Anakin Skywalker Imagine - Tumblr Posts

I'll Be There

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Prompts - "Are you hurt?"

It had taken years for a Master to take you on as their Padawan, most had heard the rumours that you took the Jedi Code as more of a suggestion than a set of rules to live by, they knew you let yourself feel things more deeply than was allowed and you seemed to form an attachment to anybody you came across. No Master wanted to take on your responsibility, no Master wanted to be defeated by a Padawan, knowing that you would never change how you saw the world.

It wasn’t a surprise to any of the Master’s when Obi-Wan was the one to take you on as his Padawan a few years after Anakin had been knighted, nobody was surprised at all. If Obi-Wan had managed to survive Anakin Skywalker, had managed to raise and train that boy into a Jedi Knight then there was no doubt he could train you, the man’s patience would truly be tested. 

You hadn’t wanted a Master, hadn’t wanted somebody who thought they could change everything about you, hadn’t wanted to be around another person who would give you disappointed looks and sighs of disapproval every time you expressed emotions. You’d heard all about Obi-Wan though, of course you had, he was a hero in the war, he was The Negotiator. You knew how admired he was, how desperately so many Padawan’s wanted him to be their Master and for some reason he had chosen you.

There had been many times where you had considered your own future, wondered why you remained in the Order when every day you saw it stray further and further from what it was supposed to be. You figured you were waiting for something to change, every time you meditated on it, it felt like the Force was pleading with you to stick around a little longer, to wait it out, whispers of promises and a bright future, one without pain and devastation, one where a faceless figure wasn’t crying out in pain, surrounded by flames and burning and pain and loss. 

The Force liked to show you the future in the worst way possible, you could never make it out. The Force Visions always hit you hard, always seemed to speak to you, of the fact that you had the ability to change not only the outcome of the war but also the outcome of the future of the galaxy. Why it trusted you with these visions you didn’t know, sometimes you wished you had never seen them, at least then you could have left the Order, put your abilities towards something good, to actually helping people instead of being trained to fight in a war.

You were one of the eldest Padawan’s without a Master but it didn’t bother you, you hadn’t needed a Master. You spent all your free time learning, there was always something new to learn and you were determined to be as good as you could be, Master or no Master.

When you were told Obi-Wan was to be your new Master you knew it would mean being thrust into the heart of the war. It hadn’t scared you, you knew you were good and could defend yourself and those around you but you were anxious, you had never left Coruscant since you had arrived, had never actually been in battle before outside of make believe ones set up in the Temple.

Obi-Wan was kind, that was the first word that seemed to come to mind when you met him. He was soft spoken and listened intently as you spoke about your training. He had a few days leave in order to meet you and see where you were up to and hadn’t wasted a moment. The first day you met he had you in one of the training rooms, the two of you duelling until Obi-Wan tucked his lightsaber away and regarded you with an impressed look before inviting you to meditate with him.

As connected with the Force as you where you had rarely mediated with another person, you could count the number of times you had on one hand. Usually it was a difficult task compared to being alone, you struggled to sink into a peaceful state, too aware of others around you but when sat across from Obi-Wan you found it was easier. You could feel his Force signature but unlike everyone else’s it wasn’t distracting, instead it was inviting, the Force telling you that you could trust him and so you let yourself sink down into the feeling of the Force and let your mind wander.

From there it had been easy to allow Obi-Wan into your life, he was the first person you had met who didn’t seem to judge or criticise you. You actually liked being around him, not only for the comfort his Force signature gave off, calming you down easily, but because he treated you like you were normal, he was there with gentle words and soft solutions, easy smiles, and a welcoming pat on the shoulder. It made the shift from the temple to being in the middle of a war easier.

Then there was his former Padawan.

You had met Anakin on your first day leaving the Temple, Obi-Wan’s time on leave coming to an end which meant your time at the Temple was too coming to an end. Obi-Wan had led you to a ship and your eyes widened at just how many clones were there, all working on loading the ship. Obi-Wan had told you that two battalions would be coming on the latest mission, his own was the 212th and Anakin’s battalion the 501st. 

He scanned the area before he found who he was looking for and you watched as an easy smile spread across his face before he gestured for you to follow him. You hadn’t been looking where you were going, too focused on your surroundings that you bumped into Obi-Wan causing you to snap around to him, a sheepish look on your face causing him to chuckle before he turned back to the young man in front of him. 

Your breath almost caught in your throat, of course you’d seen pictures of this man, his face was slapped across the city, the Hero With No Fear, and yet somehow you weren’t prepared to come face to face with him. He was beautiful, truly and utterly beautiful, he was a man whose company you could spend hours in, memorising every part of his face until you knew it like the back of your hand.

You had never particularly held the Jedi Code in the highest of regards, you found it easy to fall in love, you fell in love with the way a stranger laughed, fell in love with how children danced around the markets without a care in the world, oblivious to the war beyond the planet, you fell in love with everything. You formed attachments to things just as easily as you fell in love, the young girl you had saved by scarring of traffickers and she had insisted on buying you a sweet treat, the two of you laughing enough to forget how you had ended up there, the sweet twi'lek child who you had helped calm and reunite with his parents, the healer at the Temple who always smiled at you each time you went to her after a bad training session that left you with more cuts and bruises than you could even recall.

Even if you had followed the Code down to each letter you truly believed that one meeting with Anakin Skywalker, one flash of that easy going but charming grin he was shooting you now, would be enough for you to turn your back on it all together. You knew he played fast and loose with the Code too and hoped that it would work in your favour. 

For now though you shook your head slightly, forcing your attention back to the present as Obi-Wan introduced you to Anakin.

“It’s nice to meet you Y/N.” He grinned, reaching out and placing his hand on your shoulder. You were sure you felt the Force singing with happiness around you at the small touch but it could have just been you. “Good luck with Obi-Wan here as your Master.”

You laughed at the look Obi-Wan gave Anakin, one that spoke of many years of friendship even as he tried to look annoyed.

“It’s nice to meet you too.” You smiled, voice soft as you felt shyness running through you and Anakin must have sensed it too as his grin softened to a smile and he squeezed your shoulder gently before pulling away.

You missed his touch already.

With another shake of your head and a mental command to pull yourself together you followed Obi-Wan and Anakin into the ship, being introduced to different clones along the way and doing your best to remember them. 

It wasn’t long after that you were in the air and leaving the planet, two Clones coming up to greet Anakin and Obi-Wan and you were introduced to them, Captain Rex and Commander Cody. You had smiled at them, both of them greeting you formally causing you to smile, you weren’t anybody important and yet they still stood straighter as they addressed you.

The journey only lasted a few hours and you spent most of the time trying to keep out of the way as the two Jedi, two clones and the Admiral who all stood around a holomap and discussed different strategies and entry points. 

“Nervous?” Somebody asked suddenly causing you to jump before turning to see Anakin stood next to you, a smile on his face.

“Is it that noticeable?” You asked, watching as his smile grew wider and you couldn’t stop yourself from mirroring the expression.

“You’ve got Obi-Wan to protect you, don’t worry he won’t let anything happen to you, neither will any of the men and of course, I’ll be there. The first mission is always hard though.” He told you, completely unaware that his words of comfort had made your heartbeat faster and no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t slow it. “Just stay close and make sure you don’t wander too far off.”

“I think I can manage that.” You told him with a grin and tried to memorise the sound of his laugh, watching how his face seemed to light up.

One of the clones announced that you would be landing in a matter of minutes and Anakin turned to you, his grin fading into an encouraging smile as he reached over to rest his hand on your shoulder again, giving it a gentle squeeze before he led you over to Obi-Wan who smiled at the two of you.

Your first mission had gone…well it hadn’t gone great but it also wasn’t terrible. Even as you followed Anakin’s advice you still ended up nursing a broken arm from where you had been surrounded by battle droids after Obi-Wan had told you to stay hidden where you were whilst him and clones from the 212th handled the droids. 

You had fared well enough on your own for a while, able to hold off and destroy the few that had surrounded you but when more spotted the lone Jedi it hadn’t been long until you were outnumbered and as confident as you were with your skills you hadn’t been trained for real life situations and it was definitely more overwhelming than you’d originally thought.

One had managed to sneak up on you and sent you flying into one of the many tall rocks surrounding you and you’d managed to land funny on your good arm sending a shooting pain through you that had you crying out. You couldn’t let yourself focus on it though, not as the droids surrounded you and you forced yourself up, ignoring the burning pain and focused on the droids.

Thankfully the 501st caught up to Obi-Wan’s battalion pretty quickly and before you could register it Anakin had jumped over the droids, moving so he was back to back with you and throwing you a grin over his shoulder.

“Jumping right in then, huh, Y/N?” He chuckled and you couldn’t help but smile back at him, even with the ache in your arm as you waved your lightsaber through two droids.

“I like a challenge.” You grinned right back before the two of you focused your attentions on the fighter droids, you finding it was much easier to deal with them once you had a bit of back up.

You and Anakin dealt with them easily enough after that, the two of you surrounded by broken droid parts just as Obi-Wan showed up and looked at the mess. Anakin slung his arm around your shoulder, pulling you close to him as he led you over to Obi-Wan whilst the troopers made their way to the building that had been taken over by Separatists.

“She did well out there, Obi-Wan.” Anakin said, smiling down at you and you desperately tried to not let it show just how much this closeness was affecting you, how the feel of his arm around you, holding you close would be a feeling you would try to remember for a long time.

“Are you alright?” Obi-Wan asked softly, looking you up and down as to check for injuries.

You knew the mission wasn’t over yet, knew that there were more droids inside to deal with and you wanted to help, you didn’t want to be benched on your first mission. So you ignored the pain in your arm and nodded at the man.

“I’m fine, Master.” You told him and watched as he looked at you for a second longer before nodding back and gesturing for you and Anakin to follow the troopers into the building.

Anakin only removed his arm from your shoulder when more droids appeared but he made sure to keep you close to him, positioning himself so he was taking on the brunt of the droids, members of his battalion coming over to help. You forced yourself to focus, there would be plenty of time to let your thoughts wander about Anakin later but now you were in the middle of a battle.

With the number of clones and having three Jedi it wasn’t a long battle against the droids, though it felt longer as more and more seemed to flood from different doors, and eventually the control of the building, as well as the planet was back with the Republic. 

You were glad that the battle was done, your arm was aching, shooting pains ran up and down it and when you peaked under your sleeve you winced at how swollen and bruised it was already. Thankfully you knew it would be a quick fix once you got back to Coruscant but you had no idea if you were even going back there or if Obi-Wan had another mission planned already.

Anakin finished talking to one of the clones before he scanned the room, you watched as his eyes locked onto you and he shot you a grin as he made his way over to you, not hesitating to wrap his arm around your shoulder again, this time brushing against your arm causing you to wince and he pulled back immediately.

“Are you hurt?” He asked, his eyes scanning you up and down much like Obi-Wan had before.

“It’s nothing.” You told him, trying to brush it off but he caught your hand in his gently and you forced yourself to stay still, to not react.

Anakin carefully pulled your sleeve up, pausing to look up at you apologetically when you winced again only to wince himself as he saw your bruised and swollen arm.

“Ouch.” He hissed, his thumb brushing soothingly across your knuckles causing you to smile softly. “Come one, Kix will fix you right up once we’re back on the ship.” 

You smiled over at him as he pulled you along with him, your hand fitting in his like it was part of a puzzle piece and you tried to keep the smile off your face, tried to stop yourself from glancing down to memorise how his fingers looked tangled in yours but you couldn’t help but let your eyes wander.

Even when the two of you got back to the ship and Anakin led you over to a clone, Kix, your mind supplied, he didn’t leave you even though you knew he was supposed to be with Obi-Wan reporting back to the Council. He sat by your side and kept a hold of your good hand, letting his thumb brush across your knuckles, until Kix had patched you up, smiling at you and warning you to take it easy as you left.

You knew from that day something had changed, the Force around you seemed to soar when you and Anakin were near each other, practically buzzing with happiness whenever you touched. It was like something significant had happened, something you weren’t even aware of and you didn’t question it, if it meant that having Anakin around then you weren’t complaining.

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You Were My Only Hope

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Angstember Prompt - “For what it’s worth, I never gave up on you."

You had been on your own for a long time now, floating through the galaxy and never staying in one place long enough for anybody to know you, hiding your identity and shutting yourself off from the Force completely whilst trying to push through each lonely day without focusing on the emptiness around you.

Obi-Wan had long since taken off, exiling himself to Tatooine to look after the boy, Anakin’s boy. Some days you almost caved and went to the planet but you weren’t quite sure either you or Obi-Wan were prepared to face your past life just yet. The two of you weren’t the same people you had been all those years ago, Anakin’s downfall and death had taken something from both of you that hadn’t yet been replaced.

You had loved Anakin, had loved him more dearly than anything else. You had been praised for how well you followed the Jedi Code but it wasn’t true, for Anakin Skywalker you broke the Jedi Code everyday even if he never knew. You had known he had a relationship with Padmé, though you hadn’t quite known the extent of it, had no idea they were married, but it didn’t stop you from loving him.

Even though Anakin didn’t love you as you loved him, it didn’t mean he didn’t love you in his own way. The two of you had grown up alongside each other in the Temple, you were Anakin’s first and best friend. Whilst Obi-Wan wasn’t actually your Master, he had been in every sense of the word other than officially. You had spent more time training with him and Anakin than you had your own Master and if the Jedi allowed a Master to take on more than one Padawan you knew Obi-Wan would have happily accepted you as his own alongside Anakin. Over the years you became everything to each other, something closer than friends and somehow more intimate than lovers, there hadn’t been anything the two of you didn’t share with each other, at least you’d thought there were no secrets between you right up until Anakin’s fall.

Seeing the destruction he had caused, the death of Padmé, leaving the bodies of children behind in the Temple, helping with the murder of Jedi across the galaxy and making sure that the few who had escaped had bounties on their heads forever, turned your stomach. You knew that if you had had the chance all those years ago you would have done anything to change it, would have given up everything so long as Anakin kept his light.

There was nothing you could do though, Anakin was dead, Obi-Wan had pulled you aside shortly after Padmé had given birth to the children and tearfully told you what had happened on Mustafar, told you that Anakin was gone. The two of you held each other, knowing that nothing would be the same again and you hadn’t stopped the tears that poured from your eyes, soaking the cloak Obi-Wan wore.

From that day on you had been lost, jumping from one planet to the other and it was only when you came across a group of Inquisitors that you were glad you had been running, glad you had shut yourself off from the Force. You had hidden yourself in the shadows, easily blending in with the sketchy figures around you as one of the Inquisitors Force choked a Jedi they had found. You knew this was common, any Jedi found was to be killed, the Empire wouldn’t rest until they were. You had grown numb to it, had seen it happen too many times, in the early years you had wanted to react, wanted to help the Jedi but you knew that meant exposing yourself and you couldn’t do it.

“Where is Y/F/N Y/L/N?” One of the Inquisitors snarled and you felt your eyes go wide and forced yourself to swallow against the sudden lump in your throat.

You knew the Empire was looking for Obi-Wan for whatever reason, over the years you had heard whispers of his name but nobody had found where he was yet, only a few people knew that information and none of you would ever betray Obi-Wan.

The question was, why were they looking for you?

Ever since you’d overheard that conversation you had cut down your time spent on a single planet, making sure to keep your face covered whenever you had to be surrounded by people and kept your head down. You had dodged many Inquisitors in the past few months and again the urge to go to Obi-Wan for help was strong, the urge to reconnect with the Force and call out to Obi-Wan but you never did.

Instead you ran and you hid and you didn’t talk to anybody that wasn’t necessary. You were good but there was only so much you could do without the Force to help you, for it to warn you when danger was near. It didn’t surprise you nearly as much as it should have when you rounded a corner and saw your little shack in the middle of nowhere surrounded by Inquisitors, a ship not too far away.

Without your own lightsaber it really wasn’t a fair fight and it wasn’t long before you were being marched into the ship, a collar around your throat to cut you off from the Force despite you having done that yourself many years ago.

You didn’t say anything though, just let them shove along, rolling your eyes as they gloated about catching you before you were being pushed into a small, dark room. The door shut behind you and you were glad to be separated from the troopers and Inquisitors, if only to be rid of their constant taunting that was nothing more than an annoyance.

You had no idea where you were being taken, you could feel the ship moving and you could feel it making the shift to hyperspace. You spent the journey sitting on the floor, legs crossed as you let your mind wander. Even as a Padawan you had struggled to mediate, your Master hadn’t had the patience to teach you after repeated failures but Obi-Wan was more than happy to sit opposite you and guide you through it no matter how long it took. Mediating without being surrounded by the Force felt pointless but you still tried, if only to pass the time.

At some point your peace was disturbed as the door opened and you opened one eye to see a female Inquisitor enter the room alone. You regarded her for a second longer before letting your eye fall shut again, not giving her a reaction. She waited for the door to shut before she spoke.

“Anakin Skywalker has been waiting a very long time for you.” She told you and you couldn’t hide your reaction.

Your eyes shot open, staring openly at the woman in front of you in shock as your back stiffened with her words.

“What did you just say?” You asked, voice low and cold.

“You heard m-” She started to say but cut herself off, staring back at you for a moment before letting out a laugh, one that showed just how much she enjoyed having some sort of power over you as a smirk spread across her face. “You don’t know.”

“Know what? What do you know of Anakin?” You asked, not having pieced together what she knew.

“You don’t know,” She repeated, glee written on her face as she continued, “You don’t know what became of him.”

“He died.” You said through gritted teeth, annoyed at whatever tactic she was playing.

“Oh no, Y/N. Anakin Skywalker didn’t die, Anakin Skywalker is Darth Vader.”

Your blood ran cold at her words, your head already shaking in disbelief because that was impossible. You hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting Vader but when one travelled the galaxy as much as you did you heard the stories. There was no way that was Anakin, no way.

“You really didn’t know.” She murmured, pulling you out of your thoughts and glaring at the smirk that was still on her face. “I guess you are right, your sweet Anakin Skywalker is long gone, Darth Vader is who remains.”

With those words she turned to leave the room, leaving you with that bombshell as you tried to sort your thoughts out. There was no way Obi-Wan knew, he would have told you. He, like you, believed Anakin had died on Mustafar but clearly he had received help, something had happened after Obi-Wan left with Padmé.

Even knowing what you knew about Vader you had to believe that Anakin was still in there somewhere, buried deep down under Darkness. Had you known he was still alive you wouldn’t have wasted years running around the galaxy, you would have done anything you could to bring him back to you.

For the first time since you had shut yourself off from it you wished you could connect with the Force.

It wasn’t long after that you felt the ship land, the doors to your cell were sliding open and two Inquisitors flanked by a handful of troopers were revealed. One of the Inquisitors wrapped their hand around your arm and dragged you along, the other gripping your other arm once you were close to him. You let them lead you through the ship and it took a good few minutes before you arrived in front of two heavy looking doors.

Upon seeing you and the Inquisitors, as well as the troopers who had followed you, the trooper standing guard opened the doors and you were shoved forward. You kept a bored look on your face but it was quickly replaced by a sad look as you saw Darth Vader standing in the room.

That couldn’t be Anakin and yet even without the Force to guide you, you had a feeling in the pit of your stomach, one that turned you cold, that the Inquisitor hadn’t been lying.  

“Leave us.” Vader ordered, his voice modified through the suit, sounding nothing like Anakin.

The Inquisitors and troopers left the room and the door fell shut behind them leaving you alone with Vader. You stood tall, a neutral look masking the pain and sadness you felt, staring into the helmet of Darth Vader.

“You have been difficult to find.” He told you and you couldn’t help but smirk, you had only become aware of the fact that the Empire was after you a few months ago, you wondered just how long you’d had a bounty on your head. “I have you now and you will tell me where Kenobi is hiding.”

You struggled to keep your mask in place, struggled not to let it show how painful it was hearing the hate filter through the mask. How had things fallen apart so badly, how had Anakin Skywalker, the person who had never failed to give you hope all throughout the clone wars, the person who you only ever saw the best in, fallen so hard? How could that boy who looked up to Obi-Wan, who had loved him dearly, not even bring himself to say his name? Only able to spit it out like it was poison.

Where had it all gone wrong?

“It’s really you then isn’t it?” You asked him, despite your neutral face your voice betrayed you, quivering slightly before you forced yourself to take a breath. “I didn’t want to believe her when she said you were Anakin but it’s you isn’t it?”

“Don’t use that name!” He spat, one arm raised with a clenched fist and you found yourself  a few feet in the air, Vader cutting off your breath as he Forced choked you.

