Tw Purge - Tumblr Posts
I feel like I'm crawling through an abyss......life sucks rn and I don't think I'd mind it su king as much if I were skinning....betcha I'll do something I'll regret this week......
Tw self triggering, b!nging, sarcasm XD
Did my 1st ever planned b!ng@. All properly p@rged afterwards.
-creamy chicken ramen
- medium rare steak
- keto turkey sausage and cheese eggwich (egg patties as bun )
- mini corndogs
- chocolate marshmallow bar
- iced sugar cookie
- protein shake
- water
Weird mix ik but it's what I had. I'm trying to be rid of the rest of the high c@l food I have (I'm broke so I can't afford more ) but I figure if it's going in the trash anyway why not just enjoy it first before it's tossed XD.
2 weeks out from HUGE family thing. It's crunch time people! I need tips! I need encouragement! I need to not lose my mind!
Counting today as a success, 2/3 meals today consisted of this really yummy chicken and ginger broth(no veggies no egg no nothing)
I also had a bot of steak and some pretzels
I created an account on yazio so if any of yall wanna be friends in there. Plus the paid version is like supper cheap for some great tool(jeez I sound like an add)
Today suuuucked but I'm still here so that's something.
Tomorrow is a new day of counting every bite
If you bite it, write it
If you nibble it, scribble it
A moment on the lips is a lifetime on the hips
My new app has been working. I've been doing a decrease of 200 kcals a day. I'm on day 4 now. According to my w@ight it wants me to eat 2.5k kcals a day with light exercise. Yeeeeaaah no. I'm down to 1.2k rn 1lb lost. Also doing the 50 squat challenge. 50 squats in a row no breaks. I'll be ready for 100 before I know it.
Staying with my parents is weird....I've been jobless since July and have on and off again been staying with them.....they haven't noticed my habits yet tho....
I am a failure
Today has been on and off eating and p@rging. Not even an actual bing@ (except for the one I had today because I already screwed up....)
I'm glad sometime that I know that fun little trick as a mi@ girl. Wish I'd learned it sooner tho.......
Stay safe people, drink water, take yer meds, have a nap.
People like the other one I made a lot so here is :
The Moth Diet
Moths are more standoffish than Butterflies. Moth are easily distracted by the bright and shiny.
Why eat when you can play video games and drink sf energy drinks and soda.
RULES:
Keep a mostly liquid diet as well with this one but lean into the more savory side.
Drinks should be soda or energy drinks. Sf apple juice with cinnamon as a nice treat or a coffee with low fat milk and pie spice.
Soups should be warm in temp and color. No need to show off so much. People revel in our natural colors.
While the Butterflies munch on fruit, you as a moth should lean toward lower sugar and eat more veggies.
Baked oat muffins are wonderful for hitting protein and fiber goals if you find yourself wanting substance.
A moth should dress in neutral tones.
Be reserved and elegant. Show of your cute without drawing everyone's attention.
@honeysugarfree
My cousins are walking thisp@. So light delicate and elegant. Why did I get stuck being fat and ugly. We ate the same things today and yet I was the one who p@rged after every meal and snack. After this vacation we're getting strict #underwə!htoctober
Real tbh
Welcome to :
Weird Meals my D!sordered Brain makes me eat!
So um sometimes my brain does some weird stuff and I end up with yummy abominations....like
Carrot noodle salad!
First use a spiralizer to make carrot noodles
(4 carrots 40 kcals)
Next chop up random protein for salad as well as any other veggies you want ( 4 pickles 10kcals, 11 shrimp 90kcals, turkey 70kcals)
Next stick the "noodles" in a pan for like 2 mins. You want them bendy but not soft.
Remove from heat and add to a bowl with the other mutilated ingredients. I topped my bowl with vegan mayo (70kcals) and cotija cheese (90kcals)
Ummm Happy unhinged mealtime.......
Today marks the first day of Omad October.
Okay so I didn't eat om today but I did keep under 800kcals. Omad begins tmr now that I'm away from my parents house.
Alright guys, I'll report my stats back to you all November 1st.
