Heartrender - Tumblr Posts

“.. To go up against the Darkling and his Grisha? Everyone knew it was suicide. The crew ended up drawing straws to see who got stuck with the honor.” 

“And you and your brother are just unlucky?” 

“Us?” Tamar paused in the doorway. Her hair was damp, and the lamplight glinted off her Heartrender’s grin. “We didn’t draw anything,” she said as she stepped through the door. “We volunteered”. 

-Tamar and Alina, Siege and Storm Ch5

are those … the amplifiers? I need to stop watching this on repeat

“Tamar grinned, her white teeth flashing against her bronze skin. She tapped the gleaming shark’s tooth hanging around her neck”

-Siege and Storm Ch.5

“You have a Tailor,” [Alina] said. Sturmhond winced. 

“I am not a Tailor,” Tolya said angrily. 

“No, Tolya, your gifts lie elsewhere,” Sturmhond said soothingly. “Mostly in the celebrated fields of killing and maiming.”

-Siege and Storm Ch.8

Kaz: Can you be serious for five minutes? 

Nina: My record is four, but I think I can do it.

Baby Kaz Brekker: Tired of just deserving better. Gonna start taking it by force.

Kaz: Don’t worry, I have a permit. 

Van Eck: ...This just says “I can do what I want”.

Nina: Matthias told me to stop being immature, so I told him to get out of my fort.

Matthias: Nina, is that legal? 

Kaz: When there are no cops around, anything's legal.

Kaz Brekker x Heartrender! Reader!

Warnings: none

___________

You didn't notice it at first.

Working for the Crows, it was easy to miss the little things when relaxing or not on the job. It was no secret that Kaz Brekker, the Bastard of the Barrel, was closer to you than he was with anyone else.

At first it just started with annoying him by never leaving his office when he was in it. You claimed that it was the quietest place in the Crow Club, and reluctantly and slowly, he got used to your presence. You were usually reading or just staring off, thinking anything to make the time pass by.

Kaz admitted you were an annoying presence at first, but learned it was because you didn't like being alone. You thought it only made it easier to let people slip away, and he understood that. What he didn't want to admit was that the months tolerating your presence turned into a normal thing, just you and him after hours in content silence. Then, he expected you to be there, and it brought a small tug to his lips each time you greeted him with a bright smile and a small wave. If you weren't there, he felt saddened but never dared to ask you why.

That's when Kaz Brekker realized he was falling in love with you.

You had feelings for him for a few months, which is why you had started making it a point to be around him. Your heart almost broke when he fell infront of you once, reminding you that he's mortal and you're Grisha. You made it a promise to yourself that you'd protect him, even if your love was useless.

Due to the time passing, or him not returning your feelings.

One night, you were simply reading through a book of poems, and flickered your gaze to Kaz.

He looked tired, but you admired how his hair fell perfectly around his face and his jaw structure. How could a human be so beautiful? You thought to yourself before noticing a heartbeat quicken.

And it wasn't yours.

Your gaze sharpened on him as you listened closer to his heartbeat, slowly speeding up as he straightened himself on his chair and that's when you caught it.

His eyes.

He glanced at you, and he was caught in your trance. He couldn't help but stare, and a blush along with a sly smile made its way to your rosy lips. He awkwardly coughed and looked away.

"What?" He asked, nervous now that he was aware that you could hear his urgent heart.

"I love you."

His eyes widened, and he felt like his heart skipped a beat. He wasn't sure what to say or do. He couldn't say it back because he wasn't sure he loved you yet, only that he had a passion and affection towards you.

He wanted you.

But his fears drove him back.

"I heard your heart. I know you like me - that you feel something for me, but you don't have to give me an answer now. I'll wait for you."

God, he wanted to cry.

Wait for him? You've just said you loved the Bastard of the Barrel, and that you don't need an immediate answer from him. That you were content waiting for someone like him.

"No woman should ever wait for a man," He sounded like he was lecturing you, even without looking at you.

You simply chuckled.

"But waiting for Kaz Brekker himself will be worth it. I even await the day I get to kiss you."

He felt all the heat rush towards his face at your bold statement. You had imagined kissing him? HIM?! And you said it would be you to kiss him, not the other way around. He couldn't believe it, and suddenly poked his tongue out to lick his possibly chapped lips.

"You're my Heartrender and mine alone. So know that I always have you in my heart," That was the most you'd get out of him, and he felt a tingle within him as he expressed the best way he could his own feelings.

And that alone was more than enough for you.

.

.