It was child's play, you could handle being Forced choked, Anakin knew it as well as you did. You had been through worse during the years of the Clone Wars, suffered worse things than a choking. The Clone Wars had been tough, you’d been kidnapped more times than you could count, tortured even more, Anakin had been by your side throughout it all, you both knew this was nothing.

“Skywalker was weak, he was useless.” Vader said as he stopped choking you and you just about stayed upright as you were dropped to the floor.

“Anakin was never weak and he was far from useless. He was the bravest person I have ever met, he inspired loyalty, he was a hero.” You said, stressing the last word as you gave Vader a look of distaste. “Can you say the same about yourself?”

“You abandoned him, left him to die. Don’t speak to me about loyalty.” Vader snarled and even without the Force you could feel his anger, his pain and frustration.

You had to believe there was more than that there though, that there was some light no matter how small and dim, there had to be.

Anakin couldn’t just be gone.

For years you had lived thinking he had died, alone and in pain, left behind by Obi-Wan. You hadn’t blamed Obi-Wan, you had had years to dwell on it, years to run it through your head and knew full well that if you were in the man's shoes you wouldn’t have been able to kill Anakin either.

Even now as you stood before the darkest and most twisted version of Anakin, knew of all the pain and horror he had inflicted on the galaxy, even now you knew full well if you had the chance you wouldn’t be able to kill him.

You could practically see Master Yoda in your mind, shaking his head in disappointment as he spoke about attachments.

“Abandoned you?” You asked, shaking your own head as you stared at him in disbelief. “I thought you were dead. If I had known, if I had even had an inkling that you were alive, believe me I would have found you myself. I would have done everything I could to break through all the darkness surrounding you.”

“You expected me to believe that?” He scoffed and you glared at him. It was hard talking to him like this, not just because of the anger and the hatred but because of the helmet. Anakin had always been so expressive, his every emotion played out on his face but now the man hid behind the helmet.

“You know I’m not lying.” You told him and he remained silent for a few moments.

“There was a place for you at my side, there still is a place for you.” He told you suddenly, voice quiet but firm and you felt your eyes widen, there was no way he thought you would ever turn to the Dark Side but then again you had once believed he would never fall. “All you have to do is tell me where Kenobi is.”

“You know I would never betray Obi-Wan, Anakin.” You told him and watched as he took a step closer to you, towering over you but you forced yourself to meet the helmet.

“I am not Anakin.” He told you, anger clear in his tone and you couldn’t help the sad smile that pulled at your lips.

“You will always be Anakin Skywalker to me.” You said softly before you were slammed into a wall by the Force, Vader doing nothing more than pinning you against it. “And for what it’s worth, I never gave up on you. No matter how lost you are, no matter how far you stray from everything you once believed in, I never gave up on you, not when I saw what had become of the Padawans, not when the order was given for the Clones to kill us. I still believe in Anakin Skywalker.”

Vader stayed silent, the only sound in the room was that of his breathing, heavy through the helmet. You knew you were pushing it, knew this was a dangerous game but you didn’t care, you had to know if Anakin was still there, still believed in the man you had once known, the man you had spent every day loving.

“You are loyal to a dead man.” He told you finally and you felt your eyes close, desperately trying to think of a way to push through the Darkness. “It makes you weak.”

“Lucky for me then because the man I believe in isn’t dead, I know it. The man who held me when my Master was killed, the man who snuck me out of the Temple in the middle of the night because I wanted to see the celebrations, the man who took more beatings and hits than he needed to just so I didn’t get hurt, the man who helped me see the Light when everything seemed so dark during the war. That is the man I believe in and that is the man I know to be alive, to be within you no matter how deeply you have tried to bury him.” You told him, voice shaking and tears filling your eyes but you forced them back, not letting them fall.

This wasn’t about you, this was about bringing Anakin back.

“You can’t tell me this is the life you wanted Anakin. You’re nothing more than Palpatine’s weapon, he ripped everything from you; Padmé, your child, Obi-Wan and me. And for what, Anakin? What did you get out of it that was worth losing everyone?” You keep your voice soft, watching as his fist clenched at his side and you wished so badly you could see his face.

“None of that matters now.” Vader said after a moment of silence and you hated how you couldn’t hear his real voice, how his emotions were hidden through the helmet, robotic and stoic and not giving away anything. “The man you knew is gone, accept it and give up your weak and foolish hope of his return.”

You shook your head, refusing to do as he said. No matter what happened on this ship, even if he killed you, you would die knowing that Anakin was still in there, that one day, maybe not any time soon, Anakin would break through the Darkness surrounding him. Maybe he would break through himself, maybe he would eventually find Obi-Wan hidden away on Tatooine and Obi-Wan would be the one to break through. It didn’t matter how it happened, all that mattered was that you truly believed it would.

“I will never give up hope for Anakin Skywalker.” You told him, standing straighter and looking at the helmet, his anger and annoyance clear even without the Force helping up and the helmet covering him.

“Enough.” He said, using the Force to lift you off the ground again back still pressed against the wall. “I have grown tired of listening to you talk about a dead man, your pathetic attachment to him makes you weak. You could have joined me, Y/N, you could have joined me. Instead you keep your loyalties to a man long dead and a man who will die at my hands.”

Even though you’d been through worse pain, worse torture, suddenly this felt like the most painful thing you had ever experience, the worst kind of pain imaginable, a type of pain that made you cold and empty inside. There was no fear but something shifted around the two of you and you could practically see the thick Darkness clinging to Anakin.

You knew he was so far into it, knew the chances of you leaving this alive were slim to none and yet somehow you weren’t scared. The thing you felt most was your absolute heartbreak as you faced what had become of the man you loved but you knew he’d come back.

He had to.

“You have tested my patience long enough,” He snarled, stepping closer until there was no distance between you. “Now, you will tell me where Kenobi is!”

As he spoke he raised his hand, stopping you from taking breaths and you could feel his phantom grip tightening on you with each second. You stared at him, stared into the helmet that hid his face from you and knew you were going to die but you were not going to die betraying Obi-Wan or Anakin’s children.

“Anakin,” You choked out, voice a broken whisper as you felt yourself getting lightheaded, “I know you’re still in there, I know you can hear me even if you’re not ready to right now.” It was hard to speak, throat closed up and his grip only got tighter with your words. “I know this isn’t you, it can’t be, not after everything. You will find your way back one day, I know you will and you have to know, even with whatever happens today, I never gave up on you.” Your vision was going bleary as you forced yourself to stay conscious. “I love you, Anakin Skywalker, always have, always believed in you.”

Your words were barely audible at the end, his grip on your throat too tight to breath by now and the last thing you saw before your vision blacked out was the helmet of Vader, emotionless and betraying nothing as you choked out something unintelligible before letting your eyes fall closed.

Vader let go of you, let your body fall to the ground. He walked away, desperately trying to ignore the feeling deep inside of him, buried under a mountain of Darkness, that felt guilty, felt heartbroken and angry. Your final words were a declaration of love, a promise that you had always believed in him.

He stormed out of the room, fists clenched at his side as he forced down that part of him, the part that was Anakin Skywalker, no matter how much he denied it. You had been right, not that he would ever admit it but Anakin Skywalker had always been there, a weakness to Vader. He had thought he had destroyed every bit of Anakin Skywalker, thought he had rid himself of such a weakness but then you had come along and reignited the tiny bit of Light in him that he had never been able to kill.

But now you were dead and there was nobody left in the whole galaxy that believed in him. You were dead by his hands and even though your dying words would never leave Vader’s mind, no matter how much he tried to forget them, there was no hope left in the galaxy for him.

That hope had lived and died with you.

________

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@heyitsaloy​, @f-sant​

Silent Suffering

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Angstember Prompt - Crying into somebody's chest

Pairings - Obi-Wan Kenobi & Reader, Anakin Skywalker & Reader (can be read as pre Anakin x Reader too!)

Despite having your own Master you still found yourself spending most of your time in the company of Master Obi-Wan Kenobi and his Padawan Anakin Skywalker. More often than not you accompanied Anakin to his lessons with Obi-Wan, whether it be lightsaber training or mediation. 

The training a Padawan undertook was long and gruelling, days seemed to drag as you were taught the ways of the Jedi. Your Master was a cold man, he lacked the patience needed to train a Padawan which led to him snapping at you whenever you were made to train with him. Obi-Wan, however, was everything a Jedi Master should be, where you struggled to mediate, to shut your mind off to any and every outside distraction, your Master would snap and push you without proper guidance, Obi-Wan was the exact opposite. You still remembered the first time you’d mediated in front of him, how much you had struggled to do what came easily to most Jedi and you fully expected Obi-Wan to lose his temper with you, only to be shocked when he sat down in front of you and spoke, his words soft and gentle as he guided you and for the first time ever you felt yourself fall into that peaceful state easily. 

From there you had been eager to learn under Obi-Wan’s guidance. Compared to Anakin you felt your training was far behind despite the fact the two of you had started training at the same age though you hadn’t met until a few years later when your Master’s had been sent on a mission together with the instruction to bring their Padawan’s along.  

It was from that mission on you had become a permanent attachment to their duo, spending time with them even if it did take you a while to open up to them. The kindness they both showed you was such a stark contrast to how your Master treated you that you couldn’t help but stick with them.

Obi-Wan had wondered whether he should put a stop to how involved in their lives you were becoming. When you started joining Anakin’s lessons he had debated over what to do but Anakin seemed to like the challenge of a new opponent, one whose moves he couldn’t predict as well as he could his Master’s so Obi-Wan let you stay until he became as attached to you as he was his own Padawan. Watching as you grew in your training, how you seemed to thrive under his gentle guidance and encouraging words and sought out his advice on how you could improve made his heart warm and he knew that he wasn’t going to put a stop to you joining them.

Throughout the years Obi-Wan had tried to talk to you about your Master, about why you seemed behind in your training and more inclined to let Obi-Wan teach you. Each time you gave a vague answer, one that never answered his question before quickly changing the subject or darting off somewhere before he had the chance to ask you more questions. 

Anakin had also asked you about your Master, never having heard much about him. Anakin could never imagine training under another Master when he had Obi-Wan and knew that something wasn’t right between you and yours but as you did with Obi-Wan you did with Anakin and did your best to avoid answering the question. 

As the years went by and you got older your Master’s outbursts seemed to become more frequent and less justified. Some days he would yell at you when you weren’t training, when the Council sent you on missions together. You and your Master had never particularly gotten along well but the last couple of years had been worse than when you were a child.

You ignored it though, content to find comfort from Anakin and Obi-Wan, content to hide away with them when things became too much. You knew both men knew something was wrong but you had refused to talk about it and over time they didn’t ask as much as they used to, knowing full well you weren’t ready to talk about it yet.

One morning you found yourself in a training room, Obi-Wan walked around you and Anakin as you both duelled against the other. Years ago it was a challenge, neither one of you could predict the other's next move, the next step but now after years spent at each other’s side, being taught by the same Master it was easy to see four moves ahead. 

That didn’t mean the two of you went easy on each other, if anything it meant the two of you were more cocky, riskier in the moves you made and by the time the doors to the training room opened the two of you had worked up at sweat, panting as you grinned at each other as Anakin managed to get you on the ground with his lightsaber pointed at you.

“Alright, that's quite enough you two.” Obi-Wan told you with a smile.

Anakin holstered the lightsaber and reached a hand down for you, your grin still firmly in place as you slipped your hand into his and let him pull you up.

“Don’t worry, Y/N/N, one of these days you’ll beat me.” Anakin told you, his entire face lit up as he threw an arm around your shoulder and pulled you into him.

“Please,” you scoffed, letting yourself enjoy the closeness before playfully pushing him away, “I was just going easy on you.”

“Padawan,” A cold voice from the doorway said, causing you to flinch slightly, an action that didn’t go unnoticed by Obi-Wan or Anakin. “We are being sent to aid the clones.”

You had to force your feet to move, to follow your Master out of the room, forced yourself to ignore the worry you felt coming from the two Jedi left behind in the training room. The air was tense as you followed him into the craft and even more so once you were up in the air and he turned his cold gaze towards you.

“Spending time with Kenobi and the Skywalker child again, Padawan?” He snarled and you barely suppressed a shiver.

This was the cause of many arguments and despite how much you dreaded your Master’s temper you would take any anger he directed your way so long as you could seek comfort from Obi-Wan and Anakin. You knew it wasn’t the fact you were so close to the two that angered your Master, though it certainly didn’t help matters, but it was an easy thing for him to target, an excuse for him to actually be angry at you.

You had no idea what you had done to cause so much hatred from your Master, since you were a child he had never had a nice word to say towards you. You remembered being so young, so upset that he seemed to hate you and tried so hard, did everything right, to get him to like you.

Nowadays you had accepted your Master’s anger, accepted you would never find the reason for it and stopped trying to please him, stopped seeking out his approval. You suspected Obi-Wan had a large part to play in your acceptance, the man was the complete opposite of your Master and where your Master shot you harsh words and hateful glares, Obi-Wan easily countered it with kind touches and soft words. 

And then there was Anakin.

Anakin wasn’t foolish, he could see that you and your Master didn’t get on and though he had questioned but never pushed the matter, he had become an expert in reading you. He always seemed to know exactly when you needed him, was always there with a shoulder to cry on and distractions that often pulled the two of you into some kind of mischief that Obi-Wan never scolded you too much for because he too could see when things had gotten bad.

You loved being a Jedi, loved helping people and saving them but some days you wondered what would have become of you had you not met Obi-Wan and Anakin. Would you have stayed with the Jedi or would you have left the Order many moons ago? You believed you would have left, if you hadn’t had Obi-Wan and Anakin’s kindness to counteract your Master’s harshness. You truly didn’t think you could survive the years spent as a Padawan, not without the Dark Side spreading through you until you were consumed by it .

“Stupid girl wasting your time with those two, though I suppose I cannot expect much better from someone so foolish.” Your Master spoke, pulling you away from your thoughts and bringing your attention back to him.

You barely suppressed a sigh but knew if you let it escape you’d be done for. The words you could take but if he ever saw signs of you fighting back against him, even something as little as a sigh or squaring your shoulders back, you knew that the consequences would be bad. 

It was a lesson you had learnt the hard way and your side still burned from where the Force lightning had been directed.

Instead you sat there, still as a statue and watched as one of the clones announced your Master was needed elsewhere. Once he had left the room you let yourself relax and looked towards the clone, Daar, and shot him a grateful look, smiling as he nodded back at you.

You were close to many of the troopers and knew that they saw how your Master treated you, he didn’t hide it around them, not when he could order them to stay silent and they couldn’t disobey him. A few had offered to though, they had come directly to you and told you they would gladly disobey orders if you asked them to. You had smiled at that but each time had told them to do as your Master said, no point the clones being punished when you could take what your Master gave.

The rest of the trip was blessedly silent, the clones coming up with a reason to keep your Master in another section of the craft and it wasn’t long before you were landing. 

The entire mission was a mess, that was the only word for it. Your orders were to protect both the people and the Senator but your Master seemed to only hear the last part of those orders as he laid out his plan that willingly sacrificed the people of the planet to get the Senator away safely.

The people were starving, held captive by the droid army and from your position you could see many slaughtered innocents. You grimanced before turning back to your Master as he spoke, your eyes wide as you listened to him, he was not a kind man but this was extreme even for him. How he was a member of the Jedi order, a Jedi Master, was completely beyond you.

“We can’t let him do this.” You told Daar as your Master left the craft, lightsaber already out as he and some clones fought droids in order to make it to the palace.

“What do you suggest we do instead?” Daar asked and all the remaining clones turned towards you, each of them waiting for orders from somebody who did not have the authority to give them but all of them willing to follow them no matter what.

You stood silently for a moment, shocked at how the troopers didn’t hesitate to turn to you, to let you give the orders but then a smile broke out on your face and you nodded. Nothing good would come from this for you, you would be punished both by the Council and privately by your Master but you refused to just let the people of this city die for no reason, not when you could save them.

“Out here we only have the droid army in our way, let Master deal with whatever member of the Empire is holding the Senator captive. You think we can get the people out?” You asked Daar and he shot you a grin as he nodded.

“Course we can, right boys?” He asked and the troopers gave a cheer causing your smile to widen.

From outside the craft you could see your Master had made progress with the droid blocking the entrance to the palace, his gaze turning back towards you and calling for more clones.

With a final glance at all the troopers, your gaze landed on Daar who gave you a softer smile and nodded causing you to nod back. The troopers put their helmets on and you all left the craft, you spared a final glance back as you all made your way in the opposite direction to see your Master’s furious glare towards you.

The droids seemed to multiply, for everyone you took down five more appeared. The troopers were fairing no better and there were a number of casualties but eventually you fought your way to where the citizens were being held. It took some effort to free them as droids fought back and you had to deal with your Master yelling every hateful word and threat he could think of through the comms but eventually the droids were down and stopped coming and you ushered the people towards your ships.

Your Master and the Senator, as well as the people who had been trapped in the palace with him, all stood around the crafts and you ignored your Master as you passed him, thankful when Daar put himself between the two of you so he couldn’t grab you and began handing out the food rations you had brought with you.

You tried to drag it out for as long as possible but eventually you had to leave. Boarding the ship, your heart was in your throat and anxiety pulsed through your veins, you waited for your Master to dole out whatever punishment he saw fit but it never came and that only made you more scared.

Daar noticed your anxiety and sat down next to you ignoring the glare your Master sent towards the two of you and patted you knee gently.

“You did go out there today.” He told you, the words quiet but the genuineness of them was clear and you couldn’t help the smile that pulled at your lips.

“Thank you,” you said, keeping your voice just as quiet, “I’m just glad we were able to save everybody.”

The trip back to Coruscant didn’t take too long, something you both hated and were grateful for. You weren’t foolish enough to believe you could slip away before your Master got a hold of you, knew what was to come but still once the ship landed you tried to leave as quickly as possible.

“Not so fast, Padawan.” Your Master snarled, his hand reaching over to wrap around your bicep, grip so tightly you winced and knew bruises would form but they would be the least of your worries after he was done with you. 

You could see the troopers behind him, could see Daar take a step forward but you shook your head as discreetly as you could, watching him step back reluctantly.

“Come with me.” The tone of the man’s voice was low and harsh as he dragged you away from onlookers.

It wouldn’t be long until you were called before the Jedi Council, your Master had already given the briefing through holocomm, but it was enough time for him to pull you into his quarters, far away from any witnesses and leave you crying out, withering on the floor as you felt the lightning produced by the Force spreading and burning your body, sweat pouring from you as you tried to fight against it but it was useless as you were pinned down by the Force.

Your Master gave you enough time to go to your chambers to clean up, tears and sobs leaving you as you tried to pull burnt fabric from the burns and covered it in as much bacta salve as you could.

You cupped water into your hands before splashing it across your face, desperate to hide evidence of what had happened. Despite it though you didn’t regret your actions, so many people were alive because of you and you would gladly go through that a thousand times if it meant they were safe.

Your Master showed up at your door and grabbed your arm again, dragging you down to where the Council members were gathered. He stopped abruptly outside the door and pressed his hand into where he had burned causing you to wince and bite back a sob.

“If you know what’s good for you you’ll keep your mouth shut.” He warned before standing up tall, a friendly look spreading across his face as he entered the room and greeted the members of the Council, you following behind and keeping your gaze down.

As you stood there you had to fight down protests, felt the anger rise in you as your Master painted a picture completely different to what had happened. As he told them his plan was to save the Senator before helping the citizens but you had jeopardised the entire mission as well as the lives of all the innocent people and the Senator’s to prove yourself. 

The pain in your side made it unbearable to stand but the hatred you felt in your veins, a deep anger you had never felt before made it hard to keep your mouth shut. How dare he, how dare he say you needed to prove yourself! It had never been about that, you only wanted to help people, you didn’t care if the Jedi Council took notice of your actions so long as the people who needed your aid were safe.

Once he was finished you finally looked up and came face to face with a sea of disappointed looks. The only person who didn’t look disappointed was Obi-Wan, instead he had a small furrow in between his brows as he looked between Master and Padawan, seeing something the others weren’t.

“A common occurrence, this is becoming.” Master Yoda said and your jaw clenched under the effort to stay silent. Of course the Council member’s thought you disobeying orders was a regular thing because no matter what you did your Master always, always, found a way to make it seem so. 

You managed to keep quiet, staring straight ahead, knowing that any attempt to counter your Master’s story would only end badly for you. The burning pains in your sides only reminded you of that, reminded you of what your Master was capable of.