SW 230lbs
CW 215lbs
GW(by the end) 180lbs (long shot ik)
Max cals per day 800
64 oz water
10k steps
high key feel like sh!t
i have come to the conclusion that dinner is a slippery slope. My grandparents got soup and bread and salad. even if i tried i couldn't not eat in front of them. ps: don't eat the extra 3 oatmeal cookies :(
if bad, why so pretty pink??
happy death day
A/N: Purge night.
-SKZ x reader, 18+.
mature content, violence etc. its the purge. more warnings later
next!
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You hated this “holiday” with a passion. It was cruel, violent and in your opinion, completely unnecessary. It wasn’t worth a few years of lowered poverty in the country to let everyday people become murderers just for fun. And you stood by it. Declined participation, parties, even hanging out with friends. You did none of it. Never would. You swore to yourself that after that one night when those eight men held your father and mother hostage while you were tied to a chair, which was in turn tied to a wall, torturing them slowly before killing them in front of you, you would never even acknowledge the horrendous night. So, you didn’t. You saved up and bought the best home protection you could, hiding away under blankets until your ears were blasted by the alarms that signaled 7am.
Tonight was the annual purge night. Work was filled with preparing purgers stocking up on their energy drinks and snacks. Oh the joys of working at a gas station. Gas prices were lowered for the day so purgers could fuel their vehicles of carnage, bullets and pocket knives were also half off. You hated that the most, your stock in the back was mostly shotgun shells and 12mm’s stacked beside boxes of pocket knives and ball-point pens because people had a strange liking towards pens around purge night. The 4:30pm close could not come sooner, your eyes staring daggers at the clock beside you. It was almost painful waiting, your stomach twisting, head a little fuzzy and hands sweating. It was far from your best feeling. You’d place an orgasm at the top of that list for sure.
The small chime of the bell hung above the door caught your attention, eyes drifting over to watch as eight men sauntered through, broad shoulders clad in leather, boots clicking against the tiled floor and faces already covered with black face masks. Some sported black caps, others slicked back hair and one who had achingly bright blue hair. You blinked at the bright colour, your eyes scanning the others as they spread out, gloved hands tracing shelves before your eyes caught the muscle of one of their arms, the veins in his arm pronounced as he lifted a case of diet soda. The realization he was grabbing diet soda made you laugh a little, not noticing the set of eyes it drew towards your position leant against the counter.
His intense gaze soon registered and you glanced in the general direction it was coming from, one of the tallest staring straight back at you with unblinking and dark eyes. It made you clear your throat and turn to start locking up the nicotine products for the night, time flying away as you glanced back at the clock which now read 4:20. Great, you thought, almost done. You locked up what needed to be locked behind the counter with practiced ease, muscle memory guiding you as you started zoning out. You didn’t even realize you completely zoned out until one of eight cleared their throat to get your attention. Turning in an almost graceful circle, your eyes widened slightly as you saw them all gathered with armfulls of things for the night. You huffed a small sigh and walked back up to be nearly flush with the counter, hand grabbing the scanner in preparation.
“You guys got everything? Not gonna be breaking in when I close up to get something you forgot because you were distracted by the soda choices?”
A few of them chuckled, the clear ring leader shaking his head as the one holding the soda visibly shrugged in a clearly unfazed motion. You hummed as the leader started piling items, your hands working double time to grab, scan and push away items as they slid one after the other. It took you two minutes to scan everything they had gathered in their tour, your hands now busy bagging as the leader typed in his card pin. Everything paid for and most things bagged, you could feel their eyes on you as you neatly placed the last of their protein bars in a small paper bag.
“Okay. That should be everything right?”, you sighed as you glanced up and accidentally made eye contact with every single one of them.
Their eyes almost made you zone out, something about them so alluring and dangerous… it made your heart race as you shakily pushed their last bag forward as the leader nodded again, his eyes catching yours for an unnerving moment as they began exiting with bags in hand. You cleared your throat to rid yourself of some nervous energy as you rounded the corner as the leader left, hands turning the lock quickly, your back meeting the cool glass as you let out a large sigh, your head dropping forward as the revving of a clearly modded engine filled your ears. The muffler shot twice before the heat of eight gazes left you free to sprint around, shutting off lights, locking things down and couple checking the front before you booked it out of the side door to your little punch buggy.
