The Wizarding World - Tumblr Posts

𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙊𝙣𝙚: 𝙃𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙮 𝘼𝙙𝙙𝙖𝙢𝙨

"Three, two, one,"

The sound of the mailman's scream reached Harry's ear. The black-haired boy smirked in delight, as he and his two laughing siblings stuck their heads through the bushes of their home, watching as the mailman ran, screaming and waving his hands in the air, as a spider climbed down the mailbox and into his little sister's awning hands.

"Good job, Homer, you managed to scare that man out of his wits," commented Harry as he stood up from the ground, Wednesday and Pugsley following. "How did you know he was afraid of spiders, Harry?" questioned Pugsley as he looked up at his older brother, admiration and wonder in his piercing blue eyes. "Yes, how did you know, Harry?" Wednesday asked in a skeptical tone. Her eyebrows rose in question, as her noose braids (braids he helped her do early this morning before elementary school started) swayed as they walked back to the house.

Harry smirked at his siblings. "Simple. I gave him a ring last week and pretended to be a person from a cruise company, saying he won a free cruise to the Caribbean. I asked him a bunch of questions, where he was from, his favorite color, before asking what he was most afraid of. To which he answered, saying: "Spiders, I hate spiders". Before I hung up on him."

Wednesday gave a smirk of her own. She loved her older brother and his schemes. He was very good at plotting a plan and hatching it. Of course, their mother and father taught him from a very young age.

"How thrilling, who shall we prey on next, dear brother?" she asked. Harry gave her an amused look. "I was thinking, Mr. Tully, he should be easy. Knowing that he's a coward would make my job easier." mused Harry, before they walked up the stairs of their home and opened the door. The three Addamses strode into their home, their dirty shoes creating stains and footprints on the plush carpet in the entryway, right by the winding staircase.

"Children!" said a silky voice coming from the top of the stairs. Standing there in a tight-fitting black dress was their mother. Morticia Addams. Her long glossy hair was in waves, and her arms were crossed over her chest. Her blood-red nails tapped against her arm as she arched a brow at her children. "Have you seen your father? He was supposed to be back by now." Harry turned his head to look at his siblings before shaking his head.

"I'm sorry, mother. We have not. We'll let you know when we see him." Harry gave her a nod before trailing off to the kitchens, where he knew his grandmother would be cooking some delicious dinner. Wednesday and Pugsley tried to follow, but their mother called their names, making them stop. Harry didn't stick around to hear what his mother wanted from his siblings and continued walking towards the kitchens - passing portraits as he went.

There were many portraits of his family. A lot of them were portraits of his siblings, with a few of his entire family—father, mother, sister, brother, and grandmother,—and a couple of just his parents; who were usually in a passionate embrace; and a few of his distant relations.

Of course, there was a portrait of his mother and him. It was his favorite. His mother and Harry were sitting in the cemetery, his mother wearing her long black dress and her blood-red lips were pulled into a smirk. Morticia had her hand resting on a toddler, Harry. His unruly black hair was as long and curly as ever, and her nails were running through the locks. He wore black shorts and a white button-up shirt with black suspenders, and in his hands was a butcher knife he stole from the kitchens earlier that day. His pale skin looked sickly and his green eyes were narrowed in concentration with his round glasses perched on the tip of his nose, and a sneer was curled at his lips. The portrait was perfect for Harry, and it made his stomach tingle with a feeling he didn't understand.

After admiring the portrait, he made a mental note to tell Lurch to dust this portrait corridor and make sure this particular portrait was extra dusty. He sighed and ran his hands through his black curls before counting his journey to the kitchens. The closer he got, the better he could hear his grandmother screeching the lullaby song she always sang while cooking. His Grandmother's voice could send a man to an early grave, and the thought of it made Harry shiver in pleasure.

He pushed the doors open and smirked at his grandmother. Her hair was fizzy and in a matted mess, and she wore an apron with blood and rips, and in the pockets of her apron were bits and pieces of body parts and herbs. He could smell witch hazel and herbs brewing in the many pots and cauldrons, and on the walls were recipes and potion recipes tacked up. Dried herbs were hanging from the ceiling and the walls, and glass vials and bottles were stocked everywhere.

