Addictions - Tumblr Posts

Fuck I have an addictions appointment and I haven't slept a wink.

Shit ballz

Jib jib jib sounds like such a fun word 😄

How to Deal with Loneliness, Fears, Phobias, Depression, and Anxiety

By Eli Kittim (Psychologist & Biblical Researcher)

Loneliness, fears, phobias, depression, and anxiety are not so much reactions to real life situations as they are negative maladaptive thinking patterns. The cure or *remedy* lies in exposing the *falsehoods* or *false premises* that create them in the first place, thereby being able to change the negative maladaptive thinking patterns and their associated feelings and emotions. The way to apply this technique is through a process that the Buddhists call “mindfulness.” Christian mystics call it “guarding the heart.”

By constantly paying attention to your mind (i.e. being alert), you grant access to certain thoughts while refusing entry to others. Sometimes you’ll need to question the reliability and authenticity behind the premise of a thought before deciding to accept it as true or discard it as false. With practice, however, you will become successful in removing all forms of anxiety from your life by focusing on the false assumptions behind the negative thinking patterns as well as on the positive things that God has in store for you. 2 Corinthians 10.5 (NIV) explains this technique as follows:

We demolish arguments and every

pretension [or falsehood] that sets itself up

against the knowledge of God [or truth], and

we take captive every thought to make it

obedient to Christ.

Dave Jenkins, the Executive Editor of Theology for Life Magazine, and the Host of the Equipping You in Grace Podcast, put thusly the concept of the guarding of the heart:

For Christians to ‘guard their hearts and

minds’ in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7)

means for them to be alert, through Christ's

power and protection, to what enters and

dwells in their hearts, because the Bible

teaches that what we say and do, and who

we become is the result of the state of our

hearts.

To this end, Philippians 4.7 promises God’s protection:

And the peace of God, which transcends all

understanding, will guard your hearts and

your minds in Christ Jesus.

In order to stay positive and hopeful——in counteracting loneliness, fear, depression, or any other negativity we might have——Paul insists that we should train our minds to entertain only thoughts that are true and beautiful (Philippians 4.8):

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is

true, whatever is noble, whatever is right,

whatever is pure, whatever is lovely,

whatever is admirable--if anything is

excellent or praiseworthy--think about such

things.

You know what? No, I'm not as fucking strong as you think I am. I'm actually quite sensitive and every time you make fun of me it. fucking. hurts. I'm an idiot for letting things go and coping with every stab through my heart with all sorts of addictions to numb the pain you give me. Thanks for making me into the pathetic loser I am today.

Being lonely sucks. But I shouldn't feel this way because God is always there for me. I swear I don't doubt God one bit and I know He is the only one I can depend on. But sometimes I need real life support. But that's useless because they're temporary. But I don't know how to do this. I fuck up so much, make so many mistakes, and REPEAT them a gazillion times. And some sins, I've gone waaay past the guilt stage that its become a necessity in my life. I know exactly what I'm doing wrong and what I need to do to change. But I don't have the will. For some reason going to hell isn't that frightening. I mean I know its an unimaginable punishment but honestly I can't bring myself to care. I never wanted to exist or be a part of this. I know no one did. But its so hard... It's so hard to live ... So hell doesn't sound so bad because living sucks anyways. This whole game sucks. Why did He make it so hard to be what He wants. I mean I know its only hard because I made it this way for myself. So I don't know... I don't know what to do to be honest...

You bought this to yourself you know. You just had to keep reading the wrong things and imagining wrong things and being ashamed to ask God for help because you don't deserve it. Yes exactly. You don't deserve it. So quit complaining. The consequences for your actions are very little compared to what you do. When will you change?!! Yeah just stay as the loser you are. Stay in the same place while everyone moves on and lives and learns. You just stay there and be a useless existence.

Unhealthy Obsession

In a world so dark

My desires spark

First my mind,

Then my eyes,

And last my hand

The magic wand

That sends me into a frenzy

My eyes turn hazy

Tears mix with pleasure

Hands no longer used for leisure

But a tool to scrape all the filth I feel

I scream in silence

To my creator I kneel

I beg for forgiveness

Knowing its useless

For I will do it again

And again and again and again

And each time I'll cry

My eyeballs I will wish to pry

My hands I would want to chop off

At my pathetic existence I scoff

To my creator I would question

The reason for this unhealthy obsession

Where exactly did I go wrong?

And where must I go to make it right?

I'm so tired,

So fucking tired.

I want a reason to change

Because I can't change myself.

I loathe myself.

And refuse to treat it better.

I've never known to do anything,

But self destruct.

So give me a reason to change,

For the better.

Please!

Without hurting anyone in the process.