, he emerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his bottom half. However, it was a bit too low for anyone’s liking – the outline of his pelvic bones were showing.

“Jesus Christ, Johnny! Can you raise that towel higher?” You complained, backing away from the bathroom. “Mark, I’ll still need those headphones, please!” You rushed back to the kitchen where your laptop was waiting for you.

Johnny chuckled at your flustered figure but did what you told him to once you were back on your seat.

\\\

After a devastating day at work, you just wanted to throw yourself on the floor once you arrived home.

The tears that you tried to contain spilled once you arrived at your doorstep. You cursed when you couldn’t find your keys. As you fumbled at your bag for it, you heard someone approach the door.

You didn’t have to look up to know who it was and went in once the door was opened. You thanked the person almost inaudibly before throwing your bag on the couch and ran toward your bedroom.

Johnny was concerned and bothered at this sight of you.

He went to your room a few minutes after you have cried it out on your pillow. “Hey, are you okay?” He asked gently, approaching your curled-up figure slowly.

“Isn’t it obvious? Of course, I’m not,” you mumbled on the pillow, clutching it tightly until your knuckles went white.

“Essie, what’s wrong?” This time, he was sitting on your bed and stroking your back.

“A really bad day at work,” you replied, still not turning to face him. You didn’t want him to see your smudged makeup and puffy eyes.

You were surprised when he flipped you over to face him. You covered your face with your hands, so he doesn’t see how terrible you looked.

“Tell me about it,” he said, taking off your hands off your face as he pulled you towards him. You shut your eyes as he led you towards his chest.

“I’m just doing my job, but people at work have to be mean about it…” You started your story and eventually forgot that you were conscious of your face.

You saw him listening intently to your rant, and you felt your insides grow warm. It was nice and touching of your housemate to do this for you, even if you have been grumpy with him for the past few days.

Once you were done, he enveloped you in a hug and patted your back. “There are days like that, and there will always be people like that,” he said. “Let it all out, and then move on from it, okay?” He was stroking your hair, and this made you relax in his arms.

You stayed in this intimate position for a while, and you wondered if you will have more moments like this in the future.

–––

FIN

Fling Things

Let me introduce you to some fling things! Did you read that to the tune of ‘Kick It’? If you did, then you are a real NCTzen! 

Kidding aside, here’s a lighthearted story with the special participation of Wong Yuk-hei, also known as Lucas from WayV and Super M! 

Lest you forget, this is predominantly a Johnny (and Jaehyun and Mark) fanfiction blog, so read on to know how Lucas gets into the picture this time. 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

Summary: Like a page taken out of a rom-com storyline, Essie has a one-night stand with Lucas, and Johnny and Jaehyun aren’t happy about it. Hilarity ensues, as always. 

POV: 2nd person still. I wrote a lot of stuff last year, can you tell? 

Word count: 1,200 + words 

Warning: It’s a bit steamy, but not too much that it’s foggy. Get that? Otherwise, it’s just good old fun with the boys. 

–––

Before you and Johnny became official, you had a couple of flings with other guys. One of them was with Lucas, whom you had a one-night stand with. It was during a party that you ended up with the head-turning Hong Konger. 

The party was to celebrate someone’s birthday – you were sure it was for the Aquarian group of Doyoung, Johnny, and Jaehyun – and somehow, you ended up on the couch with Lucas. 

Both of you were tipsy already, with him affectionately rubbing your thigh, and you caressing his arm. You were talking too close to each other that nothing else mattered – if you weren’t that drunk, you might have noticed that Johnny and Jaehyun were glaring at your interaction with Lucas. 

Everything happened so fast, and before you knew it, you were in bed with the younger guy. You could only remember snippets of the deed, which were too steamy to even recall in detail. 

You woke up around 7 a.m. and found that Lucas was still beside you, scrolling through his phone. He was still topless, exposing his neck and arms that were almost filled with your love bites. You flushed at the memory of yesterday’s debauchery and decided to get up.

But before you could even do that, Lucas pinned you back on the bed. “Hey baby, morning,” he said in his trademark sultry voice. You gave him a weak smile, which he responded to with his awkward laughter. 

“You were great last night,” he started, leaning closer to you, “and I mean it.” He eyed the marks you left him. “Uh, thanks? You were great too,” you replied, starting to relax in your current position. 

He pecked you on the lips before he got up, revealing that he was already wearing his underwear. “Want to get breakfast?” He asked as he rummaged on the chair across the bed for his clothes. 

“Sure thing, but let me wash up first.” You held the blanket around you as you stood up, now shy of your naked body. 

“Okay, I’ll just be here,” Lucas winked at you as he slipped on his jeans. 

\\\

Breakfast with Lucas didn’t feel anything special. It was like eating with a friend – he cracked a lot of jokes while you tried your best not to spit out your coffee from laughter. 

He was a nice boy, but you know that he’s not the one for you. Blame it on the alcohol that you were able to do something you thought you would never do. 

He pecked your cheek before you left his car. “Let me know if you want to hang out, okay? I’ve put my number in there,” he tapped at your phone, “and you can chat me up too.” 

You nodded, bewildered that he was able to unlock your phone and put his number in your contacts. The boy might be more into you than you thought. 

Even if it has already been a couple of hours since you two did it, you still have the post-sex pain. 

You hobbled towards the door barefoot since you know you wouldn’t be able to walk in heels. As you fumbled for the keys in your bag, you heard footsteps approaching the door. 

Johnny, who was in a baggy shirt and sweatpants, opened the door for you. “Hey, wouldn’t you look at that,” he said, leaning against the doorway. “Baby’s got a fun time last night, and we weren’t invited!” His sarcastic tone annoyed you, but at the same time, you also felt guilty. 

You weren’t able to notify the guys that you were still at the venue of the party, in one of the rooms having your way with one of the most handsome men you’ve ever known. Aren’t all of your guy friends?

“Hey, I’m sorry,” you croaked. “I didn’t mean to not text or call you guys but…uh, things happened. And I didn’t expect that to happen. Not in a million years. I don’t know what came over me–––”

Johnny cut you off by pulling you into the house. “Stop blabbering and come inside,” he whispered, his hand still on your wrist as he dragged you to the sofa. 

You followed him silently, and he even patted a spot on the couch for you to sit on. Once you were seated, he flicked your nose. “You deserve that for making us worry,” he said before taking a seat beside you.

“But I said I was sorry!” You grumbled, rubbing the spot he hit. “Please don’t do that again, Essie. Jaehyun and I were worried about you, but especially me.” With that, you turned around and saw that one of his best friends walked toward you with a cup of coffee.

“Looks like you need one,” he said as he handed the steaming cup to you. You thanked him and carefully took a sip. It tasted just the way you like it – with milk and two packets of sugar. 

“Hey, you know my blend,” you gave an approving look at Jaehyun, who rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Because I’ve observed you enough to know what you like,” he mumbled. 

You could only look at the boys in shock. Jaehyun usually didn’t act this flustered, and Johnny’s concern was bordering on anger. You set the coffee on the table and explained yourself again, this time more confidently. 

“I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to message or call you guys. I know you were concerned because I had too much to drink, and I was flirting with someone…” You softened your voice at the end, embarrassed of admitting that you had a rendezvous last night. 

“Yes dear, you were with Lucas. The young sex god. You got pulled into his charms,” Johnny said dryly while rolling his eyes. “You were too weak to resist it,” Jaehyun piped in, folding his arms in disappointment. 

“I didn’t expect that too, honest! But anyway, now I’m home safe and sound, I’m really sorry I made you guys worry. What can I do to make it up to you guys?” You pleaded, giving your best aegyo to appease them. 

Both guys looked at each other, deep in thought on what you can do to make them forgive you. It took them a moment until both of them said the same thing.

 “Be my assistant for the week.” 

“Hey, I said it first!” Johnny grumbled, glaring at the guy standing beside him. 

“No, I was the one who said it first!” Jaehyun rebutted, raising an eyebrow at his friend. 

They bickered for a moment, and you shook your head at their immaturity. 

“Well, I guess you two should settle that first. I’m going to take a long bath, and let me know who the winner is,” you said, standing up with the cup of coffee.

“Let’s settle this with rock-paper-scissors, so we know who the winner is now!” Johnny screeched, getting into a competitive stance. Jaehyun mirrored him, and you watched them play the most intense rock-paper-scissors game ever. 

The taller guy won with paper against Jaehyun’s rock. The latter drooped his shoulders in defeat while Johnny pumped his fist in the air. “I win! Better prepare yourself, girl, I’m going to tire you out!” He said, pointing a finger at you for emphasis. 

“Yeah, whatever. I’m going to rest for now,” you took a sip of your coffee before walking away from the two guys. 

Sometimes, being surrounded by more guys makes things more complicated for you. All you ever wanted was to be with that one special guy, but life has to make things challenging for you. 

Is this a conquest you should continue, or should you stop now?

–––

FIN

Photography

Since I ruined the flow of my scheduled posts, I’m going to be more careful about it moving forward. 

Anyway, let’s get back to our regular programming with some Johnny and Essie goodness. Of course, a photo of Johnny with his camera is the perfect cover image for this story! 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

Summary: Most NCTzens know, especially if they are Johfams, that The One and Only Johnny Suh is into photography. This piece is an ode to that, aside from being quite autobiographical. Don’t worry though, it isn’t anything dramatic or tear-jerking.

POV: 2nd person. 

Word count: 1.300 + words

Warning: Essie’s a bit angsty on this one because photography’s a sore subject to her. 

–––

Aside from his phone, Johnny never leaves the house without his camera.

It was one of the top-of-the-line point-and-shoot cameras, and whenever he went out with you, he always whipped it out to take photographs of just about anything that fancied him.

Most of the time, you would roll your eyes at him as he got down to business. He would crouch on bushes or squeeze himself in small spaces to get a perfect shot.

“Photography is art, darling,” he said with an obnoxious French accent, ignoring your sarcastic remarks. You would wait for him to finish taking photos before the two of you resumed walking to your destination.

