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𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫: 𝐢'𝐦 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐞 (𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢'𝐦 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲)

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: the line between lust and hate is awfully slim between theo and you, resulting in something that changes everything between the two of you

warnings: (like massive) spoilers for the great gatsby, mentions of sex, cursing, let me know if i missed anything else

notes: i’m just gonna quickly leave this here hehe

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monday felt like you had woken up in a different world. cursed legacy had made it their personal task to spend their time with you, much to yours and theo’s dismay.

they treated you like you were their friend again and while you had to admit that you didn't hate that, you still hated theo and being their friend meant being in his presence the entire time.

it started during math-, when enzo and mattheo decided to sit down in between april and you. leaving no other option but for their friends to follow behind them,- and reached it’s peak during english.

it was the only class that mattered to you, like really mattered to you. you knew it did to theo too, so you couldn’t understand how he had to ruin everything. atleast all had gone great, until the end. then all hell had broken loose.

"okay, we don't have too much time left" mrs walker said with a look to the clock "but i do have one last question: do you think daisy and mr gatsby should've ended up together?"

you raised your hand and mrs walker nodded. "yes, y/n?"

"i don't think so" you said honestly "i don't think they should've been involved with each other in the first place. i get that she had a shitty husband and she should've definitely left him, but she was at fault for everything that went wrong in gatsby's life and her loved her too much to realize that"

"thank you" mrs walker nodded before she gave the word to theo.

you turned your head in surprise. you hadn't even noticed him raising his hand. honstely, you had thought that he didn't even read the book in the first place.

"i disagree" he said.

"what a wonder" you muttered under you breath.

"daisy was everything he always wanted. she was the green light at the end of the peer and he might've been blinded by love, but isn't that what love is about? being so blinded that you would do anything for your person?"

you raised your eyebrows and send a look in theo's direction. you noticed that draco was wearing a similiar look as his eyes glided back and fourth between theo and the book in his hands, probably wondering if they had read the same story.

"sorry" you raised your arm "you could be right, but your're not"

mattheo beside you snorted.

"gatsby threw everything away for a woman that loved him for a short while before she went back to another man. he could've easily found someone better"

"maybe he didn't want to" theo was talking to you directly now "maybe it was enough for him to love her from afar"

"then he could've stayed on his fucking side of the lake" you argued "instead he threw these gigantic parties, just hoping for one single person to show up. is that what it is to you? having an unhealthy obsession with something that could lead to your death and calling it love?"

theo's chair scrapped over the floor when he stood up. you could see the anger in his eyes and stood up from your chair as well.

"you don't know what you're talking about" theo was not far from screaming "he loved her because she wasn't easy. he loved because being with her meant not knowing what's to come, because being with her meant to never grow bored"

"that's what you took from this story?" you laughed in disbelief "did we read the same book?" you caught blaise and draco hecticly turning pages as if they were asking themselves the same thing. enzo and april exchanged glances and the smirk on mattheo's face died.

"because i read a book in which a foolish man spends his entire time obsessing over a woman who doesn't love him, atleast not as much as he loves her and later he dies, because he wants to save her and she doesn't even bat an eye, before she goes back to her husband"

"she had no other choice" theo screamed.

"she had plenty of choices, theo" you screamed back.

"stop! the both of you!" mrs walker screamed.

all eyes turned to her. theo and you sank down in your seats defeated.

"both of you, detention" mrs walker said, right before the bell rang out.

you sighed as you packed up your things and grabbed the detention slip from her, before you left the room.

✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦

detention was not the kind of activity you would normally choose to do during your day, but here you were, holding a cleaning cloth and a bucket, while theo was holding the broom. you were standing in one of the classrooms, that hadn’t been used for these past few years.

"alright" mr platt clapped his hands. he was a bit too excited about your detention, particulary because he had a one sided feud with theo, who was always a bit too sassy in the janitors eyes. "you're gonna clean this entire room. you have two hours-" he was interrupted by his ringing phone, which he picked up as he walked away from the both of you.

"this is all your fault" you whispered.

theo huffed. “that’s rich”

“is it?” you wondered “because it’s always you that has to ruin everything”

“calm down, pixie” theo shook his head “i thought you were smarter than this”

“i have to admit i thought you were too, but then you proved me wrong in english and here we are”

“shut the fuck-“

mr platt turned back around and both you and theo put on an innocent smile.

“i have to get a few things for the school banket next week. do you think you’ll be fine on your own?” he looked more in your direction than in theo’s.

“of course, don’t worry, mr platt” you smiled and the janitor nodded relieved.

“alright, i will be back in two hours” he walked out of the room and theo turned his head to you.

“don’t worry, mr platt” he mocked in a high pitched voice. you rolled your eyes, before you slapped him with your cloth.

“come on, just start sweeping already”

to your annoyance and ultimately not to your surprise, theo sat down on one of the tables. “i’m not cleaning anything”

“mr platt just said—“

“i don’t know if you’ve noticed, pixie” he smiled “but i don’t really listen to the things mr pratt says”

you were ready to start fighting, until you remembered how you had gotten into this situation in the first place. this was your first detention and you would make sure that it would also stay the last.

you mindlessly started cleaning the tables around the room. when you were done with that, you filled the bucket with fresh water and cleaned the cloth in the sink until it was spotless again. then you walked across the room to take the broom.

"what are you doing?" theo pulled the broom away from you, when you tried to grab it.

"i'm doing what you should've done" you crossed your arms "i'm not gonna get in more trouble, because of you"

"i'm not giving it to you" theo said and you raised your brows.

"why do you even care? you're not gonna do it? okay, fine" you shrugged "but someone has to"

"it's not your fucking problem, pixie" theo pulled the broom further back "you did your task"

"why are you always so stubborn?" you tried to reach around him, but he pushed you back with his other hand "just give it to me"

"no" the bratty smile on his face made your blood boil.

in a few seconds of uncontrollable anger, you took the bucket, ready to drench him in the cold water you had just filled it up with. "give me the broom" you said once again, as if to give him a last chance.

"you wouldn't dare"

"oh i would" you nodded.

theo stayed unmoving and you raised the bucket from the ground, so that it was now hanging in the air between you. but theo was faster than you. he let go of the broom (which fell to the ground with a thud) before he ripped the bucket out of your hands, making water slip over the edge and directly onto your shirt.

"you fucking idiot!" you screamed, and turned away from the boy, once theo had put the bucket down on the table behind him.

"i actually did not mean to do that" he laughed "but it's pretty fucking funny"

"shut up" you started patting your chest with the cloth in an attempt to dry the water stain on your shirt. you did only make it worse.

you could hear theo giggle behind your back and swerved around, before you threw the cloth in his face. he was not as happy anymore when he took the cloth off his face and let it fall to the ground.

"what did you just do?"

you shrugged your shoulders "not like you didn't deserve that"

he stepped slowly closer "repeat that. i dare you"

you stepped back and he followed. your back hit the wall and he came closer.

"you deserved that" you muttered as you looked up at him. you could feel his hot breath on your cheek and thought about just pushing him back and slipping away, but you honestly doubted that you were stronger than him.

"you're very brave sweetheart" he smiled sarcastically.

you laughed humorless. "i fucking hate you"

theo smiled and the eye contact intensified.

"looks like you're having the hots for me now"

"fuck you, theo"

your breath hitched when he quickly pushed his lips against yours. it took you a second, but then you pulled him closer by his shirt, deepening the kiss.

theo's lips brushed against yours and you melted into his kiss, surrendering to the passion that consumed you both.

the kiss was like a storm, fierce and consuming, yet filled with a tenderness that left you breathless.

you had only kissed him once before, back when you were children. back when kissing was something disgusting and didn't make you feel the things you were feeling right now.

you whimpered when he pulled your head to the side with his hand and started kissing your neck.

"i loathe you" he muttered between kisses "but you look so fucking hot in that wet shirt"

you smiled triumphantly and saw your opportunity to push him backwards, away from the wall and to the teachers table. you connected your lips again, as you turned around and climbed on to the table. he stepped between your opened legs and rested his hands on your thighs as he moaned.

you gripped the hem of his shirt, he stepped back and helped you to pull it off, before you repeated the same process with your shirt. your hands pressed to his chest, while he kissed you and unhooked your bra.

you weren't proud of the things that happened next. and especially not of where it had happened.

when it was over, theo looked almost as regretful as you did.

"this was a mistake" you muttered, as he pulled down your shirt and gently fixed your hair. you weren't used to this side of him, not anymore. but even if you said the exact opposite, your were yearning for him.

"yeah" he nodded and then he frowned "i'm sorry, i shouldn't have-"

"-no, it's alright" you shook your head. this was worse than before, it was uncomfortable and awkward. you would've preferred him yelling at you, but the room grew silent as neither o you said a word.

"we can never do this again" he whispered, but it sounded more like he was telling it to himself.

"i know"

"and we can't tell anyone about this"

"i know"

"we're not good for each other" he said finally.

you wanted to say something, anything. it was like everything between you had just died with a simple touch. you almost missed the tension, because now there was just nothing. you tried to reach for his arm, but before you could do or say anything else, the door opened and theo stepped back from you.

"looks alright" mr platt nodded, once he had given the room a look. "you can go" he held the door open so you could walk through.

"bye" you said and mr platt nodded. "theo" you called, but the boy only quickened his step and left you standing alone in the entryhall of the school.

you sighed, before you decided that theo was right, you should just forget about everything that had happened. your relationship with him had not been anything else than hate lately and you had to admit he was right, it would never work, you weren't good for each other.

✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦

the shift in atmosphere did not go unnoticed by april or the rest of the boys. atleast not until the next saturday when she was spending the day with enzo and matt, chilling in their parent's basement before they head to the rehearsal later.

"have you noticed that theo and y/n have been acting weird lately?" april asked "i mean y/n's been totally denying it, but it's weird right?"

"for sure" mattheo nodded with big eyes "i'm glad you said something, i was dying to ask you"

"isn't that kind of normal?" enzo wondered "i mean for them to be weird?"

"you're not getting it the way we are!" mattheo criticized.

"okay, sorry" enzo raised his hands laughing until mattheo and april send him a look.

"i honestly always thought they would end up together" april admitted "and of course i hated the way their friendship evolved to constantly fighting with each other, but at least that was something. now they aren't even talking to each other"

"right?" mattheo pointed at the red-head "i always thought they were in love with each other, but then she dated that scumbag and leo, well" he left the sentence unfinished and the mood shifted.

"i thought the same" april patted mattheos shoulder. “i think what they have yet to realize is that everything that is between them is not hate, it’s sadness”

mattheo nodded and april could see that he was getting sad too. they both felt helpless, like they couldn’t do what they were supposed to do as best friends to theo and you.

all while enzo found it a bit weird how serious mattheo and april were talking about your relationship with theo. it didn't even concern them, yet they were so... concerned.

"it's not really our problem is it?" enzo tried gently.

the looks he received made him shut up immediately.

"they belong together, enz" his brother exclaimed with a roll of his eyes "they just don't know it yet"

"yeah" april nodded "that's what they have us for" she pointed between her and mattheo.

"but you still like me more than him, right?" enzo joked.

april and mattheo started laughing and enzo joined in hesitantly. "not right now, though"

enzo's laughter died down as he send his soon-to-be-girlfriend a betrayed look.

✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦

when the three arrived at the rehearsal, theo and you were already there, setting up the instrument and sorting notes.

"woah" blaise said when he and draco entered the garage after mattheo, april and enzo. "it's cold in here"

you send him an aggravated look, before you just rolled your eyes and continued to turn the pages of your notes.

"did something happen?" draco whispered in the direction of april.

the girl shook her head, before mattheo took it upon himself to inform draco about the newest form of relationship between theo and you.

"haven't you noticed?" he muttered not exactly quiet, but you acted like you couldn't hear him. "they've been acting like this all week"

"really?" blaise asked surprised, before he thought for a second "wait, no, now that you say it, it has been a really peaceful week." his eyes fell upon you "too peaceful"

"hey, y/n" draco called and you looked up "i think theo put down the wrong cable for you again"

"oh" you looked down to confirm that he was right "that not a problem, i'll just quickly change it" you walked around theo, without even acknowledging him and draco looked like he had lost his mind.

april elbowed enzo, who shrieked, but then quickly caught the hint. "theo, ehh" he thought for a second "did you talk to y/n about those notes she needs to play differently in cheap wine?"

theo shook his head, before he turned around to look at you. "you have to play two c-chords and then the a-chord"

"got it" you nodded.

enzo and april exchanged a look. enzo looked to his older brother helplessly, who looked as lost as he rest of his friends. he had no idea what else to say, before it quickly dawned on him. he had to force a reaction out of theo and what better way to do that than compliment you? an insult from theo wouldn't be far.

"you look really good today" mattheo said "i like the way you styles your hair"

"thank you" you smiled.

"theo?" blaise asked as the boy didn't react.

"huh?" theo looked up from the cables he had been sorting "eh, yeah i agree"

both you and theo returned to your respective work while the rest of your friends exchanged looks without you noticing.

"theo, i said y/n looks good today"

"i'm aware" theo nodded "i can hear you, you know?"

"we would love to hear your input" mattheo further encouraged.

"you're acting fucking weird today" and to all their shock, you and theo were now exchanging glances as if they were the ones behaving weirdly.

blaise huffed and mattheo and april crossed their arms silmutaneously.

draco seemed to have had enough of the way you were acting. "stop fucking acting this way! can't you just make up or something? or at least get back to hating each other?" he was close to tears.

blaise rubbed draco's shoulder. "see, what you're doing to him. his parents are divorced"

"okay?" you asked confused "i don't see what that has to do with us, though"

"what's going on?" april asked gently "did something happen? you had this until someone cries mentally, well, did someone cry?"

"no" you shook your head "theo and i are just mature enough, that we decided to stop fighting"

"bullshit" draco screamed from blaise's arms. "you're always fighting, even before you hated each other."

you looked in the direction of theo and thought about what he had said to you in that classroom. he had been right, you weren't good to each other, even before you had been at each other's throats constantly. all of it had been so obvious that even your friends had noticed it.

"would you rather have us fighting again?" theo asked with raised brows "we were going nowhere with this"

"you're not even talking to each other" mattheo muttered.

"we are" you shook your head as if you couldn't believe what he was saying "we just did it like a minute ago"

"can we please start rehearsing now?" theo asked and all of you could feel the annoyance radiating off his body. the boys nodded, giving in without further discussion.

you could still feel april's eyes lingering on you. she didn't believe a word you had said.

even if you tried to ignore it, what your friends had said stuck with you. you knew that theo was thinking about it too.

after the rehearsal you stayed longer.

"we have to stop acting his way" you said as soon as the two of you were alone. "they will find out if we don't"

"i know" theo sighed and it was the biggest reaction you had gotten from him all week. it kind of pained you to admit that you missed your fighting, but something in you clearly did.

"can't you just fight with me? just do something so we go back to normal"

"i can't" theo admitted "i can’t still scream at you, after-"

"after we had sex" you interrupted. he had been dancing around what happened all week, you were tired of not calling it what it was.

"it should've never happened"

"i know!" you said loudly "and i agree, but this is not the solution we need. we can't go back in time, theo, we can do nothing to change it."

"yeah, but i can do as much as possible to make sure it won't ever happen again"

"why are you so bothered by all of this?" you asked frustrated "it was just sex, it was a one time thing, what makes it different? it's just like any other one night stand"

"no it's not"

"then tell me what it is!" you were screaming now "because i'm tired of playing a game i don't want to be a part of! you confuse me"

"can i kiss you?" theo asked and you had almost screamed from shock.

"what?" you asked instead. "theo!"

"i'm- sorry, i just-"

"okay, kiss me" he did not wait for you to tell him twice, before he had already walked closer and pressed his lips against yours.

you really had to stop doing this. well, after this time.

✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦

you continued to come to the rehearsal three times a week over the following weeks. the more time you spent in the old loft, the more it felt like everything was slowly going back to normal.

your friends couldn't explain what had happened, but theo and you had started interacting normally again, having your occasional fight, but being friendlier than ever.

even if they found it weird, they accepted it. they were just happy you were talking to each other again.

april had tried to find out what had been going and between you and the boy, but you had stayed strong, not revealing your secret to her, even if she was your best friend.

you were joking with the boys, the forced friendly gestures you used to exchange were long gone and it was no longer uncomfortable to just sit around when you were taking a break.

mattheo told stories of enzo and their vacation in spain, how they had gone snorkeling and how enzo had lost his trunks in the water, making all of you break out into loud laughter.

each of you shared memories of a time where you had not spoken to the others, as if you had to catch up. and it felt good.

even theo had to admit it did. it had been easier than he thought to be civil. he had been sure he was having a stroke, but as soon as he started to act nice, you did too and after everything that had happened between you both these past few days he was honestly just glad.

it was another saturday when you were once again rehearsing. you had gone through the entire setlist (except for daddy issues, theo had said that it was way too slow to play) and now only had to play eight pack of cigarettes, which was one of your favorite tracks to play, especially because it had a guitar solo in it.

you had spent much time learning the solo and enzo had been of great help, teaching you like a proud parent, even if he was younger than you.

the song began slow, theo started singing as the guitar played slow, while the other instruments stayed silent.

in the glow of street lights, underneath the city's haze, you found me in the darkest nights, lost in a nicotine haze.

the drums set in just a second after, making the heavy rock of the song shine through clearly. shortly after that followed mattheo, strumming the bass. draco only joined at the chorus.

eight packs of cigarettes, burned through these lonely nights, trying to drown out regrets, but you're still in my head.

the solo came just after the brige and both enzo and april watches excitedly how you plaed it so effortlessly. theo watched you and he couldn't help the proud smile settling on his face.

in the haze of smoke and dreams, i'll keep searching for some reprieve, but until then, I'll keep the smoke, eight packs of cigarettes full of hope.

the song ended with the last note of draco's keyboard. you admired how they could go from a full on rock song, to a slow and almost sad outro.

you helped theo to unplug the instruments. draco and blaise said their goodbyes pretty soon, walking out of the garage mumbling something about a new videogame, mattheo was close behind them.

enzo and april exchanged a look, before he threw his not broken arm around her shoulder.

"we're going to the cinema" enzo exclaimed when he noticed your questioning gaze.

"okay" you smiled as you send april a look. 'call me later' you mouthed, before you watched them walk out to april's car.

"y/n" theo said to gain your attention "thank you for helping us, really, i appreciate it"

"it's not a problem" you smiled "just, why did you ask me? i know that you can play, you didn't need me"

"you're way better" he smiled "my heart also belongs to the acoustic guitar and it's way more fun to move freely on stage"

you rolled your eyes laughing at his dumb reasons, but nodded understandingly anyway. "can i also ask you something?"

theo raised his brows "sure"

"did you write daddy issues to hurt me?"

"i understand why you might think i did" theo muttered "but back then, no" he admitted "i wrote it for you to listen to whenever you felt like that. i thought about not putting it on the album after everything that happened, but i wrote it for both of you and leo had made me promise"

"typical" you laughed "he demands something and once he leaves everything goes to shit"

"i'm sorry i made you play it" theo muttered.

"it's alright" you took the acoustic guitar from the couch and held it in his direction. "can you do something else for me? could you play it for me? the way you intended it to be played?"

he nodded and took the guitar from your hand before he sat down across from you. he softly stroked the chords and the words that were coming out of his mouth didn't feel like they were supposed to hurt you, they felt gentle, like a hug.

gentle, like the days you had spent up in the treehouse, crying in his lap as he stroked your hair the same way he was now stroking the chords.

go ahead and cry, little girl nobody does it like you do i know how much it matters to you i know that you got daddy issues and if you were my little girl i'd do whatever I could do i'd run away and hide with you i know that you got daddy issues

he played softly, almost cautious, as if he wanted to fix you with his singing alone. he ended the song and you couldn't help but smile at him, even if tears were running over yours cheeks. he put the guitar down and sat next to you on the couch.

"why did you ask me to do that?"

"because i don't want to think of the song as something bad…not anymore" you explained as you wiped your tears away. "not when leo didn't intend it to be"

"he loved it" theo said softly "made him cry like a baby"

"because you're so good at writing" you laughed.

"no" theo shook his head "he cried because of you, because i think for the first time he could really understand how you felt"

"thank you" you said.

"nothing to thank me for" theo smiled softly.

"do you want to hear a secret?" you asked. you knew not everything between you was normal again, but you trusted him enough and right now, there in the garage, was a time where safety was all around you.

"sure" theo nodded and watched you expectingly. you turned your head to look at him.

"i haven't spoken to my dad in a year" you admitted.

"oh" theo breathed surprised. "why not?"

"i don't really know" you shrugged, it wasn't the whole truth, but you were not at the point of telling whole truths yet "but i think it's alright, i don't think there's anything we could still say to each other"

"i'm sorry"

you shrugged "it is what it is, right?" you tried to smile, but theo shook his head.

"it shouldn't be like this"

"it's not like i can miss anything" you shrugged and theo frowned.

"it's just unfair. i'm sorry, y/n"

"where did pixie go?"

"i thought you hated when i called you that"

"i did" you smiled lopsided "but now i kinda miss her"

"do you ever know what you want?" theo laughed and you shrugged, while you shook your head. he looked at his phone, to check the time. "are you free tonight?"

"sure, why?"

"a friend of mine is throwing a party and his band is playing, i promised to come, do you maybe want to accompany me?"

you shrugged "it's not like i have anything better to do, so why not?"

"i feel honored that you spend time with me nonetheless, pixie" theo smiled and you mirrored his expression. for the first time in a while his nickname for you did not sound malicious.

taglist:

@7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555 @sakanelli-afc @cobrakaisb @ellen3101

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞: 𝐢 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐯𝐲, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢'𝐦 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐲

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: theo and you seem to be a pretty good match, until things go out of control

warnings: underage drinking, cursing, trauma (bad relationship with parents), sexual references, depression, fighting, mention of death

note: this is absolutely the most gut wrenching chapter so far! get ready lmao!! and for the people still wondering who leo is: you will find out in this chapter!!

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theo walked you both through a forest, taking weird paths that he claimed to be shortcuts. you giggled anytime he almost fell over a branch and he laughed deeply and almost lovingly as you stumbled against him a few times, because it was already dark.

at the party he walked you around, introducing you to foreign people and it made you heart flutter, that he did not introduce you with your name alone.

"curtis" he said when a blonde and tall boy entered his field of vision "this is my friend, y/n"

"hi, theo's friend y/n" curtis greeted and you smiled up at his tall figure.

"is your band playing tonight?" you asked and curtis nodded proudly.

"i'm the keyboarder" he explained "you will love it, i promise"

you normally hated boys with too big of an ego (maybe because of theo), but curtis was actually lovely and seemed like he meant it in a nice way. he reminded you of enzo and you instantely liked him.

"get your lady something to drink, theo" curtis patted the dark haired boys shoulder before he turned back to you "zero manners, huh?"

you giggled and curtis promised to come back and talk to you after the gig. theo walked you to a small table filled to the brim with different kinds of alcohol.

"what do you want?" he asked and you raised your brows as your eyes glided along the table.

you would rather not drink any alcohol, but there was nothing without it. also, you didn't want to explain why, so you just pointed to the bottle of sparkling wine and watched how theo filled a glass for you.

he took a bottle of beer for himself and walked you back into the crowd so you could listen to curtis and his band.

you had to admit that they were really good, but (and you did not say that to theo or curtis when he came to talk to you later) nothing in comparison to cursed legacy.

you sipped your sparkling wine as theo walked you around the party and talked so some of his friends. there were a few you found pretty funny, boys that reminded you of blaise and draco, as they were dancing weirdly across the dance floor.

and curtis' girlfriend was like a carbon copy of april. she joined you as you watched the boys and couldn't hold your laughter at their ridiculous dancing.

"friends like that keep your soul young" lily had said as she sat down next to you. "i'm lily" she added as she noticed your surprised expression "curtis’ girlfriend"

"y/n" you smiled "theo told half the people here to call me pixie, but don't listen to him, he's an idiot. and i know, i have the exact same friends on the other side of the town"

"so a few meters from here?" lily joked and you joined in on her laughter.

"something like that"

"are you theo's girlfriend?" she followed your eyes that were watching him as he was talking to curtis and another boy you hadn't been introducted to yet.

"no" you shook your head. theo turned his head and smiled at you, before he waved for you to come and join the conversation.

"they way he looks at you tells a different story" said lily as she followed you through the crowd.

you shook your head laughing. lily stepped next to curtis, who threw an arm around her body and you stepped next to theo, who, to your surprise, did the same.

later, theo and you started walking back home. you had said goodbye to the people you had met tonight, while theo had to promise both curtis and lily that he would bring you around more often. lily was so drunk that she almost cried as you told her that you were leaving, which made you like her even more.

you loved people that didn't get aggressive or angry when they got drunk, but rather emotional or funny.

"are you sure this is the right way?" you mumbled as you followed theo through the forest, your hand in his as he took paths that looked like they were not supposed to be walked on.

"trust me, baby" theo laughed and the nickname made your heart flutter. you were glad that he couldn't see your face.

to your surprise you came out of the forest right in front of your houses. the moon was shining down on the street, making it easier to see his beautiful face.

"so much music tonight and we didn't even dance"

"you're right" you smiled "what do we do now?"

"i have something on here" theo said as he took out his phone. "it's a song that was supposed to be on the album, but i scrapped last minute"

"oh" you said surprised "what is it about?"

"you"

you laughed unsurely "so pixie dream girl or daddy issues part two?"

"no" theo said quickly as he shook his head "it's not like that, it's not mean"

"why did you scrap it?"

"because leo was helping me to decide which songs were good enough for an album and i didn't want him to see this one"

you smiled up at him, before you finally nodded. "play it"

he set down the phone and pressed play, before he took your hand in his, one hand on your hip. the song was soft and gentle and you could hear the guitar and dracos keyboard.

"how did you record the guitar if leo didn't know about it?" you wondered.

"i played it myself" theo shrugged and you smiled as you heard his voice. "i wrote the song when you started hanging out with cormac and we stopped spending as much time"

i know a place it's somewhere i go when i need to remember your face we get married in our heads something to do while we try to recall how we met

he twirled you around on the street, moving you away and then back close to his chest again.

the bridge was definitely your favorite part of the song, as you softly hummed along.

there was something 'bout you that now i can't remember it's the same damn thing that made my heart surrender and i miss you on a train, i miss you in the morning i never know what to think about

you didn't want him to know, but you cried a bit. the song was so incredibly beautiful that it made your head hurt. right before the song was over, theo started singing along, supporting the theo from months ago.

about you about you do you think i have forgotten about you? (don't let go)

he hugged you close to his body while you both swayed to the last few tunes of the song.

"that's how you felt? all while i was still there?" you asked him once he had pushed the phone into the back pocket of his trousers.

"it felt like you were worlds away" theo muttered "you were so obsessed with cormac that all i could do was write a song about how you were slipping away"

"i was sixteen and in love" you argued.

"i know" theo smiled "i was too"

you looked up at him in surprise and a bit of hope in your eyes. "and what about now?" you asked

"now i'm seventeen" he shrugged.

"and in love?" you asked carefully.

"deeply" his hands wandered to hold your hip, as you stepped closer to his body. your hands went to his neck. he drew you closer and slowly connected your lips. his lips were soft and warm and they felt like home in a place that hadn't felt like a home in a long time.

he brushed some of your hair out of your face as he deepened the kiss, softly pushing his tongue through your lips. you smiled at that.

as you broke the kiss, he softly leaned his forehead against yours.

