Attack On Titan - Tumblr Posts

this pic goes so unnecessarily hard

*credits to @ooohladymaria*

The Reality of Levi Ackerman's Personality

If he were "personality-less" (a difficult thing to define, honestly) as some people say, it would be due to the sheer trauma he's been exposed to. Humans, when in traumatic situations, turn to the fight-or-flight response for help and turn on the Monkey Brain to survive. This is something of an emotional/personal growth stunt. This is why it is very difficult for people who went through trauma as children. They are not rediscovering themselves; they are discovering themselves. Levi, who has only just escaped the endless trauma of the war, is now crushed under the weight of grief for his mother, the things he saw at the underground brothels, his friends, his comrades, mental issues from all he's witnessed, a sudden loss of independence, and the reality that he's a cripple and will never be the way he used to be (which will only feed the hypervigilance he inevitably developed).

It's been some forty years. His personality is built out of the trauma he's endured, so of course, he isn't going to look/act like your normal guy.

As an old guy with nothing to do, he'll go out and discover himself. The food he likes (in the underground and in the scouts, you take what you get and don't complain), the hobbies he enjoys, posssibly new friends who he won't be so afraid to lose to death, etc. But he's going to spend a lot of his time trying to heal from forty years worth of trauma. He probably won't, not before his life ends, so in short, Levi has quite a few excuses to be the way he is.

Attack on titan

Levi Ackerman

Dear lord I now know what they mean when they say ‘pictures you can hear’

*breathes in with the full awareness that my take will kill the vibe* stunning art but the rain and fog have to be such massive triggers for Levi given how his first expedition outside the walls went…

Tears in the rain

It’s really something with Levi Ackerman and listening to The Weeknd. Inspiration hit me so hard again and I kiss Levi my muse for that 🥰 Also I didn’t ever draw him with his cape and uniform before, definitely gonna do that more often.

Made with Procreate 🎨

!Reblogs and comments as likes, are always appreciated! Please don’t not repost or claim it as yours!

Goddamn even the way they animate grapple lines in this scene is sexy…

how babygirl looks at me when i doodle him instead of take notes in my nursing class

Placing my chin directly in his hand 😊

Levi Ackerman

In spite of the issues I may have with the OVA and its deviations from the manga I will say that the way they animate Levi throughout is 🤌

Underground Levi lives in the front right part of my brain at all times ♡

THEM

I mean, I’d probably piss myself if I were marlowe or hitch, but as a protected interloper… TIDDIES 🤭

did i post this? just how imposing he looks rjgkwjdjgjejfjrjdfjejejrjt and his boobs

Journal

This did not at all go where I thought it would, but it’s here. This is my first X Reader I’ve done so if you have some input, it would be greatly appreciated-

includes: Levi, Y/N

warnings: Mentions of dark thoughts

length: 2,535 words

"Cadet!" 

You were quick to glance over your shoulder, wondering how you've messed up this time. You were just about to leave the mess hall, so you were probably going to be scolded for being the last one out, or for not eating again. Levi always snapped about how he needs you at your best.

"You forgot this," the captain said, his stoney blue eyes narrowing as yours widened, "Or did you leave it on purpose?"

It was your journal, the one you were always buried in whenever you could be. You did leave it on purpose, hoping someone would find it and save you from yourself. Hoping that someone would notice all of the changes in your behavior, hoping someone would hear your silent screams. Yet, seeing that it was Levi fucking Ackerman who returned the journal? You wished you had kept suffering alone.

"And it has so many…" Levi hesitated, almost like he was trying to find the right words to string together. "So many horrific thoughts written inside of it."

You could practically feel how serious he was while he gripped your prized possession just a bit tighter. You couldn't handle the growing silence, so you broke it.

"I should know. It's mine, after all." He didn't find your joke very funny. 

Levi opened his mouth, picking his next words carefully, "What's going on with you? You haven't been yourself recently."

You mentally swore, fingers twitching at your side. Levi didn't fail to notice, making his abnormal concern grow.

"What do you mean, Captain? I'm perfectly fine." As much as you wished the forced chuckle in your voice would change his way of thinking, it didn't.

"I'm more than certain something is happening with you," his voice grew more pointed as he stared at you, "There's no point in trying to hide it. Just spit it out."

"Why would you even bother asking?" Your muttered question left your lips before you could stop it.