.

little theory

ok so if the brain controls who you like/love and the brain is an organ. And heartrenders control organs, then could a really skilled heartrender control who someone likes/loves?

just a random thought. Someone give me feedback

Shadow and Bones side done, Six of Crows next.

What should I do on the back?

Friendly reminder that Jesper was definitely using his grisha abilities in season 1 of Shadow and Bone.

When he was shooting the volcra in the fold, the last shot he fired was emphasized by the camera angle zooming in on his gun (specifically the bullet being fired) and his eyes were closed. He made the shot perfectly.

He must have also used his abilities when facing off against Ivan. Ivan is a heartrender with an amplifier, which makes him very dangerous if he has you in his line of sight. To keep Ivan on defense, Jesper had to stay hidden and out of his sights. 

Jesper fires three shots at Ivan and all of them hit in the same exact place on his kefta. How did Jesper manage to aim so precisely three times in a row when he shot through several bed sheets and aimed at points on the wall/metal objects so the bullets would ricochet, all without a clear line of sight on Ivan? He couldn’t have. He probably used his abilities to guide the bullets toward the kefta that Ivan specifically told him was Fabrikator-made to be bullet resistant, so it probably had some kind of kevlar-like material woven into it that Jesper could have sensed and guided the bullets to. 

Jesper does something similar in Crooked Kingdom when he sends the rubber bullet at Kuwei without a good line of sight, so it’s not an unreasonable assumption that he did it to Ivan too.

When Jesper has Ivan pinned to the ground, Ivan asked “What are you?” and Jesper deflected his question. Then, Ivan said “You’re a--” but before he could finish, Jesper knocked him out and said “You should have stopped while you were ahead.”

Of course, this implies that Jesper knows that he’s using his abilities to gain the advantage when shooting, whereas he didn’t think about it in the books until Wylan pointed it out to him. But, because Shadow and Bone is an adaptation of the books, they have some creative freedom to change things around a bit (such as the timeline, character descriptions, dialogue and events, etc. that we’ve already seen changed). 

Overall, I’m pretty happy with how the show is adapting the books. The Shadow and Bone storyline is almost identical to the book (with the exception of the ending and the Crows’ involvement, of course) as well as Nina and Matthias’ backstory. I’m really excited to see how they incorporate the events of Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom (and Wylan) into the show!

Nina should’ve shattered Jarl Brum’s ankle or something that left permanent physical damage. JUST tearing out his scalp was MERCIFUL.

Stay With Me

masterlist

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 2027

Summary: Zoya takes care of a sick Nikolai, who happens to be down with the flu.

---

The fierce winter winds howled outside, as Nikolai Lantsov lay in his bed, pale and feverish. The once vibrant and indomitable king now appeared frail, his skin flushed and clammy, his breath coming in labored gasps. The room was cold, despite the roaring fire in the hearth, the chill seeping through the stone walls and biting at Zoya's skin.

Zoya stood by his side, her expression a mask of composure that hid the turmoil within. She had seen him wounded before, seen him on the brink of death more times than she cared to count, but this was different. This was an enemy she couldn’t fight, an illness that didn’t respond to her powers or to any remedy they could find.

"Nik," she murmured, her voice barely audible over the wind. "You need to rest."

Nikolai’s eyes fluttered open, and he managed a weak smile. "Rest is for the dead, my dear," he replied, his voice hoarse. "And I am not quite there yet."

Zoya’s heart clenched at his words. "Don’t say that," she said sharply, her fingers tightening around the edge of the blanket. "You’re going to get better."

He reached out a trembling hand, covering hers with a touch that was both comforting and heartbreaking. "Zoya," he said softly, "we both know that’s not true. The healers have done all they can, and even you…" He trailed off, the unspoken words hanging heavy in the air.

Zoya looked away, unable to meet his gaze. She had tried everything, pouring all her power into him, but nothing worked. The flu was relentless, a silent killer that showed no mercy.

"I can't lose you," she whispered, her voice breaking.

Nikolai squeezed her hand gently. "You are stronger than you know," he said. "And Ravka needs you. You’ve always been the strength behind the throne, Zoya. You can lead them without me."

"I don’t want to lead without you. You are the heart of Ravka."

He smiled then; a ghost of his usual grin. "Then you’ll have to be its heart and soul."

Tears welled up in her eyes, but she blinked them back. She had to be strong for him, for Ravka, for herself. "I don’t know how to do this without you," she admitted.

"You’ll find a way," he assured her. "You always do."

Hours passed, the night dragging on in a haze of fever and whispered conversations. Nikolai spoke of plans and contingencies, of allies and enemies, trying to prepare her for a future without him.

