The Architect - Tumblr Posts

When You are a Parry God in Elden Ring

But it's The Architect vs Sung Jin Woo

Edit: Actually, this works with any of the Holy Trinity and their enemies.

INTJ - The Architect 🖤

As an urban planner by profession I devour this content and absolutely love it <3

For a prompt, if you want, perhaps the architect/constructor encountering the worst enemy of all, bureaucracy (in any context, pre or post antihero days)

(Original story for context: Here)

I love and hate you for this prompt. Love, because it's a great idea. Hate, because I am not an urban planner myself. I had to actually use my brain and google things to figure out city government positions and steps a construction project would go through. I'm pretty sure that I still got things wrong, though, because I have a mind like a spaghetti strainer. You might be disappointed or found out I wrote something stupid, or missed out on a crucial detail. If so, I hope you can still somewhat enjoy the story.

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You’d gotten used to recreating cities. This, though. This was your proudest achievement yet: a design of your own.

Not the best design you’d ever make, but smart and practical considering how young you were. And, as much of your work would end up being, it was strictly problem based.

The problem: New Houston had been devastated by hurricanes in the past. There were areas of the city particularly weak to it, haphazardly rebuilt as quickly and cheaply as possible. And hurricanes were only going to get worse and worse in the coming decades

The solution: the first city redesign you'd ever made. 

You had talked to people in the area and listened to a variety of experts: environmental scientists, material engineers, everyone who could have any insight. You had revised it several times, and landed on a design that most people agreed on. Your fantastic hurricane resistant city plan, with ample public transport solutions to allow evacuations from even the most vulnerable districts.

Now, of course, there was only the matter of getting the city to agree to it.

A simple matter, you thought. It would save lives. It would make the city a more livable place. With your powers, you could massively cut down any labor costs of the project. You were willing to do it for free, too, though Sandy tried to scold you for starting off with that offer.

So you submitted your plan.

"Alright," said the man behind the desk. "We can get this process started right away."

"Okay great," you said. "When can I start?"

He laughed. “Well, we need to run it by the Office of Finance first. Among other offices. We need to make sure that it's not going to cause more problems."

"But I talked to--"

Before you could rattle off every expert you had gotten to give their stamp of approval on the project's safety, Sandy stopped you.

"Kid," she said. "That's all informal approval. These things need to be officially signed off on."

"But Dr. Hansen said--"

"It's part of the process," Sandy said, soothingly. "Even if it's a good design, the city council can't know that without running it by their own people, right?"

"Right..." you said.

"I know you're impatient," Sandy said. "But these things are part of a system that exists to catch bad ideas from getting through. Just trust the process, alright?"

So you did.

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Email from Richard Cunningham,  Planning Director in New Houston at the time, to the Deputy Mayor. Honestly it's just what I need, some idiot breathing down my neck to spend a bunch of money on the shittiest part of this dump, with the shittiest people living in it. It would probably do the whole world some good if a hurricane wiped the lot of them out. It would stop the drain on the budget that all the welfare is costing us, at least. It'd probably up the Governor's chances of re-election, too, given how that block tends to do in the polls.

Here is what you do: nothing, as nicely as possible. Be helpful, act like we're all for it--Constructor has already talked up the stupid project to enough media outlets that if we trash it we'll have to wage a PR war against the lovely Ms. Cassandra White, who is an absolute shark. We don't need any of that.

Just keep delaying. It's not us, it's all these unforeseen circumstances that we can't possibly control getting in the way.

The public safety division will probably drool all over this stupid plan, especially with that liberal idiot running the show over in that department. So here's what you do: pile up as much work as possible on the safety committee, cut their hours, and pressure them to look at every single other item on the list they have first.

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It was months before the project limped over the first hurdle of the approval process.

"It shouldn't have taken that long," you said

"These things take time," Sandy said. "There is a lot of work that needs to be done by these branches."

"When can we start, then?" you asked.

Sandy’s assistant sort of laughs at you. "Not much of a polisci type, are you?"

You blinked. "What?"

"There's a bunch of different departments that need to agree on it first," the man explained. "It's okay, my kid's studying engineering and he's just like you. All this stuff is a big blind spot, huh? It always takes ages to agree on things like this."

"Well..." you swallowed some frustration. "As long as we can get it all done before hurricane season."

So the project got sent to the next committee, and you waited.

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Email from Mr. Cunnigham to R.J Green, Land Use Administrator. So I hear that you got that headache of a Constructor project sent over to you guys?

Email from R.J Green to Mr. Cunnigham Apparently so. But it needs my sign off before it goes anywhere, and I've just had the hardest time finding the paperwork on it. My memory's been slipping these days.

Email from Mr. Cunnigham to R.J GreenWell, what a shame. I'm sure it will turn up eventually. Also, remind me to buy you a drink sometime.

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The last one--and the longest one--ended up being the Office of Finance.