"do you want to come inside?" you asked as you pointed to your house.

theo smiled as he nodded. you took your key out of your bag and opened the door. to your surprise, you could hear someone move through the house.

it was well past midnight, so you shrieked in surprise when your mum turned on the light. she screamed at the same time as you did.

you wondered what she was doing up here. normally she wouldn't come out of bed or up here in general. she would spend most days in bed, curled up under leo's bedsheets.

"y/n!" she screamed and you noticed the tears on her cheeks.

"mum" you muttered as you looked back at theo, who was still standing in the entryway, unsure what to do.

"where have you been?" she screamed. "you're soaked!" theo's and your eyes went down your body simultaneously. you were completely dry.

"i'm not, mum" you shook your head "maybe you should go back to bed" you tried to grab her arm but she moved away from your hold.

"i told you not to go out in the rain"

"mum, i didn't, really"

"where have you been all night?" she screamed and winced. "i have been sick with worry! you've been gone for hours, y/n!"

"mum, i-"

"i don't want to hear another word!" she grabbed your hand and pulled you closer. "leo, sweetheart is that you?" she only seemed to notice theo, now that you were not standing in front of him anymore.

you and him exchanged a look. "no, mum" you softly said "that is theo" you turned your head back at him "maybe you should better go"

he nodded at your suggestion.

"leo, sweetheart" your mum called as she saw him moving. theo froze. "where are you going?" you held her in place as she tried to move closer to him.

"go, home, theo" you said "i'll call you"

"where's leo?" the calm in her voice was suddenly gone and she was screaming again. theo turned around alarmed.

"go, i'll call you" you repeated. "you shouldn't have called him" your mother screamed "why did you call him?" she sank down on the ground sobbing and screaming as she held her arms close to her chest. you sat down beside her.

you looked up and saw the sad look on theo's face. "please, go, theo"

he left and closed the front door behind him.

your mother calmed down quickly and you were able to bring her back down to bed. she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow and you watched her for a few minutes as you wiped your cheeks to get rid of your tears.

you shared the color of her eyes and hair, the way she used to walk down the street and the sound of laughter, that you hadn't heard since that night a year ago.

you kissed her head softly, before you got up and left the room. "goodnight, mum" you mumbled before you closed the door.

then you walked up to your room. the curtain of your window was open and you saw theo sitting at his window on the other side. you saw him scribble something down on his blog, before he pressed it against the window.

is she always like this?

you shrugged, before you took your own blog and wrote an answer.

not always, but sometimes she freaks out and thinks it's that night again

what is she doing normally? it's the first time i saw her in a year

you weren't sure what to answer. you didn't want to lie to him, but the truth embarassed you.

she stays here

she doesn't leave the house?

no

you could see the same look of pity in theo's eyes as you always saw in april's. she was the only one who really knew how bad your mother had gotten.

i'm sorry you had to see that, you wrote

theo shook his head, he held his hand against the window, as if to touch yours, i'm here

you held your hand against the glass too, as you smiled at his gesture. i know

you sat there for longer than you should have, only going to bed as soon as you couldn't keep your eyes open and were almost falling asleep on the desk.

✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦

sunday was warm and thick and theo came to pick you up. all of you, the rest of the guys and april, went to the lake behind the garage to go swimming.

the sun was relentless but you were so happy that you did not mind.

april and enzo had arrived hand in hand, kissing each other all over their faces, before they announced that they were finally dating. you were more than just happy for them and exchanged conspiritorial looks with theo as they mentioned how they had spend their night.

none of your friends knew about your and theo's adventure from the night before, or the times you had spent in each others embrace. you were glad that they had stopped asking questions about the way you acted after the last time.

you hadn't been sure if you would have been able to lie, but your friends kept their mouths shut, silently smiling and fully accepting the new normal.

theo had send you the demo of about you and you had spent any free minute listening to it. this was your song, the song that was truly about you and you couldn't love it more.

and for now, everything that had happened between you just belonged to the two of you.

theo walked into the garage to get a few more beers as he ran into mattheo, who came back from the toilet.

"hey, mate" he patted theo's shoulder, as the latter bend down to open the fridge.

mattheo's eyes wandered to the window that overlooked the lake. blaise and draco were standing on top of the tree that was hanging over the water, while they tried not to fall down. april and you were loudly laughing as you tried to throw each other into the water. enzo came up behind the two of you and helped to throw april inside, before he pushed you in after her. mattheo watched as your head came back up and you began laughing.

"you have to tell her" mattheo mumbled "the concert is in a few days"

"i know" theo muttered, before he took a big sip from his beer. "but she's so happy" his heart fluttered as he watched you run across the grass as draco and blaise were chasing you.

"all the more reason to tell her" mattheo nodded "maybe she doesn't mind"

"i don't know" theo shrugged "i still lied to her"

"not if you just tell her" theo nodded at his friend before he left the room. mattheo bend down to get a beer for himself, as his eyes returned back to the glass. you were in the lake again and you face lit up as your eyes fell on theo.

you held your hand in his direction, before you dragged him in to the water. mattheo could hear you giggle, followed by theo's warm laughter as he held you close to his body and dipped you down in the lake. "so, that's how it is?" mattheo mumbled smiling as he watched the two of you.

✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦

monday came fast and so did the bad weather. it had been raining since the morning and you couldn't be more glad that april and theo both had their own cars so no one had to walk.

"good morning, baby" theo greeted as soon as you sat down in his car. he turned in your direction expectingly, moving his lips. you giggled before you kissed him and he leaned back with a satisfied grin.

on your way to school you picked up draco and blaise who were talking about a switch in the atmosphere. you and theo listened to their blabbering as you exchanged looks with each other.

"this was disgusting" mattheo said as he climbed from the backseat of april's car. she had driven him and enzo to school with her. "two people in love and i have nowhere to escape"

"yeah" draco nodded "i kind of feel the same" blaise and him exchanged confused gazes, not quite realizing what they were talking about just yet.

"should we head to english?" you asked before one of them was able to further think about it.

"sure" april took your arm as she dragged enzo behind her. theo stayed close to you, but did not hold your hand.

mrs walker was on time today and she even smiled as she noticed the friendly conversation you and theo were having. "war is over, huh?" she smiled and you softly nodded.

it was the first time in months that you did not mind theo sitting so close to you. you needed his warmth, as if his and your body were magnets of opposite sides, always pulling each other close.

during class, theo was drawing hearts on your hand with his finger and you wondered when you had forgotten how soft love was.

love was back, because theo was and you had missed him terribly, even before there was that wall of fault between the two of you. you had thought that there was no way to fix what had been broken, but maybe you had been wrong.

theo had felt the same, as he had told you. and he understood you, understood the way you could not have a relationship with your father, the way you felt sad anytime your eyes fell on your mother and why you had taken down every photo of your brother and put them in a box under the bed.

"i take them out when i want to remember" you had told him "when i'm ready to feel him"

"do you think you will be able to hang them up again?" theo had asked.

"i don't know" it broke a piece of your heart that you weren't able to really tell "maybe there will just always be something broken inside of me"

"and your parents?" he had pushed a strand of hair behind your ear "are they broken too?"

"more than me" you had said "that's why i can only be broken at certain times"

theo squeezed your hand before he had to take it away to write something down. you smiled at him, before you started writing too.

suddenly your phone buzzed in the back pocket out your trousers. there were only fifteen minutes of class left, but maybe it was important, so you took it out without mrs walker noticing and opened the message that had been send from an unknown number.

hey, peanut it read and you heart stopped beating. it's dad. how are you? dave called me to tell me about the record deal for leo's band, i heard they're making great music. theo messaged me too, is he your boyfriend? he told me that you needed to talk. call me!! xoxo dad

you stared down at the message and your whole body froze. dave fraser was the guy that was eventually giving the guys the record deal? you knew it had to have been leo who contacted him. and theo had messaged your dad? a thousand questions were running through your mind, but before you got a chance to answer them, another message came in.

i'm sure everything will work out with the deal. dave is obsessed with the guys and pixie dream girl! he told me i should come and listen to them play on saturday. will you be there too? didn't theo used to call you pixie? kinda funny!

yeah, you thought, funny.

"y/n?" mrs walker called "do you know the answer to number five?"

"what?" you muttered as you looked up from the phone in your hand.

"i asked if you knew the answer to number five" mrs walker repeated, but her eyes grew wider as she noticed the tears in your eyes "are you alright?"

you shook your head before you grabbed your bag and pushed your blog inside. "can i please leave?"

"ehh" mrs walker seemed to be caught off-guard before she finally nodded. you grabbed your things and ran out of the room under the confused eyes of your friends.

"excuse me" you could hear a voice call and quickly, steps were following after you. it was theo and you just quickened your pace.

"y/n!" he called. "are you alright?" there were another few pairs of feet running over the floor.

"you can't just all leave class" you could hear mrs walker say.

"it's important" april said.

"we will write an extra essay" enzo promised and you could hear both mattheo and draco groan.

"are you nuts?" blaise said loudly, before he was scolded by mrs walker.

you walked down the steps, theo behind you and behind him april, enzo, mattheo, draco and blaise.

"where are you going?" theo asked, but you ignored him. he followed you outside into the rain, where he finally caught up with you, holding your arm so you had to freeze in your step.

the rest of your friends waited under the little roof before the doors.

"what has gotten into you?" he asked.

"what has gotten into me?" you repeated laughing "what the fuck is wrong with you, huh?"

"what are you talking about?" you both were already soaked.

"you're playing pixie dream girl on saturday?" you asked.

before he could stop himself, theo had already answered "how do you know?"

mattheo hid his face in his hands and enzo groaned audibly.

"so it's true then?" you asked "and i bet all of you knew" you looked behind theo and into the guilt-ridden faces of your friends.

"we wanted to tell you-i mean i wanted to, really"

"yeah, you did? were you waiting for the right moment? taking bets when would be the funniest time?"

"no, you don't understand"

"oh, i think i do" you shook your head as you cried "you're still punishing me for everything that happened a year ago"

"what? no, i'm not" theo almost pleaded for you to believe him.

"did he tell you everything?" you turned to the other boys "how's your next song about me called, huh? y/n's psycho mother?"

"y/n, we don't know what you're talking about" mattheo said.

"oh you don't? well, let me clear things up as long i have the chance to do so myself" you clenched your hands together, you were already shaking from the harsh cold of the rain "what did you miss? my mother has gone completely off the rails since my brother died, my dad and i haven't spoken in a year and i think i have a lot of issues too"

you could hear april cry and the rest of the boys also looked like they were absolutely distraught.

"theo was a great friend" you said bitterly "while i went to him crying, he wrote a song that he knew would hurt me and he still put it on the album. and after i told him i how i felt about it, he claimed it was supposed to help me, while he aired out my dirty laundry to everyone in this fucking town"

"daddy issues" draco muttered under his breath.

"damn right" you pointed in his direction.

"daddy issues is about y/n?" enzo asked and he looked as betrayed as you felt.

"y-yeah" theo muttered "but i did not mean to hurt her"

"that's funny, theo" you laughed sarcastically "did you also not mean to hurt me when you messaged my father?"

"you did what?" april asked angrily and was ready to step next to you, but enzo held her back before she could walk in the rain.

"i know you don't want to talk to him, but i thought-"

"thought you knew my life better than i do?" you asked angrily "the night of leo's death, my dad spent hours screaming at me. my brother had just died and he stood in front of me while he told me how everything was my fault. he was the one telling me that he didn't want to see me again" you raised your arms "but who am i to complain about that, right? at least he's paying his child support, more than he has to actually, or mum and i would live on the street now. because she doesn't leave leo's fucking bed" you screamed in the direction of your friends "she never gets up" you added.

april sobbed and you noticed that all of the others had tears in their eyes as well.

"she's a mess" you muttered "but even she thinks it's my fault. you remember theo? that night in my house, when she thought you were leo? do you know how it feels to come home and she turns on the light and there's a flicker of hope in her eyes, because just for a short second she thinks i'm her dead son? and when she notices that it's me, just me, she just goes back to bed"

"we didn't know" blaise said softly.

"because i didn't want anyone to know" you said "but theo is running around telling people whatever he feels like and all of this will probably be featured on your second album anyway, so fuck it, right?"

"i'm so sorry" theo cried and you couldn't tell what was rain and what were tears on his face.

"sorry isn't cutting it this time, theo" your voice was a lot calmer now "you asked if i will be able to hang leo's pictures up again and the most honest answer i can give you is that i don't know if i could bare to look at his face while knowing that i killed him"

"you didn't kill him" theo argued.

"it doesn't matter to me how you see all of this, theo" you shook your head "just leave me alone, okay? but this time for real. i don't want to see you and i don't want to speak to you" you paused, before you added "because the real reason why we aren't friends anymore is that after everything that happened, you didn't even have the decency to come to leo's funeral. he was your friend, your best friend"

you send one last look in the direction of your friends, before you started to walk away.

theo called your name and you turned your head, but mattheo held him in place. you nodded at him, thankfully. april looked between enzo and theo, before she shook her head and ran after you.

she put her arm around you and let you cry into her shoulder as you both walked through the rain. away from your friends and away from theo, who you swore in that moment, had broken your heart for the last time.

taglist:

@7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555 @sakanelli-afc @cobrakaisb @ellen3101

theo and pixie tonight!! get ready for a super emotional chapterrrr 😝

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐱: 𝐢'𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: theo tries to make everything right, but it might seem to be too late. all while your brother makes an unexpected appearance and interfers with your love life

warnings: mentions of a loved one dying, car accident, trauma, underage drinking, angst

notes: feels like an eternity since i posted the last chapter lmao

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one year ago

cormac had left the party an hour ago. he had just left you there, standing in the middle of the dance floor, as he bid off the passenger seat of his cabrio to a girl whose name you couldn't even remember now. all you knew was that she was sitting on the passenger seat that had been supposed to be yours.

you were drunk out your friend and had zero idea in which direction your house was. you took a look out of the window. it was raining and it would be a stupid idea to just blindly walk in one direction in the dark.

you thought about a way to get home, when a voice behind you made you perk up.

it was theo. he was taking to two guys you had never seen before. you smiled as your heart beat calmed down.

you knew theo, theo would help you.

"theo" you slurred and hiccuped.

theo did not look as happy to see you, as you were to see him.

"cormac" you hiccuped again "left me and i wanted to ask if you could drive me home?"

"i told you, he was bad news" theo rolled his eyes as the two other guys walked away.

"i know" you hiccuped "and you were right"

he nodded. his eyes already fixated on something or someone behind you.

"could you please drive me?" you asked "it won't take long, i promise"

"it would take half an hour" theo argued "we're not in town anymore. do you even know where you are?"

you shook your head and he sighed. you thought he would maybe say yes and rip you a new one on the drive home, but theo shook his head and your heart sank.

"call a taxi or something"

"please, theo" you pleaded "please, help me"

theo laughed sarcastically. "just yesterday you told me we couldn't be friends anymore, because i don't approve of your asshole of a boyfriend. so tell me, why should i do anything to help you?"

tears were running over your cheeks at this point and you could only watch as theo threw off your grip on his arm and walked away from you.

you got your jacket from the hanger at the door, before you walked out into the cold. the rain was dripping into your face, but you didn't mind. you started walking in any direction, as you took out your phone and dialed your older brother.

"leo?" you hiccuped as soon as your call was answered.

"y/n?" leo's voice was hoarse, he had probably been asleep.

"i'm sorry for calling you so late" you cried into the phone.

"is everything alright?" he was sounding a lot more awake now. "what happened?"

"cormac left me at this party and i don't know how to get home"

"i'll come and get you" he was moving around, probably getting dressed "can you find out where you are? can you send me your location?"

"yeah" you said and quickly did as he has asked. "i'll wait on the street"

"okay" he checked the location you had send "that's pretty far from mum's house, but it's not as far to dad's place, i will probably be there in ten minutes"

"okay" you said "thank you, leo"

"of course" he said, before the two of you ended the call.

you waited ten minutes, twenty, thirty, before your drunken mind decided that walk in the direction leo would probably come from. maybe he had gotten lost in the dark.

you weren't sure if it was intentional, but at some point you had just started to follow the sound of sirens that were coming from the street a few hundred meters away. the lights were making it hard to miss.

he was already dead when you arrived. the police was busy pushing back the people, but you had recognized your dad's car. and you could see his hand slipping out from under the black cloth. he was still wearing his bracelet and you were wearing the same.

your tears mixed with the rain that was still dripping from the sky. you screamed and two police officers came to check on you.

"are you alright, miss?" the man couldn't have been older than twenty-six.

"that's my brother" you cried.

he turned around to look in the direction of your eyes.

"that's my brother" you repeated. "please" you begged.

the officer helped you to stand up, before he took you by the arm and brought you into the middle of the street, where an older police officer was waiting. the younger one brought you a blanket when he noticed how much you were shivering.

"what's your name?" the older asked

"y/n" you stuttered, your eyes still fixated on leo.

"she's not older than sixteen" you could hear one of the medical assistants whisper.

"how old was he?" the other asked.

"eighteen? or nineteen?"

no you wanted to scream he's only seventeen

“where do you live?” the police officer asked.

“can’t i see him, please?” you cried. the police officer exchanged a look with one of the medical assistants, before he nodded.

you followed them to your brother, who was still laying on the street unmoving, but they wouldn’t raise the cloth. you just touched his hand and the bracelet on his arm. his hand was cold and your heart shattered even more.

“come on” the police officer said. “i’ll drive you home” you didn’t react when he softly took your arm and walked you to sit in his car. you just told him the address of your dad when he asked and watched the street as it moved past you.

he followed you to the door and you could see the smile on your dads face die down when his eyes fell on you. “where’s leo?”

“i’m sorry, sir-“ the police officer began and you blended him out. your eyes were focused on the jacket in the entryway. did leo leave it? did he drive without a jacket to get you? he must’ve been cold.

your fathers sobbing was what brought back. the police officer excused himself, before he pushed you inside the house.

“he wanted to pick me up” you said as you stared up at your father.

and then the screaming began. it only stopped when it was half past three in the night. your father send you a last look, before he told you to grab your things.

he didn’t want you to stay the night.

he stopped the car in front of your mothers house and told you to get outside.

“dad, please” you had begged, but he hadn’t even looked at you.

“i don’t want to talk to you” he had said before he drove off and left you standing in the middle of the street.

you opened the door with your key and as you walked inside, someone turned on the light.

“y/n!” your mother screamed “where have you been? you’re soaked!”

you had sat on your bed and started at the wall for what felt like days. april came to look after you, but both of you didn’t speak. the boys came, but you told april that you didn’t want to see them, so they left.

the only person you wanted to see was theo, but he didn’t come.

the funeral was beautiful, from what you could notice through tear filled eyes and april stayed close to you the entire time, clutching your hand like her life depended on it. hers didn’t, but yours maybe did.

the boys had come, all but theo and after the funeral you all had went to the lake, because it had been leo’s favorite place in the world. it had been his idea to throw together some money and buy the garage. it had been pretty run down when you found it and all of you spent half a year renovating, but in the end it was worth it.

it was the perfect place for all of you and the perfect place to practice songs for the band theo and leo had started.

before enzo, leo had played the guitar. now the band was missing a member and none of them new if it was even fair to go on.

after a few months, enzo, mattheos little brother started playing for them. they continued rehearsing in the garage, april went from time to time to watch them play, while your visits became less and less.

you didn’t want to see theo and from what you heard he didn’t want to see you either, because he stayed away whenever you were near.

weeks turned into months and what seemed like a separation for now turned into normality.

you had almost been glad when theo started talking to you again, even when it was in a malicious way. but that was safe territory, you were having a relationship that allowed both of you to not talk about everything that had happened. you could just ignore it that way.

now

theo spent his days running around his room, thinking about ways to make it up to you, to excuse his actions.

there were lines flowing through his head. a song was forming and he couldn't stop the need to sit down and write everything down, everything that you deserved to hear.

he didn't have the intention of airing out anything. he just wanted to show you what you were worth to him and how sorry he was that he had been the reason you had felt so alone. he had robbed you of your friends, he had robbed you of him, when you had needed him most.

later that day he drove up to the garage to use enzo's guitar. he wanted to feel the words, to make sure they were the right ones.

he played the first few notes, slowly and gently. before he began to sing, crossing words and adding new ones that fitted what he wanted to say better.

when he was finished he called enzo, begging him to send you a message, because you would ignore any message he would send anyway.

can you please come to the garage? please, i really need your help, it's about april

the message enzo had send made you worry. april didn't answer when you tried to call her, so you got the leo's old bike from the shed and rode there as fast as possible.

when you arrived, you walked inside quickly, searching the place with your eyes for kind of sign from enzo or april.

"hey" your eyes fell on the couch where theo was sitting.

you turned around, ready to walk back outside, but he quickly stumbled to his feet, holding your arm before you had the chance to flee.

"did you get enzo to send that message?" you asked "i thought something had happened to him or april. i was worried sick" you slapped a hand against his chest, trying to push him away.

"i know, i'm sorry"

"sorry-"

"doesn't cut it this time, i know" he interrupted "just please, sit down and listen to this"

"another song?" you huffed.

"please, y/n"

you sighed, before you sat down on the couch, you watched him walk around the keyboard, before he took the acoustic guitar and sat down across from you.

"it's called matilda" he muttered "and it's everything i want you to know"

you listened attentively as he played the chords, his voice only a whisper.

you were riding your bike to the sound of "it's no big deal" and you're trying to lift off the ground on those old two wheels nothing about the way that you were treated ever seemed especially alarming 'til now so you tie up your hair and you smile like it's no big deal

your heart beat faster when he looked up and found your eyes.

you can let it go you can throw a party full of everyone you know and not invite your family, 'cause they never showed you love you don't have to be sorry for leaving and growing up, mmh

your eyes filled with tears as the soft shiver in his voice and you realized that he was crying too.

matilda, you talk of the pain like it's all alright but i know that you feel like a piece of you's dead inside you showed me a power that is strong enough to bring sun to the darkest days it's none of my business, but it's just been on my mind

this song felt realer than any he had written before. it felt like everything theo wanted daddy issues to be, before it had been used in a way to hurt you.

you're just in time, make your tea and your toast you framed all your posters and dyed your clothes, ooh you don't have to go you don't have to go home oh, there's a long way to go

you can let it go you can throw a party full of everyone you know you can start a family who will always show you love you don't have to be sorry, no

you knew he was referring to the boys and april. it had taken you way too long to realize that they had been your family all this time, even during the hardest year or your life, they had tried to be close and show their love, you had just been too stubborn to accept it.

but love wasn't something that could end. not this kind of love. you had always loved them and you had always loved theo, but right now your heart was too heavy to forgive him, even if you so desperately wanted to.

"thank you" you said and theo looked up with hope in his eyes. "but did you think a song would be enough to fix everything that is broken between us?"

his heart sank and he shook his head.

"i tried to ignore it these past weeks, tried to be your friend" you muttered "because it was easy, it was familiar. but it's like everything that you did this past year comes back anytime i look at you and it makes me wonder how you can say you love me when that was the way you acted"

"i hated myself for what i did" theo admitted "it was my fault that leo needed to come and get you in the first place. i could've brought you home, but i didn't want to, because i was so damn jealous and stubborn"

"why didn't you come to the funeral?"

"because i was ashamed of what i had done that night" he looked down and for a moment you were sure he was gonna grab your hand. he didn't. "but i'm gonna make it up to you, if you just let me"

"it's too late" you shook your head "i appreciate your effort, but it's just too late, theo. i'm sorry"

"just give us one more try" he begged "i know that we belong together"

"theo" you said as you softly touched his cheek, he leaned in, capturing as much of your warmth as possible. "it goes great for a while and then we start fighting. that's just our nature. and we're so fucking immature when it comes to the other"  

"we can make it work"

you shook your head "no we can't" you looked to the ground "you were right when you said that we weren't good for each other. it's because we're not good to each other, at least never for long"

you left the garage and took all in you to not turn around when you heard him sob. there was a part of you that so desperately needed to be close to him, but an even bigger part was just hurt at his actions. that part had been in constant pain since leo had died and you truly did not know how to get rid of that pain.

theo tried calling you about a thousand times, you didn't answer and after some time just blocked his number. he stared at your window all day, but you kept the curtains closed.

you didn’t even mind him telling dave that you would be playing pixie dream girl on saturday, it was just that he had lied to you. and on top of everything else that hurt the most.

enzo had called you too, apologizing for the way he had led you on. he also told you that he had been at the doctors and gotten his cast removed. his hand was well enough for him to play saturday, so there was no need for you to show up.

you had been happy to hear that. after all that had happened you weren't sure if you had had the strength to stand on that stage with him.

it was friday, one day before the concert, when you sat down on the floor of your room and your hands went under the bed, pulling out leo’s box. you were looking for one of his photos, your favorite one of him and you, but you couldn’t find it.

“where is it?” you muttered, as you got back on your feet and looked around the room.

maybe it was downstairs. maybe it was in his room. maybe your mother had took it.

you walked down the steps slowly and carefully, as to not wake her.

leo’s room looked like it always did. it was organized, everything was were it was supposed to be. it had looked like that ever since he had moved in with your dad and only spent the weekends in here.

you walked around the bed and to the shelves where a few photos were displayed. you and him, him and the rest of the band. photos from your childhood, from summer at the lake, from band practices and late nights spend renovating the garage.

you opened the drawer that was filled with his clothes. parts of him that were still here, while he was so far gone.

you didn't find it and your eyes just slipped past your mother when you left the room. before you could continue your search in the livingroom, the doorbell rang.

"go away, theo" you said loud enough for him to hear through the door.

"it's me" a voice said "matt"

you opened the door and it was indeed mattheo who was leaning against the wall.

"if theo send you, you can tell him-"

"he didn't" mattheo interrupted, before his hand went to the back pocket of his trousers and he held a small box in your direction.

it had been wrapped and looked like a birthday gift.

"what is that?" you asked suspiciously.

"it's from leo" mattheo explained "he made me keep it, because you always searched his things for presents, remember?"

you did. you had always done that. it had been a way for yourself to try and react the best way to the gifts you were getting.

"it's from a year ago" mattheo continued "he made me keep it from you. i would've given it to you sooner, but i honestly forgot about it. i just found it because i had to clean out my drawer"

"which drawer?"

"i'd rather not say"

you nodded.

your birthday had been just a few days after the accident. april had baked you a cake and you had spent the day with her, laying in your bed, eating cake and watching movies. it was probably the saddest birthday you had ever had, mostly because you felt leo's absence extra hard.

he had loved birthdays. and he had loved giving gifts.

"thank you" you said finally, as you took the box from his hand. "do you know what's inside?"

mattheo nodded. "i don't want to tell you what to do"

"then don't" you smiled, ready to close the door, but mattheo wouldn't let you go so easily.

"yeah, but i will" he grinned "what happened was pretty messed up, okay? everything with your mum and dad.. theo acted like a fucking idiot and i'm not saying you should just forgive him, but just- both of you should stop punishing yourselves for something that wasn't your fault"

"matty-"

"just because leo died doesn't mean you owe him something" he continued "none of you is at fault for that. it was that fucking drunk driver okay? you and theo aren't cursed or anything and leo wouldn't be angry if you just stopped beating yourself up for something you had no control over"

"i appreciate-"

"just watch what's on this" he tapped the box "then we can continue this argument"

you finally nodded and watched as he walked back out to the street, he waved at you before you closed the door.

despite the uneasiness, you slowly opened the box. in there was just a dvd. you raised your eyebrows. leo had been a bit old school with these things.

you walked into the living room, turning on the dvd player and putting the dvd in, before you started the video.