“To add, have you anything?” Master Yoda asked you and it took every ounce of strength you had to not fall to your knees before the Council and beg with them to help you, to protest your Master’s fabrications, to show them what he did to you but you knew it would amount to nothing, your Master had taught you that long ago that Master’s could give out whatever punishment they saw fit.

As you shook your head you felt your anger spike again, though it seemed impossible that it could do so. From your side you could practically feel your Master’s smugness coming from him in waves.

The room stayed silent for a moment and you took the opportunity to look at Obi-Wan, his eyes already looking back at you. You watched as the man’s face softened though you could practically see how fast his thoughts were running as he knew something was wrong.

Obi-Wan had known for a long time something was not right. For years you had been by his side, he had watched you grow from a small, shy little thing into the young woman you were now. He had trained you, had brought you onto his missions with Anakin and watched you thrive under his guidance. He rarely got the chance to see you with your Master but the times he did, especially now, the person you were around him was not the person Obi-Wan knew. 

“Archive security, you shall do.” Master Yoda announced and Obi-Wan barely suppressed a sigh at Yoda’s choice of punishment, you weren’t going to like this at all.

“Archive security?” You repeated, the words coming out of your mouth without your permission. Your tone was complete disbelief as you stared at the Council member’s, watching as Obi-Wan rubbed at his forehead.

“A problem, you have with this?” Master Yoda asked and yes, yes you did have a problem with this because even though it got you out of missions with your Master it also meant it got you out of missions with Obi-Wan and Anakin and left you behind, alone with your Master.

You were desperate for that not to happen, you couldn’t cope with being around your Master anymore than you had to be. You knew it was a bad idea to argue with the Council, to do something else to anger your Master but still your mouth opened, words ready to fall when Obi-Wan cut you off, probably saving you from a worse punishment.

“Y/N.” He warned, his tone soft and gentle as you turned to look at him.

Obi-Wan shook his head and you silently pleaded with him but knew that even he couldn’t do anything to get you out of this. He had no proof beyond his own doubts and unfortunately that wasn’t solid evidence.

Oh stars, he thought to himself as he looked at your wide eyes, why won’t she just tell me what’s happening so I can help?

“No problem, Master Yoda, forgive my outburst.” You apologised robotically, hands clenched at your sides as you listened to Master Yoda dismiss you.

You bowed towards them, side burning at the movement and you barely choked back a sob at the pain but made your way out of the room.

You stood outside the Council doors, cursing the face that you were forced to remain here, alone without the two people you cared most for, the two people who made your Master’s actions easier to deal with. You longed to tell them about the burns covering your body but Master’s could do as they saw fit to punish their Padawan and you knew they would only turn you away.

“Y/N,” Obi-Wan called softly as he slipped from the room.  

Your head shot up to look at the man and you couldn’t help but let your thoughts run. Obi-Wan wouldn’t turn you away, right? In all the time you’d known him you had never seen him harm Anakin, no matter how badly his Padawan messed up. Perhaps if you told him, maybe he wouldn’t disagree with your Master’s way of dealing with you but maybe would help you patch yourself up.

Obi-Wan gave you a kind smile as he gestured for you to walk with him, each step sending a new wave of pain through your body.

“What really happened out there?” He asked softly as the two of you walked side by side.

You stayed silent for the longest time, thoughts running wild as you debated whether to tell Obi-Wan what was happening. You trusted Obi-Wan more than anybody, knew his kindness better than most and by the time the two of you arrived at his quarters you still hadn’t made a decision.

Obi-Wan let you remain silent, he could see the thoughts in your head, could see the frown on your face as you battled over what you could tell him. He could see the exhaustion coming from you, could see your anger and how you were ready to let it out. He hoped he could help, hoped you would finally tell him what happened behind closed doors.

The man let you through the doors first before following after you and gesturing you over to the sofa, raising his eyebrow as you grimanced whilst sitting.

“I wish you had been my Master.” You finally spoke after a long period of silence, the words so quiet Obi-Wan would have missed them if he wasn’t sitting so close to you. 

“As do I, young one.” He told you, taking your hand in yours and giving it a gentle, encouraging squeeze.

At his words, your eyes filled with tears, the exhaustion and pain and anger you felt all became too much suddenly as the tears fell down your cheeks one after the other, your breaths coming out as shaky sobs.

Obi-Wan’s own eyes widened at the sudden onset of tears but he didn’t hesitate to comfort you. He pulled you softly against his chest and you willingly went, hand gripping his cloak as he held the back of your head, running his fingers soothingly through your hair. 

The tears refused to slow and you stayed buried against Obi-Wan’s chest for a long time, the man's arms around you, holding you in place as he murmured gentle words of comfort, not rushing you to calm down but allowing you to work through it.

He could tell you had been holding onto these emotions for a long time, the tears coming from you ached his heart and he wanted nothing more than to wrap you up and keep you far away from your Master who was no doubt the cause of all of this. 

He didn’t let his own anger show, didn’t want you to think he was upset with you at all. It was rare for Obi-Wan to feel such anger, he liked to think by now he had a pretty good grip on his emotions but listening to you, your tears soaking his robes as you sobbed into his chest, he couldn’t feel much but anger.

At some point the tears subsided into sniffles, your eyes red and blood stained after crying for so long. Obi-Wan felt your breathing even out and thought you had fallen asleep, especially as you cuddled further into his chest but then you began speaking.

“I only wanted to save them.” You told Obi-Wan, your voice croaky from sobbing uncontrollably but also emotionless, “He was going to let them all die and I wanted to save them.”

“I believe you.” Obi-Wan told you and the honesty in his voice had you letting out a shaky breath.

“He punishes me,” You said, eyes falling closed as you forced yourself to keep talking, “it doesn’t matter what I do, he always finds a reason to punish me. Some days he doesn’t even need a reason.”

Obi-Wan’s own eyes fell closed as he dreaded your next words but asked anyway.

“How does he punish you, young one?” 

You were silent again and Obi-Wan, despite not wanting to hear the answer, needed to. He needed to know so he knew exactly how bad things had got, so he knew just how to help you.

“He uses the Force, uses lightning.” You said, the words bringing on a fresh set of tears but you kept them trapped behind your eyelids, pushing your face further into Obi-Wan’s chest.

Obi-Wan felt his heart stop at your answer, his blood running cold as mental images filled his head of you being burned with Force lightning. How had he never noticed? His grip tightened on you, his arms holding you closer but at your wince he pulled away like he himself had been burned.

“Y/N,” He said, the word so soft as he looked at you. You didn’t let him say anything else, you’d come this far you might as well go further and with that you pulled your cloak away and lifted your shirt enough for Obi-Wan to see the fresh burns as well as the old ones.

Obi-Wan gasped, his hand moving to touch the fresh one before pausing. There was fabric that seemed to have melted into your skin and he winced as he continued to stare. He had seen a lot of injuries in his lifetime but that had to be up there with some of the worst.

“Y/N,” He breathed out, his gaze shifting from your burns to your face, silent tears making their way down as you let your shirt cover them again.

Obi-Wan reached over to wipe at your cheeks, moving towards you and placing his lips to your forehead, letting them linger there before he pulled away.

“We have to inform the Council.” He told you softly and you looked at him, shaking your head but he cut you off before you could speak. “Y/N, he cannot be allowed to stay, what he has done to you is-” Obi-Wan cut himself off, not having the words to describe the pain inflicted onto you.

“Master’s can punish Padawan’s however they want.” You told them, the words were void of emotion and almost robotic, like you were repeating words you’d been told for years and Obi-Wan didn’t doubt that.

“No they cannot.” He told you, voice firm and you looked at him with wide eyes. “How many times has Anakin messed up since being my Padawan? I’ve lost count and I have never inflicted pain upon him. He gets a scolding and if the Council sees a harsher punishment is needed they will see to it but never would it be something that would harm the Padawan.” 

The words made your eyes water even more as you felt foolish, of course you should have known that.

“Don’t be so harsh on yourself, he made you believe something for a very long time. He manipulated you into keeping this pain a secret. You are not to blame, I promise you the Council will see that too.” Obi-Wan told you and you nodded, tears sliding down your face again and you wrapped your arms around him and cuddled into his chest again.

Obi-Wan held you close whilst making sure he wasn’t hurting you and swore he would see to it that your Master was dealt with. 

Anakin walked into his Master’s chambers after roaming the Temple looking for you after hearing about what had happened on your latest mission and stopped just inside the doorway as he took in the scene of you sobbing into Obi-Wan’s chest.

You hadn’t heard Anakin enter the room but Obi-Wan did and he glanced up at Anakin with a sad smile as he held you. He was glad Anakin was here, he wanted to keep you out of this meeting though he knew the Council would want to speak to you, he wondered if perhaps any of the clones had seen anything and would be willing to speak up about it.

He gestured for Anakin to come closer and you jumped when you felt Anakin sit beside you, relaxing when you saw it was him.

“I know archive security is boring but that’s a lot of tears.” Anakin said softly and you couldn’t stop the choked laugh that escaped you causing the two men to smile.

“I have to speak with the Council,” Obi-Wan told the two of you and you turned to look at him with fear shining in your eyes. From behind you he could see Anakin’s questioning look but just shook his head. “If you want to be there whilst I tell them you can be but it’s completely your decision.”

“I’ll stay with Anakin.” You told him softly, sniffing as you rubbed at your eyes. “You can tell him.” You allowed, gesturing to Anakin as you leaned back into Obi-Wan, even more exhausted than you had been before.

You listened as Obi-Wan filled Anakin in on what he had missed, listening with a small smile as Anakin fumed on your behalf, threatening to go and deal with your Master himself but Obi-Wan assured him it would be dealt with and that his only job was to look after you whilst he spoke to the Council.

That seemed to calm Anakin down and he nodded, sitting back down next to you and letting Obi-Wan transfer you from his arms to Anakin’s, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead before he stood and readjusted his cloak. 

“You know where I’ll be if you need me.” Obi-Wan said before he turned to leave the room.

Anakin looked down at you as you lay on his chest and smiled softly. He wished Obi-Wan would allow him to deal with your Master but knew you needed him more. 

“Come on.” Anakin said, nudging you up softly being mindful of the injuries Obi-Wan had told him about. He knew sitting on the sofa wouldn’t help your wounds and instead stood, smiling at the soft whine of protest that came from you before you took his offered hand and let him lead you over to the bed.

You had to admit it felt much better to be laying down and as Anakin pulled you back into his arms you couldn’t help but relax, feeling better than you had in a long while. It seemed bizarre that Obi-Wan was going to talk to the Council about this, that it wasn’t normal and the Council were going to have something to say about it. 

It almost felt like a dream, like you’d wake up with your Master standing over you with a smirk on his face.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.” Anakin whispered as he pressed a kiss to your hair and you smiled, hand holding the fabric of his shirt and cuddling further into him.

“You didn’t know.” You whispered back, eyes heavy as they fell closed and you couldn’t find the strength to open them again.

“Nobody will ever hurt you again, I promise.” You were certain that was a promise Anakin couldn’t keep, no matter how hard he tried but you appreciated it all the same. 

Cuddled up in Anakin’s arms, in Obi-Wan’s moments before, felt safe. It was as safe as you had felt for a long time and knowing that the two of them cared so much about you, that they were willing to speak up for you and, in Anakin’s face, threaten the man who had caused you so much harm, had you believing that things would be ok. Once your Master was gone and you had only the two of them you truly believed that, in time, you would be ok.

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Angstember Prompt -  "I thought I might find you here."

When you and Anakin first met you were nothing more than the Senator’s daughter. You knew one day you would have to take your family’s seat in the Senate and dreaded when such a day would arrive. Anakin had heard you complain about it on several occasions, watching you rant as he smiled over at your pacing figure. It never took long for you to calm down once you saw his smile and often ended with you flopping down next to him, your head on his shoulder.

Anakin had been a good friend, brought to your side after several attempts on your life. At first you had resented the Jedi guarding you, insisting it wasn’t necessary but then you had met him, one easy smile was all it took to silence your complaints. 

From there the two of you became fast friends, Anakin taking your protection seriously but he wasn’t stifling like the other bodyguards were. With Anakin he was more than happy to sneak out of your house, more than happy to explore the planet with you so long as you stayed by his side. It wasn’t a shock when you found yourself catching feelings for the young Jedi, you saw him every day and he was always more than kind to you. He treated you like an actual person, somebody who could be joked around with rather than a political ally. 

Even though he treated you normally, he made you feel special. It was in the little things he did, whether it was remembering your order from the little Twi’lek run bakery or knowing when you needed to get away from the palace and getting you out as quickly and discreetly as possible, taking your hand in his and leading you down to the lake on the grounds, the two of you sitting there for hours talking about nothing and everything. 

You let yourself fall further and further in love with the young man even though you knew it would only break your heart. Jedi weren’t allowed to date, they couldn’t form attachments or love others as you wished Anakin could love you. It didn’t matter to you though, you didn’t need Anakin to love you, so long as you had him at your side you could be content with what you had. 

Of course sometimes Anakin was pulled away from you when he was needed for a bigger mission but he always came back and you were always waiting for him. 

There was one particular mission that changed everything for the both of you. 

Anakin hadn’t been able to tell you anything about this mission, not because he wasn’t allowed, which he definitely wasn’t but that never stopped him, but because Obi-Wan commed him in the middle of the night demanding he meet him on another planet and to be prepared for anything. 

You had woken up to Anakin bursting through your door, frantically throwing his robe on and attaching the hilt of his lightsaber to his hip as he explained to you he had to go and would be back soon. 

In his hurried state he pressed a quick kiss to your forehead that had you feeling heat in your cheeks before he left, smiling over his shoulder at you as you called a ‘may the Force be with you’ after him. 

From there, there had been nothing but silence from Anakin for a month and a half. Luckily though you were the daughter of a Senator and if you wanted information it usually wasn’t too hard to get. However, information surrounding the Jedi mission seemed to be on a need to know basis and none of your usual contacts could tell you anything. It didn’t matter though, you had gotten quite used to listening in on conversations, blending into your surroundings so people forgot you were there. 

Anakin and Obi-Wan had been sent on a mission undercover it seemed, from what little you were able to pick up on. Apparently it hadn’t gone well and the man they had been sent for had figured out who they were. 

You took that to mean the worst and after hearing somebody say the Council was worried that they had had no contact with either Jedi your stomach turned sick. It was the longest you had been away from Anakin where you weren’t also able to talk to him and your fear only got worse as the days went by. 

You became more closed off, more and more snappish with people who tried to get you to do your duties. More than once you’d stormed from rooms, uncaring about the scandalised looks, important figures shot you and the embarrassed ones coming from your parents. You barely slept, kept awake at night by terrible dreams of all the things that could be happening to Anakin. You wished more than ever that you had a connection to the Force, wished to have a solid connection in your mind to Anakin like he shared with Obi-Wan so he could tell you where he was, so you could save him like he had saved you more times than you could count. 

You hated feeling so useless, hated that Anakin was out there, trapped on some planet you didn’t even know the name of, with no idea what was happening to him. The only people who knew the full details seemed to be the Jedi Council and they weren’t exactly going to give you any information, no matter how important your parents were. 

More days passed and you were forced into a meeting room, forced to sit in on a Senate meeting between your parents and other Senators from four different planets, you hardly bothered to remember their names. You had no idea what was being discussed, paid no attention and didn’t bother to feign like you were. It didn’t go unnoticed but you missed the looks of disdain from the Senators and the disapproving looks from your parents.

“You will work alongside these people one day,” your father told you once the other Senators left, turning straight to you with a shake of his head. “You have to earn their respect and this attitude is not going to do that. It makes you look like a petulant child. I know you’re worried for your Jedi but that is no excuse for such behaviour.”

You rolled your eyes at his words but couldn’t stop the warm feeling in your chest. Anakin was your Jedi and you had no idea what you would do if he didn't come home to you.

Around the two month mark you were a mess. There wasn't a better word for how you were feeling. With every night that passed the nightmares that plagued you grew worse to the point where you were now on day four of having no sleep. You could barely bring yourself to eat, sick with worry for your Jedi and even the thought of food had your stomach churning. 

One night you woke up panting, sweat pooled on your head as you shot up and clutched the bedsheets. It took you longer than usual to calm down enough that you could breathe properly though your breath still came out shakily.

Unable to sit in your room, you forced yourself out of bed, needing a moment to fight against the shakiness you felt before you slipped into a pair of shoes and threw a robe over yourself. 

Making your way out of the palace was easy enough and without a real destination in mind you found yourself walking the grounds aimlessly, the cold air doing you a world of good. Without meaning to your feet carried you down to the river, body seemingly on autopilot as you were taken to the spot Anakin had found for the two of you long ago. 

It was far enough from the palace that it couldn’t be seen, a giant tree decorated with pink and purple flowers provided shelter from the sun and from anyone who might be nearby. 

It was a beautiful place, one that never failed to calm you. It did the job tonight even if being here sent an ache to your heart. Since discovering this place you had never come here without Anakin and it felt strange to do so now but it also brought you a sense of calm, like you could feel Anakin all around you. 

You wished for his safe return every minute of the day, prayed that the Council would find them and bring Anakin home. Your heart ached for him, your mind filled with words that you had never let yourself speak for fear of him leaving, now wishing he was here to hear every word of it. 

He might not have been able to return your feelings but at least he would know how you felt, he would be able to find peace and warmth in the knowledge that you loved him more than anything in the galaxy, that no matter what you would always be waiting for him. 

Your mind wandered far enough off that you became unaware of your surroundings, unaware of the sun beginning to rise and of the leaves crunching from not far behind you. 

“I thought I might find you here.” A familiar voice, one you had missed for weeks, for months said, causing you to whip your head around so fast it hurt. 

You didn’t say anything for a moment, frozen in place and only able to stare as if it were a ghost before you rather than the Jedi that had come to be yours. 

“Anakin?” You finally managed to force out, voice breaking as tears filled your eyes. 

You were on your feet in a matter of seconds, running straight at Anakin with no warning but it didn’t matter, the Jedi was ready to catch you, arms already open for you. The second you were in his arms, crashing into him so hard he had to take a few steps back just to keep the two of you up, Anakin wrapped you up tightly holding you close to his chest.

You held him back, hands fisting the robes he wore as you buried your face in his chest, tears flowing uncontrollably down your cheeks as you sobbed into him. One of Anakin’s hands shifted to tangle into your hair, holding your head close to him as his other rubbed circles into your back, tears filling his own eyes and some trickling down his cheeks.

“Anakin.” Was all you were able to sob out and Anakin softly shushed you, pressing his lips to the top of your head and letting them rest there, not pulling away from you.

“It’s alright sweetheart, I’m here, I’m back.” Anakin murmured into your hair and you grip tightened on his robes as another sob left you, Anakin continuing to whisper soft reassurances until your sobs finally turned into sniffles and gasps for breath.

“I was so scared.” You whispered into his chest and had you not literally been wrapped around each other he would have missed the words. “I was terrified of what had happened to you.” 

“Look at me,” He said, pulling back only far enough so that he could rest his forehead on yours, the hand in your hair moving to cup your cheek. “I’m ok. I’m so sorry, it was supposed to be an easy mission and then, well everything went as badly as it could but I’m ok, me and Obi-Wan got away and the Council got us out.

Your own hand came up to cup his cheek, your thumb running along his cheekbone as you listened to him speak. Two months he had been captured for, two months he had gone through things that would haunt him for a long time if that look in his eyes told you anything. 

Two months of not knowing, of being sick with worry, all vanished as you looked at him. He was a little skinnier than the last time you had seen him, cheekbones more prominent and he had dark circles under his eyes. There were a few cuts on his face, a bruise you could see fading on his wrist and he looked exhausted.

Even with the exhaustion on his face you could still see how relieved he was, relieved to finally be rescued, to be home, to be with you. For two months his thoughts stayed on you, through every beating and interrogation, through every hit and burn his thoughts stayed on you, on making sure he got out of this so he could see you again, so he could hold you in his arms and never let you go.

To finally be here, to finally have you in his arms, to have you this close to him, to feel your shaky breaths on his face made everything better. It made the pain he still felt more bearable. It was all he had thought about, there were times when he truly thought him and Obi-Wan were going to die, that by the time help came for them they would be long gone. Even when he felt his hope slipping his thoughts still went back to you, of how you would react to hearing the news. Nobody would think to tell you first, to give you warning. As far as the Council was concerned you were nothing more than a mission to him, an order to keep the Senator’s daughter safe because she was an easy target and had absolutely no concern for her own safety. 

