Tw: Death Threats - Tumblr Posts

This is Chapter Three part TWO! Please read chapters one, two and 3 (part one) FIRST!

Note: any derogatory comments about Mario being a little person will get deleted and you will be blocked.

PLEASE READ TAGS

Tags: tw:cartoon violence /tw:(mild) body horror/ tw:blood/ tw: injuries/ tw: minor character in danger/ tw: verbal abuse of a minor character/ tw: manipulation/ tw: major character death/ tw: minor character death/ tw:death threats

So happy I managed to get this update out on schedule. Thank you all for being patient waiting two months between updates, these pages take time! Anyway, this is the end of the flash back, we will be back to the present with the next chapter! And well, things are heating up, as you can see :)

I spent a lot of time on this, so if you like it, let me know! thank you all for reading :)

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Previous: chapter 3(part 1)

Next: chapter four part one

Start from the beginning Here!

This is a sequel, please read "Change" comic first!

I should... Jump offline for a little while. Days, probably. This platform is affecting my mental health. It's making me want to interfere in other's lives because I hate the things going on... Makes me want to-

Literally everyone doing wrong. Just jump to other universes and give them all the hypothermia treatment... The only way some of these problems would be solved is if those people were to...

...

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...I should go. I need to... Think about these thoughts. They're not...

...

...

...See you guys later.

- Colanda Achroma

//Landa needs a break.

//Maybe I could have another Colress Achroma takeover? Or Otus can hijack the account? Or I could focus on Chili?

//I don't know.

Speaking of cutting it off...

The man I was referring to in my second to last post was insufferable in general.  However the last part was particularly triggering with the “cutting it off” thing

One time, he went into the bathroom with two knives after threatening to cut his penis off.  

You see, in the correspondence he read between me and the men I cheated with, I "got back” at him by saying rude things about him.  I was angry, hurt, feeling helpless, and I got some juvenile satisfaction out of trashing his “manhood”.  I said he was small and that he didn’t satisfy me.  In reality, he was quite average and he didn’t satisfy me, but that had nothing to do with his hardware.

I felt I was the cause of all this distress (and he, of course, reinforced this later).  He’d also threatened to kill himself.  What I didn’t seem to qualify is that he’d also threatened to maim and kill me that day.

Even knowing he could turn those knives on me, and that I would be in close quarters with someone who was in the mindset of cutting off a part of his body, I ran into that room screaming.  I think I slipped and fell on the way in, but I managed to get in before he could block me out.

I talked him into handing the knives over to me, but only after being berated for screaming (didn’t I know the neighbours might hear?), and threatened to be gutted a few times -  verbally and with violent, threatening gestures.

Remembering this has made my whole body shudder and quake.  I wonder at my luck, sometimes; how on earth did I survive this man?

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That would require me to feel shame about this subject, which I simply don't 🤷‍♀️

it would be a little easier if the people who were "coping with childhood sexual abuse" by making content that is perfectly described as "child pornography" seemed a little less gleeful about it. But what do I know.

Kankri, what do you prefer, a death threat or someone making advances on you?

I am already dead, I died a millennia's w9rth 9f m99ns ag9 S9 t9 make such a threat w9uld mean n9thing unless made 6y the L9rd E. himself.

H9WEVER I D9 N9T C9ND9NE DEATH THREATS, if y9u c9nduct such 6ehavi9rs I will 9nly perceive y9u with gander6ul6s full 9f disapp9intment, 6ut I rather s9me9ne make an empty threat than s9licited me despite the fact I am celi6ate.

VENT + CW: Mentions of self-hate, 4bu$e, SH, Su1c1d@l thoughts, death threats

this is a vent, scroll past if youre just gonna degrade my feelings or feel uncomfortable

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I hate everything about me, my jokes, my laugh, my voice, my body, everything. I wanna make jokes, i wanna make people laugh, but it just gets them hurt in the end. I wanna keep myself safe, but at the same time i wanna get comfy, i wanna be myself. Because when i was young, i never get to be who i want to be because that just gets me abused in the process. It's been too tiring for me to put on a show for people just so they can enjoy me, i'm doing everything just for people to enjoy.

its not like they'll care about my true colors or not, it's not like im anything important to them. I feel like im nothing, like a bag of meat, like a person who just needs to go back into their hole and stay there

I wanna let out my true colors, but its too difficult, people are always there to look down on you. I hate being looked down upon as if im a child. Being takes as a child just makes me feel like im inferior, and i want to be taken seriously. I wanna be myself, but being myself isnt enough. I dont become comfy in public spaces, i dont wanna be babied by people online and in real life, it makes me feel smaller and reminds me more of how much insecurities and problems im holding in my body, it makes me feel like im unimportant.

Now for the abuse part. Theres so many things going on in my life that i dont want to share, but i feel like i should share this: I got heavily abused by my sister not long ago. I will not go into detail about what is she doing to me, but it just keeps happening to me all the time. She keeps telling me to kill myself, i dont want that to happen, i dont wanna keep her in my life, i dont want her to keep doing this to me. But at the same time, i cant, she's always there, always blaming me for everything, always degrading me, always aiming and abusing me when she could. She never respects my personal space, she never wants me to express my emotions healthily, she never wants me to be myself. If i tell one of my "jokes" to her, she'll call me disgusting and resort to yelling at me and verbably abusing me.

This has gone overboard. it has gone to the point of me harming myself, i've been cutting down on sleep, hitting myself, scratching myself, and more. I cant help but feel like i wanna kill myself because of her, i want my life to be over with, its not like anyone will miss me, its not like anyone cared or liked me anyway, its not like anyone will care about me, after all, i'm inferior and a literal baby to them. I'm stupid and useless, i'm a terrible person.

frustration with art like that is understandable IMO, but only when the person ingesting the media hasn't done their due diligence to block tags, set filters, etc. every platform that has tags, has a way to BLOCK those tags I personally don't!! enjoy or appreaciatate child gore, it sets me off, so what do I do? block the tag. I have every right to be frustrated when an author does a shitty job tagging, but I don't get the right to harrass and death threaten a creator for doing their own thing. But luckily I'm on the good side of tumblr, mostly dog videos and pixel art here chat.

did some thinking after getting into a big argument in a discord server

gonna avoid main fandom tags on my incest/dark art and writing, just gonna slap willmike or whatever on it so i don't get harassed

he only get's a headpat, because i feel merciful today, otherwise, that little shit would be D E A D.

I am sad to say that I am also an undertale fan