Mealspo - Tumblr Posts
hunger has never felt so good until i have a fitness guy who wants me
i fucking hate guys, i was so excited for this one
so excited to be home alone all of next week so i can finally just starve and exercise
and then im moving out at the end of september so even better
i can't wait to leave this place, even just being with my family gives me 10 reasons to cry
hi I'm alive ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐
the feelings of seeing the number on the scale drop is a better feeling than food has ever given me.
The Meal | The Chef
I’ve been like 105-110 pounds for so long since I’ve been basically recovered, but now that I’m back at this I’m so excited to finally break 100 again, imagining a two digit weight is so motivating to me
I have such a habit of giving up on relapses really quickly cuz I just wanna be happy, and like I don’t really blame myself for that, but my life is so awful right now and this is basically the only thing I can control
I’d rather be miserable on my own terms than on anyone else’s
I FUCKING ATE THE FREE FOOD I GET FROM WORK IT WAS SO MANY CALORIES and then cuz I was trying to feel better I talked to my boyfriend and then ended up eating a fucking cinnamon roll as well
I feel like absolute shit, hoping for my weigh in tmrw morning to not be horrible
If I keep doing this shit nothing is ever gonna change, I either need to fix this or just go back to being normal
Ok the weigh in this morning was very meh, I was 105.7 which isn’t THAT bad and Ik it’s just the food being in my system I obviously didn’t actually gain any real weight, but still
Im starting a fast from last night after I ate, to make up for yesterday.
my plan is to, at the very least, fast all day today and wait until right before my shift tmrw to eat, but if I get to tmrw and feel ok I’ll just keep fasting through to Saturday.
My priority is always work tho so if I need the food tmrw I’ll eat something healthy to keep me going, gotta get that bag LMAO
TW RESTRICTIVE ED (block dont report)
ok I got my food log for yesterday, im not gonna actually count every calorie for now, cuz everytime ive done that in the past i just obsess over food too much and end up binging and giving up, so im gonna be more reasonable with my restriction so that it actually lasts lol
Breakfast:
Black tea w/ sweetened milk (my favorite thing in the world omg)
Lunch:
1 apple
Diet coke mixed with some lemonade
Dinner:
One packet of Maruchan ramen
Large bowl of ice-cream w/ chocolate sauce and strawberries :/
Everything went amazing until (as always) after I ate my planned ramen for dinner my cravings went insane. I decided to just have some icecream because i mean fuck it, i love ice cream, and since i really ate almost nothing the rest of the day it shouldnt be too bad, even if it wasnt ideal. I was right tho! I weighed myself this morning and I still lost about as much as I had hoped to from the day before, so Im happy i got to enjoy my ice cream and still make progress :)
(I am definitely making sure not to give into the cravings today tho, cant make this a habit)
TW RESTRICTIVE ED
Food log from yesterday:
Breakfast: coffee with sweetener
Lunch: veggie burger with 1 slice of bread, and a bowl of instant miso soup (around 260 cals)
Dinner: 4 slices of no cheese veggie pizza, two slices of cheese pizza
Ok yesterday was almost perfect, I planned on the 4 slices of the no cheese veggie pizza, but my cravings got the better of me with the cheese pizza, they were all very small slices tho, I work at a pizza place so I get free personal pizzas and they are not very big
I was worried when my cravings got bad I was gonna end up eating smth else but thankfully they went away after I ate the pizza, and I weighed in at 103.8 lbs this morning which was exactly what I wanted! :)
My grandma wants to go out to dinner with me on Monday for a late birthday thing, I’m not too worried though, my plan is just to not eat anything until dinner and fill my stomach up with water during the meal
I don’t want to force myself not to eat the food at the restaurant, or have it be obvious that I’m not eating so I’m definitely going to order as normal, I’ll get full fast tho so it’s not a big deal
I’m so excited to get under 100 lbs, I’m always on-and-off with my restriction and I haven’t made it under 100 in soooo long, I can’t wait for a 2 digit number on the scale again 😩
TW RESTRICTIVE ED
Food log from yesterday :
Breakfast:
Coffee with sweetener
Lunch:
Cappuccino smoothie/milkshake from some store at the mall (almost entirely ice cream)
Dinner:
Veggie burger with one slice of bread and some hot sauce
Yesterday went really good, I ate exactly what I planned to. The smoothie I had at the mall was definitely a lot of calories, but I was out with my best friend and I always get it so I really didn’t want to seem off by not having what I usually do, it’s ok tho I weighed in at 103.8 this morning so I’m happy :)
TW RESTRICTIVE ED
ok today did NOT go as planned at ALL
I caved and had a bagel with cream cheese and some veggie bacon with a dunkin coffee, which had to have been so many calories in itself, but then i had to go to the Indian resteraunt with my grandma and OH MY GOD
the food was good and i feel like i didnt even eat much but i felt SO FULL I WAS ON THE VERGE OF THROWING UP (not of my own choice), it was AWFUL
I was so full and uncomfortable and i never want to feel like that ever again, but at least nobody is gonna suspect anything since i definitely ate like normal
gonna do a fast tomorrow to make up for this shit show of a day, ill only have herbal/green tea and a sparkling ice from cvs :/
if nothing else, this has to work as a metabolism day to make sure i dont plateau, so ill take what i can get
TW RESTRICTIVE ED
ok so by some miracle of the eating disorder gods i actually LOST WEIGHT AFTER MY TERRIBLE DAY YESTERDAY???
i weighed myself last night and i was at 103.4, which was LOWER than in the morning, and this morning i was 102.6 which is INSANE to me and i dont understand
I weighed myself like 20 different times and reset my scale to see if it was glitching but it seems to be true?
Anyway, i decided to have a small meal before work today to keep me fueled and since i already lost so much yesterday.
gang cant know i fw ed tumblr🤫🤫
TW RESCRICTIVE ED
Fell off for a couple days :( I didnt gain anything im still around 103, so its not too bad
My goal is to be below 100 by the start of May, which is a totally achieved goal (3 lbs in 10 days), so I wont have to sacrifice my ability to like function by eating nothing, gotta stay on the grind even if im restricting ykyk
School is also killing me rn, my senioritis is BAD, ive been skipping like every day
my grades are still pretty good so its not the end of the world but i just need senior year to hurry tf up, i wanna be out of this bitch NOW
TW RESTRICTIVE ED
Im actually the biggest Bella Hadid fan in the world
Shes beautiful, thinspo, built somewhat like me, and VOCALLY PRO PALESTINE <333
I dont usually stan celebrities tbh but i love that woman with my whole entire heart
Dudeeeee I was talking with my coworkers abt weight loss/working out today and got the whole “look at you, so knowledgeable”,
Like LMAO girl yes, I have an eating disorder we don’t need to worry abt that tho 🫶
It’s just so funny to surprise people with how much Ik abt weight loss without them knowing why I know it
And OMG my coworker was talking abt bmr and jokingly said “so yeah your what, 85 lbs?” Like omggggg that makes me feel so happy, the best motivation ever 💕💕