"hey, y/n" leo was sitting right where you were now. "happy birthday! hopefully you like my present, at least you definitely need it. it's fine if you really like cormac, but don't forget us and uh, don't forget theo, hm?"

what followed was a black screen and then laughter, your laughter. a video started playing. your were chasing theo around the lake, while you could hear leo cheer you on behind the camera.

before you could start to wonder, music started playing and not just any music. about you, theo's unreleased song. so leo had known about it, about the song and probably also about the way theo had felt.

you began crying as other videos followed. leo and you trying to hit the last two bowling pins and failing. mattheo, enzo and you as you tried to make a human pyramid. laughter was heard all throughout as draco, blaise, april and you ran a race that you and april lost by far.

there was a video april had taken of you during practice, as you had sat on the ground before the band. your eyes had been fixated on theo the entire time. you didn't even know this video existed.

"who's taller?" theo asked into the camera. "what do you think?" the camera swung to leo, who smirked.

"you or her?" he pointed between you and theo. "is that a serious question?" your brother laughed and the camera swung back to you, making a face and crossing your arms.

"you're just saying that, because you like him more than me" you muttered with fake offense.

"never" leo laughed, before he pressed a kiss to your cheek, which you immediately rubbed off.

the last video was one of you all sitting at the fire. theo was playing the guitar and you were sitting next to him, watching his every move.

leo turned the camera around. "they're in love" her whispered with his mouth close to the lens, before he turned the camera back at theo and you and zoomed in on you, as you sang along to the song theo was playing. "theo doesn't want to admit it to me" leo continued "but she is his pixie dream girl" you could hear him laugh about the joke to himself as the video ended.

that's where theo had gotten the song title from. someone must've showed him the video at the campfire, maybe that was what tempted him to write about you.

"he was happy in his last months, wasn't he?" you almost shrieked as you suddenly heard your mother speak. you turned your head. she was standing behind the couch and she looked unusually awake. her face was as tear stained as your cheeks and you nodded.

"he was" your eyes fell on the on the photo she was holding pressed to her chest. she followed your eyes and sighed.

"i'm sorry" she exclaimed "i found it in your room and took it. it wanted to have my children near me and i always loved this picture of the two of you. i was about to give it back"

"it's alright, mum" she was so clear all of a sudden.

"come here, baby" she sat down beside you and opened her arms, so you could crawl under the blanket next to her. "i missed you"

"you did?" you asked surprised.

"i know it's my own fault" she said "i shut you out. you didn't deserve the way i treated you, i'm so sorry"

"mum" you muttered. "it's alright"

"no it's not" she pressed a kiss to your head "i will get healthy, okay? i promise. i lost my son that night, but my daughter is still here and i have to become a better mother"

"it was my fault" you whispered "that's why you got so sick"

"oh, baby" she shook her head "it was never your fault, i should've gotten help for myself immediately, but i just wanted to be alone. i never wanted you to feel like anything that happened that night was your fault and i was wrong to worry you, to let you feel like you had to get through this alone"

"i wasn't alone" you assured her "i had april"

"and theo right?" your mother pointed to the paused picture of you and theo at the campfire.

"theo and i don't really talk anymore"

"why not?" your mum asked surprised "you were always so close"

"we started falling out before leo's death and after that we didn't really talk to each other anymore" you explained "we became friends again, but he did some pretty hurtful things"

she looked at you expectingly, waiting for you to continue.

"he wrote a few songs about me and he messaged dad"

"oh" your mother breathed, before she cleared her throat "do you think you'll ever be able to forgive me?"

"there's nothing to forgive, i was never really angry" you admitted "i just felt so alone"

"i know, sweetheart" she nodded "i promise i will make it up to you" she nudged your arm "but if you're able to forgive me after all the horrible things i did to you these past months, don't you think you will be able to forgive him too?"

your eyes fell on the tv. you thought about the way theo's and your eyes connected and you thought about what leo had said.

they're in love.

"yeah" you nodded "maybe i will"

authors note: what do you guys think? should pixie forgive theo? :)

taglist: @7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555 @sakanelli-afc @cobrakaisb @ellen3101 @simp-for-fantasy

chapter seven of don’t blame me tomorrow!! so i’d love to know:

also additionally (in the comments) : there are only two chapters until dbm is over.. who should definitely have a few more interactions with pixie? :)

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧: 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐲

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: the night of the concert is here. will theo be able to fix everything between him and pixie?

warnings: bit angst, idiots in love, a bit cheesy

note: not really happy with the outcome of this chapter, but whatever..

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you tried not to think about it too much, but despite everything, saturday did not feel normal. it felt like you were missing something.

after you had ignored his messages, your dad had called you several times. you didn't want to speak to him, but you had to admit that it felt good being wanted by him for once.

you didn't know when he last tried to reach out to you.

you spent your day ignoring the time, staring blindly into your book and reading the same page over and over again. you were tempted, but you didn't open the curtain.

your mind had run in circles after what your mother had said last night.

you had worried that everything she said had just been a temporary state, but today she had gotten up before you to make you breakfast. she had still looked a bit sick, but colour was slowly returning to her face and today the had a meeting with her doctor.

she was trying to find a therapist too. not only for her but also for the both of you. she wanted to repair your relationship and she was slowly becoming her normal self again.

she had been right, if you could forgive her, you would maybe eventually be able to forgive theo too.

the pain and fault that had rested on your shoulder had slowly evaporated into thin air, lifting everything that had made your and theo's relationship hard in the first place.

the doorbell rang at around six and you wondered who it was. your mother was still at the doctor's and your friends were already all at the concert hall. or at least that was what you had thought.

"what are you doing here?" you asked as your eyes fell upon enzo and april. "shouldn't you be there already? it's an hour drive"

"that's all enzo's doing" april rolled her eyes jokingly "you would think for someone that has claimed yours and theo's relationship to be none of his business, he would act like it wasn't, but here we are"

enzo ignored his girlfriend's words completely. "you have to forgive him, y/n" he almost begged "you should've seen how distraught he looked at rehearsals today. he's hating himself for what he did"

"enzo, i really-"

"i'd do anything, y/n" he interrupted "he's not himself without you"

"you should've seen him" april pointed to enzo "i let him drive my car this once and he turns it around in the middle of the street and drives back here. we were also already fourty minutes into the drive!"

you had almost laughed, if enzo hadn't been nearly crying in front of you.

"you're everything to him" enzo continued unfazed. "he has loved you for years! all of us saw it right before our very eyes, even your brother! theo loved you from afar for so long, don't you think you can love him back?"

all colour suddenly disappeared from april's face as realization dawned on her. "repeat that!" she said.

"what?" enzo turned his head at her confused "don't you think you can love him back?" he repeated, but april shook her head.

"i mean what you said before that" enzo and you looked both confused now and she rolled her eyes "theo loved you from afar!"

"what?" you asked, but it looked like enzo had realized what she meant.

"yeah!” he threw a fist into the air and turned around himself, loudly screaming.

"am i being filmed?" you looked around for invisible cameras.

"y/n" april laughed as enzo continued dancing behind her. "you're daisy"

"i'm what?" you asked with a dry laugh. "are you alright?"

"daisy buchanan" enzo said loudly "you're daisy buchanan and theo is jay gatsby"

"no, that's-"

april interrupted you, before you could tell them how crazy all of this sounded. "he loved her from afar" she quoted in a deeper voice, obviously mimicking theo.

as if that wasn't enough enzo chimed in, spotting a high-pitched voice, undoubtly quoting you "then he could've stayed on his fucking side of the lake, instead he threw these gigantic parties, just hoping for one single person to show up. is that what it is to you? having an unhealthy obsession with something that could lead to your death and calling it love?"

"he loved her because she wasn't easy. he loved her because being with her meant not knowing what's to come, because being with her meant to never grow bored" april continued.

"did we read the same book? because i read a book in which a foolish man spends his entire time obsessing over a woman who doesn't love him, atleast not as much as he loves her and later he dies, because he wants to save her and she doesn't even bat an eye, before she goes back to her husband" enzo rattled that down like he had learned text for a whole musical.

april smiled. “that’s why he defended daisy as if his life depended on it. because she is you!”

they both looked at you expectingly.

"i don't know what is weirder about this" you shook your head "that you both can effortlessly quote something theo and i said weeks ago or that you decided enzo should play me. that was the worst girl voice i ever heard, april's mimicking of theo was at least believable"

"that's what you took from this?" april sighed.

"she said we effortlessly quoted them" enzo pointed out "that means she remembers" he tapped a finger to his head.

"wait, you're right" april laughed "oh, you're so smitten!"

"we should really go now" enzo reminded with a look to his phone. "well, are you coming or not?" he asked.

"i don't know, guys"

"as is said before” she pressed “theo was obviously talking about you" april reminded "you're daisy! what's there not to know?!"

enzo seemingly had enough, as he massaged the space between his eyebrows. "why are you and theo always making it so unnecessarily hard? do you love him?"

you smiled "i do"

"do you want to see him?"

"yes"

"then what are you waiting for?!" he took your arm, pulled you out of the house and closed the door. "come on!" then he pushed you and april to the car.

"first he has time to come and get you and now we have to run like someone is chasing us" april muttered under her breath and you giggled.

enzo was really reminding you of a family father right now.

he started to drive just as your arse had hit the seat. you were able to close the door just in time, before it could make contact with the stone wall.

"enzo!" april scolded "that's still my car!"

"hold on tight, woman!" he screamed "we're not going to miss this concert!"

and he was right, because he turned the car as if he was testing at how much speed he could take the turn.

to your surprise, you made it in time, with all your body parts still attached.

"that was—"

"awful!" april interrupted as she opened the door and got out "you're never driving this car again!"

"sorry, sweetheart" enzo was close behind her and you followed suit, unsure if you could come inside without them.

inside the venue, enzo kissed april goodbye before he headed behind the stage. “let’s find a good place to watch them, yeah?” april smiled and you nodded.

you walked through the crowd, not too close to the stage, but good enough.

“hey” a voice said and both you and april turned around. “you’re y/n?” the guy was wearing a headset and clipboard. he looked like he belonged to the venue.

“yeah?” you asked surprised. were you not allowed to be here?

“mr l/n told me to come and get you” the guy explained “he has a vip place on the right side of the stage. he said you both were with him?”

you looked around the people in front of you until your eyes caught the space he was talking about. there was your father, staring right at the stage.

april followed your line of sight. “we don’t have to” she said to you, before she turned her head to the unfamiliar man “we would rather stay here”

“are you sure?” he asked and looked to you expectingly.

“no” you said quickly and were surprised by yourself “we’re coming”

you followed the man through the crowd of people.

“what are you doing?” april muttered, clutching your arm.

“i can’t always run away from difficult feelings”

“okay” she nodded “just give me a sign and i’ll knock him out”

“thank you, april” you smiled “you’re the greatest friend i ever had”

she smiled and you could see how much your compliment flattered her. “i’m glad that you are coming back to normal” she giggled, as she wrapped an arm around your body.

“hey april” your father greeted when you stood in front of him. april said a hesitant hello, before she nudged your arm and told you she would wait for you.

once april had left you alone, both of you didn’t know how to act.

“h-hey” your dad said, before he opted for an awkward side-hug.

“hi dad”

“how have you been?” he pushed a hand through his hair. you could see him struggling, he didn’t know what to say, just how you didn’t know.

you smiled and shrugged. he nodded.

“can we stop doing this?” you finally asked “this feels so forced. we haven’t talked in a year and that’s shit, but we don’t have to ignore it happened, okay?”

“i’m sorry” your dad shook his head “i thought all of this would be easier, but you’re not little anymore and-“

“-i’m not as forgiving as i used to be” you interrupted “what you did and what you said was actual bullshit, dad. you messed everything up and i think you’re responsible that i have such a hard time trusting people”

“peanut” he muttered.

“why didn’t you call?” you asked as tears fell over your cheeks “why didn’t you want to be my dad anymore?”

he couldn’t look you in the eyes. “what happened wasn’t your fault”

“i know”

“yeah, but i made you feel like it was” he admitted “i said horrible things and i brought you back home like i didn’t want to see you. i was ashamed, i thought you didn’t want to see me after what i had said to you that night”

“i needed my parents. there’s no excuse for you not atleast trying to be there” you shook your head “you could’ve tried” you added, crying.

your father didn’t say anything. he nodded, before he softly touched your shoulder. “i would love to try” he said gently “if you still want me to”

“yeah” you nodded “but i don’t think i can just forgive. it’s gonna need a lot more than a promise from you”

“i know” a tear slipped over his cheek. “i want to make it alright. theo made me realize what i did to you and i’m so ashamed, peanut” he gulped “i just want to be your dad again”

“i want you to be that” you softly hugged him and it felt more normal than before. “but we have to fix a lot for that to happen”

“i know and i will try to make it work again”

“hey, sorry” april leaned around the body of your dad “they are starting now”

you smiled at your dad, before you loosened the hug and all three of you walked further up to the barrier.

“hey guys!” theo said into the microphone “we’re cursed legacy. this is cheap wine!”

you watched him closely, how he gripped the microphone. his voice flew through the speakers, making you shiver. the veins on his necks were more obvious when he came to the chorus, pouring his heart right into your ears.

now you’re dancing along,

to his newest song,

laughing like you did when you were mine,

and it hits me, cause i can’t fix it,

on the bottom of your lip,

reminder how it is,

but there’s still a drop of my cheap wine.

the song ended and you opened your eyes. april was jumping up and down, loudly screaming.

your father smiled impressed. “they’re really good”

“i know” you nodded proudly.

after cheap wine, cursed legacy played eight packs of cigarettes, you get me so high, only angel and neon nights.

before theo could announce the next song, dave fraser entered the stage.

you and april exchanged a confused look, when you noticed theo and dave eagerly discussing something. theo shook his head, more than once, before he sighed.

“and now” dave had grabbed the mic that had been standing next to enzo unused. “make some noise for pixie dream girl”

you clenched your teeth and noticed the look on theo’s face. he looked about as happy as you did.

enzo started playing the chords, blaise and mattheo starting right after him, before finally draco joined.

theo‘s eyes wandered over the crowd, before they finally landed on you.

no, you thought, as you saw the conflict in his eyes. then he did what you had feared. he didn’t start singing.

the band exchanged confused looks, before they repeated the same progression of chords. the crowd hadn’t noticed that theo missed his cue, but they would if he would continue to not move and just stare at you.

“is something wrong?” your father muttered beside you.

you didn’t take your eyes off of theo, but shook your head.

“i’m sorry” theo finally moved and started speaking. the music behind him died down. “i can’t do this” he sent his bandmates a regretful look, before he jumped down from the stage and started making his way through the crowd in the direction of the door.

you started walking at the same time. but not to him.

“y/n?” april called confused.

you walked behind the stage. maybe theo really wanted to throw everything away because he had been an idiot and wrote that dumb song, but you wouldn’t let him.

“hey” you said into the spare microphone, when you entered the stage. the crowd, who had been turned in the other direction as they looked after theo, turned around.

and so did theo.

you could almost hear the sigh of relief that escaped mattheo‘s lips. the rest of the band seemed to be relieved to see you too.

“ehh, i’m pixie” you smiled and you were as confident as if pixie really was your name. “and this is pixie dream girl”

you nodded to enzo, who promptly started playing. after a few seconds of confusion, the rest of the band joined in.

i’m an average girl, with tangled up hair,

my laughter's like nails on a chalkboard, it's more than he can bear.

i flutter around, like a clumsy old crow,

leaving chaos behind me, wherever i go

if you had to sing that stupid song, you would at least change the lyrics in a way that was fun.

he‘s pretty average too,

a thorn in my side, believe me it’s true,

he‘s up all night, screaming his songs,

i‘ll stay awake, and sing along!

you could see the smile enter theo‘s face.

the rest of the band seemed pretty impressed by your spontaneous ability to change the lyrics. you could also hear enzo add a few improvised riffs.

you raised your arm, waving for him to come and join you. he walked his way back through the crowd, as you sang the chorus.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,

in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,

she’s enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,

oh in her eyes, she‘s a pixie dream girl.

he entered the stage and his laughter was reaching your ears through the loudness of the crowd and the instruments. you laughed with him.

he smiled to his bandmates, shaking each of their hands as if to apologize, before he walked up behind his own microphone stand, a few feet away from you.

you nodded for him to start the next line. it seemed that he had caught on to your lyric changes.

she's a pixie dream girl, and i get the hype,

she sings in the shower, it‘s just my type.

she talks too loud, and she never shuts up,

but i’m pretty sure i won‘t ever get enough.

you turned your head and smiled at him. he looked so beautiful as he was illuminated by the stage lights. his hair seemed to glow and you felt the sudden need to touch it and push it out of his eyes.

you started singing the pre-chorus.

he's a daring challenge, a relentless test,

but i need him around, never giving me rest.

theo added the last two lines, before the chorus began again.

she'll chatter and flirt, driving me mad,

i'm losing control, it's really too bad.

it was the first time that you guys sang together in a long time. your voices harmonized perfectly and you could see enzo and matt smile at each other when they noticed.

theo smiled his typical smile, the one you grew to despise, but could not love less right now.

you got rid of the pullover you were wearing (deciding that it wasn't the right piece of clothing for a rock concert) and were left in just a top. the stage lights were hot.

you pulled your microphone from it's stand, walking across the stage. draco winked at you when you put the pullover down next to his keyboard stand. you smiled at him, as you started laughing.

you walked back to the microphone stand and continued singing the bridge.

but oh, she turns behind the window glass,

It’s not the first time, but maybe it’s the last

I just hope she’ll never stop her twirl,

oh, in my eyes, she's my pixie dream girl.

before the instrumental part of the music started, you turned to theo, who was already looking at you. he took a step in your direction. you did the same.

"i'm sorry" he said "about everything, i should never have-"

you weren't even angry anymore. you had already forgiven him everything.

"no" you shook your head "i'm sorry for pushing you away at a time where we both needed each other"

"we both are idiots, huh?" he muttered over the music and you nodded laughing.

the band started playing the same set of chords again, dragging out the instrumental part.

"i love you" theo finally said. his words made your heart flutter. and up here on this warm stage you couldn't have been happier.

"i love you" you replied, the same sincerity in your voice.

theo's smile grew impossibly bigger, before he softly took your face in his hands and connected your lips. the crowd roared. you both turned to theo's microphone as you sang the chorus together.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,

in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,

she's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,

oh, in my eyes, she's my pixie dream girl.

the last few chords of the song rang out the crowd started cheering. you smiled down on all the people who were before you, before your eyes turned to the barrier, where april and your dad were still standing.

april was holding two thumbs up, while your dad looked a bit confused.

theo outstretched his hand and drew you close to his body. you hugged him tightly and he pressed a kiss on your head.

the crowd was still cheering and you could hear nearing footsteps. a second later, mattheo threw his arms around the both of you. it didn't take long for enzo, blaise and draco to join your group hug.

you laughed loudly as they began jumping around on the stage, loudly celebrating their very first official concert.

you were sure you could not have been happier than in that moment.

taglist: @7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555 @sakanelli-afc @cobrakaisb @ellen3101 @simp-for-fantasy

additonal note:

this is cursed legacy's debut album. i was supposed to upload this in chapter four, but actually forgot..

leo is the one in the middle. (mattheo mentions it in chapter four)

⛧༺ ’no body, no crime‘ ༻⛧

IN WHICH you try to solve an ongoing mystery in hogwarts, while actively trying not to fall in love.

coming soon…

CONTENT !

pairing: theodore nott x fem!potter!reader

characters: harry potter, hermione granger, ron weasley, ginny weasley, luna lovegood, neville longbottom, draco malfoy, blaise zabini, lorenzo berkshire, theodore nott, pansy parkinson, mattheo riddle

genre: mystery, romance, horror

warnings: mentions of blood, death, weapons, murder, suggestive language

episode 001. dinner and a glass of wine

during the christmas holidays, a heavy snowstorm isolates hogwarts, leaving only a handful of students and teachers stranded at the castle. the events turn deadly when a teacher is found murdered

episode 002. no, there ain't no doubt

to be continued...

episode 003. i ain't letting up until the day i die

to be continued...

episode 004. somebody's gotta catch him out

to be continued...

episode 005. i think he did it but i just can't prove it

to be continued...

episode 006. i wasn't letting up until the day he died

to be continued...

EXTRAS !

ೃ⁀➷ playlist

to get you in the right mood for a dark academia murder mystery

ೃ⁀➷ moodboards

insight to the characters aesthetics

ೃ⁀➷ extra scenes

once the series is finished, requests will be opened, revealing the insight in more scenes you want to see

ೃ⁀➷ taglist: @melsunshine @shereadsandcries @ch3rry-lips @the-sylver-dragon @mayamonroem @allurearia @prongsprincessworld @brokenpoetliz @winterbarnesblog @mysummerwinesblog @cowboy-luvr @ahead-fullofdreams @mietlynn @maxsisly @too-efn-old-to-be-here @reverse-soe

let me know if you want to be added!!

𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞: 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: theo and you get your happy ever after

warnings: i don’t think there are any! let me know if that’s not true :)

note: here it is!! finally the epilogue is here! i loved writing this series so much!! please let me know what you thought of this chapter and/or the story in general!

!!!make sure to keep your eyes on the extras that are coming tomorrow (and feel free to request drabbles/ fics on future or past situtations in the don’t blame me universe, or questions you still have!! i will be thrilled to answer them!!)!!!

word count: 3.9k

note: not really happy with the outcome of this chapter, but whatever..

previous chapter | masterlist |

"mommy?“ a voice called and your head snapped to the side. "can you give me one of those paper towels?“

you rolled your eyes smiling at his antics and nodded, before you threw one in his direction.

"mate, you know i love you, but please stop acting out your mommy kink on my girlfriend“ theo hit mattheo's shoulder.

"well, y/n is the closest thing i have to a mother right now" mattheo argued dramatically "she takes care of me when i'm sick, she cuts apple slices for me—"

"—we've been on tour for two months" theo shook his head "it's not like you're never gonna see your mum again, get a grip"

"it's alright" you smiled. "i don't mind"

mattheo nodded "see?"

“yeah, whatever” theo shook his head “just get ready, please? we start in ten”

after the concert a few months ago, cursed legacy had gotten their record deal. dave had been impressed by their show, he wanted them to play opener for the rest of the following tour leg.

as soon as the school holidays began you joined them, traveling around the country.

theo and you couldn’t be happier. everything was going great and you were ready to tackle life together.

since the concert, theo had not stopped writing songs and they were only a month away from releasing their second album, soft death.

he was always talking about how you were the muse behind most of the songs. and you had to admit that they had never had so many love songs played (or written) before.

during the tour they had made many new fans, their followers growing while were getting more and more attention. they were already playing a few songs from the new album constantly and about you was a fan favorite. your favorite was echoes of devotion, which theo had written for you. it was the second song they played every night.

“see you later” mattheo took a look to his phone, checking the time, before he pressed a sloppy kiss to your cheek and quickly walked away.

theo rolled his eyes before he turned to you and gave you a long and passionate kiss, before he too took off after mattheo to get on stage.

you collected your things, before you started walking. you already knew that it would be hard to feel normal again once you were home in a month and college would start. how could you ever live a normal life after being treated like royalty?

you took your stage pass and walked in the direction of the tents. you hadn’t seen the rest of the band in hours. the reasons were simple enough. draco and blaise had made it their personal chore to walk around the venues before every show, claiming something about a good luck charm they absolutely needed. they had asked you to accompany them on a few occasions, which you did but quickly regretted after they spent the entire time talking about their hook ups from the night before.

they had already adopted the rockstar life style.

quite the opposite of that was enzo. he spent hours in the back of the bus, or in his hotel room, talking to april on his phone. she had come to a few shows, but she couldn’t be there constantly because of work and so they had decided to face time or text in any given moment. you rarely saw the boy without his phone.

april had been scared that their relationship would not last. she had feared that enzo would quickly realize how limiting a relationship was when there were a few hundred girls basically licking the ground on which he walked.

you had told her that enzo wasn’t like that, but you could still understand why she was feeling that way and promised to keep your eye on him.

enzo had done nothing more than proof the both of you terribly wrong. most of the time he did not even look into the direction of other girls, let alone talk to them.

that the rest of the band was busy could’ve been to your and theo’s advantage, making it possible to enjoy time for only the two of you, if there hadn’t been matt, who made it his personal task to follow you around like a lost puppy.

you loved him, you really did. during the time the both of you had only grown closer, going back to the sibling like relationship you had once had, but at times you wished he was anywhere else.

especially that one time when theo and you were making out on the couch of the tour bus and mattheo came barging in and acted like he didn’t know that he had just interrupted something, before he planted himself in the middle of theo and you and started playing star wars on the tv.

"good evening!" enzo's voice roared through the microphone, after they had come out and played only angel. the crowd cheered. "the next song we're gonna play is about a very special someone. our front man's girl to be exact. he's a very smitten man, so naturally, this is a very emotional love song, feel free to hold up your flashlights.. here is echoes of devotion!"

the crowd cheered once again, while you clapped your hands, your cheeks as red as the curtain next to the stage. theo's voice was always what started the song, he looked just as cheesy as you did, even if enzo had made it a habit to say the same lines every night, you and theo were still flustered about his words.

my love, like orpheus, i'd come,

to tread through shadows, my body numb,

but truth be told, in my hearts embrace,

i fear i'd falter, lose the race.

the music only set in after that. a steady and slow beat that was always responsible for your shiver as it guarded his voice through the chorus.

for i'd turn back, just like him,

my gaze would brake, our future grim,

your fading form, in shadows deep,

my love, too strong, my soul to keep.

the song was balancing right between breaking the crowds heart and animating them to sing along. it was the perfect mix of love and heartache, often making your eyes swell with tears, when you saw theo react the same way.

the song had a special place in both of your hearts. for one part, it was comparing you and theo to your favorite myth, which theo had done knowingly. and second, it reminded you both of how hard love could be, how even loving people deeply could led to hurting them.

it was one of the first songs theo did not sing entirely on his own. the second verse was accompanied by background vocals of the rest of the boys, making it sound almost dreamy and ethereal.

like orpheus, with his lyre's song,

i'd sing to you, all night long,

but in that moment, with fate's cruel twist,

i'd choose your eyes, and lose what's missed.

the second chorus was a little different to the first one, deeper, as theo had said.

for i'd turn back just like him,

the current stronger than we swim,

i'd face the darkness, lose my way,

for one more look, i'd gladly pay

"i don't understand" theo's voice was only above a whisper, making sure no one could hear you both in the treehouse. it was far too late for both of you anyway.

"what?" you had asked, looking up from the ipod in your hand.

"orpheus, that's his name, right?" the boy brushed his hair back, revealing his forehead. he hadn't gotten a haircut in ages, exclaiming something about girls finding him more attractive that way. you had spontaneously laughed at that prediction, considering you were the only girl he talked to. but the boy was fourteen and suddenly very interested in appealing to the opposite gender.

"what about him don't you understand?" you had the same tone in your voice your mother did when she would explain something to you and your brother.

"well, why does he turn around?" theo shrugged his shoulders, as he turned, facing away from you, to continue to paint doodles on the wall of the tree house. "he could've saved her if he had been stronger, if he had loved her enough he could've made it"

"it's not about that, theo" you had mused "orpheus looked back because he loved her so much, because the only way he could've saved her was if he had loved her less. but he didn't"

"i don't know, pixie" you send him a look upon the name, which he obviously couldn't see, your annoyance bouncing off of the back of his head. "i would be able to save you" his simple statement made the air freeze between the two of you, hitting deeper than it had been meant.

"then you don't love me enough" your voice was only a faint sound, but loud enough to make theo stop in his tracks.

without him noticing the irony of the situation, he turned around to look at you, his blue eyes crashing into yours. the softness in them almost made you shudder, asking yourself if the way you were feeling about him was totally normal. you did not have much experience with boys, but theo was different anyway, he was not like them, he was yours, without any requirements.

