Catelyn Stark - Tumblr Posts
little fish big fish swimming in the water
closeup !
The north remembers.
thought about young nedcat for 0.3 seconds and my head started to spin
lady stoneheart, my biggest loss
ertacaltinoz // epilogue, a storm of swords // weremoon // mark simonetti // epilogue, a storm of swords // dalisa art // zippo514 // epilogue, a storm of swords // milulya // brienne VIII, a feast for crows
Jon and Catelyn: The Accidental Progeny
Survival
Catelyn saw the shadow slip through the open door behind him. There was a low rumble, less than a snarl, the merest whisper of a threat, but he must have heard something, because he started to turn just as the wolf made its leap. They went down together, half sprawled over Catelyn where she'd fallen. The wolf had him under the jaw. The man's shriek lasted less than a second before the beast wrenched back its head, taking out half his throat. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn III
And suddenly the corpse's weight was gone, its fingers ripped from his throat. It was all Jon could do to roll over, retching and shaking. Ghost had it again. He watched as the direwolf buried his teeth in the wight's gut and began to rip and tear. A Game of Thrones - Jon VII
Reassurance
Her hand groped beneath her cloak, her fingers stiff and fumbling. The dagger was still at her side. She found she had to touch it now and then, to reassure herself. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn IV
He flexed the burned fingers of his sword hand. Longclaw was slung to his saddle, the carved stone wolf's-head pommel and soft leather grip of the great bastard sword within easy reach. A Storm of Swords - Jon II
Family
His mouth tightened. "And you see fit to loose the Kingslayer. You had no right." "I had a mother's right." A Storm of Swords - Catelyn I
“You wanted a way to save your little sister and still hold fast to the honor that means so much to you, to the vows you swore before your wooden god." She pointed with a pale finger. "There he stands, Lord Snow. Arya's deliverance.” A Dance with Dragons - Melisandre I
Vengeance
"Give me Cersei Lannister, Lord Karstark, and you would see how gentle a woman can be," Catelyn replied. A Game of Thrones - Catelyn XI
"It's death and destruction I want to bring down upon House Lannister, not scorn." A Dance with Dragons - Jon II
Pain
When Loras Tyrell unhorsed him, many of us became a trifle poorer. Ser Jaime lost a hundred golden dragons, the queen lost an emerald pendant, and I lost my knife. Her Grace got the emerald back, but the winner kept the rest." "Who?" Catelyn demanded, her mouth dry with fear. Her fingers ached with remembered pain. A Clash of Kings - Catelyn IV
Ser Barristan had been the Old Bear's best hope, Jon remembered; if he had fallen, what chance was there that Mormont's letter would be heeded? He curled his hand into a fist. Pain shot through his burned fingers. "What of my sisters?" A Game of Thrones - Jon VIII
Intuition
"Robb." She stopped and held his arm. "I told you once to keep Theon Greyjoy close, and you did not listen. Listen now. Send this man away. I am not saying you must banish him. Find some task that requires a man of courage, some honorable duty, what it is matters not… but do not keep him near you." A Storm of Swords - Catelyn II
All of a man's crimes were wiped away when he took the black, and all of his allegiances as well, yet he found it hard to think of Janos Slynt as a brother. There is blood between us. This man helped slay my father and did his best to have me killed as well. "Lord Janos." Jon sheathed his sword. "I am giving you command of Greyguard." A Dance with Dragons - Jon II
Inheritance
"That is as cruel as it is unfair. Jon is no Theon." "So you pray. Have you considered your sisters? What of their rights? I agree that the north must not be permitted to pass to the Imp, but what of Arya? By law, she comes after Sansa... your own sister, trueborn… " A Storm of Swords - Catelyn V
I had hoped to bestow Winterfell on a northman, you may recall. A son of Eddard Stark. He threw my offer in my face." Stannis Baratheon with a grievance was like a mastiff with a bone; he gnawed it down to splinters. "By right Winterfell should go to my sister Sansa." A Dance with Dragons - Jon I
Peace