It was the hardest thing he’d ever done, but he knew it was necessary. He had to make sure she would be alright, even if he wasn’t there to see it.

"You know, when I’m gone, you should really redecorate this room. Maybe something less gloomy. Brighten it up a bit."

Zoya rolled her eyes, despite the ache in her chest. "Stop talking like that," she said, her voice hard. "You’re not going anywhere."

"Always the optimist," he chuckled weakly. "But seriously, Zoya. Promise me you’ll take care of things. Of yourself. Of Ravka."

"I promise," she said, her voice trembling. "But I’m not giving up on you. You’re too stubborn to die from something as mundane as the flu."

"I do like to make a grand exit," he admitted with a tired smile. "But just in case, you should know… I trust you. More than anyone. You’ll make a fantastic queen."

Zoya’s breath caught in her throat. "Don’t you dare," she whispered fiercely. "Don’t you dare leave me."

His eyes softened, and he reached up to touch her cheek. "I wish I didn’t have to," he said. "But you’ll be alright. You’re the strongest person I know."

She leaned into his touch, closing her eyes against the flood of emotions. "You’re not allowed to die, Nikolai Lantsov," she said, her voice breaking. "I forbid it."

He tried to laugh, but it quickly turned into a fit of coughing that left him gasping for breath. "Is that an order, my Queen?" he managed to choke out between coughs.

"Yes," she replied, her voice trembling as she handed him a cloth to wipe his mouth. "An order from your queen."

His smile faded, replaced by a look of profound sadness. "I wish I could obey," he said softly. "But some things are beyond even a privateer’s control."

The night dragged on, and Nikolai grew weaker, his breathing more labored. Zoya stayed by his side, refusing to leave him even for a moment. She held his hand, whispered reassurances, and tried to keep the fear at bay.

Nikolai's coughs continued to grow frequent through the night, each one more violent than the last. The sound echoed through the room, a harsh reminder of the relentless grip of his illness. Zoya clung to his hand, trying to pour her strength into him, but she could feel him slipping away.

The room seemed to close in around them, the walls a silent witness to their anguish.

"Stay with me," she whispered, her voice trembling with desperation. "Just a little longer."

Nikolai's eyes flickered open, and he managed a faint smile. "I'm trying," he coughed, his voice barely above a whisper. "But it's hard, Zoya. So hard."

She brushed a damp lock of hair from his forehead, her touch tender despite the turmoil inside her. "You have to keep fighting," she said, her voice fierce. "For me. For Ravka."

He closed his eyes, a pained expression crossing his face. "I'm so tired," he admitted. "I don't know if I can."

Zoya's heart clenched at his words. She had never seen him like this, so vulnerable, so close to giving up. She had to be strong for him, had to keep him grounded in the world of the living.

Tears welled up in her eyes, but she blinked them back. She had to be strong for him, had to show him that she could carry on. "I can't lose you," she whispered, her voice breaking. "Not now. Not ever."

His eyes fluttered open, and he looked at her with a mixture of love and sadness. "You won't lose me," he said softly. "I'll always be with you. In your heart."

The minutes stretched into an eternity, the night closing in around them. Each cough wracked Nikolai's body, leaving him weaker, his breaths more labored. Zoya's heart ached with every labored inhale, every painful exhale.

"Do you remember," she said softly, trying to distract him from the pain, "the night we first met?

Nikolai's lips twitched in a faint smile. "I remember," he said, his voice barely audible. "You saw right through me."

"And you never gave up," she continued, her voice thick with emotion. "You fought for Ravka, for all of us."

His eyes opened, and for a moment, there was clarity in his gaze. "Promise me you'll keep fighting, even when I'm gone."

A sob caught in her throat, but she forced it down. She had to be strong for him, had to keep him grounded in the world of the living.

"I promise," she said, her voice breaking. "But you're not gone yet, Nikolai. Stay with me. Please."

"Zoya, I. .. I love you."

The words broke something inside her, and she felt tears spill down her cheeks. "I love you too." She leaned over him, pressing a gentle kiss to his burning forehead. "So much. Please, don't leave me."

He gripped her strong hands with his pale and trembling fingers and pressed her knuckles to his lips. "Be strong," he whispered, "for me."

And then, with a quiet exhale, Nikolai Lantsov, King of Ravka, grew still. His hand went limp in hers, and Zoya felt a profound emptiness settle in the room.

He was gone.

Gone.

For a moment, she couldn't breathe, couldn't think. She stared at his still form, unable to comprehend the reality of his death.

"No," she whispered, her voice breaking. "No, please. Come back. Please, Nikolai."