Over time, you got used to it. You would wait for him by amusing yourself with your phone. You would either scroll through your social media or message your friends. If you weren’t doing either, you were writing on your Notes app.

Photography reminds me of my father was the latest thing you wrote, which Johnny was able to read over your shoulder.

“Really? How come?” His voice startled you, and you elbowed him on the gut. He winced in pain, and you apologized, absentmindedly rubbing the part you hurt him.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to. And you surprised me,” you said. He gave you a thumbs-up first before he was able to compose himself. “So, will you answer my question again?”

Images of you and your father making your way through a busy crowd and taking photos resurfaced in your mind, along with memories of you two eating at a dingy Chinese restaurant after.

To be honest, you weren’t comfortable talking about it just yet.

You shook your head and gave him an apologetic smile. “I don’t feel sharing it now,” you said softly, turning on your heel and walking away from him.

Photography was definitely your father’s biggest influence on who you are now. Back in college, you were the girl always lugging around a DSLR. There were times that you brought two lenses and kept your other paraphernalia in a lunchbox.

You enjoyed fashion photography the best, often asking your classmates to pose for you and coming up with ideas for fashion editorials. You claimed to be a very visual person, considering you pored through every magazine lying on your couch when you were bored at home. Yes, that included men’s magazines that you weren’t supposed to be looking at when you were nine years old.

That was all in the past now, considering you sold your camera four years ago. Now you didn’t have one, and you didn’t feel as inspired taking photos with your phone.

It felt like there was a part of you that withered, eventually being replaced with other interests.

\\\

You were both amused and sad when friends have been posting the photographs you took during your hobby heyday.

One of them used it as her profile picture, while the other reposted an album of your photographs to prove something to her haters. You were tagged on their posts, and you had no choice but to like and comment on them.

If only I have my camera back, why not? I’ll get back to having more shoots with you guys was your comment, which once again Johnny saw as he walked behind you.

The two of you were at his apartment, just lounging around. You were waiting for Kibum and Ten to arrive so you could decide what to do after. Johnny was pacing in his apartment until he saw you typing away furiously on your phone.

“Oh, so you did photography work before!” You whipped your head to his direction and glared at him. “What about it?” You grumbled, going back to your response. You hit ‘Send’ and focused your attention on him.

“Show me your work, silly!” He plopped down beside you and leaned towards your phone. You moved a bit farther from him and clutched your phone towards your chest.

“No, I don’t want to. And it’s not that good,” you grumbled, getting a pillow with your free hand. Your other hand tightly gripped on your phone since you know how Johnny can be sneaky and grab things from you.

“Hey, don’t be like that. I’m sure you had beautiful photos if your friends want you to get back to it again,” he said softly, moving closer to you. “Please, may I look at your photographs?”

How could you say no when he practically looked like a pleading Puss in Boots in Shrek? He was even wearing an orange sweater to add to the effect.

“Fine,” you muttered, opening your Facebook app and scrolling through your albums. When you found the album where you showcased your photographs, he squealed in delight. Most of them were edited to have a vintage effect, but you knew what mattered to him the most was the feel of the photo.

You handed him your phone, and like an excited toddler, he scrolled through the images on the album. “Wow, these are great!” You heard him say a few seconds later. “Oh, this is beautiful! She looks like a fairy!” He showed you a photo of your friend, dressed in a brown chiffon dress, dramatically posing with an antique tree behind her.

“We almost got reported by the campus police for taking photographs without a permit,” you admitted, making him chuckle. “Sometimes, you’ve got to break the rules to get that perfect shot,” he said as he patted your shoulder.

Both of you browsed at your photo gallery, and he shared his feelings on most of them. He found them beautiful and even loved the editing you did on some of them. “Thanks, Youngho,” you said, slowly getting the phone from him. He noticed what you were doing and moved the phone toward him. “We aren’t done yet! You have more, right?” He was charming you to share more, but you knew that was enough.

You yanked the phone away and told him firmly: “That’s enough for today.”

An awkward silence filled the room, and you sulked in a corner. You wondered why photography was still a touchy subject with you, especially when you’re with your best friend.

\\\

One day, Johnny decided to give you a camera. Not just any camera, but his camera.

Your eyes widened in shock as he placed it on your hands. You were in his apartment again, hanging out like the clingy best friends that you are.  

“Take it, baby,” he said, moving your fingers so the camera doesn’t slip off your hands.

“But why though?” You looked at the device on your hands, which felt surreal.

“You need it. And I want you to take photos with me,” he tilted your chin so you could see the smile on his face. You could tell it was genuine, and it made you smile in return.

“But if you’re giving me this, then you don’t have one?” You peered into his bag and saw that he has another one.

“I’m giving you a brand new one. I still have mine,” he pointed to the model that was still in his bag.

“But this is too much! And this model’s expensive,” you started babbling, ignoring the thoughtful look he was giving you. “How on earth am I going to repay you?”

“There’s no need, consider it an early present from me. Happy birthday, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!” He greeted, laughing at how absurd it was to say those things at the end of October.

You placed the camera on the coffee table first before you hugged him. “Thank you Youngho, you’re the best,” you mumbled against his sweater.

“Anything for my sweet darling Essie,” he said, stroking your curly mane.

You remained in your intimate position for a moment until someone knocked on the door. “That must be Yuta,” he said, breaking away from the hug.

You watched him get the door, looking now and then at the camera that he gave you.

My dad would be proud, you thought. That could mean anything – your father would be proud that you’re getting back into the hobby, or he could be proud that you found a partner who loves it as much as he did.

–––

FIN

Sugar and Fluff (Volume 2)

Here’s a follow-up to the first installment of this mini series, which features Johnny and Essie struggling with their feelings for each other. 

There’s also the special participation of NCT 127′s resident bunny, Kim Doyoung! What is he up to there?

He ain’t dancing to Elevator (127F) with Johnny, that’s for sure! Read on, and let me know what you think! 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

–––

POV: 3rd person since two of these are some of my recent writing during this quarantine period. The last one, however, was written last year.

Word count: 2,300 + words 

–––

I. Inspired by an Instagram post that speculated Doyoung is dating someone, and I'm sorry I couldn't remember the exact post

It didn’t take long for Essie to figure out that Doyoung was dating someone.

Not that she liked him to that extent, but she felt that he had a lighter aura around him. He was usually sulky with his arms crossed over his chest, looking at everything with disdain. Although once you get to know him, he is far from what he shows in public.

This time though, he smiled and laughed more. He wasn’t shy to show off his gummy smile, which was one of the things his fans love about him.

“Yeah, Essie. I am seeing someone,” he told her while they waited for Johnny to pick up their orders at Starbucks. It has become a ritual for the three friends to hang out at the famous coffee shop after their schedules. Essie feigned shock by mouthing an ‘O’ and placing a hand over the edge of her lips. “Really now,” she replied, her eyes scanning for their friend still waiting on the counter.  

“Yeah, believe it or not. I never thought I’d end up dating,” Doyoung chuckled, playing with the hem of his sleeves. He wore an oversized sweatshirt and a pair of slim-fitting jeans, looking like every girl’s boyfriend. “Congratulations, dude,” she shook his hand, which he took gratuitously. “Thank you, Ms. Park, I hope you do end up dating someone soon,” he replied, tightening his hold on her hand.

“What’s that supposed to mean, Kim Dongyoung?” She raised an eyebrow at him before retracting her hand from his grip.

It was good timing for Johnny to enter the scene with their drinks. “One hot green tea for you,” he handed Doyoung his beverage, “and a sickeningly sweet White Chocolate Mocha for this girl,” he rolled his eyes at Essie who stuck her tongue out in response before grabbing the drink from him. “Okay then, we’ve got all our drinks. How’s everyone doing?” The Korean-American glanced at them both before slurping on his iced Americano noisily.

“He told me he’s seeing someone,” the only girl in the table said, pointing her finger at Doyoung. “Oh, you only told her now, dude?” Johnny’s eyes widened at her statement. “Yeah, it’s not as if I’ve told everyone of this already,” the younger guy mumbled, blowing off the steam that came from his cup.

“Who else knows of this status change, Doyoung?” Essie asked, wrapping a tissue around her drink before sipping on it. “Well, all the band members and you.” He sighed in relief when there was no more steam coming from his drink.

“Okay then…but why do you think I should date someone soon?” She brought back the question that he hoped she would forget.

“You told her that?” Johnny acted as the audience to their conversation, his over-the-top reactions eliciting some looks from other tables.

“I mean, you’re a great girl, you get along well with guys, and I’m sure one of us probably has a crush on you,” Doyoung’s response caught the two off guard. Essie’s face flushed to the point that she had to sip on her drink to cool her down. Johnny, on the other hand, coughed into his drink and looked away from his tablemates.

“Dude, is that for real? One of you likes me that way?” The girl almost choked on her question after she recovered from her momentary shame.

“Yeah, that’s what I think. One of us likes you a lot. As in. I can feel it…” Doyoung glanced at his hyung carefully, who buried his face in his hands in embarrassment. “Oh, stop it Kim Dongyoung!” Johnny whined, making his friends laugh.

Of course, Doyoung knows that Johnny likes Essie. He was the first to know of his feelings toward the girl, and the more the three of them hung out, he noticed how sweeter and kinder he is to her (than to him).

That does not mean that he dated someone so he could get ahead of the two, who he thought were moments away from admitting to each other. Unfortunately, it took them weeks before they got together. He dated because he felt that this girl that he met was perfect for him, and the girl felt the same. He happened to be in a good place at a good time. He wished that his friends would get together soon because he might not take the tension they sometimes had.

Essie, during this time, was still unsure of her feelings for Johnny. They became close over a short period and sometimes, she feared that they could end their friendship in the same way. She didn’t want to ruin their dynamic since she thought that they were doing fine as it is. Although she felt tempted to touch or kiss him in return, she had to fight it because she didn’t want history to repeat itself. Some of the guys that she liked disappeared because she would reciprocate their sweet gestures, when in fact, they didn’t like it. That was a confusing period in her life, which she didn’t want to bring back.

