Toxic Rocketshipping: Jessie Makes James Her Sex Slave WTF (part One Of Three)

Toxic Rocketshipping: Jessie Makes James Her Sex Slave WTF (part one of three)

This is one of the very few times I tried to write a Jessie x James fic.

And in the proud tradition of Team Rocket, I fucked it up royally.

Content Warning: First-person mixed points-of-view; sexual assault; gross misunderstanding of slavery; possibly uncomfortable discussions of romance; Stockholm syndrome mistaken for love; bizarre focus on James’s virginity (why); Pokémon/Human romantic relationship; out-of-character behavior for James and Meowth; absolute character assassination of Jessie; Jesus Hades Christ twelve!me tortured James a lot in fic (seriously what the fuck)

-O-o-O-o-O-

(James's point of view)

The trouble started when Jessie bought me.

Yes, that's right, she bought me.

I don't know how she did it. She even had a title deed written up for me.

I skimmed the deed. Something caught my eye. It was a word. Two words, actually.

"Sex slave."

I was Jessie's sex slave?! Didn't she know I valued my virginity?

What exactly did a sex slave do, anyway?

I was about to find out.

-O-o-O-

The horrible abuse started the night after Jessie bought me. She touched me in places that were inappropriate. It was really uncomfortable, but for some reason, I didn't try to break away.

Was I becoming a weak slave?

I realized I wasn't becoming weak. I was already weak. I thought that answered my question.

It didn't.

I soon realized why I was letting Jessie do all these things to me.

I was beginning to fall in love with her.

I didn't know why I was in love with Jessie. She had abused me so much, I should've hated her.

I couldn't, somehow.

I didn't want to get on her bad side, so I let her do whatever she wanted to me and did whatever she told me to. It wasn't the smartest thing to do, but I wasn't very smart.

I'm lucky she didn't do it with me. I wouldn't be a virgin right now.

-O-o-O-

(Meowth's point of view)

Jessie started taking James into her room a lot. I knew James was her sex slave, so she was probably "exploring" his body.

One night, James came out of Jessie's room and came into the room that he and I shared. He was trembling and crying.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Jessie made me strip right in front of her. I refused, so she ripped off my clothing. I've never been so humiliated in my entire life," James said between quiet sobs.

"Why did she do that?! That's an invasion of privacy!" I was angry.

"I'm her sex slave. She'll do that if I don't do what she says," James whispered.

"She has no right to make you strip if you don't want to," I said.

"Yes, she does, Meowth. She bought me. She has a title deed and everything." James produced two sheets of typed paper. One was a contract and the other was a title deed.

"Where's the 'everything'?" I asked.

"Right here," James said. He took out his sex slave identification card, a name tag, and an identification bracelet.

"Jessie has so much control over you, she's got you defending her when she's violating your rights. You need to stand up to her," I said.

"I just don't know how. And even if I did, I couldn't," James said.

"Why not?" I asked.

No answer.

"James, is there something you're not telling me?" I asked.

"I just can't stand up to Jessie, that's all."

"Why can't you?"

"Because….I love her," James said. He looked at me with tears in his eyes. I was sorry I pushed him to answer.

"Even after she did all those awful things to you?" I said, in a softer voice.

James nodded and the tears ran down his lovely face.

"But if you love her, why haven't you told her?" I asked.

"Because I don't want to love her. I don't know how I do. It's just a weird feeling. I can't explain it," James said. "I didn't even want to fall in love." He started to cry silently.

"It's okay. You can't help your feelings," I said, comforting James.

"I thought that if I let her do whatever she wanted with me, I wouldn't get on her bad side so there would be a chance she would love me too and stop doing these things to me," said James.

"That won't help. She'll just be like, 'okay, I can do whatever I want with you,' and she won't stop, she'll get worse," I said.

"So how am I going to stand up to her?" James asked.

I had to admit, I had no freaking idea.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: Living beings are not property. They are certainly not real estate.