But there was no response, no sign of life. The man who had been her anchor, her strength, was gone, leaving her alone in a world that suddenly felt unbearably empty.

She clung to him, her tears falling onto his lifeless chest. "You promised," she sobbed. "You promised you wouldn't leave me."

She couldn't contain her grief any longer. She screamed.

She screamed, a guttural cry that echoed through the room and mingled with the howling wind outside. It was a raw, primal sound of loss and anguish, carried away by the winds that seemed to mourn with her.

Outside, the storm raged on.

Zoya's heart felt shattered, her entire being consumed by the void left in Nikolai's absence. She collapsed beside his bed, her sobs wracking her body.

Eventually, the healers came, their faces solemn as they gently took Nikolai's body away. Zoya stood frozen, her eyes fixed on Nikolai's still form, unable to fully grasp the finality of his absence.

She watched them go mechanically, her movements slow and deliberate, as though moving through thick fog. The world seemed to move around her, but Zoya felt suspended in a moment that refused to end.

It was Genya's gentle touch on her shoulder that finally broke through the haze. Zoya turned to her, tears streaming down her face.

"We need to go," Genya said softly, her voice breaking the silence that enveloped them.

Zoya nodded wordlessly, allowing Genya to guide her out of the room.

Each step felt heavy with the weight of the loss. As they walked away from Nikolai's bedside, Zoya couldn't shake the feeling that a part of her had been left behind with him.

Outside, the morning light filtered through the windows, casting a somber glow over the palace halls.

"Zoya, we need you. Ravka needs you."

Zoya took a deep breath, steeling herself against the pain. She had promised Nikolai she would be strong, that she would carry on. She couldn't let him down.

"I know," she said, her voice steady despite the tears still streaming down her face. "I'll be there."

Genya nodded silently. She knew this feeling.

"I remember when David..." Genya began softly, her voice carrying the weight of her own memories. "When he died, it felt like the world had stopped. Like I couldn't breathe without him."

Zoya looked at her, gratitude mingling with her grief. "How did you do it?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. "How did you cope with it?"

Genya sighed, her eyes reflecting the pain of her past loss. "At first, I didn't cope. I just existed, moving through the days because I had to. But then I realized... David wouldn't want me to just exist. He would want me to live, to find purpose again."

Zoya listened intently, drawing strength from Genya's words. "And did you?" she asked, her voice trembling.

Genya nodded, a small smile touching her lips despite the sadness in her eyes. "It took time, Zoya. Time and the support of friends like you. I found solace in helping others, in channeling my grief into something meaningful."

"You did everything you could," She murmured softly, brushing a strand of hair from Zoya's tear-streaked face. "He knew that. Nikolai knew."

"But it wasn't enough," Zoya whispered, her voice filled with anguish.

Zoya swallowed hard. "I want to honor Nikolai's memory," she admitted, her voice wavering. "But right now, I don't know how."

Genya reached out, squeezing Zoya's hand gently. "You will," she said with quiet conviction. "In your own time, in your own way. And until then, I'll be here for you, just like you were there for me."

They stood together in the alcove, the two women bound by grief and resilience.

As the morning light grew brighter outside, casting long shadows on the palace walls, Zoya felt a flicker of determination ignite within her.

She would carry on for Nikolai, for Ravka, and for herself, knowing that though his physical presence was gone, his legacy would endure in the strength of those who loved him. With Genya beside her, offering silent support and understanding, Zoya took a deep breath, ready to face the challenges ahead with newfound resolve and purpose.

Helnik || GHOSTS OF OUR PAST

Timeline: Just after Crooked Kingdom, right before King of Scars

Prologue

masterlist // chapter 1

---

The girl stood at the edge of the world, where the land met the sea and the past whispered secrets to the present. The wind carried the salty tang of the ocean, mingling with the chill of the approaching winter. She pulled her cloak tighter around her, seeking warmth against the cold that seemed to seep into her very bones. But no amount of warmth could thaw the icy grip of sorrow that held her heart.

The boy had been her enemy once, a hunter whose sole purpose was to capture and kill her kind. Yet fate had woven their paths together in the most unexpected of ways, turning hatred into love.

Now, he was gone, and the girl was left to pick up the shattered pieces of her life.

She had promised to take him home, back to the land of ice and snow that had shaped him into the man he had become.

"Wanden olstrum end kendesorum," she whispered to herself, her words carried away by the wind. "Isen ne bejstrum."

The water hears and understands. But the ice does not forgive.