"I want to know because I care about you. That's something a lot of people can't say, so don't go off wasting my support," Levi's tone didn't change and you sucked in a much needed breath. 

You wearily watched him place the journal on one of the long tables in the room, the soft thud reminding you of how many hours have gone into fruitless attempts of venting out your pain.

"Stop being stubborn and tell me what's going on, cadet." He inched closer, and you stepped back in response, eyes darting to the table.

"Once again, Jean and Eren left their spots disgusting. Do you want me to clean up, or would you rather chew them out yourself?" You gave a tight smile, forcing yourself to look back at him.

"Don't change the subject," he growled, a strange blaze flaring up in his eyes. Levi noticed how you tensed and he sighed to calm himself. "The things that you wrote in that book," he started, never once looking away from you, "Those were some seriously dark thoughts, and if you honestly do feel that way, you need to talk about it. So, stop trying to be the coldhearted badass and let me know what's running through your mind."

He sounded like a parent trying to convince a child to admit they broke something. It was a bit frightening in all honesty. 

You didn't say anything, teeth digging painfully into your tongue so you would keep quiet. You had just now noticed you'd been staring at the wooden floorboards this whole time, and yet you didn't stop.

Levi noticed that you weren't going to contribute, so he did it himself.

"What are you afraid of? Do you think I'm going to be mad at you?" 

You could've kicked yourself when your panicked chuckle wormed its way into the one-sided conversation. 

"Look at me," he demanded. You didn't listen, a thick gulp being your only reaction. "Cadet, look at me." This time it came out as a snarl, and you obeyed out of pure fear. 

Levi shut his eyes for just a moment, a heavy sigh leaving him as he tried to compose himself again. You both knew that he wasn't great with feelings, but he was trying. 

"I'm not mad at you. You can tell me whatever you're going through and I'll listen. Don't ever be afraid to let someone know how you feel, that is the only way someone can understand you." You had to clench your jaw to keep a snarky remark from making the situation worse. "Stop hiding from people, stop holding on to these emotions, and thinking that by some miracle things are going to work out by keeping silent. Things don't ever work out that way, and it only prolongs the pain. It only gives time for shit to get worse. So, stop being an idiot and just tell me what's going on already." 

"You sound like you're speaking from experience," you muttered after letting his words sink in. 

You didn't get a response, so you let your gaze lower, but not drop completely. Levi waited for you. The Levi Ackerman patiently waited for you to let go of some agony. So you did.

"Sometimes," it was difficult for you to refill your lungs with fresh air, "I get these recurring dreams that make me think about the things I'd kill to forget." A fly could be heard over your quiet voice, but you had spoken, and Levi found it a big step forward.

"I see," he spoke more to himself than anything. "So that's why…" 

His words trailed off as he remembered walking past the cadet sleeping quarters in the ungodly hours of the morning and often hearing whimpers of fear and sleepy pleads for directions on what to do. His eyebrows furrowed slightly.

"You've been having those, too, haven't you?" He paused, knowing damn well that the night terrors weren't anything but a small piece to the puzzle. But it was progress. "It's not uncommon. Everyone gets those nightmares."

You resisted the urge to insist that's the reason why your problems weren't such a big deal.

"Having thoughts about the people that you've lost, the people that you'd cared about," Levi tightened his jaw, taking a deep breath through his nose and not saying anything for a heartbeat. He changed his wording, "You're allowed to feel. You're allowed to grieve and to be angry, to be hurt." It was like he was reading from the list of your emotional insecurities.

It was starting to get painfully tense, so you attempted to redirect the topic of choice.

"That's funny, considering who's speaking. You only seem slightly agitated whenever you hear about the trouble Eren is constantly causing. I'm surprised you don't have grey's, old man," you laughed in spite of yourself, the noise tense and borderline frantic.

"Writing these thoughts in this book," of course he wouldn't budge. The man's like a stone wall, despite his height. "It's probably your way of coping with what’s happened to you." 

You swallowed, glancing away before sucking on your tongue to distract yourself.

"But, you have to be able to talk to someone as well, to be able to hear your problems leave you." Levi didn't say anything after that, quietly observing how you tilted your head up to stop your brimming tears from falling.

He surprised you by taking a seat on the table's bench, a good four or five feet from your journal. "Come here," he said gently, patting his legs, "You look like you need to be held. If you feel comfortable, that is." 