They told you it would be 2-3 weeks to review it. A month later, you emailed the Finance Director.

"There were urgent matters that the budget committee had to address first, so we have not looked at it yet but we are putting it on the agenda for the next meeting."

You waited for the next meeting. You heard nothing back.

"Apologies, but it seems there was a clerical error. Somehow it never showed up on the meeting agenda. We will address it next time."

And then the committee had to take extra sessions to review it due to concerns about where the money would come from. And then they said they needed to send it back to zoning and get another expert opinion on the long term effects of such a plan before deciding to put money into it.

"But we already got--"

"It is important for them to be absolutely sure," Sandy said. "It's a big redesign, and if something goes wrong it would look bad for all of them. It's natural that they'd be cautious."

So you ran around to get the second opinion from the specific expert they mentioned. And you did.

Not that it mattered, because by the time that you got it, a record-breaking hurricane leveled the city.

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Excerpt from an opinion piece titled "So What Happened to the New Houston Redesign?" written by Albert Jackson, member of the Heritage Foundation.

Now the thing is, every puffed up intellectual agreed the plan was great. Of course they did. I'm sure it was, when you're sitting at a desk in a university. 

But the new city isn’t going to pop up overnight, already built and with all of the kinks ironed out. You have to deal with the chaos, cost, and risk that comes with implementation. It would be a massive drain on the budget, and redesigning the whole city would put businesses on hold for weeks. Just think of all the small businesses that would never recover from the ordeal, and all of the people who’d lose out on their income.

There’s a reason things are the way they are, and sometimes it’s best to leave things be.

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You were on site, removing dangerous rubble and unearthing bodies, when they told you you’re expected to rebuild the city exactly as it was before. 

You flew into a rage. You yelled, and kicked, and threw heaps of scrap metal on the ground. You paced around and ranted. You picked up a severed arm that you had unearthed moments before and threw it at the poor messenger’s feet. 

“I’ll fill Cunningham’s house with all of the bodies I’ve found here–” you screamed. “Before I put this place back the way it was!” 

But you didn’t. Because Sandy ran out into the rubble after you when she heard, and calmed you down. You cried a little when she hugged you, because you had been working on your feet for twelve hours, and so many people had died, and you were so young.

“Good thing there weren’t any cameras around,” she told you afterwards. “And you didn’t use your powers to threaten anyone.”

“Maybe I should have,” you said.

"I know it's hard," she said. "But it's for the best. Acting angry: yelling, shouting, lashing out with your powers--that threatens people. And we don't live in a country where things are settled by threats and force. We settle things with the democratic process. Only villains threaten people to get their way, and the last thing you want to do is make anyone look at you and see anything close to a villain."

"But I did everything right," you said. “And they didn’t listen.”

"I know, I know," she tells you. "But when you look like a villain, people stop listening to you forever."

At the time it made sense. So you believed it. 

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January 14th, 202X

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Excerpt from a recording of a mayoral staff meeting held by Mayor Cunnigham, after getting elected due to his previous experience as Planning Director.

[Shuffling papers, typing, and occasional sound of footsteps.]

MAYOR CUNNIGHAM

--latest policy to the public. We need to pay off the city's debt, and so--

[A blast. Floor boards snap. walls crumble. People scream and run. A stones slam, and the people’s screams deaden as if every wall and window has closed in.]

DEPUTY MAYOR

Oh god, oh god--

DIRECTOR OF COMMUNICATIONS

Let us out! 

THE ARCHITECT

Is everyone alive, then?

[The second the Architect speaks, everyone goes quiet except for some gasping. The Architect's voice is booming and metallic, almost as though being amplified via a microphone from inside of the helmet the Architect has been seen wearing during confrontations with the police.]

CYBERSCOUT

Gimme a sec. Quick headcount-- Yep, looks like we got everyone in here and in one piece.

MAYOR CUNNIGHAM

You! Let us out immediately!

THE ARCHITECT

That won't be happening.

EXECUTIVE AIDE

What are you going to do to us?!

THE ARCHITECT

This isn't about doing anything to you. This is about what we all will do for the people of this city.

MAYOR CUNNIGHAM

If you think a single person here believes any of this is for the good of "the people" and not about your sick ego--

THE ARCHITECT

Mr. Mayor.

[Bonfire doesn't say anything, but there is a signature sizzle and the sound of flame indicating her presence. Mayor Cunnigham stops talking.]

THE ARCHITECT

Thank you. Now, I would like to talk to you about the city redesign plans. Which I proposed more than a decade ago now, and see you have not made progress at implementing.

MAYOR CUNNIGHAM

Because they were never approved, you–

THE ARCHITECT

I have since amended the plans. However, I have made modifications for accessibility. There are now safer pedestrian spaces, with particular emphasis on wheelchair accessibility. Areas have been modified so that a new light rail connects the wealthier districts with the “red line” ones. Also, all of the low bridges that made it impossible for buses to reach these parts of the city will be rebuilt to allow better movement by people who cannot afford cars.