Helnik || GHOSTS OF OUR PAST || Chapter 1

Timeline: Just after Crooked Kingdom, right before King of Scars

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 852

Note: totally not venging revenge for my wasted tears over the untold story of helnik-

• masterlist // prologue // next chapter (coming soon)

---

Nina Zenik stood in the dimly lit study of the Van Eck Mansion, her gaze fixed on the flickering flame of a solitary candle. The grandeur of the room was lost on her as she wrestled with memories that refused to fade. She clutched Matthias Helvar's worn leather jacket to her chest, feeling the weight of his absence like a physical ache.

Outside, the wind whispered through the trees, carrying with it the promise of a harsh Fjerdan winter. Nina shivered, not from the chill in the air but from the relentless sorrow that gripped her heart.

Matthias, the boy who brought her back from death, the boy he loved, was gone.

Gone.

"Nina," a voice called out, deep and steady. "What are you doing here, witch?" he demanded, though his tone lacked the venom it once had.

Nina's heart ached at the sight of him. "I'm not here to fight, Matthias. I'm here because I miss you."

Nina reached out, her fingers brushing against his arm. "I know. But I can't help it. I keep seeing you everywhere."

His gaze softened slightly. "I was your enemy once. Do you remember how we met?"

Nina nodded, her mind drifting back to that fateful encounter. She remembered the fear and adrenaline, the way they had circled each other like predators, each one waiting for the other to make a move.

"You were so determined to hate me," she said softly. "But we both changed, didn't we?"

He looked away, the hardness returning to his face. "We did. But some things can't be undone. My people, my duty... they were my life."

"And now?" she asked, her voice trembling.

"Now I'm gone," his words hitting her like a physical blow. "You need to let me go, Nina."

"You saved me, Matthias. More times than I can count. You brought me back from the brink," she said, tears streaming down her face. "But I couldn't save you."

Matthias reached out, his hand hovering over her cheek. "You did save me, Nina. You showed me a different way, a different path. Even if it was just for a moment."

Nina's heart clenched, the pain too much to bear. "I don't want to say goodbye."

"You have to," he whispered. "For both our sakes."

The snowstorm intensified, and Nina felt herself being pulled away, the image of Matthias fading into the blizzard. She tried to hold on, but the wind was too strong. The cold bit at her, and she heard her own gasping breath. She was falling.... falling .....

Nina's vision blurred, and she sank to the floor, Matthias' jacket slipping from her grasp.

"Nina?" Inej's voice broke through the haze, filled with concern.

Nina looked up to see Inej standing in the doorway, her friend's dark eyes filled with understanding and worry. "I'm okay," Nina lied, her voice hoarse from crying.

Inej stepped closer, picking up the jacket and handing it back to Nina. "You don't have to do this alone, you know."

Nina nodded, though she knew that this journey, this grief, was something she would have to face on her own terms. "I need to take him home, Inej. It's the least I can do."

"I will," Nina promised, though she wasn't sure how she would keep that vow. She felt like a part of her had been buried with Matthias, and the road ahead seemed impossibly long and cold.

Inej sat down beside her, the silence between them filled with unspoken words. "Do you remember when Oomen cut me?" Inej began softly.

Nina glanced at her friend, surprised by the sudden shift in conversation. "Of course. How could I forget?"

"I was so close to giving up," Inej continued. "I felt the darkness closing in, and I thought that was the end for me. But then you came, Nina. You healed me. You brought me back."

"I did what I had to," Nina said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"You did more than that," Inej insisted. "You showed me that there was still light, even in the darkest of times. You gave me hope when I had none."

Nina's tears flowed freely now. "Inej, I..."

Inej reached out, taking Nina's hand in hers. "You have that same strength, Nina. You can find your way through this. And you don't have to do it alone."

Nina squeezed her friend's hand, drawing comfort from the warmth of her touch. "Thank you, Inej."

Nina stood up, wiping her tears, and looked around the study. She had to be strong, for Matthias, for herself, and for those who believed in her. With a deep breath, she steeled herself for the challenges ahead.

Then, without warning, the sound of shattering glass echoed through the mansion, followed by a chilling voice that sent a jolt of fear through Nina's heart. She turned, eyes wide, as a shadowy figure emerged from the darkness.

"Nina Zenik," the voice hissed. "Did you really think you could escape me?

Nina's breath caught in her throat as the figure stepped into the light, revealing a face she never thought she'd see again.

Helnik || GHOSTS OF OUR PAST || Chapter 2

Timeline: Just after Crooked Kingdom, right before King of Scars

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 2.8K+

Note: totally not venging revenge for my wasted tears over the untold story of helnik-

• masterlist // prologue // prev. chp // next chapter (coming soon)

---

Nina's heart pounded in her chest as she stared at the figure before her. The flickering candlelight cast eerie shadows on the walls, making the face of the intruder even more sinister. She took a step back, her mind racing with a thousand possibilities.