"Hello Grandmother," said Harry in a bored voice. Grandmama looked over her shoulder to see her oldest grandson striding into the kitchen. She smirked and clapped her hands together. "Ah! Harry! Come, come! It's time for our lessons." an eager spark was in her eyes as she brushed her white hair back. "Today I'm going to show the art of poison, something that every child your age should have perfected. Tell me, did you read that book I gave you?"

Harry smirked in response. "Of course I did." He laced his hands together and bent them back, cracking them. He was buzzing in anticipation of the prospect of poisoning someone. He knew the basics, but he wanted to learn how to become immune to the poisons and how to get away with murder by only giving the victim small doses at a time.

Poisoning is a natural art for the Addamses. And even though he wasn't born an Addams, he's still an Addams in name and because he grew up in this family of eccentrics and "weirdos". Maybe he could even poison Bradly Chiles — an annoying boy from his elementary class. He was pretty, blonde, with perfect blue eyes, and a dick. He was a bully and hated Harry. Although, he never tries anything with Harry. Not since the third day of school. Not since Harry embarrassed Bradly so badly, he pissed himself in front of the entire 4th grade. Yes, that was a delightful day. The memory made Henry smirk to himself before he shook himself awake and took in the information his grandmother was giving him.

For the next two hours, Harry and Grandmama were in the kitchen, cutting herbs and roots, brewing poisons, and learning how to cut a mandrake root the proper way. It wasn't until the shrill scream of the alarm in the kitchen did they stop.

"Oh! That's dinner." Grandmama shuffled over to the oven. "We'll continue this lesson tomorrow, Harry." Harry nodded his head. "Okay. I'll go let Pugsley and Wednesday know that dinner is ready." He strode out of the kitchen and passed the portraits and heard his family before he saw them. Wednesday and Pugsley were screaming at each other, trying to see who had the most terrifying scream, and his parents were dancing to Lurch playing the harpsichord. His parents—as always—sported loving expressions on their faces as they waltz, his mother's head leaning against his father's shoulders.

Harry's face muscles twitched at the sight before clearing his throat.

"Dinner is ready," Gomez stops and turns his head towards Harry, a smirk on his face. "Ah! Harry my boy!" He and Morticia glide over to Harry. Wednesday and Pugsley followed their parents close behind. "Grandmama has demanded that it's dinnertime," he explained.

"Oh, Grandmama, what would we do without her repulsive dinners and demands?" cooed Morticia as the family of five wandered down to the dining room.

•••★•••

It was a horrible Saturday morning. The blasted sun was out, and the birds were chirping, and children were riding their bikes outside. When Harry woke up this morning, he recoiled in disgust at the sight of the sun's rays streaming into his black and bleak room. Poor Wednesday had screamed in terror at the sight.

He sighed and rolled off his bed, donning his black shorts and black-and-white striped shirt, and pulled on his socks and combat boots before striding down the stairs. Lurch was currently dusting the house and as he passed, Harry dragged his index finger across the railing of the winding staircase and saw it covered in dust. He smirked.

"Thank you Lurch," Lurch groaned in response and watched as Harry walked down the stairs with all the grace he learned from his mother, and the confidence he learned from his father. He watched as Pugsley ran around the house from Wednesday, clutching the headless doll she slept with.

"Come back here, you big lump!!" she shouted as Pugsley laughed. Harry's heart softened at the sight.

The doors opened from Gomez's office and Harry watched as Tully slumped away, keeping his briefcase close to his chest. Harry noticed immediately that Tully's suit was ripped in a few places, most likely because of his father beating him once again at their duel. Of course, that's what Harry expected. Gomez Addams has years of Mazurka training and Addams blood running through his veins. He's a natural swordsman.

Tully ignored all the chaos around him and walked out of the Addames home. He didn't even realize that the pet lion; Kitty walked past him and into the home. Purring in contempt. Once the doors slammed shut, Harry smiled and placed his hand on Kitty's head.