James and Meowth Do A Fluffy Experiment (part two of two)

This story is slightly less fluffy when you remember that they're having the kitten as part of an experiment for a criminal organization that has mistreated their test subjects, but thirteen!me did not write by that logic.

Also, it seems that Jessie kinda forgot the conversation she had with James the previous night. She probably remembered the Iron Fleet, though.

Part one is here.

This fic contains:  Pokémon/Human romantic relationship (warning because some people might be disturbed by it, even though Meowth can consent in this story); unexplained mpreg/male pregnancy; shaky grasp of the realities of pregnancy and childrearing; bizarre focus on James's virginity (it disturbs me how often this shows up in these warnings); lack of medical knowledge; possible out-of-character moments for Jessie, James, and Meowth (weepy!James and generic boyfriend!Meowth are back); odd ideas about romance; Dr. Fuji is miraculously alive somehow (and also out-of-character); weird plot inconsistencies; "deflowered" doesn't mean what thirteen!me seems to think it means; boomer humor pregnancy gags; HOLY SHIT I REMEMBERED MONDO EXISTS?

-O-o-O-o-O-

Jessie was watching TV when James and Meowth came in.

“James, how did the test go?” she asked.

James was crying. He didn’t seem to have heard her. He ran into the bedroom, crying.

“James, wait! Please let me talk to you!” Meowth said.

Jessie knocked on the bedroom door. “Can I come in?” she asked.

“Yes,” James said.

Jessie came in. “What happened? Why are you crying?” she asked.

James sniffled for a while, then answered. “The experiment worked and now I’m pregnant,” he said.

“Meowth did that to you?!”

“Yes.”

“Weren’t you a virgin before?”

“Yes, but he had to do it. We would lose our jobs if we didn’t,” James said.

“But didn’t you value your virginity?”

“Yes, sort of. But that doesn’t matter. What am I going to do about the kitten?”

“I think you should just rest now. I’ll go talk with Meowth.”

Jessie went back into the living room. “Meowth! Shame on you!”

“What did I do?”

“You deflowered James!”

“But I had to. And I love him!”

“You do? It’s not just lust?”

“Yeah. Got a problem with that?”

“No. It’s okay, then.”

They heard soft snoring from the bedroom.

“I hope James will let me talk to him when he wakes up,” Meowth said.

-O-o-O-

James woke up about two hours later. He just lay there in bed, thinking about this whole mess.

He was going to have Meowth’s kitten.

Meowth came in. “James….I’m sorry for doing this to you. You probably had other plans to do this with someone else. If you don’t forgive me, I’ll understand,” Meowth said.

“You don’t need to apologize. I love you. I had other plans, but they were plans with you. Actually, they were just dreams that I thought would never happen. So it’s okay. I’m glad I did this with you,” James said.

“Are you sure we don’t just have a crush on each other?”

“No, I’m sure it’s true love.”

Meowth decided to just agree with James on that one. Usually James was right about things like this.

They knew they’d be able to make it through this ordeal.

-O-o-O-

The kitten would be born after nine weeks. James and Meowth got married.

The kitten would be small, so James probably wouldn’t show very much.

Fortunately for James, he didn’t get morning sickness. But he did get mood swings and weird cravings.

Skipping to the fourth week of pregnancy, Jessie and Meowth were staring at James while he was getting a snack.

“What is that?” Meowth asked.

“Beef jerky with peanut butter,” James answered.

“James….Are you sure you’re feeling okay?” Meowth asked.

“I’m fine, Meowth.”

Another time, Meowth tried to kiss James on the lips.

“What are you doing?” James asked.

“Kissing you.”

James didn’t look very happy about it. In fact, he looked frustrated. He let out a frustrated sigh and walked away.

“What did I do?” Meowth said.

“Well, you have been trying to make out with him a lot. Maybe you’re crowding him,” Jessie said.

Meowth decided to give James some space for a while. After an hour, he just couldn’t take it. He had to go see James.