The figure smirked, taking a deliberate step forward. "Surprised to see me, Nina?"

Nina's breath caught in her throat. She recognized the voice, though it had been years since she had last heard it. "Jurgen," she whispered, the name escaping her lips like a curse.

Jurgen, a former drüskelle, had been one of Matthias' closest comrades. He was ruthless and unyielding, known for his brutal efficiency in hunting down Grisha. How had he found her here in Ketterdam? And why now, when she was already at her weakest?

"What do you want?" Nina demanded, forcing herself to stand tall, despite the fear gnawing at her insides.

Jurgen's smirk widened. "Revenge, of course. You took Matthias from us, and now you'll pay the price."

Nina's mind raced as she tried to formulate a plan. She couldn't afford to show weakness, not now. "Matthias chose his own path. He wasn't yours to control."

Jurgen's eyes narrowed. "He was ours until you corrupted him. But no matter. Your death will send a message to all who think they can defy us."

Nina swallowed hard, feeling the weight of Matthias' jacket still clutched in her hands. She needed to buy time, to find a way to turn the situation in her favour. "Do you really think killing me will bring him back? Matthias wouldn't want this."

Jurgen's expression darkened. "Don't pretend to know what Matthias would have wanted. You twisted his mind, made him weak."

Anger flared within Nina, a fierce protective instinct she couldn't suppress. "Matthias was stronger than any of you. He saw the truth, saw that the world wasn't just black and white. He chose love over hate."

Jurgen's lip curled in disdain. "Spare me your sentimental drivel. Your time is up, Nina Zenik."

With a swift motion, Jurgen drew a dagger, the blade gleaming menacingly in the candlelight. Nina's heart skipped a beat, but she refused to back down. "You're making a mistake," she said, her voice steady. "Ketterdam is under Kaz Brekker's control. You won't get out of here alive."

Jurgen laughed, a harsh, grating sound. "Kaz Brekker? The so-called Bastard of the Barrel? He means nothing to me."

Nina's mind raced. She needed to think quickly, to find a way to outmanoeuvre Jurgen. She focused on her training, on the lessons Matthias had taught her about survival and resilience. "Then let's see if you can handle me," she said, summoning all her courage.

Before Jurgen could react, Nina lunged forward, using the element of surprise to her advantage. She grabbed a nearby candlestick and swung it at him with all her strength. The heavy metal connected with his arm, causing him to drop the dagger.

Jurgen snarled in pain and rage, but Nina didn't give him a chance to recover. She kicked the dagger away, sending it skidding across the floor. "You're not going to win this fight," she said, her voice filled with determination.

Jurgen's eyes blazed with fury, but there was a hint of uncertainty in his gaze. "We'll see about that," he growled.

Before he could make another move, he suddenly stiffened, his eyes widening in shock. A thin line of blood appeared on his neck, and he collapsed to the floor, dead.

Nina's knees buckled, and she sank to the floor, the adrenaline leaving her body in a rush. She looked up to see Inej Ghafa appear from the shadows, her expression calm and steady. "You're safe now," Inej said softly.

Nina nodded weakly, her breath coming in ragged gasps. "I... I think so."

Inej helped her to her feet, her grip steady and reassuring. "We need to be more careful. It seems our enemies are closer than we thought.

Nina's mind was still reeling from the encounter, but she knew Inej was right.

Nina took a deep breath, trying to steady her racing heart. She knew she couldn't delay her journey to Fjerda any longer. She needed to bury Matthias and find some semblance of peace.

The next morning, the Van Eck Mansion was bustling with activity. Jesper and Wylan were already in the study, sorting through documents and maps. Kaz was at the desk, his fingers steepled in concentration as he reviewed the necessary transactions.

"Nina, you need to be ready," Inej said looking up from the map. "The journey won't be easy. I have spoken with the crew. We all give you all the help we can. In the meanwhile, why don't you come with me? There's a place we can go for waffles. You need a moment to breathe."

"Are you sure?"

"Com'on Nina. How can it hurt?"

Nina hesitated, glancing around the room filled with maps and plans, the weight of her next steps looming over her. But the thought of waffles, warm and sweet, tugged at something deep within her—something that reminded her of simpler times, of moments shared with people she loved.

Nina chuckled, the sound foreign and out of place amidst the wreckage of her mind. But she nodded. “Alright, let’s go. I can’t say no to waffles.”