"Hello Kitty, pleasant sleep?" the lion purred in response as Harry's pale, long, and spider-like fingers threaded through his mane.

"Harry!! Tell Pugsley to give me back my doll!!"

Harry let his eyes land on his 9-year-old sister. Her black hair was in braids and her eyes were filled with anger and mischief. He knew, once this was all over, Wednesday would play a dangerous prank or use Pugsley as a guinea pig for one of her newest torture devices she received from her subscription: "Torturous Tortue". His mother had insisted she'd get a membership for her 9th birthday.

"Pugsley, why on earth did you outright steal her doll?" scolded Harry. His eyes filled with disappointment. "Haven't I taught better than this? You don't steal the doll, you do something to the doll. Fill it with confetti, or worse, pink glitter." Pugsley looked down in shame.

"Now, Pugsley, give Wednesday her doll back," Pugsley sighed and gave the doll back to Wednesday before he slithered off into the manor. Wednesday smirked before walking off in the opposite direction, a gleam of mischief in her eyes.

Harry smirked and walked towards the dining room where Lurch was preparing breakfast while his mother sat next to his father's chair, opening up letters and muttering to herself.

"Good morning, Mother," greeted Harry. Morticia looked up and gave her eldest a loving smile.

"Good morning Harry, how was your sleep?" Harry kissed his mother's cheek before sitting down next to her. "Oh, it was horrible, filled with night terrors and darkness."

"Wonderful!" she chimed in. Lurch handed Harry a plate full of slop from his Grandmother's brew and he rubbed his hands in glee. His grandmother was the perfect cook.

As he ate his food, Morticia gasped at the sight of a letter. He looked up, his brows furrowing in confusion and curiosity. His mother hastily looked over the letter, reading the address and recognizing her old teacher's handwriting. She smiled softly before looking up at her son.

"Harry, darling, you are aware that we adopted you," started Morticia, as she placed the letter down on the table. Harry stopped eating and nodded his head. His parents never once kept the truth from him, that he was adopted and a mass murderer killed his biological parents.

"Well, my little snake, you have been invited by the headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to attend their school." Harry looked down at his ringless fingers. "Is that the same school you attended, Mother?" Morticia nodded. "Yes, I had a lovely time there." She sighed happily.

"The school is in England and we would have to schedule a port key to take you there, and I would have to write to my sister to meet you and house you for a couple of weeks before term starts, and you'll have to do you shopping there as well." Gomez walked into the dining room and sat down next to his wife, kissing her cheek.

"But, I think you'll be able to go if you wish," Gomez looked up at his wife, confusion laced in his eyes. "Go where Cara Mia?" Morticia smiled and looked at her husband. "Oh my dear, Harry has been invited to attend Hogwarts, and I was just explaining to him what we'd have to do to ensure he goes." Gomez looked at his son with pride. "Oh, that's wonderful! Yes, we shall have to make all the arrangements."

"What if I refused?" said Harry, making his parents look at him in shock. "What do you mean, son?" asked Gomez, his brows shot up into his hair. "What if I do not wish to attend Hogwarts?" he repeated, his voice trembling. Morticia caught his tremble and smiled sadly at her boy.

"Oh Harry, this decision is not up to your father or myself. This is yours. You must decide, and whatever your decision is, we shall support you. No matter what." She reached across the table and held his hand in hers, rubbing her thumb on his pale skin. Harry gave his mother a rare smile and nodded his head.

"I wish to go, Mother, Father,"

Next Chapter

The problems I have with HP's world building and the Wizarding World as a whole can be summed up perfectly with Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans. Sounds like a appropriately whimsical treat for a secret magical society. But, they beans flavoured like bodily fluids. We know there's ear wax and vomit flavoured beans, but I bet there are... other flavours.

And the question is, why? Why do that? Why sell something to children where there's a chance they might end up eating a bean that tastes and smells exactly like human shit.

