4na Thoughts - Tumblr Posts
Does anyone know any supplements I can take for my ED so I can avoid balding and teeth rotting and all that shit ??? Or foods as well that would help as well ?
Food Log: Aug. 16, 2024
Breakfast:
Apple (73cal)
Fried egg (107cal)
Rice cake (35cal)
Cream cheese, 2tbsp (70cal)
Ketchup (29cal)
Total: 313 cal
Lunch:
30 Grapes (101cal)
Tea (0cal)
Total: 101 cal
Dinner:
Mashed potatoes (257cal)
Thin steak, 2 servings (378cal)
Cheese (21cal)
Total: 657 cal
Exercise:
6,119 steps (202cal)
Total burned: 202cal
Todays total: 869 cals
Notes:
I went over my cal limit but was able to burn it off, but even then I’m still upset I went over it. I watched “st⭐️ving in suburbia” for the first time and I’m not gonna lie it was corny as hell. A lot of the scenes felt vv over the top (SPOILER) like when her mom found the rotting food in her closet and she started saying these quotes that sounded like a Hail Mary but make it 4n4. Although the lowering of the cals rlly made me think abt how much I could’ve lost before school just by lowering my intake more bc I’ve been eating in the 600-900+ range. Sooo I’ll try to fast as much as I can before school, and lower my intake but eat lil meals throughout the day bc I’m starting to get nauseous eating later later in the day which would lead to a big dinner. I think I got too high acid. I don’t knaur but I did lose 4lbs at least, I just wish it would show.
Food log: Aug. 17, 2024
Breakfast:
Menudo, 1 1/2 cup (195cal)
Total: 195cal
Lunch:
Baby carrots, 1 cup (34cal)
Celery, 2 stalks (14cal)
Cream cheese, 1tbsp (35cal)
Total: 83cal
Dinner:
Nothing (0cal)
Total: 0cal
Exercise:
3,120 steps (103cal)
Total burned: 103cal
Todays total: 174 cals
Notes:
Rlly glad I ate low today, menudo hits ALWAYS n it’s low in calories. I ate the veggies while watching mukbang n I kept thinking abt how much I hate having an ED bc I can’t enjoy the food I love especially after relapsing. I’ve been pacing around the room or walking/running in place to get steps in. Tmrw I’ll get more steps in.
Food log: Aug. 22, 2024
Breakfast:
Lemon water (0cal)
Total: 0cal
Lunch:
Nothing (0cal)
Total: 0cal
Dinner:
Dr Pepper strawberries n cream (149cal)
Wingstop Garlic Parmesan wings, 3 wings (360cal)
Wingstop mango habanero, 3 wings (300cal)
Wingstop fries, half (185cal)
Total: 993cals
Exercise:
651 steps (21 cal)
Total burned: 21cal
Todays total: 972 cals
Notes:
Did a 17 hour liquid fast but ended up ordering wingstop after the soda bc I felt rlly weak n I had a head ache as well. I kinda regret getting the wingstop bc I love eating wings with ppl otherwise it’s depressing. So I only ate half. I should’ve just stuck with the liquid fast but at least I made it over 16 hours I guess just wish I didn’t eat a lot of cals n it’s pretty high too. I’m rlly tired.
Downside of fasting- I cannot fucking sleep n school starts in 3 DAYYSSS
Food Log: Aug. 23, 2024
Breakfast:
Rice cake (35cal)
Nutella, 1tbsp (81cal)
3 Strawberries (146cal)
Vanilla spice tea (0cal)
Total: 262cals
Lunch:
Orange creamsicle (65cal)
Total: 65cals
Dinner:
Iced honey buns (320cal)
Total: 320cal
Snack:
Ruffles (160cal)
Total: 160cal
Exercise:
333 steps (11cal)
Total burned: 11cals
Todays Total: 795 cals
Notes:
I’m SOOOO FUCKING HUNGRY. I was vv close to binging but it was mainly snacks around anyway. I needed a lil salty treat after something sweet to balance it out. Overall felt vv fkn weak n shakey today but vv glad I restricted bc I’m going to a party tmrw. I’m gonna allow myself to binge tmrw bc I’m rlly hoping there’s tacos at the party. I’ve been eye balling this frozen pizza in my bfs freezer but I’m too embarrassed to make it so hopefully my bf would be down to make it tmrw. I still gotta figure out my look for tmrw since I also might be drinking n I’m not bout to be crunked n fugly.