And of course that was all you had started out as, a mission for him, a task to keep you alive. It was a mission that if the Council knew just what it had caused, knew the feelings it stirred within Anakin’s mind and heart, they would have regretted it. They spoke so much about how Jedi should not form attachments, how love would lead them to the Dark Side and then forced him onto a mission he hadn’t wanted where he had met the girl of his dreams.

Anakin loved you, more deeply than he had loved anything in his entire life. He could see why the Jedi could think it was a bad thing, all the love he felt for you was overwhelming at times. He knew he would do anything to keep you safe, anything you asked of him without a moment's hesitation. You held so much power over him, power you didn’t even know you held and yet Anakin wasn’t scared, he didn’t think he’d ever be tempted to the Dark Side because of the love he felt for you. If anything, the way you had him wrapped around your little finger and the love he felt was enough to keep him Light Side forever, he would never fall because he knew that wasn’t a path you could follow. You were the best person he knew and he would do anything to be the best person in your life.

Anakin couldn’t help himself, after two months of being tortured alongside Obi-Wan, forced to listen to his Master in pain, forced to spend two months away from you, Anakin was a weak man. He had kept himself back for years, told himself it was not the Jedi way to form attachments but who was Anakin kidding? He knew he felt more deeply than most of the Jedi and for years now he knew he was too attached to you to even begin breaking the string tying you together, the two of you so entwined it would be an impossible task.

Without warning, without hesitation Anakin leaned down. There was hardly any distance between the two of you anyway, foreheads pressed together as you breathed each other's air. He barely had to tilt his head before his lips were brushing against yours, it was a soft touching of lips and yet it created so much electricity between the two of you.

Anakin waited for a reaction before he deepened the kiss but he didn’t get a chance as you pulled him closer, seemingly waiting for his lips against yours for as long as he had been. Once you pulled him close, lips slotting against each other the energy shifted instantly. Gone was the soft, barely there touch of lips and in its place was desperation, longing, fear, relief, too many emotions to name crammed into one messy kiss. 

Anakin’s hands cupped your face, pulling you impossibly closer as your hands moved to his chest, gripping the fabric in your hands as you savoured everything about the kiss, the way his were slightly chapped against your own, the way his hands felt on your face and the way the sparks seemed to fly.

Anakin, unlike you, could feel the Force around the two of you, practically singing in happiness as you kissed each other until you were breathless and then some, only pulling away when the need for air truly became too much. The two of you stayed close though, bringing your foreheads back together and panting as you caught your breath.

“I should get captured more often.” Anakin murmured playfully, smiling down at you and laughing as you pulled away from him, just far enough so you could slap his chest before cuddling back into him.

Anakin smiled into your hair, settling your head under his chin as he held you close, more than content to enjoy this moment. 

“You ever do anything like that again-” You started but Anakin cut you off with a soft laugh and a kiss to your hair.

“Trust me, I don’t plan to ever be away from you for that long again. I don’t know what was worse the torture or not seeing your beautiful smile for two months. Stars, I nearly told them what they wanted to know just to see you again.” Anakin told you, grinning at you as you pulled your head back to look up at him, rolling your eyes at his words but not denying him of the smile that spread across your lips.

“I’m glad you’re home.” You told him softly and his grin faded into a smile as he kissed your forehead and held you to his chest.

The Jedi temple had never truly been his home, he used to think his small hut back on Tatooine was his true home but standing here with you, in your spot by the lake, sun rising and casting a soft orange glow across the planet, he knew in his heart this was his home.

Not the planet, not the beautifully rich palace behind him but the girl in his arms. You were his home, you would always be his home and you would forever have his heart. It was yours to hold, yours to cherish and yours to break. 

If it were anyone else before him he might have been terrified at the thought but because it was you it didn’t even cross his mind to be scared of what was to come. He trusted you with his life, with his heart, with everything. He knew you were the one for him, you were his love and he would do everything he could to keep you and the love between you safe.

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Enough for You

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Angstember Prompt -  "I really wish you had told me that before I went and fell in love with you."

In the beginning, like most things were, it was good. It started with the feeling of butterflies in your stomach and your heart skipping a beat, it evolved into realisation of what your feelings were and hope that he could feel the same. It grew into stolen glances and longing until it finally turned into a desperate kiss, your face cupped in his hands and yours gripping the fabric of his robe.

Like all things, it started out good.

Of course once the two of you sorted through your feelings, once the two of you finally sat down together and confessed that you wanted more than friendship, it had to be kept a secret. Neither of you cared about that though, it was nice having something that was only yours. 

And for two years it was good.

You and Anakin hardly had that awkward stage at the beginning of your relationship, the one that consisted of dancing around each other as you got to know one another. You had been friends for years, you had met him when you were ten years old, your Master had fallen ill and had been confined to the Halls of Healing leaving you alone. Anakin had found you one day, struggling to meditate and that’s how Obi-Wan found his Padawan hours later, sat next to you as he taught you as his Master taught him.

From there on you and Anakin had become inseparable, a closeness that had many raising an eyebrow but only voiced concerns quietly to each other. Master Jedi may not have liked how close you were, a friendship that seemed like an attachment, but they couldn’t deny when your Master’s went on missions together you and Anakin worked flawlessly together. 

As the years passed the bond between you and Anakin only got stronger and stronger. The two of you were always at each other's side, training together, exploring the grounds and the Temple, sneaking out together and seeing Coruscant together. There had been occasions where you and Anakin had stolen one of the speeders so Anakin could show off to you, it always ended with you clinging to him as he took corners way too fast and Obi-Wan scolding the pair of you. 

Seven years of friendship seemed to fly by as fast as Anakin on a speeder and suddenly the two of you were seventeen. Neither of you particularly liked looking back on most of your time as seventeen years old, not when it was the first year that saw the two of you distancing yourselves from the other. 

It wasn’t as though you’d had a falling out with each other, it wasn't like you didn’t want to spend your days at his side but it was the first year that you both seemed to make sense of everything you had been feeling. Of course these feelings weren’t new to either of you, you had both been feeling them for years now but before they didn’t seem significant, they didn’t seem like something that needed to be looked into because they didn’t mean anything back then.

But now…now they meant something and you couldn’t be around Anakin without becoming flustered and he couldn’t be around you without flushing and stammering through a sentence. 

It wasn’t a pleasant eight months to say the least. Both of you had become so used to spending seven years attached to each other that to suddenly be without the other was lonely, there wasn’t a better word for it. Both of you were lonely and it was for that reason that you both eventually ended up sitting down with each other and telling each other how you felt.

Obviously it wasn’t an easy conversation. The Jedi had spent years drilling it into your heads about how attachments were wrong, about how loving a singular person was a one way path to the Dark Side. To confess your feelings to each other went against everything you had both been taught and yet it hadn’t stopped you. If any was going to break the Jedi Code then it would come as no shock to anybody that it would be you and Anakin.

After that conversation things quickly went back to normal and you and Anakin easily fell back into each other's lives like you’d never been separated. It worried many of the elder Jedi but others, like Obi-Wan and your own Master, were just relieved after having put up with eight months of grumpy and sad Padawan’s.

It wasn’t hard to keep your relationship a secret. By now you and Anakin knew plenty of hiding places in the Temple and the two of you disappearing for hours had long since stopped concerning people so nobody would come looking for you. It also helped that your Master’s tended to go on missions together so you and Anakin were able to sneak away there and explore the new sights together. There had been plenty of times you’d been in his chambers or him in yours and had nearly been caught locked at the lips but Anakin was quite good at multitasking and was always able to warn you before somebody entered the room, giving you a minute to compose yourselves.

In the time you had been dating Anakin had snuck you out of the Temple more times than you could count, always pulling you along with him to whatever surprise he had planned. Sometimes it was a picnic in a quiet place that took a long time to get to but it was always worth it. Other times it was to explore different things, join celebrations in the city, many times though it was a chance to blend in amongst the crowd and act like a normal couple. 

It might have been annoying at times to hide your relationship, neither you nor Anakin saw how it would lead you to the Dark Side, but you made it work.

And then Master Kenobi walked into his chambers, you and Anakin barely having time to pull away from each other as he did. Master Kenobi looked between the two of you with a look you couldn’t quite discern but it was gone just as quietly as he told you and Anakin you were to watch over the Senator of Naboo.

Anakin immediately beamed at the news causing you to raise an eyebrow but you shrugged it off and instead asking why you were going. It wasn’t rare for you to join Anakin and Obi-Wan on a mission but usually your Master joined though lately it was becoming less often as he got older. Obi-Wan just smiled at you and told you your Master had suggested it to the Council and they had agreed.

It wasn’t long until the three of you were on your way to meet the Senator. You liked to think you knew Anakin pretty well by now, liked to think you could read his easily but now as you stared at him, fingers tugging on the braid as his leg bounced you would have said, easily, that he was nervous. 

But what was there to be nervous about?

Obi-Wan too picked up on Anakin’s nerves as the three of you arrived at the Senate building and entered the turbolift up to the Senator’s apartment, glancing at his Padawan who fidgeted with his robes and tugged on the braid again.

“You seem a little on edge.” Obi-wan prompted, breaking the silence in the lift and you couldn’t help but stand straighter, waiting for Anakin’s response.

“Not at all.” Anakin replied, the words entirely unconvincing to you, causing your eyebrows to knit together as you frowned, folding your arms together. 

Obi-Wan continued on and you listened to the two of them bicker back and forth for a moment before the two of them laughed and Obi-Wan turned towards his Padawan, just looking for a second before he spoke.

“You’re sweating,” He told Anakin and you lifted your head slightly at that, looking at Anakin out of the corners of your eyes and seeing Obi-Wan was right. “Relax, take a deep breath.”

You had a feeling in the pit of your stomach, a bad one, one that felt heavy and cold and you desperately tried to push it away. Nothing had happened, so what Anakin was nervous, so what he was acting like he had when the two of you didn’t speak in the eight months you had drifted apart because of your crush. 

It didn’t mean anything.

“I haven’t seen her in ten years, Master.” Anakin murmured quietly to Obi-Wan and you closed your eyes desperate to fight back any emotion, trying to force everything you were feeling out into the Force. 

Nothing more was said in the turbolift, Obi-Wan just let out a small sigh and Anakin frowned, glancing at you before doing a double take as if he had forgot you were there but you just looked ahead, acting as if you had missed the look before the door opened and you stepped out. 

Seeing the Senator of Naboo only made the cold feeling inside you grow. Of course she was beautiful, with her hair pulled up in an intricate design, his voice soft and light. Her eyes were a beautiful shade of brown that seemed to light up as she looked at Anakin, looked at Ani. 

Of course she was beautiful. 

Anakin himself seemed even more nervous than he had been in the turbolift. As he addressed her a smile came across his face, shy and sweet and adoring. Then he went and called her beautiful and he wasn’t wrong but it still twisted the knife you felt had been plunged into you. 

Obi-Wan glanced away as Anakin stumbled over his words, a look on his face as if to say what in the stars is he doing before it was replaced by a concerned look as he took in the look on your face. You thought you were doing a better job at hiding it but apparently not, apparently there was enough hurt, enough jealousy and fear on your face to give something away. 

You forced yourself again to expel your feelings into the Force, perhaps too forcefully if the way Anakin turned to you and Obi-Wan’s raised eyebrows meant anything.

“Ah Senator, this is Padawan Y/F/N Y/L/N, she will be assisting in the protection of your safety.” Obi-Wan introduced you softly, sparing you another concerned glance but you forced a neutral look onto your face before bowing your head towards the Senator.

“It’s nice to meet you, Y/N.” She said in that soft tone of hers, a warm smile on her face as she held a hand out for you.

“Pleased to meet you, Senator.” You replied evenly, swallowing against the lump in your throat you reached out and shook her hand.

Obi-Wan began discussions about Padmé’s protection with Captain Typho and you listened half-heartedly though you didn’t take much in. You sat on one side of Obi-Wan and Anakin sat on the other, something which made Obi-Wan raise an eyebrow but as he looked at Anakin he saw his gaze was focused on Padmé and you were much more interested in your fingers playing with your robes than you were with him.

“-not to start an investigation.” You heard Obi-Wan tell the Senator but then Anakin quickly interrupted him in a way he wouldn't have had the Senator been anybody else.

“We will find out who’s trying to kill you Padmé.” At those words you glanced up, looking over far enough to see Obi-Wan’s look of disapproval, disapproval that only deepened at Anakin’s next words. “I promise you.”

As Obi-Wan argued against Anakin’s words you couldn’t help but look away again, not baring to look at Anakin or Padmé. He was trying to impress her, his mission here wasn’t about finding the person trying to kill her it was only to protect and yet here he was jumping at the chance to do as she asked, the chance to gain her favour. 

You knew it all too well because it was what he had done with you, in an effort to impress you any time you said you wanted something Anakin wouldn’t hesitate to do it in hopes that you would like him more. Of course you hadn’t realised that was what he was doing until after you were dating but now you saw it clear as day.

The cold feeling in your stomach only grew as Anakin argued with Obi-Wan, desperate to find the person trying to kill the Senate. You hated the sudden stinging in your eyes and your lips quivered as you tried to fight tears back. There was no use getting upset, you could still be blowing this out of proportion.

And yet something told you you weren’t. You didn’t have a good feeling about this mission.

It wasn’t long until everyone retired from the meeting leaving you, Anakin and Obi-Wan alone. Anakin went out to the balcony and Obi-Wan followed behind him. You stayed where you were on the sofa, barely noticing them leave as your mind was clouded with sadness and anger. 

Perhaps this is why the Jedi didn’t let you fall in love, to form attachments. 

Of course you weren’t planning on falling to the Dark Side just because Anakin had a crush on the Senator but you could see how a Jedi could fall. How the anger and pain at losing a loved one in such a way, a way that would create jealousy and hatred, could lead to a Jedi falling. 

You loved Anakin with all your heart. At first it had scared you just how much power Anakin held over you, how he had the ability to break you with just a few words but then months passed, beautiful and joyous months that settled your nerves. He was it for you, there would never be another.

You had once thought he felt the same for you.

He said he hadn’t seen the Senator for ten years, a year before he met you. All that time he had spent with you she was somewhere in his mind, however distant, she was there. You had seen his face when she spoke to him, the guilt as he glanced at you in the turbolift, he had always had her in his mind.

Whilst your entire heart was his, he only shared a bit of his with you, some part of it always belonged to her even if he had been but a child when he first met her.

You lay on the sofa, facing the back of it and closed your eyes but it did nothing to stop the tears that slid from them and it took all your effort to cry silently, to push the sobs you felt down. 

You had never been his, not in the way he had been yours. 

“I’d much rather dream about Padmé.” You heard Anakin tell Obi-Wan as they stepped closer to the main room, “just being around her again is intoxicating.”

“And what of Y/N?” You heard Obi-Wan ask and your blood ran cold again as you forced yourself to relax as they entered the room, not wanting them to know you were awake. You missed the questioning glance Anakin shot towards Obi-Wan, surely the man couldn’t know. “I would have thought after spending so many years at her side, Padmé wouldn’t have filled your thoughts.”

Anakin was silent for a long moment, a moment that you spent trying to stay quiet, even as sobs built up in your throat.

“Of course when I’m with Y/N it’s different. They’re so different from each other that Padmé doesn’t cross my mind all that often but I still think about her. I still dream about her some days, the angel I met on Tatooine.” Anakin’s words had you pleading with the Force, desperate to stay silent even as you felt your heart break. “Y/N is my best friend but compared to Padmé-”

“And here I thought Y/N meant more to you than that.” Obi-Wan murmured thoughtfully, causing Anakin to still and turn to face his Master.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Anakin asked defensively.

“Nothing, young Padawan, just that I have spent years watching you and Y/N, watching as your friendship grew. I suggest if you feel this way for Padmé you tell Y/N how you feel. Not that it should matter of course, you swore your commitment to the Jedi Order, a commitment that forbids attachment, not that I need to remind you of that, right Padawan?” You felt your heart skip a beat at Obi-Wan’s words because he knew- he knew about you and Anakin.

There was no doubt about it, Obi-Wan had to know why else would bring you up at all? If you were truly just a friend to Anakin why would he have to tell you that he loved the Senator. Obi-Wan knew about you and Anakin, how long had he known? Why had he let the two of you carry on instead of turning you over to the Council for such a blatant breach of the Code?

“Of course not, Master. I am well aware of the Code.” Anakin told him evenly, glancing away from his Master.

As the two of them spoke you felt something shift, a disturbance that had you frowning as you tried to figure out whether it was something in the Force warning you of danger or if it were simply your own emotions.

“I sense it too.” You heard Obi-Wan say and you sat up in time to see them running into the Senator’s room. 

You quickly wiped your eyes on your robe and followed behind them and watched as Anakin pulled his lightsaber out, dealing with whatever had been about to harm the Senator. 

You were able to ignore your feelings as you took in the scene but then Obi-Wan told you to watch over the Senator as he and Anakin went to track down the droid and though you hated the thought you nodded and watched them leave.

You glanced at the Senator and found the feelings slamming into you, the pain and the hurt and the anger all too overwhelming.

“Are you alright?” Padmé asked you, even in the darkness of the room she could see the redness of your eyes.

“Just fine.” You told her evenly, voice coming out cold as you tried to choke back your emotions, scanning the room once before leaving. The Senator followed behind you, though you wished she’d just go back to sleep so you could have a minute alone to process everything.

“You don’t like me much, do you?” She asked, sitting on the sofa opposite you.

“I don’t know you.” You answered as close to the truth as you could get because the truth was no, you didn’t like her all that much. How could you? You were more than aware it wasn’t her fault, she was beautiful, what had Anakin called her, an angel?

He was right about that and you hated it. 

“And yet you look at me like I’m your enemy.” She told you and you couldn’t help but frown as you looked away from her. “Does this have something to do with Ani?”

Ani, you hated the way the word fell from her lips like it was familiar. 

“No, Senator. Like I said I don’t have a problem with you, I don’t know you. You really should go back to sleep.” You told her, still not able to bring yourself to look at her, knowing if you did you would only be able to compare yourself to her, to wonder what she had that you didn’t.

Why was she good enough for Anakin and you weren’t? You who had spent years at his side, years giving him all your love, giving him your heart.

“I can hardly sleep after another attempt on my life.” She told you lightly and you could feel her gaze on you. All you wanted to do was leave, to make her look away, to scream and cry and curse the world but you couldn’t do any of that right now. “Besides, I'd much rather talk to you, to find out why you don’t like me.”

You took a deep breath, forcing your emotions into the Force again but there were too many and they just kept building up and you knew eventually they’d explode from you. You needed to be alone desperately, all you wanted was to be alone.

“It is Anakin, isn’t it?” She pushed and if she kept prodding you knew she would be the one your emotions turned on. “Wait, do you like Anakin? I didn’t think the Jedi were-”

You couldn’t take it, you couldn’t listen to her piece the situation together, couldn’t listen as she laughed at how foolish someone like you was for falling for someone like Anakin when someone like her existed. 

You stood abruptly from your seat causing Padmé to say your name softly but you ignored her and strode from the room, ignoring as the Senator called after you. You knew Obi-Wan would scold you for this later, for leaving the Senator alone barely ten minutes after her assassination attempt. You knew if something happened to her you’d have more problems than a telling off from Obi-Wan but right now you didn’t care.

All you cared about was being as far away from her and from Anakin and from everybody as you could be. 

You eventually found an empty room not too many floors down from the Senator’s apartment. The view was beautiful but you hardly noticed it as you sat on the floor, the only light coming from the floor to ceiling windows. 

You let your eyes fall closed, let all your emotions come to the surface and let the tears fall down your cheeks uncontrollably. A few sobs may have escaped you but you didn’t hear them as you tried to push your feelings into the Force but you couldn’t, they were too strong and they seemed to cling to you, making you feel every bit of them.

You didn’t know how long passed until the door opened as somebody sat next to you. You knew it was Anakin, you knew what he felt like in the Force better than you knew yourself. The feeling in the pit of your stomach seemed at its heaviest, at its coldest and you really didn’t have a good feeling about this conversation.

You knew what was going to happen, knew it had to happen and yet you were completely unprepared. You had never had to be without Anakin, even in those few months you had grown apart you didn’t cut yourself off from him completely but after this you didn’t know if you could look at him again without breaking down.

“You love her.” You said stoically when it became clear he wasn’t going to speak first.