Like, obviously, Rowling wrote it as a funny bit in a children's book that I doubt she expected people to dissect and nitpick over twenty years after she wrote it. But, in-universe, it shows that wizards just lack basic common sense. it's a wonder they made it to the 21st century without going extinct.

As weird as it sounds, I actually find the wizarding world fascinating in that it makes an eerie amount of sense: it's just not what JKR nor anyone else thinks it is/what it's supposed to be.

There's a larger post to be made but to me the wizarding world reeks of an extremely isolated and inbred society, complacent in their use of a technology they no longer understand and slowly forgetting aspects of that technology including the underlying fundamentals, neighbors to very different societies they feel threatened by for all they won't admit as much, and a society that has roots in western traditions but missed out on much of the Enlightenment/Post Enlightenment British history.

So, we see a world that's like Britain but... not...

The professors are there to teach, not go provide emotional guidance or emotional intervention of any kind with the students (read anti-bullying measures). There doesn't seem to be a child welfare or any kind of welfare system in place (orphans get a stipend to attend Hogwarts, but we see no mention of a wizarding orphanage/foster care system or money allotted to those like Ron Weasley who are poor but not Muggleborn). There are two historians ever mentioned and from what we see of Hogwarts a History it is not a modern western historical approach that's covered there. Everyone's extremely closely related and there are no actual positions beyond those a) made for yourself through entrepreneurship b) the ever bloated Ministry. They have no understanding of Muggles at all and those who claim to or wish to tend to be... grossly offensive is the only word I can think of.

It's a great satirical world of a decaying society and, most important, not quite one we'd be familiar with.

But this has nothing to do with your actual question (well, it does, but it's tangential).

To get back to the damned beans, from what we see, the wizarding world loves practical jokes and slapstick humor. Given they're wizards, serious injuries seem relatively easy to repair. If you start vomiting slugs all day, there's a potion for that. If you lose your bones, there's a potion for that. Blow off your hands, there's probably a potion for that.

What that means is that physical injuries in the wizarding world tend not to really matter. Unless you're using dark curses (see Bill's torn up face in HBP), you can probably get whatever it is fixed quickly. Which means that wizards find slapstick style practical jokes very funny.

Which gets us back to the candy.

The beans aren't alone, there are also the acid pops that actually burn through your tongue, blood pops that taste like blood, chocolate frogs which will jump away from you, ice mice that do... something I forget, but point being that we see wizards get very excited about the prospect of not only magic in their candies but some element of danger/just awfulness with it.

That's the exciting gamble of the beans. Sure, you might end up with a nice flavor, you might, but then you could end up with vomit or diarrhea flavored. When the latter happens, you can make a big show to your friends, "OH NO, I GOT THE VOMIT BEAN! OH HELLS, I GOT THE VOMIT BEAN! THIS IS THE WORST! I GOT THE VOMIT BEAN!" and everyone laughs at and with you over your terrible rotten luck over getting the vomit bean while Jimmy over there got strawberry.

It's kind of like a demented version of playing one of the first few editions of Mario Party: someone's going to be fucked over, that's just how the game goes, the delightful enjoyment of it is seeing who the loser is and lording it over them when you steal all their stars they eat the vomit bean.

Basically, you're kind of right about Bertie Botts Every Flavor Bean. They exist because it's funny, I just think the wizards find it funny too.

I fell in love

Escape || Remus Lupin x Reader SMUT

Request: no. A/N: I’ve been working on this for months. I am disgusted with myself for taking so long. Not fully edited, so probably lots of mistake. Forgive me. Word Count: ~9k Characters/Pairing: Remus Lupin x Reader, James, Lily, and Harry Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew Summary: [NO VOLDEMORT AU, post Hogwarts Marauder’s era]It’s near a full moon, but you and your boyfriend Remus are going to Harry’s fifth (5th) birthday celebration. Remus gets really turned on when he sees you with Harry and tries to control it, but he can’t. WARNINGS: face fucking, breeding kink, rough sex, unprotected sex, oral sex (male and female receiving), vaginal sex, spanking, marking (scratching, hicks, biting), grinding hair pulling, choking, teasing, dom/sub relationship, overstimulation, dirt talk [all in no particular order god I’m disgusting] *not my gifs*