"Wars need not be fought until the last drop of blood." Even she could hear the desperation in her voice. "You would not be the first king to bend the knee, nor even the first Stark." […] Robb's face was cold. "Is that why you freed the Kingslayer? To make a peace with the Lannisters?" "I freed Jaime for Sansa's sake . . . and Arya's, if she still lives. You know that. But if I nurtured some hope of buying peace as well, was that so ill?" A Storm of Swords - Catelyn IV
"If it please m'lord, the lads were wondering. Will it be peace, m'lord? Or blood and iron?" "Peace," Jon Snow replied. "Three days hence, Tormund Giantsbane will lead his people through the Wall. As friends, not foes. Some may even swell our ranks, as brothers. Now back to your duties." A Dance with Dragons - Jon XI
Fear
In the midst of slaughter, the Lord of the Crossing sat on his carved oaken throne, watching greedily. There was a dagger on the floor a few feet away. Perhaps it had skittered there when the Smalljon knocked the table off its trestles, or perhaps it had fallen from the hand of some dying man. Catelyn crawled toward it. Her limbs were leaden, and the taste of blood was in her mouth. A Storm of Swords - Catelyn VII
Men were screaming. Jon reached for Longclaw, but his fingers had grown stiff and clumsy. Somehow he could not seem to get the sword free of its scabbard. A Dance with Dragons - Jon XIII
Death
"Make an end," and a hand grabbed her scalp just as she'd done with Jinglebell, and she thought, No, don't, don't cut my hair, Ned loves my hair. Then the steel was at her throat, and its bite was red and cold. A Storm of Swords - Catelyn VII
Pain washed over him. Stick them with the pointy end. When the third dagger took him between the shoulder blades, he gave a grunt and fell face-first into the snow. He never felt the fourth knife. Only the cold… A Dance with Dragons - Jon XIII
Resurrection
“Sometimes she felt as though her heart had turned to stone.” A Game of Thrones - Catelyn VI
“Instead, he blamed Jon Snow and wondered when Jon's heart had turned to stone.” A Feast for Crows - Samwell III
And her lady mother, what would she say? Would she still want her back, after all the things she'd done?
Roslin: *exists*
Catelyn: Childbirth will be very hard on her, personally I think it's best for women to have wide hips, big breasts and strong arms so they can bear, feed and carry their children
No, don't, don't cut my hair, Ned loves my hair.
Doubt gripped her heart, where an instant before had been only weariness. It is nothing, she tried to tell herself, you are seeing grumkins in the woodpile, you are become an old silly woman sick with grief and fear.
Had a try of drawing a young Catelyn
i dont know if this is just my tendency to think eyes are the most important thing on a persons face but its crazy in game of thrones arya looks closer to catelyn than ned or jon
ASOIAF AU
Sansa is the only child of Ned and Catelyn Stark who has the Tully colouring. How does this affect her?
Canon Divergence AU
Cat and Tyrion meet at Moat Cailin; she takes him back to Winterfell for a trial, where she learns how he has tried to help Bran. This is enough for her to seriously reconsider what Littlefinger told her about the dagger. She confides in Tyrion before she lets him go--and she sends Ned a raven; Tyrion returns to King's Landing, to ask Littlefinger, not very nicely, why he was being framed for the murder of a young child.
mya stone: cara delevingne (carnival row, 2019-2023) & ruby cruz (willow, 2022-2023) / catelyn stark: cate blanchett (robin hood, 2010) / sansa stark: ellie bamber (willow, 2022-2023) / alayne stone: kaya scodelario (wuthering heights, 2011)
asoiaf women + perfume
catelyn tully
val the wildling
lysa tully
lyanna stark
daenerys targaryen
Hi, I've been reading your blog with a lot of interest. Since I especially like what you've written about the various queens, I was wondering what your opinion is on something I have been pondering, namely what Ned and Catelyn could have done differently in Sansa's education/upbringing to prepare her for the realities of being a queen/leading lady of a great house? From reading the books I got the idea Catelyn's education was more extensive for example... Thanks! Eva
Well, keep in mind that Catelyn’s upbringing was in some ways quite different from Sansa’s:
I have always done my duty, she thought. Perhaps that was why her lord father had always cherished her best of all his children. Her two older brothers had both died in infancy, so she had been son as well as daughter to Lord Hoster until Edmure was born. Then her mother had died and her father had told her that she must be the lady of Riverrun now, and she had done that too.
