The Sance - Tumblr Posts

1 month ago
Did I Ever Tell You Guys About The Time I Waxed My Ass With Chocolate Pudding?
Did I Ever Tell You Guys About The Time I Waxed My Ass With Chocolate Pudding?
Did I Ever Tell You Guys About The Time I Waxed My Ass With Chocolate Pudding?
Did I Ever Tell You Guys About The Time I Waxed My Ass With Chocolate Pudding?
Did I Ever Tell You Guys About The Time I Waxed My Ass With Chocolate Pudding?
Did I Ever Tell You Guys About The Time I Waxed My Ass With Chocolate Pudding?
Did I Ever Tell You Guys About The Time I Waxed My Ass With Chocolate Pudding?
Did I Ever Tell You Guys About The Time I Waxed My Ass With Chocolate Pudding?

Did I ever tell you guys about the time I waxed my ass with chocolate pudding?

ROBERT SHEEHAN as KLAUS HARGREEVES in THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY


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5 years ago

Klaus: I leave the house for FIVE MINUTES to fight in the Vietnam war and this is the shit i come back to?


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5 years ago

YOU DONT KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS

ok but hear me out

dave, right after his death, gets taken by the commission/the handler and THEN they wipe his memory and turn him into an assassin AND THEN he ends up, for some reason idk, in klaus’s timeline and then AND THEN

“dave?” “who the hell is dave?”

BOOM WINTER SOLDIER SHIT *sits back in chair and puts feet up on the table* you’re welcome.


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5 years ago

tHE TAGS-

Man Klaus and Dave really are just the bandaid for stucky shippers wounded by endgame huh?


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5 years ago

THIS IS BEAUTIFUL

Theres A Place In The Dark Where The Animals GoYou Can Take Off Your Skin In The Cannibal GlowJuliet
Theres A Place In The Dark Where The Animals GoYou Can Take Off Your Skin In The Cannibal GlowJuliet

There’s a place in the dark where the animals go You can take off your skin in the cannibal glow Juliet loves the beat and the lust it commands Drop the dagger and lather the blood on your hands, Romeo

It’s finally done, and I’m really happy with the final product. I totally skipped out on drawing the rest of Diego, but! It still looks good so it’s okay.

Reblogs appreciated! Click for better quality


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5 years ago

Honestly tho, I also think that klaus was somewhat rumored, you know.

(I also kind of got this stupid headcanon where Reginald made Allison rumor klaus since he didn't know how to tame/ train his powers, but that didn't completely work, since Klaus dis forget about his immortality,telekinesis and levitation, but his ability to conjure the dead was untouched, but that's just because I'm a slut for Klaus powers in the comic)

Klaus is Rumored

I have this fic idea where Reginald knew about Klaus’s ability interfering with him dying and he “trained” experimented on Klaus when they were young. When Ben died it realllly got to Klaus, because it hit home that he couldn’t die but those he cared about could. He begged and manipulated Allison to make her rumor him to forget. She did so by not actually knowing what she was making him forget, only that it was a specific part of his training that was confined to a specific area of the house. The agreement was that if she made him forget he would stop the drugs, because she couldn’t stand the thought of losing another brother and she knew she already was starting to as he fell deeper into drugs and the street life. 

Unfortunately, the rumor worked too well. He didn’t remember the training or his inability to die, but he also didn’t remember the agreement at all and didn’t uphold his end. That’s when Allison really gave up on putting too much of herself into trying to help him. She’d thought it would work, and when it didn’t it hurt too much to try again.

When Five takes them back to the past, they end up in the same state as their past selves. And Klaus? He was in the middle of a training session he never remembers having, one where at the moment Five returns them to Klaus is actually dead.

[I actually have about 4 pages of scenes roughed out for this. But this idea is reallly deserving of a well written long fic, and I just don’t have the experience, dedication, or motivation for it. Typing it the way I just did here, I did just realize a cool way to split it in another direction and do an angsty one-shot based off this though.]


