Dan Harmon - Tumblr Posts

Oh jeeze, I forgot about this one.

Doomed by the narrative but only because the writer of the narrative is a fucking dumbass

I just want to know which writer on Rick and Morty wants that damn Mulan Sauce this badly ???

I’m in love with this new episode of Rick and Morty, I can’t believe people don’t like it. It was way better than the last two episodes, feels like an episode from season 1. It was also nice to see Rick admit Morty could be the thing he cared most about. I still believe the rocket ride was really for him too.

I hate that rick and morty ended with morty forgetting what he learned

Lol cute how Rick erased all his embarrassing moments from Morty's memory, what an insecure fuck

Rick telling morty to get behind him when he saw an alien coming 👌👌 good shit, grandpa loves you morty!

I love it, Rick made a device for Morty so he could be able to talk to animals! Are you shitting me, he loves his grandson!

I still think how Rick was sitting, while waiting for Morty in: Vindicators 3, is so cute!!

There was a glee club at Greendale, and their bus was driving on a rainy night, and a downed power line was hanging across the road, and the bus drove through it, and it sliced through the bus and decapitated everyone, row by row, so that the people in the back had to watch all their friends get decapitated, then they got decapitated, and then the bus drove into a pool of lava. And I guess the crazy thing is, the electricity from the power line somehow kept their nervous systems "alive," so they could feel the lava. They didn't escape the pain of the lava just because they didn't have heads. They felt the lava. It was terrible but it was not metaphorical in any way. I would never be that petty and envious of another show's popularity.

Dan Harmon, Community creator (who is definitely not jealous of Glee)

For whatever reason, out of the families in the animal kingdom, I find birds are, by far, the hardest to keep safe in dreams. As the child of two veterinarians, animals (not surprisingly) often play critical roles in my dreams.  This hummingbird dream reminds me of a dream I had when I was really young that has stuck with me through the years. 

I was with my family at a museum. On display was one of the last surviving members of this endangered species of dolphin. It was magnificent; it was big and powerful, and had dark grey freckles across its dorsal side.

The exhibit was on the roof where the small, shallow pool was open and left the dolphin exposed to the elements. I realized the dolphin was swimming in tight circles along the edge of it's cement tank, growing increasingly agitated as the sky turned grey, indicating a storm approaching. This was a textbook example of unhealthy behavior exhibited by captive animals who were kept in environments that did not meet the animals physical or mental/emotional needs.

I tried desperately to get my parents to help - they were also distressed by the dolphin's conditions. They only told me that they didn't know anybody who could take the dolphin. I asked if there were any rescue or wildlife protection organizations that could do something. Their only answer was: no, everyone's hands are tied. In a final attempt to do something, I asked if we could just pool all our savings and buy the dolphin in order to save its life. My request was turned down. Eventually I was left alone with the dolphin on the roof of the museum, crying into the tank, wishing there was something I could do.

Just woke up from a very on-the-nose, Showtime Original Series kind of dream. I was living at my apartment on Commonwealth avenue, and I was coming home to it when a hummingbird followed me inside. I put my hand out and it landed on my finger. I gave it a little push and it was flying freely around my apartment, but my cat got a hold of it and I had to rescue it, so then I just started holding its little feet between my fingers so it wouldn’t fly off and get hurt. It didn’t seem to mind.

I took it to the front door of my apartment to let it go. It hovered in the doorway and didn’t leave and I couldn’t help but put my hand out again and, again, it landed on my finger. I thought, nobody’s going to believe this, I ought to get a photo of it.

By the time I got my phone out, a large dog had entered my apartment and had somehow gotten the hummingbird in its mouth. I got it away. It was still fine, but I started taking to holding its whole body lightly in my hand. I could feel its little heartbeat beating a thousand times a second but I remembered reading somewhere that that was normal for a hummingbird.

I wanted to send it on its way, get it away from this apartment, where it didn’t belong, where it was in danger, but now I wanted to capture it on video before it left. I found my iPad and was trying to get it in camcorder mode with one hand while clutching this tiny, fragile thing in the other while, and all the while, more cats and dogs were showing up to the apartment, as if they could sense the little bird’s presence and couldn’t wait to eat it.

Then people started coming over, the landlord, a little girl from next door, all of them asking questions and trying to help. I couldn’t trust any of them to capture the bird on video and I certainly couldn’t trust them to hold the bird and I couldn’t let it go around these animals but I also couldn’t get the stupid iPad in video mode with the camera facing the right way.