He found James in tears, in the bedroom.

“James, why are you crying?” Meowth asked.

“I’m so sorry if I hurt you. I’m just scared.”

Meowth hugged James.

“You don’t have to be scared. It’s okay. I’m here for you, Jimmy,” Meowth said.

-O-o-O-

James was a little over nine weeks pregnant. He was only a little bigger, but he still wore a maternity shirt. He also still wore his Team Rocket uniform boots.

“Don’t your feet get hot in those boots?” Jessie asked.

“Yes, but I don’t want anyone to see my swollen ankles,” James said. He felt ready to give birth to the kitten any minute.

One day, Mondo came over.

“The lab sent me over to check on all of you. It’s about the experiment,” Mondo said. “What exactly is this experiment, again?”

“Well….It’s sort of weird. James and Meowth did it and I just watched, so I think they should explain it,” Jessie said.

“Where is James, anyway? I haven’t seen him for over two months.”

“There’s an explanation for that.”

They turned around and saw James, standing in the doorway.

“He’s wearing a maternity shirt,” Mondo whispered to Jessie.

“I know,” Jessie whispered back.

“That experiment that Meowth and I did was an experiment to see if humans could have babies with Pokémon. And it worked,” James said.

“Congratulations, James!” Mondo said happily.

“Thanks, I guess,” James said.

“Why aren’t you excited?” Mondo asked.

“I don’t know if I can handle it,” James said.

“Of course you can handle it!” Mondo said.

“Yeah, Mondo’s right! You can do anything you set your mind to, James,” Jessie said.

James smiled shyly. “Thanks for the support,” he said quietly.

“You deserve it,” Mondo said.

-O-o-O-

James went into labor the next day. The scientists at the lab helped him give birth.

“It’s a girl,” James said to Meowth.

“What’s her name?” Meowth asked.

“Her number is #0775,” Dr. Fuji said.

James looked Dr. Fuji straight in the eye. “She has to have a name,” he said solidly.

Dr. Fuji was somewhat unnerved. “All right, then. What’s her name?”

“Her name is Willow.”

James got to keep his kitten with Meowth.

-O-o-O-

Epilogue

James and Meowth are living happily together with Jessie. Their daughter, Willow, is very smart. Mondo visits them.

They all quit Team Rocket. They got jobs with decent salaries.

The twerps don’t blast them off anymore.

The trio was meant to be happy after all.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the Story: If you have a baby as an experiment for a criminal organization, they'll totally let you name them and won't immediately whisk them away. They'll even let you keep the kid if you quit!

At least they didn't make James eat the placenta.

The Angsty Domestic Life of Team Rocket: Quite the Turn (part two of three)

Thirteen!me thought this story should be rated PG-13.

Thirteen!me was a goddamn idiot.

Part one is here.

Warnings: Pokémon/Human romantic relationship; unexplained mpreg/male pregnancy; workplace violence and murder; shaky grasp of the realities of pregnancy and childrearing; general angst; lack of medical and scientific knowledge; drunk Giovanni smoking crack; original characters; possible out-of-character moments for Jessie, James, and Meowth; self harm; odd ideas about romance and revenge; blood drinking (?!); FUCKING CANNIBALISM?!

-O-o-O-o-O-

It was a cold winter day. Meowth had decided to help James raise Methoni. Jessie still wanted them to think of plans to steal Pikachu and was being a slavedriver to them. Methoni was old enough to be able to understand their situation, but young enough for it to be better not to tell him.

That didn’t mean he didn’t know what was going on, which he did.

That day, James had come down with something because he and Jessie worked all day shoveling snow and burying Matalico. Meowth had to take care of Methoni because he and James didn’t want Methoni to get a cold.

Methoni was asking a lot of hard questions. The answers were too extreme so all Meowth could say was, “Let’s wait until you’re older.”

Then after literally twenty questions, Methoni asked the ultimate push-them-off-the-deep-end question: “What happened to my father and my sister?”