"no, i think i do" he whispered back, realizing that the quick act of him turning around had come right after you had simply doubted his love. he knew in that moment that it would never take much for him to turn around for you.

maybe it was the quiet of the night, or teenage hormones mixing up in the air, you weren't really sure later, but theo leaned across the space between you, gently grasping your lips with his, connecting them in a featherlight kiss.

there was no sound in the little room. there were only theo and you. and only your lips were touching.

for you're the melody that guides my soul,

through tempests wild and rivers cold,

i'll brave the depths, defy the night,

to hold your hand in morning light.

so here i stand, before your eyes,

with trembling heart, and no disguise,

to say, my love, in honesty,

i'd turn for your like orpheus for eurydice.

later that night, after the concert was finished and the band was saying their goodbyes, ready to leave the stage, you were waiting for theo behind the stage.

blaise and draco came down first, each of them ruffled your hair, before they walked away to find snacks.

enzo winked at you, holding his hand up for a high-five, which you gladly accepted.

matt plastered both of your cheeks with kisses, laughing deeply as you tried to slap him away.

all of the boys (except for theo of course) had grown to be like your brothers, but enzo and matt stood out the most. enzo was like the little brother you never had, especially because of his relationship with april.

mattheo had been protective of you ever since leo had brought you with him the first time at the age of five. he had looked out for you ever since, often joining forces with leo, when he forbid you from doing something.

even if you sometimes acted annoyed at him, you knew deep down that you needed matt, just as much as you needed your organs to survive. he had been (unlike theo at certain times) a constant in your life, you had never quite managed to get rid of. matt had made it clear to you that he wouldn't leave you alone. both of you were everything that was left of leo for the other.

you could see it in the way matt acted, when he would text you the most random things or when he was lifting you off the ground after he had predicted you would miss the single stair in front of your feet.

and he could see it in your face, as you scrunched your nose when you found something disgusting or when your eyes lit up at the mention of ice cream. or sometimes, in the rare moments when his heart ached the most, when you would laugh, and immediately stop, as you both realized how much it sounded like your brother.

it was impossible for either of you to forget leo, if you had still so much left of him.

the cologne was the first thing that entered your nose and just a second after, theo rumbled down the stairs, heavy footsteps echoing over the instruments that were already being played on stage.

he was wearing a white shirt, he had gotten it himself, your name written over his heart with a cursive lilac thread. his hair was messy and a little bit sweaty. you remembered the heat of the stage lights from the night of the concert months ago and your skin burned.

his jeans were dark and loose, you had joked that he needed to wear skinny jeans, because he was in a boyband. you had to search for a picture of harry styles, for him to believe that that used to be a thing.

his face lit up when his eyes fell on you. he pecked your lips, as he threw an arm across your shoulder. another kiss to your hair following.

"my dad messaged me" you said as you walked further behind the stage.

theo perked up at that "will he meet us for dinner?"

"yeah, yeah" you rolled your eyes, uninterested in talking about the boring information. you grinned, as you halted in your step, taking his hand in yours, as you almost jumped up and down from excitement. "we will probaly see a whole lot of him in the future"

theo raised his brows, confused what you were hinting at. your smile grew bigger as you could see the realization set in on his face.

"cadence?" he asked, not quite believing it.

you quickly nodded your head, your excitement resulting in a giggle, as he threw his arms around your body, pulling you close to his chest.

theo had applied to the college months ago. your father had just texted you to tell you that he was in. the mail was only being sent out the coming week and he wanted theo to know. that's also why your father had a lot of connections in the music world and was friends with dave fraser, the guy that had given the guys the record deal. he had worked at the college for the past twenty years, it was a big one, similiar to juilliard, but stationed in england.

while theo would go there, you had applied to many schools close to his (which included, but was not limited to oxford and camebridge). the acceptance letter for camebridge had come last week and the joy on theo's face had been incomparable.

"so it's happening" theo muttered in your ear "we'll both stay"

"i'm going nowhere" you assured, as you intertwined your hands, leading theo back to the tour bus, that would start driving to it's next destination in only a few hours.

"me neither, for now we have seen enough of the world to last us for a few years to come"

"are you joining in?" matt asked when the two of you entered the bus. the rest of the boys were sitting around the table, matt sorting poker chips and enzo's phone was propped up in the middle of the table, april's laughing face on it's screen.

"hey guys!" april smiled.

"hey stranger" you giggled.

"mate, could you please grab the cookies y/n's mum send her?"

"hey, those are for me" you protested.

matt shrugged "well the bus was only for us and i'm still sharing it with you"

you sighed, before you gave theo the okay to get them.

"only two more weeks and you're coming home" april was close to screaming of excitement "it's so boring without you guys. i even began missing blaise"

"hey!" blaise protested, as he grabbed the phone and turned it in his direction, so april was able to see the offended expression on his face.

"yeah, sorry" april muttered "now turn me back"

actually, even if you enjoyed all the special treatment you were receiving on this tour, you couldn't wait to go back home. you couldn't wait for life to be a bit more normal again, even though you were sure that it wouldn't take long before the boys would have their own concerts.

you couldn't wait to watch them grow, but for now, you savored every moment, as long as they still belonged solemnly to you.

"who's gonna start?" mattheo threw the last of the chips down, looking between the rest of you for help.

"i thought you read the rules" draco exclaimed confused.

"well, no" mattheo shook his head "blaise was supposed to"

blaise shook his head repeatedly, claiming to not have been part of mattheo's scheme. the boys began fighting, pointing at each other accusingly.

theo and you exchanged a glance, before you suggested to play a few simple rounds of uno, which everyone agreed on and quickly quieted down.

now everything was finally right and if you could talk to her, you would like to tell your younger self that everything would be alright one day and that she didn't have to be as scared of the future.

a few weeks later, when you were back home, theo helped you pack your things up in your room.

the rest of the tour had gone by in a breeze, and even if all of them decided to concentrate on studying at their respective schools, the band still existed and even dave fraser promised that the career of cursed legacy was far from over. soft death had already been recorded and was coming out in two weeks.

"what's that?" theo asked as he fished a folded piece of paper out of your backpack.

"oh" you furrowed you brows. "i thought i had thrown that away" you shrugged.

"well, what's on it?"

"after i first listened to pixie dream girl, april made me write down my feelings and burn the papers. she was scared that i would do something i would regret" you send him a look.

"okay..but why do you have it if it got burned?" he pressed.

"because i wanted something to remind myself how i felt about all of this"

"am i allowed to read it?" theo asked expectingly "it probably won't be nice"

"i don't care" you shrugged "go on"

theo unfolded the paper, his breath hitching as he read the words you had written. he looked up in surprise and you smiled. "that's—" he mumbled, but couldn't find the right words, surprise and love making it hard to concentrate.

"not mean?" you helped.

theo grinned, before he folded the paper up again and put it in his pocket "i want to keep it"

you smiled and nodded.

and after all this, you stupid stupid boy, you had written that day, you are still the only one my heart wants to know.

you and theo kept your eyes on each other, not one of you daring to look away. you could see every version in him, every stage of his life was readable from his eyes. even that night was readable and you wondered if the was thinking about the same thing you were.

"what was that?" you had asked, your voice raised above the normal whisper.

"what?" theo muttered, feigning innocence. you would've almost believed you had imagined the kiss, but the lipgloss on theo's mouth was telling a different story.

"you kissed me"

"ugh, no?" theo shook his head, crossing his arms defensively.

"ugh, yes?" you outstretched your hand, pointing to his lips. "there, cherry lipgloss"

theo rubbed his mouth in a quick gesture, getting rid of the evidence "where?" he asked, fluttering his eyes.

"right there!" you insisted, fighting back a laugh at his attempt to play it cool.

theo smiled softly, his gaze meeting yours with a mixture of fondness and mischief. "okay, fine. maybe i did."

your heart raced as you struggled to find the right words. "why?"

his expression softened, and he reached out to gently tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. "because... i wanted to."

"okay" you nodded, your voice only above a whisper. "but friends don't—“

"i know" theo had interrupted you. "i'm sorry"

something had shifted between you that night in the tree house, or at least for theo it had. it was like you were the only girl that mattered, like you were the only one that mattered. something about that scared him immensely.

you waited for him to say something. to explain to you what it meant for you, for your friendship. but his eyes were as big as yours and his mind wandered twice as fast. "we are friends" he muttered finally, as if to remind himself.

you nodded, taking it as answer enough.

the years turned faster than the pages of a book, you grew older, stayed inside your rooms when it got dark outside and you and theo never spoke of the night in the treehouse again.

neither of you had known what to say so you rather said nothing.

theo's last words to you that night, replayed themselves over and over again in your mind for the years to follow, even if both of you continued being friends normally.

"i couldn't help it" he had muttered, right after both of you had climbed down the ladder and were ready to go your separate ways.

you smiled at his honesty, as you held back a giggle. you couldn't see his face in the dark, the candle in the lantern you had brought with you had burned down completely, but you had a feeling that he felt the same mix of awkwardness and simple happiness you did.

"will you do that again?" you asked, feeling brave now that he was unable to see your face in the darkness.

air escaped from his nostrils, as he stifled a laugh at your question. "i'm not sure" he said.

"okay"

the air between you was quiet and still and you turned around before you softly walked the path between both of your houses in the direction of the balcony you had climbed down a few hours ago.

the sound of his voice had you stop in your tracks.

"but if it some day comes over me, and maybe it will.." he paused, seemingly searching for the right words.

you listened to him attentively, as your heart fluttered at his implication. it was like you could almost see the colour of his eyes, even if he was standing a few meters across from you, his body standing out against the light of the lantern down the street.

he was standing, his body facing in your direction and simply knowing that he was looking at you made your tummy churn. was this what friendship was supposed to be? or was it something different? was this love? did love really feel like that or where you going crazy?

theo cleared his throat, as he raised his voice so you could hear him clearly over the distance between you "just... don't blame me"

taglist: @7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555 @sakanelli-afc @cobrakaisb @ellen3101 @simp-for-fantasy @the-sylver-dragon @ess-perspective @starsval

—𝖉𝖔𝖓'𝖙 𝖇𝖑𝖆𝖒𝖊 𝖒𝖊: official soundtrack!

note: requests are open regarding anything to do with the don't blame universe (you can tell me anything: what you (didn't) like, questions you have, asks for drabbles/ short fics, characters opinions/ moments you'd like to see. feel free!!!)

best of tweets will follow in a few days, stay tuned!!!

debut album: neon nights -> real songs

blood//water (grandson)

daddy issues (the neighbourhood)

you get me so high (the neighbourhood)

fluroscent adolescence (arctic monkeys)

only angel (harry styles)

second album: soft death -> real songs

jackie and wilson (hozier)

about you (the 1975)

i wanna be yours (arctic monkeys)

she (harry styles)

obviously (mcfly)

too sweet (hozier)

end of beginning (joe keery)

made up songs:

neon nights

in the haze of neon nights,/ we were fearless in our flights,/ chasing dreams under starry skies,/ laughing 'til tears filled our eyes.

but time slipped away too fast,/ those moments we thought would last,/ now i'm left here all alone,/ where did our innocence go?

neon nights, where did you run?/ lost in the shadows of what we'd become,/ we were supposed to grow old together,/ but life had a different tether.

remember those careless hours,/ building castles from shattered flowers,/ promised you a better fate, now i've noticed it's too late

but time slipped away too fast,/ those moments we thought would last,/ now i'm left here all alone,/ where did our innocence go?

neon nights, where did you run?/ lost in the shadows of what we'd become,/ we were supposed to grow old together,/ but life had a different tether.

in crowded rooms, i search for your face,/ but it's just an empty space,/ echoes of laughter haunt my mind,/ leaving fragments of us behind.

neon nights, where did you run?/ lost in the shadows of what we'd become,/ we were supposed to grow old together,/ but life had a different tether.

neon lights fade into gray,/ silent reminders of yesterday,/ i miss you more than words can show,/ in these neon nights, where did you go?

lying to your face

she’s got those sailor moon eyes,/ never been the type of girl to take home to your mother./ she’s got those meteorite vibes,/ put it in park we can go get high on each other.

they don’t make ‘em like you anymore,/ they don’t make ‘em like you anymore.

lying to your face,/ but I’m falling from grace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?/ lying to your face,/ in this twisted embrace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?

we could hide from the truth,/ escape from the lies and the drama./ lost in our youth,/ your body is my panorama.

they don’t make ‘em like you anymore,/ they don’t make ‘em like you anymore.

lying to your face,/ but I’m falling from grace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?/ lying to your face,/ in this twisted embrace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?

oh, honey, you’re my secret sin,/ with every touch, i lose again.

lying to your face,/ but I’m falling from grace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?/ lying to your face,/ in this twisted embrace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?

cheap wine

we used to own the night,/ every whisper, every sigh,/ the way you looked at me,/ like we were meant to be,

now i see you in the crowd,/ his hand pulling you around,/ it's like a ghost of what we had,/ now he has you instead

i can't help but wonder why,/ we let our love just pass us by,/ now you’re living in a different time,/ but I’m stuck on replay in my mind.

now you’re dancing along,/ to his newest song,/ laughing like you did when you were mine,/ and it hits me, cause i can’t fix it,/ on the bottom of your lip,/ reminder how it is,/ but there’s still a drop of my cheap wine.

every time i hear your name,/ it’s like a flicker of the flame,/ i see your smile in my dreams,/ haunting me with what it means,

now you’re dancing along,/ to his newest song,/ laughing like you did when you were mine,/ and it hits me, cause i can’t fix it,/ on the bottom of your lip,/ reminder how it is,/ but there’s still a drop of my cheap wine.

every memory, every touch, / a love that once was, now it’s just too much,/ to see you move on, while i stay behind,/ clinging to the remnants of our time./ but i’ll raise a glass to what we had,/ and let it go, though it hurts so bad,/ in every tear, in every sigh, i’ll find a way to say goodbye.

now you’re dancing along,/ to his newest song,/ laughing like you did when you were mine,/ and it hits me, cause i can’t fix it,/ on the bottom of your lip,/ reminder how it is,/ but there’s still a drop of my cheap wine.

eight packs of cigarettes

in the glow of street lights,/ underneath the city's haze,/ you found me in the darkest nights,/ lost in a nicotine haze.

eight packs of cigarettes,/ burned through these lonely nights,/ trying to drown out regrets,/ but you're still in my head.

as the night moves past/ i'm the only one last/ tell me that you lied/ no, tell me that you're mine

eight packs of cigarettes,/ burned through these lonely nights,/ trying to drown out regrets,/ but you're still in my head.

in the haze of smoke and dreams,/ i'll keep searching for some reprieve,/ but until then, I'll keep the smoke,/ eight packs of cigarettes full of hope.

hot-headed

you walk in like a hurricane, eyes sharp like a blade,/ a tempest in your heart, every move is a raid,/ your words cut deep, leaving scars in their wake,/ a rebel without a cause, a risk i had to take.

hot-headed, you set the night on fire,/ a blaze of chaos and desire,/ hot-headed, you’re the thrill i crave,/ dancing on the edge of a tidal wave.

you're a wild card, a mystery wrapped in smoke,/ with a devilish grin, and a laugh that provokes,/ we clash like thunder, yet i can't stay away,/ caught in your storm, i'm lost in the fray.

hot-headed, you set the night on fire,/ a blaze of chaos and desire,/ hot-headed, you’re the thrill i crave,/ dancing on the edge of a tidal wave.

in the heat of our battles, we find our peace,/ in the eye of the storm, our hearts never cease,/ you're my sweet disaster, my beautiful curse,/ in this wild romance, we’ll always immerse.

hot-headed, you set the night on fire,/ a blaze of chaos and desire,/ hot-headed, you’re the thrill i crave,/ dancing on the edge of a tidal wave.

pixie dream girl

she's an average girl, with tangled up hair,/ her laughter's like nails on a chalkboard, it's more than i can bear./ she flutters around, like a clumsy old crow,/ leaving chaos behind her, wherever she goes.

she's a mess wrapped in chaos,/ a thorn in my side, no matter the cost./ she'll stumble and fall, then blame it on me,/ i'm tired of her games, can't you see?

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,/ in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,/ she's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,/ oh, in her eyes, she's a pixie dream girl.

she's a pixie dream girl, with a crooked old smile,/ her clothes mismatched, it's just not my style./ she talks too loud, and she never shuts up,/ i'm counting the seconds 'til i've had enough.

she's a nuisance, a pest,/ always around, never giving me rest./ she'll chatter and ramble, driving me mad,/ i'm losing my patience, it's really too bad.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song, In nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long, She's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl, Oh, in her eyes, she's a pixie dream girl.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,/ in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,/ she's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,/ oh, in her eyes, she's a pixie dream girl.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,/ in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,/ she's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,/ oh, in her eyes, she's my pixie dream girl.

soft death (in your arms)

your touch, like fire, ignites my skin/ we’re caught in the heat, where it all begins/ velvet kisses, burning bright,/ in your arms, i come alive tonight.

electric pulses, bodies close,/ in your eyes, a passion grows,/ dangerous, but i want more,/ in your arms, i’m begging for.

soft death in your arms,/ wrapped in the thrill, feeling your charms,/ every heartbeat, wild and free,/ i surrender, let it be.

your lips, a drug, i need the taste,/ losing control, there's no time to waste,/ aching love, a sweet embrace,/ lost in rhythm, we find our pace.

electric pulses, bodies close,/ in your eyes, a passion grows,/ dangerous, but i want more,/ in your arms, i’m begging for.

soft death in your arms,/ wrapped in the thrill, feeling your charms,/ every heartbeat, wild and free,/ i surrender, let it be.

the moonlight dances on your face,/ every touch, a sweet embrace,/ in this moment, we are one,/ desire rising with the sun.

soft death in your arms,/ wrapped in the thrill, feeling your charms,/ every heartbeat, wild and free,/ i surrender, let it be.

the day before tomorrow

don't rush into the unknown,/ tomorrow's not yet shown,/ take a breath, slow it down,/ in this moment, we have found.

let go of what's to come,/ today's beat, let's hum,/ in the now, we're alive,/ let's embrace this tonight./ the day before tomorrow,/ let's dance in the glow,/ no need to rush or borrow,/ just feel the flow.

sunset paints the sky in gold,/ memories to cherish, to hold,/ stars whisper secrets of the night,/ in this dusk, let's ignite.

let go of what's to come,/ today's beat, let's hum,/ in the now, we're alive,/ let's embrace this tonight./ the day before tomorrow,/ let's dance in the glow,/ no need to rush or borrow,/ just feel the flow.

time's river runs so fast,/ but we'll make this moment last,/ no regrets, no great sorrow,/ just today, no tomorrow.

let go of what's to come,/ today's beat, let's hum,/ in the now, we're alive,/ let's embrace this tonight./ the day before tomorrow,/ let's dance in the glow,/ no need to rush or borrow,/ just feel the flow.

the sweetest night

in the quiet of the night,/ underneath the stars so bright,/ close your eyes, my precious one,/ the day is done, the night has come.

the sweetest night, my dear,/ i'll hold you close, i'm always near,/ dream of gentle winds that blow,/ as you drift where dreams do go.

moonlight paints your peaceful face,/ in the cradle of my embrace,/ whispers soft, like melodies,/ carry you to far-off seas.

the sweetest night, my dear,/ i'll hold you close, i'm always near,/ dream of gentle winds that blow,/ as you drift where dreams do go.

stars above will guide your way,/ until the dawn brings a new day,/ sleep in peace, my heart's delight,/ in this sweetest night, so calm, so bright.

the sweetest night, my dear,/ i'll hold you close, i'm always near,/ dream of gentle winds that blow,/ as you drift where dreams do go.

echoes of devotion

my love, like orpheus, i'd come,/ to tread through shadows, my body numb,/ but truth be told, in my hearts embrace,/ i fear i'd falter, lose the race.

for i'd turn back, just like him,/ my gaze would brake, our future grim,/ your fading form, in shadows deep,/ my love, too strong, my soul to keep.

like orpheus, with his lyre's song,/ i'd sing to you, all night long,/ but in that moment, with fate's cruel twist,/ i'd choose your eyes, and lose what's missed.

for i'd turn back just like him,/ the current stronger than we swim,/ i'd face the darkness, lose my way,/ for one more look, i'd gladly pay.

for you're the melody that guides my soul,/ through tempests wild and rivers cold,/ i'll brave the depths, defy the night,/ to hold your hand in morning light.

so here i stand, before your eyes,/ with trembling heart, and no disguise,/ to say, my love, in honesty,/ i'd turn for your like orpheus for eurydice.

A/N: what’s your favorite song/ line? my fav is definitely neon nights, because theo wrote it about leo :(

taglist: @7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555 @sakanelli-afc @cobrakaisb @ellen3101 @simp-for-fantasy @the-sylver-dragon @ess-perspective @starsval

cursed legacy as.. chaotic tweets!!

content: tweets from the guys, april and pixie!

cr: to me

note: enjoy, i hope you guys like it :)

taglist: @7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555 @sakanelli-afc @cobrakaisb @ellen3101 @simp-for-fantasy @the-sylver-dragon @ess-perspective @starsval

—forever winter

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: theo pulls away from you and you’re worried about his well being

warnings: this is fic includes topic of depression, under age drinking, allusions to suicide (never actually mentioned though)

please don’t take this lighthearted, be sure not to read if this might trigger you and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you are in a similar position!! (1-800-273-8255)

my love, @mqstermindswift

the book in his hand looked like it was trembling. you looked up from your potions homework, grabbing the edge of it to make it stop shaking. theo looked up and you send him a questioning look.

he shrugged his shoulders, before he put the book down, laying it on the table in front of him.

"are you alright, love?" you asked after he had gone back to reading, totally ignoring the worry on your face.

"i'm good" he mumbled and you contemplated to press further, but quickly disregarded that thought.

you knew theo, he liked his peace. he would tell you if something was wrong, sometimes he just needed to dwell about it for a bit longer.

you spend a few more minutes in silence, before you read a question you didn't quite understand. theo was good in potions, surely he would be able to help.

"you already finished this, right?" you asked, your voice breaking theo out of his stare on the book "could you help me with this question? it says: 'outline the risks associated with draught of living death. how can wizards prevent accidents?'"

"sorry" theo mumbled, closing his book with a thud, before he dragged back his chair, standing up from your shared table in the library.

"theo?" you asked, wondering what he was doing.

"excuse me" he was already walking away from you.

you were close behind him, your things discarded on the table that theo and you had been sitting at since lunch.

"theo" you called again, your voice louder this time "theodore!"

"shhh" madam pince poked her head around the corner, sending you a warning glance "this is still a library, miss l/n"

"but—“ you tried to argue, raising a hand and pointing it helplessy in theo's direction, who had turned around at madam pince's warning tone.

"silence" madam pince warned again, before she disappeared behind the shelves.

theo sent you a look, a silent sigh escaping his lips, before he continued to leave.

maybe he was finished, maybe he didn't want to discuss this anymore, but you weren't. you followed him.

"why won't you just tell me what's wrong?" you asked, speedwalking beside him. holding pace with him was harder than expected. he had longer legs than you and would normally just walk slower when you were holding hands or walking together. now it was clear that he wasn't inclined on you catching up to him.

theo kept quiet, continuing his way. you could see in his face that he was fighting with himself.

you kept following him. through the halls of the castle, through the gardens, up the steps of the astronomy tower. you didn't say anything as you just sat there, feet dangling over the railing.

"i don't know what's wrong, really" theo said his first words since his sudden leave from the library.

"you know you can tell me anything, right?" you asked, your voice just above a soft whisper "i love you and would never judge you, i hope you know that"

theo nodded, his eyes moving back to the sight in front of you. the hogwarts grounds were covered in white and fluffy snow.

the cold hadn’t registered on your skin, even if you could feel the occasional breeze flowing through your hair, moving it around your face.

"why fall in love, just so you can watch it go away?"

you turned your head in surprise. you saw the conflict on his face and decided that it was better to keep quiet. you sighed, leaning your head on his shoulder and interlocking your fingers.

theo seemed fine the rest of the week. he was a lot less quiet than the days before, engaging in conversations with you and your friends, laughing at enzo's antics or reading to you in the library quietly, when you were finished going over the homework together.

"i'm sorry for waking you" mattheo looked terrible, like he hadn't slept in hours. your eyes fell on the clock on the nighstand beside the door, 3 am. "i think theo needs you"

you couldn't even be angry, you were alarmed right that second, already half out of the room, before mattheo's voice reached your ears again.

"would it be alright if i stayed?" he pleaded "i really need to sleep"

you nodded "of course, i'm sure pansy won't mind"

you took two stairs at once, running up to theo's room. he was pacing when you entered, mumbling something to himself and you understood why mattheo hadn't been able to sleep.

"theo" you said softly, tugging on his sleeve. "what's wrong?"

he stopped in his tracks when his eyes fell on you. instead, he started to cry.

"hey" you mumbled comfortingly, hugging him. "it's alright" you sat down on the bed together, his head in your lap, while you were trying to calm him down, gentle hands moving through his hair.

"it's not just a phase i'm in" his voice broke out after his crying had stopped a few minutes before.

"okay" you answered. you didn't let go of him for the rest of the night, making sure that he was falling asleep. you lay awake, wondering what was going on with him and what you could do to help. you felt helpless, seeing someone you loved so hopelessly sad and confused.

the next day, theo acted like nothing was wrong. joking about the night before, making it out to be some kind of misconsumption.

"i'm really worried" you argued, shaking your head.

"how many times do i have to tell you, you don't have to be?" theo replied, annoyance dropping from his tongue. "it's fine"

"no, it's not fine, theo" you furrowed your eyebrows, reaching for his hand. "don't shut me out, you're not alone"

despite theo's protests, you did your best to stay close to him at any given moment. it was only one evening the next week that he got you to leave him alone. he had been planning to go out with the guys and you weren't wanted there.

"send a patronus when anything happens, you hear me?" you instructed mattheo an hour before they were supposed to leave "i don't care if theo just hits his head, you tell me, alright?"

"geez, woman" mattheo exclaimed with a roll of his eyes "don't you think you're being a wee bit controlling?"

"oh, so you would like me to tag along, then?" you suggested "telling every girl how big of an idiot you are?"

"oh god, please no"

"then do what i asked you to"

"yeah, yeah"

it seemed that mattheo wasn't scared enough of you, because he had the guts to come and get you at 5 a.m. in the morning after he had watched theo getting piss drunk.

"for what are you good, really?" you said angrily as you followed him to the room. "i ask one thing of you, one thing!"

"it was guys night, y/n" mattheo tried to defend himself "i didn't want theo to limit his fun, because his girlfriend is jealous"

"jealous?" you almost screeched "mattheo riddle, you're going to see how jealous i am, when i rip your throat out"

mattheo raised his hands, stepping back.

"you can wait downstairs" you told him when you reached the door to theo's and mattheo's shared room.

"what?" mattheo's eyes widened "it's 5 a.m. and i'm in my pyjamas"

"i don't care" you smiled sarcastically as you watched him turn around and walk down the stairs, shoulders slumped and not another word of protest leaving his mouth.

the tears spluttered over your cheeks the second you opened the door and saw theo sitting on his bed. he looked so sad, so fragile, as if he'd fall apart with one wrong move.

you sank down on the ground in front of him. "theo, tell me what's going on, please" a sob left your mouth. "let me help you"

theo didn't react to your words, he wasn't even listening.

"i can't remember the last time you were this drunk" you mumbled, trying to lighten the mood, but failing as another few tears dropped from you face and onto the floor.

still no reaction.

your sadness turned into anger quickly. how could he just constantly ignore your worry, telling you he was fine and then do something that would suggest the opposite?