The click of the locks echoed slightly in your car before you started it, the time ticking slowly towards 7pm as you released a long breath. The journey home would be stressful. All the purge goers taunting the scared people with machine guns and shotguns as they drove past, cars bumper to bumper as you crawled through the streets to get home. The main street was the worst of it, your eyes scanning over 70 cars in front of and behind you on both sides of the road. It made your hands sweat more, small shakes running through your body as the clock ticked to 6:30pm. Half an hour to get home and activate your systems. Fuck. You glanced around frantically, the side road blissfully empty of large amounts of traffic, the crowd generally being too afraid of more secluded zones to take side streets.
Using that to your advantage, you swerved off onto the side street, speeding up significantly as you took a new, slightly longer route to your house. Well, technically your parents house. Your childhood home actually… you just stayed in it due to the convenience of owning it and the short distance from many stores you frequented often. Taking slightly sharper turns than normal, you arrived home with three minutes to spare, the sun setting peacefully in a mocking show before the carnage of the night began. Hands trembling and fumbling with your keys, you dropped them as you approached your doorstep. A loud curse and you were bending to grab them in a panic, eyes scanning your peripherals as the announcement froze your body mid bend.
Your heart beat faster as the announcement progressed, your body kicking into flight mode as you sprinted into the house after unlocking the door, your harsh breaths filling your ears as you locked the door, hand already punching in the security code and locking down the house. Your wide eyes watched the metal plates slide down over your large living room windows, the large black truck across the road sending a tingle down your spine before the barricades slammed shut and locked in place with a resounding clang. The loud alarms rang out seconds later, the noise making you jump as gunshots rang through the streets already, screams echoing from people who couldn’t make it inside in time.
Relaxing with the added noises and suffering outside was easier said than done, your tv on 45 to block it out but failing as trucks sputtered by, screams following, guns firing, more screams. It was torture. You needed a larger distraction, you decided as your security camera showed you a large black van blaring its speakers, a man's voice breaking through the static of it periodically.
“Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!”
A disgusted shiver ran down your spine, neck curving back and shoulders scrunching up before you shook it off and headed upstairs. A shower would help. Yeah, you thought, a nice warm shower, some music, a candle. Perfect way to distract yourself from outside. So gathering a change of clothes, sleep shorts and a nice big hoodie plus your comfiest pair of underwear, you started the shower, your music blasting. Stripping went quickly, your eyes avoiding the mirror as you walked past it. Stepping into the shower, most noise drowned away, “Boss” by NCT U guiding your head as you bobbed it along to the beat, lip syncing your favourite parts as you ran your hands through your hair. Your eyes closed in bliss as you let yourself float away in the beat and the comforting embrace of the water as it streamed down your body.
Your bliss was slightly disrupted as the next song started, the hard-hitting drum resonating in your bones as the lyrics started.
“나나나나나나나나 나나나나나나나나나,”
You nodded along, your body rolling slightly as the beat picked up further, your mind partially blanking as you got lost in the routine of your shower.
“Happy death day, happy, happy worst day,”
Foot tapping in tune with the chorus, your eyes opened to reach for your body wash and loofa, scrubbing away the nervousness in eucalyptus and mint as the song echoed in the small room.
“Wе're closer to death,”
You lost track of time, the last few verses cutting through the air as you turned off the shower slowly, towel wrapping around your body as you shivered in the rapidly cooling air. Your hands almost vibrated as you dressed quickly, your hands pausing as the song finished itself off a little too slowly for the moment.
“I'm so sick of the fakes, I'm so sick of the fakes,”
You mouthed the words, hands straightening the hem of the hoodie once you pulled it on properly, your eyes scanning your reflection with a certain distaste as you brushed your hair.
Vroom. Vroom. Vroom.
You rolled your eyes at the revving, placing your hairbrush back down on the counter and flicking off the light with a sigh.
Crash.
“Run, run for your life, run, run for your life.”
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tag list: @artisticbirb
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next.
happy death day II
A/N: Purge night.
-SKZ x reader, 18+.
mature content, violence etc. its the purge. skz lowkey yandere. reader gets hurt and will continue to get hurt. descriptions of violence and injury.
prev. - next.
