Johnny Angst - Tumblr Posts

He was addictive

Johnny x reader

Summary: You felt like you have loved Johnny since forever. But why would he like you back? So you opted to simply stay friends with him.

Warnings: mentions of drugs

Genre: Angst

Word count: 1k (1047 words)

A/N: I suggest you listen to  “ High Enough - K.Flay (RAC Remix) // slowed.” as i got a lot of inspiration from it!

~~~~~~~~~~            

The car the two of you were in slowed down and eventually came to a stop. You glanced at him and back at the beautiful scenery in front of you. In all honestly, you couldn’t decide who was more beautiful. Him or the scenery.  

You both opened the car doors, leaving them open so that the music you played could be heard outside too. You were alone there, so it’s not like you would disturb anyone else. The sweet ambience of the music paired with the sound of the wind and nature made you relax, as you leaned on the windshield, Johnny didn’t mimic your actions, which gave you the chance to stare at his back.

You had admitted it to yourself long ago. You liked him. No, scratch that, you loved him. But how could you not? Literally everyone liked him for obvious reasons. He is so kind, so fun to be around, so understanding. As his longtime friend, you got to know him even better than what others did and you obviously fell deeper for him.

What he thought was awkward, cringy or a flaw was the thing you adored the most about him. You loved how he acted around people he doesn’t know well, you loved how he wasn’t afraid to show who he really is when he was around his closest friends, you loved how he wasn’t afraid to show vulnerability when he was around you. You loved every side of him.

He was sweet and caring to everyone, but it still made you feel a certain type of way when he acted like that to you. You have experienced so many things with Johnny, he has seen you at your best and your worst. You have seen him at his best and worst too. But other than you, he had other close friends too, who have also seen all his sides.

But how does he always make you feel unique? It’s the way he pays his undivided attention to you when you speak. It’s the way he holds you close when you feel broken. It’s the way he smiles at you, the way he laughs at your jokes.

You’re not sure when you fell for him, but it feels like it had always been like this. Being away from him always made you sad. It didn’t simply make you sad, it hurt you. Johnny was like a drug to you. No actual drug could make you feel so high, as when you were around him. He was addictive and you couldn’t help but constantly want to be around him.

People have needs and have to fulfill them. Just like the need for food, people search for the best product that will fulfill it. If they can’t afford the best one, they turn to lower quality products that could at least fulfill a part of their needs. Similarly, you tried dating other people. But they were all low quality products. You will never feel fully satisfied unless you get the highest quality product. To you, Johnny was the highest quality product.

You could never see anyone other than him. To you, it was only him, him, him. He was always your priority. Over almost anyone else and if someone made you choose between him and another important to you person, you’d split yourself into two just to make sure you were there for the both of them. You just can’t put anyone over Johnny.

You were his priority too. One of his priorities at least. He would try to split himself in order to be there for you too. But… knowing that you’d still forgive him if he didn’t choose you, you’d probably tell him prioritize others over you. Prioritize those he was more afraid of losing. Because he wasn’t afraid of losing you. It’s not that he took you for granted, it’s just that he knew how much you cared for him.

But if he knew, wouldn’t he have realized that you had feelings for him by now? You don’t know if he chooses to ignore them for the sake of your friendship or because he is oblivious, but you believe that it was most likely that he ignored them. He probably knew that if he brought it up, it would ruin the dynamics of your friendship.

Because, let’s be honest, Johnny could never see you the way you see him. He is too perfect and you’re too average. So you decided it’s better to have him in your life as a friend than not have him at all and get rejected.

“Did you ever hear a thing of what I said?” Johnny joked and you finally stopped daydreaming. “No, I’m sorry I was deep in thought.” You said shaking your head.

“I figured,” he chuckled and took a good look at you, who was staring at the scenery in front of you.

“Hey, what’s on your mind?” he said and you waved a hand dismissively. “It’s nothing, what were you talking about?”

“No no, missy, we are gonna talk about this. Seriously, what’s on your mind?”

You sighed. You can’t tell him. You can’t tell him that all that has been in your mind was him. That it was you hoping you’d ever get to kiss his pretty pink lips. That you’ll one day be able to taste them. You can’t tell him that you’ve been thinking of the two of you together, him not seeing anyone other than you just like how you do for him.

Oh, how you wished you were the water bottle he held in his hand, slowly raising to his lips. When he offered you some, you refused, but then cursed at yourself for missing a chance of an indirect kiss. But it’s not like you two never share bottles, so you’ll have this chance again in the future.