Catelyn wasn’t just Hoster’s favorite, but his heir presumptive in the 3-10 years between her birth and Edmure’s. Even after Edmure was born, Catelyn had additional responsibilities that Sansa never had growing up in Winterfell; she had to play the role of Lady Tully after Minisa’s death, presumably performing the sort of social entertaining and possibly also some of the household management that would be expected from the lady of the castle. Catelyn wasn’t voluntarily taking on these responsibilities, of course, but she was exposed to experiences that Sansa not only was not, but that Ned and Catelyn would never have wanted or expected her to be exposed to.
All that said, I don’t think Sansa was poorly raised for the role she was expected to play - that is, great lady (as wife of a great lord) and, eventually, Queen of Westeros. On the contrary, Sansa demonstrates early and often that she is very much suited for this role. For one, of course, she received a pretty good thorough education at Winterfell, and it shows. Not only does Sansa excel at all the traditionally feminine skills - sewing, dancing, music, poetry - but she prides herself on reading and writing better than her brothers, and demonstrates knowledge of Westerosi history. To this end as well, Sansa clearly took to heart the lessons on heraldry she learned growing up, a skill that aids her in the social interactions she would be expected to have on a regular basis as lady/queen.
Speaking of these interactions, this is another area where Sansa does very well - not only remembering the names and key details of nobles and courtiers, but communicating with them in a gracious and charming way:
[“]I am honored to know you, however irregular the manner of our meeting. I am Ser Barristan Selmy, of the Kingsguard.” He bowed.
Sansa knew the name, and now the courtesies that Septa Mordane had taught her over the years came back to her. “The Lord Commander of the Kingsguard,” she said, “and councillor to Robert our king and to Aerys Targaryen before him. The honor is mine, good knight. Even in the far north, the singers praise the deeds of Barristan the Bold.”
The green knight laughed again. “Barristan the Old, you mean. Don’t flatter him too sweetly, child, he thinks overmuch of himself already.” He smiled at her. “Now, wolf girl, if you can put a name to me as well, then I must concede that you are truly our Hand’s daughter.”
Joffrey stiffened beside her. “Have a care how you address my betrothed.”
“I can answer,” Sansa said quickly, to quell her prince’s anger. She smiled at the green knight. “Your helmet bears golden antlers, my lord. The stag is the sigil of the royal House. King Robert has two brothers. By your extreme youth, you can only be Renly Baratheon, Lord of Storm’s End and councillor to the king, and so I name you.”
She is good at this, he thought, as he watched her tell Lord Gyles that his cough was sounding better, compliment Elinor Tyrell on her gown, and question Jalabhar Xho about wedding customs in the Summer Isles. His cousin Ser Lancel had been brought down by Ser Kevan, the first time he’d left his sickbed since the battle. He looks ghastly. Lancel’s hair had turned white and brittle, and he was thin as a stick. Without his father beside him holding him up, he would surely have collapsed. Yet when Sansa praised his valor and said how good it was to see him getting strong again, both Lancel and Ser Kevan beamed.
Sansa also has an extremely keen grasp on the power of symbolism and imagery, especially within a political context - an important skill for a great lady/queen, whose life would be lived to a large degree on display:
Halfway along the route, a wailing woman forced her way between two watchmen and ran out into the street in front of the king and his companions, holding the corpse of her dead baby above her head. It was blue and swollen, grotesque, but the real horror was the mother’s eyes. Joffrey looked for a moment as if he meant to ride her down, but Sansa Stark leaned over and said something to him. The king fumbled in his purse, and flung the woman a silver stag.