Food Log: Aug. 26, 2024
Breakfast:
Nothing (0cal)
Total: 0cals
Lunch:
Two pieces of gum (10cal)
Total: 10cals
Dinner:
2 Carne asada tacos (1000)
Total: 1000cals
Snack:
7 up (88cal)
Total: 88cal
Exercise:
5,769 steps (190cals)
Total burned: 190cals
Todays total: 908 cals
Notes:
I only ate two of the tacos bc I got full so I put the other two away but I’m still counting it as 1000 bc I didn’t measure nothing so I’d rather over estimate. Today was my first day of school n overall pretty good minus being late to my first two classes n almost comin to school without my face on. I like being able to fast n keep busy but I wanna be able to take care of my gut still and not have brain fog so I’ll try to eat better while still staying in my limit.
Food Log: Aug. 29, 2024
Breakfast:
2 gum (10cal)
Total: 10 cals
Lunch:
7/11 blue slush (65cal)
Salad 300cal)
2 Hot honey boneless wings (200cal)
Total: 565cals
Dinner:
Pasta salad (354cal)
Total: (354cals)
Todays total: 929 cals
Notes:
I didn’t get to take a picture of the other foods. I broke my phone so I’ve been using my tablet so I can’t track my steps or take pictures of some of the things I eating bc it feel embarrassing doing that shit with a big ass tablet. But I found out my school gives away free foods aka the salads I got and it’s rlly filling n low in cals so I’ll be going there a lot. My home girl introduced me to some new ppl and I’m suspecting one of them has an eating disorder because the way she ate a pop tart n my friend offered her more food and she said “I ate two whole poptarts that’s enough food for today” n I worried but also competitive? I hate feeling competitive when it comes to EDs bc sometimes it feels like it outweighs my concern.
I keep restricting and then binging off n on and it’s getting on my fucking nerves. How am I supposed to get skinny if I keep eating. I think what’s fucking with me more is I can’t track my steps at all either.
My header image on my profile is cake. I don’t even rlly like cake, I’m not vv fond of sweet shit. But as my ED got worse during my high school period of time I LOVED eating sweet shit, I craved it all the time. Which is probably due to my body trying to eat something to gain energy, but anyway. These last few days I haven’t been eating right (I started my period). It’s not even big ass meals it’s snacks n junk. my bfs family bought home cake from a party n as a cake connoisseur THEY BROUGHT THE GOOD SHIT. It’s a two layer vanilla cake except the FROSTING isn’t that overly sweet whipped cream shit that isn’t that great after being in the fridge, no no no no, it’s THE best fucking frosting ever. The kind of cake n frosting that lasts days in the fridge, and the frosting doesn’t get all liquidy or hard, but a nice creamy but not overstimulating texture.
I am absolutely FUCKED.
I need to fast or restrict JUST SOMETHING. I’ve been eating so bad I’m getting gross with myself, I’ve been eating so much any kind of food is unappealing all I want is fucking water, but I still keep eating out of boredom. (and bc there’s CAKE)
So I’m thinking I do a liquid fast during school, n then eat cake after. I don’t know yet, I’m not gonna just eat cake only obviously bc I don’t wanna go bald again, so I’ll eat foods with nutrients I need, but overall I need a restart rlly bad. I had a dream though that I lost my ass so I need to keep up with that as well.
Also I got a stye n it’s so fucking bad half my eyelid is closed so no makeup is gonna help. And I have to go to school with it, AMD I HAVE A PRESENTATION THIS WEEEEEK. Wish me luck y’all 🫡
Food Log: Sep. 3, 2024
Breakfast:
Nothing (0cal)
Total: 0cal
Lunch:
Half a cup of Cheddar curly fries potato corner (124cal)
Total: 124cals
Dinner:
Chicken breast (150cal)
Kraft Mac n cheese (360cal)
3 Nutella biscuit (212cal)
Total: 721cals
Todays total: 845 calories
Notes:
Didn’t get a proper picture of the fries cup bc I was eating it in the car. My bf surprised me with dinner it was rlly sweet (that gravy looking thing is chic-fil-a sauce lol) I was rlly grateful but bummed bc I was doing rlly good restricting but he’s so sweet. I ended up getting full n couldn’t finish some chicken breast n only finished the Mac n cheese. The Mac n cheese was so fucking good. I also got some fruit from my school so I’ll be eating that tmrw.