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previously on happy death day:
You lost track of time, the last few verses cutting through the air as you turned off the shower slowly, towel wrapping around your body as you shivered in the rapidly cooling air. Your hands almost vibrated as you dressed quickly, your hands pausing as the song finished itself off a little too slowly for the moment.
“I'm so sick of the fakes, I'm so sick of the fakes,”
You mouthed the words, hands straightening the hem of the hoodie once you pulled it on properly, your eyes scanning your reflection with a certain distaste as you brushed your hair.
Vroom. Vroom. Vroom.
You rolled your eyes at the revving, placing your hairbrush back down on the counter and flicking off the light with a sigh.
Crash.
“Run, run for your life, run, run for your life.”
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The song ended too abruptly for your liking, the silence ringing through your head as you pause your music, muffled voices from your tv reaching your ears along with heavy footsteps that widened your eyes. Your mind raced back to that fateful purge night with your parents, your hands trembling in full as you quietly left the bathroom and peeked through your bedroom door, two of the people making their way up the stairs, pistols in hand as they slammed open doors.
You shut your bedroom door with a panicked breath, slowly turning the small lock to give yourself a false sense of security despite hearing the loud bangs of the other doors and knowing it wouldn’t hold even if you wanted it too. Your eyes scanned your room, under the bed was too obvious, the closet was as well, you had no chance of fitting under your dresser and so you were left with the bathroom. Sneaking back into the foggy room, you looked around in fear.
If you were found, there was no way anything good was going to happen. That you knew for certain. Your shower was way too obvious but the curtain provided enough of a hide for you to grab your blow dryer and hide with it as a weapon. Your small closet of towels called your name as well so you opened it to see if you could fit, panic taking over your body as you realized you couldn’t fit. Staring at yourself in the mirror, you sighed before glancing down and realizing you've hid under the sink before. You could fucking fit. Swinging open the doors as quickly and quietly as you could, you gathered everything, using the banging of the door to your office to deposit everything into the shower.
Your hands trembled still as you slid into the empty space, taking a deep breath before you slid under the pipe and situated yourself as comfortably as you could. Closing the doors as your bedroom door was slammed open, heavy footsteps following immediately as you covered your mouth. Thankful you left the washroom door open, you watched the faint shadow of someone take slow steps towards the shower, your body flinching at the drag of the curtain rings on the metal bar. The footsteps of the second person followed, steps just as heavy as you heard the hinges of the linen closet squeak at the force it was opened with. You heard a confused grunt from one of them, your pride rising in volume until you cheered yourself a little too much and smacked your head on the pipe. Hard.
“Ow.”, you whimpered, hands flying to cover your hurting head and mouth as the footsteps leaving the room paused.
A menacing chuckle followed the short silence, hairs standing on end as one of them whistled what sounded like a nursery rhyme. The creepy tune of it made you cower further into the cupboard before the doors swung open and a gloved hand reached in for you, fingers grasping a handful of your still wet hair and dragging you from your confined space. You grunted and fought against the hold, your eyes scanning them both, the shock of blue hair making you whine as you realized they had probably followed you from work. The one holding you scoffed, a sharp kicking sending pain down your leg as it hit your thigh. Wincing and biting your cheek to stop another noise of pain leaving you, you struggled harder in his hold.
“Will you fucking stop moving?”, he grunted, hand tightening in your hair to pull you kicking and nearly screaming from the washroom.
Your eyes trained on the blue haired boy, eyes pleading with him to help you out some, your silent wishes coming true as he made a hand motion to his comrade, the grip loosening just slightly. Your eyes watered as he dragged you into the hall, his voice echoing through the stairs and over the murmur of the tv still playing.
“We’ve got her! It’s go time!”
Affirmative shouts were sent back, footsteps appearing and some fading, all going in the same direction. The kitchen. The noise of the tv cut out moments later, a figure sauntering past the bottom of the stairs you now stood above, hands gripped behind your back and hair still held in a painful grasp. The eye contact was brief, his dark eyes lighting up with something you could only guess was excitement before he was out of sight and you were being shoved down the stairs. Your head hit a few steps, your knees aching and arms already sore as you rolled into a wall with a loud thump. You whined pitifully, hands coming to cradle your head before you pulled them away just as quick, the dull shine of blood on your hands making your eyes water for a different reason.