There was a gown of purple silk that gave her pause, and another of dark blue velvet slashed with silver that would have woken all the color in her eyes, but in the end she remembered that Alayne was after all a bastard, and must not presume to dress above her station. The dress she picked was lambswool, dark brown and simply cut, with leaves and vines embroidered around the bodice, sleeves, and hem in golden thread. It was modest and becoming, though scarce richer than something a serving girl might wear. Petyr had given her all of Lady Lysa’s jewels as well, and she tried on several necklaces, but they all seemed ostentatious. In the end she chose a simple velvet ribbon in autumn gold.
Though a few were promised, only three were wed; the eight victors would be expected to spend the next three years at Lord Robert’s side, as his own personal guard (Alayne had suggested seven, like the Kingsguard, but Sweetrobin had insisted that he must have more knights than King Tommen), so older men with wives and children had not been invited.And they came, Alayne thought proudly. They all came.It had fallen out just as Petyr said it would, the day the ravens flew. “They’re young, eager, hungry for adventure and renown. Lysa would not let them go to war. This is the next best thing. A chance to serve their lord and prove their prowess. They will come. Even Harry the Heir.” He had smoothed her hair and kissed her forehead. “What a clever daughter you are.”It was clever. The tourney, the prizes, the winged knights, it had all been her own notion. Lord Robert’s mother had filled him full of fears, but he always took courage from the tales she read him of Ser Artys Arryn, the Winged Knight of legend, founder of his line. Why not surround him with Winged Knights?
On a perhaps more practical side of the question, Sansa pretty effectively took on management duties during her time at the Eyrie:
She saw to the mulling of the wine first, found a suitable wheel of sharp white cheese, and commanded the cook to bake bread enough for twenty, in case the Lords Declarant brought more men than expected. Once they eat our bread and salt they are our guests and cannot harm us. The Freys had broken all the laws of hospitality when they’d murdered her lady mother and her brother at the Twins, but she could not believe that a lord as noble as Yohn Royce would ever stoop to do the same.
The solar next. Its floor was covered by a Myrish carpet, so there was no need to lay down rushes. Alayne asked two serving men to erect the trestle table and bring up eight of the heavy oak-and-leather chairs. For a feast she would have placed one at the head of the table, one at the foot, and three along each side, but this was no feast. She had the men arrange six chairs on one side of the table, two on the other. By now the Lords Declarant might have climbed as far as Snow. It took most of a day to make the climb, even on muleback. Afoot, most men took several days.
It might be that the lords would talk late into the night. They would need fresh candles. After Maddy laid the fire, she sent her down to find the scented beeswax candles Lord Waxley had given Lady Lysa when he sought to win her hand. Then she visited the kitchens once again, to make certain of the wine and bread.
Maddy and Gretchel were waiting outside with Maester Colemon. The maester had washed the night soil from his hair and changed his robe. Robert’s squires had turned up as well. Terrance and Gyles could always sniff out trouble.
“Lord Robert is feeling stronger,” Alayne told the serving women. “Fetch hot water for his bath, but see you don’t scald him. And do not pull on his hair when you brush out the tangles, he hates that.” One of the squires sniggered, until she said, “Terrance, lay out his lordship’s riding clothes and his warmest cloak. Gyles, you may clean up that broken chamber pot.”
And of course, none of this is taking into account two important points. One, Sansa has natural intelligence and shrewdness, developed through the series, which complement the skills above: she is not just acting the part of a great lady, but can also see through certain acts on the part of others (whether, for example, it’s the unclear provenance of the Kettleblack brothers, the danger of a Joffrey-Margaery union for Margaery, or Littlefinger’s signature on the declaration giving Nestor Royce the Gates of the Moon). Two, Sansa is still young (yes, even by Westerosi standards). All of the actions above were taken by a girl between the ages of 11 and 13; neither Ned nor Catelyn would have expected Sansa to act as lady of a great household when she was still 11. I would expect adult Sansa (even by Westerosi standards) to be even more effective as a great lady than we’ve seen of her up to this point.