At that moment, James snapped.

He went into the bathroom, mumbling something about avenging Matalico’s death.

“I think he’s breaking down,” Meowth said.

-O-o-O-

James forced himself to vomit. He was punishing himself for letting Matalico die. Then he took a small razor and started to cut himself. After he made about ten cuts, he stopped.

He grabbed a pocketknife and climbed out of the bathroom window.

He ran to Giovanni’s headquarters. He broke into Giovanni’s office. The guards tried to catch him, but he was too fast for them.

When James arrived at Giovanni’s office, Giovanni was drunk and smoking crack.

“What do you want?” he yelled violently at James.

“I’m here because you killed Matalico!” James yelled.

Giovanni slapped James down with his ring hand. “I don’t care about that waste of a Meowth,” he said.

James took out the pocketknife and stabbed Giovanni.

When Giovanni finally stopped breathing, the guards came in and looked shocked.

“Don’t tell anyone about this if you know what’s good for you,” James said.

“Hey, take it easy, babe. We want to thank you for that. He was a slavedriver,” one of the guards said.

“You’re welcome,” James said.

When the guards left, James trashed the surveillance camera. He locked the door. He had killed Giovanni, but his work was far from over.

He poked a hole in one of Giovanni’s legs. Blood poured out of the hole. James collected the blood in a cup.

James cut off pieces of Giovanni’s flesh and began to eat it. The taste didn’t faze him; he’d eaten some pretty weird things when he was pregnant with Methoni.

After eating about a quarter of Giovanni’s flesh, James collected more blood. He began to drink the blood.

When he was done, he cleared away the remains of Giovanni. He had become dazed after doing that little cannibal homicide thing. It was probably because he had never eaten human flesh before. He had drank blood before, but it wasn’t human blood. Every time he, Jessie, and Meowth accidentally killed a Pokémon when they blasted off, James would stab the Pokémon and drink its blood to honor it. Jessie and Meowth knew about this habit; Jessie thought it was weird and Meowth thought it was brave.

James cleaned the blood off his clothing and face. He had to admit, he was pretty cute. That was why the guard had called him “babe.” He hoped they wouldn’t try to make him “do things” with them. He didn’t want to insult the ghost of Matalico.

James went back home. He entered the bathroom through the open window.

Then he realized what he’d done and started vomiting.

Meowth came in.

“James, are you okay?” he asked.

“What have I done?” James screamed.

“What do you mean?” Meowth said.

“Let’s just say, we don’t have a boss anymore.”

“What did….How did….?” Meowth wasn’t even finishing his sentences.

“I killed him.”

“What did you do with the body?” Meowth asked.

“I drank his blood and ate his flesh,” James answered, completely calm.

Meowth noticed the cuts on James’s arms. “Who did this to you?!” he asked, alarmed.

“I did,” James said.

Meowth looked at James sadly. He knew right away this was because Matalico was killed.

“You know what we have to do, don’t you?” he said.

“What?” James said.

“Turn you in.”

James screamed.

-O-o-O-

James woke up screaming.

It turned out it was all a nightmare.

He never killed Giovanni. He never drank Giovanni’s blood. He never went cannibal on Giovanni.

He had just fallen asleep in front of the toilet.

James remembered the horrible vision of Giovanni’s dead, rotting carcass. He rushed back to the toilet.

Meowth walked by. He heard James vomiting. He decided to leave James alone for a while.

Meanwhile, in the bathroom, the fact that he was no longer dreaming hit James.

He realized it was the day after Matalico was killed.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: Cannibalism and blood-drinking is no excuse for a messy appearance.

a fanfic dream I had

A black and red tombstone carved with eldritch symbols. Somehow, I could read the epitaph and it said:

"Here lies the ashes of Darkonogoth, a most powerful and dastardly demon. Drove Giovanni, High Priest of the Rocket Cult to utter madness. Reigned over a dark army of ghost Pokémon with Lord Commander Jessica Romanov at its helm. Sired several demonspawn on Warlock James, whom he considered little more than his magical mortal plaything. Ultimately defeated by a modified shitpost spell at the hands of a talking Meowth."