"On your lap?" You asked, chest tightening. You knew all it was going to take was one hug- just one god damned hug- and you'd crumble.

"Yes, on my lap. Come on," Levi couldn't care less about your height or weight, none of it bothering him in the slightest. 

You hesitated, the exit door seeming all too tempting. You didn't leave, though, and it wasn't because Levi would catch you if you were to run, nor that he would only confront you more forcefully in the future. You knew you needed this- that's the whole reason you had left your secrets behind. But, fuck, it was so hard to make yourself sit on his lap.

"There we go." His encouragement nearly ripped you to shreds.

"What are you? Santa Claus?" You mused, eyes burning holes into your lap with how determined you were to look anywhere but. 

"Go on, let it out," Levi pushed you to speak again, this time far more effective.

"Let what out exactly? My Christmas list?" Your voice cracked, heart painfully throbbing.

"Come on, cadet," Levi breathed again, sickeningly gentle eyes looking at you.

"I wish for a cup of hot chocolate with cookies on the side," you forced a twisted smile on your face as burning hot tears started to slip down your cheek. "Maybe at least one good night's rest. O-Or a chance to go back in time." 

You were breaking down, caving in on yourself as you choked on a sob.

"I've got you."

But you weren't alone. The captain was rubbing comforting shapes into your back.

You shook violently, tremors growing worse before you gave in completely. Harsh sobs thrashed your body as you buried your face into Levi's chest, letting every bit of your pain out.

"It's alright," Levi's voice warded off the ringing in your ears. "It's going to be okay. Do you hear me? You're going to be okay."

Promises of betterment and words of comfort soothed you as you soaked his uniform with tears. Tears that you've held in for far too long, tears that represented your suffering.

"You did all you could. Stop blaming yourself for whatever happened or you'll never be able to move forward. If all you keep doing is holding onto the past, you'll stay stuck in this shitty, painful cycle," Levi told you exactly what you needed to hear as he alternated between pats and rubs on your back. 

He took a deep breath, and you heard his heart rate kick up as your crying quieted, though you didn't- couldn't- stop.

"I had two friends who died on the same damn day. People I considered my family- gone, just like that. People I'd just met, people I had just been acquainted with that morning, died later that day, too," he shared his pain, opening castrated wounds all for you. "Sons, daughters, sisters, brothers, fathers, mothers," he listed, voice wavering before he righted himself, holding you closer. "Dead. Gone. And who was in charge? I was." You felt his chest steeply rise and fall as you sniffled. 

"There are things that you'll have to live with, situations you'll be placed in that you'll have to get through." His thumb and index finger captured your chin, forcing you to look at him. "I just want you to remember that you don't have to find a way on your own. You don't have to feel like you need to take all the burden, all the pain, by yourself." 

The hand that was on your back navigated to the Scouts emblem on your jacket, gently thumbing at it. 

"That's why you have us," there was a smile dancing in his voice, though it never quite reached his face. "We can support each other." 

Your tears had calmed down to a few rogue leftovers, and you found yourself ready to slip off of his lap. Levi didn't seem to mind the massive wet stain that bled through his white button-up and onto his peck. Didn't seem to on the outside, but you knew he was a cleaning fanatic.

"My office, my doors, are always open," his tone turned sarcastically bitter, "Unless I have paperwork to fill in, or I'm cleaning up Jaeger's damn mess." He relished the small giggle that left your lips. "If neither of the two are happening, you can always come to me."

He narrowed his eyes at you, lightly flicking your forehead.

"You hear me? Always, cadet." He gently smiled at you. "Not only are my doors open, but my arms are open, too." 

You glanced away to hide the sparkle in your eyes. Your attention returned to the captain, however, when a warm hand found itself on your shoulder.

"I know that feeling of thinking everything is your fault," he swallowed, casting his gaze down before looking back at you. "That feeling of being disappointed in yourself, down in the gutter, beating yourself up and wishing that it was you instead." There was a solemn look in his eyes before he spoke again, "I know that feeling, and I know how it eats you alive." 

Levi pulled you in for another hug, resting his chin on your shoulder as he shuddered in another breath. 

"I also know the feeling of being comforted. Of being reminded that there is a tomorrow, and that things can get better." He gave you a small squeeze before pulling away, both hands on your shoulders now. "That if you make it past today, you can make it past tomorrow, too." 