You opt for the easy way out, telling him you’re just stressed about a few responsibilities you had to take care of, but that it will go away and that he has no reason to worry. He doesn’t seem to believe you, but he lets it go for the moment and you go back to your daydreaming as soon as he turns his gaze away from you.

[9:01 a.m.] at first, it was little things: the lingering scent of a feminine sort of vanilla on his jacket, when you clearly only wore floral scents. then, his long phone calls that went late into the night, leaving you in bed alone. you didn’t think too much of these things, and in fact, you didn’t want to think about them. you’ve your own shit to deal with, this is the least of your problems. that’s where you fucked up, because well, this could’ve been taken care of far earlier, and could’ve saved you much pain.

when things escalated, and suddenly johnny was home less and less, you began to really feel the loneliness. the breaking point was finding a hickey on his neck that you did not give him one morning, when you happened to wake up before him. you managed to catch a glimpse of a text message that arrived to his phone minutes later, from a contact named soojin. the message?

last night was great, but I wish you would’ve stayed for some cuddles 😩♥️

so now, you’re doing what you have to do. you are quietly pulling out a carrier and putting a few days’ worth of clothes into it, quickly packing your important things, before heading out the front door, leaving the following note by his bedside: “two days is all you get. pack up your shit and get out of my apartment. go stay with soojin, I’m sure she’d love to have her boyfriend stay at her place. if you’re not out of here in two days’ time, I’m calling the landlord to kick you out, I don’t give a fuck. don’t try to call or text me, johnny suh, because it’s pointless. I’ve let this continue for long enough. I’m tired and don’t have the energy nor the time to deal with this. goodbye.”

johnny!! sfw 💗💗

[10:30] Your heart lifts itself in spirits when Johnny wakes up after his surgery. He looks around amidst what you identify as confusion and you quickly hold his hand. Johnny’s eyes lift up to look at you and he whistles. You smile and raise an eyebrow.

“Did the doctor send you in? You’re a total eyecandy.”

Ah, the anesthesia, you realise and you laugh.

Johnny however, continues, “Are you a model? Who are you? What’s your name? You’re beautiful.”

“I’m Y/N, Johnny. And I’m your wife,” you try your best from bursting out into a fit of laughter.

Johnny’s eyes widen and he holds your hand firmly, lifting it up to his cheek in awe. His eyes widen in shock and this time you do not bother to hold back your laughter.

“You’re my wife. Holy shit.” He fans himself with his other hand and you blink away your tears caused by your excessive laughing. “Oh my god. I really did hit the jackpot. Good job, Johnny!”

January.

🎼: Penhasco2 - Luisa Sonza, Demi Lovato.

Scenario: You visit him.

Warnings: angst, mentions of death, grief, vent, guilt....

Word count: around 413

a/n: English isn't my first language. 'Saudade' has no translation.

I still think it was my fault, but how could I ever say no to you? You looked so excited, so happy, and proud of yourself. Your friend has planned a party to celebrate your success on the new project. I decided not to go because I was very tired. I wonder if things would have been different if I had gone with you, would you still be here with me?

“Honey, I never left.” The wind whispers to me, it’s true. You’re still here, in my dreams, my heart, my soul. I always think about you, from dawn until I lie on the bed to sleep. We made so many plans for our future, we were going to get married in a few months, even preparing everything to expand our little family. Things that always brought a bright smile to your face, lighting up the whole world.

I always thought the beeping of a heartbeat monitor in a hospital was a scary sound, but after I heard the silence of yours... I've never been so terrified. I still feel the chills, the weight of guilt, my racing heart. So many things I haven't told you yet, my dear, so many “I love you” stuck in my throat that unfortunately won’t reach your ears. And it was so hard to see the sunset when you were gone.

I miss seeing your face on television, in the media, on my shoulder. The nights never have been so cold, now without you. The food doesn't taste as good anymore, the birds don't sing, the storm doesn't calm down. You were my compass, John, my tomorrow. There are no words that describe the pain I feel seeing the house so empty yet so haunted. Every night I pray to silence my screaming chest, to bring back my peace, you.

I know you don’t want me to be like this, I know you want me to be happy. I hope you know that my love will not be fleeting, I will love you from January to January until the world ends. I'll always call for you at night, hoping to see you in my dreams again. I will see you after the universe, John, our story is not over yet. I know there's still an infinite ending for both of us.