The two women left the mansion, slipping into the bustling streets of Ketterdam. The cold air nipped at their cheeks, but Nina welcomed it, letting the sharpness of the wind clear her mind.

As they walked, Nina let her thoughts drift. For a brief moment, it felt like she was a normal person again, just two friends going out for breakfast, without the weight of death and duty pressing down on her. She clutched Matthias’ jacket tighter around her, feeling the familiar roughness of the leather against her skin.

"How do you find these places?" Nina finally asked, breaking the silence.

Inej glanced at her, her eyes twinkling with amusement. "It’s Ketterdam. You just have to know where to look."

Soon enough, they reached a small, tucked-away café, the kind of place you could easily miss if you weren’t paying attention. The warm scent of baking bread and syrup hit Nina the moment they stepped inside, and for the first time in what felt like days, a genuine smile tugged at the corners of her lips.

The place was cozy, with just a few tables scattered around and a handful of customers already enjoying their breakfasts. Inej led them to a table by the window, where they sat down, letting the warmth of the café sink into their bones.

A kind-looking woman with flour dusted on her apron approached, her smile bright and welcoming. "What can I get for you ladies?"

"Waffles," Inej said before Nina could even open her mouth. "Two plates, with all the toppings."

Nina raised an eyebrow at her friend. "All the toppings?"

Inej’s smile widened. "You’ll need it."

The woman bustled away, leaving the two of them alone again. Nina stared out the window, watching as the people of Ketterdam went about their business, oblivious to the battles and heartaches she carried with her.

"It’s hard," Nina said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. "To keep going. To act like everything’s normal when it’s not."

Inej didn’t answer right away. She simply let the silence hang between them for a moment, before speaking softly. "I know it’s hard, Nina. But you’re not alone. And you don’t have to be strong all the time."

Nina swallowed, her throat tight. "I keep thinking about him. How I failed him."

"You didn’t fail him," Inej said firmly, "You loved him. And that’s what matters."

As they waited, Nina's thoughts kept drifting back to Matthias, to the life they could have had together. When the waffles arrived, she found she couldn't muster the enthusiasm she usually had for the treat.

"Nina, it's okay to grieve. You don't have to be strong all the time."

Nina looked up, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. "Inej, I don't know how to do this without him. He was my anchor, my rock."

Inej reached across the table, taking Nina's hand in hers. "You helped me when I was at my lowest, remember? When Oomen cut me, you brought me back. You showed me how to fight, how to survive. Now it's my turn to help you."

Nina let out a shaky breath, the tears finally spilling over. "I miss him so much, Inej. It feels like a part of me is missing."

Inej squeezed her hand. "It's okay to miss him. But remember, Matthias wouldn't want you to give up. He'd want you to keep fighting, to keep living."

Nina nodded, trying to absorb Inej's words. "You're right. He would."

Nina stared down at the waffles in front of her. Normally, she’d dive right in, smothering them with extra cream and berries. But today, they seemed almost... foreign. She poked at them with her fork, letting the smell and warmth curl around her, though it did little to comfort her heart.

Inej remained silent, sipping her tea, her presence steady like the tide. She knew when words would help and when they’d simply add to the noise in Nina's head.

After a moment, Nina took a bite, savoring the sweetness despite the bitterness in her chest. The food tasted good, but it couldn’t fill the void Matthias had left behind. "I wish he could’ve tasted these," Nina said softly, her voice cracking just a little.

Inej looked at her with quiet understanding, but she didn’t push. She never did. Instead, she let Nina's words hang in the air, knowing that it was enough for now.

As they finished up, Inej gently placed a few coins on the table and rose to her feet. "Ready?"

They ate in silence for a while, the sound of other patrons laughing and chatting quietly filling the cozy café. Nina tried to focus on those noises, tried to pretend like everything was normal. For a fleeting second, she almost believed it.

Nina wiped her mouth with a napkin and nodded. "Yeah. Let’s get back. I need to focus."

The cold hit them again as they stepped outside, though this time it didn’t feel as biting. It was almost as if the small café had offered a temporary reprieve from the grief that threatened to suffocate Nina. She still carried the weight of her loss, but it felt... lighter, like a burden she didn’t have to shoulder alone.

They walked in silence, navigating the familiar streets back to the Van Eck mansion. The further they got, the closer reality crept in—plans, journeys, final goodbyes.

Back at the mansion, Jesper and Wylan were busy finalizing the preparations. They had gathered all the necessary supplies and were now packing them into sturdy crates.

Nina joined them, her heart heavy but resolute. "I'm ready," she said, her voice steady.