The Sad Saga of James Morgan and Company: My Writing Style Was Goblin Mode

Imagine being an eleven-year-old girl who is obsessed with Xena: Warrior Princess (and ripping off the dark plots from it) and Pokémon. Imagine being this kid who, after acting out her fanfics (that involve way too much human sacrifice and crucifixion) with her Barbies, decides she should actually write them down in a form other people can read.

Add a dose of repressed anger issues and you get this.

This fic contains: Colorful language; general angst; possible out-of-character moments for Jessie, James, and Meowth; violence; convoluted occult lore; blood; murderous, occult-powered Jessiebelle; attempted murder; Jessiebelle wants to honor-kill James(?!); Jessiebelle slut-shames James a lot; character death and resurrection; ellipses abuse; Jesus Hades Christ eleven!me tortured James a lot in fic (I don’t know why; he was and still is my favorite Pokémon character); James has bottlecap powers

-O-o-O-o-O-

*Imagine that Jessie, James, and Meowth have been trying witchcraft to do better at their job. It doesn't work for Jessie and Meowth, but it works for James. So he's a witch now. Imagine Jessiebelle is trying to kidnap James and is also a witch. Since James is a witch (whose powers are not supposed to be used for evil) and Team Rocket is an evil organization, the mismatch makes his powers go insane, weakening him.

*Jessiebelle sneaks up behind James while he's sitting at camp. He screams, but Jessiebelle puts a rag with knockout potion over his mouth. He passes out. Meowth comes on the scene.

Meowth: What did you do to him?! Jessiebelle: If he won't marry me, I'll have to marry him. I made him unconscious with a potion. I'll do the same with you.

*Meowth screams. Jessiebelle knocks him out with the potion and runs off with James, who is still unconscious.

*When Meowth comes to, Jessie is there.

Jessie: What happened to you? Where's James? Meowth: Jessiebelle used a potion to knock him out. She did that to me, too. I guess she took James away.

*They go out looking for James. Meanwhile, James comes to. He's chained to a wall. Jessiebelle is standing in front of him.

Jessiebelle: Did you have a nice nap?

*James magically screams so loud, Jessie and Meowth can hear him.

Meowth: That sounded like James!

*Back at the dungeon…

James: What are you trying to do to me? Jessiebelle: If you won't marry me, I'll just have to marry you. By force. And I know you're a witch, so those chains are witchcraft-proof.

*James tries to break the chains with his powers but it doesn't work. He screams. Jessiebelle puts her hand over his mouth.

Jessiebelle: Don't make me use the potion again.

*Jessie and Meowth climb through the window.

Jessie: You can't force him to marry you! Meowth: He doesn't love you!

*James looks relieved to see them.

Jessiebelle: I'll kill him if you two try anything.

*James's eyes widen. Jessiebelle turns to him.

Jessiebelle: You have dishonored your family, you know. If you resist marrying me, I'll have no choice but to kill you.

*James's widened eyes focus on the noose Jessiebelle is holding.

Jessiebelle: Either tie the knot or tie the noose. James: Why should I have to die because I don't want to get married? Jessiebelle: Shut up, or I'll blast you to pieces!

*Jessiebelle takes out a bulky wand that looks like a shotgun. James puts his head down.

Jessiebelle: And don't you dare try to scream again because I've got a really sharp dagger I'd like to test out on some flesh. (pulls out a really sharp dagger) Jessie: Stop threatening him! It makes no damn sense, killing him just because he doesn't want to get married. Jessiebelle: So you want to be killed with him? I can arrange that. James: Don't kill her! Jessiebelle: I told you to shut up, you insolent trollop! (takes out a needle with black liquid in it)

*James can't help it. He struggles against his chains. Jessiebelle pimp-slaps him across his face.