I sigh, feeling heavy, and press a kiss on the harsh stone of his grave. "Saudades, my love." I whisper, standing up to leave the cemetery. “See you tonight.”

a/n: idk why I thought it would be a good idea, perhaps i'll delete this later. Probably my first and last try of angst.

!!! Saudade is a Brazilian word used for a feeling of loss, of lack or missing, of deep longing. It's a feeling that will never go away, that will become a part of you, it's the love that never ends. !!!

taglist: @drugs-and-daddyissues

기분 좋은

✖︎Idol: Johnny Suh

✖︎Request: Yesss Hi! I am Johnny anon. I meant the same concept with dad!johnny. Thank you so much!!

✖︎Genre: 18+ , Angst - Fluff - Slight suggestive (literally bare minimum)

✖︎Word Count: 3.2k+

✖︎Synopsis: Finding out your pregnant should be the height of your relationship right? Not when your boyfriend is Johnny Suh and he's at the height of his career. Hiding it is the best option, but how long are you willing to hide it?

✖︎Warnings: insecurity, hidden pregnancy, Johnny actually knows everything, reader is always sick, pregnancy is spoken from personal experiences, slight suggestive at the end

✖︎A/n: The script for this was surprisingly so easy to write, so why did it take me so long to write this? Anywayyy I had a lot of fun, just visualizing this writing while I was working and I like it a lot, I just love the though of daddy suh sue me. if you liked this please reblog, like, or donate to my Ko-Fi in my bio. request are open for NCT, SVT, and Treasure. (the title means Grateful in Korean, and if it doesn't? blame google translate)

“Jisu I can’t do this.” Your hand shook as you looked at the box in the hand, reading the instructions for the umpteenth time since you’ve gotten home 10 minutes away. Too scared to open it, knowing the finality of the situation will really start settling in.

“You can do this, and you will. Are you sure you don’t want me to come over? I can always get my manager to bring me?”

“No, no I’m good. I need to be a good girl and do this.” Taking a deep breath you finally opened the box, shaking out the pregnancy test. Another deep breath and you ripped open the packaging. With the actual test staring directly at you the fear settled back in.

“I can’t do this.” You groaned, placing the pregnancy test on the bathroom counter, placing your head in your hands. “What if he gets upset and leaves me? What if he thinks I’m trying to trap him?”

“You know Johnny better than I do and you know he’d never think that. It takes two to make a baby. He wouldn’t leave you just because of a baby.” Jisu was right. Johnny was never that type of person.

“But what if his company makes him leave me? What if he gets kicked out of the group?”

“Breathe. Just breathe babe. Stop thinking of all the negatives and take the test first okay? It could still be negative.” Sniffling you wiped the stray tears away, nodding your head despite Jisu not being able to see you.

“You’re right. I’m taking it.”

“Good girl. I’ll be right here the whole time.” After a couple more deep breaths you pulled down your pants and picked up the small plastic stick. To think that something so light was going to change your whole life. Taking off the cap you quickly peed on it, washing your hands and unmuting Lia.

“I did it.” You sat in silence waiting for the timer to be up.

“What will you do if it’s positive? You know Johnny would never hate you because of this.”

“I don’t know. I know I’ll have to tell him.” The timer went off, signaling that the results were up. As you picked up the test you felt as if ice cold water had been dumped on you, running through your veins and forcing your stomach to turn. Dropping in front of the toilet you gagged, vomiting up your lunch unable to answer Jisu who kept calling your name. After your stomach finally emptied you sat with your back against the wall, clutching your phone in your hand.

“Babe I’ll be okay. It’s not the end of the world, and you’ll always have me and the rest of the girls. Yeji and Ryujin have been asking about you, they care for you too.” You were about to respond when your phone rang, a ringtone that Johnny had spent shortly after your 3rd date.

“Johnny just texted me. What should I do?”

“Are you going to tell him now?”

“I can’t do it over the phone. What if he just decides to not come home after I tell him?”

“Babe, Johnny would never do that to you, and you know that. I gotta go, my manager just arrived and Yeji’s yelling at Yuna.” Sighing, you quickly said your goodbyes to Jisu, hanging up the phone and feeling your nerves creep in again as silence fell over the bathroom. A quick glance at your phone caused you to smile.