“I don’t want to.” He told you, voice shaking as he spoke and you couldn’t help the huff of laughter that left you.

“But you love her.” You said, voice breaking as tears continued to fall down your cheeks.

“I love you too.” He pleaded with you, desperate for you to know that. 

“But you love her more, right? Otherwise I would have been enough for you. If you loved me as much as I love you then there wouldn’t be room for another in your heart.” You had yet to open your eyes, you didn’t think you could look at him, not with your emotions this close to the surface.

“I can’t help it, Y/N. If I could get rid of my feelings for her I would have done it years ago but I can’t. She’s always in my mind, sometimes she’s in my dreams and seeing her again brought those feelings forward again.” Anakin told you, sniffing as he fought back his own tears.

“I really wish you had told me that before I went and fell in love with you. I wish you cared enough about me to spare my feelings, to spare me the humiliation-” 

“I didn’t know I was going to meet her again! I thought I’d never see her again and I love you. I love you dearly, Y/N, don’t ever think I don’t.” Anakin exclaimed and you finally opened your eyes.

He was sat next to you, tears falling down his cheeks as he stared at you with wide eyes but you shook your head.

“You don’t love me, Anakin.” You told him coldly, forcing your tears to stop if only for a few moments, “You don’t because I love you and I know that I would never do this to you. You were the only person I cared for this much, the only person I loved enough to break the Code for. I would have done anything for you, Anakin, anything. Now I feel as though I’m looking at a stranger.” 

“Come on Y/N, please don’t say that. I love you, all our years together-”

“We’re nothing more to you than a distraction from Padmé!” You exclaimed standing up and wiping your eyes angrily. 

“Don’t say that!” Anakin shot back, standing up as well.  “Don’t ever say that, don’t think it. My time with you was real, it was honest, every moment and every word of it. Don’t erase it now, Y/N.”

“Two years we have been together, loved each other for much longer. You were my best friend, Anakin.” You told him, your voice breaking as he stared at you with wide, pleading eyes. “You knew her for moments compared to us, met her when you were only a child and yet somehow she is more important to you than I could ever be.”

“Y/N,” He pleaded with you but no other words came out of his mouth.

“You broke my heart Anakin. I always knew you had the power to do it but, stars, I never thought you actually would.” You laughed, a sad sob of a laugh. “I really hope she was worth it Anakin, I hope she makes you so happy.” 

“Come on Y/N, please don’t do this.” Tears continued to fall from his eyes as he pleaded with you but you shook your head.

“I’m not the one doing this, Anakin. You’re the one who let me fall in love with you whilst your heart belonged to another. This is all on you. You are the reason I have lost not only the love of my life but my best friend too.” You told him, your voice breaking again as you fought tears back.

“I’m sorry.” He told you, his voice barely above a whisper and you shook your head, turning to leave the room, sparing him one last glance. 

“I really hope she’s worth it.” You told him, a smile, shaky and filled with sadness and bitterness and anger spreading across your face as Anakin’s eyes fell closed and you left the room, leaving behind the man you loved with a broken heart and tears falling from your eyes.

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Angstember Prompt -  “I'm so sorry.”

When the war started you thought you had prepared for the worst, you worked tirelessly with your parents to ensure your planet was as protected as it could be. You made sure your people would have food supplies in case anything happened with the trade system, made sure you were well armed in case of an attack.

You thought you had prepared for the worst. So when you received the announcement that your parents ship had been blown up and there were no survivors, you didn’t know how to react. 

There was no time to grieve. In the space of a day you had gone from working behind the scenes to ensure your planet's safety to taking your family’s seat in the Senate, a position you had never wanted and taking up the position as ruler of your planet. 

You had been raised with the intention to take the seat, it had always been expected of you but you never wanted it. The responsibility alone was too much for you to shoulder, on top of that the sleazy politicians only got sleazier since the war started. You had no interest in stooping to their level, of promising one thing only to stab people in the back to help themselves, you had no interest in turning your back on your people to play the political field. 

The days after your parents’ death were a blur, you barely remembered anything from that time. You’d spent most of it trying to keep yourself composed in public before breaking down in private when the weight of things got too much. 

You don’t think you would have made it through the first day alone without Anakin. 

You and Anakin had been friends for years. Back when the Jedi were only Peacekeepers rather than Generals of the war, Anakin and his Master had been assigned to your planet to aid in discussions between your parents and the Senators of a neighbouring planet. 

You had been excited to see real life Jedi, the stories of them had been told for years all throughout the galaxy and you were always excited to learn what you could about them. 

Anakin and you had only been young back then, both easily bored at the discussion between the two planets. Your mother had noticed quickly and during one of the breaks had dismissed you, suggesting to Obi-Wan that Anakin accompany you. Obi-Wan had smiled warmly at your mother before sending Anakin and you off. 

You had been slightly nervous to be around the boy alone that first time, he was a Jedi and you had about a million questions on the tip of your tongue with no courage to ask any. Anakin could sense your nerves and excitement and grinned over at you. 

That grin seemed to be all it took to break the unease you felt and you found yourself grinning back at him. The two of you went to your chambers and Anakin was more than happy to answer all the questions you could think to ask. 

Negotiations and talks lasted longer than anyone had originally thought but neither you nor Anakin complained, not when it meant you got months to get to know each other. 

The two months passed by faster than either of you would have liked. You had spent that time showing Anakin around your planet, royal guards following the pair of you as you roamed around despite the fact Anakin was a Jedi. More often than not the two of you escaped the guards, laughing whilst you did, before taking each other’s hand to explore some more. 

It was the freest Anakin had felt in his life. He had thought leaving Tatooine would allow him more freedom but he quickly realised the Jedi had their own sets of rules and restrictions. Being here with you, away from his duties, was amazing, he hated that they had to leave your home world. 

It wasn’t too long before you were seeing each other again though. Two years passed, years in which you thought about Anakin more than you’d admit to anybody. This time the Jedi Padawan and Master had been sent to your planet after the second assassination attempt on your family, the first being on your mother and the second being on you. 

It was wonderful to see Anakin again and Anakin clearly felt the same way as he rushed over to you, a bright smile on his face as he greeted you. The smile dimmed slightly as he asked you if you were okay, his hand coming up to rest on your arm. Your smile widened at the touch though, only yesterday you had been terrified after barely escaping the assassins but now you weren’t scared at all. 

How could you be when Anakin was here?

It was easy to forget about the attempt on your life with Anakin back with you, instead of spending your time worrying over it you focused on the Padawan, catching up with each other and everything you had missed in those two years apart. 

This visit was much longer. Four months later and the people responsible for the attempts on the lives of you and your mother hadn’t been caught and the Jedi hadn’t stopped them from trying again. First it was your father on his way back from a meeting, then your mother again when she visited the hospital and its sick patients and then you.

Anakin had been furious when you stumbled back to the palace, gown ripped and covered in mud. It was rare for the two of you not to be at each other’s side but that morning Anakin and Obi-Wan had been called to meet with the Jedi Council via holocomm and you had only ventured into the palace gardens. 

Anakin didn’t ever leave your side after that and you never complained. You were glad to have him back and were more than content to stay by his side. The palace was big enough to pass the time but it got boring quickly, you and Anakin were both used to sneaking out and going to private spots the two of you had found far away from anybody else but Anakin refused to take the risk, refused to bend the rules when it came to your safety.

It was boring, even if you did love the company. Anakin sat on the floor, legs crossed and eyes closed as he completed his morning hour long meditation session that Obi-Wan enforced despite Anakin’s complaining. You, much like Anakin, couldn’t see the appeal of meditation but always joined him, laying back on the floor, your head resting close to his knee as you waited for him to finish.

Halfway through you sat up, noticing the way his eyebrow raised slightly but he kept his eyes shut. You saw his lightsaber laying next to him and couldn’t help but reach out. Over the years, over the months you’d known Anakin and Obi-Wan, you had never become less intrigued with the Jedi, still questioned Anakin daily on things you wondered about and Anakin was always happy to answer you, though on many occasions he seemed to fabricate his own stories but you were never less than happy to listen to them with a smile and laughter.

You held the hilt of the lightsaber in your hand, running your fingers along the length of it and twirling it around in your hands, missing Anakin’s soft smile as he opened his eyes, never having been meditating anyway. 

“Would you like to try it?” Anakin asked, causing you to look up at him with knitted eyebrows.

“What?” You asked back, causing his smile to widen into a grin as he stood up, holding a hand out for you to take. 

You took the hand and let him pull you up, following him with your eyes as he walked around you, his arms wrapping around yours as he took your empty hand and wrapped it around the lightsaber. 

“Here, hold it like this.” He told you and you followed the instruction, desperately trying to ignore the way his hands felt over yours. “Good, now you want to move it like this.” He said, voice quiet against your ear and you forced yourself not to shiver.

Anakin guided your hands, weaving patterns through the air before he stepped back and beamed over at you, watching as you returned the gesture even as you looked a little flustered. Anakin didn’t think much of it, not when his own heart was racing so quickly and he drew his mental shields even higher to stop any emotions seeping through his bond with Obi-Wan.

“Now press this button and do it again.” Anakin told you, taking another step back as you ignited the lightsaber, holding it out in front of you like it was going to hurt you. 

Anakin couldn’t help but chuckle and moved around to your side again.

“Relax,” He murmured, the way he spoke caused you to do the complete opposite and you cursed yourself, having no idea why you were suddenly acting like this. You had just about forced your body to relax when Anakin wrapped his hand around you again. “Just like before, it won’t hurt you.”

Despite the mess of emotions inside you that you couldn’t figure out, trying to push them far away until you were in bed and could work through them, you had to admit it was exciting wielding a lightsaber. 

Eventually Anakin pulled away again and watched as you moved as he instructed, a feeling in his chest, soft and light and singing with happiness. He knew he liked you, though the Code forbade it, he knew his heart belonged to you. He was determined to keep you safe, to keep you happy and watching you dance around with his lightsaber, a laugh falling from your lips he knew he was right.

His heart truly belonged to you.

The Jedi stayed two more months, two months filled with Anakin teaching you how to use his lightsaber. Months filled with the two of you alternating between trying to figure out your feelings and pushing them deep down in an attempt to ignore them. Months spent constantly at each other's side and growing closer as the days passed.

Eventually though they were forced to leave after having completed their job and you hadn’t thought you would ever be upset at having the people attempting to kill your family captured but here you were, pouting as Anakin’s ship took him far away from you, not knowing when you’d see him again.

Anakin insisted on being the one to go to your planet, pleaded with Obi-Wan, snapped at Master Windu before arguing to the Council that he and Obi-Wan had been to your planet on two separate occasions, spending months at a time with you, arguing that you had just lost your family and they would be familiar, that you wouldn’t have to be on edge around them.

Obi-Wan watched his former Padawan make solid and convincing arguments and yet he saw through each one of them. He had been there, he had seen the two of you together and he knew Anakin hadn’t managed to push you from his mind since the last time you had met. He saw the worry in Anakin’s eyes, felt the panic and fear for you through their bond though Anakin desperately tried to shield those feelings. 

Eventually the Council agreed and Anakin practically dragged Obi-Wan from the room, only pausing as they saw Ahsoka waiting outside for them. He expected Anakin to fill his Padawan in but instead he carried on down the hallway, gesturing for her to follow them with a nod of his head. Ahsoka shot Obi-Wan a confused, questioning look but he just shook his head and let Anakin lead their way to the hangar bay.

“Is the General alright, Sir?” Rex asked him quietly as the ship was loaded. Anakin had long since grown restless, pacing the length of the room as he waited until they could leave.

Every minute he spent here was a minute you spent alone, alone and unprotected. If anything happened to you Anakin would never forgive himself.

“The Princess is a dear friend of his.” Obi-Wan said softly, his eyes following Anakin, his distress could be felt clearly through the Force. 

His eyes moved around the room until they landed on Ahsoka, the young Padawan clearly feeling her Master’s emotions as she stared at him, wide eyed and concerned, never having seen Anakin in such a state.

Thankfully it wasn’t much longer before they were leaving Coruscant, not that it improved Anakin’s mood much but he had finally stopped pacing and sat heavily across from Obi-Wan. 

“Calm yourself, Anakin,” Obi-Wan murmured softly, not surprised when Anakin’s head shot up to glare at him. “She’ll be fine.”

“You can’t know that Master!” He snapped, fists clenched in his lap, “You don’t know that.”

Over the years Obi-Wan had bore witness to many of Anakin’s emotional outbursts, times when he was too wound up to use the techniques he had taught him and calm himself enough to handle a situation rationally. Yet in all that time he had never seen Anakin quite like this. 

Anakin no longer had a grip on his mental shields and Obi-Wan could feel the worry and fear for you more strongly than he had back in the hangar bay. Every second that passed Anakin’s fear only grew. There were no coherent thoughts, only a mess of what if’s and what could be’s if they didn’t get to you in time.

Obi-Wan had no idea how to handle the situation, he was completely at a loss and cursed himself for not having a conversation with Anakin years ago about you and attachments and his commitment to the Code.

Apparently it was too late for that now. 

Now all he could do was try and make Anakin focus on the mission rather than on his overwhelming worry.

“We need a plan, Anakin.” Obi-Wan said, his tone firm and Anakin only continued to glare at him. “If you want to protect your Princess then you have to focus. So far we know that an attack on Astal hasn’t been ordered but with the death of the King and Queen we don’t know what the Separatist plan is.”

“We have to get her out of there.” Anakin said, the glare finally wiped from his face as he sat straighter in his seat. “They’ll come for her. Her parents swore themselves and their people to the Republic. They’ll try and turn her to their side but she’ll never join so the only option for them is to kill her and take the planet by force. I won’t let that happen, Obi-Wan.” There was so much conviction in Anakin’s tone that Obi-Wan truly believed him, he believed Anakin would take on the entire Separatist army alone should they dare come for you.

“We both know she won’t leave.” Obi-Wan said, he might not have spent as much time with you as Anakin had but he knew you well enough to know your strength and determination, you wouldn’t leave your people. Anakin knew it as well judging by the way he huffed and sank into his seat.

“I wish she would.” Anakin muttered to himself but he knew you’d never do it, if he even dared suggest it to you he knew you’d scoff and brush past him, not even entertaining the idea. “How long until we arrive?” 

“We’re minutes away, General.” Cody told them as he entered the room and everyone got to work so that by the time they landed, weapons were quickly taken from the ship as everyone prepared for what was to come.

Anakin paid no mind to the Clones working around him, instead he practically ran off the ship, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka close behind. You were already waiting for them and Anakin made his way over to you straight away, not hesitating to pull you into his arms. He felt you tense against him before melting into his chest a second later, your whole body shaking as your hands came up to grip his robes.

Anakin held you tightly, one arm wrapped around you, the other tangled in your hair as he held you to his chest, your head tucked under his chin and the two of you stood there, ignoring your surroundings as you cried.

You didn’t know how long passed, it felt like hours when really it was only a few minutes but eventually you pulled away. Not going too far but far enough so you could look up at him, his face soft as he smiled sadly down at you, bringing the hand in your hair to wipe your tears.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered, watching as you took a shaky breath and nodded whilst trying to compose yourself before you forced a smile onto your face.

“Thank you for coming.” You whispered back, voice breaking as you tried to hold back tears, something that was made impossibly harder by Anakin guiding your head to his lips, pressing them gently against your forehead.

“Of course,” He murmured against your head, “I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” 

The two of you finally pulled away and you turned to Obi-Wan, smiling shakily over at him.

“It’s nice to see you again, Milady, I only wish it was under better circumstances. I truly am sorry for your loss, your parents were wonderful people.” Obi-Wan told you softly and you had to swallow against the sudden lump in your throat.

“Thank you, Obi-Wan and thank you for coming. There’s nobody I trust more with my people’s safety.” You told him and Obi-Wan smiled sadly at you. “They’re going to attack, aren’t they?”

“So far we haven’t received word from our inside man about their next plans but we can only assume targeting Astal is their next goal.” Anakin told you quietly and you nodded, taking another shaky breath.

“Obi-Wan, you know your way around the palace,” You said and Obi-Wan nodded, “I’ll leave you to prepare with your men. I have to deal with the Senate.” 

You gave them a final forced smile before turning away. You hadn’t gotten far before you heard footsteps behind you and you smiled to yourself as you slowed your steps, allowing Anakin to walk alongside you.

“I wish we would stop meeting because your life is in danger.” Anakin told you and you couldn’t stop the small, watery laugh that escaped you causing Anakin to smile. “Really, if you wanted to see me so badly you could have commed me.”

“I’m glad you’re here, Anakin.” You told him softly and Anakin reached over and entwined his fingers with yours, giving your hand a gentle squeeze.

Despite everything you still couldn’t help but focus on the feeling, glad to know that the feeling of sparks and electricity were still there despite how much time had passed since your last meeting. Anakin truly was what you needed right now, suddenly thrust into power with everybody looking towards you, it was overwhelmingly frightening, you hadn’t had a second to mourn and yet you felt like you could breathe easier since Anakin arrived.

“I’d have come even if the Council forbid it.” He told you honestly and you felt that old familiar rush of warmth run through you, wishing more than ever things were different.

Two days passed, days were Anakin and you fell back into an easy old routine, spending the days at each other's side. Anakin found himself in your chambers at nights, you couldn’t sleep, not with the constant nightmares and Anakin was more than happy to stay awake with you. 

Sometimes you had too much pent up nervous energy and during those time Anakin unholstered his lightsaber and pushed it into your hands, telling you to show him what you remembered. Your form was still pretty good considering how long it had been but Anakin didn’t miss the opportunity to step behind you, his arms wrapping your body against his and you weren’t stopping him. You had missed his touch every day.

Other times the two of you sat on the sofa, Anakin’s arm around you as you cried into his chest, no words were exchanged during those times. There was nothing to be said to make things better, all Anakin could do was hold you close and let you know you weren’t alone.

It was on the third day of Anakin, Obi-Wan and the Clones being there that the Separatist arrived with no warning but thankfully you were prepared. The Clones moved easily into position and Anakin and you walked to meet Obi-Wan and Ahsoka.

“Stay in the palace.” Anakin told you, hands on your shoulders as he looked you in the eyes, seeing that spark of determination in them.

“They killed my parents, I’m ending this.” You told him, stubborn as always.

“I know they did,” He sighed, moving one of his hands to cup your cheek as he rested his forehead against yours. “But I need to be able to concentrate out there and I can’t do that, not knowing you're there and I can’t protect you.”

“Anakin,” You protested but he interrupted you.

“Please baby,” He whispered, the words desperate as he pleaded with you, he knew he had to stop the Separatists before they could get to you, he couldn’t focus if he had to constantly keep one eye on you.

“Ok.” You said softly, heat rising to your cheeks at the name but you didn’t address it, instead you agreed with him and moved to pull back only for Anakin to pull you back to him.

“If anything happens-” He started but you shook your head, covering the hand cupping your cheek with your own.

“Don’t,” You told him, locking eyes with him, “Don’t, you’re going to be fine, I’m going to be fine.”

“Y/N, you have to know, I have to tell you-”

“Tell me later, yeah? Come find me as soon as you’re done, ok? Tell me then.” You said, turning your face so you could press a kiss to his palm and it was then Obi-Wan finally cleared his throat, he had given you as much time as he could but they really needed to go.

You watched from inside the palace walls as droids filled the city as they attempted to make their way up towards the palace. From this high up you could see bodies of people, see the Clones laying motionless. Your heart ached, you wanted it to be over but not at the cost of joining the Separatists, you would never turn your back on what your parents had fought for.

You might not have wanted this job but it was yours and there was nothing you could do to change that and you would not turn your back on them.

As you watched the fight from the safety of the palace you heard a noise from out in the corridor, a loud bang that had you jumping as you whipped around. Even from here the sound of the droid army marching through the halls was loud. 

You took a deep breath and looked around the room, short of one blaster you didn’t have any weapons on you and had no idea where Anakin was. Looking around the room you cursed as the only exit was the one leading out to the army.

“Where are you Anakin?” You muttered to yourself, the sound of the army getting closer and before you knew it the door crashed open and a flood of droids entered the room. 

You took what little cover you could behind a pillar in the room, darting out and blasting as many of the droids as you could but there were too many, they swarmed the room until you were trapped. 

Then you heard the unmistakable sound of a lightsaber and breathed a sigh of relief. You peeked out from behind the pillar and saw Anakin in the doorway, unable to get to you even with the Force.