He allowed you to sit back, and the words he spoke were more than welcomed.

"After everything that you've been through, there is no storm that comes your way that you're not strong enough to face," the proud gleam in his eyes spoke volumes. "And, if you feel like you can't handle it alone, you can face it with me by your side. I'll always be here to brace the storm with you."

Nothing could prepare you for what he said next.

"That is a promise, cadet."

Levi never made promises- not like this. The only thing he's ever promised was to dropkick Eren if he ever went so long without showering again.

"Now breathe," his voice reverted back to that gentle, but commanding tone. He took a deep breath with you, in and out before staring you dead in the eyes. "Everything is going to be okay. It might not be perfect, but we will make it through this. Every battle has an end. Don't go giving up until you find your ending." You felt the grip on your shoulder tighten, his Adam's apple bobbing as he continued, "Please... Hold on for me." 

That left you picking your jaw off the floor before Levi mentioned it, not able to do anything but nod. You, a cadet, had gotten him to say please.

"There is so much to live for in this life," he noticed your doubt before you even said a word. "Let's start living for the people who don't get to, who don't have a choice."

A comforting silence settled into the atmosphere. Levi smiled before standing, mentally double-checking if you were okay. "Oh, and one more thing?" You perked up when he spoke.

"I'll break your fucking legs if you talk about me being soft, cadet."

Ah. There was the Levi you knew.

"Wouldn't dream of it, captain," you said gently, proudly saluting him as he walked towards the back exit.

You would never know, but an extremely proud smile graced his features as he watched you hesitate before throwing the journal away.

My version of a gender bent Eruri ig- You can make a character of your own here:

https://picrew.me/image_maker/114808

Also I swear I'm almost done with a story 😃

It is currently four in the morning and I have finally finished the Attack On Titan manga. I am distraught.

Typically

This makes many references to No Regrets (an insight on Levi before he enrolled in the Scouts.) I also tried a new writing style, so please, give me feedback!

includes: Erwin, Levi

warnings: alcoholic themes, depression, PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), mentions of suicidal thoughts/actions

length: 2,028 words

•°•°•°•

Erwin Smith was typically content in his mattress by 10:30, praying to whatever gods that may (or may not) be out there that his slumber would be blissful and refreshing. He typically knew of his subordinates' locations and their relative mental states this late into any given night. He typically had most of his paperwork signed and stacked into a neat, organized pile.

Though tonight, as trepidation rolled over him in slow, progressing waves, Erwin Smith was neither content nor situated in a well-put-together office. He did not know where the Captain was or when the elusive man would return. He did not know beforehand that multiple contracts would need the Captain's signature. Hell, Erwin did not know if Levi could even write in cursive. At the moment, he did not know a lot of things.

Erwin wasn't exactly enthusiastic about experiencing these feelings of troubling uncertainty.

The dense thud of staggering boots on the half-rotted wooden flooring impeded Erwin's vexing thoughts. Moving from his spot by the window that overlooked the training grounds, he hastily stalked towards his office door. Yet as his fingertips were mere inches from the handle, the door slammed open, catching the Commander off guard.

Erwin back-stepped as no one other than Levi himself lost his footing from kicking the door open. The door frame was the only thing that aided Levi's attempt at steadying his balance; Erwin was far too focused on darting his bewildered eyes over Levi's condition.

Was the blunt and foul-mouthed Levi Ackerman. . . Drunk?

No, that couldn't be right. The man despised everything about alcohol: the lasting effects, the heavy smell, the noxious health problems. Every time the Corps tried to get Levi to drink, he had remarked about booze being nothing more than poison marketed as a miracle tonic. But, what else could explain the unfocused eyes that were typically sharp and observant or the swaying small frame that was typically nimble and composed?

"Have you been drinking, Levi? You look terrible."

The vicious scowl Erwin received told him that the way he worded his concern was extremely misinterpreted.

"Oh, fuck you, jackass. Not everyone can look like a shining star, Smith." Levi's words were unnaturally slurred, further proving what Erwin refused to accept. "Get outta my way and let me in."

Erwin cautiously stepped to the side- as he'd rather keep this peculiar sight to himself and spare the Captain's dignity. Levi's shoulder shoved against Erwin's bicep as he stumbled into the Commander's office. A snarl remarking Erwin's height was woven into the tense atmosphere of the room.