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5 years ago

Klaus, after literally nobody notices his Sky Soldiers tattoo, new clothing style, different behavior, dog tags and sobriety:

Klaus, After Literally Nobody Notices His Sky Soldiers Tattoo, New Clothing Style, Different Behavior,

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5 years ago
What Must I Do To Feel Anything? Vacuum The Void Of Space. Space Dust All Clean. Beast Creatures Mythical
What Must I Do To Feel Anything? Vacuum The Void Of Space. Space Dust All Clean. Beast Creatures Mythical

“what must i do to feel anything? vacuum the void of space. space dust all clean. beast creatures mythical and real all must be ground to dust to stay anew”

- klaus hargreeves’ bedroom wall


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5 years ago
You Know, These Moments When Klaus Is Tied Up And Theres No Place To Hide From Withdrawals, And He Just
You Know, These Moments When Klaus Is Tied Up And Theres No Place To Hide From Withdrawals, And He Just
You Know, These Moments When Klaus Is Tied Up And Theres No Place To Hide From Withdrawals, And He Just
You Know, These Moments When Klaus Is Tied Up And Theres No Place To Hide From Withdrawals, And He Just
You Know, These Moments When Klaus Is Tied Up And Theres No Place To Hide From Withdrawals, And He Just
You Know, These Moments When Klaus Is Tied Up And Theres No Place To Hide From Withdrawals, And He Just

you know, these moments when klaus is tied up and there’s no place to hide from withdrawals, and he just starts to plead and make weird promises which he probably can’t even keep. it hits me real hard every time and it tells us about his character, like, a lot??


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4 years ago

Klaus: if I died I would simply not die

Klaus: rip to everyone else who follows the normal rules of nature but I’m different


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4 years ago

Klaus Verstorbene (Highschool AU)

Drama Teacher (Don’t tell me otherwise)

German-Britsh

“Mr K”

Despises Shakespear Plays

Except for Midsummer Night’s Dream because it’s funny

He will quote mean girls on a daily basis.

Wears Pink every Wednesday.

Makes his students wear pink every Wednesday too, girls do it, guys take some convincing but they do it too.

Even the teachers do it.

He managed to turn into a school tradition. Except for the principle.

He’s the history teacher’s Boyfriend.

His door is open for the kids to talk.

Started the GSA in his school.

Thoroughly supports the LGBTQIA+ kids in his school.

He loves musicals.

“He HAd iT cOMinG, hE Had It COmiNg, HE onlY hAd hiMseLF tO BlaMe, iF yOu’D bEEn THere, If YoU’d HeARd iT, i BeT yOU, YOu WouLD’vE DoNe tHE sAMe,”

MCR is his Jam. 

The number of times he’d be seen with the Music Teacher Jamming to MCR would be ridiculous. 

Speaks in fluent German with the Mond siblings

Best friends with Ben. 

They were roommates in college

Klaus pranks Ben all the time

Which sometimes gets the students in trouble as well. 

The principle really doesn’t like him. 


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4 years ago

I be' like:

God really told Klaus he didn't like him and Klaus was just like "Yeah, same"


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4 years ago
Was Bored And Decided To Draw The Resident Trash Guy (I Say That As The Highest Compliment I Can Give!)

Was bored and decided to draw the resident trash guy (I say that as the highest compliment I can give!) so enjoy.


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4 years ago

Diego, waking Klaus up: Hey- you okay?

Klaus: I'm dead.

Diego: I know, you must feel like shit after that-

Klaus: No. I went into cardiac arrest eight minutes ago. I'm deceased.

Diego: Aw, come on- [checks his pulse] ...but... how are you talking?

Klaus: Superior training. Indomitable will.

Diego: You really don't have a pulse!

Klaus: Just adrenaline and rage keeping me going. Also, military grade Adderall.


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