“Y/N!” He called and you locked eyes with him, watching in confusion as he threw his lightsaber in your direction, using the Force to make sure it got to you. “Remember what I taught you.” He shouted over the noise and even though you were absolutely terrified you didn’t hesitate to ignite the lightsaber and start dealing with the droids as Anakin used the Force.

“Ahsoka!” You heard him yell but you didn’t look over as she threw him one of her lightsabers' and the three of them got to work on the droids.

Eventually Anakin and you managed to make a path and the two of you stood back to back, lightsabers’ crashing into droids as more seemed to replace them.

“Are you regretting not letting me come with you right now?” You asked over your shoulder, a smile spreading across your face at the look he threw you before slicing through a droid.

“You wanna do this now?” He shot back and you laughed, twirling the lightsaber at a droid before it could shoot Anakin.

“I’m just saying-“ you started, laughing as Anakin cut you off. 

“Well can you just say later, I’d like to get out of this alive if that’s alright with you?” 

Even in the midst of the battle Obi-Wan couldn’t help but pause as he saw you wielding a lightsaber with more expertise than somebody who had never used one should have. 

Just what did you and Anakin get up to when you were alone? 

As the battle outside came to an end with the Clones and your army eventually beating the droid army, more of the Clones joined you in the palace and helped defeat the droids there. 

You were left panting for breath, sweat pooling on your forehead as you slumped against Anakin. Anakin didn’t hesitate to wrap you in his arms, his head falling against yours. Off to the side you could see Obi-Wan clap Ahsoka on the shoulder, murmuring something to her and handing her off to one of the clones whose armour was decorated in blue, one of Anakin’s men your mind supplied distantly. 

“You could pass for a real Jedi.” Anakin laughed softly into your hair causing you to chuckle and shift so you could look up at him, his hand coming up to cup your cheek again.

“What can I say, you’re a good teacher.” You whispered to him, a smirk spreading across your face as he flushed red so prettily.

Before Anakin had the chance to respond a Clone came up and apologised for the interruption but told you that the Chancellor and members of the Senate were waiting for you in the comms room whereas the Jedi were expected to contact the Council.

With a sigh you stepped out of Anakin’s hold but he didn’t let you go far as he caught you hand in his as the two of you walked the length of the room to where the two other Jedi waited. Anakin gave your hand a squeeze before letting go.

“Are you alright, Your Highness?” Obi-Wan asked you and you smiled over at him with a nod. 

“Yes, Master Kenobi, I’m alright. Thank you for all you’ve done for me and my people.” You told him and he smiled back at you, bowing his head slightly.

“It has been my honour.” He told you warmly before shooting Anakin a look and Anakin smiled sheepishly. “Now if you’ll excuse us we must talk with the Council, we should be back shortly.”

“Of course, please take your time. It seems I’ve been summoned before the Senate.” You said with a roll of your eyes causing the Jedi to laugh.

“Oh Snips,” Anakin said suddenly, pulling the lightsaber from where he had rested against his hip. “Thanks for that.” He said handing the lightsaber out to her and once she took it off him you held his out to him with a grin, missing the looks from Obi-Wan and Ahsoka. 

The two of you smiled at each other for a moment longer before you were called by one of the palace staff and you bid the Jedi goodbye before heading to the comms room.

“You taught her to use your lightsaber?” Obi-Wan asked once you were out of sight, turning to Anakin with an incredulous look and Anakin winced slightly. 

“She was curious! You know I can’t say no to her Obi-Wan. Besides, it came in handy, did it not?” Anakin grinned, smiling wider as Obi-Wan shot him an unimpressed look and the three Jedi made their way to one of the empty rooms, ready to fill the Council in on the events.

It felt like hours before the Chancellor finally dismissed you, asking far too many questions than what seemed necessary, a look in his eyes that left you feeling uneasy and all you wanted to do was put these last few days behind you. Not that the coming ones would be much easier but one could hope.

You made your way through the palace, thankfully most of it remained untouched as the droids seemed to know where to go to find you. You had no idea where Anakin was or if he had even finished briefing the Council so you let your feet carry you aimlessly through the halls before wandering out into the palace gardens, a smile making its way onto your face as you saw Anakin sat on one of the benches, already turning as he felt you through the Force.

“You did good today.” He told you, a tired smile pulling at his lips and you wrapped your arms around him, head against his chest, his heart beating strong and steady.

Anakin looked down at you in his arms and smiled wider, wrapping you in his arms and pulling you impossibly closer, content to just hold you, glad for the peace and to have a moment alone with you now the battle was won. 

Having you in his arms was everything he had dreamed about for years now, every night you seemed to visit him, soothing the nightmares, bringing joy to plain old dreams. There hadn’t been a day gone by where he hadn't thought of you, hadn’t longed for you. Over time he become familiar with living with such wanting, never quite growing used to it but learning to carry on with it in his head.

Now he held you close and he knew he wouldn’t be able to just up and leave again, going years without seeing you, without hearing from you. It would kill him, this he was sure about. 

Even after all this time his heart truly still belonged to you.

“Can I tell you now?” He whispered into your hair, feeling you smile into his chest before you pulled back far enough to look at him and nodded, Anakin’s hand coming up to cup your cheek. “I know the Jedi should not fall in love, I know that we should not form attachments but that first day I met you, you started carving out a place for yourself in my heart. We spent months together and then suddenly I had to leave and I was a mess for so long, I missed being by your side. Of course we were only young then so I didn’t realise just what you meant to me but then we came back and you still had this power over me and I realised what it was, I realised you owned my heart, I realised that I loved you, Y/N, I love you so much.”

It had been a long few days, you were running on little to no sleep, the adrenaline had given out at some point during your meeting with the Senate, they were all the excuses you came up with for the sudden stinging in your eyes but truthfully they were tears of relief. 

After everything that had happened it felt like the galaxy was offering you something good, extending the olive branch to get you to trust in it again. Your smile was confirmation enough that you were grabbing onto that branch and never letting go.

“I love you too, Anakin. I longed for the day you would return, though I wish the circumstances were better. I'm just glad you were here to help me carry the burden of these few days. For years I’ve missed you, wondered about you, dreamed of you. I hate that I realised I loved you too late, by the time I had sorted through my feelings you were already long gone back to Coruscant.” Anakin's thumb ran along your cheekbone before he moved it further down your face so he was cupping your jaw and slowly guided your lips close together, giving you a chance to pull away if you wanted to.

Like you could ever do such a thing. 

Instead of waiting for him to close the distance you did it yourself, leaning forward to meet his lips halfway and practically melting into it as he moved his lips against yours. It seemed like every cliché you’d ever read about was occurring, the world around you fading out into nothing, the sparks and fireworks, the butterflies in your stomach, all of it was real as Anakin held you gently in his hands and kissed you.

It was a soft kiss but it still conveyed so much, so much love, so much longing, so much joy and happiness and relief that this was finally happening. 

The two of you only pulled away from each other when the need for air became too much, Anakin resting his forehead against yours, his eyes were brighter than you had ever seen them, a beaming smile spreading across his face as he looked at you with so much love reflecting in your eyes.

Anakin was taken aback by how beautiful you looked, lips slightly swollen and curved into a smile, the love you felt reflected in your own eyes and he knew he could never leave you now. If he thought he was weak before he had been wrong, now that he had had one taste of you there was no way he could live without you.

It would be hard, neither of you were under any illusions that it wouldn’t be. There was still a war going on, one that would no doubt get worse as time passed, there was the matter of the Jedi Code forbidding Anakin from being involved with you at all, there was the matter of your new position as ruler of Astal. 

It would be hard work but both of you were prepared to go through the hard days so long as it meant you had each other. It didn’t matter that it would have to be a secret, it didn't matter that people would disapprove, the two of you were happy, the two of you were practically drowning in love and neither of you was prepared to give that up. 

____

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Ready to Run

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Angstember Prompt -  "I need you to run. Run away and never come back."

Notes - so ooc but I love vaderkin

There were plenty of moments over the last few years where you had figured you should stop searching, that whatever you thought you knew was wrong. You’d hit more dead ends than you could count, every time you came close to something it seemed to be snatched from you. It was always one disappointment after the other but despite everything you carried on.

Obi-Wan had told you what had happened on Mustafar all those years ago. He had told you that Anakin had died, that he had left him there to die but you didn’t believe it. You couldn’t believe it. Not when you still felt something through the Force, something dark and twisted and barely recognisable but no matter how far it strayed from the Light you would always recognise it.

Anakin wasn’t dead.

He couldn’t be.

You refused to believe he could be. For the first year, after Padmé’s funeral, after Obi-Wan had left with the child and the other had been given to Senator Organa, you did nothing. You sat and you mourned for your Master, for the man who had taken you on when you were only a child, barely coming up to his thigh as you accosted him in the training room and forced him to spar with you.

You still remembered those times, you had known Anakin before he was Knighted and yet you knew he was yours. You had never particularly gotten along with your crèche mates and always felt so left out, especially as more and more of them got picked by the older Jedi. You had all been left in the training room, plenty of other Jedi working on the forms but you were only focused on Anakin. 

Your eyes had found him easily in the room and you watched him in wonder as he trained with his Master, moving like he was completely at one with the Force. Of course you were distracted enough that your crèche mates noticed and laughed at you, even back then Anakin was well known throughout the Temple and one of the boys in your group had called you stupid and foolish for even daring to look at Anakin, laughing as he declared you unworthy of any Jedi’s time yet alone Anakin Skywalkers.

You weren’t one to back down though, to let the boy think he had won with his harsh words. Instead you squared your shoulders back and jutted your chin out before turning away from them and walking the length of the room, avoiding the other Jedi as you went, before you stopped in front of Anakin and Master Kenobi.

“Is everything alright, young one?” Master Kenobi asked softly, pausing as he spotted you first and Anakin turned around to face you a second later, raising an eyebrow down at you.

Now that you had actually made your way over here you felt a little nauseous and it felt like the air had been sucked from the room but when you glanced over your shoulder you saw your crèche mates staring at you wide eyed and the boys mouth hung open so you nodded to yourself before turning back to Anakin and Master Kenobi.

“I was wondering, if it’s not a bother,” You started, voice slightly shaky but you forced yourself to continue. “Might I spar with Padawan Skywalker please?” 

Anakin’s eyebrow seemed to raise even higher, surprised at your request as he turned to Obi-Wan who was doing a better job at hiding his own surprise but he could feel his curiosity through their bond. 

‘Well?’ Obi-Wan seemed to ask him wordlessly, cocking his head to the side and Anakin shrugged, sure it wouldn’t be a challenge but their time in the training room wasn’t meant to be, not today, they were only in here to burn off Anakin's excess energy. 

“Of course, young one, my old bones could use a rest anyway.” Master Kenobi told you, his tone light and joking and he smiled at the small giggle you let out.

“What’s your name?” Anakin asked you as he gestured for you to come closer, easily looking over you and seeing a group your age staring over in shocked amazement. 

“Y/N.” You told him softly and Anakin smiled as he crouched down to be at eye level with you, holding a hand out for you to shake, both Obi-Wan and Anakin noticing how you shook slightly as you took his hand.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Anakin.” He told you, still smiling as you, his smile widening as you finally returned the gesture. “Let’s see just what you’ve learnt then.”

From that day on you seemed to attach yourself to Anakin and at first he may have grumbled about it, rolling his eyes at Obi-Wan amused looks, but he had to admit it was nice. He knew the stories that went around about him, most of them were grossly over exaggerated but people believed what they wanted and it had left him isolated from many of his peers, though the fact he hadn’t grown up surrounded by the Jedi didn’t help.

It was nice having you around.

He already knew he was taking you as his Padawan, even when he was Obi-Wan’s Padawan, he trained you. The two of you met two or three nights a week in the training room and you showed Anakin what you had learnt that week and what you struggled with and Anakin was always quick to help and it wasn’t long before your instructors took note of your improvements.

When you weren’t in the training rooms you could be found in Anakin and Obi-Wan quarters, sitting at the table with Anakin by your side as he helped you through homework questions you struggled with. Some areas of learning were so dreadfully dull but Anakin was always able to brighten them up and you found yourself actually remembering his teachings. 

Once Anakin was Knighted he was surprised that it was Master Yoda of all people to be the one to suggest you as his new Padawan, not that Anakin was complaining of course. He immediately jumped at the chance, perhaps a bit too eagerly if the amusement coming from Obi-Wan told him anything.

Not much changed after that though. Anakin had already been planning on meeting you in the training rooms that evening but he cut your training short to lead you back to his chambers where the two of you celebrated and Anakin sat you down close to him as he went about braiding your Padawan braid. 

It wasn’t all that long into being his Padawan that the Clone Wars started and you, as Anakin’s Padawan, seemed to be thrust into the midst of it. Anakin always kept you close to him, warning you not to stray from his side unless it was life or death, always hating the war much more when you were in the danger zone. Sometimes you couldn’t be with him constantly on the battlefield and those times you were instructed to stay close to Rex or Obi-Wan, both of whom protected you as fiercely as Anakin did.

Your training grew every day, of course it had no choice but to when you were up against the droid army or, on several terrifying occasions, General Grievous himself. Some days when the war became too overwhelming your thoughts wandered back to when you had first met Anakin, when you had inserted yourself into his life. Even now as the war went on and Anakin became the poster boy, getting sent out on the most dangerous missions and bringing you along, you didn’t regret it, if you could do it all over again you would always choose Anakin. 

But times like this, times when you reached out into the Force, times when you woke up in pain, feeling too much anger and too much hatred flowing through your veins you couldn’t help but doubt that decision.

You shook your head, panting into wakefulness and began breathing through the anger you knew wasn’t yours. Somehow, even after whatever had happened to Anakin, the bond between you was still very much alive. In the first year it was quiet, leaving you alone in your head for the first time since Anakin had braided your hair gently but then whatever wall that had been built up seemed to fall down and you were overwhelmed with so many Dark feelings.

It took longer than it should to realise they weren’t yours, to realise that you hadn’t survived everything just to turn to the Dark Side now. 

Once you realised it was Anakin you had to brace yourself against the wall to keep yourself upright because Obi-Wan had told you Anakin was gone. Had he lied? Did he not know? You debated telling Obi-Wan, you were sure you could find a way to comm him or just go to Tatooine yourself but you decided against it.

Obi-Wan had been devastated by the loss of Anakin. It had truly taken a toll on him, a toll you hadn’t even seen during the war. You weren’t sure you wanted to tell Obi-Wan that you could still feel Anakin, not when it was so dark and twisted.

No, you had thought to yourself, better to wait until I find Anakin.

But you had been looking for years, years spent hiding your true nature, years spent desperately trying to follow the pull of the Force, begging it to lead you to Anakin and though it never had you didn’t give up hope even though some days you came close to it.

You would find Anakin Skywalker.

And then one day, completely by chance, you stumbled across a ship. It didn’t feel like Anakin but it did feel like the anger you felt deep in your veins, it felt like the bone deep pain that had tears filling your eyes and you wondering just how Anakin dealt with it. 

The door was closing and you had a split second to make a decision. With a little help from the Force you easily slipped in before the door slammed shut, trapping you on the ship. 

It wasn’t until you glanced around for a hiding spot that you paused.

Stormtroopers. This was the Empire.

Oh Anakin, you thought to yourself, feeling a wave of sadness run through you but it didn’t last long before it was replaced with…was that annoyance? Seconds later the bond seemed to fill with confusion and you struggled to figure out if it was yours or Anakin’s.

In the entire time you had felt Anakin you had never felt anything but anger, frustration, pain, loneliness...never anything else. Maybe he was on this ship, maybe they were keeping him prisoner and that’s why he was in so much pain all the time. The closeness had always allowed Anakin and you to share feelings through your bond much easier than when you were at a distance, it made sense that the bond still followed that rule no matter how corrupt one side of it was.

There was another part of your mind, one that you tried to cut off before it could whisper its thoughts into your head that told you another reason as to what Anakin could be doing on an Imperial ship. You couldn’t- you refused to believe it. Anakin wouldn’t do that, at least not the Anakin you had known but that was before he fell. 

Shut up, you whispered to yourself as you made your way further into the ship. Anakin’s confusion was growing stronger, as was his annoyance and you couldn’t help but grin. It was nice to feel something else through the bond, it made Anakin feel like Anakin again. You resisted the urge to send your own feelings flowing through the bond, not yet sure if he knew it was you he was feeling.

You were so focused on the bond that you only realised a second too late that a stormtrooper was rounding a corner, slamming straight into you and sending you falling to the floor. The trooper immediately raised his gun and called for backup and you were surrounded before your hand could touch your lightsaber.

Two of the stormtroopers forced you onto your feet and you struggled against them to no avail. 

“Take her to the cells, I’ll alert Lord Vader to the intruder.” One of the troopers said and the two holding you nodded and began to drag you along as fear filled you. 

You’d heard the stories and seen the aftermath of Vader’s work. It was terrible and cruel and always left you feeling cold whenever you ended up on a planet Vader had left in ruins. 

You had also heard of what he did to prisoners and desperately tried to break the troopers hold of you long enough for you to grab your lightsaber. There wouldn’t be much you could do if you did get free, by now the ship was already moving through hyperspace, but you could hide and take down as many stormtroopers as possible until the ship landed.

Unfortunately that plan would have to be scrapped as you were thrown into the small holding cell, the door slamming shut behind you and you cursed silently at your poor decision making. Now you were at Vader’s mercy and you weren’t holding out much hope of Vader coming to your aid.

You don’t know how long you sat there, crossed legged on the floor with your eyes closed as you focused on your bond with Anakin. From his side you could feel anger again but the annoyance was still there as was a small bit of curiosity that you really had to focus on to feel. 

You let the feel of Anakin wash over you even if he was darker than you remembered him being. Beneath the corruption and the tar like darkness that seemed to cling to him was Anakin Skywalker. It was faint but he was there and you knew you could help him, help him as he had helped you thousands of times over. You just had to get out of this kriffing cell to find him.

For the second time in as many minutes you were so focused on your bond with Anakin that you missed the movement in front of you. This time instead of a stormtrooper it was the door of your cell opening. It only took you a second longer to open your eyes, your mouth going dry as there before you stood Darth Vader.

He towered over you, even more so since you were sitting on the floor. The black cape hung around him and made him look more intimidating. Then there was the breathing filling the silence, the mechanical, steady breathing that sent a shiver down your spine.

He didn’t speak, not even when the door shut behind him. You wished you could see his expression, wished the helmet was gone so you had half a clue as to what to expect but instead you were left staring at the expressionless helmet, giving nothing away.

Even with your fear and anxiety you still felt Anakin through the bond, perhaps more strongly than you had ever before. There were a wide range of emotions running wild within him, all pushing their way through the bond and making you feel them. He was confused, he was hurting, he was worried, he was angry, he was sad, he was terrified.

You hadn’t felt Anakin be fearful since the bond opened itself up again and now that you had it sent a cold feeling to your stomach, gone was any concern for your current situation and in its place was worry for Anakin.

So much worry in fact that you had momentarily forgotten about Vader until he spoke, the single word causing you to jump.

“Y/N?” He asked, his voice completely devoid of emotion thanks to the modulator.

How in Sith’s hell did Vader know your name?

Then suddenly the wave of fear and terror rolling from Anakin’s side of the bond seemed to grow and you couldn’t decide what to focus on. Probably best to focus on Vader first, Anakin could wait a while longer.

“What are you doing here?” Vader hissed at you, or it was as well as somebody with a robotic modulator could hiss. His words had you staring up at him, fear slowly slipping away and replaced by confusion. “Answer me!”

Suddenly, almost as if somebody had flipped a switch, you put the pieces together. You almost slapped yourself for not figuring it out sooner but then again you didn’t want it to be true, you couldn’t believe it but the proof was here.

Anakin was here.

“Anakin?” You asked, voice barely a whisper, the sound seemingly pulled from your throat as your voice broke on the word.

“Do not call me that.” He said and a choked sob slipped out of you, tears filled your eyes as you pushed yourself onto your feet, all fear gone now as you took a step closer to him.

“Tell me it’s not true.” You whispered, hoping you’d open your eyes and it would just be another nightmare that plagued you. From Anakin’s side of the bond you felt sadness and let out another sob. “Kriff Anakin, I’ve been searching for you for years and all along you were…”

“You shouldn’t be here.” His voice seemed quieter, like behind the helmet he was talking softly and you wished more than anything that the helmet would go, you wanted to see him.

“I was looking for you.” You told him again, swallowing around the lump in your throat and Anakin lifted his hand. You should have been scared, how many times had he raised his hand to Force choke innocents? But you weren’t scared and you had no reason to be, not when he brought his hand to your cheek and brushed away a tear that fell from your eye.