We are still on for date night tonight? I know work has been stressing you out and we should really get out, you know to help relieve your stress ;)

Such a sweet text from Johnny makes your heart flutter out of control. Tonight, it just makes you feel worse. Logically you know that Johnny would never hate you over this, it takes two people to make a baby, and Johnny with his breeding kink would probably be ecstatic over it. But neither of you have actually talked about starting a family. It’s been mentioned in passing during your first couple of months of dating, a fleeting thought about your future, but this is different. The both of you were well off, able to afford a comfortable sized one bedroom apartment with a nice sized kitchen and living room. But could you emotionally afford a child?

More often than not Johnny’s side of the bed is cold, dust collecting on his side of the room due to his career. If it wasn’t due to him being forced to stay in the dorms because of a comeback, it was back to back shows that were keeping him away, or the tours that kept him away from home for months. What will happen with his career? Johnny is too profitable for the company to just kick him out, but wouldn’t he get in trouble for this? It took him two years to even be allowed to publicly date you, and it’s only been a couple months since they’ve allowed you to come to one of his shows as his official girlfriend. What would happen after the baby comes?

Taking a deep breath you tried to calm your racing thoughts and just text Johnny back.

I’m feeling sick. I’m sorry baby, don’t think I can do date night tonight.

Our next show is in a couple days so they won’t mind if I sneak off back home. I’ll bring you some soup and medicine love. Be there in 30 minutes

Rolling your eyes you shot him a quick ‘I love you’ before standing up off the floor. Looking in the mirror you quickly turned on the cold water, splashing it over your face in hopes that it would help. Johnny would take one look at you and instantly know that something was wrong, he might know that anyone just because he’s Johnny and seems to have a sixth sense when it comes to you. Another look in the mirror and you decided you looked good enough. Grabbing the pregnancy test you walked back into your shared bedroom, looking around for the best hiding spot for the test.

Where would Johnny not look?

You could hide it under the pillow, but that's disgusting, it's a stick you peed on. Maybe in one of your hoodies? That wouldn’t work either, most of your hoodies are actually stolen from Johnny. What if it was the day that Johnny wanted that specific one back? Walking over to your night stand, you quickly put it underneath one of the stray books that had started to reside there. Your stomach turned again as you hid the test, but you swallowed the urge to gag. Grabbing some spare clothes, and heading back into the bathroom for a quick shower.

Steam filled the bathroom as the hot water hit your skin, bringing you a little sense of relief. While scrubbing your arms your thoughts went back to Johnny. The biggest negative in your mind is Johnny’s career. Thinking back to when his fans sent multiple hate messages to both Johnny and you when they found out about your relationship. A majority of them were supportive of your relationship, grateful that Johnny had found someone to care for him and that loved him even more than they did. But there were some of them that slipped past the lines of supportive fans, sending hate messages about how you weren’t good enough for Johnny, and how his career would go down the drain now that his fans knew that he was no longer available.

What if there weren’t any supporters for your pregnancy? Of course your friends in Itzy would support you, Jisu standing by your side even while you took the test, but what if the Neos didn’t support you? A baby would change the group dynamic a lot, especially with Johnny being one of the oldest members. The younger members looked up and depended on him, what if they got upset due to him being unreliable because of the baby?

“Baby?” Three trill knocks on the bathroom door caused you to shriek, before the door opened only showing Johnny. “You’ve been in here for a while. Are you okay?” You quickly nodded your head before telling Johnny to leave the bathroom, Johnny only laughed at you, before closing the door quietly behind him. Sighing you quickly washed the soap from your body, followed by your scrambling to dry yourself and put on some clothes. You didn’t know just how long Johnny was waiting while you took a shower, and you felt bad for causing him to wait, knowing that he came all this way to make sure you felt better.

“Have you taken any medicine?” Johnny didn’t give you the opportunity to answer, knowing you better than that. He handed you a small shot glass filled with bright pink liquid. “I know you didn’t. Take it then try and eat something, you’ll feel better.” A whine started to crawl it’s way out of your throat but the look that Johnny shot you made you sigh instead, taking the liquid back like a shot. The taste of artificial bubble gum made you gag, but thankfully it wasn’t anything serious. “Come on. I got you some kimchi jjigae, it always makes you feel better.”

What would you do without Johnny? The nerves still running through your veins slowly dimmed throughout the evening, an evening filled with Johnny caring for you - he would make such a great dad if he’s already that intune to your needs - by forcing you to drink water, pulling you into bed beside him making sure that you were comfortable before putting on your favorite movie.  By the time you fell asleep, safely and warm in Johnny’s arms, all of your nerves were gone and the thought of your pregnancy was pushed to the back of your mind.