Johnny is both similar and dissimilar to Essie. They are similar in the sense that they didn’t want to ruin their friendship. They are dissimilar because he is sure of his feelings for her while she is still contemplating on it. He wasn’t shy to show how affectionate he can be – he held her hand, wiped away excess food or smudged lipstick from her face, hugged her often, and even kissed her on the forehead or cheek. He wanted her to pick up on his actions, hoping that she would feel the same as him. There were instances that he saw (or felt) it, but most of the time he saw her struggling. He feared that struggle might lead to the termination of their friendship, which was one of the things he feared in life. He’s that whipped for her, man.

As the three regained their momentum and talked about their day, their eyes told of different stories. Doyoung was observant as always, still betting on the possibility they’ll confess to each other before the month ends (and hoping to win against Haechan and Taeil). Essie looked at each guy dreamily, wondering how the former was with his girlfriend and how Johnny will be with his future partner. Johnny’s honey eyes were focused on Essie, who he caught looking at him longingly. When he winked at her, she slapped his arm and flipped him the bird. Their tablemate laughed at their interaction, his mind thinking of ways on how he can get the two to admit their feelings sooner.

\\\

II. Inspired by Johnny's claim on NNN that he’s good at giving massages

“I’m so tired,” Essie grumbled one night after having dinner with Johnny. The two housemates hung out at the couch, still thinking on how to cap off the week. Tomorrow was a Saturday, which meant they could sleep in as long as they wanted. “Do you want to rest now?” Johnny asked, looking up briefly from his phone. The girl shook her head and buried herself deeper into the couch. “My back hurts since Wednesday. I have one of those things you sit on to help with your back, but I don’t think it’s helping at all,” she said, massaging the part of her back that she could reach with one hand.

“Oh, would you like a massage?” His eyes lightened up at his suggestion as he almost jumped on her part of the couch. “I’m great at giving massages,” he bragged, “and if you’re not convinced, you can ask Eomma about it.”

Essie raised an eyebrow at him. “You want me to text your mom about your massage skills? Hey, I trust you enough to give me a good one. So, get into it,” she grabbed his phone to place it on the coffee table and stuck her tongue at him.

“But I suggest you take a shower first, so after I give you a massage, you’ll have a good night’s sleep.” His advice was taken well by his subject, who now stood up to retrieve her towel from her bedroom. “And before I forget, do you have any essential oil you prefer?”

“Lavender, please. I want to sleep well after this hellish week. Thank you,” With that, Essie disappeared into the bathroom to wash away some of her stresses.

\\\

She returned to the sofa in her pajamas while Johnny changed into a muscle shirt and boxer shorts. “Ready for your massage, madame?” He asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“Oh, John! Please don’t give me any ideas!” She retorted, her face flushing with the wink he just gave her. “But yes, I am ready for my massage, monsieur.” She positioned herself on the sofa with her back facing him.

“Do you mind if I…” His hands slid over the edge of her pajama top, and she gave him a thumbs-up. “Okay, baby, if that’s what you say,” he mumbled as he raised her shirt just below her bust line.

“Thank you for offering to do this, Johnny,” she said, her voice muffled by the pillow beneath her.

“Anything for my cute but grumpy housemate,” he said cheerily before coating his hands with essential oil. “Get ready to experience my magic.”

\\\

After massaging her back for thirty minutes, Essie fell asleep. Johnny sensed it when he heard her softly snoring and caught her with her mouth a bit open. “A few minutes from now, she’s going to drool on that pillow,” he said softly before snickering.

“My princess, I’ll just be here on the other couch and watch over you,” he continued in the same tone before plopping carelessly on the seat across hers.

“Okay, thanks. Love you,” she mumbled, burying her face deeper into the pillow.

He tried his best to contain his laughter (and giddiness with what he heard) by biting his lip. “Love you too,” he replied loud enough for her to hear. When he didn’t hear anything else other than her soft snoring, he took out his phone and opened his Notes app to type out his thoughts.

I can’t help but fall in love with her more. I never know what to expect from her, and it makes life interesting. I hope she feels the same way, or else I don’t know what to do with myself.

\\\

III. Inspired by his stint in Lipstick Prince

“Can I do your makeup, Essie?” Johnny’s question startled the girl, who just finished putting on her primer.

The six-footer barged into her room as she was getting dressed. Good thing she wore a bathrobe – she was usually naked or in her underwear when she did her makeup.

“Come again?” She raised an unmade eyebrow at him, hoping she wasn’t hearing things. “I want to do your makeup!” His voice sounded girlish, and he also did a cute pose to convince her further.

“What for? Do you want to film a challenge with my face?” Essie sounded annoyed at the thought of being used for his videos.

“No, it’s not that! But maybe someday,” he coughed over that last part, “but now, I just want to. I feel like doing someone’s face.”

“Why not do it on your face then?” The girl was feeling snappy now as she searched for her brow pen in a pink cup.

“But I don’t have that much makeup, baby. Please, let me do your face!” He whined. She shot him a glare, which he replied by kneeling in front of her. “I am confident that you’ll like what I’ll do.”

“Is that so? Fine, let’s get it.” She twirled her chair in front of him and even spread her arms to show her compliance.

He rubbed his hands excitedly as he approached her. “But first, where are we going?”

“I’m going to have some tea time with my friends,” she deadpanned. “I’m wearing that dress,” she pointed at a forest green dress with a delicate flower print, “and those shoes.”

Johnny gasped when she pointed at the pair of black velvet ankle boots beside her hamper. “Very Stevie Nicks in the fall, baby. I love it!” He clapped his hands together in excitement and looked at the items on her dresser. “So, should I start now?”

“Yeah, you should. I only have,” Essie glanced at her watch, “45 minutes left before I need to get going. So please, do my face now.” She patted her cheeks for emphasis, and he gave her a salute before he got busy pulling out her drawers for makeup to use.

\\\

Essie was impressed with his work. Sure, he was no pro, and she helped him out a bit, but he did a great job with her eyeliner.

“You know I suck doing my eyes,” she said, admiring the thick cat eyeliner he created. “But you made me look like I’ve got my shit together. Merci beaucoup!”

He laughed at her comment as he observed his work again. They decided to do dramatic eyes with a minimal lip, as well as a dewy but flawless base.

“Thank you too that you trusted me to do your face today, baby,” he said, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. “I did 75% of the job anyway,” she muttered, making the guy huff in front of the mirror.

“But it’s the thought that counts! At least I can do makeup for you…”

“Or for any girl, really. I’m not the only one you can do this too, you know.”

“But I want it to be only you.”

The two stared at each other in the mirror, Johnny’s arms still wrapped around her.

“I’m not your doll, John. And don’t even say that I look like one.”

He sighed in defeat and let go of her. “Fine. But my sentiments remain the same.”

She was unsure of how to continue this conversation further, so she checked her phone on the table. “Okay, I have 10 minutes left to get dressed, so Johnny, please step out of the room now.” She shooed him with her hand, which he rolled his eyes at.

“How are you getting there?”

“I’m taking Uber or Lyft, whichever’s cheaper.”

“Let me drive you there. Please?” This time, he didn’t have to use a cutesy voice to persuade her.

“Okay, that’s one offer I won’t resist,” she smiled briefly before it was replaced with a scowl a second later. “Now, please let me get dressed.”

–––

FIN

Couple Things (Part I)

I know this can be a part of the Sugar and Fluff series, but it’s quite long to be a part of the compilation. Hence, another mini-series is born that focuses on Johnny and Essie’s life as a couple. 

How can she, or anyone else, not resist the charms of this giant cutie? Right? As always...

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

–––

Summary: This piece is inspired by another prompt, which I’m not sure if it came from the fluff generator or a friend of mine. It goes like this:

Essie is sick with a cold and can't sleep. Johnny wakes up from Essie’s twisting and turning and has to entertain Essie somehow until they fall asleep.

POV: 3rd person because I believe I wrote it earlier this year. 

Word count: 1,200 + words

Warning: Although this piece was written before the coronavirus outbreak, I do not recommend sleeping with your partner or loved one when you are sick. Please do not follow Essie even if she has a drop-dead gorgeous boyfriend. 

Recommended listening: I will list down the songs mentioned in the story, which I hope you’ll like. 

–––

Essie insisted to sleep beside Johnny even though she was sick.

“It’s just the colds, nothing serious,” she grumbled, lying down on the right side of his bed. “But baby, it can be if you don’t recover from it soon,” was the reply of her boyfriend who looked down at her from the foot of the bed.

The girl snorted before burying herself in the blanket. “Whatever, I’ll sleep here,” she said, shimming herself further into the soft fabric on top of her.

Johnny groaned at his girlfriend’s reaction before he went to his side of the bed. He made sure there was a reasonable distance between them because he didn’t want to get sick as well.

As much as he wanted Essie to sleep in her bed and check on her from time to time, she insisted that she’ll sleep beside him so he wouldn’t be standing up now and then just to see how her condition is.

“I don’t want to be a burden, so I’ll just sleep beside you. I’ll keep a respectable distance, so you don’t get sick too,” she chuckled, flashing him a small smile.

He wasn’t able to respond as she grabbed her medicine, water tumbler, and blanket from her room and placed it on his right bedside table.

\\\

It was two in the morning that Johnny realized he couldn’t sleep properly. Essie kept on twisting and turning on her side of the bed to the point that she was about to fall.

Once he heard a loud thud on the floor, he got up immediately and saw his girlfriend tangled in her blanket.

At first, Essie didn’t react, but when she rolled towards the cabinet, she hit her head against a stray shoe, and she cried in pain.

Johnny stifled his laughter at the scene but shook his head afterward to get back to what he was supposed to do. He picked up Essie from the floor, dusted off her blanket and body from germs, and placed her back on her side of the bed.

As he did so, he heard her mumbling something. “What is it, baby?” he whispered, looking at her face that was mostly obscured by her curls.

“Thank you, daddy,” she mumbled, raising her arms in the air before curling them around his neck.