Jessiebelle: I told you, that's useless! Now, stop it! (kicks James) Meowth: You stop it! Quit trying to marry or kill him. I think you just want to marry him to kill him. Jessiebelle: That's not true. If he resists, I kill him. If he accepts, he lives. James: Why would I marry a murderer? Are you going to sacrifice me? Jessiebelle: That's it! I'll make you suffer, little witch! James: No, you won't! I'm not that same weak little child I was before. Jessiebelle: I can trigger your powers to go insane, you know. Jessie: I challenge you to a Pokémon battle, Jessiebelle! Jessiebelle: Fine. If you win, you can keep the little whore. If I win, I keep him. And possibly sacrifice him. Jessie: Don't call him a whore.

*They start the match. Jessie's Arbok wins the match and knocks Jessiebelle's Vileplume out. Jessie, James, and Meowth escape the dungeon. They look for a place to camp out.

Meowth: (to James) Are you okay? James: Why wouldn't I be? Meowth: You're not usually so quiet. James: I'm just tired.

*They find a place to camp out.

-O-o-O-

*Imagine Jessiebelle has a new way to kill James if he doesn't marry her. She makes him suffer and beg for death.

*Jessie, James, and Meowth are trying to think of a new plan for stealing Pokémon. Jessiebelle comes out of nowhere and grabs James inconspicuously.

Jessie: Where did James go? Meowth: I don't know. I think I saw him get grabbed by somebody.

*Jessiebelle is running off with James, who is magically screaming as loud as he can so Jessie and Meowth can track him.

Jessiebelle: Will you shut up, you harlot?

*Jessiebelle shuts James up with her knockout potion. When she gets to the dungeon, James wakes up.

Jessiebelle: All right. No more Miss Nice Warlock. James: What do you mean, "no more?" You were never Miss Nice Warlock. Jessiebelle: You're going to suffer until you beg for death. I'll be glad to fuck you up until you die. James: It'll be a cold day in hell before I beg for death. Jessiebelle: Well, I guess you'll be there in hell on that cold day.

*Jessie and Meowth set their tent up right next to the dungeon. Even though it's next to it, Jessiebelle can't see it because James left them a camouflage potion spray.

*Jessiebelle drags James outside (it's a really hot day) and ties him to some dead leafless tree that's in the sun. The sun is right on him and it's "no shadow time." He almost faints. Next, Jessiebelle throws rocks at him, but doesn't kill him with them. Then she makes him carry heavy bricks, barely clothed, through mud on a rainy day. That's his breaking point. James faints and the bricks are cutting his arms and legs, so now he's covered in mud and blood.

*Jessie and Meowth are unaware of all this happening until they find James's limp body lying there. He's not dead. When they take him into their tent, he wakes up.

James: What happened? (tries to sit up, but is still dizzy from the torture in the sun) Jessie: I don't know what she did to you. We just found you lying in the mud. James: I don't know if I remember all of what happened. (tries to sit up again, winces, clutches head) Meowth: Lie down. What happened to you?

*James tells them what he remembers.

James: I don't care what she does to me, I'm not marrying her. Meowth: If that bitch ever tries that again, I don't know what I'm gonna do, but it won't be good. Jessie: So what you're saying is, a fucking-up is in the question. Meowth: Yeah. Pretty much.

*Jessiebelle glances out the window. She squints through a magic scope and sees the tent.

Jessiebelle: Whoever's in that tent, you're squatting on private property and I have a right to shoot! (cocks wand)

*Jessie and Meowth tell James to stay inside. They get out of the tent.

Jessiebelle: Not you bastards again! What'd you do with James? Jessie: He's not with us right now. Jessiebelle: My ass! (jumps out window onto tent)

*Jessiebelle lands next to James.

Jessiebelle: I'm locking you up and throwing away the key!