Jesper handed her a small, intricately carved box. "We found this among Matthias's things. We thought you might want to take it with you."

Nina opened the box, her breath catching when she saw the contents. Inside was a small, silver locket engraved with the words, "Jer molle pe oonet. Enel mörd je nej afva trohem verret." She felt a lump in her throat as she read the inscription. "I have been made to protect you. Only in death will I be kept from this oath."

Jesper placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "He wanted you to have it, Nina. To remember him by."

Nina closed the box, holding it close to her heart. "Thank you, Jesper. This means more to me than you know."

Kaz approached her, handing her a set of documents. "These are the arrangements for your journey. The ship will take you to Fjerda, and from there, you'll need to make your way to the burial site."

Nina took the documents, her heart heavy but determined. "I'll see it through. For Matthias."

The room around her hummed with quiet activity, but the world felt distant. She traced the inscription on the locket, the words grounding her as if they were Matthias' final vow to protect her even now.

Kaz’s voice broke through her thoughts. “The ship won’t wait, Nina.”

She lifted her gaze to meet his, nodding once. The Bastard of the Barrel was a man of few comforts, but Nina knew that his abruptness was his way of caring. She slid the locket into her pocket, feeling its cool weight settle against her. She would carry Matthias with her, always.

The others had gathered in the grand entrance hall—Jesper, Wylan, and Inej stood watching her, their faces shadowed with worry. But this wasn’t their fight, their farewell. This was hers alone.

Jesper, trying to keep the mood light as he always did, flashed her a crooked grin. “Don’t go causing too much trouble up there in the ice. We can’t all come and rescue you, you know.”

Nina forced a small smile, though it barely reached her eyes. “I think I’ve caused enough trouble to last a lifetime.”

Wylan stepped forward, handing her a small bag with rations and supplies. “It’s not much, but it should help until you reach Fjerda.”

Nina took the bag gratefully, glancing down at it. “Thank you, Wylan. I don’t deserve all this.”

Wylan opened his mouth as if to argue, but then thought better of it. He knew better than anyone that there was no talking Nina out of this.

The air in the mansion seemed to grow heavier, like the walls themselves knew this was a moment of finality. Nina had never been one to shy away from the truth, no matter how painful, but standing here, preparing to leave behind her only family in Ketterdam, the weight of it was almost unbearable.

Finally, she turned to Kaz. “I’ll be back,” she said softly.

Kaz met her gaze, unflinching. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Zenik.”

Nina bit her lip but nodded in acknowledgment. Kaz didn’t deal in hope, and Nina couldn’t blame him for that. She shouldered her pack and headed for the door.

As she walked down the grand staircase and out into the cold Ketterdam morning, Inej caught up with her.

“Nina, wait.”

Nina stopped, turning to find Inej with that familiar look in her eyes — the one that said she saw more than what was in front of her. The one that had always made Nina feel like Inej knew her in a way no one else could.

Inej took a step closer, her voice soft but firm. “Take care of yourself. And remember, you’re stronger than you think.”

Nina swallowed hard, nodding. “I will, Inej. Thank you.”

The two women exchanged a silent understanding. No more words were needed. Inej was a reminder of all the strength Nina had left in her, even when it felt like she had none. She would carry that with her, too, on this journey.

As Nina walked toward the docks, the city slowly began to stir to life around her. The familiar clamour of Ketterdam’s streets was distant now, a background hum as her thoughts focused inward. She was leaving behind a part of herself here, a life she had known and the people she had grown to love. But another part of her, the part that still belonged to Matthias, was pulling her north—back to the frozen wasteland that had taken him from her.

Each step felt heavier than the last, but with each breath, she steeled herself. The weight of her mission settled over her like a cloak, protecting her from the cold, from the fear, from the sorrow that threatened to overwhelm her.

Matthias had fought so hard for this—fought to change, fought to live. Now, it was her turn to honour him. She wasn’t just carrying his memory with her; she was carrying his fight, his hope. And somehow, through the numbness and the pain, that thought gave her strength.

As she reached the docks, the scent of saltwater and wood filled the air. The ship that would take her to Fjerda bobbed gently against the pier, its dark sails standing stark against the early morning sky. It wasn’t a grand ship, but it was enough. Enough to take her where she needed to go. Enough to take her home.

Nina paused for a moment, standing at the edge of the dock, her heart pounding in her chest. She took one last deep breath of Ketterdam air, letting the wind carry away some of the weight she had been holding onto.

And then, with steady steps, she boarded the ship. The journey ahead would be long, but she was ready to face the unknown.

Ready to honour Matthias by living the life he had fought so hard to protect.