Shaking it off the best you could, you weakly pushed yourself away from the wall, each movement painful and sending sharp pains to your head. A mocking laugh reached you from halfway down the stairs, your eyes finally focusing as the two who found you stepped down the stairs like a princess at a ball.
“Awe, did you hit your head? Don’t worry. We’ll fix it right up! You won’t even notice it when we break some bones~”, his tone was nothing but sincere, a throat clearing sending you into action.
Your legs shakily pushed you up from the floor, hands trailing blood on the walls as you sprinted towards the hole in your house, the black truck still parked in the now open space. Using it to your advantage, you slid past the truck and the broken wall, a sort of distant voice freezing you.
“Han, Jeongin. Get her back here. Now.”, the voice was lilted with an accent, tone contrasting in boredom as two sets of footsteps barrelled towards you at a nearly inhumane speed.
It sent you back into motion, screams and gunshots from outside pushing you faster as you booked it down your driveway. Approaching the sidewalk with a sharp left turn, you celebrated your escape before a body knocked into yours, sending you forward onto your already bruising knees as your hands automatically tucked in to save your head from more injuries.
The harsh breaths in your ear and the weight on your drained body was the worst reminder that you had failed. It got even worse as you were pulled to your feet again, your two chasers each holding an arm and nearly carrying you back into your house. A disappointed gaze met yours briefly before his black hair fell enough over his eyes to obscure the nagging feeling in your head that you had seen that exact gaze before, and not just at work.
“You shouldn't have done that. We were going to be nicer considering your past, but here you are doing exactly what you had tried three purges ago.”, the leader of your assailants pulled his mask from his face, his jaw clenched as he watched you take in his words.
You shuddered through your breaths, arms trembling in the holds of the other two, your brain blanking on what he was insinuating. Two of them laughed loudly, realizing you had no idea what their leader had meant. Gazes snapped their way, the two nearly leaning on each other from the force behind their mirth. It slowly clicked in each of their heads as your eyebrows furrowed, eyes swapping between all of theirs in an attempt to click it together like they had a little over a year ago during the last purge. For them, it was seeing you sprinting from your home in a panic as you realized you were late for work because your bedside alarm was an hour behind suddenly.
It became clearer to them as they continued to follow you, plotting their purge like they had done that fateful purge night that took your parents’ lives in a mere two hours. They had been watching your every move, making note of who you were friends with and sending one of the biggest purge names, ATEEZ, after them one by one until you would be entirely alone after tonight. It was ambitious, but so were they and they had nothing to lose. Except you. And that would not happen. Not unless it was by their hands. Which is exactly where you were. In their hands after so much time not being able to approach you, sweep you off your feet and make love to you in so many ways that nothing else compared to the feeling they gave you when you were filled to the brim with their cocks.
Your eyes remained clueless, slightly hazy as you scanned their eyes for any indication. Finding none, you gave up. The panic filled you again as you realized just how fucked you were right now. Two strong holds on your arms, legs weak, six other clearly strong men standing less than a foot to a foot away from you. There was no escape. But that didn’t mean you couldn’t try.
Arms tugging roughly, you thrashed in their hold, a third shorter member of their group rounding your body to wrap you in one of the strongest back hugs you had ever felt. Unfortunately it wasn’t a back hug, and they were far from done stamping out your struggles, your mouth opening to scream as loud as you could to, hopefully, disarm them slightly. You didn’t get far in your plan, a large palm striking your cheek, your head flying to the right to meet the hardened stare of the shorter one holding you.
Slap.
Slap.
Slap.
Slap.
Crack.
You gasped in pain, your legs buckling as pain shot through them. Your cheeks ached, the sting of the slaps from the one who threw you down the stairs fading too slowly in response to the new pain. Looking down in a split second, a sob tore through your chest, the bone in your shin pressing against your skin, protruding the area as blood slowly trickled from a pierced spot. The full amount of the pain registered after your second sob, your fists clenching as you were set on the floor. You gasped for breath, shaking hands cradling the spot as lightly as possible, eyes wide and dropping tears down your reddened cheeks as they stood around you and watched. One of them sighed, a brief hand motion escaping your notice before you were lifted into someone's arms, the motion too much and too fast for your broken leg, pained cries leaving you at double the speed.