Chapters: 37/? Fandom: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, Game of Thrones (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Relationships: Jon Snow/Sansa Stark Characters: Jon Snow, Sansa Stark, Arya Stark, Bran Stark, Ned Stark, Catelyn Tully Stark, Robb Stark, Theon Greyjoy, Samwell Tarly, Gilly (A Song of Ice and Fire), Edd Tollett, Benjen Stark, Pyp | Pypar (A Song of Ice and Fire), Grenn (A Song of Ice and Fire), Jeor Mormont, Maester Aemon Targaryen, Grand Maester Pycelle (A Song of Ice and Fire), Tyrion Lannister, Tywin Lannister, Cersei Lannister, Jaime Lannister, Joffrey Baratheon, Shireen Baratheon, Tommen Baratheon, Myrcella Baratheon, Davos Seaworth, Melisandre (A Song of Ice and Fire), Varys (A Song of Ice and Fire), Petyr Baelish, Barristan Selmy, Margaery Tyrell, Olenna Tyrell, Loras Tyrell, Ghost | Jon Snow's Direwolf, Lady | Sansa Stark's Direwolf, Nymeria | Arya Stark's Direwolf, Grey Wind | Robb Stark's Direwolf, Summer | Bran Stark's Direwolf, Shaggydog | Rickon Stark's Direwolf, Rickon Stark, Sandor Clegane, Gregor Clegane, Edmure Tully, Brynden "Blackfish" Tully, Lysa Tully Arryn, Robert "Sweetrobin" Arryn, Yohn Royce, Anya Waynwood, Roose Bolton, Jon "The Greatjon" Umber, Rickard Karstark, Myranda Royce, dragon o/c Additional Tags: jonsa, R Plus L Equals J | Lyanna Stark and Rhaegar Targaryen are Jon Snow's Parents, Love, War, Character Death, Politics, Betrayal, Smut, orginialcharacterdragon, Direwolves (A Song of Ice and Fire), Dragons, Intrigue, Sexual Assault, Ramsay Snow is his own Warning Series: Part 2 of Daggers to the Heart Summary:
A war is brewing in the South. It is time to face the Lions. To complicate matters, familiar foes return to haunt them.
This is part 2 of a series, written in the order of the books To fully appreciate (and understand) this story, you need to read part one. If you don't, you won't know what is happening.
Daggers to the Heart Pt 1, A Game of Thrones Daggers to the Heart Pt 2, Clash of Kings
Promise - Jon Snow x Y/N (Reader)
Summary: You are a Lady from House Tully and Catelyn Starks ward. But you love her husband bastard son Jon and he loves you. Your relationship is a secret, but you don't care. But then Jon makes the decision to go to the Wall.
Warnings: implied first time, fluff, forbidden love
Words: 2.876
Gif not mine
English is not my frist language, so forgive me for my mistakes; not proof read.
You sit in the warm room and work on a handcraft. Sansa sits next to you and you both listen to the Septa's words. She explains something about housekeeping and numbers to you and Sansa, but you get bored and Sansa also prefers to concentrate on her stitches. Lady lies at your feet, her eyes are closed and she makes a quiet hum every now and then. Arya, fortunately for her, had hidden before the lesson with the Septa began. She's probably wandering around Winterfell or watching her brothers training with their swords. You are jealous of her.
"Septa, can you please tell us something about the Prince?" asks Sansa. Since Lord and Lady Stark shared with you that the royal party are one their way to visit Winterfell Sansa can only think about the golden Prince Joffrey.
"No, you have more important topics to learn my dear child." the Septa answers.
There's a knock on the door and Jon pokes his head in. Sansa rolls her eyes at the sight of her „Bastard-Brother“.
“Excuse me, Lady Stark sent me to get Lady Y/N.” You put your work aside and stand up.
"We will make up for the lesson." says the Septa.