You truly thought that you would be able to hide your pregnancy for much longer. There were no visible or physical symptoms besides the vomiting on the night you found out, but that was mainly due to nerves. No appointment to the obstetrician has been made yet - having a professional tell you about your pregnancy made it more real - so you still weren’t sure how far along you were. It’s been two weeks since you found out, and your anxious thoughts were starting to eat you alive. How would Johnny react now if you told him? You waited for so long. What if Johnny thought that it wasn’t his baby?

“Aye Doyoung’s back with the food.” The raucous cheering in the room caused you to jump, remembering just where you were. Their manager only gave you a strange look before turning back to watch the boys. 127 decided to do a random mukbang live, and Johnny had you tag along, so you were just sitting behind the camera, safely out of view from their fans and listening to their conversation. Doyoung sat down, gently placing the three gigantic bags of food down in the middle of the circle they had made on the practice room floor. After all of the food was removed from the floor and placed haphazardly on the floor they removed the tops, Haechan whined over their long wait caused by Doyoung, leading to all of the boys laughing and trying to calm the two so that they could eat. By the time everyone was calm enough and digging into the food your stomach had started to roll, the smell of the chicken caused you to gag. Covering your mouth with your hand you tried to disguise it as a yawn, hoping that no one would think too much of it.

But after five minutes of trying to hide your disgust, you could feel yourself begin to gag again, accompanied with your eyes water. Jumping up you hastily left the room, trying your best to be quiet but the sound of your frantic footsteps could still be picked up on the live, followed by the sound of the practice room door shutting. All of the Neos instantly looked at Johnny, concern written all over their faces.

“So sorry guys, looks like one of our managers got sick. I’ll go check on them. Don’t miss me too much.” Winking overdramatically at the camera Johnny stood up, promptly following you. It wasn’t too hard to find you, the closest bathroom was only three doors down from the practice room. Johnny actually started to get worried when he opened the bathroom door, hearing your violent groans and gagging. Opening the stall door, Johnny felt a sense of dread hover over him at the sight of you hunched over the toilet. Squatting down behind you Johnny held your hair out of your face with one hand, rubbing your back with the other, patiently waiting for you to stop throwing up.

After Johnny helped you up to the sink so that you could wash your mouth he placed his head on your forehead and cheeks.

“You’re burning up.” Pushing his hand away you shook your head, trying to dispute it but you felt dizzy, slightly falling into Johnny’s arms.

“I’m fine. Go back to your live, I’ll be fine.” Johnny only shook his head, before pulling out his phone and sending a quick text that he was taking you home with a fever. Some time after getting into the car you passed you, or at least you were delirious. You don’t really know, only remember waking up hearing Johnny rummaging around, muttering something about medicine. You only rolled over, allowing yourself to fall asleep once more.

The next time you woke up Johnny was forcing you to sit up, ignoring all of your weak attempts to fight him and whining over being tired.

“Take some medicine and you can go back to sleep. Please baby? You’ll feel better.” Johnny would normally melt if you looked at him with your doe eyes and a pout on your lips but he knew you needed to take this medicine.

“Promise?” Johnny’s heart dropped at that. How could you be so cute while so sick?

“Promise.” Holding the spoonful of medicine to your lips Johnny sighed when you opened your mouth and happily took it, only whining slightly before he placed a cold glass of water to your lips. You drank that gratefully before he allowed you to lay back down, placing a kiss on your forehead as your eyes closed.

Taking care of you when you are sick might be harder than taking care of a child. At that thought Johnny looked back over at you, sitting on the edge of the bed. Placing his hand on your flat stomach Johnny rubbed it softly, causing you to sigh in your sleep before snuggling closer to his heat.

Were you actually pregnant? The pregnancy test sitting in your night stand beside your medicine said so, but you hadn’t mentioned anything to Johnny about it yet. Why didn’t you tell him yet? Your ‘mysterious illnesses’ probably have something to do with that. The thought of you being pregnant with his baby caused his heart to grow, and a warmth to settle over him. His baby. He was going to be a dad. As excited as he was, he knew that you needed to come to him with this yourself. He didn’t want you to feel pressured, and it was going to be hard to hide his excitement but he would do the best he could. Placing a kiss on your stomach Johnny stood up, he had a lot of planning to do.