“You shouldn’t have come.” He told you and you hated the robotic, emotionless tone of his voice, you wanted to hear Anakin, your Anakin. “I can’t risk him knowing you’re here, Y/N. What he does to Jedi- I won’t let that happen to you.”

“Anakin-” You began but he cut you off.

“I’m not Anakin, not anymore.” He said and you shook your head, lips twitching as Anakin’s thumb brushed your cheekbone. “The ship is ready to land, when I say run I need you to run. Run away and never come back, Y/N.”

“Anakin, I can’t leave you here.” You cried, bringing your hand to wrap around his gloved one but he shushed you before you could protest more.

“This is who I am now. You can’t save me this time, Y/N/N, but you can let me save you. Let me do one thing right.” He begged and you could feel his pain as strongly as your own.

“Anakin, please.” You whispered and Anakin brought his head down, the helmet gently knocking against your forehead and you let out another sob.

“I’ll always be with you, our connection is strong.” Anakin told you, his voice as soft as it could be through the modulator and you let out another sob before you forced yourself to take a deep breath and nodded against him.

Anakin held you against him for a few seconds longer before he pulled away and you felt the ship land. You had no idea where you were but you would do as Anakin instructed, one last moment with your Master, one last chance to follow his instructions before he disappeared from your life again.

“Ready to run?” He asked quietly, the door to your cell opened and he led you out, watching as you took another breath and nodded. “Good, don’t stop running. We're on Irilla, you shouldn’t have any trouble hiding.”  

“Thank you Anakin.” You whispered after you passed a group of stormtroopers.

Anakin didn’t say anything else, he couldn’t risk being overheard, not when any of his small indiscretions always seem to make their way up to Sidious. If Sidious knew about you, knew that you had the ability to bring the small bit of Light inside him forward, he knew Sidious would see to it that you were killed and that was the best outcome, Sidious wouldn’t be so quick about it.

Anakin knew he had no choice, he would gladly take on whatever punishment Sidious chose to inflict upon him for letting a Jedi go. Thankfully the stormtroopers didn’t know you to recognise just who you were to Anakin so Sidious would only believe it had been a random Jedi. 

He could work with that.

The ship doors opened and he led you off it, the planet was cold and dark but it was filled with seedy characters conducting even seedier business and Anakin knew you’d be able to hide amongst them for a few days before finding yourself a way off this planet. 

He ordered the troopers to start unloading the ship and discreetly gestured for you to follow him, dismissing the two troopers who tried to follow him. He led you into the forest, knowing there was a city not too far away, you would be safe there.

“You have to go now.” Anakin told you, knowing you could feel his pain through the bond as he watched your nose crinkle as you tried to push away tears.

“Come with me.” You pleaded and he smiled behind the helmet, wishing he could but he had made his decision. One day, maybe, he would come and find you if you kept the bond open. One day he would make his move against Sidious and be free of the man but for now he had a role to play and you couldn’t be anywhere near as he played it.

“We’ll see each other again, my dear Padawan.” He told you, bringing his hand to your cheek and resting his helmet against your forehead again. “One day this will all be over and we will find each other but you have to stay away for now, stay far away and stay safe.”

“I promise.” You whispered, forcing down a sob. “Stay safe, Anakin, may the Force be with you.” 

Anakin held you against him for a moment longer and you nodded at him before turning to run towards the city. Anakin felt cold but he also felt something he hadn’t felt in a very long time.

He felt hope.

“May the Force be with you, my Padawan.” He murmured to himself, knowing that he would see his plan to the end if only so he could find you again.

______

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Haunted

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Prompt - ‘You and I walk a fragile line, I have known it all this time, never ever thought I'd see it break. Never thought I'd see it.’

For years both you and Anakin had known you walked a fragile line, at first it wasn’t too obvious, how could it have been when the two of you were just children? The years spent growing up together, side by side were filled with the best of memories but what you didn’t know was the Jedi Council was always watching the blossoming friendship, always weary of how far it would grow.

It wasn’t until you were years older that you realised the scrutiny you were under, even if nobody outright acknowledged it, everybody knew. There were whispers in the halls of you and Anakin, ones that neither of you helped with considering how your friendship grew stronger and stronger each day. You and Anakin were inseparable, you did everything together, you trained together, you ran off together to explore the city, you went on missions together.

The Jedi Council could see the attachment that was growing but just as they were about to put a stop to it, to put some plan into place that would force you and Anakin apart, the Clone Wars began and not even the Jedi Council, much as they wished they could, could deny the fact that you and Anakin were a force to be reckoned with when you fought together.

So whilst they didn't trust this growing attachment they couldn’t do anything but send the two of you off to fight alongside each other, knowing that the risk of your attachment growing was outweighed by the war hanging over them.

The Clone Wars saw you and Anakin somehow spending even more time at each other’s side, fighting back to back for months on end. It wasn’t a surprise to either of you when you both finally caved, it had been a bad mission from the get-go, one that saw you and Rex taken and tortured for days before Anakin and the rest of the 501st could get to you.

Anakin had carried you onto the ship after slaughtering anybody who had stood in his way of getting to you, uncaring of the fact he knew he’d have to answer to the Council later for going against their direct orders to come and rescue you but their plan would have left you with the Pyke’s for days longer and he refused to do that.

He didn’t leave your side as Kix worked to patch up the injuries you’d received and Anakin barely held his anger in check, the ones who had hurt you were dead and you needed him more now. By the time you were blinking awake Anakin had managed to calm himself, smiling at you and assuring you everything was fine even as his heart raced and he remembered the fear that coursed through him each day you were gone.

When Kix finally gave you the all clear Anakin wrapped his arm around you despite your, admittedly weak protests that you were fine. You felt much better but you were never going to push Anakin’s touch away. You let Anakin lead you to his quarters on the ship, both of you needing to be close to one another after the past few days.

It wasn’t until you were in bed together, nothing unusual especially since the Clone Wars began, you and Anakin had often shared a sleeping space. Anakin had you in his arms, finally calm as he listened to you breathe evenly against his chest. He pressed his lips to your head and murmured soft words against your hair, telling you how scared he had been, how he couldn’t lose you.

It was only when you turned your head to look up at him, your expression so full of understanding, of shared fear of what could happen during the War, of love. Anakin could hardly have stopped himself, he’d been so good keeping to himself, knew the kind of scrutiny you were under at the Temple, but here on the ship it was just the two of you, no need to pretend that there were no feelings between the two of you.

That night was spent trading lazy kisses and smiles full of so much happiness, years of feelings finally allowed to be felt.

Of course neither of you were foolish, you knew the risks of a secret relationship, knew it was a dangerous game to play. Away from Coruscant it was easier to manage and whilst you weren’t foolish, you weren’t always all too good at keeping away from each other. Thankfully the Clones were capable of keeping secrets they learnt out on the field a secret from those back home, something you and Anakin were immensely grateful for after being caught locked at the lips by more than one trooper.

Being back in Coruscant was challenging, especially when you were there for longer stretches of time which was becoming few and far between as the war stretched on. It seemed like since the Clone Wars began everyone was keeping an even closer eye on you each time you returned home. The sneaking around and all the risks that came with being together were worth it, especially when you got to spend your nights together.

The two of you talked about everything but the topic you liked most was what you would do when the Clone Wars were won. If Anakin had asked you months ago, before the Clone Wars began, you would have left the Order to be with him, of that you had no doubt. Now both of you were a part of a fight, one neither of you would walk away from until it was finished, but it didn’t stop you dreaming of a life together far, far away.

So many different ideas got tossed around but the one you liked most was a quiet life together, just you and Anakin, a little house that was just yours, away from the questioning eyes of the Council, away from people judging if your feelings for Anakin were wrong. Both you and Anakin had made such promises and plans for the future, neither one of you believing that your relationship could break, there was so much love there that the thought was impossible.

And the thought only became more and more unthinkable as years passed, both of you had grown a lot in the years of the Clone Wars. You really had no choice but to adapt, to toughen your emotions but it only made you and Anakin lean on each other even more, the longer the war lasted the more you tried to hold on hope of the future you whispered about in the early hours of the morning.

But there was a shift in the Force that had you on edge, had you feeling like you couldn’t trust anybody. Anakin felt it too, you know he did but he refused to talk about it with you. You didn’t think too much of it at first, the war was dragging everybody down but Anakin was still angry and lost with the loss of Ahsoka, the shift in the Force only making his mood worse.

Each day passed and you could feel the power of the Dark Side growing more and more, leaving you feeling cold and hopeless for the future of the war. Anakin was going off more and more these days, something that had you raising an eyebrow since the two of you were practically always together, now it felt like you hardly saw him.

When you did finally see him again it was to greet Ahsoka, the young ex-Padawan looking so much more grown up than she had only a few short years ago. Somehow it felt like this war had been going on for much longer than three years, it felt like it was all you’d ever known. Anakin had looked tired and only gave you the bare minimum of responses but when Ahsoka finally arrived his whole face lit up and you couldn’t help the sad smile that pulled at your lips, you really couldn’t wait for this war to be over.

It wasn’t much later than that when Ahsoka was leaving with Rex and half of the 501st that Anakin excused himself after glancing down at his comm, murmuring something about meeting with the Chancellor. You barely suppressed an eyeroll, something about the man had always set you on edge but you’d never been able to figure out why. Anakin had always told you what a great man he was, wise and willing to teach him, but you never bought into the kind, grandfather act.

You let your thoughts wander until Cody came to alert you that Obi-Wan had received a message asking for you and him to meet with the Council, Anakin already there before you arrived with news to share. Hearing him say that the Jedi finally had their chance with Grievous had you feeling a spark of hope, one you hadn’t felt for a while, Ahsoka was on her way to attempt to capture Darth Maul and if the Jedi were successful then this war could be over.

“The Chancellor has requested that I lead the campaign to capture Grievous.” Anakin said and you frowned slightly, looking around the room and seeing the immediate disagreement, quietly sighing knowing it wouldn’t go over well with Anakin.

“No,” Master Windu said, not wasting time, “the Chancellor does not get to decide on these matters.”

“Agree, I do.” Master Yoda said and you watched Anakin’s face shift into a cold, emotionless look. “A master, we shall send.”

It wasn’t even a conversation that needed happening, one Master said Obi-Wan was the Jedi for the job and everybody agreed.

“Skywalker, your mission is to…observe the Chancellor, he won’t suspect anything amiss since he trusts you.” Master Windu said and you watched Anakin frown.

“Suspect? You want me to spy on the Chancellor? What reason do you have for this request?” Anakin exclaimed and you couldn’t help the quiet sigh that escaped you.

“Nothing concrete yet, nothing that you need to concern yourself with, just watch the Chancellor.” Master Windu commanded before turning to you. “Y/L/N, you will accompany Master Kenobi to Utapau and assist with the takedown of General Grievous.”

“And now you’re not even letting me and Y/N work together? You only wished to send a Master to Utapau and now you’re letting her go.” Anakin interrupted but both you and Master Windu ignored him. “Send me to Utapau instead, there is no need to spy on the Chancellor!”

“Of course, Master Windu.” You agreed and Anakin turned to look at you in disbelief, you could all see he was gearing up to say something but you spoke before he could. “If me and Anakin could be dismissed, I’d like to talk to him before our missions?”

“Of course Y/N,” Obi-Wan said softly, a tired smile pulling at his lips. “I’ll have Cody prepare the ship, join us as soon as possible.”

With that you nodded towards the Master’s before gesturing for Anakin to follow you out of the room who did so with a small huff. You lead him to an empty room, making  sure the door closed behind you before you went to talk but before you could Anakin beat you to it.

“Can you believe this?” He huffed again, pacing the room with his arms crossed. “They suspect the Chancellor is a part of something, it’s ridiculous I’ve known the man since I was a child, he just wants to help. Not only that but they want to tear us apart, I won’t let them do it, Y/N!”

“Anakin,” You said slowly, taking a step back towards the door, there was anger coming from Anakin you had never felt before, he was practically radiating burning rage and it felt like it was trying to wrap around you, consume you, to the point where it was almost overwhelming. “I can’t speak for the Council’s decision to observe the Chancellor but for them to think it necessary then something must have happened-”

“Nothing happened, Y/N! Can’t you see, this is just another plan to keep us apart.” You couldn’t help but frown at the words, Anakin kept repeating them, convinced the Council had finally decided to put a stop to yours and Anakin’s bond.

“Anakin, we’re fighting a war! The Council couldn’t care less what we get up to in our free time, not right now. Can’t you feel it Anakin, the war is coming to an end,” You told him desperately trying to dispel some of his anger, stepping forward and wrapping your hands around his crossed arms, “after that what they have to say won’t matter. We’ll have done our part, we’ve fought this war for so long but soon it’ll be done and we can pick one of the thousand lives we’ve wished for and make it our own.”

“They’ll never allow us to do that, you have to see they want to take you away from me.” You had never understood why the Jedi forbid relationships, in the whole time you had known Anakin, in the time you’d had with him you had never felt anything bad from your bond but right here with him you could see why the Jedi forbid attachments. There was something unsettling about the possessive, almost dark look in Anakin’s eyes, the way his pupils widened until you could barely see the colour surrounding it. “Why else would they send you with Obi-Wan?”

“They’re sending me with Obi-Wan because he’s preparing to take on Grievous, he’ll need backup. If I suddenly showed up at the Chancellor's office don’t you think he’d get suspicious?” You said, keeping your voice clear and calm even though you felt anything but.

“Do you want to be with me, Y/N?” Anakin asked suddenly and you couldn’t help but frown.

“Don’t ask stupid questions, Anakin. You know I love you more dearly than anything.” You told him honestly, even with this dark cloud that seemed to hang over him, you hoped it was just because the end of the war was approaching and that once it was won everything would go back to normal.

“Stay with me then. Obi-Wan has the 212th, they’ll be his backup.” Anakin pleaded but you were already shaking your head.

Before you could say anything though you comm went off and Anakin’s face darkened as Obi-Wan’s voice filled the room.

“Y/N, we’re ready on the ship.” He told you, “Do be quick, I’d like to capture Grievous quickly without giving him a chance to escape again.”

“Don’t go with him, he wants to keep us apart.” Anakin told you but you shook your head again.

“I’ll be right there, Master Kenobi.” You said softly into your comm and suddenly Anakin’s hand was around your wrist, holding tightly to him. “Anakin, let go of me.”

Anakin didn’t say anything, just stared at you with a dark look on his face. You held his gaze until he released your arm with a sigh and you didn’t waste any time before leaving the room, not looking back as you made your way to the hangar bay where Obi-Wan waited with the 212th.

“Ready to end a war, Y/N?” Obi-Wan asked as you joined him on the ship, the warm smile on his face such a sharp contrast to the fiery, dark look on Anakin’s.

There was no time to think about that now though, Obi-Wan was right, it was time to end a war. General Grievous was so close, if today went well the war would be over, peace would spread across the galaxy and you would happily leave the Order behind to start a new life with Anakin.

“Let’s do it, Master.” You grinned at him, pushing all thoughts of Anakin out of your head for the moment.

Everything would work out just fine.

It wasn’t the longest battle you had ever fought but it was tiring, thankfully the exhaustion was beat out by the excitement, knowing that you were so close to the end gave you all the energy you needed.

Just as Grievous threw you aside, the air leaving your lungs as you crashed into the wall, you lifted your head up, watching as Obi-Wan clung to the ledge. You watched as he used the Force, drawing a blaster into his fist before he took the shot at Grievous with no hesitation.

You could only stare wide eyed as Obi-Wan kept shooting until there was nothing left but useless remains of Grievous, a breath of relief, of disbelief leaving you. That was it, that was what was needed, the war was won.

“So uncivilised.” Obi-Wan said as he threw the gun causing you to laugh and he immediately walked past Grievous' remains and held a hand out for you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder once you were up and wincing.

“Congratulations, Obi-Wan, you just won a war.” You grinned at him, both of you beaming happily, waiting for years for this moment and it was finally here.

“I couldn’t have done it without your help, young one.” Obi-Wan chuckled, “come, let us go and assist Cody and the others.”

Obi-Wan and you quickly made your way over to Cody, letting him know the news and prepared to make quick work of the rest of the battle so you could return to Coruscant together. As you and Obi-Wan made your way up towards the higher levels you were stopped by blasts directed at you, the fall and then the shock of the water startling you.

“Obi-Wan!” You yelled as you re-emerged from the water, coughing as you looked around. Obi-Wan came up for air seconds later, yelling at you to follow him and he tossed you an aquata breather.

“Come on, we must get to a ship and find out what’s happening.” Obi-Wan whispered once the two of you were a safe enough distance away, Obi-Wan climbing out of the water first, beginning the climb up the wall, holding a hand out to help you up too.

It didn’t take you long to get back to the surface, you and Obi-Wan sharing a glance once you realised it was the Clones that were targeting you. Obi-Wan put a finger to his mouth, gesturing for you to stay quiet before motioning for you to follow him.

It wasn’t long before the two of you got to a ship, both of you climbing in and Obi-Wan didn’t waste any time getting the two of you off of Utapau. You were breathing heavily by the time Obi-Wan had the ship off the planet, the Master immediately taking control of the situation in a way only he knew how to do, sending out an emergency code in a clear and calm voice, the complete opposite to your shaky hands and panting breaths.

Listening to Senator Organa tell you that it wasn’t just the 212th that had turned against the Jedi but it seemed to be every Battalion sent an ache through your heart. For years the Jedi had fought side by side with these troopers, they had become family and to have them turn on you all, it was like you could feel each loss.

The journey to Master Yoda was a silent one, both you and Obi-Wan lost in your heads, thoughts racing a mile a minute. How had things gone so wrong in the span of a few hours, this battle on Utapau was meant to win you the war, it was supposed to be cause for celebration, not whatever this was.

“Good to see you, it is, Master Kenobi, Young Y/N.” Yoda greeted as you and Obi-Wan boarded the ship.

“Master Yoda, thank the Force you’re alright.” You said as you made your way over to him and the Senator, leaning into Bail’s touch as he set a steadying hand on your shoulder.

“How many other Jedi survived?” Obi-Wan asked as Master Yoda gestured for you all to follow him.

“Heard from no one, have we.” Master Yoda told you both and Bail told you of the attack on the Temple and on Coruscant, thousands of troopers attacking and killing any Jedi inside, killing the younglings without a shred of mercy. You stopped walking suddenly causing Obi-Wan to walk into the back of you and call your name but you were staring down at Master Yoda with wide, watery eyes, shaking your head.

“What about Anakin?” You choked out around the sudden lump in your throat. “You’ve heard from Anakin right?”

“Only hope, can we, remains safe, young Skywalker does.” Master Yoda said, suddenly sounding older and more tired than you had ever heard him before.

You stumbled backwards into Obi-Wan’s chest, the man’s hands coming up to your arms to steady you and you immediately turned and buried your head into his chest, sobs wracking your body as he held you close.

“It doesn’t make sense, we know the troopers, we’ve fought at their side for years! Why would they suddenly turn on us?” You cried into his chest and Obi-Wan shushed you, his hand rubbing up and down your back as he looked down at Master Yoda.

“Have we heard anything from the Temple?” He asked, trying to stay strong, stay composed because right now he needed to be a Jedi Master, he could fall apart later.

You listened to the rest of the conversation, hearing the others tell Obi-Wan that all Jedi have been requested back to the Temple, shaking your head into his chest. You heard Obi-Wan say you must go back and stop others from walking into a trap, the two Jedi agreeing that dismantling the code was the only course of action.

You didn’t care about any of that though, all you could do was close your eyes and reach out with the Force. There was far too much distance between you and Anakin but it didn’t stop you from trying to find him, from pleading with him to meet you halfway through your connection and just show you he was alive.

The answering silence sent a wave of fear crashing through you, Anakin couldn’t be dead…he just couldn’t be.

You let yourself be guided into a seat at the front of the ship, only half aware of the plan to sneak into the Jedi Temple whilst Palpatine held a meeting with the Senate. There was an overwhelming amount of anxiety coursing through you on the journey to Coruscant, knowing that if Anakin wasn’t there then the troopers must have gotten to him first. You knew Anakin was a skilled fighter, one of the best Jedi you’d ever met, but even he would be caught off guard by the Clones suddenly attacking.