"Of course." You say, but know you won't mind hearing such boring facts again. "Shall we go for a walk with Lady later?" Sansa asks. The Direwolf opens her eyes when she hears her name, but doesn´t move.
"Yes, I'll come straight to you after I've been to your mother." you answer. You are Catelyn Stark's ward, the daughter of a distant cousin of the Tullys. After your mother died giving birth to your brother and your father was called to Kingslanding by King Robert, Catelyn and her family let you in their house and raise you like you are one of them.
Jon closes the door behind you and smiles at you. You both walk through the corridors.
"Do you know what Catelyn wants?"
"Nothing. It was a lie. Do you really thought Catelyn will send me to get you?"
You laugh. "You can´t do things like that." you say but you smile. "It´s dangerous."
"Is it?" he asks, grabs your hips and press you gently against the next wall.
"Jon no." you giggle but then you grab his hand and kiss him, his grip at your hip tightens. Suddenly you hear steps, you and Jon jump apart and he takes two steps back.
"Because of you we will get caught." You say, Jon holds his arm to you, and you rake under it.
"You kissed me My Lady."
"I am sorry my Lord." Jons gaze is a bit sad now and he opens his mouth but you already know what he wants to say.
"I´m not a Lord.” You are faster than him and he smiles. “I know but I don´t care."
"Do you want to go for a ride?" he changes the topic.
"Of course."
"Good, meet me at the gates." Jon presses a light kiss at your lips and walks down the floor. You take a deep breath to calm down your heartbeat. Everytime you see him you have the feeling that your heart jumps out of your chest and in your stomach fly butterflies. You are madly in love with this man and you have the luck that he loves you too. You know it´s dangerous. He is a bastard and you are a Lady. Your Love is forbidden but you don´t care.
You walk through Winterfell, your home, to the gates. Ghost comes to you and nudges his snout into your hand. Behind the gates waits Jon with two horses. You take the reins from him and get on the horse. Jon also gets on his horse and together you ride off into the forest. It´s a bit cold, but you don´t care. You just enjoy the time you spend with Jon.
Jon stops in a clearing. "Let's take a break." You look at him a little confused, you two usually ride for hours through the forests around Winterfell. And it's usually you who ends up barely getting off the horse because your legs are stiff and hurt. Jon gets of his horse and comes to you to help you, but you don´t need his help. You jump from the horseback and land bevor your Lover.
"Not really Ladylike."
"Shut up Snow." you laugh, and he takes your hand in his.
"Usually, your word is my command." he kisses your hand. "But today I have to talk to you."
You look at him worried. "Something happened?" you ask. Jon sighs, taking your hand in one hand and the reins in the other. Then he starts walking, Ghost runs next to you. You're still waiting for an answer. "I spoke to father today. After the king came to visit, he allowed me to go to the wall."
You stop, forcing Jon to stop too.
"What?"
"It has always been my dream to go to the wall."
"You want to put on the black? You want to leave me?" you can´t believe what you´re hearing.
"No! No Y/N of course I don't want to leave you. But father says the king wants him as his hand. There is no other reason why he should travel north otherwise. And then I can't stay here."
"Robb wouldn't send you away."
"Of course not. But you know what Catelyn thinks of me, when father is gone it will only get worse and besides, what else do I have other than the wall?"
Tears come to your eyes. "You have me. But that doesn't seem to be that important to you." you pull your hand away.
"No! Y/N please. Listen to me okay. Please let me explain."
"What do you want to explain? Why you are leaving me? I don´t want to hear it." You say angrily, you don't want him to leave you. "You said you loved me!"
"I love you."
"You don't leave the person you love."
Now tears come to Jon's eyes too. "What choice do I have?"
"You can stay here with me."
"And then? Continue to hide? Continue to meet in secret? Secret kisses and always being afraid of being caught? In the worst-case Catelyn catches us and she will demand my head."
"No she won't! I'll explain to her that we love each other."
"You know her, she will not listen to you."
"Is that what you care about? Is it fear? Do you not want to see me anymore? But please, don´t leave our home."