“So, I’m daddy now?” he chuckled, brushing her hair away from her face. He frowned when he saw how red it was and how sweat pooled on the corners of her forehead and temple.

“Baby, do you feel sticky?” He slipped his hand underneath the blanket and felt for her back. It was damp with sweat. “Oh no, you need to change your shirt.”

The girl groaned before she sat up on the bed. “Can I borrow a shirt, please?”

Johnny was quick to answer her question by plucking a clean shirt from his closet. He handed it to her, and she gestured him to turn around as she changed her shirt. A few seconds later, the sweaty shirt was discarded on the floor, and Essie buried herself deep into the comforter again.

He sighed at the sight of his girlfriend still wiggling under her blanket, thinking that it was better to take care of her when she slept on her bed.

\\\

At 3:30 in the morning, Essie was staring at the ceiling and humming to herself.

She found it hard to sleep again after Johnny picked her up from the floor. She glanced at her boyfriend, who was able to sleep after that incident. But after checking up on him for the fifth time, she was surprised when she saw him looking back at him.

“Youngho!” She cried, slapping his forearm, “Don’t scare me like that.”

“Why are you not asleep?” He asked, his eyes never leaving her face.

“I find it hard to sleep again after I fell. Thanks for picking me up again, by the way,” he acknowledged her words with a nod, “But now I can’t sleep. Sorry if I woke you up. Was I humming too loud?”

“It’s fine. So, how do I make you fall asleep again?”

“Why do you want me to sleep, John?”

“Essie, you need it so you can get better quickly. Don’t be such a brat.”

The girl whined and kicked her legs on the bed as her response. The guy rolled his eyes first before facing his girlfriend seriously. “Baby…” he said lowly, one of his hands gripping her forearm.

“Please make me fall asleep then,” was her calm and collected demand.

Oh, brother. This is going to be hard, he thought, removing his hand from her arm.

“What do you want me to do then?” He started to peel off the blanket from her upper body so he could see more of her.

“The usual, with some singing,” she chirped, clapping her hands together in glee. He moved closer to her – damn it if he gets sick later or on some other day – and ran his hand through her hair.

Essie closed her eyes as Johnny detangled the knots from her hair with his hand. He saw her smiling as he massaged her scalp, leaning her face closer to his hand. She closed her eyes as her cheek pressed against his palm, contented with his action.

He couldn’t help but smile at her reaction and used his free hand to caress the sides of her face. It was warmer than usual (since she was sick), and he pressed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

“Please sing for me, my love,” she mumbled after his cool lips left her.

He thought for a moment, stroking his chin and looking up at the window across him. The girl peeked at him, and he caught her looking. “Essie!” He whined, squeezing her sides gently before he laid down on the bed again.

Johnny sang his version of The Beatles’ ‘Martha My Dear’ by replacing the name with hers.

Hold your head up, you silly girl

Look what you’ve done

When you find yourself in the thick of it

Help yourself to a bit of what’s around you

Silly girl

He heard her giggle, making him peck her on the nose. “That song fits you well,” he commented after he was done.

“Hmph, that song was about Paul McCartney’s dog,” she said, opening her eyes to look at him. “More, please?”

Johnny was in deep thought again as he tapped her outer thigh. Essie closed her eyes again, and this time, she felt sleep was finally beckoning to her.

For his second song, he didn’t sing – he did his version of Yo La Tengo’s ‘Our Way to Fall’. It was technically a song but the lyrics were done in a spoken word manner instead of being sung.

So try and try even if it lasts an hour

With all our might, try and make it ours

Cause we’re on our way

We’re on our way to fall in love

He felt sleepy when he was about to recite the last verse. But he persevered until he reached the last word. When he did, he heard Essie softly snoring with her mouth slightly ajar.

The baby princess brat has finally succumbed to slumber.

He sighed in relief and gently removed his hand from her face. When she didn’t wake, he shut his eyes and drifted off immediately.

–––

FIN

A Tale of Two Valentines (Part I)

Although we’re four months past this occasion, I still want to share this post with you at this time that we’re searching for more love, care, and support. 

Here’s Johnny looking like the ultimate boyfriend material (well, isn’t he always?)  in this edited screenshot. This should give you a clue of what this piece is going to be about!

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

–––

Summary: If you saw the photo, then it should be obvious that this story was inspired by this clip that came from this video. How could I not write anything about it when it’s begging for it? 

POV: 2nd person since this is one of the first Johnny-centric fics I’ve written last year. 

Word count: 1,300 + words 

Warning: Every day is a fluffy and cheesy occasion for me, so I’m not sparing Valentine’s Day from this combo. 

–––

You could care less for Valentine’s Day. Not because you were single but because it’s overrated. People always make it seem like a day for couples when it could be a day for everyone you love – family and pets included.

As you buried yourself deeper into the comforter, you scrolled through your social media feeds and grumbled at how everyone seemed in love with one another.

You had the itch to leave a sarcastic remark on one of your friend’s posts until your phone rang. According to your screen, John was FaceTime-ing you. Do I know of a John? was the first thing in your mind until you remembered that one of your best friends, Johnny Suh, tampered with your phone the other day. Of course, he’s John, duh, you rolled your eyes at your stupidity and clicked the green call button.

“Hey,” you started, your voice still rough from the night before. You were up late drinking with your girlfriends as your celebration of Galentine’s Day (thank you, Leslie Knope).

“Hey, what are you doing?” Johnny asked, who was wearing a white shirt with a plaid coat on top. The background he was in seemed familiar, and your eyes widened when you finally recognized it.

“I’m right in front of your house, come on,” he said, taking a quick look at the background behind him. “It’s Valentine’s Day,” he then showed you the cup of coffee he was drinking, “I’ve got some coffee.”

It was his favorite – iced Americano. That drink suited him well: he’s chill as ice, and he’s more American than Korean.

“Uh, but I’m still in my pajamas, dude,” you muttered, glancing at your cupid cow-printed set.

“It’s fine, whatever,” he said with a smile, “the weather’s really great too. Come on, come out. ”

You groaned in response, slowly taking off the comforter. “Okay, I’ll be right here,” were the last words he said until he hung up.

It took you half an hour to prepare, and you felt rushed. Usually, you took an hour to an hour and a half to make yourself presentable. Since you didn’t want Johnny to wait outside that long, you decided to wear a simple dress and your favorite pair of sneakers. You had light makeup on, and you decided to let your curls loose. If you put in more effort, it might feel like you two are on a date when it’s just a simple invitation to hang out.

As you descended the stairs, you saw that he was comfortably sitting on your couch. “Who let you in?” You asked, forgetting your proper greetings.

“Uh, I let myself in. I have a copy of your house keys, remember?” he said, shaking a keychain filled with a dozen other keys. “And it was starting to warm up outside. I don’t want my outfit to go to waste.”

You rolled your eyes at his comment, and he ran a hand through his hair with a sheepish grin on his face. “Well, Mr. Suh, thank you for getting me out of my house on this fine Valentine’s day,” you curtsied.

“You’re welcome, Ms. Park, and oh,” he reached over the side table and held another cup of coffee. “This is yours.” He stood up now and handed you the warm beverage.

You took a sip and made a face. “Hey, this isn’t my usual order,” you said as you took another sip again. “I ordered Café Mocha for a change, dear. White Chocolate Mocha is too sweet.” It was his turn to roll his eyes, and you scoffed in response.

“And your choice of coffee is like drinking tar,” You eyed at his iced Americano, which was about to be empty.

“Can’t we just agree to disagree? Or else I’m going to ask you to pay for your drink.”  

You flipped the bird on him, and he just laughed. “Okay, but seriously. Let’s go. Have a walk outside with our coffee.” He offered his hand, which you took without any hesitation.

As both of you walked towards the park, you noticed other people celebrating Valentine’s Day in their special way. Some couples were outdoing each other on how they will make their partners happy, while some looked like they were having fun just in each other’s presence.

You couldn’t help but smile at these people in love. You felt your ice heart melt at the joy they were radiating. But when your mind had to remind you that you did not have a special someone, you frowned. Yeah, I’m a single lady walking at the park while drinking coffee. I’m with my best friend, who is one of the most handsome people I’ve ever met…You looked at the man walking beside you, whose facial expression you couldn’t decipher.

“Everything okay, John?” Dang, you weren’t used to calling him that.

“Yeah. It’s just that…I feel happy that everyone’s in love and all, but it had to remind me that I’m a single male.”

Both of you were thinking of the same thing, and you could only widen your eyes in response. “You know, I’ve been thinking of the same thing.”

“Seriously?” He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Maybe you two are destined to be best friends…or even something more.

“I mean, I am happy that the people here are all lovey-dovey, but I want some action too, you know?” You started rambling, eyes focused in front of you while your hands moved animatedly all over the place.

You didn’t see the smile forming on Johnny’s face, which could be interpreted as sheer joy or total mischief.

He cut off your babbling by grabbing your wrist that wasn’t holding your near-empty coffee. He pulled you towards him and wrapped an arm around your waist. You were about to protest, but his breathy voice got to you.

“Why don’t we pretend we’re a couple today? If you’re up to that, of course.”

You looked up at him and saw that both his cheeks and ears were red. His eyes bore into you, expecting your answer.

“Very funny, Johnny. But if you insist…well, people always thought we were a couple anyway!” You were laughing at how people assumed you two were an item since you were quite touchy with each other. Your hands slipped into his, and he squeezed it gently.

“Well, we could make it happen if we wanted to. But it looks like I’m not your type,” he pouted.

You felt your cheeks flame with his admission. If you only knew…

“Did I say who my type was? I can’t recall,” you said, eyes wandering to the clear blue sky.

“I’m just messing with you, dear,” Johnny squeezed your hand again. “How about we grab something to eat? Are you craving for something?”

You put a hand on your belly and rubbed it, hoping it will give you an answer. “How about quesadillas? Or burritos? Mexican food sounds good to me!”