"Where have you been?" Erwin asked as he gently shut the door, keeping an apprehensive gaze on Levi.

He simply received a distracted scoff. Erwin took a deep breath before he huffed out of his nose. He watched as Levi fumbled through various unlocked drawers in search of who-knows-what.

"Levi-"

"Where's your Devil's water, Smith?" Erwin narrowed his eyes in confusion before Levi, belligerently, elaborated. "Your liquor, dip-shit. Where have you stashed it?"

Erwin pressed his lips into a thin line before he offered a calculated answer, "I don't hide alcohol in my office." A spiteful string of obscenities left Levi's swollen lips, the drunk balling his fist tight by his sides. "Liar! You're a filthy deceiver, you know that? You're worth less than the shit in the stables! A sleaze bag from the Underground would be more helpful than you!"

Erwin paused, studying Levi like Hange would study a Titan. "Are you okay, Levi?" He knew the question was redundant the moment the words left his lips.

“Fuck!” Levi yelled, tugging on his already loose cravat. “Am I okay? What kind of bullshit question is that? Hell, my uncle used to tell me that life’s like a toilet paper roll; you’re either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole- and you know what? You’re that asshole, Smith!”

"Be careful of the open window, Levi," Erwin warned, as polished and unwavering as ever. His indifference to the slew of insults and profanities made Levi's blood boil.

Erwin only moved closer when the Captain disregarded his warning and continued to near the dangerously open casement. Erwin tuned out the vulgarities that were continuously hurled at him with an intense enmity, the gears clicking together in his head.

There was a chance Levi's destination was through the window- a chance Erwin was not willing to take.

"What are you doing? You're going to fall out," Erwin said more forcefully.

The change in the Commander's tone didn't seem to phase Levi, who was resting his forearms on the window sill. As Levi's weight shifted to his unstable upper body, Erwin could feel his heartbeat pounding in his throat, temples, fingertips- everywhere except his chest.

Levi went quiet, his drunken tantrum utterly forgotten as childlike wonder filled his eyes. In the moment of calm after the storm, Erwin couldn't fail to notice that Levi looked so much younger when he wasn't so pent up. The Captain was significantly more demonstrative when he was intoxicated; and may it be good or bad, Erwin was content with Levi seeming mortal.

"He used to hate heights, and she smoked him for it," Levi broke the moment of silence with hardly a whisper. "It was all a game to her."

Erwin's features, which were glazed over with faux insouciant, didn't match the curious gaze he studied Levi with. He stood inert, fearful of scaring Levi into a diligent silence or another aggressive episode. Erwin didn't ask for extensive details, nor did he implore Levi to move away from the window again. He simply waited, having an idea of what was plaguing his inebriated soldier's mind.

"You know, when you found me, we were heading to get a job done," Levi spoke so softly that Erwin felt the need to hold his breath to hear him properly.

The Commander took Levi's brief pause as an opening to speak, despite having nothing to say. "Is that so?"

Levi exhaled something grim; something that nearly sounded like an empty chuckle. "Yeah, Smith, it is."

Levi ignored how Erwin wearily moved closer as he adjusted himself further out of the window. The Captain relished in a twisted feeling of pride knowing that he could make his superior jump to aid him, that he could make the man twitch with such a deep sense of uneasiness- so much so that it shone in his perceptive blue eyes.

"Levi, get away from-"

"He was so nervous for the mission, despite it being so. . . " Levi swayed his hand through the night air, searching for the right word after cutting Erwin, and his concerns, off. "So pointless," is what he settled for.

"It was just a run-through," he huffed out a sigh, "check the brothel for any kids, start trouble if there were. Then, haul ass to the surface to get the brats to somewhere safer. Simple, right?"

Erwin swallowed, his gaze settling on Levi's reflection in the mirror.

"But, something always has to fuck me over," Levi spat with a clenched jaw, capturing the window sill in an iron grip. "Isn't that right?! You simply adore dancing all of your puppets around until they can't take it anymore- but you don't stop, do you?!" Levi screamed at the full moon in the sky.

Erwin sharply exhaled through his nose, Levi swaying side to side like empty ODM gear in the breeze. Levi swore and stretched his fingers out to relieve the tension in them.

"I bumped into a guy whose ego was as big as his body. The bastard was huge and wouldn't let it go." Levi hung his head, the stars bringing back memories he'd rather forget. "I think you were there when we had settled the issue and took off."