-

Today was the day. You needed to tell Johnny you were pregnant. Jisu had chewed you out last night over the fact that you still hadn’t told him, and your symptoms were starting to pick up. Your bladder felt as if it was going to constantly explode every two seconds, no matter how much or little water you drank, heartburn was a bitch that decided to cause you consistent pain after eating, no matter what you eat, and nausea had started causing you to turn away from some of your favorite foods. In other words, it was becoming more noticeable and you couldn’t keep hiding it.

That’s you ended up corralling Johnny on the couch, him watching you carefully while you paced around in front of you. How aggressively you were pacing you wouldn’t be surprised if your neighbors below you started to hate you.

“Baby whatever it is, it can’t be that bad right? Or did you murder someone in that case I might have to leave.” You flipped Johnny off, ignoring his bad excuse of a joke in favor of taking a deep breath. It’d be better if you just blurted it out right? Why build it up? Just let it rip.

“I’m pregnant.” Tears instantly started pricking at your eyes, expecting some crazy reaction from Johnny. Maybe he’d be mad? Or sad that you ruined his career?

“I already knew.” That forced you to stop in your tracks, mouth dropping open at Johnny’s air of casualness that showed that he was being serious.

“What?”

“I found the test after you got sick? Remember, you vomited at the SM building then pretty much passed out on the way home. I don’t have any medicine here, all of it is in your nightstand, which by the way was an awful place to hide a pregnancy test.”

“Why wouldn’t you say anything? I’ve been worried over how to tell you for weeks. Jisu cussed me out over it last night.” Johnny chuckled a little at that revelation. The revelation you were having is that you might have the worst baby father in the world.

“I didn’t want to force you to tell me. But,” Johnny stood up, walking around the coffee table and placing his hands around your waist, “I’m excited to be starting a family with you.” A quick peck to your lips caused your cheeks to heat up, a bright smile spreading across your lips.

“Really?” Johnny nods excitedly, his smile matching yours.

“I’ve always wanted to be a dad. Knowing that you’re the one carrying my baby is a dream come true.” You couldn’t hold yourself back from jumping on Johnny, who only laughed as your legs wrapped around his waist. Leaning forward Johnny placed a sweet kiss on your lips, longer than the one that you previously had. Having this weight off of your shoulders you could finally feel grateful for your blessing. You could finally look at baby names, or start planning for a nursery.

“You're healthy right?” Raising your eyebrows you nodded your head slowly, suspicious of Johnny’s random question.

“Yea? Why?”  Johnny hands slides from where it was supporting your back down to your ass, gripping it gently. “Really John?” He only poked out his lips in a pout, making sure to give you his best puppy dog eyes. Rolling your eyes you only placed a peck on his lips.

“Let’s reenact the night you got pregnant.” Johnny wiggled his eyebrows causing you to laugh.

“You’re disgusting. Lead the way.” He didn’t need to be told twice, Johnny hastily walked to the bedroom, sparing valuable time in order to kiss you as much as possible.

How could he be any more grateful when he had you by his side?

me gustas tu

pairing. rival idol johnny + idol afab reader

summary. an imagined scenario of what it would be like to have the johnny suh as your rival idol.

warnings. suggestive, strong language, mentions of alcohol

note. i'm back? i think.

"and the SMA for the best composer goes to... Y/N!"

the applause was deafening, yet you remained stoic. with a minuscule smile etched onto your lips, you graciously walked onto the stage and accepted your award.

as the speech you prepared blurted out from your lips, a familiar pair of brown irises glared into yours. you could recognize them even among a sea of ten thousand people in the dark, you were sure.

"but most of all," your smirk grew. "thank you for hating me. you losers sure give me the motivation to grind harder than ever."

the cheers seemed to subdue as you caught his expression hardening. those mono-lidded eyes held cinch about one thing for sure— your dress looked awfully good on you.

sigh. that was all he could muster.

as you descended the stage, his eyes were raking over your form, red dress stretched over your ass. he realized that this vision of his would be enough to satisfy his fantasies for the rest of the month— because he knew he would never be able to fulfill them.

the dusk fell, and soon you found yourself in the ballroom of a hotel that had been booked. your body stumbled under the glittering lights as you brought up a glass of champagne to your painted lips. as the alcohol seeped in, you realized that he was onto you.

johnny's eyes were trained on you. despite managing to hold a conversation with 3 of his peers, his attention was solely on you. the Chicago native cursed the heavens above for not being able to get you out of his head.

groaning, he grew frustrated. "excuse me, gentlemen," he tipped his glass towards them, before making his way over to you. he sauntered through the sea of people, muttering out apologies to every body he bumped into— beelining for his one destination.