*James screams. Jessiebelle puts her hand over his mouth. He bites her hand. It doesn't faze her. She takes James inside the dungeon and locks the door behind them.

*Inside….

Jessiebelle: You know what happens now? First, I'll get your little friends.

*Jessiebelle drags Jessie and Meowth in with a sucking wind and chains them to the wall with witchcraft-proof chains.

Jessiebelle: Next I'll test out my new dagger on their necks. James: Don't kill them, kill me. Jessiebelle: What was that? James: I said, kill me instead. Jessiebelle: Fine. (walks over to James and stabs him)

*James slides down the wall, leaving a trail of blood. Jessiebelle unchains Jessie and Meowth.

Jessiebelle: You can't help him now, so I might as well let you free. (leaves in a cloud of red smoke) Meowth: No….(walks over to James) No….he's not dying….we can save him.

*James isn't quite dead yet.

James: I'm sorry. It's true. I am dying. Meowth: No, you're not. I can help you. I'm sorry we didn't save you in time. James: (coughs up blood) She moves too fast. Nobody can stop her. At least she won't bother you now I'm dying. Meowth: You're not dying. Just don't talk, save your strength, maybe you'll live. James: (painfully) Nobody can live through being (breathes with difficulty) mortally wounded. Meowth : Is this goodbye?

*James's eyes close. They don't open again. Meowth holds James's hand in his paw. James's hand is cold.

Meowth: He's dead. Jessie: I guess it was too much for him. The suffering was, I mean.

*Meowth starts to cry. Jessie holds him.

Jessie: Maybe we could try one of those rituals to bring him back. Meowth: But how? The powers didn't come to us. Jessie: Then we'll steal some of Jessiebelle's.

*They find Jessiebelle's spell books and supplies. They find a cauldron and start trying to mix the potions. They sacrifice three Spearow, prick their fingers, and add their own blood to the cauldron. Then they drip their own blood on the floor, making markings, and place James's body in the center. They pour some of the potion on James. He comes back to life.

James: I'm alive. (gasps) Meowth: Don't get worked up. We don't want you fainting when you've just come back to life. James: I'm not worked up. I'm happy.

*The three of them hug and get out of there.

Meowth: I managed to grab this. (pulls out a bottle of potion) But I don't have anything to cover it.

*James zaps a bottle cap out of the air and puts it on the potion bottle. Team Rocket walks into the sunset.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: Eleven!me knows way too many synonyms for "whore." Also, James's powers are magical screaming, conjuring bottlecaps, and mixing potions.

More of Team Rocket's Life in Wilow Creek

James and Meowth roast marshmallows with Liberty Lee, who clips through James.

Jessie also roasts marshmallows. They did this repeatedly, despite having a perfectly good fridge that works off grid and the ability to just pull hot dogs out of the ether to roast.

"If we're dressed like marshmallows and we eat the marshmallows, does that count as cannibalism?"

"Quit huffin' campfire fumes, Jimmy."

I got them a bee box. James bonded with the bees.

I also had him get started on the garden. Note the garlic, since Vlad will likely be lurking around.

Jessie was surprisingly unbothered by the outdoor toilet.

"It really does smell like roses!"

James, having had the misfortune of using it last (after Meowth), did not share this opinion.

"Why me?"

I think Human Meowth ended up kind of cute. (The markings on his face are supposed to imitate whiskers.)

I think Jessie and James turned out pretty nicely, too.

Kitty Meowth got bitten by a squirrel (nothing fatal, since this is the Sims).

So James took him to the vet's office.

Meowth got some new headgear.

He looks like he wants to cut a bitch, but he no longer has opposable fingers.

Jessie took up painting.

"Turn up your nose all you want--now that you have one--but the Sims around here call this 'High Art.'"

"More like, 'Are You High' Art."

They devolved into a verbal slapfight about Meowth's lack of taste. James wondered if maybe he should just sleep on the bench in the vet's office that night.

Also, a family portrait:

They're so cute.