Erwin remembers like it happened yesterday. He could never forget the first time he saw Levi fly on the Wings of Revolution; it was enchanting.

Levi outstretched his arm, one foot leaving the floor as he reached to the giant moon glowing against the night sky.

"Levi, you need to stop being heedless, or you'll fall and end up dead!" Erwin finally snapped, his hand darting to grab Levi's. He missed his target, the shorter one moving unexpectedly and making Erwin snatch his pale forearm.

The wind from the chill night ruffled the forgotten paperwork on Erwin's desk, Levi's eerily hollow chuckle overlaying the white noise. Empty steel-gray finally looked into Erwin's ocean blues, heavy-lidded and worn thin.

"Don't you know I'm stupid? The hell does 'heedless' mean, blondie?" Levi wore a painful grin.

Erwin furrowed his brow in worry, loosening his grip but not letting go. "Careless," he said gently, thumbing fondly at Levi's flushed skin. "It means. . . Careless."

Levi's bottom lip trembled, and Erwin swore he saw his small body twitch with a hiccup. "Maybe that's what I want, Commander- to end up dead," Levi breathed, sending a cold surge through Erwin.

"Hey, don't say that," Erwin said quickly in a hushed tone. His free hand gently cupped Levi's shoulder.

"Why not?" Levi's voice was so small. It scared Erwin. "Every time I shut my eyes at night, all I see is their faces, hear them call my name." Erwin could feel Levi trembling.

"I know, Levi. By the walls, I know how it feels to begin to go numb. How it is to lose everything close to you, and still need to press onwards," Erwin murmured.

"Oh, sure. You see the face of every comrade that you've sent to death in your dreams. I'm sure you remember each and every soldier." The sarcastic bite in Levi's tone made Erwin unhand the man's arm.

"Excuse me. . ?" Erwin breathed, stupidly hoping he had misheard Levi.

"You don't know how it feels to be looked at like a human shit stain for simply trying to survive! You're just Mr. Fucking Perfect, right?" Levi's fruitless attempt to push Erwin away by his chest only agitated the blonde.

"Another pompous asshole that wouldn't hesitate to judge me from getting on all fours back then just to be able to eat twice a week!" Levi's (false) accusations were making Erwin increasingly angry.

"You're no different than everyone in the Capital-"

"You'd better watch your mouth, Ackerman."

Levi sucked in a short breath so quickly, it made his throat dry up; though, that might've been caused by the snarl of his surname. He didn't get another chance to speak as Erwin loomed over his frame.

"Who gave you an escape route when you had nowhere else to turn? Was it the Capital? Who was it that believed in you when everyone else wanted you to hang? The Capital, perhaps? Apologies, my memory is hazy."

Levi had seen Erwin agitated, seen him berate cadets and superiors alike with no backlash. But the man was always so poised and assured. Sure, the unsettlingly strong fire behind his crystal eyes was never smothered, but it was not once openly expressed.

Until now.

It had Levi- the nephew of Kenny the Ripper, the Captain of the 104th Cadet Corp, Humanity's Strongest Soldier- intimidated enough to shrink in on himself.

"I don't mean to scare you, Levi. I truly don't. But when you have the audacity to lump me into the crowd of discriminatory pedophiles and rapists? After everything I have done for you?" Erwin scoffed, ending his rant.

"I-I... I'm-"

"I don't want you to apologize. It's difficult to believe that you would. It's just not like you," Erwin swallowed thickly as Levi sniffled.

"Levi, I-" Erwin cut himself off, clenching his jaw.

Want you. Need you.

I think I'm in love with you. What a dream it would be to say. But he shouldn't. And he won't.

"You should sober up here while I get work done. How does that sound?" Erwin felt the urge to vomit after those words burned off his tongue.

"Thank you," Levi hardly whispered. "Thank you, Erwin."

Closing his eyes tightly, Erwin nodded, leading Levi to the couch the was sitting against the sidewall.

"Of course, Levi. I would do anything for you."

A very happy and well-deserved birthday to Marco (Freckled Jesus) Bolt

fluff prompt list

"Quit stealing all the pillows!"

"You want a bite?"

"Give me a second and I'll show you."

"What should we name it?"

"You're a dork."

"Why are your feet so cold?"

"Stop that, I'm ticklish!"

"Your hands are so warm!"