Finally, my girlfriend, Erin, came over, and I let her take the iPad so I could protect the bird. I penned all the cats and dogs inside the apartment and walked out to the front of the building. The landlord told me to make sure he and the building weren’t in the video, because it was illegal to touch a hummingbird. The little girl explained that they were endangered, and that once they smell like a human, other hummingbirds ostracize them. A family from the building next door pulled their car down their driveway. The car had a canoe on the roof and was loaded with camping supplies. The mother leaned out its window and said, “has it had a heart attack yet?”

I said let’s just forget the video, let’s just let it go and run inside so it doesn’t come back.

Erin confessed that she had just made a deal with YouTube, they were expecting footage of a hummingbird.

I noticed I hadn’t felt the heartbeat in my hand for a while.

I woke up sad and confused in a hotel room. Mostly because, when your creative anxiety dreams are that hacky, you’ve got good reason to have creative anxiety. But at least I’m dreaming again.

I think my unconscious got insulted by my description of yesterday’s dream as hacky because I just woke up from a really unmarketable one.

I was a French detective, maybe private, maybe municipal, some kind of investigatory agent. I had been hired to solve a growing problem that had something to do with a new advertising campaign.

I think it was the future, this was never explicitly established but I’m saying it while remembering the dream, because in this world, TV, movies and video games had become the same thing, and all entertainment had fused with reality, and advertisement had taken the form of real-life events designed to capture our attention. One such advertisement had gotten out of control, there were extreme “flavor storms” happening (nobody called them that but I’m calling them that), in which basketball-sized globules of a new snack flavor were raining down on public places, destroying property and killing people because they were like acid, eating through metal and flesh. I was certain it was a new Dorito flavor but my job was to prove it.

The noirish complication was, the more I watched myself walking around asking bystanders if they’d heard about this new extreme flavor causing so much havoc, the more I began to wonder if my investigation wasn’t actually just another layer of the promotion. I’d been set up.

I had this young female partner and protege that looked kind of Aeon Fluxy, and she was asking me a lot of questions about the discipline of detaching oneself from reality..I kept telling her, just watch what I do, I can’t explain it, you have to observe. I have to observe. And I remember having her call up every old TV show she could find in which the protagonist had become detached enough to investigate his own investigation.

In this future-ish world, you could play any pre-existing entertainment in your head; you could watch five old TV shows at once while having a conversation and it would all be in your head…this is why I had become so suspicious about my case - new entertainment had become reality and old entertainment had become something we watched without watching, so who was to say my reality wasn’t something someone else was watching? I knew there had been countless movies and TV shows in the past that had played with this concept, so why not pull those up. I continued my investigation while watching an episode of Diff’rent Strokes in which Arnold and Dudley go to Los Angeles and visit NBC (dreamer’s note: I think there is an episode of Diff’rent Strokes where the Drunmonds visit the set of Knightrider but this episode wthin my dream was different). I found some kind of geographic/psychological connection between the places Arnold visited and the places where Extreme Dorito Storms were killing people, so I kept retracing his steps, and the storms kept getting worse.

There was a lot of cool business I can’t remember but toward the end of the dream, I leapt from the roof of my hotel onto a platform halfway up the Eiffel Tower, which was splashed by Dorito acid, and there were holes in the structure and I became siezed with vertigo as I looked down at a city of tiny houses through the assailed iron mesh. I couldn’t move. And at the same time, in my playback of Diff’rent Strokes, Arnold and Dudley had ended up on the Warner Brothers water tower, and were peering out over Los Angeles at a skyscraper with the NBC logo on it. The audience laughed and applauded, and the Eiffel tower started creaking. I ran and jumped off the platform and was able to grab a nearby curtain on the way down, because, luckily, as it turned out, the Eiffel Tower was inside a giant shopping mall.

I rode the curtain down to the floor level. I realized I had lost my cigarette and shook it out of the curtain before it caught fire.

My Aeon Fluxy protege was waiting for me and asked what she should do if I ever really fell.

I told her that if I ever really did fall, it would be a “cataclysmic event for her.” Why for her, she asked. “Because I’m dreaming,” I said.

And then I woke up, which is a bummer, because I was a French Detective in the future chasing Dorito storms for fuck’s sake. Put me back!

Hey that cool thing I did last year with Starburns for VICE is out now, I think! It’s on a thing called VICELAND, which is like a channel I guess? I can’t watch it, but if you’re in America then maybe you can! https://www.viceland.com/en_us/video/am-i-in-the-morgue/577c0e482879eb2205156f28

The rest of us, keep an eye out for VICE Party Legends for whenever it makes it’s way into a more accessible corner of the internet- my bit is in Episode 3!