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spooning it out, spatualing is the next big trend. slide up behind your partner and then launch them out of bed
SKELETONS AREN'T SCARY
WE'RE FILLED WITH THIS PULSING, OOZING MEAT
AND Y'ALL THINK THAT SKELETONS ARE SCARY
THE MEAT'S SCARY
THE MEAT
all i ask is for you to get to know me on a deep, intimate level while i resist and obstruct your every attempt to do so
when having difficult conversations over text i believe in a method called "the sandwich approach" it's where you send one meme, then six emotionally vulnerable texts, then another meme and "lmao" as a garnish
just tried to say “you’re welcome” and “no problem” at the same time and it came out as “your problem”
no, these man-made horrors are beyond YOUR comprehension. i get it though.
when a guy asks you if it's your "time of the month", just casually say "no, it's not the full moon yet" and walk away
*does a gay little experiment that challenges god*
no, sir, i will not elaborate
because i have no idea what i just said
who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking everything is fine
“i could fix him“ “i could make him worse“ but why????? why all this diy???? stop interfering, he’s my psychology case study for my thesis and i just wanna stand over his shoulder and see what he can fuck up
new genders just dropped:
- no longer wish to be perceived
- must be the most fuckable person in the grocery store
if you put a cake under a box propped up by a stick tied to a string i will still go for the cake without hesitation. i’m aware i’m going to get trapped it’s just nice to feel wanted sometimes.
i’m thrilled to announce that i am giving up!
so excited to see where this new decision is going to take me!!!
wearing big shirts is amazing cuz if someone wanted to stab me they wouldn’t even know where i am in here
isn’t taking a break from work and napping just the human version of rebooting
like if you can’t get it done, have you tried turning yourself on and off?