"speak to me!" you said loudly. theo moved, blinking as he recognized the room around him. he looked down at you in confusion. "just say something!"

"y/n, i don't" the tears welled in his eyes "what are you—"

"stop doing this" you screamed "tell me what's wrong"

he sobbed, raising his hands to cover his face and your eyes softened, feeling bad about the way you had just screamed at him, as he broke down in front of you.

"i didn't know" you cried, your voice breaking. you crawled onto the bed beside him and embraced his body like you were scared he was going to evaporate into thin air.

you cried together, your sobs filling the room with sound.

"i'm sorry, i'm sorry" theo sobbed.

"shhh" you muttered into his hair, kissing the top of his head. "there's no reason"

you had never seen him like that, so truly broken and it made you feel awful that you had tried to push for him to tell you what was wrong.

"i love you" you said, over and over again, until the words didn't sound like words anymore and then a few more times, making sure that he knew. he had to know, right?

theo didn't say anything, but he tightened his grip on you, pulling you closer by your arm. you didn't let go of him. you held him for seconds, minutes, hours and you would hold him for the rest of his life if that could fix him.

"i think something is wrong" theo's voice was raspy after all the crying.

"yeah" you nodded.

"i think there's been something wrong for a long time" he admitted and his eyes looked so painful as he turned to look at you and your heart broke all over again.

"i'm sorry" you softly took his face in your hands, removing the remains of tears with your thumbs. "i shouldn't have been angry with you, i shouldn't have acted like you were doing it on purpose"

"please, don't be sorry" theo touched your lip and you had to smile, it was his own way of telling you that he loved you without words. "i think it might be because of my mum and everything—" he paused, searching for words "at home"

"i'm here for anything" you assured "we can talk or we can just sit and be silent for hours and we will find someone who can help you"

"thank you"

"there's nothing to thank me for" you shook your head. "just promise me you'll talk to someone"

"i will" theo nodded.

"good" you smiled softly, kissing his forehead "i was just so scared that something would happen to you"

"i know" theo nodded, shame lingering in his eyes "i had a hard time believing anything i was hearing lately, like everyone was just lying to me"

"you can believe in one thing, i won't go away"

theo softly smiled at your words, holding you tightly to his chest. "i won't go away, either" he promised and that promise worked like a spell of assurance for your heart that had been so heavy these past weeks.

—so high school

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: he knows how to ball, you know aristotle and your friends know you’re a perfect match

warnings: a tiny bit suggestive, but mostly just cute fluff

note: this was so fun to write :)

@mqstermindswift

"you're already on page 200?" you didn't even hear the voice beside as you were so concentrated on staring at the slytherin table.

it was a rather warm thursday morning in november as you sat at breakfast with your friends. the hall was bustling with the excited chatter about the upcoming quidditch game between slytherin and gryffindor and it seemed like the team had never been fitter.

slytherin was a strong opponent, even the most stubborn gryffindor had to admit that.

"earth to y/n" hermione waved her hand before your eyes and you focused your eyes on her.

"huh?"

"ron asked you something" hermione nudged your arm softly and your head turned in ron's direction.

"yeah" you nodded, absentmindedly "what was your question?"

harry and hermione giggled, while ron looked a bit offended at your lack of interest.

"if you would stop staring at our biggest enemies, maybe you could hear what i'm saying"

"calm down" harry rolled his eyes "it's just a quidditch match"

"funny that you of all people are saying that" ginny spoke up from next to the boy "as if you weren't the one reserving the quidditch pitch every single afternoon for two weeks straight for practice"

"well, they're not bad at what they do, are they?" harry said defensively and ginny shrugged.

with a sigh, and a piece of paper in the middle to mark your page, you closed your book, having lost the last bit of interest in continuing.

"you just started this yesterday" ron resumed to the question he had asked you a few minutes ago "how come you're already so far in?"

"i'm just a quick reader"

"yeah, sure" hermione laughed "or maybe because reading a book gives you an excuse to stare at theodore nott from time to time, while he is doing his homework in the library"

"i'm not" you said rather loudly, before your voice returned to a whisper "i'm not staring at theodore nott"

"sure you aren't" hermione leaned closer over the table and send you a teasing glance. "i never even saw you so much as glance in his direction"

"yeah, right" you nodded, not catching the obvious sarcasm in her tone.

"eh, ladies?" harry asked with a turned head "he's coming right this way"

"what?" you and hermione asked at the same time as ron asked "who?"

"nott" harry quickly whispered, before said boy laid a hand on the tabletop right in front of the chosen one, his eyes clearly on you.

"hey" theodore nott said friendly and your eyes widened. he was wearing his usual slytherin uniform, but his tie was loosened as it was hanging around his neck. you had the sudden urge to fix it, but had the strength to hold you back from it.

"hi" you were quick to answer.

before he could explain what he was trying to do, ron interrupted your very short conversation "quite bold coming here" he raised his eyebrows at the boy.

"ron" hermione quickly scolded, but theo shook his head laughing.

"he's not wrong" theo said and then smiled at you "i'm rather bold"

hermione noticed that you and the boy were too busy staring at each other, so she did what she could to help you. "were you trying to ask y/n something, theodore?"

"yeah, actually" theo nodded and your heart was thumping so loudly, you feared he could hear it. "are you coming to the quidditch match next friday?"

ron groaned, which was quickly followed by a cry of pain as hermione kicked him under the table.

"sure" you smiled at the boy.

"great" theo smiled and his smile was so dreamy, you feared you would simply pass out. "i'll see you then" he tapped his invisible hat, before he turned around and walked back to the slytherin table where his friends were waiting for him.

you rested your chin on your hand, as you watched after him.

"is she coming to the quidditch match?" harry repeated confused.

"yeah" ron added, rolling his eyes "that is the stupidest question i've ever heard, i mean her own house is playing and her brother is captain of the team"

"maybe he doesn't know that" you muttered.

"doesn't know what?" hermione laughed "that you and harry are siblings? i highly doubt it"

"then why is he running around asking stupid questions?" ron crossed his arms. he was clearly not liking the way both you and hermione seemed so fond of the slytherin boy.

"good point" harry pointed in ron's direction.

ginny and hermione exchanged a look, before the latter began to speak. "you guys clearly don't get it. he wanted an excuse to speak to y/n"

"why should he want to speak to y/n?" ron seemed like he had made it his personal mission to sound like an idiot.

"ron!" ginny scolded before she hit the arm of her older brother "he wants to speak to y/n, because he's clearly in love with her"

you head spun around so fast, that harry almost choked on his pumpkin juice. "he's what?" you and ron asked at the same time.

"oh this is so romantic" ginny muttered while she stared at you dreamingly.

hermione couldn't help but smile at your horrified facial expression. "aren't you happy about that?" she laughed.

you shook your head. "happy?" you repeated "this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me"

"i thought you liked him?" harry asked and you couldn't help but smile at the compassionate tone in his voice. he normally hated when you would speak about boys.

"i do" you admitted almost silently as your cheeks turned rosy. "but staring at him was so much easier than actually talking to him. him liking me back possibly means that we could get into a relationship. this is way too real"

"women" ron cried helplessly. "you never know what you want"

"oh i know what i want" you laughed sarcastically.

"and that would be?" harry asked and he seemed just as confused as ron.

"for that boy to stay far away on his side of the hall" you nodded, before you gathered your book and stood up from the table. "now, please excuse me, i have to go get my things before class starts. on top of that i spent enough time today talking about boys"

your friends smiled as you waved goodbye at them and left the great hall.

"she can't be serious, right?" harry asked hermione and ginny.

"i don't even know" hermione shrugged, before she quickly changed the topic, knowing you wouldn't appreciate them talking about you behind your back.

you walked through the corridor and in the direction of the gryffindor common room. it wasn't that you didn't like theo, it was more that you really liked him that was the scary part.

you had liked him since the beginning of the year and you were scared that reality couldn't come close to the fantasy you had build around the boy.

you admired so much about him. his interest in quidditch and that he, even when slytherin lost, was never unfair. he was smart, without being unkind to people when they were wrong. he liked silence as much as he liked talking to his friends. and sometimes when his eyes would fall upon you, there was a friendly glint in them which would make your heart flutter.

but maybe theo wasn't all that. maybe he was different than anything you had observed about him. you would prefer to always just imagine things, rather than having them destroyed. it wouldn't be his fault if he wasn't like you had imagined him to be, it would be all yours, but you would also hurt his feelings in the process and that just wasn't fair.

later, after the first few lessons of the day, you didn't go to lunch as you normally did, but sat down in the library, starting your potions essay.

"i see you're already on that, huh?" you shrieked at the sudden voice beside you. theo was leaning on the shelf next to you and raised his eyebrows at your expression. "i didn't mean to startle you"

"you didn't" you shook your head, but he could clearly see through your lie. "why are you here?" you asked, quickly distracting from what you had said.

"i was looking for you" theo said matter of factly as he walked around the table and sat down in front of you "you weren't at lunch so i came here"

"how did you know where i was?"

"i often see you reading or doing homework here, so i figured it was worth a try"

you nodded at his words. "and why were you looking for me?"

he laughed at your persistency "i fear i made an idiot ouf of myself at breakfast this morning"

"i don't think that's possible" your argued.

"it happens more often than you would think"

"does it now?" you laughed and theo closed his eyes as embarrassment flooded his features.

"i'm sorry" he said "i never seem to find the right words when talking to you"

you had to smile at the honesty with which he admitted that. "i don't think you're an idiot" you said softly and theo smiled relieved.

"i'm glad you don't" he stood up "it would be too bad if i already lost all my chances with you after two conversations. assuming i even have a chance with you?“

you watched his features closely. the lips that were turned upright in an unsure smile, the flushed cheeks and the glint of hope in his blue eyes. you thought for a moment, deciding that there was no reason for you to be afraid. the boy had clearly proved that he was as kind as you had imagined him to be. "yeah" you smiled up at him "you do"

"great" theo smiled "good luck on your essay"

"thank you" you watched him walk out of the library before you rolled up the parchment and took out your novel, deciding it was the right time to continue reading it, while your heart was fluttering inside your chest.

the next morning your were sitting at the gryffindor table as usual, turning the pages as you read your book and ate breakfast at the same time.

"you guys must be so excited for friday" luna said when she sat down next to ginny and harry. "this is your first game, right ron?"

ron eagerly nodded his head, the nerves playing inside his mind these past few weeks.

"he's a bit nervous" harry smiled and luna nodded understandingly.

"morning" a voice behind harry said and all your friends turned their heads.

"y/n?" ron asked at your lack of reaction.

"i warn you, if you're interrupting me to ask something unimportant again..." you mumbled, your eyes still fixated on the book in front of you.

"i don't think that's what he was planning to do" hermione giggled and you looked up, then turning your head in the direction in which she was looking, only now seeing theo standing next to you.

"good morning" theo repeated and you smiled.

"hey"

"may i?" he pointed at the empty spot on the bench beside you and you nodded.

hermione and ginny exchanged a look as harry and ron did the same.

theo muttered something into your ear, which none of your friends could hear, making you laugh and nod.

then he began eating like normal. occasionally he would whisper something at you, waiting for your answer, before the both of you referred back to eating and reading in your case.

your friends watched with wide eyes how quickly you and theo had fallen into a simple rhythm in which both of you were biting down at your toast and he would turn the page of your book anytime you nodded.

"is this the twilight zone?" ron whispered.

"how do you know what the twilight zone is?" hermione whispered back harshly and ron shrugged.

theo and you had finished eating, when he muttered something to you once again and you nodded, gathering your book as you both stood up.

"wait, where are you going?" ron asked.

"uh, doing our homework" you quickly excused, before you followed theo out of the hall, both of your giggling.

all of your friends had been watching you with dumbfounded expressions. and to their horror, the days of unexpected absurdities did not end there.

theo came to sit with you and your friends every day of the following week. engaging in friendly conversation and spending much time around you in general. on two mornings your friends had even seen you sitting with theo's friends.

theo even came to sit with you on the day of the quidditch match, going as far as wishing harry and ron luck.

later that day, when they were all sitting around in the courtyard, draco malfoy, followed by the rest of his friends, walked closer. you and theo had been nowhere to be found, as usual for this past week.

harry, expecting the usual kind of insults, sighed when his eyes fell on malfoy.

"malfoy" he greeted.

"potter" malfoy nodded and the gryffindors perked up at the lack of hostility in his tone. he looked to his friends (mattheo, lorenzo and blaise) and then back to the dark haired boy, before he sighed. "seems like your sister and our boy are in love now or something"

harry quirked a brow while him and hermione exchanged a look.

"and as much as i hate that, i think we'll have to expect some sort of—" he stopped, searching for the right word, while spotting a disgusted expression "involvement with each other"

"we don't need to be friends" harry shrugged and hermione nodded. ron rolled his eyes, annoyed that they were even talking with malfoy in the first place and ginny just seemed confused, as blaise raised his hand and waved at her, blowing her a kiss in the next second.

"i agree" draco nodded "but theo is, sadly, too kind for his own good"

"yeah" mattheo added as he saw the confused look on harry's features "he wants to make sure that there is no animosity between us and y/n's friends, as he put it"

"well, that's nice" hermione nodded impressed.

draco send her a tortured expression. "yeah, whatever"

"we just wanted to make sure that all of us agree to be respectful of theo's and y/n's relationship" enzo smiled and immediately received an elbow from draco to his side.

"no need to be so cheerful about it" the blonde boy muttered.

"anyway" hermione concluded, with a stern undertone in her voice, as she stepped next to harry, "we should all do what is best for our friends, right guys?" she turned around to also receive ginny's and ron's agreement.

ginny nodded "of course" before she nudged ron, until he reluctantly nodded his head as well.

"great" draco nodded, before he outstretched his hand to shake harry's "potter"

"malfoy" harry replied as he shook the boys hand, agreeing to give their rivalry a rest for the sake of their friends. "we're still going to destroy you in the game today"

"wouldn't expect any less" draco almost smiled.

the boys turned around to leave, blaise hitting harrys shoulder in a friendly manner, before they were interrupted by theo and you coming around the corner, laughing.

"hey guys" you greeted and to the gryffindors surprise, the slytherins replied to your greeting, which didn't seem as forced as them talking to your friends before.

theo nudged your shoulder, saying a quick goodbye, before he left you with your friends and followed his friends out of the courtyard.

"what the fuck?" ginny said the moment the boys had been far enough away and you had sat down in the grass beside her.

"i can't believe what just happened" hermione seemed just as surprised and harry nodded. even ron did not say anything.

"what?" you laughed as you looked between the stunned faces of your friends.

"i think draco malfoy just apologized or something"

"he did?" you wondered as you turned in the direction in which the boys had disappeared.

"i don't know what you did" harry said "but it's clearly more powerful than any kind of magic i've ever witnessed"

"i think theo really really likes you" hermione muttered "at least enough to have a stern word with his friends. it's important for him that they behave"

"we hung out with them a few hours ago" you explained "they're friendly and quite funny. even draco, when he wants to"

"i can't grasp this" ron mumbled "just a little more than a week ago you said theodore nott speaking to you was the worst thing that's ever happened and now you're both basically married, blending your families like in that adam sandler movie"

"what is it with you and muggle television references?" ginny muttered confused, while ron just shrugged once again.

"well, i don't know" you smiled "i had feared that he would be totally different than what i had expected, but he isn't. he is even better than that. he's funny and kind and speaking to him is so easy"

"you're really like him, don't you?" harry asked and you softly nodded as your cheeks turned red.

"i do" you looked between your friends "is that okay with you guys?"

"if even draco malfoy behaves himself just because theodore told him to, i fear that he can't get any more perfect for you" hermione joked "so of course it's okay with us"

"harry?" you asked hopeful as all eyes turned to your brother, not even ron dared to protest.

"i just want you to be happy" he shrugged "and it seems like that's all what nott wants too"

you smiled while you hugged him. "i'll have to change before the game, are you coming with?" you asked ginny and hermione, who excitedly giggled at the possibility to hear all the details on your and theo's afternoon.

you took your time getting ready for the game, loudly singing along to your favorite songs as you looked for the perfect outfit and did your make up.

ginny and hermione exchanged glances anytime you would speak about theo and your smile was so big you looked like you could've burst.

you arrived perfectly on time to the game. it took longer than any other one you had watched, both gryffindor and slytherin being strong teams and constantly cancelling each other out.

finally the game ended, when draco caught the snitch and the points of the slytherin outweighed the gryffindors.

the mood in the gryffindor stands was quite sour, but you couldn't help but be a bit excited for theo, who had thrown a lot of goals.

"hey" you smiled as theo came out of the slytherin changing rooms. his hair still dripping from the shower he had taken moments prior.

"hey" he answered "where are your friends?" he looked around you, noticing the almost empty gryffindor stands. it was cute that he worried they had just left you here.

"oh, i told them to go without me" you shrugged "i wanted to wait for you" theo smiled as that.

"then lets go" he outstretched his hand and you took it, like it was perfectly normal for you both to hold hands. "there's a party, at the slytherin common room"

"are you inviting me?" you laughed and theo nodded.

"yeah, i thought maybe you'd like to come"

"ron was right, i am absolutely fraternizing with the enemy"

theo shrugged, but nodded "looks like we're both going to hell"

you laughed at that, but quickly stopped when he let go of your hand. you looked up at him in surprise, but he did not say anything. instead he used his now free hand, to open the castles door for you.

you turned around as you waited for him to enter and close the door too.

“well, and they say chivalry is—“ he turned around joking, but was quickly interrupted by you pressing your lips to his. his bag hit the ground with a thud, as he pulled you closer by your hips.

the world seemed to fade away as you melted into the kiss. theo's arms tightened around you, his fingers pressing into the small of your back as if he never wanted to let go. the warmth of his touch and the intensity of the moment sent shivers down your spine.

breaking the kiss, you rested your forehead against his, both of you catching your breath. theo's eyes were darker, more intense than you'd ever seen them. "i've wanted to do that since you made draco trip in our third year" he whispered, his voice husky.

"what?" you laughed.

"i think he said something stupid like he normally does, but you had that expression on your face, like you wouldn't just let him get away with it and before i could finish thinking about what you planned to do, you raised your foot and draco fell over"

"oh, yeah" you giggled "i remember that"

"he whined for weeks about you and your stupid gryffindor friends" theo explained "and all i could think about was that you were the most beautiful girl i had ever seen. i wanted to speak to you ever since then, but never had the guts to"

"what changed your mind?" your voice was just above a whisper as you looked up to him with big eyes.

"my friends and you"

you furrowed your brows, confused how he meant that.

"well, my friends always tried to get me to just speak to you, but what really got me to do it, was when you started seeing me. back in third year i wasn't even sure you knew my name and then you had that boyfriend for two years and i thought everything was over, but then we ran into each other at the start of the year, do you remember?"

"i do" you admitted truthfully. you remembered it so clearly, it was the moment you had begun to like him, as he went to grab your book, that had fallen out of your hands and smiled up at you with such kind eyes.

"you thanked me for getting your book" theo recalled "and you actually knew my name"

"i didn't know you liked me for that long" you said "i thought i was just having a one sided crush on someone i could never have a relationship with"

"it's very far from one sided" theo smiled "and i promise i'll be better than any boyfriend you have had before"

you smiled at him, before you once again connected your lips. he walked you backwards, until your back was pressed against the wall. you were sure you had never met someone that was so good at kissing.

"no ones ever had me" you mumbled between kisses and catching your breath "not like you, theodore nott"

—superman

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: theo won’t leave you alone after you broke your leg, you’re not sure you appreciate it that much

warnings: leg injury, but nothing else i think

students were jumping to the side as pansy parkinson was rushing through the halls of hogwarts, eager to spot the dark-haired boy she had been looking for for the past ten minutes.

“theo!” pansy called when she spotted him in the library, chatting away with the rest of their friends.

“hey, pansy” theo greeted but he furrowed his eyebrows when he noticed her expression. “are you alright?”

“it’s not me” pansy shook her head “it’s y/n”

the chair made a loud sound as it was pushed over the floor as theo stood up abruptly “is she alright?”

“she’s in the infirmary” pansy turned around and theo was close behind her, following her back out of the library and down the hall.

“what happened?” theo asked as pansy started moving even faster. “pansy”

“i think it’s something serious” pansy answered “she send me a patronus to get you and meet her there”

“shit” theo was brushing a hand through his hair, his face having lost all its color. they were rushing through the hallway and theo was trying his best to not fall into a sprint, fearing that pansy would not be able to keep up.

finally, the door to the infirmary flew open and theo and pansy walked into the room. a few curtains had been drawn close and madam pomfrey looked up at the sudden commotion.

“mister nott, miss parkinson” she greeted friendly and like she had suspected them both to arrive here soon

“where is y/n?” pansy asked out of breath

madam pomfrey smiled and pointed to the bed a few ones down. the curtain was closed and theo, closely followed by pansy, rushed forward, pulling it to the side.

“hey guys” you were sitting in bed, eating some jell-o. the rest of your body was under the blanket and a bit of your foot, wrapped up in blue bandages, showed up at the end.

“are you alright?” theo asked confused

“oh yeah” you laughed, making a throwaway hand gesture “i’m perfectly fine. poppy has been keeping me company”

“poppy?” pansy repeated confused. her and theo exchanged a glance, while you were busy waving at madam pomfrey

“this jell-o is amazing!”

“thank you, dear” she smiled and theo watched you gulp another giant piece of bright green jell-o.

“do you guys want some?” you held the bowl in their direction but both of them shook their heads.

“what happened? why are you even here?” theo asked

“yeah” pansy added, crossing her arms “and why do you call madam pomfrey poppy?” she whispered

“well, i fell down my broom” you brushed the blanket to the side, exposing your bandaged foot “it’s broken and it hurt like hell to put back in place, but whatever” you shrugged, slurping the rest of your jell-o down

“what?” theo and pansy exclaimed at the same time.

“i’ve been here for some time” you nodded “so poppy and i became kinda friends i guess”

“so when exactly did you have that accident?” theo asked exasperated

“oh, like this morning?” you wondered “right before classes began”

“it’s almost seven” pansy noted “that’s like ten hours ago, y/n”

“she’s right” theo nodded “you only thought about calling us now?”

“well you were in class and then i slept for a while, so yeah” you shrugged your shoulders, while your friends exchanged confused glances.

"so, y/n" madam pomfrey said when she came back to your bed "i'd say you're good to go. i got you a few more pain potions from professor snape that you can take whenever you feel like you need some, but apart from that you should be alright. we can remove the cast in two weeks, thanks to the quick healing potion i gave you"

"thank you, poppy"

the woman nodded, before she called for a house elf, who brought you crutches you could use during the time your leg needed to heal.

"you're free to take her back to the common room" madam pomfrey instructed pansy and theo. "she needs a bit of rest, but she should be alright to go back to classes on monday"

"so soon?" theo's eyes widened and the protectiveness was evident in his voice.

"of course, mr nott" madam pomfrey laughed at the boys eagerness "we don't want her to miss too much, or grow bored in her dorm, but i'm sure that y/n will gracefully accept any assistance you're willing to provide"

she really shouldn't have said that last part, because theo eagerly nodded. at that moment you had thought that theo's help would be a blessing, but over the coming week you quickly learned how wrong your judgement had been.

he spend every minute close to you, and with that there was no exception. even when you went to the toilet, he was waiting in front of the door for you to return.

he carried your books to every class, even if you didn't share it and made sure to wait after it was over. he often even carried you around, claiming that it had to be far too straining for you to walk around on crutches the whole day.

you loved theo for all the care he was directing your way, but you were also getting tired of it.

it wasn't until thursday that you were able to escape his sight for the first time. and that was only thanks to pansy and mattheo, who had promised you to keep him occupied so you could slip away.

you arrived at the infirmary quicker than you had thought was possible due to your injury, but you were sure it was because of the fear that theo was already chasing you.

"y/n" madam pomfrey said surprised when she saw you standing in the door.

"poppy" you ecxlaimed relieved at the sight of the older woman. "you have to give me something that'll make my leg heal faster, please"

"i can't" madam pomfrey shook her head "the healing potion i gave you a few days ago is the quickest there is. it's only one more week, i'm sure you can wait that long"

"no" you shook your head "another week is way too long"

"i'm sorry, but you'll have to endure that" madam pomfrey excused "healing takes time, sweetheart, like everything else"

"okay, sure" you nodded "can you take me back then? it's probably not beneficial for me to walk around and possibly jeopardize the healing"

madam pomfrey laughed and you send her a sulky look, before she suddenly stopped.

"oh" she exclaimed surprised "you were serious"

"of course" you crossed your arms, which was kind of hard with the crutches still in hand "i wouldn't joke about such a thing, poppy"

"but why would you—"

"here you are" you turned around slowly, like voldemort himself was standing behind you. it wasn't voldemort, but you had to admit, that you would've preferred him.

"theo" you smiled through clenched teeth.

"i searched half the castle for your whereabouts" now that he mentioned it, he did sound out of breath. "walking through the whole castle must've been tiring for you, why didn't you ask me to come with you? i could've carried you if necessary"

you turned your head to look at madam pomfrey, who seemed to slowly understand your situation as she looked a bit disturbed about theo's monologue. you send her a look to the extent of: this is what i had to deal with all week, before you turned back to the boy behind you.

"it's alright, theo" you smiled "i'm fine, really"

"are you sure, love?" theo furrowed his brows "because we do have to walk all the way back and down to the dungeons. you know what? maybe it would be smarter for me to carry you" he was already bending down, a hand on the small of your back, while his other was reaching for your healthy leg.

your eyes widened at that and you jumped away, so his hand was grabbing the air. theo furrowed his brows, but did not say anything, as he walked a step closer and tried the same again, with you hopping away just before he could reach your leg with his hand once more.

"what are you doing?" theo muttered as he grew embarrassed of your little charade in front of madam pomfrey.

madam pomfrey was grinning at the ridiculous dance the two of you were acting out in front of her eyes. she almost felt sorry for theo as he helplessly tried to lift you off the ground, back bend and his body in an umcomfortable stretch.

"what are you—" he reached around you and you quickly slipped away, hiding behind madam pomfrey. "y/n" theo sighed, when he looked up.

"i can walk on my own" you said defensively, one crutch in your hand, the other laying on the ground beside theo.

"but it's easier if i just carry you" theo pleaded "come on, don't be difficult"

you perked your nose up, offended by his words.

theo sighed again. "sorry, that was stupid" he shrugged "can i now help you please?"

you sighed too, exchanging a look with madam pomfrey, who shrugged, before you nodded. you hopped back in theo's direction. collecting your other clutch from the ground before your raised both of them up, waiting for theo to lift you.

"see?" theo mumbled, when you both had said goodbye to madam pomfrey and were on your way back to the slytherin common room. "it's way easier this way"

"yeah, yeah" you nodded, still a bit offended about the way he held you for completely uncapable. you knew he meant good, but god you couldn't wait to get rid of this stupid cast.

he sat you down on the couch, your leg prepped up beside you on a pillow and enlightened the flame in the fireplace.

"thank you, theo" you said reluctantly. "i really do appreciate your help, even if i think you could tone it down a bit"

theo smiled. "it's just who i am, i feel like it's my obligation to help my friends if they're hurt"

"it isn't" you assured "but thank you"

you had laid back your head, lazily closing your eyes. theo was right, walking around all day was tiring for you.

"don't be a baby, draco" pansy's voice made both theo and you shriek up. you had fallen asleep, his head on top of yours.

"it hurts terribly" draco said defensively.

"i can't be that bad when she let you go back to the common room after two hours in the hospital wing" mattheo remarked.

pansy and mattheo had walked in first. behind them draco... on crutches!