“Oh shut her up already!”
“Will you shut up already?!”
“Both of you shut up!”
“I didn’t start it! Minho is being a bitch!”
“And Sungie is being annoying!”
You groaned in annoyance at their bickering, your eyes closing as your ass met the hard surface of your dining table chair, hands being drug behind you and tied in what felt like an overly complicated series of knots. Your leg ached as it was lightly tied to the leg of the chair, your other leg tied tighter and to the leg of another chair which the blue haired boy sat in with a huff, pulling off his mask in obvious annoyance as you watched him with a raised eyebrow, your struggles forgotten and pain overwhelming your rational thoughts.
“Pretty…”, you muttered, eyes still overflowing with tears from other sources of pain.
The boy's freckles caught your attention, his delicate nose accentuating them in the best way you could think of as his blue hair dropped over his forehead in a classic 90’s romance heartthrob style. He huffed once more, toned arms crossing his now exposed chest, leather jacket long gone and probably in the truck as he watched you admire him.
“If you take a picture, it’ll last longer, y’know?”, his deep voice came as a shock, the sound startling you into tugging your injured leg away from the chair in a literal knee jerk reaction.
You whined at the pain, gasping for breath as the pain shot through you again. It fizzled out in your head, eyes going unfocused as you watched his eyes trace your features.
“You’re quite beautiful. I know you don’t know that, but you should. You’re stunning.”
“Yah! Felix stop flirting with our purgee!”
The boy in question groaned loudly, a small hand raising to flip off the back hugger.
“Both of you stop arguing! All of you stop! This is about her, not us!”, their leader's voice cut through the arguments you realized were happening in the background of your not-so-silent Felix appreciation.
A chorus of sorries filled the room, tones of dejected boys dragging through your ears as you watched them pull chairs around you in a half circle. Their eyes watched you, unmoving gazes dark and some curious as you breathed heavily through the now aching pains shooting through your body consistently.
“Now, Y/N-”
“How the fuck do you know my name?”
Slap.
You grunt, eyes narrowing at the man you determined to be Minho as his hand lowered back to his side.
“You have your mothers glare. Don’t make me gut you like I did her.”, he growled in your face as he raised himself from his seat to stare you down sternly.
“How-H-...”, your voice broke, throat tight as you swallowed nothing, “Why me now?! Didn’t you have enough of my parents?! While I watched?!”
A sob caught in your throat, memories replaying of the night in question, the muffled screams of your parents as they were sliced, diced and broken into what could’ve only been considered a mush of red, white and yellow. Your heart skipped a bit remembering the mess you were left in, their laughs echoing through your head as they walked out of the front door at 7am like they were simply over for a sleepover or a party. The reality was much different and at times you felt as though you could still feel their blood and sliced organs in your hands as you tried to clean up.
“Ohwe are you remembering now? How we cut open your mother as she screamed and sobbed, your father begging us to leave you alone? His precious child, all tied up and witnessing his death. He couldn’t fathom it!”, Minho's tone was dramatic, nearly sarcastic as he went on a small monologue while watching pain build behind your eyes, tears falling even faster down your still rosy cheeks.
“S-stop it-”
Slap.
“I’ll stop when I feel like it. So shut your dumb mouth and remind yourself of how desperate your poor daddy was for us to not hurt you. Good thing we didn’t hm? Now we’re your daddies.”, his lips brushed your ear as you trembled, Felix’s small hand rubbing your leg in what would be a comforting motion if the smirk he wore wasn’t something of nightmares.
Your head shook violently from left to right, hair flying in all directions until Minho grabbed a handful, stopping your motions with that same harsh grip. Your scalp stung, eyes closing tightly as he tugged your head forward before he let go, the restraints digging into your arms as you fell forwards with the motion. He scoffed a laugh at you, sitting down just off center in a chair across from you.
“Go ahead, Lixie. She’s waiting for you so patiently~”
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taglist; @artisticbirb @extremechaoswarning
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next.