MAYOR CUNNIGHAM

You're not fucking serious. You can't be rattling all of this--politically correct bullshit at me while you have a literal terrorist standing right there ready to fry us all!

THE ARCHITECT

I can't? (Pause) What about the current situation isn't registering, Mr. Mayor?

[Some of the villains snicker.]

THE ARCHITECT

Anyway, we have made arrangements for the city redesign to happen effective immediately.

MAYOR CUNNIGHAM

What? (Pause) You... no, you'd have to move the entire population out first, and house them, and then--that's too much to organize in such a short amount of time, too much cost--

THE ARCHITECT

We actually already have a plan to deal with all of that. It’s really only the residents of the poorer areas that will need to be housed during construction, since the wealthy areas won’t be affected so much that they will have to evacuate. The we will move residents of the districts being worked on to the--Grand Diamond?

CYBERSCOUT

Diamond Deluxe Resorts.

THE ARCHITECT

Yes. Funny how people are always talking about a lack of housing while so many hotels and resorts sit there, empty rooms just waiting to be filled... but that's off topic. We've already made arrangements for all members of the city to be moved immediately to the resort while I restructure everything and my friends help me add the finishing touches.

SENIOR DEPUTY MAYOR

"Friends."

EXECUTIVE AIDE

The people there haven't agreed to this! You'll be uprooting people from their homes--even if it's a good plan, you can't--you need the people's consent!

THE ARCHITECT

(Audibly smiling) What a good point. (Turns, armor can be heard shifting) What's your name?

EXECUTIVE AIDE

I... Uh... D-Destinee...

THE ARCHITECT

(Turning, again) You'd probably get along with Bonfire, over there. She said the exact same thing, you know. Right when I was ready to just go and do all of this. Helping people without their consent is... what did you call it?

BONFIRE

A shitty idea. (Pause) And also paternalism.

THE ARCHITECT

Exactly. Which is why we did research and found out that people have still been petitioning for these changes to be made, and also we went around polling to see how many people in the area would be willing to be temporarily relocated in order to allow for construction to happen. I even talked to some people in the community and the new changes are based on their explicit feedback.

But I am glad that someone in this room immediately thought of it.

MAYOR CUNNIGHAM

And what are you going to--you clearly aren't asking for my approval. What are you here for?

THE ARCHITECT

Just to have you make the appropriate announcements to let everyone know that the area will be evacuated in order to make repairs. You will sign the order, make the announcement, and stay in here guarded by my friends until the plan has been enacted.

MAYOR CUNNIGHAM

....I'll tell everyone that I've been kidnapped. They'll bring in the police--the National Guard, if that's not enough.

THE ARCHITECT

I suggest you first consider whether the budget can afford replacing the entire city police force. 

[The entire room goes dead silent.]

Perhaps you should run it by the Office of Finance first. 

[Mayor Cunnigham takes a sharp breath. There is a long moment before he breaks.]

MAYOR CUNNIGHAM

Fine. I-I'll do it.

THE ARCHITECT

I'm glad to hear it.

MAYOR CUNNIGHAM.

But you can't--I know you won't be keeping us forever. And the second you're gone--I'll tell everyone. And I'll have every bit of your fucking charity redesigns right back down and put up the way it should have stayed.

[Pause. A heavy step as the Architect moves. The Mayor audibly cringes.]

THE ARCHITECT

You're right. I can't stay. I can't determine what will go on in this city forever. I suppose if you, and the people here, decide to bring down what I've built then I can't stop you.

But they'll know it was done. They'll know it can be done again. They’ll know what it was like to live in a place designed to shield them and raise them up.  And you won't be able to tear down the memory. Now, the paperwork.

[Recording ends.]

Some misc thoughts on the Architect in Awakening

I haven’t quite finished DAA yet (though I generally know what happens in it) but anyway:

– Why does the Architect seem so interested in the Warden specifically? Like he’s kidnapped/experimented on/killed other wardens recently, but HoF is particularly sought? Why? Is it just their combat and leadership ability that makes them a good potential ally (though if alliance is his only goal, why risk antagonizing them by kidnapping and experimenting on them in the first place)? Or is it something deeper, like because they killed the Archdemon and survived? In general, their blood should be no different from that of other wardens … right?

– What exactly did the Architect do to the Warden? Ngl, it freaked my Tabris out to come to and hear him say her wounds had been healed when she had no wounds when she was captured. This could just be a general comment because the game assumes the Warden had some wounds when captured, but eugh. Nightmare fuel.

– It’s kind of cute that the Architect wears his gold mask for his meeting with the Warden. Like, the cognitive dissonance of “Hi, I’ve abducted you and I have the appearance of an eldrich horror no matter what but I want to look my best for it.”