"i don't even understand that! y/n was there for a whole day"

"well, y/n's not such a nuisance" pansy remarked, dashing out of the way, before draco could hit her with one of his crutches.

"what happened?" you asked and it was only then that the three of them noticed theo and you.

"i broke my leg" draco answered "it was a terrible accident, actually"

"was it?" mattheo had to hold back his laughter. "we were trying to finish our divination project, when draco said it was stupid, spilled his tea and promptly slipped on it"

"yeah, as i said, terrible accident"

"deserved accident" pansy corrected "i was not finished with that cup"

"whatever" draco threw himself down on the cushion beside you "the next two weeks are going to be torture.“

"don't worry" you smiled "i bet theo is burning to help you. are you gonna carry him around too, theo?" you asked, turning to your brunette friend and trying hard to stifle your laughter at the expression on his face.

"oh that would be pretty helpful" draco muttered, before theo had a chance to intervene.

"i don't think i—" theo tried explaining, but you interrupted him.

"it's just who i am, i feel like it's my obligation to help my friends if they're hurt" you quoted his own words back to him, voice a bit lower than usual "weren't that your words?"

"i can't carry draco around" theo protested again.

"why not?" mattheo smiled smugly, having witnessed all the times theo had insisted on carrying you. "you did carry y/n around a lot"

"that's different"

"how is that different?" pansy wondered. you could see that she was enjoying the way, theo was helplessly searching for a way out of this conversation. "y/n's leg is broken, so is draco's"

"you can't really expect me to do this, guys" theo laughed uncomfortably, his laughter quickly dying out at all your serious expressions.

"don't you love me, mate?" draco asked disappointed and clearly high on medicine.

theo's face turned a shade paler. "draco, it's not that i don't care—"

"come on, theo," draco pouted dramatically, "i'm your best mate. plus, it's your obligation to help friends who are hurt, remember?"

you almost had to giggle. draco was acting totally out of character, clearly being the cause of all the medication madam pomfrey had given him. you could remember how you had felt after..

pansy crossed her arms, thoroughly enjoying theo's discomfort. "you can't argue with that, theo."

theo sighed deeply, realizing there was no way out. "fine, but only if you promise to stop calling me out for being too helpful."

draco's eyes lit up. "deal! now, could you please carry me to my bed? i think the couch isn't comfortable enough for my poor leg."

suppressing a groan, theo bent down to lift draco. as he did, draco whispered, "be gentle, theo. i’m very fragile right now."

"more than usual?" you laughed and draco crossed his arms, offended at the joke.

mattheo, pansy and you struggled to contain your laughter as theo gingerly picked draco up, muttering under his breath about "suffering for friendship."

draco grinned as theo carried him out of the common room. pansy turned to you, shaking her head in mock disbelief. "honestly, this might be the best entertainment we've had in weeks."

"agreed," you laughed, watching the spectacle.

you all shared a good laugh, your worries about theo's overprotectiveness momentarily forgotten. when theo returned, looking thoroughly exhausted, you couldn't help but smirk.

"enjoy your workout, theo?" you teased.

theo shot you a tired but good-natured glare. "just remember, y/n, i'm doing this out of love."

pansy snorted. "and draco’s enjoying every minute of it out of sheer spite."

"i think he'll come back to his senses tomorrow" mattheo announced, before he, quickly followed by pansy, excused himself to bed.

"in all seriousness" theo said, turning to you after your friends had left "i did it out of love for you too"

you smiled at him, admittedly feeling a bit bad about the way you had treated him, even though he was just trying to help you. "i'm sorry" you excused "i shouldn't have been as dramatic as i was, you were trying to be nice and i ruined it"

"i wouldn't want to change a single thing about you, you know?" theo shrugged "i admire that you always handle things on your own, but it was really courageous and sweet of you to accept my help."

"thanks" you grinned "and just so you know, i did it out of love"

theo's smile widened, his gaze softening as he looked at you. there was a moment of silent understanding between the two of you, a mutual recognition of feelings that had been simmering beneath the surface. slowly, he leaned in closer, his hand gently reaching up to brush a strand of hair away from your face.

your heart skipped a beat as his warm breath tickled your skin. the air around you seemed to crackle with anticipation as he closed the gap between you. his lips met yours in a tender kiss, a gentle affirmation of the unspoken emotions that had brought you both here.

when you finally pulled back, both of you were smiling, your faces flushed with a mixture of excitement and contentment.

“i’m glad i finally did that” he admitted.

"me too," you replied, your voice barely more than a whisper, your fingers gently tracing the contours of his cheek. "but you could've kissed me without hurting your back all week"

"well, any reason to be close to you is a good one" he grinned sheepishly, before he kissed you again.

—bigger than the whole sky

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: you get bad news and theo is conflicted about it being his fault

warnings: sad, but ends in (kinda) fluff, trauma, mentions of war

theo was watching you as he always did as you sat at the avenclaw table, chattering with your friends.

his friends were used to that weird habit of his, it seemed like wherever you went, theo was close to watch over you.

"what is it with you and that girl?" mattheo's voice made theo raise his head.

"y/n?" theo asked surprised.

"of course, y/n" blaise rolled his eyes next to him. "what other girl could he possibly mean? all you ever do is stare at her"

"we're friends" theo shrugged. it was true. you guys weren't the best friends in the world but would occasionally meet up on the astronomy tower since you had run into each other there in third year. theo had recognized the book under your arm and you had spend and hour sitting and talking about it.

you often came there now to exchange books and read in silence or talk about them after you had finished them.

"yeah, looks like it" draco said sarcastically as he watched theo's eyes glide back to your form.

"just admit you're in love with her and they'll stop bugging you" pansy nudged the tall boy next to her and theo just shrugged.

"i don't know"

"you don't know, what?" draco asked with a raised brow "you don't know if you're in love with her?"

theo nodded his head and his friends sighed simultaneously.

"how can you not know that?" enzo spoke for the first time "have you never been in love?"

"just because you fall in love with every girl you see, doesn't mean we all do" mattheo joked and enzo frowned at him.

"i'm just not sure, okay?" theo said defensively, without taking his eyes off of you "and even if.. it would never work"

without theo noticing, pansy smiled at him, as he watched his eyes light up as you noticed his eyes and raised your hand, waving at him. "how do you feel around her?" pansy asked softly.

"warm" theo simply said, before he continued "when she looks at me, it feels like the sun glazing my skin during the summer. and when she laughs it sounds like the wind moving the trees. i have the need to keep her safe all the time, even though i know that nothing will happen to her here"

"i think you have your answer, mate" blaise said and theo had never noticed him sounding so sincere and serious. he looked between his friends. they all spotted a similar expression, atleast until his eyes fell on pansy, who looked like she was about to cry.

"that was beautiful" she muttered, while she snuffled her nose "why don't you ever say things like that about me, draco?"

draco's eyes widened in surprise, before his face spotted an expression similar to betrayal, as he turned his head to look at theo. "thanks, mate, for raising the bar to the sky"

pansy slapped his arm and draco's eyes were back on her again, just like theo had already turned his head back at you, not even hearing a word of what draco had said.

you threw your head back, laughing at something the girl next to you had said, before you turned your head and raised your eyebrows in surprise as an unfamiliar owl landed on the table in front of you.

theo raised his eyebrows too. he watched as you ripped open the letter and your eyes scanned the paper. he could not read the expression on your face and was wondering what you were thinking, when you quickly muttered something to the girl next to you and stood up, rushing out of the hall.

"was she crying?" blaise asked surprised and theo quickly remembered seeing a few tears slipping over your cheeks.

and then he knew what letter you had just gotten.

"a ministry owl" he said for his friends to hear. he didn't have to further explain. they all knew what that meant

"oh" pansy said and all color vanished from her face. "do you think..?" she left the question unfinished and theo just nodded.

"where do you think she'll go?"

"i know where" theo muttered "but i'm not sure that i should be the one to comfort her now"

"what? why not?" mattheo shrugged "you clearly love her"

theo looked up from the table and his friends noticed the hint of tears in his eyes "what if it was my father? i can't possibly try to comfort her, when i'm one of them, can i?"

"you're not one of them" pansy shook her head "you're not you're father, none of us are our parents"

"that doesn't matter. there's a war brewing and when it comes down to it, i'm on the wrong side"

"you're still her friend" draco argued.

"draco is right and that you're conflicted on all this shows how much you care enough to not let your beliefs come between you two" pansy said.

"go" enzo nodded.

theo stood up from the table and walked out of the hall in a quick step. he took two steps at once when he walked up the astronomy tower. just like he expected you were already there.

you were staring down to the grounds of hogwarts, while quite tears ran over your cheeks. they were reddened just like your eyes and despite it all, theo thought that you were incredibly beautiful.

you turned around when one of the floorboards made a sound when he stepped closer, but quickly relaxed once you noticed it was him.

"hey" theo muttered, before he sat down beside you. "is it alright if i sit with you?"

"you already are" you shrugged, but there was no malicious intent in your voice and theo relaxed.

you sighed, before you pushed the letter from the ministry in the taller boys direction. theo's eyes scanned the words on the page.

"they burned our whole house down" theo looked up from the paper when you started speaking. "they didn't find my parents once the aurors arrived. they're not sure if they could flee, or if the death eaters took them"

"i'm sorry" theo muttered, while he folded the paper. "i hope they're alright. i wish i could do something"

"you've come here" you said softly, before you moved closer to him and put your head an his shoulder. theo reluctantly raised his arm and then gently rested his hand on your shoulder, pulling you closer.

"do they know who did it?"

"mmh?"

"do they know which death eaters—“ you sat up suddenly and theo fell silent.

you frowned at him, scrunching your eyebrows together as you thought about what he was implying with that. you were not stupid, you knew that many of your classmates parent's were involved with the wrong people.

theo just stared at you blankly, while you did the same. neither of you said a word, before he tried to look away.

"what are you talking about?" you asked, bringing his attention back to you.

"nothing, i just--"

you could read the sadness and regret in his eyes. he looked like he was personally at fault for whatever had happened to your home and family.

"you think your father could have done it"

his eyes widened when he heard the anger in your voice. he watched as you stood up from the floor and walked to the middle of the tower.

"y/n" theo muttered, as he rose to his feet and followed you. he was interpreting your anger in the wrong way. "i'm sorry, i know that i--"

"that you what?" you said angrily as your turned around to look at him. "this is not your fault, theo. you don't get to think or say it is"

theo raised his eyebrows as he realized what you were really angry about. you weren't angry that both of your lifes had been dedicated to opposing sides through the acting of your parents. no, you were angry that he thought he was somehow to blame for something that had been decided before he was born.

"i don't know what i can do, y/n" theo said helplessly "i want to comfort you, but how could i when there's a chance that i'm a part of what caused your hurt" "you're not part of any hurt, theo" you shook your head "what's happening out there has nothing to do with you and me"

"but what if it has?" theo gulped and tears shimmered in his eyes "what if the war comes and we have to kill each other"

"i won't let it come to that"

"how can you know?"

"i don't know anything, i just know that right now, all i want is for you to hold me"

theo looked at you for a few seconds and you weren't sure if he would just turn around and walk away, but he softly nodded his head, before he opened his arms, so that you could step inside.

after a few minutes, you softly stepped back and took his face in both of your hands.

"i don't know what's going to happen to us, theo" you whispered as theo watched you closely. he felt the warmth of your hands on his cheeks and your touch felt so familiar that he wasn't sure if he could ever live without it. "all i know is that we will not become the victims of our parents decisions"

theo nodded and you did the same. he softly kissed your forehead, before he brought you back to his chest and just held you for what felt long enough to fix anything that had not yet happened to you.

—long story short

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: you survived a violent person before, knowing well enough that you wouldn’t ever tolerate going through that again

warnings: mentions of (heavy) violence, trauma, slight panic attack (but not in detail and not directly mentioned as such), party, underage drinking, very sad and angsty, a little fluff at the end

word count: 2.3k

the party was bustling with noise, almost so much that you couldn't hear yourself think. pansy was just handing you a drink, as you were mantaining eye contact with theo across the room.

"that your girl?" theo looked up at the sudden voice next him. killian brodery had sat down beside mattheo and him.

"almost" mattheo smiled, nudging his best friends shoulder.

"it's a shame" killian shrugged, sighing "i would have loved to see if the rumour was true"

"what rumor?" theo muttered, talking for the first time since you and pansy had left them alone to get drinks.

"you didn't hear it?" killian laughed and mattheo and theo exchanged a look, suspicious at how thei classmate was behaving.

killian stopped laughing, realizing that they really didn't know what he was talking about. "well, i heard she was a wild slut in bed"

mattheo's chin hit his chest and theo's eyes were bigger than ever.

"what the fuck did you just say?" theo asked, daring killian to repeat his earlier statement.

"well, it's just a rumor, nott" killian raised his hands "nothing's proven until i didn't test her out myself"

"test her out?" mattheo repeated disgusted "watch what you're saying"

"she isn't your slut yet, is she nott?"

mattheo wasn't fast enough. before he could grab theo's arm, it had already made contact with killian's face. blood was immediately spluttering from his mouth, dripping across the floor, when his head flew back from the impact.

"shit" mattheo muttered, trying again to reach for theo, who was busy climbing on top of killian and continuing his hitting even harder.

"you never talk about her again, you hear me?" theo bellowed. the music had been cut so his voice was echoing around the entire room. "you disgusting twat!" he spit on the floor next to killian's head, who's face was bloodied and almost unrecognizable.

mattheo did his best to hold back his friend, when killian made a move to stand up from the floor.

theo wiped the blood from his hands, like it was a few drips of water, before he looked up at the crowd of people that had formed around them.

his eyes wandered around the room, ultimately landing on pansy, who was looking at him like she couldn't believe what he had done. her arm was outstretched, put around your shoulder, as she was holding you close to her body.

"y/n" theo muttered when his eyes finally landed on you. you were shaking, tears running over your cheeks and your eyes were fixated on killian, who was groaning in pain.

"y/n" theo repeated and you moved your head in his direction. his heart broke when he noticed that you looked scared. you shook your head and stepped back, when he outstretched his arm in your direction.

everyone dived to the side, voluntarily creating an alley for you to walk through. theo tried to follow, but pansy caught his arm.

"don't" she muttered, before she nodded in mattheo's direction, guiding him and theo back to their room, where they could speak in private.

the door fell closed behind them with a thud. both boys sank down on their beds, staring in pansy’s direction with big eyes.

"shouldn't someone go and check on her?" mattheo wondered and pansy nodded.

"enzo asked luna to do that" she explained "i think she can be trusted to stay calm, unlike other people" her eyes wandered over theo, who lowered his head in shame. "what were you thinking, theodore?" her dark eyes were piercing through his skull and theo could hear mattheo gulp.

"he said some awful things about y/n" mattheo tried to help his friend as theo decided to stay quiet.

"that's messed up" pansy shook her head, crossing her arms, still wearing a look of dipleasure "but is violence really the solution? you nearly bashed the poor blokes head in"

"he deserved it" theo muttered through clenched teeth "no one deserves to speak about her like that"

"then you should've gone to snape or even dumbledore, theo" pansy sighed.

"as if they would do anything" mattheo remarked bitterly "sometimes there's only one way to handle things"

"yeah, i'm sure that's what you've convinced yourself of"

"he didn't deserve to speak his side" theo spoke up once again "i should've thrown him out the window, but when i saw y/n, i—" he fell silent, pushing back his hair and looking up at his dark-haired friend "what's going on with her?"

"i'm sure she would prefer to tell you herself" pansy muttered, an unreadable expression on her face.

"i fear there's no time for an explanation from anyone but you, if theo still wants to save his now endangered relationship with y/n"

"he's right" theo muttered with pleading eyes.

pansy sighed. "i'm not sure in which detail y/n has told you about her childhood"

"she just mentioned a few things, but not much" theo shrugged "why?"

"what i'm about to tell you, cannot leave this room, alright?" pansy asked with furrowed brows, looking back and forth between both boys.

"we promise" theo quickly nodded "right, matt?" he looked at his best friend with demanding eyes.

"sure" mattheo quickly answered.

"well, her childhood was pretty miserable" pansy began "from what i've gathered she has a great relationship with her mum and step-dad, but when she was younger and her parents were still together, her biological dad would often beat her mum when he had drank too much. y/n would mostly hide in the closet or under the table, because her mum was scared that her husbands wrath could transfer onto her too, if he'd seen her"

"shit" theo said, his face sinking into his hands. the room was filled with stunned silence, before pansy continued.

"that had been going on for several years, before they finally got help and her mum was able to leave y/n's father. she doesn't really mention him, but i think he died a few years ago. when her mum got married to her step-dad it was pretty hard for her to feel safe around him, but now she has a great relationship with him" pansy explained "even though all that is over, she just hates violence, which is understandable. and i guess seeing you like that, triggered something in her"

before any of the boys could say something, the door swung open and blaise was standing in the room. "it's y/n" he quickly explained, one heavy breath chasing the other, as he had probably ran there. "luna says she's very unwell and can't speak. pansy, maybe you could—" he wasn't even finished talking when theo had already left the room.

"theo" pansy called, trying to hold the boys arm, before he could scare you further than he already had.

in your room, you were heavily crying, while luna was trying to calm you, rubbing circles over your back as your head laid in her lap.

"it's alright" she cooed repeatedly, but it was to no cause.

"y/n" theo's voice in the doorway made both of you look up, your breath momentarily halting.

luna slowly stood up, wrapping you in the blanket, before she left the room, assuming that theo had been sent by pansy.

theo sat down on the bed beside you and you flinched. he looked away from your trembling body in pain, as he recalled the look of fear you had given him the first time since he had met you. you had never been scared of him. now he feared he had broken something he wouldn't be able to fix.

"i'm so sorry" you began crying harder. as if what he was saying was a sword, slicing deeper into your skin with each word. he tried to catch your eyes and he was shocked to notice that you resembled a child more than yourself.

"that's what he always said" you hiccuped between long breaths.

"your dad?" theo wondered softly, unsure if it was too far for him to ask, but he guessed that you already assumed pansy had told him, so he waited for your answer without another word.

"he's" hiccup "not" hiccup "my dad"

"i'm—“ theo bit his tongue, not wanting to disturb you any more than he had already "excuse my words"

you nodded, your eyes still distant, but your breath a lot calmer.

"i was an idiot" theo continued speaking when you stayed silent "i was trying to defend you, without realizing i was the one hurting you" he came a bit closer, climbing further onto the bed. this time you didn't flinch away. theo took that as a good sign.

"i understand if it's too hard for you to forgive me—"

"this isn't about forgiveness, theo" you shook your head. surprisingly the anger in your chest had calmed you down enough to stop crying and panicking. well, you were still crying but the tears were now only running silently over your cheeks. you had promised yourself to never let someone treat you like your dad had.

"it isn't?" theo wondered and you nodded.

"it's always about power, in some way or the other"

"i don't think i understand"

"if i forgive you i give you the power to hurt me again" you explained "that's why forgiveness is so important to people like him"

"he asked for your forgiveness?" theo wondered surprised.

"he always did" you laughed dryly "that's what all of them do when they're calm again. they act regretful and tell you that they didn't mean it in the way it came across. that he didn't want to hurt her when he grabbed her hair and threw her against the wall. that it was all one big misunderstanding. that he's sorry and he will never do it again, until he does"

theo watched you with widened eyes and a stunned silence filled the room once again. he had not thought you would speak about your trauma so openly with him.

"i'm not like that" he muttered "i'm not like him, i promise"

you send him a look and he realized that maybe, without the intention, he did now sound like someone you had just described.

"you know, he used to always defend my mum when someone talked bad about her. when words weren't enough anymore he started hitting people and when that wasn't enough anymore he started hitting my mum"

"i wish i could take back everything that happened tonight, i would have never—"

"it doesn't matter, theo" you shook your head "because you can't take it back. i know you meant well, but it's scary how easily you decide that violence is the only solution, how long will it take to be the only solution in our relationship?"

"i would never touch you like that, y/n" theo promised, tears threatening to spill and imitating your crying "i would never hit you"

"i knew that you would come here to tell me that" you said honestly "weren't it those exact words he said to my mum after another fight escalated. and i asked myself why she could forgive him just like that"

theo's heart sank at your words.

"love is a dangerous thing" you muttered "but trust is even more dangerous. because how will i know that you won't just decide differently one day? how can i be sure that you really would never think of hitting me and not that you're just sure you won't hit me right now?"

"i don't know what to tell you" theo exclaimed helplessly, his voice only above a strained whisper.

"i don't know what to tell you either" you replied. "i swore that i would never be as forgiving as my mother and even if i know you for as long as i do, i don't think i can just go back on that promise"

he looked into your eyes, into the eyes of the girl who had to watch her mother cry while having the same eyes as the man who was responsible for her pain and it made theo's heart ache for you.

"i wish there was a way to make your forget all about it"

"i don't want to forget" you shook your head. you could tell that he meant well, but he didn't understand. "i survived a monster, and i don't want to forget how he made me or my mother feel, because i'll always remember that i was stronger than any of his words or his violence could ever be"

"you're the bravest person i know" theo muttered with a tight-lipped smile, saddened by everything you had to endure, but proud at the same time.

"thank you, theo" you cried softly.

"i will work on myself" theo promised "i will change as much as necessary for me to deserve you again, but only if you want me to, if not i will leave you alone, as much as that would truly break my heart"

you saw the sincerity in his eyes. a sincerity you had never once seen in the eyes of your father, a man that had if you were honest, nothing, that would make him comparable to theo in the furthest.

"i would like that. and maybe we can do that together" you muttered "i think there are a few things i could work on myself"

"i will make sure you will never see me like that" theo assured "i don't want that for you and i don't want to be someone like that"

you nodded, before you softly crawled closer to him, laying your head in his lap. you closed your eyes, the strains of the party and all your crying had tired you out. theo softly combed through your hair as you slowly fell asleep to the warmth of his voice telling you a story.

maybe there was peace for the both of you in the future.

—

@mqstermindswift

—last kiss

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: theo and you spend time at the most beautiful place on earth and it belongs just to the both of you

note: this is my entry for the jinxed july challenge of @finalgirllx and @thatdammchickennugget

warnings: mentions of death

"last one there owes the other a secret"

blades of grass whip against your legs. wind floods your hair and the sun kisses your skin. you're probably hardly as fast as him, but you still don't stop sprinting.

"come on!" he calls loudly, his voice flying over the field and even though you know you're already running as fast as possible, you feel yourself speeding up. 

"i'm not as fast" you scream, while laughing.

"excuses" theo replies. 

your breath is heavy and you're sure your lungs will combust any second now, but before that can happen, he stops, turning his body to look at you. 

theo's face is so beautiful that you might just start crying. his eyes are blue, resembling the darkest spot in the ocean and his lips are curved upwards as he smiles at you. his hair looks soft and warm, enlightened by the sun. 

you stop in front of him, catching your breath. 

he bends down to pick a flower, pushing it behind your ear. "you look so pretty" he says. 

you say nothing. you just smile, wondering how he can say something like that when he himself looks like a greek god. 

"come on" theo says once again, outstretching his hand and taking yours. he walks you through the flower field, further and further than from where you came. 

"where are we going?" you ask, your voice just above a whisper. it's so quiet, you don't even have to speak louder for him to understand.

"a special place" theo answers and you roll your eyes behind his back. "a surprise i set up"

"you're so secretive" you laugh, slapping his arm. 

"and you're impatient."

you shake your head, what he can't see of course, but still. 

there's a bit of space in the middle of the big field, a tree hanging over the field and making space from the flowers around it. there's a blanket waiting and a basket. 

the place is absolutely beautiful just in itself, but theo made a point to decorate the tree and the blanket.

"it's gorgeous" you gush, taking his face in your hands and littering it with kisses. 

he laughs.

the wind pushes hair into your face, as you kneel down to sit on the blanket. you can't even see over the flowers around you. hiding the both of you away from the world, as you sit underneath a tree in the middle of a field of beautiful flowers. 

"how come this is still so..?"

"beautiful and untouched?" theo suggests, looking around. "it belongs to my family, otherwise i'm sure there would be a supermarket or something"

you smile. "why did you never bring me here before?"

he shrugs. "i brought you here now" 

you nod and laugh. "yeah, alright"

theo opens the basket, pushing a display of various different fruits in your direction. you smile at his dedication and take a few strawberries. 

"so?" he raises his brows and smiles at you. "i'm waiting"

the strawberries color your tongue red and leave a hint of sweetness on your lips. you smile conspiratorial. "i'm not telling you"

"well, you have to, those are the rules" 

"it's unfair" you argue playfully. "you're much faster than me and i didn't even know where we were going, so you would've won anyway"

he doesn't give in. "rules are rules, baby" he shrugs and you roll your eyes. he throws a blueberry at you, which bounces from your forehead and falls onto the blanket between you. you pick it up and plop it into your mouth, coloring your tongue purple.

"go on, love" he encourages when you're still not saying anything. 

"fine" you sigh. "i want it to be you"

"want me to be what?" he wonders, there's no hint of a joke in his voice, it's just a question. 

"i want you to be everything. my yesterday, my tomorrow. i want you to be forever, i want us to be forever" 

"we will" theo assures, kissing your temple softly, not able to hide the big goofy smile on his face. 

"you're so annoying" you giggle when he starts littering your face with kisses. 

"you don't think i'm annoying" he argues, while he starts tickling you. "you think i'm everything"

"damn right i do" you smile, as he holds in his movement "what about you?"

"me?" he repeats. "i don't have to tell you one, remember? last one there owes the other a secret. i was very clearly not last."

you roll your eyes, but accept his explanation. 

theo opens his mouth and you flick blueberries inside, coloring his tongue purple. there's a hint of sweetness on both of your mouths when you finish the strawberries and kiss his lips, tasting it. everything tastes better on his lips. even sadness. 

he holds you close to him, softly deepening the kiss and pushing his tongue into your mouth. your hands are moving in his hair and he draws patterns on the skin of your hips. 

you walk the way back. hand in hand, while you finish the rest of the blueberries. 

"they are my favourites" theo informs you.

"now you did tell me a secret" you say matter of factly. 

"that's not a secret" he insists. "but i think that depends how you define one. you seem to have a pretty low requirement"

"well, any new information you tell me is practically a secret, considering i know so much about you already" you shrug "and you had all these years to tell me" 

"you know me best" he smiles and you feel proudness bubble in your chest. "i would share secrets with you any day"

the field is just as beautiful in the winter, when you come visit it in thick clothes and blue lips. the wind has settled down and you get warm while running through the snow. 

this time you're ahead of him by a lot, which has to be on purpose. 

you reach the tree first, slapping a gloved hand against it. "ha!" you laugh, when he finally falls against the tree, next to your hand. 

"now, let's hear it, lover-boy" you raise a brow, waiting for him to catch his breath. you're almost a bit worried when it takes him longer than expected, but he speaks before you can question him about it.  

"i'm crazy about you" theo says, finally and you giggle. "and you make me feel special, no one can do that apart from you" 

you smile at him and hope that he can feel all the love and adoration you put into it. "i'm even crazier about you" you plaster a warm kiss onto his cold cheek. "and you are special, you don't need someone to make you feel like you are" 

"i'm gonna beat you the next time" he laughs, breathing in cold air and coughing it out again. 

whispered words and sunny days make the snow disappear. you sit in the tree, with theo underneath. both of you are quietly reading, only connected through the same words on either paper. 

"it's your turn" theo says as he turns his head upwards. 

you're not convinced. you didn't run here, so there's not really a winner. "unfair" you say in a sing-song and you can practically feel him roll his eyes.