When you were landed you were forced to snap back to reality, the Temple was guarded by Clones and every one you took down sent an ache through you, especially when you saw their helmets telling you it was the 501st you were fighting, but eventually you were inside the Temple, following closely behind Obi-Wan and Master Yoda as you walked the halls, trying not to look down at the younglings, not until Master Yoda announced they had been killed by a lightsaber.

The security codes were taken care of by Obi-Wan, whilst he and Master Yoda spoke quietly together you couldn’t help but wander over to the displays. Glancing around to see them occupied, you pressed some buttons to access the security recordings, using Obi-Wan’s password to see them.

All you had to do was press play and you would see who had done this, see if you could see any traces of Anakin and prayed to the Force he had managed to escape.

You held your breath as you started the footage, forwarding through the holo recording before stopping, letting it play at normal speed. Tears filled your eyes, a choked gasp escaping you as you stumbled back, like somehow putting distance between you and the recording would make it less real.

It couldn’t be real, Anakin wasn’t capable of that. You believed that with your whole being and yet the proof was playing out before you. You couldn’t stop the sob that left you, knees buckling and you would have fallen to the floor if Obi-Wan had been there to catch you and keep you up right.

Obi-Wan finally turned the footage off when Anakin was pronounced as Lord Vader, shaking his head and pulling you closer to him.

“Destroy the Sith, we must.” Master Yoda said and you pulled away from Obi-Wan, tears staining your cheeks.

“You can’t kill Anakin!” You protested just as Obi-Wan told the other Jedi he couldn’t kill his old Padawan but Master Yoda gave neither of you a choice in the matter, saying it was too late for Anakin, he was gone and only this new Dark version remained.

You couldn’t believe it, you refused to believe it. Not when you knew Anakin better than you knew yourself, not when you had been there when the war became too much and held him against your chest as he cried for all those who had fallen under his command. Not when you had seen his whole face lit up as he snuck the two of you out of the Temple, not when you had felt him hold you so gently, whispering sweet nothings into your hair, so soft and sweet with you.

He couldn’t be gone.

Of course you had known something had changed in the past few months, especially more over the last few days but surely you couldn’t have missed so much that Anakin had fallen to the Dark Side. No, you couldn’t believe that. Master Yoda might have been so ready to give up on Anakin but you weren’t, you knew there had to be some light left in him, Anakin always seemed to shine so brightly, the Darkness couldn’t engulf it all.

“Young Y/N,” Master Yoda said as he turned to leave, “gone is the man you knew. From your attempts to bring him back, only pain and death and suffering will come. What you know is right, do, for the galaxy.”

You didn’t say anything and he walked away without expecting a reply, leaving you and Obi-Wan alone with your memories of a bright boy you both loved deeply, neither of you ready to believe what you had seen.

You let Obi-Wan take the lead, waiting alone for him to tell you he had found Anakin and when he did he gave you a choice.

“I understand if you do not wish to come,” He said softly, you following him out to the ship and trying not to cry again. “I would hardly blame you for wishing to stay away but you may just be the one who is able to bring Anakin back.”

It wasn’t a difficult choice and you boarded the ship alongside Obi-Wan, not bothering to ask where you were going. You were silent for a long time, thoughts running wild before you spoke.

“What did you mean, I might be the one to bring Anakin back?” You asked quietly, turning to look at Obi-Wan, the man keeping his gaze out the window.

“Please do have some respect for my intelligence, Y/N.” Obi-Wan said softly, a small smile that didn’t meet his eyes pulling at his lips as he turned to look at you. “Do you really believe you and Anakin have been so discreet that I haven’t noticed? Of course I know the two of you are together. I know that he would have left the Order for you had you asked and I know you’d have done the same for him.”

“You never said anything.” You said after a few moments of silence, of course Obi-Wan knew and of course he had never given you away to the Council.

“I care deeply for you both, I only wanted you both to be happy.” Was Obi-Wan’s reply before the ship filled with silence again, a planet could be seen in the distance and you took a deep breath, preparing yourself for whatever awaited you on the fiery planet.

“There he is.” Obi-Wan said once you landed, watching a hooded figure leaving the building and you stood first, stopping Obi-Wan before he could stand.

“Let me talk to him first, please Obi-Wan.” You begged him, eyes wide and watery and Obi-Wan hesitated for a moment, eyes darting out of the window before settling back on you.

“Fine but if anything goes wrong I want you to leave me to deal with it, you get back on the ship.” Obi-Wan said, his tone leaving no room for disagreement and you nodded, not wanting to hurt Anakin.

If it came to it you didn’t envy what Obi-Wan would have to do.

“Good luck, Y/N.” Obi-Wan murmured as he opened the hatch and you made your way off the ship, meeting Anakin as he came down the stairs.

“Y/N!” He called, marching over to you and engulfing you in his arms.

Despite everything you had seen, despite the proof so clearly shown to you, you couldn’t help but sink into his arms, gripping his robes between your fingers and crying silently into his chest. Anakin hushed you, feeling your shoulders shaking against him as he tucked you under his chin, his lips pressed to your head.

“I’m so glad you’re safe.” He whispered into your hair and you shook your head, allowing yourself one more moment, one more moment to memorise the way his arms felt around you, the way he felt so strong and steady and desperately hoped this worked out, that you could have this moment again.

“Anakin, what are you doing here?” You cried as you stepped out of his arms, Anakin’s hands not leaving you as they settled on your forearms. “Tell me none of it is true and I’ll believe you.”

“None of what is true?” He asked, his tone deep and cold, sending a shudder through you.

Deep down you knew all of it to be true but until you heard it from Anakin you could let yourself hope.

“Tell me you didn’t fall to the Dark Side, tell me the death and destruction, the killing of the younglings, tell me none of it was you. Tell me you are not this Darth Vader.” You pleaded with him, watching his eyes go cold as his expression hardened. “Please Anakin, please I’m begging you, tell me it isn’t true.”

“I did this for you, Y/N!” Anakin told you, tightening his grip on you. “Don’t you see that, all of this was for us, for you. The Jedi, they are not to be trusted anymore, now the galaxy belongs to us, Y/N! There’s nothing the Council can do anymore, they can’t take you away from me.”

Your blood turned cold and it felt like your heart had stopped. It was all true, you had known it, but now you couldn’t deny it, couldn’t hope that there was some misunderstanding, some deception. It was all true.

“Anakin,” you sobbed, taking a step back and forcing his hands to drop from your arms. “I don’t want this, I don’t want the galaxy. I just want you, Anakin, that is all I ever wanted.”

“And we can have that. With the Jedi gone we are free, don’t you see it? They were going to take you from me, force us apart but now they can’t.” Anakin told you, trying to make you see reason like you were the one who was being unreasonable. “You’re mine, Y/N! I’d kill anyone that tried to take you from me. I won’t lose you.”

“Whatever the Chancellor has told you, whatever he has filled your head with, it’s all lies!” You told him, desperate to break through, to find that small sliver of Light you hoped to be buried within him somewhere. “It’s all lies, nobody was going to take you away from me, I promise. We had a plan, remember, fight the war side by side and then we would do what we wanted with the rest of our lives. We had victory in our fingertips, Anakin, Grievous is dead, we could have gone anywhere, left the Order behind peacefully.”

“They wouldn’t have let that happen!” Anakin protested and you forced yourself closer to him, cupping his cheek and bringing his forehead down to rest of yours, Anakin’s hands automatically wrapping around your waist.

“Of course they would, Ahsoka left and they let her. We were so close, Anakin, none of this destruction was needed. We could have left.” You told him brokenly, tears still sliding down your face. “Stop this now, stop this madness and we can leave together, just take a ship and leave together, we’ll find our own corner of the galaxy, we don’t need it all.”

Anakin was silent for a moment before he looked behind you and you cursed silently when you heard him mutter Obi-Wan’s name.

“I knew it! They want to tear us apart!” Anakin roared and you took a step closer to him.

Anakin-”

“Don’t, you’re a liar! You would just let them take you from me!” He cried out and you moved back when you felt his anger and rage in the Force, the strength of it almost knocking you down.

“Anakin, I love you, I love you more dearly than anything else. Stop this, please, just stop this. We can leave together, Obi-Wan can tell them you won’t be a problem anymore, all of it can be forgotten.” You knew even as you spoke that your words were a lie, the image of Anakin slaughtering your fellow Jedi, slaughtering dozens of younglings, without a shred of mercy was seared into your head.

It seemed Anakin knew your words were a lie too.

“I did this for you, Y/N! You’re all I wanted, all I ever wanted, I couldn’t let them take you.” He told you again, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe you couldn’t see it.

“Don’t put your actions on my head, Anakin. Don’t force me to blame myself for the death of the Jedi, the destruction of the galaxy.” You told him, tone firm but soft. “I never asked for this. I wanted us to fight the Clone Wars, to fight alongside our troops and restore peace in the galaxy and then I wanted to just leave the Order behind us. Nobody would have stopped us. Everything could have been different, Anakin. Why would you walk away from everything we had, from everything we ever spoke and dreamt of?”

“Y/N, I know of their plans, they were never going to let us see each other after the war. I saw it! Just the visions alone were enough to drive me mad, to actually live it, to not have you at my side-”

“Don’t you see, Anakin, none of it was real. The Chancellor, Darth Sidious, whatever he calls himself, he was manipulating you, using any means necessary to get you where he wanted you. Surely you can see it?” You pleaded with him to see sense but knew realistically he was too far gone. “He knows of our love and he is using it for his own gain. Don’t let all those words we said become nothing. I meant everything, did you?”

“You dare question my love for you?” Anakin snarled, one hand raised and suddenly you were in the air with the breath snatched from you.

Obi-Wan finally stepped off the runway, heart breaking at the scene before him. He truly had believed and desperately hoped that you could bring Anakin back but the Anakin he knew would sooner hurt himself than hurt you.

“Admit it, Obi-Wan, you want to take her from me!” Anakin shouted. “I won’t let you.”

“Anakin, don't be foolish. If you truly believe I haven’t known about you and Y/N for years now then I have done my job too well. If I were so against this I have had plenty of opportunities to tell the Council.” Obi-Wan said and that gave Anakin pause but whatever bit of doubt he had quickly left as he shook his head, the Chancellor’s manipulations running too deep.

Your eyes darted to Obi-Wan, panicked and scared, but the other man just gave you a small nod. You desperately hoped Obi-Wan could get you both out of this alive, though with Anakin’s madness, the way the Dark Side seemed to be eating him up, you weren’t particularly enthusiastic about your survival rates.

“Anakin, come with me. All three of us can return to Coruscant, we can fix this. Don’t do something you’ll live to regret here.” Obi-Wan said calmly but it seemed to only anger Anakin.

“You think I’d fall for such a trap, Master?” Anakin spat, the word like venom coming from his tongue and you watched as Obi-Wan let out a small wince, unable to hide it. “I know what fate awaits me if we go with you.”

“Anakin, please listen to him!” You managed to choke out but Anakin only tightened his Force grip on your neck and your fingers scratched at the phantom pressure, your vision dancing with black dots.

“You claim to love her and yet you’re killing her, Anakin!” Obi-Wan exclaimed, lighting his lightsaber and taking a step towards Anakin.

“You truly think you can beat me, Obi-Wan? I have powers you couldn’t even begin to understand. Soon I shall take my rule in my new Empire and Y/N will stand by my side.”

“No, Anakin, she won’t.” The words sent a fresh wave of anger through Anakin and his fist closed tightly.

You felt your airways completely close, lungs burning as you choked, pain spreading throughout your body. It wasn’t until Anakin threw your body aside, painfully hitting the ship that you were left struggling for air, slumping down on the ground and letting your head hit the floor, the sounds of lightsabers hitting against each other the last thing you heard before darkness took over.

You don’t know how much time passed but at some point you felt your body being moved, your eyes flew open and you pushed away from the hands on you, scared Anakin had won. There was no need for it though as Obi-Wan crouched down in front of you, hands raised and you let out a shaky breath.

You let Obi-Wan help you up onto unsteady feet but a groaning from your right had you turning your head, even as Obi-Wan tried to pull your gaze away. You gasped, knees buckling and sobs escaping you as you saw Anakin’s body aflame, broken groans and screams leaving him as he shouted after Obi-Wan, after he saw you standing.

“I’m sorry.” Obi-Wan murmured sadly, tears in his eyes as he pulled you into his arms and led you back towards the ship.

Once you were sat in the seat your eyes immediately found Anakin, the picture before you would forever haunt your waking days as well as your dreams, it would be one that stayed with you forever.

You didn’t know what you were supposed to do now, everything seemed so dark and hopeless. So much of your future had always involved Anakin but now Anakin was dead, left to burn on a fiery planet and you knew the pain would never leave you. You had never thought that what you and Anakin had would break, truly never thought you’d live to see the day, and yet here you were, flying away from him, heart broken so painfully for a future that was so close and lost just like that. 

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Why Am I Here? - Darth Vader

Darth Vader x daughter reader

Warnings: none

Word count: 1,612

Summary: Reader gets “”invited”” to spend some time with the Empire. For reasons only Darth Vader knows, but will he tell? Or keep her guessing.

Authors Note: I’ve been thinking of making a whole series with a similar plot. So I’m trying this imagine out see how people like it. If you do and want to see more like this or with a similar plot comment below or say something in a reblog!

P.S. Its my Birthday Month!!!! YAY!

Masterlist

Star Wars Masterlist

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Y/n stood there confused as to why she was here. Nothing about her should interest the Empire. She never given anyone any clues or hints as to if she is with the rebellion.

But yet they came to her senate booth and asked her to come with them. Not that she would have had a choice anyway. When they brought her to a ship, from there they took her to as they put it ‘Where lord Vader is staying’. When the troopers escorted her to a room, they told her this is where she will be staying. In the room was a huge bed, a big bathroom, and a closet. A closet that was full of her own clothes plus some other outfits that were beautiful. But it wasn’t just the closet that had things she owned in it. It was the whole room. There was small things from her room at home scattered all over. All the thoughts in her head stopped once the door opened to reveal the man that had her brought here.

“Why am I here?” Y/n asked with a strong voice. She truly is curious as to why they took her from her home. “Do you talk or are you just gonna stand there?”

Vader just stood there staring at Y/n before asking. “Do you know who I am?”

“Of course I do. Your Darth Vader.EVeryone know who you are.” She nodded, the look in her eyes was very confused as to why he would ask that specific question. But there was another emotion that Vader couldn’t place.

“Is that all you know me as?” he asked trying to get a sense of how to approach why he brought her here.

“Should I know you as more than that?” Y/n tilted her head in more confusion and also now curiousness. What did he mean by that? Should she know him as more?

“You will be staying here awhile. I hope that this room is up to your liking. We’ll talk later.” With that statement, he turned to leave the room. It was obvious to Y/n that that was not the answer he was looking for from her.

“Wait-” Y/n started but he left the room before she could continue. There were more questions running through her head now than there were before he came in.

^      ^       ^

“Lord Vader requests your presence.” A Stormtrooper stated as he entered the quiet room. 

Y/n let out a sigh of annoyance. “You can tell Lord Vader that I decline his request.”

The Stormtrooper left reluctantly. Y/n was sure that was not the answer the trooper wanted. Nor Darth Vader.

After about 20 to 30 minutes the door of her room opened. Low and behold Darth Vader entered the room. Y/n couldn’t help but smirk a tiny bit at the frustration in Darth Vaders walk and demeanor. It was quite comical. “Hello to you too.”

“You declined. What makes you think you are allowed to decline a request from me?” Even though he concealed it well Y/n could tell Darth Vader was frustrated with her previous actions.

“Oh, I know that I’m not supposed to. But it got your attention now didn’t it?” she tilted her head with a smile tugging at her lips.

Vader’s suit let out what could be considered a sigh. “I’m assuming you have something you want to say.”

y/n nodded at his assumption. “I have questions.”

“You may ask them.” he moved to sit on the couch in the room he had provided her. Waiting for her to start asking said questions.

“Why am I here?” Was the first one and most obvious out of Y/n’s mouth.

“I have my reasons.”

“Are they valid for keeping me here without my consent?”

“Yes” Vader nodded

“Can I know the reasons?” Y/n asked to hope that she could get more than another one-worded answer.

“Soon.” he replied, smirking behind the mask.

“What does that mean?” Y/n groaned, this was getting her nowhere.

“You’ll find out soon.” Vader rephrased

“How far is soon?” she rolled her eyes at his vagueness.

“Have a goodnight, y/n.” Darth Vader stated as he got up and headed for the exit.

“Will we talk about this again?” Y/n asked standing up really quickly off the bed. Heading to follow him out the door.

“Soon.” Was the last word that left the Sith as he left, with the door shutting behind him.

“UUUUGGGGHHHHHHH” Y/n screamed, falling back onto the large bed. This was ridiculous. She was getting nowhere. Y/n had a feeling that she was going to e there for a long while. The least he could do was answer some of her questions if he was gonna keep her there. Hopefully, he will tell her more ‘soon’ as he puts it.

^      ^      ^

“You requested me?” Y/n snarked walking into what looked to be Darth Vaders room.

“I’m shocked you came. Your learning.” he seemed to snark back.

“Yeah, sure. Why’d you call me here?” Y/n questioned while switching her weight to one hip, moving her arms to hug around herself.

“Do you know my history?” Vader asked what was a very random question to the young woman.

“What do you mean?” she tilted her head in confusion.

“Before I became Darth Vader.” he elaborated, turning to face her.

Y/n shook her head, casting her eyes down as she answered. “No. i heard it was forbidden to talk about who you were before. So no one does.”

“To some people it is. Most in fact.” Vader agreed with her statement.

“But your gonna tell me?” Y/n’s eyes widened in shock.

“Yes.” It was a simple answer but it scared Y/n. What happens to people who know? That question just kept running through her mind.

“Am I allowed to know?” She asked after letting out a deep breath that was shaky. 

“It’s my story to tell, Y/n.” Darth Vader smiled under his mask at her.

“Right” Y/n let out a light shaky laugh. It was one of their rare moments between them where whatever wall that separated them came down. Which Y/n didn’t know how to feel about. But Vader couldn’t help but feel immensely happy with those moments.

“Before the Empire, I was a Jedi. I didn’t follow the code completely. I was married, in secret to the love of my life. Right before the rise of the Empire, when things changed she was pregnant. I was to be a father. . . . She died in childbirth. Because of me. An I wasn’t there for her. I made a lot of decisions I regret, and that was one of them.” Vader explained, looking solemnly towards the floor as he thought about his past actions.

“What was your name?” Y/n asked once he stopped explaining, Some of the things he had just mentioned sounded very familiar. Her breathing picked up as she waited for his answer. 

Vader decided to make a decision to show her his true face. No one has seen his face other than the Emperor since he turned from Anakin Skywalker to Darth Vader. Once the helmet was off Vader turned to face the young woman, maskless. “I think you know.”

“Oh my-” Y/n gasped moving her hands up to cover her mouth. So many thoughts running through her head. 

“Y/n-”

Y/n held her hand up to stop him from saying more. “You know. You knew the whole time, and didn’t tell me! That's why I’ve been here this whole time. Isn't it!?”

Vader or maybe Anakin, could see how she was starting to feel upset. Betrayed even. But he knows she’s been held in the Empires custody long enough she deserved to know. “Yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked with a whimper.

“I wanted us to get to know each other first. Establish a relationship before I told you.” he explained, hoping she would understand. But he knew that it’d still probably take time with her. Over the last couple months they have been getting to know each other, just slowly.

“Well, I do know some stories about Anakin Skywalker. My father.” Y/n spoke after letting some time pass, playing with her fingers nervously, aware that things will forever be  changed.

Vader- or Anakin nodded in understanding. She had put it together and now she knew why he took her and why he’s treating her the way he is. He walked up to her, giving her a small smile. “I know we have a long way to some with our relationship, but I would like to make this work..” Vader softened his stature trying his hardest not to seem intimidating to his daughter. Not wanting to frighten her. “I’ve missed to much of your life up till now. I’m not missing any more of it.”

Y/n looked him in the eyes still not sure about all of this. But something was telling her that he is being truthful, and that she could trust him. He has protected her since she's been there. “Can you tell me more about my mom? And about you, or at least who you use to be?”

“Yeah, sweetheart. I can do that.” He nodded, and couldn’t help how much his smile grew. The fact that she was willing to get to know him made his heart swell. She wanted him to tell her about Padme, he hasn’t been able to talk about her since he lost her. Maybe they could have a slightly normal father daughter relationship.

here again, with another boyfriend (i've found my true love <3)

12/28/22

“I wish I knew how to quit you.”

me to dark, psychotic men