"I love you! I can't even spend a day away from you without it tearing me up inside." He pulls you towards him and presses his lips against yours. The kiss is full of passion and love and you cling to him like you'll never see him again. You break apart breathless. Jon rests his forehead against yours and looks deep into your eyes.
“Please believe me that I love you and that I don't want to leave you. But I'm a bastard Y/N, there's hardly a place for me in this world. But I will have a place and a task at the Wall."
"I believe you. But I don't understand why you want to leave. You have a place in Winterfell. Your place is at my side. Isn't that enough for you? Am I not enough for you?"
"Of course." Tears run down your cheeks. Jon carefully wipes them away with his thumbs. “But we both know, someday you will leave Winterfell to marry some old Lord. And then I have nothing left. The Wall is my only way out, even if I have to leave you for it. It is better like this, for both of us.“ It feels like he's leaving you already “Please Y/N please don’t be mad at me and try to understand why I have to leave.”
"I'll try it."
"Let's ride back. You have a meeting with Sansa."
"Now I don't feel like walking anymore."
"I'm sorry. But I just wanted to explain my decision to you."
You nod and you head back to Winterfell. You stay silent the whole way back, you have a lot to think about. Shortly before you arrive, you part ways and you are the first to ride into the courtyard of Winterfell. Jon will follow you after a while.
Sansa comes towards you. "There you are." she calls. "We wanted to go for a walk."
"I'm not feeling so well, Sansa." you say, getting off the horse and walking past her. Sansa looks at you a little confused, but she doesn't say anything else.
Your thoughts revolve around Jon and his decision to go to the Wall.
You try to understand why he wants to leave. And even if you don't really want to admit it to yourself, you can understand his reasons.
You walk towards your room when Arya approaches you.
"Hello Y/N." Arya says happily when she sees you.
"Hello little wolf." You say, forcing a smile on your lips for her. "You weren't at the class with the Speta this morning."
"Yes, I managed to escape." laughs Arya.
"You shouldn't neglect your classes."
"I know."
"I won't tell your mother under one condition."
"What do you want?"
"Come with me and read something to me. You read so well, please Arya."
She rolls her eyes. She hates these things, actually she hates everything that has nothing to do with swords and bows. "Fine." she then agrees. The two of you make your way to your room, you take the book you are currently reading and give it to Arya. It's a silly fairy tale about love, but when Arya starts reading you close your eyes and imagine it's your story. Your love story with Jon.
--
And then the day comes. The worst day of your life! Today the royal Party will leave Winterfell and with them Lord Stark, Sansa, Arya and Jon. Originally you should travel with Lord Stark and his daughters to Kings Landing, but after Bran fell from a tower, you stay behind with Catelyn and Robb.
You are awake long before the sun will rise, but you couldn´t stay in bed. You get dressed and leave your room. You walk through the corridors up to Jons room. You are not often here, the danger of being caught is far too great, but today nothing matters anymore. You knock at his door, it takes a moment and then he opens the door. He stands in front of you and looks at you in surprise.
“Y/N, what are you doing here?”
You try to ignore his bare chest and step inside his room.
“I couldn´t sleep and I wanted to say goodbye to you. Before we doesn´t have time for us anymore.” Tears well up in your eyes. You had prayed to the gods that this day will never come, but now there is nothing you can do anymore than watch the love of your life leave.
Jon smiles at you. “I am glade, that you are here, but what if someone sees you?”
“I don´t care.”
“You should.”
“No. Everything I care about is that we only have hours left together.” You reach up to him and kiss his lips.
Jon kisses you back for a second, but than he pulls away. “Y/N.” he sighs and looks at you with sad eyes.
“No. I don´t want to be sad now. Please. We only have a few hours left together. I don´t want to waste them.”
Jon strokes your cheek and smiles. “I love you so much.”
“And I love you. Forever.”
Jon kisses you again, you wrap your arms around his neck. Jon wraps his arms around your body and pulls you closer to him. The kiss is full of love and affection. You know he loves you and he know you love him. Even if your love is forbidden, even if everything speaks against your love. Nobody can take this away form you. Not a King, not a Lord or the Wall.