"You smell really nice."

"Your hair is so soft."

"You're my new pillow."

"Turn around, I'm giving you a massage."

"I think I love you."

"Can I kiss you?"

"Hold my hand."

"It's not morning yet."

"Stay a little longer?"

"You're so perfect."

"I'll always be here for you."

"You were right all along."

"Take my coat, it's cold out here."

"You've got some flour on your cheek."

"You could just put your feet in my lap, you know."

"I wouldn't change a thing about you."

"Shut up and kiss me."

"We could try cuddling."

"Stop being so cute."

"Are you okay?"

"Our relationship is the most important thing in my life."

"You can sleep, I'll keep you safe."

"Don't worry, I'll take care of everything."

"It wasn't your fault."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Oh! You're jealous!"

"Can we stay like this forever?"

"I missed you so much."

"Give me attention."

"When I'm with you, I'm home."

"Is that my shirt?"

"This is new."

"Would you just hold still?"

"You're family."

"They didn't deserve you."

"Rumor has it, I make you nervous."

"Are you flirting with me?"

"You seem all tough, but I know it's all an act. You're a softie."

"Funny, coming from you."

"Really? Right now?"

"Let's go somewhere- anywhere!" Heavily inspired by @merakiaes so go look at their page- they're amazing!

angst prompt list

"Would you just look at me?"

"I'm not ready to say goodbye."

"I want to hate you, but I can't."

"I wanted to believe you thought about me."

"You don't mean that... Right?"

"I pushed you away because you deserved better."

"Karma's a bitch, isn't she?"

"I'm sick of missing you when you're right here."

"How can you just stand there and pretend this isn't your fault?"

"Tell me I'm wrong. Please, say it."

"You're hurting me."

"Don't you see that I'm trying?"

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

"Don't call me again."

"Pack your stuff and leave."

"Why weren't you there?"

"You're scaring me."

"Where did all these bruises come from?"

"How much of that did you hear?"

"What keeps you up at night?"

"But you promised."

"I don't want your apology."

"You can't leave me- not now."

"You'd better put that down."

"You have to believe me!"

"You mean everything to me."

"You meant nothing to me."

"It wasn't supposed to end like this."

"Admit that you're wrong!"

"Do you ever stop talking?"

"What are you doing?"

"I couldn't save them."

"Why did you even bother?"

"Don't you care?"

"You aren't worth it."

"Are you really that stupid?"

"I thought I could trust you."

"Just stay with me."

"Who are you again?"

"I miss you."

"Are you listening?"

"You're not safe here."

"I didn't think it would hurt this bad."

"You said we'd grow old together."

"It's suffocating, isn't it?"

"It's... cold."

"Is it lonely?"

"I'm scared of losing you."

"Don't touch me."

"You've changed."

Three (Not So) Little Words

includes: erwin, y/n

warnings: the phat L-word, mentions of death

length: 1,190 words

summary: Sometimes those three little words aren't so little.

A/N: I don't know how this idea got in my head. Literally, all a stranger did was hold a door open for me and say, "After you" with a smile. Anyways- tagging @sunshinedragonofthewest If you'd also like to be tagged, just let me know.

In your Cadet years, his affection was the least subtle.

When you could never properly adjust the leather belts of your uniform, he'd always give you a look before chuckling under his breath.

"Come here, let me fix it for you," he'd say. Erwin would always, always, wait for you to nod until he touched the leather straps. Stubbornly, you would always avoid looking at him while he helped you.

During a class, when you'd forgotten your mathematics book, he didn't hesitate to set his on your desk. You, wanting to thrive independently, placed it back on his almost instantly. Erwin playfully glared at you before giving it back. He caught your wrist gently when you tried to place it on his desk again.

"Just borrow mine. We both know you need it more than I do," he'd whispered in a teasing tone. The book remained in your hands after that.

After a couple of years and a countless amount of 'this reminded me of you's from Erwin, you both were off on your first expedition out of the walls.

The fond gestures stopped when he came back with blood splattered on his skin and clothes. It didn't belong to him, and it didn't belong to a titan.

Erwin was promoted to Squad Leader soon after, his passion and dedication to the cause allowing him to soar through the ranks. Soar higher and higher- and right into your heart.

The next time he gave you a taste of his old adoration was in the middle of a chilling winter. Your sleeping quarters hardly had any insulation, and the low-budget blankets on stiff mattresses could only do so much. Most people slept in the same bed for warmth. You refused to do such a thing with any of those soldiers.