presence beaming with curiosity, the dark-haired man suddenly grabbed your waist and your glass, smoothly landing both containers of champagne on a table before gliding you toward a corner.

the music was too loud, but you knew that you'd still pay heed to johnny's voice more than anything.

"well well well," you giggled, grabbing onto his shoulder for support. "if it isn't my number one hater! how are you doing after losing to me?"

your open back was pinned to the curtain-draped wall as you peered into his eyes. there it was again, the infamous siren eyes of johnny suh, Chicago's heartthrob— those eyes loomed over your own.

your heart was swimming with desire, every inch of your being wanting to claim the man in front of you.

but you knew you couldn't.

your entire relationship with johnny was based on backhanded taunts, rude remarks to the press, and constantly spreading hate about each other on social media— there was nothing sweet about this story.

"my fans seem to be tired it seems, how could a lazy fandom like yours ever win?" he smirks, pulling you impossibly close to his body.

"oh there it is," you grabbed the collar of his blue thom browne suit. "there's the johnny suh i know! was wondering how you could stay put for that long," you hiccuped. the man wanted nothing but to kiss your pouty lips.

his mouth itched with the urge.

"and i was wondering how you could stay sober for so long."

offering him a simple laugh, you smack his chest, before allowing your hands to slide down to his torso. the white and newly pressed shirt feels crisp under your finger and, oh how you wanted to rip every button off them.

when you look up into johnny's eyes, he is staring at you with blown-out orbs, and you knew you were in dangerous territory. you just had to mark it.

time was running out. you had to do something— anything— to let him know that you wanted to accept this carnal attraction as much as he did.

you near his face, nose nearly touching the tip of his. johnny's chest bursts aflame, thinking that this is the moment.

the moment he had awaited for a lifetime.

"me gustas tu,"

you bent down, placing a small kiss on his collar. the red Dior lipstick transfers onto the blue suede, leaving a distinct mark. before johnny has time to react, you are walking away— blending into the crowd as your devious smirk floods his mind.

© nachojaehyun, 2024

Burnout Teaser, B-Side

I'm the type of writer who gets triggered to write something because of a song.

This is one of them, which I'm not sure if I'll include in the official timeline of Burnout. What do you think?

Mahal ko kayong lahat!

POV: 2nd person

Word count: 479 words

Additional notes: Italics are parts of the letter Y/N is reading.

---

I’m the only motherfucker in the city who can handle and stand you.

That familiar line has been used on you, and you never thought it would make you cry. You loved the stripped-down version of that song, and you jokingly dedicated it to him.

He even played the song for you on the piano in a drunken state. He was never one to play the instrument often, “but for you darling, I’ll do it all again,” he slurred with a dopey grin on his face while looking at you then. You remembered returning the same smile before bursting into laughter. This happened during a party in New York that both of you crashed into, and you told him that you had no regrets about doing this. He agreed and then decided to do it again next week.

Fuck it. You couldn’t help but be reminded of how the both of you were so inseparable. The memories you had together were too vivid, beautiful, and felt like they came from an A24 movie. The tears that continued to fall felt hot on your face, but you had to carry on reading the rest of the letter.

I might not be the only person to claim that now, but I wish that the next motherfucker who will love you not turn out like me.

I hope your future partner will give you everything you have always wanted and make you feel satisfied. I also pray that you have a good future ahead.

I don’t know if this is how you wanted closure, but I hope this wraps up things between us. I loved you, Y/N. I will never forget that. But life happens. We feel things. We do things. We hurt. We never mean to, but it’s not always how the other person sees it. And I sincerely apologize again for everything.

If you think this letter brought upon more questions, I leave it up to you if you want to reach out to me. Not that I’m discouraging you, but you call the shots. I might be there, or I might not be. The future is very unpredictable.

Well, I guess that’s it. Thank you, Y/N. Goodbye.

You shut your eyes as you read the last words of his letter. Did this answer everything that had been running in your mind since he left? Will this closure help you completely move on from him?

You folded the paper hastily back into the envelope and threw yourself in your bed. It had been only a day since you got back, and then you got this surprise. Feelings that you had locked away in a chest deep in your heart resurfaced, and you promised yourself that you were okay now. But you really weren’t.

Johnny Suh still had a deep impact on you, and he was the best you ever had.