"go on, love" theo says. "it was my turn the last time, remember?"

"okay, sure, mister always right" you give in, eager to return to your book as soon as possible. "you look hot today" you giggle as soon as the words have left your lips. theo looks up at you with big eyes of surprise and you laugh even louder. 

"that doesn't count" he protests. 

"not secret enough for you?" 

"it's not a secret, if anything it's just a fact" he jokes, but can't help and starts laughing at the pretended seriousness in his voice. 

"well, that's the only secret you're getting today, my love"

"whatever" 

the heat pools over both of your bodies, so you're again deciding not to run, when you come back in the summer.

still, you make a point of throwing your hand against the tree first, catching the short second of annoyance flashing over his face, as he did not think of doing that. 

"i'm ready, baby" you dance around him, as he puts down the picnic blanket, easily ignoring you. 

theo pats for you to join him and you sit down just as he throws his head into your lap. 

"today was a good day" he says and you nod, both of you deciding that it's secret enough.

"yes" you smile, as he closes his eyes tiredly. you kiss his forehead and push back his shortened hair, running your fingers through it as he easily slips into a soft sleep, both you and the sun caressing him. 

you don't come back in autumn or winter, not even in spring of the next year. it takes a whole year for you to return, when it is summer again and the heat almost burns off your skin. 

blades of grass whip against your legs. wind floods your hair and the sun kisses your skin. you're probably hardly as fast as him, but you still don't stop sprinting.

the wind moves the tree in front of you and also the flowers. it is soothing, considering the heat.

you reach the tree, slapping your hand against it, but not waiting for him to do the same, before you sink down in the grass. 

you keep silent, both of you just sitting, without anyone saying anything. 

you sigh, pushing a hand over the stone, trying to get rid of the dirt and leaves that fell from the tree. 

"fine" you finally say, laying down beside him and staring into the sky, that is almost invisible, because the tree is in the way. 

"but there's nothing new for me to tell you" you explain. "you can't be picky, you know? after all the time that passed before i came back" 

the silence is loud and harsh and you try to fill it, but end up helplessly sighing, before you find the words to continue. "i wish i could tell you something new" you mutter, a lump in your throat and a stone on your heart. a tear slips from your eye. your voice falls to a whisper. 

you don't have to speak louder than that for him to hear you. the field is quiet and so is the world around you now. 

"i still want it to be you" you can't help but cry "there's nothing i can do about it, my love" you shake your head "and i know that it's probably a shit secret, but i just want you to know the truth, my hurtful, heartbreaking, but honest truth" 

you push your hand against the stone once more, before standing up from your position next to him. 

you walk away from the tree, surrounded by a flower field. away from the most beautiful place on earth and away from theo. 

theo's tombstone rests under the tree for the rest of what you thought would be forever. the pages of the calender turning without him moving. you know it's the right place for him, because it is beautiful, no matter the season, just like theo was.

you'll come back for every season for the rest of your life, a hand on the locket with his photo and another filled with secrets. you'll have to tell a secret every time now, because theo stays under the tree and you will always be the last one there, no matter how fast you run. 

—the black dog

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: the war awakes something in theo you hadn't thought was even there. you battle with your feelings of heartbreak, while you try to forget his everlasting presence in your life

warnings: mentions of death, grief, pain and torture. canon typical violence. this is very much heartbreak through and through

note: this isn't exactly what you asked for but your request inspired me to write this. i feel like it was important to highlight the complicated relationship that theo and reader resulted in because of the war.

theo and draco are cousins in this.

"would you please just talk to me?" you screamed. he had been acting weird for a few days now. 

at first you hadn't thought anything of it, not at the beginning. it had started with draco, who had been strange since the school year started, staying behind when the rest of you would go somewhere or disappearing in the middle of dinner. 

you had tried talking to him, you had grown closer over the time you and theo were together. you had quickly realized that it was hard for draco to build relationships, partly because he wasn't sure how and partly because he was scared of being left. 

you had done a pretty good job at showing him that you were going nowhere and that he, even if theo and you should break up one day, would still be your friend. 

you had thought that it had something to do with his parents. he didn't mention them often and you had only met them once, during a visit to the manor for a festivity during the winter break of the fifth year. you admitted that you didn't know them well, but it was easy enough for you to judge narcissa malfoy and the connection she had to her son. the love that kept her from ever risking something happening to him.

whatever was going on with him, his mother was well informed and probably already searching for a solution.

but draco had made it clear to you that he wanted to be left alone and you didn't push him to tell you more, just comforted him whenever he would let you or pansy. 

his weird behavior had been a constant throughout the entire year, until the point where it had influenced mattheo and enzo to act just as suspiciously and if you thought it couldn't get worse, you had been wrong. 

"i can't" theo muttered between clenched teeth, and you tried to look at his face as he frantically turned away from you. 

"is it about harry? is it about something he said to draco? did he say something to you?"

harry and the rest of your gryffindor friends were normally a topic you strictly avoided when in company of the slytherins and especially draco. you didn't agree on the childish rivalry they had going on and rather just kept out of that. but now that you thought about it, harry had been acting just as strange as draco had since the beginning of the year.

"potter doesn't matter, y/n" theo pressed his hands on both your shoulders, scaring you with the look on his face. 

"let me help you, love" you tried to not let it affect you, to not let the fear shine through your voice and honestly, you weren't scared of him, but of what would happen to the boy you loved so desperately it felt like breathing. 

"you can't" theo shook his head. "but you have to get ouf of the castle immediately, promise it to me"

"what? why should i--"

"you have to promise it" theo repeated louder, desperate and teary eyed as he stared at you like you had already died. 

the threatening war had made it harder to overlook the differences between you and the slytherins. you were a pureblooded witch, but definitely didn't share the same views about blood purity your friends did. 

"okay" you cooed, taking him into your arms. "i promise, i promise anything you want" 

theo didn't leave much room for questions when he told you to get off the hogwarts grounds and apparate home to your parents a few minutes later. you were scared and confused, as you watched the fear in his eyes flame up at whatever was coming. there was something he was not telling you and it simply broke your heart, knowing that he had to go through it alone. 

you weren't sure what took over you, when you heard a familar laugh, one that was so earth shattering and haunting, you couldn't help but dash back into the castle, despite what you had promised your boyfriend, his name repeating over and over again in your mind. 

you took two stairs at once, sprinting up the tower, wand in hand and ready to jump to theo's defense. 

"you made mummy so proud, boys" bellatrix said and you wanted to throw up at the tone in her voice. you could just imagine enzo and mattheo, or what was left of them, looking at their mother, not one bit of love or familiarity on their face. just fear. 

before you could climb the rest of the stairs, a hand grabbed you, pulling you to the side, behind old school supplies. the persons other hand was pressed onto your mouth and your eyes grew big until you noticed harry, stoic expression, not amused at seeing you. 

"harry" you muttered relieved. 

"what are you doing here?" harry whispered, not caring for the fear in your voice or the intent you had had coming up here in the first place. 

before you could answer, bellatrix spoke once again. 

"your boy has surely made you proud too, nott" she giggled. "just like our draco will make his parents in just a few minutes"

your eyes went up to the floor above you like your own name had been called. it wasn't even theo she had called by the name and still you could just imagine his slumped down shoulders and sickly expression. the same he had been spotting these past few days.

harry watched you closely, as if to make sure you would keep quiet, before his eyes turned back up too. 

“do it” bellaxtrix hissed at draco, who had raised his wand at dumbledore.

harry and you exchanged glances, before he too, raised his wand. you gripped on his arms tightly, shaking your head at him. 

“we can’t” you mouthed. 

“dumbledore” harry whispered. you shook your head again, tears spilling over your cheeks. 

your eyes left harry and wandered back through the floorboards. you couldn’t see theo, enzo, and mattheo, but draco was clearly shaking in fear and you couldn’t help but be worried about him. 

“draco” bellaxtrix encouraged once more “do it!”

“he’s not brave enough, bellatrix” notts voice rang out sounding as triumphantly as possible. you heard movement on the floor, a pair of dark shoes stepping forward and you wondered what nott was planning to do, when your heart suddenly stopped beating. 

“avada kedavra” a voice muttered, wand raised and aimed at dumbledore, who fell backwards so slowly as if time had stopped.  

harry gripped your arm, your body still frozen, as your eyes stayed focused on notts shoes. theodore notts shoes. not his father. theo, your theo. 

theo had just killed dumbledore. 

one part of you wanted to scream, jump into the open and scream at him or bellatrix or all the people a few steps above you, but the other part, the unstoppable dread, was aching to hide away from all of it, to just go and never come back.

how could you ever look at him again after what you had just witnessed? would he still be the same after he had done something like this? you couldn’t. he wouldn’t. your heart ripped open. 

“y/n” harry whispered, pushing you back to hide the both of you behind some old astronomy maps. footsteps descended down the stairs and out of the tower and you felt like you could breathe again once he had left. 

you sank to your knees immediately. harry still watched the space around you, not sure if you were entirely safe yet. 

someone ran up the stairs. harry tried grabbing you to push you back behind the old things, to shield you from whoever was coming back and trying to finish the job. 

it was snape and harry felt relieved for the first time upon seeing the teacher. he didn’t fully trust him, but dumbledore did. also, snape was a far better option than any of the death eaters. 

snapes eyes jumped between harry and you on the ground, before they turned to look up the stairs. 

“they’re gone” harry said, voice raised to drown out your sobbing, before he bent down once more and helped you back onto your feet. he pulled you close, to bring you comfort and shield your tear spilled face from snape's penetrating gaze.

harry wasn’t sure if he imagined it, but he could almost see a bit of pity in snape’s eyes, when the man watched you stand on your shivering legs, only held up by harry, as if your body was too heavy to stand on it’s own.

it was just suddenly that the meaning of snape's presence painted a clear picture in your mind. narcissa malfoy hadn't found a solution, no she had found something that was even better: a substitute, someone to step in, when draco would ultimately fail upon the task he had been given.

and tiberius nott had done the same, only that he had proudly sold out his son instead of sparing his life.

you threw off harry’s arms, walking across the room, step by step, until you were standing in front of the teacher, ready to bash his head in.

“you are too late” you cried, not caring if spit or tears or anything else fell onto his robes. you stabbed a finger to his chest. “it’s your job to help. why didn’t you help him?” you cried.

snape furrowed his brows in confusion. “draco?” he asked in his normal tone, but a little bit of surprise broke through. just like you had thought. not even snape had held draco for capable of fulfilling his task.

you shook your head. slowly, bitterly. It was unfair that you had to say his name, that you had to recapture the event like a missed quidditch game, that snape had been late enough to miss it, but perfectly on time to watch your life fall apart.

you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. couldn’t even mutter the name that had been the most beautiful thing to you these past years, there was nothing left. no meaning behind those letters and still you couldn’t do it. “nott” you said. 

it was over. 

“nott?” snape repeated, as if he was daring you to finally say what you had been dreading. 

“junior” harry muttered. you turned your head at him and he looked down on his shoes, as if he was ashamed you had heard him. 

“surprisingly unexpected” snape noted, like you had been discussing the weather.

“what?” you muttered, your voice strained. 

“y/n” harry said softly and you could hear him coming closer. you broke apart from snape, slapping his hand away when he tried reaching for your arm in an unusual caring manner. 

“you failed him” you spit at him, before you stormed out of the tower, harry hot on your heels.

bellaxtrix and the rest of the deatheaters, were jumping down the grass path to hagrids hut. following behind them were draco, enzo, mattheo and finally theo, who stepped out of the castle as last.

they had probably strolled through the halls, bringing their inevitable destruction into the home you had grown to love and cherish.

harry and you had watched them from the side of the entryway, dried tears on your cheeks and the anger taking over the pain that had tightened your chest. you loved him, but you couldn't believe that he had had no choice.

killing someone was not debatable.

you had watched in susprise when theo had not been there with them, but your surprise had been quickly taken over by even more anger, when he finally strolled through the door, hands in his pockets, like he was talking a late evening stroll.

your hand wept forward without so much as a thought, gripping the material of his tie and yanking him back.

theo made a gurgling sound, briefly breathless, and it was only his surprise that allowed you to measure up enough strength to effectively pull him back. that and your anger.

harry helped you as he pushed theo against the wall, wand at his throat.

theo took a big breath as soon as you let go of his tie, his eyes widened in surprise as he completely ignored harry and only looked at you, your face cast with shadows of the darkness in the creeping night and the regret that was so evident it only pained him further.

"didn't i tell you to go home?" it didn't surprise you that there was still a hint of superiority in his voice, even if it had faltered tremendously.

"you knew about all of it, didn't you?" you asked instead.

"y/n" theo sighed, in a tone as if he was inspecting a failed task for a homework you hadn't been able to finish. "i can explain"

"i don't think you should" you muttered and you were doing your best to not let the look of helplessness that now entered his face break your heart any further. "i just think i speak for the both of us, when i say that it's over"

"y/n" theo pleaded, pushing against harry's hold to try and reach for you. you stepped back and harry pushed the tip of his wand deeper into theo's neck.

you shook your head, not having it in you to look at him, before you turned around. "do what you have to do" you left the two of them alone, knowing that harry was just waiting to punish theo for killing one of the most important people to him.

you couldn't muster up the courage to even care about what would happen to him. your anger at snape had evaporated as fast as it had come. theo had it in him to kill and snape's late arrival changed nothing about that.

the person you had loved died together with the headmaster.

everything had been lost the moment he had muttered the curse, leaving behind a hurricane of feelings in your heart, but no one left to love in this world.

you did not waste another thought for him, pushing his name so far away from your mind, you almost forgot about him completely.

but a three-year relationship wasn't just consisting of memories, but of habits too and you found yourself thinking about possibilities in the dead of night.

possibilities that you had thought to be endless before, but of which was only one left now.

what if theo hadn't killed dumbledore?

your friends were clearly worried about you. hermione and ginny never left you alone during your stay in the burrow or during the nights, which had to have been the most haunting. the time were you most experienced his loss, as nightmares were plaguing your mind and fear was taking over your senses, feeling like you had made a mistake with theo. even if your friends and the weasleys said something different.

it was the same restlessness that lead to you following hermione, ron and harry on an adventure that was trying to fulfill an impossible task.

but there was no hope left if you didn't at least try what had been asked of you and you were smart enough to realize that.

even though you were always together, the time you were on the road seemed to be the most lonely you had ever felt and you found yourself thinking more about theo than you had wanted to.

none of your friends dared to say anything to you the next morning, when you would call out his name in your dream, always asking yourself what had happened, and if he was even still alive.

your question was answered in a different way than you had liked, when your group was discovered by deatheaters and brought back to malfoy manor, where not only draco and the malfoys, but theo was staying too.

you hadn't seen him at first, down in the dungeon. but surely they had come to get hermione, bringing her back a few hours later, scarred and crying for mercy as she fell into ron's arms.

it took another hour to call for the other female friend of harry potter.

"the other?" you could draco's voice ask when you were dragged up the stairs and through the halls.

"what other?" it was theo's voice that was now speaking, fear and dread overweighing the curiosity.

the door flew open and five people turned around to gain a look at you.

narcissa and lucius malfoy were sitting in obnoxious chairs, spotting similiar looks of surprise and interest.

bellatrix was hanging over the back of narcissa's chair. her hands pressing down on her younger sister's shoulders, squeezing them as if she was excited.

narcissa suddenly seemed less content, as she heard the similar gasps coming from her sons and nephew's mouths.

draco and theo were staring at you wide-eyed. their faces pale and painfully twisted as they recalled what had happened with harry potter's other friend just hours before.

"oh" bellatrix quirked up when the unknown death eater threw you to the floor and theo and draco dashed forward at the same time to try and catch you, before they were held back by the black haired witch. "do you happen to know her?"

your eyes were fixated on the doors behind you, which fell close with a loud thud as the deatheater who had brought you disappeared.

"no" draco and theo mustered up to stutter at the same time.

you send a glare across the room. it meant nothing, those two were only shells of the boys you had once known. but the innocence had been drained from them like a well run dry in a relentless drought.

"what are we going to do with you?" bellatrix smiled, stepping away from the chair and walking around your body on the floor.

narcissa reached for theo's arm, when he was about to drag bellatrix away from you.

you averted your eyes. not giving her the satisfaction to see the fear in them.

bellatrix looked through your act immediately. "she's a tough one" she noted and her expression of admiration changed to a malicious grin as she saw theo close his eyes.

"you do it" she laughed excitedly, stepping forward and pulling theo into the middle of the room.

"bellatrix, please" narcissa said, not even bothering to stand up and stop her sister from her attempt.

"what, cissy?" bellatrix asked. "you don't think she should be punished for stealing?"

"stealing what?" your voice made bellatrix turn around dramatically.

"would you look at that!" she gushed "the girl can speak!"

"yes" you nodded "and the girl can even tell you that she stole nothing"

"lie" bellatrix giggled and you had to admire her persistence, while the playful tone in her voice kept you on edge, always waiting for the moment she would break into an insanely loud scream.

you had heard not only hermione's cries, but bellatrix' screams from the dungeon. that gave a measure to how loud she was able to scream. and how she could torture until there was nothing left of the person you had once been.

"atta boy!" bellatrix encouraged theo, as she pushed him closer, until he was standing just a few feet from your body.

you wouldn't beg for their mercy. you would die without feigning any regret. if bellatrix really thought you stole something from her, you were glad she was torturing you instead of harry, who was much more important for everything coming after.

you could afford to die so early into the war. you were of no importance for the safety of the wizarding world.

you looked up at theo. the blue of his eyes mixed together with the tears that were already spilling over the edges.

"it shouldn't be hard" you said, voice hoarse and strained. you had been apart for almost ten months and he was still creating a lump in your throat, he was standing for everything that had been lost.

theo exchanged a glance with draco, almost as if begging him to take his place.

"bellatrix, this is madness" narcissa said, a bit stricter now, as if her simple words could really change the mind of someone who had already decided to embrace the madness her sould had been corrupted by.

"oh, cissy" bellatrix giggled "how will he learn? just another step on the path he must take to be granted the honour of the dark lord"

"do it" you said to theo, ignoring what bellatrix was babbling about.

"i can't—“ theo looked back at narcissa, talking to her rather than you.

"do it!" you repeated, louder this time.

"she even wants him to" bellatrix noted, clear amusement in her voice. she was almost excited to find out more about the conflict between you and her nephew.

"she's a pureblooded witch" theo turned to bellatrix, now trying to convince her himself. "she's one of us"

"i'm not" you protested, but bellatrix ignored you, stepping forward and touching theo's cheek softly with the pocket knife that she had taken from her robes, dripping in blood. hermione's blood probably.

"i thought you didn't know her" bellatrix mused "but the knowledge about her blood status suggests otherwise" theo gulped and before he was ready to say something, bellatrix has dragged the weapon across his cheek with one quick gesture, leaving a bleeding cut.

theo looked down quickly, as if to hide his injury from you, but he hadn't missed the gasp of air you had taken, scared that the woman had planned to kill him.

bellatrix stepped back next to her sister. "go on boy, don't make auntie bella angry" she threatened, playing with the knife in her hand.

not even narcissa dared to say something.

"just kill me" you told theo, when he raised his eyes to look at you once more, wand still losely hanging to the side. "you know how to"

"y/n" theo muttered, just loud enough for you to hear.

"it doesn't matter" you shook your head. "just do it" you closed your eyes, ready for the stream of the green curse to take over your body and future.

theo did not raise his wand.

"kill me" you said loudly, unforgiving, almost screaming. you opened your eyes to look at your tormentors. apart from bellatrix none of them looked like they were particularly enjoying what was happening.

bellatrix’s eyes gleamed with a twisted satisfaction as if she was savoring the power she held over theo. narcissa’s face was a portrait of conflicted emotions, torn between her loyalty to her sister and her love for her son and nephew. lucius’s gaze darted nervously between the scene unfolding before him, as if hoping for some resolution to the madness. draco was crying and trying to swallow the breaths that were tempting him to throw up right on his aunt's feet.

and theo? theo was rather keen on killing himself than doing you any harm.

you were less forgiving. "kill me like you killed dumbledore!" you screamed, tears falling on the floor in front of you, as your voice echoed off the cold stone walls. the anger in your voice was raw, pure, and unfiltered. theo flinched at the words, his face paling further, if that was even possible. the weight of your demand seemed to crush him, making it even harder for him to act.

you were so indescribably angry. but not at what he had done to you, but rather what he had done to himself. and that in it alone was the reason you would never forgive him.

he had ruined what you had loved. he had killed the person you had loved the most and you had nothing left to care about what would happen to you.

maybe it was his punishment that he had to be the one to kill or torture you.

theo’s grip on his wand faltered as he looked at you with a mixture of horror and heartbreak. he seemed to be struggling not just with what he was being asked to do, but with the shattered remnants of the person he used to be.

bellatrix’s patience wore thin, her frustration evident as she waved her wand dismissively. “enough of this pathetic display,” she sneered, her voice dripping with venom. “the boy is clearly too weak for this task.”

“no!” theo shouted, his voice cracking. “i can’t— i won’t—” his wand dropped to the floor, clattering against the stone with a finality that seemed to reverberate through the room.

the room erupted into chaos as bellatrix’s fury reached its peak. she turned on theo with a rage that was almost as palpable as your own pain. narcissa tried to intervene, her voice pleading, but it was clear that the darkness had already taken hold.

but before she was able to mutter a curse, to torture or kill theo right in front of your eyes, harry, ron and hermione came running in the room, wands raised they started firing spells.

it took you a moment longer to get up. you and theo held eye contact, the boy just a crumpled mess on the floor in front of you. you reached out your hand and took his wand, disarming bellatrix, who began screaming.

the fight was short and unforgiving as the malfoys were throwing spells. draco was struggling to keep up with harry's quick movements and theo did not even make an attempt to stand up. instead he kept his eyes trained on you.

dobby appeared suddenly, calling you to him to bring you to safety, after he had let a chandelier fall onto bellatrix who had held a knife to hermione's throat.

you stepped forward once more, kneeling in front of theo, who looked up at you with curiosity, just hoping you would be taking him with you.

"i will never forgive you" you muttered instead and all hope left his face and heart. you healed the cut on his cheek with a move of his own wand. "you should've killed me and maybe i could've been able to"

you did not look back again as you ran across the room to your friends. you just left him there, on the ground in malfoy manor, as you took dobby's hand and followed your friends into the uncertain.

one heart shattering realisation left with you that day.

theo's gaze would haunt your nightmares. but the possibility of his death would haunt your dreams, as you could only forgive him if he didn't survive.

—twenty-two

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: you try to make theo a swiftie and succeed

warnings: none

note: kinda modern au, considering reader has a phone and a working internet connection (technology works at hogwarts in this fic)

you’d always known theo was a tough nut to crack, but you were determined. if there was one mission you were set on, it was getting him to appreciate the artistry of taylor swift. he could roll his eyes all he wanted, but you weren’t giving up. not when there was so much he was missing out on.

it started with small things—playing folklore in the common room when you knew he was studying nearby, leaving your taylor swift playlist on shuffle when he happened to be sitting with you in the library. he never said anything, just raised a brow or gave you a look, but you could tell. the seed had been planted.

you started to go a bit deeper, always choosing the right song or album for theo's mood at the moment.

you would play lover or red when you were getting ready and theo was watching you sort through clothes or put on makeup with a content smile on his face.

you played folklore or evermore during quiet nights in the common room, with thick socks and fluffy blankets in front of the warm glow of the fireplace.

he was not ready to admit it yet, but you could see that theo didn't mind as much as he used to. he never actually said something, about liking her music, but he had stopped frowning when you took out your phone and opened your music app.

one time, in the middle of studying, you even saw him bop his head along to 'you belong with me', which quickly turned out to be his favorite, because his mood would rise anytime you played it.

"aren't you putting on any music?" theo asked one day while on a walk through the hogwarts grounds.

"well, do you want me to?" you retorted, a winning smile on your face.

he shrugged. "i don't care. just thought it was odd"

you didn't miss the slight smile once you had pressed play on speak now or how he took your hand in yours, connecting them to the enchanting melody of mine.

the following night both of you stayed up longer, per theo's demand, so you could explain to him the lore of taylor swift and kanye west.

theo was pretty laid back and usually not interested in any drama, but he was kind of intrigued as long as no one he closely knew was involved.

you recounted everything that had happened between your favorite singer and kim kardashians husband. theo nodded along understandingly, throwing in his own questions at the appropriate times.

"i didn't know that there was so much backstory"

"crazy, right?" you asked, wide-eyed. "but if that hadn't happened we wouldn't have reputation now"

"what?"

"it's another album" you shrugged "it's called reputation"

"did we ever listen to that one?" he asked, recounting all the times you had shown him some of her stuff, while you had always made sure to mention what album the song you were listening to was on.

"no" you shook your head.

"why? you clearly like it"

"it's one of my favourites" you nodded, deep in thought "i never showed you because i didn't want to listen it as long as it wasn't a taylor's version yet"

"a what?"

his question resulted in twenty more minutes of backstory. theo's eyes widened as you explained the lore of the rerecordings to him.

"i guess i could show you the album through youtube" you muttered, taking out your phone "fan accounts that made lyric videos should be alright to watch"

theo and you spent the better time of the rest of the night watching fan-made videos for the songs on reputation. you could tell that he was obsessed immediately, going as far as taking out his phone and screenrecording the songs he liked most.

"they are amazing" he gushed as he recorded so it goes, which seemed to be his favorite off the album.

"told you" you shrugged, a soft smile on your lips as you watched his amazement grow. "it's not embarassing to admit that i was right"

"should've listened to you, baby" he muttered, pressing his face into the pillow next to him. you moved a hand through his hair. "i like it"

"i know" you kissed his temple. you put your phone on the nightstand after searching for a playlist of calm taylor songs to fall asleep to. "now we can enjoy her together"

theo pulled you into his arms, his voice humming along to the tunes of last kiss, as both of you slowly fell asleep.

after that night, theo added a few taylor swift songs to his regular playlists (he had different ones for different moods) and made a habit to learn the lyrics to his favorites.

one time, when him and blaise were out for a smoke, theo put on one of the playlists (smoke and relax) and the shuffle promptly landed on delicate.

blaise quickly noticed who was singing, considering your simple overuse of her music during study time with your friends, making fun of theo almost immediately.

"taylor swift, really?" he puffed out the smoke through his mouth, quirking a brow at theo.

theo simply shrugged. "y/n loves her"

"you don't have to like everything your girlfriend does, you know man?" blaise muttered "you're allowed to have your own interests, taylor swift shouldn't be one of them"

"yeah? why not?"

"huh?" blaise had been a bit surprised by theo's quick and simple answer. "you're not a girl, mate"

"thank you, i'm aware"

theo's sarcasm clearly annoyed blaise, as he threw his cigarette onto the ground, stomping it out in the snow, before he turned to head inside. "don't let it change you, man" he smirked. "you're not a swiftie or whatever they're called"

"i might as well be" theo shrugged, not even bothered at this point.

"you're doing weird shit to get laid"

"yeah, maybe if you would put in the same effort you would get laid too, ever considered that?" theo smirked, clearly amused by the shocked expression that crossed blaise's face.

"so, uh..which album would you recommend?"

—mine

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: your’s and theo's relationship throughout the years

warnings: canon typical violence near the end, mentions of the war, blood and death

note: feel free to request stuff for the christmas calender!!

theo was startled by a sudden voice who called out his name, he turned around, the book he was about to push into the empty space still in his hand. 

"nott" you had muttered, arms crossed and the surprised expression on his face when he turned around had almost made you lose it. you quirked a brow at the missing reaction. "i guess you don't even know my name?" 