A loud crash sounds from outside your bathroom, making you jump in surprise and almost slip on the slick shower floor. Out of instinct, your arms come up to cover your chest, though the curtain covers you and whoever it was hasn’t made it to the bedroom yet. Quickly, you turn the water off, and you’re left cold as the remaining hot water runs off of your body. You grab the fluffy towel you had set out and wrap it around your frame before picking your wand up from the counter and slowly opening the bathroom door. You sneakily move to the bedroom doorway and peak down the hall. A tall shadowed figure stands in the great room, a duffle bag in one of his hands, a wand in the other.

“Y/n” the familiar voice calls to you when the man sees you. “Hold on. Lumos.” A small orb of light sits at the end of the man’s wand, and you can quickly identify the face of your boyfriend of several years, Remus, from under the blue-glow of the wand’s light.

“Oh, Remus,” you sigh, and your shoulders relax. “You scared me.” You walk down the hall to him and smack his arm playfully.

“Hmm, I missed you, too,” he grumbles and leans down, kissing you.

The kiss is soft and quick, but still holds all the love you’ve both built up over the years. When he pulls his lips away from yours, you whine, not yet having opened your eyes as you revel in the messed feelings of his lips on yours. He had just spent two weeks with one of his best mates, Sirius, but he was now home.

“Rem,” you say as you open your eyes, but he’s no longer standing in front of you. “Remus?” You call and turn back down the hall.

Czytaj dalej

Imagine Draco Malfoy Finding Out You Like Him

Draco: You? A Filthy half blood, like me? 

Y/N: Sighing “I’m a pureblood Draco you know this... And honestly I also don't know what I see in you.”

Draco: Hurriedly “No you can’t take it back now.” 

Draco turns around and starts shouting: “Y/N fancies me. She's asking me to go with her to Hogsmeade.”

Y/N: Facepalms “You know if you wanted to return my feelings and let other people know I'm taken, you can just say you like me too.”

Draco: But I have a reputation to uphold...

Masterlist!! (Mobile friendly)

These are in a timeline! I heavily recommend reading them in order. From The Hobbit to LOTR (Harry Potter stuff is probs going to be below my Tolkien stuff!

The Hobbit

Imagine Y/N being there when Thorin cuts off Azog’s hand in battle.

Incorrect quotes #3

Imagine Y/N being sent from the dungeons with Thorin to talk to Thranduil

Imagine Bard showing Y/N the black arrow.

Imagine hiding in the throne room when Legolas and Thranduil interrogate the orc.

Imagine breaking the dwarves out of the dungeons of the woodland realm.

Imagine Y/N being there when Tauriel saves Kili. (Not cannon to the Pethryn au)

LOTR

Imagine the reactions of the fellowship when Y/N took the blade for Frodo on Weathertop (Amon Sûl)

Imagine arriving in Rivendell with the fellowship.

Imagine Y/N sitting at the council of Rivendell with Legolas.

Imagine Y/N sassing Boromir at the council of Rivendell (Incorrect quotes #1

Imagine Legolas and Aragorn teasing you at the council of Rivendell (Incorrect quotes #2)

Imagine Y/N sitting at the council of Rivendell while everyone is arguing.

Imagine leaving Rivendell with the Company of the ring

Imagine Y/N giving the answer to the riddle at the doors of Moria.

Imagine Y/N being there when Gandalf gets captured by the Balrog in the mines of Moria

Imagine entering the woods of Lothlórien with the Company of the Ring.

Harry Potter (Golden Era)

Draco

Imagine Showing up in Third year of the Golden Trio Era (set up for later imagines)

Imagine showing up at the Dursley's house to pick up Harry(Pethryn au)

Imagine Being on the train with the golden trio and Remus Lupin. (Pethryn au)

Imagine Draco secretly wanting Y/N

Marauder Era

Sirius

Imagine comforting Sirius (X reader drabble)

James

Real or not real? (series James Potter X reader)

F1

Max Verstappen

I'm always funny, you're just not smart enough to keep up. (teaser)

Task Force 141

Ghost, Johnny and Kyle

Just a little turned around

Imagine being on the train with the Golden Trio and Remus Lupin

Y/N: "Ah, a creepy man sitting alone, there he is perfect!"