“Por supuesto, mi señorita!” He replied in Spanish, making you thwack him on the shoulder. Deep inside, you swooned at how sexy he sounded whenever he spoke in another language other than English and Korean.

“Gracias! Vamos a comer, porque tengo mucha hambre,” you said, trying to stifle your laughter. It was one phrase that your aunt taught you that you will never forget, as it perfectly sums up your personality.

He wasn’t able to hold it in – he guffawed in public while still holding your hand. It took some time for you to settle down, and when you did, your hands were still intertwined.

“Taco Bell?” He asked, his tone playful.

“Yeah, I’m fine with Taco Bell.” He snickered at your answer and broke away from his hold on you. For a moment, you missed the warmth of his hand, but then it found its way around your waist.

Both of you walked towards the nearest Taco Bell, his hand on your waist and your head on his shoulder.

Now you could care more about Valentine’s Day, even if it’s just for today.

–––

FIN

A Tale of Two Valentines (Part II)

There’s not much to say, really. I just love Johnny Suh, and the scenarios my mind comes up with in imagining him as my partner. 

If only we could end up together, like most of us dream of with our biases. 

This is one of my favorite photos that he shared on his Bubble lately, which I tweaked a bit.

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

–––

Summary: This is the sequel to the first post, wherein Johnny and Essie struggle on what to do for Valentine’s Day now that they are a couple. 

POV: 3rd person as this is part of my pre-quarantine writing from this year. 

Word count: 780 words flat.

Warning: If you squint, there’s some suggestive behavior here. Well, they are a couple anyway. They can do what they please, right? 

–––

It has been a year since Johnny dragged Essie out of her previous apartment to hang out with him on Valentine’s Day. They weren’t together yet, but people thought that they were.

They decided to be a pretend couple on that day, but who were they fooling? They were in love with each other, and it was a matter of time before they got together for real.

Now that they are officially a couple, the two were lost on what to do for their partner the next day. “I feel like Valentine’s Day is every day when I’m with you,” Essie said while holding a half-empty glass of wine.

Even if she came back from a night out with her girlfriends – her usual Galentine’s Day celebration – she was still up for more drinks.

“That’s sweet of you, baby,” Johnny cooed, wrapping an arm around her and kissing her cheek. Both were at the kitchen as they shared a bottle of wine to end the night. “I think the same too.”

“So, what are we going to do then? Tomorrow’s the day,” the girl handed her glass to her partner, who accepted it and drank the rest. “What do you want to do?” He answered after licking his lips clean.

“I don’t even know what to do, to be honest. I just want to be with you,” Essie replied, her turn to wrap her arms around her boyfriend. “It doesn’t matter if we go out or not, I’m content just being with you tomorrow.”

Johnny placed the empty glass of wine on the counter and carried his girlfriend bridal-style toward the sofa. “You read my mind, but still baby! I want this to be special. After all, this is our first Valentine’s Day as a couple,” he said when they settled comfortably on the couch. Essie was sitting on his lap with her arms hooked around his neck while his arms were linked on her waist.

“Let’s do the usual, and maybe we can spice it up with something?” she suggested, slowly removing herself from his lap. “What do you mean spice it up?” He raised an eyebrow at her as if doubting her statement. She got his sentiment and rolled her eyes. “My God, John! You’re already thinking of that?”

“And I’m sure you are as well,” he wiggled his eyebrows this time, eliciting laughter from his girlfriend.

“We’re both horny bastards anyway,” she said, thwacking him on the shoulder. “But no, I don’t mean it that way. Maybe we can spice it up in terms of doing something we don’t usually do?”

“That’s nice, but if we decide to do something unusual, those places might be booked already. Let’s just do the usual and end it with a workout.”

Essie groaned at his suggestion and thwacked him again. “I’d rather have sex than go to the gym, love.”

Johnny laughed at her response, which made him put her back on his lap again. “Hey, what do you have against the gym? It’s a great place to work out!” He pecked her cheek and squeezed her sides delightfully.

“But I don’t like it there! I hate all those equipment,” she grumbled, looking away from his taunting face. “I’d rather work out with little to no stuff at all.”

“If that’s what you say, baby,” he pinched her cheeks and peppered her with kisses afterward. Essie was defeated, but at the same time she loved it – it has been a while since Johnny tackled her with his love.

“I missed this baby,” he whined, kissing her forehead. He was on top of her, but he made sure that she wasn’t squished underneath his weight. “Me too,” she said, pecking him on the lips. “I know I haven’t been a great girlfriend as of late, and I’m sorry about that.”

“Hey, we have our down moments. I understand that,” Johnny removed himself on top of Essie, “and I’m glad that I have these moments with you again. I hope we’ll have them more often,” he helped her get up on the couch and squeezed her hand afterward.

“That I can promise you, love. I hope there’ll be less down moments too,” she kissed him on the cheeks this time, which he reciprocated. “I love you so much, John Suh.”

“And I love you more than that, Jessica Park.”

“No, I love you to infinity and beyond! Beat that, lover boy!”

It was his turn to roll his eyes, but his sarcasm didn’t last long. He laughed at her competitiveness and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Fine, you beat me, Buzz Lightyear. Let’s go to sleep now, shall we?"

–––

FIN

The Dream Synopsis

Sometimes, you write with a goal in mind, and then it ends up in a way you didn’t expect it to. Does anyone have a similar, if not the same, experience? 

Let me know through the comments! 

Anyway, here’s Johnny looking like he stepped out of my dream in this GIF. 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

Summary: This was supposed to be a sweet and fluffy Johnny and Essie piece, but then I don’t know why I had to include hurt and angsty Mark into the mix.

POV: 3rd person here. 

Word count: 1,300 + words 

Warning: I never go all the way yet with Johnny and Essie, but this is the closest thing we’ll get to them getting it on for now. 

Recommended listening: I’m going to include the song that shares the same title below. If you must know, and if it isn’t obvious enough with the previous song recommendations, I’m a big Alex Turner fan.

–––

It was during their off-days that Johnny cherished his time with Essie the most.

He loved lazy weekend afternoons, with the curtains gently moving because of the cool breeze. He and Essie would be on the couch, listening to a curated playlist either one of them made or a record of their choosing. Jaehyun gifted them a record player like his, which delighted the girl.

They usually talked about anything and everything while they were on the sofa. Most of the time, Essie would be lying on top of Johnny’s lap, raising her arms in the air to illustrate her point. Sometimes, he would lean his head against her shoulder and then bury his face in her chest when he wanted to cuddle further.

Their hands were always over and around each other, making them a giggly, tangled mess. They would be more so when they had drinks on the coffee table – coffee for Johnny and beer for Essie. They loved how each other tasted when they kissed. Essie became more tolerant of bitter tastes while Johnny became desensitized to the stench of alcohol.

In one of those ideal moments, he talked to her about his recent dream. “I was playing the piano at an empty theater, wearing the usual velvet suits they make us wear. And I was told that it was a full house,” his eyes never left her face as he shared his story.

“Maybe the organizer was a ghost, and a bunch of dead people were there watching your performance,” she replied after a moment, a smile forming on her face.

“Isn’t that creepy, baby? I mean, what the heck? Why would I dream of dead people?” He sat up, shaking his head a little. He ran his hands through his hair, which seemed to help him compose himself.

Essie watched him fuss about his hair still with the same dopey smile on her face. The little things he did always made her heart feel warm and fuzzy, as cheesy as it sounds. She was extremely lucky to call him hers, which she hoped he felt the same way.

The guy didn’t notice the look of adoration on his girlfriend’s face as he cleared his throat, staring into the space ahead. “Sorry, baby, am I boring you with my story? It must be torture when I talk about my dreams…” he mumbled, tucking his head into his chin with shame.

“No, not at all! I find it fascinating, really.” The girl shifted from her position and moved closer to him. “Talking about dreams is interesting. You can interpret them in a million ways.”

When he noticed that her eyes twinkled even in the dim light of the living room, he couldn’t help but pull her closer to him and kiss her.

She responded to his action with no hesitation, hooking her arms around his neck immediately. They forgot about their world around them as they kissed.

However, they forgot that they still had a housemate who can come in whatever time he pleases.

As the couple made out with gusto, Mark Lee entered their apartment and dropped his bag on the floor. The thud it made didn’t bother Johnny and Essie, as the couple was intent on sucking each other’s faces until they were tired.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t time yet for them to stop. Essie started moaning as Johnny’s hands went down her bottom, cupping it with all his might. It made the guy grunt at how sexy that sounded, and both exchanged small (and dirty) nothings to each other.

Mark couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He wanted to sneak into his room as quietly as possible but he couldn’t keep his eyes away from the couple.

Deep inside, he felt a bit of hurt resurface. He liked Essie more than a noona. He admitted his feelings to her before, yet she politely declined him.

“Maybe it’s not the time yet, Marky. Maybe in another lifetime. But just so you know, I love you as a friend and as the little brother I never had,” those were her famous words that took him some time to recuperate from, and now the pain was back momentarily.

As he was rooted in spot watching his hyung and noona about to get it on, something inside him snapped. He walked away as silently as he could, his eyes downcast. He would watch some funny videos on YouTube to help him erase this image.

But Mark being Mark, he stubbed his toe on the dining table. “Shit,” he hissed in pain, slowly reaching his hand to soothe his toe.

The sound he made got the attention of the couple who were now looking at him.

“Oh, Mark,” Johnny started, gently prying Essie off him. “I thought you’d be back tomorrow morning.”

“Uh, flight was early. Decided to come home immediately. I missed my bed.” The young guy’s answers were clipped despite sounding like his usual self. Essie picked up on this and frowned.

“Sorry you had to see that, Marky…” she said softly, now standing up.

“No, it’s fine. You’re a couple now anyways. Making out is something couples do all the time,” he chuckled before he stepped out of the dining room completely.

Silence hung in the air for a moment until Johnny coughed. “Wow, that was a bit awkward,” he started, looking at his girlfriend.