The floorboards creaked from the cold and from your weight as you made your way to Erwin's quarters. You were going to file a complaint- there was no way he expected anyone to sleep in those conditions.

An upset knock later, he opened the door, and you completely forgot why you'd gone there in the first place when you saw him.

Erwin had circles darker than the night sky under his eyes as he blinked at you, seeming to just be waking up. Before you could apologize, he spoke gently.

"It's cold, isn't it?"

Dumbly, you nodded, and he gave a worn smile. He let you inside, let you get comfortable in his bed. As it turns out, the Squad Leader's blanket is made from the same material as yours.

Erwin didn't join you. Instead, he tried to get comfortable in the small chair that sat behind his desk.

"You aren't actually sleeping there... Right?"

"Don't worry about me." The hum he gave you warm your bones faster than anything in the world could, but his words upset you.

"But I am worried about you."

Erwin blinked as you sat up in his bed, and watched as you shuffled to the edge.

You gave him all the room he would ever need, and he still shifted close. Erwin quietly asked if he could hold you. You didn't answer at first. Yet the moment you felt him try to move far away, your arms grabbed onto his bicep.

"Yeah... 'Course you can," you'd whispered, the words burning your tongue as they left. Erwin's pools of blue nearly drowned you before he closed his eyes.

"Thank you."

The first time Erwin actually said the L-word, it scared you.

Now the Commander, Erwin Smith's heart was hardened after years and years of horrifying battles. Or so it seemed.

He'd nearly lost you outside of the walls, lost you to the titans. You risked your life to save someone- Erwin couldn't see who- from the 15 meter that charged from the side. Erwin yelled orders, you cried out, and they didn't make it.

You were beyond angry. Outraged at what he had ordered you to do on the battlefield. How were you supposed to leave them? You could've saved them! You should've saved them.

Now you were standing in his office after refusing to sit down. He didn't like your arms being crossed over your chest, but he hated the look on your face more. Erwin didn't want you to be angry at him, but he didn't have a choice.

"Listen-" he started, but you'd cut him off.

"Like how I did when you allowed my comrade to die?" you'd snapped. Erwin clenched his jaw.

"Our comrade," he corrected, placing his hands on his desk.

"I could've helped them," you growled.

"You put yourself in danger-"

"We all do! All of the Scouts know what they signed up for so why didn't you let me do that?" You were raising your voice at him, too angry to notice that he didn't reprimand you for it.

"Because I-"

"What? Because you thought they were nothing more than a pawn in your games? Because-" Erwin slammed his hands on his desk, the loud bang! shutting you up.

"Because I love you!" He yelled, his eyes set aflame. "I can lose one of my soldiers, I can lose myself, but I can't lose you!"

The silence that followed was deafening.

The anger you felt before was nothing compared to the emotions that overwhelmed you now.

Erwin sunk into his seat, holding his head in his hands. "I know... I know you signed up for the Scouts, and not for my possessiveness. And I know that it isn't fair to hold you back. It isn't fair to feel this way but I... I j-just-"

Your hand softly stroking his made the man crumble into a state of vulnerability.

After that day, Erwin said the L-word to you as often as he could.

He said it in a gravelly voice early in the morning. His hand brushed the hair from your face before giving you a gentle kiss.

He said it as an apology quite often when he worked too late. He would feel like melting every time you accepted it with open arms.

He said it as a greeting when you stepped into his office. The blush that spread like wildfire over your face made him chuckle.

He said it as a thank you when you gave him a massage after a long day. You then found out that he has ticklish collarbones.

He said it over your shoulder when you'd looked in the mirror for a little too long. His lips caressed your cheek while he spent the next hour listing everything he cherished about you.

Now, he said it in a letter. A letter so elegantly written with obsidian ink etched onto crisp white paper. He said it in the most Erwin way possible. He said it after forbidding you to go on the same expedition as him.

After the letter, he could never say it again. After the expedition, he could never be again.

For the first time, you said those three words. You screamed it and you cried and you begged, hoping that he could hear you. Hear you, and say I love you back.

He didn't want this. This wasn't supposed to be possible. Why him out of anyone? Why was he born into this cruel world?

Alexander Birken just wants to live his life.

Even if it means getting his hands dirty.

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