Food Log: Sep. 4, 2024
Breakfast:
Two altoids (10cal)
Total: 10cals
Lunch:
Nothing (0cal)
Total: 0cal
Dinner:
Upo ginesang with pork and shrimp (350cals)
1 cup white jasmine rice (180cals)
Total: 530cals
Snack:
Seven trolli gummy worms (27cal)
Cinnamon roll (150cal)
Total: 177cals
Todays total: 717 calories
Notes
My food looks super disorganized I hate it. The Upo is normally low in cals but bc I don’t know the true amount of cals I just overestimated it. I haven’t had my home food in so long it was nice eating it again. The cinnamon roll was rlly good there was a lot of frosting. Until I microwaved it n it got rlly liquidy n I got pissed off I just let my bf eat most of it. I didn’t take a picture of the altoids sorry. Gummy worms were mid but it felt nice eating them with my bf. Overall burning n hot day this month is so fucking hot n it’s supposed to be fall UGHHHH.
Food Log: Sep. 5, 2024
Breakfast:
3 egg omelette (237cals)
3 bacon slices (177cals)
1tbsp ketchup (18cal)
Cheese (100cals)
Onion (46cal)
Total: 662cals
Lunch:
Nothing (0cal)
Total: 0cal
Dinner:
Nothing (0cal)
Total: 0cal
Snack:
Ten tbsp chocolate brownie ice cream (328cals)
Total: 328cals
Todays total: 990 calories
Notes:
My bf made us breakfast it was really goooooood but supa high in calories. I blame the bacon. I’m rlly annoyed with how high I ate BUT it’s fine bc I lost weight around my belly and I can wear my waist trainer at its tightest setting now 🙂↕️. The ice cream was so fucking good but I have to pace myself so I don’t binge. I rlly want to eat more rn.So I’m gonna finish an assignment and then watch some movies that has super skinny ppl n it for inspiration 🫡
I live in Cali so it’s supposed to be fall but it’s literally 102 fucking degrees today. I still made my HAWT coffee n I still plan on lighting a fall candle and watch “autumn movies” tonight even though it’s still gonna be around 80 something degrees by the time it’s 10PM. SIGHHHHHH
I’m going to the beach tmrw with my besties tho so I’m rlly excited for that. Downside is I might go over my cal limit n I’ve been doing good these past two days so maybe tmrw will be a cheat day?. N I’ll just fast Sunday? Idk we’ll see.
Y’all ppl getting t3řm3d a lot, so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE RESHARE THIS,
If my account gets n00ked my account will always start off with “angelic-“ and then sum right after, I need more Mutuals, (NO MINORS PLS) so I know who to follow back if my account does get n00ked, also reshare so I know who’s still active n I’ll be following back.
Food Log: Sep. 6, 2024
Breakfast:
Instant coffee (2cal)
Thirteen tbsp (454cal)
Total: 456cals
Lunch:
Nothing (0cal)
Total: 0cal
Dinner:
Upo with pork and shrimp (350cal)
White jasmine rice (180cal)
Total: 530cals
Todays total: 986 calories
Notes:
I ate the Upo left overs I had from the other day so I overestimated it again, I didn’t finish the rice though but I’m still counting it. The coffee was literally perfect, just the creamer being high in calories is what gets on my nerves. I wish I could track my steps. Today was super draining bc of the heat but I got a lot of work done so that’s good. I feel so bleh. I wanna restrict lower I hate being in the 900s.
It better be häAaAaæ HaàAaaÆ haAaáÀ weather by September 22 or ima light this bitch on fire
AND YOU’RE ALL COMING WITH ME
Guyyyysss I just got back home from hanging out with my besties. We ended up not going to the beach but went to a night market, and we took a lot of pictures. I look like shit. I thought I looked good leaving the house but I look so ugly on the pictures. I look so fat my face looks so fat my arms look so fucking fat. I have GOT TO lose weight before Halloween. Me and one of my best friends r gonna be the white and black swan, I can’t look fat in such a beautiful costume. More motivation, but I wanna hide everything abt my body. I feel so fucking ugly. God I just wanna be beautiful :(
I was literally just 137lbs, I checked my weight this morning and I’m at 127lbs now, but I don’t look like it :(
Food log: Sep. 9, 2024
Breakfast:
Nothing
Total: 0cal
Lunch:
Nothing
Total: 0cal
Dinner:
Rice cake (35cals)
Half tbsp, mayo (50cal)
Half tbsp, relish (10cal)
Half, can tuna (50cal)
Total: 144cals
Todays total: 144 calories
Notes:
Ate really low this day which I’m vv happy and surprised abt it bc I almost fully gave in to a bite of my bfs taco. And almost had a break down bc I hate not being able to eat. But I did it yay. This is your sign to recover I hate not fucking eating.