Essie sighed, plopping back on the couch. “I know. I think he’s not yet over, you know…”

It was the guy’s turn to sigh. “I think so too, baby. But give it time. He’ll be over it.”

“You think so?” She looked up at him in worry, her eyes turning glassy with tears.

“Yeah, I do,” he sat closer to her, “and I don’t want to lose him too. He’s both the little brother we never had.”

“I find it a bit unfair that many people are affected with our relationship, and in a not-so-good way,” Essie huffed, wiping the tears that formed in the corner of her eyes.

“I know, baby. But that’s just the way it is, I guess?” Johnny leaned back on the couch, “You can’t win them all. We’re both good-looking people who click so well. And we’re friendly to everyone. We can’t help but make people fall for us.” This got the girl chuckling, who was now leaning back on the sofa as well.

“I never expected that I’ll be liked this much,” she said softly, her eyes looking at the space in front of her. It was a realization that never seemed to sink into her mind, considering how plain and normal she looked.

“Well, baby, you are wrong about that. Turns out that you’re almost everyone’s type,” he eyed her from head to toe, earning a thwack on his shoulder.

“Don’t say that!” She looked away to cover her reddening face. “I don’t know. I am flattered, but at the same time, I don’t deserve this.”

“Aw, come on!” Johnny tilted her face to look at him, and his heart ached when he saw tears coming out of her warm face. “You deserve all the love, my darling. But you can’t give it to everyone, especially if you’re looking for a partner. And I’m the happiest person to be the recipient of that special kind of love.”

Essie broke down into tears, which Johnny kissed away from her face.

“I love you, Essie Park. Please know that. Nothing can change that.”

Although his words came to her, she was at a loss on what to say. She was overwhelmed with her realization and his confession.

“Oh, John…” she mumbled, burying her face on his chest.

He held her in his arms as she wept, but his mind was thinking if she loved him as much as he did.

–––

FIN

Cool Off (Part I)

I’m back with a depressing piece that has two parts. Why am I doing this to you, guys? 

I have already saved this in my drafts before I went off Tumblr, hence the decision to push through with it first. 

Don’t worry; I’ll balance it out with more uplifting stories. I’ve done it before, right?

I hope you enjoy despite the possible heavy feeling you might get from this. Poor Johnny, that’s all I can say. But he looks hot in this GIF, so consider this as the calm before the storm. 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

Summary: We already know the major challenge that Johnny and Essie had in their relationship, but what if one of them decided that maybe they need a cool off? This is my take on that, with one of them becoming miserable with the other’s decision and disappearance. 

POV: This was written before the lockdown last March and edited just recently, so it’s a 3rd person piece. 

Word count: 1,300 words 

–––

It was not easy for Johnny to come to the conclusion that Essie wanted. 

“I think it’s for the best,” she whispered, letting go of her hand that was in Johnny’s grip. “We need a break. We have hurt each other in the same way, and we need to think about everything.”

“Isn’t talking about it enough?” he asked with tears in his eyes. “I mean, we have a psychiatrist that we can talk to as well. Or we can get a couple counselor or whatever.” 

“That will be part of the process, but John, I think we should go our separate ways for a while.” Her tone was firm yet gentle, but it registered more like the former for him. 

“But you might leave me for good.” It took him a lot to say that statement, which was evident with his shaky voice. 

“But you did leave me. You entertained an ex-girlfriend and got flirty with her,” Essie’s tone was becoming more serious, and it was scaring him.

“But baby, you cheated on me with my best friend. And I bet you fucked,” he retaliated as he wiped the tears that continued to fall from his eyes. 

“I’m sure you did the same,” she sounded completely cold now. “Why don’t you understand where I’m coming from?” 

“I’m trying, but we can do this together, you know?” Johnny ran his hands through his hair to calm himself, but it did nothing to what he was feeling. 

There was a moment of silence between the (soon-to-be ex-) couple before Essie stood up. “I’m going to pack some of my belongings and return here in a month or two. Please don’t do anything to my stuff. I will let you know when I’ll be back. If you don’t hear anything from me, then that should tell you something.” 

She stormed to her bedroom and slammed the door with such force that made Johnny clutch on his chest. 

This hurt him too much. He really did not want to get back on what Essie did, but there was an opportunity for her to feel what he felt when she cheated on him with Jaehyun. 

However, he wasn’t expecting her reaction to it. She was indifferent and started to distance herself from him again. When he confronted her, she thought that having an indefinite break would help them to think about their actions. 

“Why is it that you’re the one who’s angry at the situation?” He said while facing Essie’s door, tears still streaming down his face. “Even if I wanted to get mad for what you did, I can’t force myself to do so. I don’t know what would happen if I let my rage control me. All I can process is hurt, baby.” 

He didn’t mind if he heard her. The door was still closed but opened when he retreated to his room to cry himself to sleep. 

///

It has been a month, two weeks, and three days that Essie left their apartment. Johnny was trying his best to act his usual cheery self, but all his friends can see his struggle. 

“You don’t have to force yourself to be happy if you aren’t, hyung,” Doyoung said, patting his shoulder. The younger guy, along with Mark and Ten, comforted him after their dinner. They noticed that he was on the verge of tears when he heard one of her favorite songs at the restaurant. 

“But this is too much, man,” the tears spilled again, which Johnny wiped immediately, “I still haven’t heard anything from her. And I don’t know if I’m ready to talk to Jay now.” 

“I can’t believe she would do this,” Ten muttered, rubbing circles on Johnny’s back. “But just let it all out, hyung. I think she had a point that you both needed space.” 

“Maybe it’s time for you to think how you’ve been treating her too,” Mark piped in, who focused his gaze on his shoes.

“I have been nothing but the best boyfriend, Mark Lee,” Johnny snapped, glaring at the younger guy. “I don’t know why she would do this to me when really, we could just talk it out.” 

“Maybe both of you need to reflect on your thoughts and actions first before you talk it out?” Doyoung suggested, one hand rubbing his chin thoughtfully. 

“Yeah, maybe that’s that,” Mark said again, “Maybe that’s where she’s coming from. Collect all your thoughts first before you talk it out. Maybe one of you can say things that you’d regret if you don’t calm yourselves.”

“Think about that, hyung,” Ten whispered, whose hand now squeezed Johnny’s forearm. 

“All I can think about is her. Every time I close my eyes, I see her beautiful face. I wonder where she is right now. Is she staying with Nini or with another friend? I wonder if she’s doing okay. I hope whoever she’s staying with treats her well. I wonder if she’s eating well too. I wonder if she’s not hurting herself. Oh God, I hope she doesn’t. I can’t imagine her bleeding on the floor again,” Johnny was babbling, which his friends let him. 

They stayed the whole night until they were able to calm him down. When they tucked him into bed, the three guys hung out at the couch to share their thoughts on the situation. 

“It’s depressing to see him like that,” Doyoung said quietly, who was now fiddling with his thumbs. “I agree,” Ten said, looking at Johnny’s bedroom door forlornly. 

“I know, but both parties have their faults,” Mark started, “Essie noona confided in me about her affair, and to be honest, I was at a loss on what to do. I never expected her to do that.” 

The other two gasped, looking at each other in shock. “The nerve of that girl!” Ten held onto his chest as he tried his best to calm down. “Wow, I never thought that she would get into an affair, and with Jaehyun too,” Doyoung grumbled, focusing his gaze on the floor. 

“It was a lot to take in, guys,” the youngest of them all continued, “and it was heartbreaking to see them cry a lot. Oh God, I hope I’ll never have another encounter like that.” He looked at the ceiling to help clear his mind from the vivid images he recalled – the blood on her blanket, Johnny’s eyes all red and puffy from crying, and the smoke ring he blew right into his face as he questioned his motives.

“I hope so too, Mark,” Doyoung whispered, patting his friend’s thigh. “But not all relationships are perfect indeed. Let’s take their story as a lesson and hope that we’ll not do this to our partners.”

Ten gave him a thumbs-up before standing up. “Let’s call it a night, shall we?” The other guys nodded and went to their designated rooms – Mark was going to share his with the Thai hyphenate while Doyoung will sleep in Essie’s former bedroom. 

“Are you sure it’s okay for me to sleep here?” The black-haired guy pointed his thumb to the pink door. “Yeah, it’s okay. Any of our rooms become a guest room when one of us is out for a while,” Mark said matter-of-factly. 

“And if Johnny says you sleep there, then you do. Unless…” Ten flashed Doyoung a cheeky smile, which made the older guy flip the bird on him. “Real mature there, Chittaphon!” He hissed, sticking his tongue out in annoyance. 

“Guys, stop. It’s late, and we want Johnny hyung to have a good night’s sleep.” Mark’s statement made his two companions shut up and went straight to their rooms. 

If only they knew that despite being surrounded by his favorite stuffed toys, Johnny couldn’t sleep with Essie still on his mind.

–––

FIN

Awkward

I live for moments like these, so keep on reading to know what kind of awkward I’m talking about. 

Here’s a flirty, puppy-eared Johnny to hype you up! 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

–––

Summary: It’s all about sexual awkwardness or any semblance to it with today’s offering. It’s a bit ecchi-ish if you know your anime lingo. Essie becomes a blubbering and forgetful mess, and Johnny couldn’t help but get turned on with that. 

POV: Both of these short pieces are in 3rd person, y’all. 

Word count: 1,615 words 

Warning: There are times that we should be candid about sex talk, and this is one of those times that I get graphic with it of some sort. And oh, italics are for thoughts. 

–––

Essie and Johnny were a hot mess after filming a vlog on the different kinds of red wine.

They were both laughing on the couch, sweaty with their clothes almost in disarray. The guy has three buttons undone on his white shirt while the girl’s skirt was hiked dangerously close to her underwear.

“And to think you wanted to do this alone?” Essie panted, placing her hand on her chest. “Yeah, I know. I’ll die from embarrassment that I’ll get drunk on camera alone. I’ll be more meme-worthy,” Johnny replied, patting his girlfriend’s exposed thigh.