Y/N walks in and sits across from Remus.

The Trio walks in

Hermione: "Come on, everywhere else is full. Oh, I don't believe I've seen you before? "

Y/N: "Hello! I'm Y/N, I've been quite sick until now so I didn't get to go to school for the first two years! It's nice to meet you! Hullo Harry!"

Ron: "You know her?"

Harry: "Y/N? Aren't you the girl who-"

Y/N: "Ah come and sit! Where are my manners!"

All enter.

Ron: "Who do you think that is?"

Hermione: "Professor R.J Lupin."

Ron: "Do you know everything? How is it she knows everything?"

Y/N: "It's on his suitcase Ron."

Ron: "Oh, how do you know my name?"

Y/N: "Hermione introduced us!" *Winks at Hermione*

Harry: "Do you think he's actually asleep?"

Hermione: "Seems to be. Why?"

Harry: "I've got to tell you guys something."

They all look at Y/N

Y/N: "Don't mind me, I don't know anyone so I won't say anything."

Harry explains the situation about Sirius Black

Ron: "So you're telling me he broke out of Azkaban to come after you?"

Harry: "Yeah"

Hermione: "They'll catch him won't they? Everyone's looking for him."

Y/N: "Noone's ever broken out before."

Ron: "And he's a murderous raving lunatic."

Y/N frowns

Harry: "Thanks Ron"

Train slows to a stop

Hermione: "Why are we stopping"

Y/N: *quietly* "Shit I forgot about this."

Y/N grips her wand.

Hermione: "We can't be there yet."

Harry: "Dunno, maybe we've broken down."

Y/N: "The Hogwarts Express doesn't break down."

Lights go out.

Hermione: "Ouch Ron that was my foot"

Ron: "There's something moving out there. I think someone's coming aboard."

Train shakes

Y/N: "Stay behind me."

Dementor slides open the door

Y/N: *Quietly* "Come on Remus wake up."

Dementor approaches the Trio and Remus wakes up.

Remus and Y/N: "Expecto patronum."

The Trio collapses.

Remus: "A student who knows the patronus charm? Quite incredible miss?"

Y/N turns around.

Y/N: *whispers* "Hello Moony"

Remus: *in shock* "Y/N, you-"

Y/N: "I'll explain later, Dumbledore knows as well. The three will wake up soon."

Remus: I can't believe- We thought you died.

Y/N: *laughs* "Remus my dear, time does not simply die. It diverges and creates new paths when stopped. You know this."

Remus: "You haven't aged a day and yet you are just as wise if not more."

Y/N: "It's good to see you again my friend."

Remus: "Do you know what happened to Padfoot?"

Y/N: *grits her teeth* "He's innocent. It wasn't him, he was framed."

Remus: "Do you know by who?"

Y/N: *bitterly* "By one we trusted. One of our own. I cannot say but you can guess."

Remus: *nods mutely*

Y/N: "We will talk later. They should wake up right about now."

The trio wakes up

Remus: "Here eat this, it'll help."

Y/N: "Take it, it's chocolate. The dementor, a guard of Azkaban passed by. I'm not quite sure why."

Remus: "If you'll excuse me, I need to have a little word with the driver. Eat, you'll feel better."

Remus leaves.

Hermione: "How did you know the charm"

Ron: "Yeah, we don't learn it. It's not even in the OWLS"

Y/N: *grins* "Let's just say being away from school allows me to practise spells without the boring bits."

-----

HI IM KINDA BACK, this one's been sitting in my drafts for a while but I love the idea of the narrator being in Harry Potter! Please give me a comment if you like this so I know to continue or not 🤣 HAPPY DECEMBER AND I HOPE TO BE MORE ACTIVE SOON! Till then my lovelies.