---

FIN

I loved this. The development of the relationship was done really well especially from their first interaction together. I’m going to read part 2 immediately so that I can see the conclusion to this work of art.

the legend;

∎ Everyone talks about him. Literally. He is at every party you go to and he always has a great time. No, an amazing time. This dude is a legend. You hear about all of the crazy things this guy does; swimming in the river in the middle of winter? It was bet; his 24h keg challenge? Did it without giving it a second thought; and the senior girl he slept with when he was only a freshman? I told you, a legend. He is the guy every girl wants to take to formal, but no one actually has the guts to ask.

∎ pairing: johnny x reader.

∎ genre: fratboy!johnny; angst; smut;

∎ warning: NSFW (explicit sexual content); alcohol and drugs consumption;

∎ word count: 20k.

FRATHOUSE MASTERLIST. 

READ PART II HERE. 

Keep reading

Part two did not disappoint at all. This was a good conclusion and I really liked the pining that they went through.

the legend; pt. II

∎ Everyone talks about him. Literally. He is at every party you go to and he always has a great time. No, an amazing time. This dude is a legend. You hear about all of the crazy things this guy does; swimming in the river in the middle of winter? It was bet; his 24h keg challenge? Did it without giving it a second thought; and the senior girl he slept with when he was only a freshman? I told you, a legend. He is the guy every girl wants to take to formal, but no one actually has the guts to ask.

∎ pairing: johnny x reader.

∎ genre: fratboy!johnny; angst; smut;

∎ warning: NSFW (explicit sexual content); alcohol and drugs consumption;

∎ word count: 11k.

READ PART I HERE.

FRATHOUSE MASTERLIST.

Keep reading

[10:48 PM]

seconds after a short text, johnny is already at your side.

you’re already sobbing when he pulls you into his arms. you close your eyes and sob even harder as he cups your face in his hands so gently that you barely feel it. you look into his soft brown eyes, unstoppable tears streaming down your flushed cheeks.

“oh dear,” he murmurs as he pulls you closer and lets your tears wet his light blue hoodie. “who hurt you?” his face is overwhelmed by concern for you and he strokes your swollen cheek with one hand. 

you don’t respond but clench onto the fabric by his waist tighter as you burrow inside what seems like a perfect paradise, safe and separated from the rest of the world. you’re shaking and sobbing and everything in-between, and johnny wraps his strong arms around you quietly.

“i-i can’t do this,” you say, your voice cracking as you speak the words. you’re looking at him, into his eyes that almost seem to reflect the hurt you feel. 

he listens.

you tangle your fingers with his, using all four clasped hands to wipe your tears. “i need to run away so bad.”

“i’d love to take you with me,” he breathes, “but you know i can’t.”

you would smile, but you can’t. “i know.” you know too well. you lean back into his chest as he leans his head on yours, and wrap your arms around his waist firmly - as if he’s a lifeline. “i know.” 

johnny presses a kiss to your head and gently pats your back as you continue to sob, each choked cry shattering his heart even more.

[10:47 pm]

“kiss me like you love me,” you breathe as you lean into johnny, his warm breath brushing over your lips as his hands gently take hold on your waist.

johnny’s eyes seem to kiss your eyes just as passionately as his lips kiss your lips - until your eyelids flutter shut under his insatiable dark brown gaze. his hands have made their way up your torso and are entangled in your hair, his long fingers softly holding your head as he leans down to meet his lips with yours. johnny’s mind pleads with him to savor this moment with slow, tender kisses upon your lips, but his heart races so fast that he can barely think.

johnny has been dreaming about this very moment since sophomore year of high school: the year he realized he did love his best friend. he had dreamt about this very moment every time you tucked your hair behind your ear; every time your mutual friends teased the two of you for bickering like an old married couple; every time you introduced johnny to your new boyfriend with a cute giggle and a peck johnny always wished was for himself; every time you wore his oversized light blue hoodie for heartbreak sleepovers, wrapped in his arms and crying over a movie and your breakup as he ran his hands over your hair comfortingly.

johnny has dreamt about this moment so often that he doesn’t understand how you can tell him to kiss you like he loves you - how you can be so oblivious to the fact that he’s loved you and your endearing, pink-cheeked smile for years on end.

johnny swallows back the three words clawing at his throat - begging to be let free just to be shattered into pieces - as he pulls you closer. “kiss me like you love me,” he repeats in a breath, and hopes you didn’t hear his voice cracking ever so slightly.