“We shouldn’t do this again,” the girl straightened up, letting the skirt of her silk dress cover her legs again. “This is bad for our health. I think we finished two bottles per person.” She eyed the half-empty bottles of cabernet sauvignon and merlot before turning her attention again on her boyfriend.

“I know I’m going to need more coffee than usual,” he groaned. “Please, Youngho. Lay off on the coffee. Your cum will taste even bitter if you drink more than a liter, I swear.”

Essie was caught off-guard with the last words she said and clamped a hand over her mouth immediately. Her eyes widened in shock, jolting her a bit out of her drunkenness. Shit, did I just say that out loud?

Unfortunately, Johnny heard her loud and clear. “So, my baby doesn’t like how my cum tastes?” He moved closer to her, his hands wiggling in anticipation to touch her thighs again.

“John, please,” she grumbled, moving farther on the couch. “What do you suppose I drink then? You know what Mark said, right?” Her boyfriend’s voice sounded lower than usual – he was in the mood to torture, er, taunt her until she accepts defeat.

“Coffee without Johnny isn’t coffee, and Johnny without coffee isn’t Johnny,” both of them said, with Essie rolling her eyes at the end, and Johnny staring intently at her face.

“See? You know how I’m inseparable from coffee,” the guy didn’t stop moving forward, “so what do you suggest I eat or drink then?”

“John, I swear to God!” Essie hit the end of the sofa, “If only you listened to me and drank pineapple juice whenever we did it, then I wouldn’t be complaining like this!”

She was surprised at the words that tumbled out of her mouth again and buried her face in her hands. I am a worse drunk when I have wine instead of beer, damn it.

“Pineapple juice? Maybe you’d like watermelon juice too! So, fruit juice then?” Johnny stopped perusing her and leaned on the couch.

“If possible, yes. I want to taste something else, love. Your cum’s like battery acid,” Essie groaned, mimicking his action of leaning on the sofa.

He laughed at her response. “Seriously, baby? Where is this all coming from? You’re funny,” he patted her knee, which was within his arm’s reach, “And do you really want to know how yours taste like?”

“Please, spare me the details. I don’t want to know.”

“Yours taste like bitter fish paste.”

His answer earned a pillow thrown on his face. “I said I didn’t want to know!” The girl whined, pouting and crossing her arms over her chest.

“Hey, it’s fair! You commented on how mine tastes like, why can’t I comment on what yours tastes like?”

Essie just huffed and glared at him. “Come on, be a good sport!” Johnny resumed moving closer to her. “Or else I’ll fill you up with my battery acid.”

The girl wasn’t able to do anything once her boyfriend tackled her. “Let’s rev you up, okay?”

“Yes, sir. Please start me up.”

///

If there was another member from the group that Essie had a special connection with, it was Taeil.

After all, they lived close to a month with Jaehyun before the affair and bonded over their love for Frank Ocean and cats among many other things. Whenever he was out, she took care of Ying and Yang, his adorable black and white kittens.

Since it has been some time since the two met up along with their other friends, the girl couldn’t help but tackle him. “Moon Taeilllll!” She cried, almost jumping on him as she hugged him tightly. The tomato-haired guy laughed at her enthusiasm and hugged her back. “Hey, Essie noona! It’s been a while!” He said, drawing circles on her back to calm her down.

“Yes, I know! How are you, Moony? How are our fur babies?” She clasped her hands together in glee as she continued talking to Taeil, which was getting on Johnny’s nerves.

Lest we forget, Essie has been dating Johnny for a couple of months now. They’ve been through a lot – yes, do we need to be reminded of their affairs? – and for him to see her gushing at his hyung irritated him.

What made him almost lose his temper was that her short skirt went a bit up, and he saw a sliver of lace trimming when she hugged Taeil excitedly. At first, he didn’t want to think much of it. But yes, she forgot to put on a pair of cycling shorts and flashed almost everyone with her underwear.

He looked at his friends if they saw the same thing, but alas, they were all in their worlds. Yuta and Jungwoo were teasing each other, while Doyoung and his girlfriend were talking to Haechan in hushed tones. It was just Johnny who observed everything, and he wished that Mark was already there so he’ll have someone to talk to.

\\\

Essie didn’t mean to make Johnny jealous, but she felt that he was fuming because of how touchy she was with Taeil.

Who couldn’t be when he’s such a lovable and huggable friend? If she remembered correctly, her boyfriend mentioned wished that he had his hyung’s body because it was huggable.

Not that Johnny’s body was built in the same way, but the downside of having rock-solid abs is that the body lacks softness and warmth sometimes. There were times his hugs didn’t feel warm enough for her, and she had to stay in his arms for hours just to reach that level of warmth she wanted. No wonder she loved cuddling with Jaehyun more when they sneaked out before since he had more body heat despite having more defined abs.

As she continued to gush to Taeil about the latest cat Instagram accounts she found, she noticed that her boyfriend looked sullen as he listened to Mark. The younger guy arrived late with Taeyong, as both came from another project they were involved in.

“Not that I don’t appreciate you showing these adorable accounts, but I think you should talk to your boyfriend,” Taeil whispered, noticing how Johnny grunted in response to Taeyong’s question.

“I can talk to him later,” she huffed, scrolling through her phone quicker. “He’s a big boy. I’m focused on all these cute cat IG accounts that I think you should see and follow.”

“Noona, don’t be stubborn. Look at him,” he tilted her head towards Johnny’s direction, “he’s jealous of the attention you’re giving me. And like everyone else in the room, I don’t want to incite his wrath.”

The six-footer was now brooding in a corner, with Mark and Taeyong conversing with the other members. Oh God, how can I blame him for not being jealous after all we’ve been through? She thought before finally standing up and going to his location.

“Hey, my love,” Essie started, sitting down beside him. He didn’t move from his spot, but he put up the hood in his jacket to cover his profile. “Hey yourself,” he grumbled, tucking his knees to his chest.

“Are you jealous of how I’m interacting with Taeil?” She went straight to the point, which stunned Johnny a little. He was used to her mincing words every time she tried to apologize for her behavior. He tried to hide his shock by burying his chin into his knees.

“Yeah, baby. I am. I know you have a special friendship, but I can’t help but be jealous of other guys you act very chummy with. Considering, you know…” He was fiddling with his thumbs this time, a sign that he was unsure of the next things he wanted to say.

“I’m sorry, but I didn’t mean to. It’s been a while since I last saw him too, and you know how much I love his kitties. So please, don’t think bad of it, okay?” Essie tugged the hood away from his face and cupped his cheeks in both of her hands.

He looked like he was about to cry, and she couldn’t help but kiss both of his puffed-up cheeks. “I love you, dummy. And I’m sorry that I made you jealous. It wasn’t my intention, I promise.”

“I’ll try my best not to be overly jealous, but baby…” He pulled her into his arms until she was sitting on his lap, “please don’t forget to wear your cycling shorts. You almost flashed everyone with your panties.”

Her eyes widened in fear, and she held onto the hem of her skirt. “Oh my God, I did forget to wear my shorts. No wonder it felt so breezy down there,” she murmured, giving Johnny an apologetic look. “Sorry, my love! It won’t happen again.”

He responded by smacking her bottom before carrying her over his shoulder. “You know what to do to make it up to me, right?” He asked sternly as he readjusted his hold on her.

“Yes, sir,” she whispered, ignoring the eyes that looked at her as Johnny brought her to a spare room.

–––

FIN

P.S. Weren’t those weak-ass endings? Or is it okay for you guys? 

Cool Off (Part II)

After the giggles come the tears again, and here is the second and final installment of this brief series. 

Expect a lot of depressing music here too, so if you’re up for those, I hope you’ll like my recommendations. 

Here's a photo of a young Johnny playing in front of the piano as a fitting teaser.

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

Summary: Read Johnny cope with Essie’s short-lived disappearance as he sings the most heartbreaking songs that she loves. 

POV: Keeping it up with 3rd person. 

Word count: 943 words 

Warning: There’s nothing that you haven’t read yet in other stories, but Italics are for thoughts and lyrics. Mostly the latter though, because I went ham with that one. 

Recommended listening: The titles of the songs are mentioned in the story, so I’ll add them at the end of the story for your listening. Feel free to suggest songs of the same caliber – I would appreciate it so much! 

–––

Since Essie hasn’t returned from her self-imposed exile, Johnny has been on his piano a lot. He usually played depressing hits late at night, probably during times when he couldn’t fall asleep due to the situation. Although Mark hears him play from the comfort of his room, this time he was able to catch his hyung hunched over the keyboard in the living room as he sang his heart out to ‘The Songwriter’ by Father John Misty.

What would it sound like if you were the songwriter

And you made your living off of me?

It was heartbreaking to see Johnny struggle with his performance, whether he was aware that someone was watching him or not. Mark bit his lip as he watched his housemate from a dark corner, crossing his arms repeatedly until he felt comfortable with his position.

Goodbye little songbird, now you’re free

Don’t forget I’m the only fan of yours who has the sense to ever leave you be

How could do this to me?

That last line broke the older guy as he stopped playing and cried for what seemed like an eternity. Mark was glued to his spot, trying not to cry with his hyung.

Never has he seen Johnny so broken over someone, and he wished that Essie would come back soon. However, even if she does come back, it would either be to resume the relationship or cut it off completely. He hoped that it was the former because Johnny will never be the same again.

What would it sound like if you were the songwriter

And loving me was your unsung masterpiece?

The six-footer stood up after finishing the song and returned to his room. It was Mark’s cue to return as well, and he found it hard to sleep after hearing that soul-crushing song.

It got more depressing after that – Johnny sang ‘Without You’ by Tobias Jesso Jr. at three in the morning, which the younger guy remembered was the most straightforward depressing song Essie ever heard. Maybe that’s why he’s playing it, he thought while he lay on his bed.

Why can’t you just love me?

Should I move on or should I wait?

And how’d you get so high above me?

I reach higher every day

But nothing changes

No, it all just stays the same

Mark heard his hyung’s voice break when the chorus came, and he couldn’t help but cover his ears a bit out of secondhand embarrassment and hurt.