Your hands run over his bare chest.
His lips move to your neck, and you have to suppress a moan. His touch sets a fire inside you. You know this feeling, Jon has triggered this feeling in you again and again.
His hands roam over your back and then in front and over your arms. Jon pulls away from you, breathing heavily. His eyes sparkle and his lips meet yours again. Just for a second and then he pulls away.
"You have to go."
"Why."
"If you stay any longer, I can't promise anything anymore."
"I don't want you to promise me anything." you kiss him again, this time demanding and passionate. Your hands bury themselves in his hair and Jon groans.
"We can´t." He whispers against your lips and then kisses you again. His hands roam over your body and you get goosebumps all over your body.
"I know what you're afraid of, Jon. But don't worry."
Jon looks at you for a moment. You can see in his face that he is thinking.
And then he kisses you passionately. His hands are all over your body. You snuggle up against him and moan under his touch. "Are you sure?" he asks breathless.
"Yes. I've never been so sure."
You turn around, Jon kisses your neck as he undoes the laces of your dress. It falls to the floor and you shiver.
You've never experienced anything like what you had with Jon that morning. It was loving, tender and beautiful.
You lie together on his bed. The sun rises and you hear the first servants walking across the hallways. Jon’s hand gently strokes your bare shoulder.
"We have to get up." you say.
"I don't want this moment to be over."
"I don't want it either." You turn to him and press a soft kiss to his lips.
“I love you Y/N.”
“I love you Jon.” It's just a whisper in the room, but to you it means everything. No one can take your time with Jon away from you, even if he leaves you today.
“Y/N.” Jon's voice is suddenly serious. "I will travel to the Wall today and I will put on the black. But I want to promise you something. I promise you that we will see each other again." He kisses your forehead and now you can't hold back the tears. "Don't cry my lady."
"I'm trying My." you interrupt yourself. “My Jon.”
--
You stand next to Catelyn in the courtyard to say goodbye to the king and his entourage. And to say goodbye to Lord Stark, Sansa, Arya and Jon. You hardly dare to look Jon in the eyes. You try to hold back the tears, but you can't quite manage it. A few tears roll down your cheeks, but you can blame it on the fact that you're going to miss Sansa and Arya so much.
The royal party starts moving and Jon also turns his horse towards the gate. But before he leaves Winterfell he turns around again, and your eyes meet. You look into his eyes one last time. He nods slightly at you and smiles. It's a sad smile, but you know what it means. I love you and this farewell isn´t forever. You will see each other again.
The gates close and you stand alone in the courtyard, and for the first time since you have been in Winterfell, you are actually cold. For the first time in your live you feel lonely. Caytlin says something to you, but you don´t hear what she said. You turn around and run into your room. You lock the door behind you and fall weakly onto your bed. Tears immediately stream down your cheeks, and you feel like your heart is tearing apart in your chest. He is gone. He is really gone.
--
The cold wind blows around your ears and you pull the fur collar of your cloak further up. You take a deep breath and ride towards the gate of Castle Black. You stop just before the gate and get off your horse. Your steps slowly carry you forward.
“Who are you?” a strange voice came from behind the gate.
“Lady Y/N, from Winterfell. I want to see Jon Snow.” Your voice trembles, but you´re almost there. You´re almost with him.
It takes a short moment and then the gate open and you can step into the courtyard of Castle Black. A lot of strange man look at you. You look around nervously. Your hair is messy, and your dress is covered in dirt and the hem is soaked in blood. Robbs blood.
“Y/N.” his voice flows through you, you turn around and looks at him. Jon comes down the stairs and runs across the yard to you. Before he even reaches you, tears are running down your cheeks. Finally, he wraps you in his arms again. You take a deep breath. His scent, so familiar and yet so strange, envelops you. For the first time since you left the Twins you feel safe.
“Please never leave me again.” You whisper in his ear.
“Never. I promise.”