"sorry" theo winced and you could see how umcomfortable he was simply because he knew nothing about the person standing in front of him. 

"don't feel too bad" you shrugged. "didn't know yours until you borrowed my favorite book for four weeks and i had to beg madam pince to tell me the name of the person who had it" 

"well, sorry again" theo held the book in your direction. "you can have it now, if you still want it" 

you completely ignored the book, until theo sighed and put it back in the empty space on the shelf where it belonged. "guess not" he muttered to himself. 

"so, tell me, theodore nott" you followed him back to the table with his things. "what tempts a guy like you to borrow a book like that?" 

"well, without meaning to insult you, i'd say it is more male literature than female isn't it?"

"you're a moron if you really think something like female or male literature exists" you sat down in the chair across from him. "i wouldn't declare sherlock holmes as male literature, more preciously i would say that most boys are too daft to even understand half the things arthur conan doyle mentions and to your information i'm taking great insult to whatever the hell you just said"

"geez" theo's eyes had widened, he found you a bit odd, annoying even, but he couldn't help but feel all the same intrigued. "like what you just said isn't an insult. most boys are too daft, huh?" 

"maybe daft is a bit too harsh, i admit that" you rolled your eyes, a smile on your lips, "but i'd say most are too impatient to read those books, yes"

"well, you're not wrong about that" theo nodded "i can't remember the last time one of my friends touched a book that wasn't part of a class" 

"that's quiet sad, i'd say"

"i agree" theo smiled. "so, now that we're on the same page, do you mind telling me your name? i feel like i deserve to know it"

"no" you grinned just as the smile vanished from his face. "i decide when you deserve to know, theodore nott" you left him sitting there, speechless about the sudden rejection. 

you never actually told theo your name. he only found out when you managed to borrow the memoirs of sherlock holmes for two months straight. 

the next time that the two of you talked was a few months later, at the beginning of december. snow had fallen and the hogwarts grounds had turned into a beautiful white landscape. 

the snow was poudry, but you managed not to slip as you made your way through it. your body tightly wrapped in layers of clothing, the thick ravenclaw scarf almost reaching up to your eyes as the falling snow hit your face. 

"not the right weather for a stroll, is it?" theodore nott had caught up to you, not exactly spotting the right outfit for the wuthering cold. 

"well, i know there's a reason you're a slytherin and not a ravenclaw, but i would've expected you to be just a little smarter, nott" 

theo looked down on his clothes just as you did. "i was actually just going for a smoke"

"in the middle of a mild snowstorm?" you quirked a brow. "i'd say it's not the right weather to be doing that either"

"you're a real know-it-all" 

"tell me something new, nott" you rolled your eyes "it's exhausting to always be right, you know?"

"i bet it is" theo shrugged sarcastically. "there had to have been a reason you got sorted into ravenclaw"

"well, as said before, i can see why you weren't" you shrugged with a grin. 

theo sighed. "another dig at the outfit, really?" 

"well, considering you're standing here discussing with me and getting yourself wet, i'd say i'm allowed to keep judging your outfit" 

"fair point" theo nodded and you were surprised he gave up so easily. "are you coming or what?" he asked, ready to walk back inside.

"no" you shook your head "you go ahead though, wouldn't want you catching a cold, who would faint during potions then and entertain the rest of the class?"

"hey, that was one time" he called, as you walked away "how did you even hear about that, we're not in the same potions class?"

you just shrugged and send him a smile over your shoulder. he was standing in front of the doors to the castle, soaked from head to toe and you had to admit, theodore nott was a (beautiful) sight for sore eyes. 

it wasn't like you minded theo's company, but you noticed how he started hanging around the places you frequently visited during the weeks to come. 

theo had it especially easy when he realized that you stuck to your routines during the week, making it impossible for him to miss you once he had figured it out. 

monday and wednesdays after class were spent in the library, doing homework or reading a book from your list. tuesdays you helped madam pomfrey in the infirmary, healing minor injuries or filling up medicine cabinets. thursdays were reserved for your friends, playing card games or just spending time together in the common room, you always found something to do. 

fridays were flexible and you often decided what to do spontaneously. sometimes you did a little tutoring, on other fridays you helped madam pince sort through books and put them back where they belonged or you continued reading the book you had begun reading that week. saturdays and sundays were for remaining homework, hogsmeade visits and drafting letters to send back to your family on the start of the next week. 

"you're not being slick, you know that?"

it was a friday and you were putting away books, when theo kept lingering around you, like he had done that past week. 

"what?" he asked, looking up from the book in front of him, a confused tone to his voice, clearly trying to mask that he knew exactly what you were talking about.

"well, i was sure you knew stalking was considered a legal offence" you noted.

"stalking?" he repeated. "i'm not stalking you"

"now, you're not not stalking me, are you?" you send a tight-lipped smile in his direction. "i do admit that it might be a question of definition, though" 

"aren't you a bit full of yourself if you think i would be stalking you"

"that was offensive" you rolled your eyes "and i'm pretty sure i'm not imaging you turning up everywhere i went this past week. and considering i didn't know you until a few months ago, i'd say that you only started doing that recently"

"well, i didn't"

"okay, you didn't" your shrugged and turned back to the shelf, reaching for another row of books from the trolley beside you, before you pushed them in a row one after the other. 

theo furrowed his brows, surprised by you just letting him get away like that. he knew he wasn't being slick, hell, he even knew that he was behaving like a stalker. you weren't wrong in the slightest and theo felt a bit called out by your words. but on the other hand, you hadn't said anything about being opposed to the idea that he really did go everywhere you did.

you waved at him, before you pushed the trolley into the next row of shelves. it didn't take long for him to follow, already making a decision in his mind. 

"go out with me" 

if he had startled you, you didn't show it. you didn't even blink at his suggestion, rather ignoring him like he was a fly on the wall, as you continued reaching for books on the trolley.

theo pushed the trolley to the side and stepped into the empty space. the next time you tried to reach for a stack of books, you touched his chest instead. 

"you're still here, nott" you noted the obvious. 

theo had to admit that he was a tad bit unsettled by your ignorance. he wasn't sure if you really hadn't heard him or if you just ignored the question, because he had made you uncomfortable. 

"you know, normally stalkers don't look so scared" you smiled mischievously. 

"i'm not stalking you, but i can understand if my company made you uncomfortable and i apologize if i have gone too far"

"you're a bit weird, you know that?"

"this is a serious topic, y/n" 

you smiled at the honesty in his voice and sighed. "do you really think if you were making me uncomfortable or i was scared of you i would continue to speak to you?" 

"well, no—"

"i'm not a child, theodore nott, i can voice when i'm annoyed, but i respect your manners" you smiled "and if anyone follows me around like a lost puppy, i'm glad it's someone with at least a little intellect"

"little intellect?" theo repeated offended. 

"you might be smarter than i thought, but you're really bad at this" 

"i know" 

"well, would you now let me sort in the rest of these books? you're kind of in the way"

theo, nodded, the disappointment flashing over his features just like a wave of water. "i guess that's a no" 

you waited until he had stepped aside and pushed the trolley back in it's original position. your hands reached for the row of sherlock holmes books and you held them up at him like a trophy. "that means yes, obviously" 

theo spent exactly three days brainstroming what to do for your date. his friends tried their best at helping him, more than interested to finally hear something about the mysterious girl theo had been infuriated with these past weeks. 

"is she that hideous?" blaise asked on the third day of theo's hard thinking.

"what?" theo raised his brows, he had been too deep in thought to even hear his friend.

"blaise just asked if your girlfriend was hideous, i'd hit him if i were you" mattheo shrugged, stiring the pot. it had been a particular slow morning and he had to admit that it would be quiet entertaining to see blaise and theo fight each other. 

"five galleons on blaise" enzo added, before theo was able to say something. 

"have a little faith in him" pansy said next to theo. "he might not look like it, but the boy has a wicked right hook"

"this is just embarrassing" draco threw the newspaper down in front of him. 

"what?" pansy giggled "the newspaper or that theo and blaise are going to slap each other even more stupid"

"take a guess"

"guys" theo sighed, annoyance already taking over the worry that was bubbling inside him. "i'm not going to fight blaise and y/n is not my girlfriend"

"no yet" enzo wiggled his brows.

"y/n, huh?" mattheo said with a mischievous smile.

"oh god" all colour drained from theo's face. "please tell me the two of you didn't hook up with each other"

"close to it" mattheo shrugged. "she tended to my wounds in the infirmary once and i could tell she had the hots for me"

"wasn't she the one who said you had the charm of a troll and the brains to match?" blaise offered with a smirk.

enzo's mouth almost hit the table infront of him by how fast it flew open. "that was y/n?" he giggled.

theo had to smile. "that does sound like something she'd say"

"she sounds lovely" draco nodded sarcastically "but at least she never saw mattheo naked. that does make her at least a little likable"

"i already love her" pansy quickly said, before draco could continue his judging. "seems like she knows how to handle little annoyances" 

"i'm not a little annoyance"

"yeah" theo nodded "you're a quite big one, actually" 

theo couldn't tell what had led him to the idea for your date, but he had known in that moment what the both of you should do. 

"so hot chocolate was your huge idea?" you smiled as you sat down in the booth across from him, the server already putting down two mugs with steaming hot drinks in front of you. 

"i saw how your friends gave you their hot chocolate packages after dinner and figured this might be something you liked" he shrugged "and before you call me a stalker again, i'm just very attentive to those around me"

you giggled as the grandma at the table next to you send you a worried glance at theo's words.

"he's harmless" you laughed in a way to assure her. 

theo managed an awkward wave and the woman turned away quickly.

"well, it seems those around you are very attentive too" you giggled. 

"i'm sorry" theo tried to hide behind his mug, feeling a tad bit ashamed at the awkward encounter, but having to laugh at the same time. 

"don't be" you smiled honestly "rather tell me something i didn't already find out by snooping around"

"you snooped around?" theo exclaimed surprised. 

"i had to get even, after you found out everything about me" you shrugged "i met this lovely boy, i think he goes by the name enzo, who told me a whole lot about you"

"oh god, no" 

"quite interesting to hear about all those things from someone who has no interest in sleeping with me"

"what? i don't—“

"so you don't intend to sleep with me?" you smiled. "don't be ridiculous, theodore nott"

"i'm just not used to being this straightforward, admittedly"

you completely ignored the surprise swinging in his voice and went on with your story. "enzo did give me some exciting information and i wanted to talk about one thing in particular"

theo was ready to close his eyes and open them back up after you had screamed and left him sitting alone at the table. he had to admit that he wasn't particularly proud of his dating history (or lack of) before he met you and he was sure you weren't happy about that either. 

"before you say something" he interrupted you, before you were able to let the words slip past your lips. "i'm not like that anymore, i was young and not interested in a relationship and just wanted a bit of fun—"

"what are you talking about exactly?" you asked, a susprised smile on your face. 

"that wasn't what you wanted to talk about, was it?" theo asked and you shook your head giggling. 

"i mean, don't let me tell you what to talk about" you managed to say between your laughter. "we can talk about your previous hookups if that's something you'd like to discuss"

"i'd rather not" theo shook his head and his cheeks turned rosy. 

"fine" you smiled "now back to my question: how did you manage to play out that prank on professor binns in our third year?"

theo's features relaxed at the simple question and he smiled, recalling the memory. "so it all started with a ridiculous idea from mattheo and me getting roped into something stupid again"

you spent the rest of the night talking and ordering one hot chocolate after the other. there was not one second of awkward silence, even as theo brought you back to your common room. 

"i had a lot of fun tonight" theo smiled, hands sinking into the pockets of his trousers. 

you had admired how well dressed he was when he had come to get you in the afternoon. 

"me too" you said honestly. "i can't wait for the next one"

"so there will be a next one?" 

"don't be ridiculous, theodore nott" you smiled, before telling the password to the eagle ontop of the door. "of course there will a next one" you slipped into the common room and away from the smiling boy in front of it. 

"are they weirder than you?" 

the voice startled theo, as he was standing in front of the shelf in the library. he turned around, not surprised that it was you who had asked that question. you mostly started your conversations in the middle, without so much as a hello or some kind of warning. 

"what?" theo wasn't sure what else to ask.

"you friends of course" you shrugged, like that had been obvious "we've been together for a month and i've never even met them" 

"well, you have met them" theo corrected. "like in the hallways or during dinner" 

"you know what i mean, theodore" you rolled your eyes. "i don't think a grunting sound could be classified as me meeting someone"

"that's just blaise, honestly" theo muttered "but pansy waved to you during dinner more than three times now"

"theo" you pushed "either something is completely wrong with them or me and i'd like to know what it is, now" you sighed, before you added "just say if you're ashamed of me or something, i know i can be a bit rude to people i don't know"

"tesoro" theo sighed "i'm sorry that i let you think that. they're just annoying, that's all"

"and you thought they would scare me away?" you smiled, touching his cheeks with your hands. "you stalked me for weeks and i'm still dating you, aren't i?"

"that's never gonna be funny" he called after you, as you walked out of the library. "fine, breakfast at the slytherin table for you tomorrow" 

"aye, aye" 

"she's not hideous" was the first thing you heard when you sat down at the table the next morning. 

"well, you aren't either, zabini" you smiled, not even fazed by his assumption. "even though theo warned me about you" 

"burn!" enzo called, exchanging a high five with pansy. 

"i'm so glad we finally get to meet" pansy smiled. "i've just been waiting to have another girl around, it sometimes gets to much with all the testosterone"

"i don't know how you manage, honestly" you smiled.

to say theo's friends and you hit it off immediately would be an understatement. it took approximately ten minutes for you to become part of the group. enzo and you had been friends before, unlikely study partners, after you had helped him on a potions assignment once. pansy was ready to keep you by her side for the rest of the year and even blaise took a quick liking to you.

mattheo and draco were harder to break. mattheo, still having a pretty hurt ego about you turning him down the year before, was sure that you were just dating theo to get back at him for whatever reason and draco was just not interested to have any relationship past a simple hello and goodbye. 

you didn't mind their antics, even if theo repeatedly apologized for it. 

yours and theo’s relationship lasted for exactly two years. theo broke up with you one day after your anniversary.

the break up was painful, the fight that followed even more and still, you held him that evening, both of you understanding the severity of your situation and the war that was waiting to happen.

“theo” you cried, rushing through the ruins of the courtyard just months later. 

you had been on different sides after all. you had followed harry potter into the war and theo had been bound to his father and to the promise the man had given to the dark lord. just like draco, mattheo, pansy, blaise and enzo. 

your friends had gotten lost in the fight and despite not being supposed to, you were desperately screaming for them. 

you ran back into the castle, not having found theo outside. you send curses at the death eaters that tried approaching you, having more luck than an actual plan. you were simply determined to find him. 

you were thrown down to the ground as the doors of the room of requirement suddenly appeared and flew open. just as quickly as they had opened, they closed again, spitting out people in the procress, before the fire was tamed behind the doors. 

harry potter, hermione granger and ron weasley were standing up from the ground slowly, black powder darkening their cheeks and clothes. 

it took a moment for you to realize who the other two people were, as you quickly got up from the ground. 

draco was breathing just as heavily as blaise was, both trying to fill their lungs with air. 

“oh god” you mumbled, before you finally started moving, your legs guiding you into the direction of your friends, falling into their arms and pressing them close to you. “i’m sorry, i’m so sorry” you cried. 

blaise and draco held onto you just as tight, not being able to let you go as they cried into your hair.

“be honest, draco” you said when you broke the hug, completely ignoring the trio next to you. 

“theo” draco muttered, knowing what you were talking about immediately. blaise and him exchanged a look. 

“is he dead?” you asked, heartbreak already burning in your limbs and throat. you were ready to mourn, ready to lose your life just like him. he had died for the wrong cause, but you hoped, heart heavy in your chest, that death was more forgiving than his life had been. 

“we don’t know” blaise finally said. “we got seperated in the halls, theo—he was looking for you i think”

“i have to find him” you muttered, touching each hand of the boys in front of you. “stay safe” you kissed both of their cheeks, before you turned on your heel, running down the corridor opposite of where you had come from. 

“theo!” you called once more, running up the stairs and through various hallways, hopeless to ever receive an answer.

“y/n” a voice called and you almost crumbled from the surprise it reached you with. hope was hard to keep and you had thought, really thought, that he was dead. 

theo wasn’t dead, but close to it. he was laying on the ground, his back against the wall, while the rest of his body was bathing in his own blood. his cheeks were empty of any colour, lips dry and almost blue as he looked up at you with tired eyes. 

“oh god” you muttered in shock, slipping onto the ground beside him, your uniform soaking up the blood like it was water in the lake. your hands touched his chest and the big glass shard that was stuck inside of it. theo hissed in pain. “sorry, sorry” you whispered. 

“they surprised me as i came down the corridor” he explained. “i was looking for you”

“you found me now” you whispered once more. 

“i don’t think they meant to do this” sweat dripped from his forehead. “they were kids, not older than fourteen, but they left and they took my wand”

“oh god” you repeated as you shook your head, holding his face in your blood soaked hands and kissing his lips softly.

“i thought you were dead” tears slipped over his cheeks and you shook your head crying. 

“i’m gonna help you” you said quickly, before reaching for your wand and using it’s magic to extract the glass from theo’s body. he was winding on the ground, the pain probably unbearable. but you had to do this in order to help him. he would heal, he would survive and that was all that mattered to you in this moment. 

“i don’t want to fight” theo cried “not for them, not against you” 

“i know, my love, i know”

the healing had begun, slowly but surely his wound closed up, only leaving behind the blood around you and the worry on your face.

“come on” you said, as soon as he looked less pale. you took his hand and he followed you through the corridors of the castle, standing next to you when you had to fight death eaters, even beginning to send curses himself. 

“you don’t have to fight, theo” you called over the loudness of the fight. “confringo! i don’t want you to fight against him” 

“i’m not leaving you” theo called back, his voice nearly drowned out by the deatheater across from him, who was screaming curses and uttering threats about theo’s betrayal at the same time. “he doesn’t mean anything to me”

“what?” you send the deatheater flying against the wall, effectively knocking him out. your wand was now facing theo's death eater too.

“i don’t care for my father” theo said, before he too send the man flying. “i only care for you and your well being”

you made sure it was safe, before you pulled him in and kissed him so passionately that you almost forgot you had ever been apart. “don’t ever let me go again, theodore nott” 

“i wouldn’t dare, y/n l/n” 

you took his hand, walking back into the entrance hall, looking if you were needed anywhere. that’s when you saw them coming over the bridge. 

“he’s here” you said, pushing theo behind you if there was really anything you could do to save him. “he’s—“ you paused, as the both of you walked closer up behind the rows of people already standing in the courtyard.

“harry…?” your voice was quiet, as you adressed the boy you had put all your hope in. someone you hadn’t known well, not well enough to be on first name basis, but what did it matter now that he was. what was he?

“harry potter is dead!” voldemort announced loudly, while the deatheaters broke into laughter. 

ginny weasley dashed forward with a heartbreaking scream. “no! no!”

“stupid girl! harry potter is dead, from this day forth you put your faith in me” you looked down onto the ground in front of you and then back at theo, who looked like he was being painfully tortured by voldemorts words. he too had set his hope into harry.

“it’s done” you said softly. “the war is over”

“we lost”

“harry potter is dead!” voldemort repeated once more “and now is the time to declare youself. come forward and join us.. or die”

your ears were drenched out by the wailing sound in your head. it was loud that you missed everything neville said. you pressed your eyes close, wishing to be anywhere else. to be free from this destiny, but you knew you could never just leave. you wouldn’t be able to leave all these people behind. 

it was theo‘s voice that woke you from your half sleeping state. the word he muttered was foreign on his tongue, but ignited a flame inside of you immediately. 

“harry”

your eyes snapped open like a gun shot had rung through the air. but it wasn’t the sound of a gun. it was harry potter, who was running and firing spells at voldemort. you just had seconds to react, before the fight broke out again, no end in sight. 

you had never thought to be happy that a war continued.

but continuation meant that you hadn’t lost yet. there was a chance to win as long as harry potter was alive. 

when voldemort finally dies, it’s nothing like you ever imagined. he bursts into the air, pieces by pieces disappearing until only his wand is left. 

the deatheater in front of you let’s his wand fall to the ground and you don’t have any interest to finish the job as you sank into theo‘s arms. content is flashing through your body and immediate tiredness is dragging you down. theo holds you as all your weight crashes against him. 

you‘re tired of fighting and of war and death and fear. there is nothing in your head, apart from the thought that you will never have to endure all of that again.

theo and you went away after the war.

you travelled europe for a year, before you came back to hogwarts to finish the school year you were still missing. 

theo got a job at the ministry, you started working at hogwarts. he proposed to you the day that you signed the contract. 

your wedding was beautiful. pansy and luna were your bridesmaids. draco and mattheo were theo‘s groomsmen. all of your friends were there. you had even invited the golden trio, it was only thanks to them that the both of you were still alive and able to celebrate your connection.

“you lost your bow again, robin!” theo picked up the little pink bow and clipped it to his suit, knowing that your daughter was way too busy to even hear him call for her. 

“maybe you should just give up” you suggested, picking up luke who was softly hitting your leg, seemingly tired of walking. 

“but she looks so cute with it!” theo protested, the disappointment sipping from his voice as he pushed the trolley through the wall. 

“it‘s no use if she always loses them” you shrugged. “what is it? like the tenth one you’ve gotten her in the past month alone? just wait until she’s older, love”

theo sighed, but nodded at your suggestion. 

“grace, robin” you called, looking around the people in front of you to spot your girls. 

“well, lucky you’ve got me” mattheo popped up next to you, robin in his arms, as he threw a wink in your direction. 

“why are you even here, mate?” theo asked annoyed “you didn’t have any children the last time i checked”

“well, theres still a few women we’re not a hundred percent sure about yet” pansy joked as she appeared in front of you. “hey sweetheart” she kissed your cheek, before she took luke out of your arms. 

“haha” mattheo rolled his eyes. “i was just accompanying my nieces and nephew’s like a good godfather and uncle should do”

“nope” theo shook his head. “you’re still not grace’s godfather, one daughter of mine has to be enough, riddle” 

“yeah, yeah” mattheo shook his head, clearly not caring about anything theo said “we’ll get there eventually”

“no, we won’t, that’s the point—“ 

“hello nott” blaise greeted, draco following, scorpius and grace behind him. you sighed in relief, glad you daughter had not gotten lost.

“blaise” theo nodded, while you went around the trolley, hugging both men. 

“amazing style choice” blaise pointed against his chest and theo's eyes fell down on his own chest, having completely forgotten about the bow he had pinned there. “looks great on you, mate”

“it’s robin’s”

“sure, keep telling yourself that” blaise said with a sarcastic smile “i heard denial is a river in egypt, y/n”

you giggled, but promptly stopped when theo elbowed you. “you’re my wife. mine” he muttered between clenched teeth, but clearly joking. 

draco took a look on his watch. “there are places we have to be, aren’t there?” he set a hand on both scorpius’ and grace’s shoulder, who were talking to each other excitedly.

“of course” you nodded, following your friends to the platform and hugging your daughter so close, as if that might make her leaving a little less hard. “stay with scorpius, sweetheart. stick together, the both of you” you advised. 

“i think isaac was trying to safe a department for the three of you” blaise told you daughter, who smiled gratefully. 

“yes, mum” grace nodded, before you swapped places with theo, who was already crying. 

“write to me every week, honey!” he declared. “stay far away from professor trewlaney and close to your mother as soon as she’s back at work”

“theo” you shook your head “she should have space to develop” you watched grace and scorpius board the train, waving as it slowly left the station.

“i’ve seen people develop at hogwarts!” he shook his head “it lead to a pregnancy in your case, tesoro”

blaise and draco choked on their spit simultaneously.

“that was after i became a teacher and you know it, dear husband”

mattheo held robin away from him, to take her in fully. “were you made there too?” he muttered, more to himself than anyone in particular.

“mattheo!” draco, pansy and you scolded loudly. 

“hey guys!” enzo appeared behind you suddenly, startling all of you. “oh no, they’re already off, aren’t they?” 

you nodded sadly, feeling sorry for the poor bloke who couldn’t arrive on time if his life depended on it.

“half an hour too late” draco exclaimed with a look at his watch. “as always”

“well you know the traffic is being a bitch” enzo slapped a hand to his mouth, before he took a quick look at evie next to him. “sorry, love. well everything’s been a b-word since jacky started forcing me to use muggle transportation.”

“i do not envy you one bit” mattheo shrugged.

“well, evie” enzo shrugged “the train is gone, but i hear that the weasleys have this super cool car, that—“

“no!” you shook your head, taking the little girls hand in yours. “i’ll take her!” 

“so get-together at yours or what, nott?” mattheo asked “gonna have to know which of your kids were conceived in hogwarts” 

“mattheo!” all of you scolded at the same time.

we’re almost there yet!! no body, no crime coming soon!!

this is the existing taglist: @melsunshine @shereadsandcries @ch3rry-lips @the-sylver-dragon @mayamonroem @allurearia @prongsprincessworld @brokenpoetliz @winterbarnesblog @mysummerwinesblog @cowboy-luvr @ahead-fullofdreams @mietlynn @maxsisly @too-efn-old-to-be-here @reverse-soe @insideoutjulie @thestrawberrythatgotaway @dvartesgfs

please let me know if you want to be added, it will be closed on october 10

⛧༺ ’no body, no crime‘ ༻⛧

IN WHICH you try to solve an ongoing mystery in hogwarts, while actively trying not to fall in love.

coming soon…

CONTENT !

pairing: theodore nott x fem!potter!reader

characters: harry potter, hermione granger, ron weasley, ginny weasley, luna lovegood, neville longbottom, draco malfoy, blaise zabini, lorenzo berkshire, theodore nott, pansy parkinson, mattheo riddle

genre: mystery, romance, horror

warnings: mentions of blood, death, weapons, murder, suggestive language

episode 001. dinner and a glass of wine

during the christmas holidays, a heavy snowstorm isolates hogwarts, leaving only a handful of students and teachers stranded at the castle. the events turn deadly when a teacher is found murdered

episode 002. no, there ain't no doubt

determined to find the killer, y/n and theo join forces with y/n's brothers harry, hermione, and ron to investigate.

episode 003. i ain't letting up until the day i die

the investigation uncovers mysterious clues, including a rune and a secret involving ancient magical artifacts. as tensions rise and suspicions fall on the slytherins, harry is worried for his sisters safety. y/n and theo‘s bond deepens as they strive to uncover the truth.

episode 004. somebody's gotta catch him out

chaos ensues when another body turns up on the hogwarts grounds. the group's fear intensifies as there might be a connection between the first and second murder.

episode 005. i think he did it but i just can't prove it

as accusations fly, y/n, theo, and hermione find a crucial journal linking the artifact to salazar slytherin. and now they might finally have an idea, who the real killer is.

episode 006. i wasn't letting up until the day he died

in a shocking revelation, the true murderer is exposed, and the motive behind the killings is uncovered, shaking the very foundations of trust and secrecy at hogwarts.

EXTRAS !

ೃ⁀➷ playlist

to get you in the right mood for a dark academia murder mystery

ೃ⁀➷ moodboards

insight to the characters aesthetics

ೃ⁀➷ extra scenes

once the series is finished, requests will be opened, revealing the insight in more scenes you want to see

ೃ⁀➷ taglist: @melsunshine @shereadsandcries @ch3rry-lips @the-sylver-dragon @mayamonroem @allurearia @prongsprincessworld @brokenpoetliz @winterbarnesblog @mysummerwinesblog @cowboy-luvr @ahead-fullofdreams @mietlynn @maxsisly @too-efn-old-to-be-here @reverse-soe

let me know if you want to be added!!