I can hardly breathe without you

There is no future I want to see without you

I just don’t know who I would be without you

There is nothing out there for me without you

Without you

Once Johnny was done playing, his crying was the next sound that permeated the whole apartment.

The last song that Mark heard from his hyung before Essie returned was ‘The Ultracheese’ by the Arctic Monkeys, which he knew the couple adored. The band was one of the things that brought them closer, and it was during their concert that Johnny realized he was in love with Essie.

The song was not as depressing as the previous ones, but it still sounded painful as the older guy sang with all his hurt.  

Still got pictures of friends on the wall

I suppose we aren’t really friends anymore

Maybe I shouldn’t ever have called that thing friendly at all

This time, Johnny was able to compose himself and not let his emotions get to the best of his singing. Mark closed his eyes to savor his hyung’s rendition since it was not always he heard him cover a song like this.

Oh, the dawn won’t stop weighing a tonne

I’ve done some things that I shouldn’t have done

But I haven’t stopped loving you once

The croon at the end made the song more melancholic than it is, and the sole audience made his presence known by clapping loudly.

Johnny whipped his head to look at Mark, who was silently crying as he continued to clap. “That was amazing, hyung,” he said, slowly approaching the performer.

“Thanks, dude,” Johnny whispered, looking away from the younger guy. “I miss her so much. I wish she’ll come back now.”

“She will. You’ve just got to be patient.”

“It’s been almost two months, Mark Lee. I’m worried that she has moved on with another person. She should let me know if we’re going to continue this or not, you know?”

Johnny’s voice was starting to break again, and Mark went to his side to comfort him.

“I’m sure she will. Maybe she’ll be back tonight. I can feel it.”

His words proved to be true as the girl returned a bit past after midnight, reeking of cigarette smoke.

Mark was speechless as she popped into his room first and asked him what had happened since then.

“Noona, I’m happy you’re back and all, but please don’t cause any more trouble to your relationship with Johnny hyung by talking to me first,” he said, hoping that his honesty will not be taken against him.

“I’m sorry, Marky. But I wanted to return with a surprise. Is he asleep now?”

He took a deep breath first before responding. “Please, noona. You can surprise him now if you want. I’m sure he would be happier if he was the person you talked to.”

“Sheesh, no need to be grumpy with me, Mark,” she chuckled. “And I’m sorry again for this. Okay then, I might as well surprise him now. Thank you.” With that, she went to Johnny’s room, and they made up for lost time with tears and snuggles.

–––

FIN

Lost and Found

It’s all about balancing different genres in this blog, so here’s another melancholic piece. 

But before I make you sad, here’s a cute Johnny GIF that’s sure to put a smile on your face.

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

Summary: Essie is not her usual self again for quite some time, and Johnny’s starting to get bothered by it. They talk it out, and in the process, learn more about how to make their relationship work. 

POV: I think I wrote this during the start of the year, so this is in 3rd person. 

Word count: 1,600 + words

–––

Essie was slowly losing herself again – the present part of her, that is. 

She found herself holed up in her room most of the time, reading and writing. She watched series by herself sometimes when she felt like it. She needed all the inspiration she could get so she could compose songs. 

Her trip to her home country triggered something in her to be more immersed in the things that she has almost forgotten. 

In college and during her first years at work, she would always have a book in her bag. She would read whenever she was bored or when she waited for her transportation on her way home. Sometimes, she took the time to go to a café, notebook and pen in hand, to write all the quotes from the book she was reading that have inspired her. 

She lost this habit when she moved on to a much hectic job in publishing, which she is still in but in a different country. 

It was as if her trip to her homeland had rekindled her previous passion to the point that she barely talked at home. 

Her boyfriend, Johnny, was concerned. This was not the first time that she distanced herself from her loved ones. 

When she was guilty of her week-long affair with his best friend Jaehyun, she almost killed herself. But now she was living in her bubble and avoided long conversations with anyone as much as possible. 

That applied to him as well, which hurts. He could barely get ten words out of her before she went back to her room after they ate breakfast or dinner together. Most of the time, she ate by herself. When he wasn’t able to cook anything, she would do so herself or get takeout. He was concerned that she had food delivered more often than having a home-cooked meal. 

Despite her aversion to people these days, he noticed that she was more at peace with herself. There was a look of content in her face as he saw her in her room reading a book. Sometimes, he felt her passion for writing when he would look at her write swiftly in her notebook. 

He never fully closed the door to his room so he could always have a look at what she was doing. And of course, the possibility that she would come to him and tell what was up with her. 

But it has been three weeks already, and she continued to float in and out of her world. He felt as if he was gently kicked out, leaving him no explanation and just standing outside of it. 

This time though, he decided to take matters into his own hands. He would break into her world again and demand that he deserved a space inside. He loved her so much that he couldn’t risk losing her to anyone else, not even to herself. 

\\\

Essie, who continued to believe that she was losing her present self, sat on the couch reading another book. 

She knew she was all alone since Mark was abroad, and Johnny left early to work out. She had at least three hours to herself to do what she pleased inside the house. 

She put on an old record and played it softly, opened the windows to let the breeze sway the curtains, and put in a new bunch of flowers from their backyard. She even prepared a pot of her favorite tea and a plate of biscuits on the coffee table to serve as her snacks when she gets hungry from her reading.

The setting was ideal – oh, how she wished she got that beautiful white Gunne Sax dress at the thrift shop to make it even more perfect! She looked down on her peach lace dress she was wearing and smoothed its skirt. She was fine with what she was wearing. 

As she continued to read and flip through the book she was reading (another bizarre Japanese literature book she picked up from the discount bookstore), she didn’t notice that the door opened, and Johnny entered in his gym clothes. He wore a muscle shirt, jogging pants, his trademark black sneakers, and a baseball cap in the same color. As he gently dropped the bag on the floor, he saw his girlfriend humming as she turned to a new page. 

She looked so peaceful with her curly hair down and saw that she wore a smile on her face as she continued to read. 

He didn’t want to ruin her moment, but he wanted to have a moment with her for so long. 

Sneakily, he went behind her and wrapped his arms around her shoulder. “Hey baby,” he whispered, kissing the side of her head, “I haven’t seen or heard from you in ages.” 

His action made the girl stop and place her book on the table. She squeezed his forearms gently and looked up at him. “Hi Johnny,” she whispered back, flashing him a smile. “How are you?”

Her response was a bit heartbreaking. It was as if she had lost in touch with him even if they see each other every day in the apartment. He didn’t let his emotions get the best of him as he kissed her forehead. “Baby, you’ve been distancing yourself again. Why is that?” 

She gestured him to sit beside her on the couch, which he did by jumping over and immediately wrapped his arms around her waist. “Oh, have I? I’m sorry if that’s the case…” He noticed that her hands were still on her sides. 

“Baby, you’ve got to let me know if you need space. I can’t just always guess it by the way you’re acting. You have to let me know if you want to have some time for yourself. And I’ve missed you so much. You’ve been away for two weeks, and yet your mind’s still away now you’re here for almost a month,” Johnny was on the verge of crying as he expressed his sentiments to Essie.

The girl watched him closely – the way his eyes crinkled in distress, the way his eyebrows knitted together in the middle, and the way his lips pouted at the end of his short speech. She was re-familiarizing all these things, as she has forgotten about it momentarily. 

“I’m sorry, John. I didn’t mean to, but I guess you could say that. I do need my own time. I wanted to process everything that happened recently.” 

“Did something happen during your trip?” 

It was Essie’s turn to become emotional. “Yes, dear. It was as if I have reconnected with the person I used to be, the person I wanted to be.”

They stared at each other for a minute, observing each other’s features. Johnny missed looking at her cute button nose and her plump lips while she missed staring into the fading acne marks on the side of his chin. Every small detail counts with them, and these were the things that they kept in mind about each other whenever one would be gone for quite some time. 

“What do you want to be, my love?” 

“I’ve always wanted to be an artist of my own.”

Johnny closed the small gap between them, making his girlfriend sit on his lap. “What do you mean by that? Do you want to act, sing, draw, paint, or whatever?” 

“Well, you’ll see when you watch the vlogs I’ve made. They’ll be up…” Essie glanced at the wall clock across them, “maybe later in the evening. I collaborated with a close friend of mine with the editing.”

The guy’s eyes widened in shock, and he squeezed her tightly. “Wow, my baby has a vlog now! I can’t wait to watch it,” he pecked her on her temple. 

“I think it’ll have installments. So you’ll know more about me then,” she said softly before pecking his cheek. 

He let out a soft ‘oh’ before raising an eyebrow at her. “Is there anything else I have yet to know about you? Don’t I know everything yet?”

His question made her go back to her original spot on the sofa and pick up her book again. “Yes, John. There’s a whole lot of things you don’t know about me still. And maybe you’re the same too. After all, we’ve just started going out. You don’t expect to know everything yet about your partner, right?” 

Johnny stroked his chin while in deep thought, slowly digesting the words she said in his mind. 

“Fair enough. But still, baby…communication is key. You’ll let me know what’s up with you, okay? Don’t keep me guessing or push me away suddenly. Because if you continue to do that, then it might affect our trust with each other.” 

Essie sat still, her eyes boring into him. Her hands were neatly on top of her lap, her book delicately perched in between her thighs. 

“I know, and I’m sorry. But I’m not so sure yet when I’ll be back to my usual self. Or if I’ll be back at it at all,” she chuckled, thumbing through the book and looking for the last page she read. 

“Essie…” He pulled her back again into his chest, and she buried her face in it once their bodies intertwined with each other. 

“Johnny…” She mimicked, her soft voice sounding strange to her ears. 

“Please, baby. I can’t afford to lose you anymore. I want you so bad in my life. Please don’t leave me.” His words were muffled against her hair, but she heard them. 

“Please give me a bit more time and space. I’ll just be here. I won’t leave,” she responded, looking up at him with glassy eyes. 

He kissed her, and she returned it, and once again they were reconnected with the love they have for each other.

–––

FIN