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October 1, 2008

Despair.

When despair felt like the best alternative to happiness, it was easier said than done to try and improve. The world was how it was going to be and there was very little I could do to change it… let alone the circumstance I was put inside.

Assistance was something I could only hope for.

Friendship wasn’t likely.

Love isn’t common.

Life never played in my favor. Almost like some story being written as the days went on—nothing was planned, just improvised for someone else’s enjoyment.

All the despair I feel from a life not lived has caught up. This life should have control, maybe I should try after so long.

Today will be the day

I just really don't have anyone to talk to about this stuff, so I figured to share it here and just get it out there 😅

Long post inbound

Original Ideas

1. The Dark Moon

I wrote around three chapters for this already, but nothing more.

Following an aristocrat in the gothic era named Vusha, he is searching for someone who can cure an ailment of his. He goes through several wives, all of who do not resolve his issue. Yet, on his most recent courting, this woman seems to know everything about his ailment and even scoffs in the face of the danger it may bring her.

Excerpt:

"Who are you?" Vusha yelled while holding Cassie in his arms.

Her limp body fell against his and Vusha only hoped she was still alive. His grip on her limp body only got tighter as he hoped she would awaken soon.

The figure in front of him didn't appear as any man Vusha ever saw. His skin was pale and the unkempt bang of hair rested right over his eye hiding most his face, but Vusha couldn't shake the animalistic feeling he had. Almost as if the person in front of him were like himself.

"Cassie... what's she gotten herself into this time?"

"Who are you!" Vusha repeated his earlier question, this time with a more stern voice.

The pale figure looked at him. "I'm Curil and I need to see her."

Vusha's grip on her only tightened and he pushed further away from Curil, desperately keeping Cassie away from him.

"Why would I relinquish her to someone who hasn't explained their purpose here?"

"I'm not taking her." Curil began calmly. "I need to be sure she's not dead as it is not her time yet."

Vusha's brows furrowed. "What?"

"With your affliction--as well as what you know to be true in your reality--I trust you'll believe me when I say I am a Grim Reaper."

Examining his features, Vusha couldn't help but feel this was the truth. Unlike the images of skeletal figures in dark robes, this man just looked undead. Like life had never graced him and death was all he knew.

Vusha eased a bit. "I thought reapers were to show when someone's time is nigh?"

"Not in her case." Curil walked over and crouched, he maintained a distance however. "This young woman is afflicted--much like yourself--only in her case with something she cannot hope to control. This woman doesn't have a guardian angel, she has me to watch over her."

Vusha felt his ears deceived him. He looked at Curil's stern face and found no falsehood on him or within his voice. Vusha looked down to Cassie, seeing her soundly resting in his arms. Curiosity overtook him and he spoke up.

"Why would she have a reaper guarding her?"

"Because, it is my job to be sure she only perishes the way she's supposed to. An angel would protect her from the harm itself, but the danger she attracts will find her one way or another." Curil paused. "Now, will you let me see her?"

Vusha groaned softly. He didn't want to just hand Cassie over, not knowing if Curil could be trusted or not, but it seemed too far-fetched to be a lie.

Vusha glared at Curil and gently rested Cassie onto the ground, he stayed between them....

2. Orange Perfect

This is a SUPER old idea that's complete but not edited for reading. I recently got back into it, not fully, but I came up with something I found interesting.

I try to have as much representation in my stories as humanly possible and wanted an internal struggle with a young man coming to terms with his sexuality. I'll say right now that as a cis het woman, I cannot portray it exactly, but I did my best and I hope not to downplay any real struggles associated.

The story is basically a coming of age for three characters: my MC Cassie, (she's usually my MC), and my two secondary MCs Shay and Lucius. They each struggle with different issues, but they help each other come to terms with their changing world.

Excerpt (aka the part I was gonna add):

"I don't know." Shay began. "I guess I don't know what I want anymore... how to feel... or what I should be feeling."

Cassie listened to him and said nothing, she remained looking at him and spoke after a second of silence.

"Maybe... It's not that you don't know, but you don't wanna say it?"

Shay looked at Cassie and seeing her expression, he scoffed and shook his head.

"You know, you're really easy to read and I'm not gay." His eyes rolled in annoyance.

"No one said you were. Maybe, you just don't feel comfortable in a certain role you have... well, a role you feel like you have to fulfill." Cassie paused with a sigh. "And anyways, no matter what's true about you, that's not a bad thing. You're you and every little thing that goes into making that--who you are--is beautiful, no matter what it is or who has something to say about it."

Shay scoffed. "Even if it was true, what do you know about anything like that? You, a girl, who's okay with being one."

Cassie's head shook. "Who said that?"

Shay narrowed his eyes. "It's obvious."

"Yeah, maybe because otherwise no one would care to put up with me." Cassie looked off. "I won't say how I feel is comparable by any means, but it's no less valid." Cassie gripped her hands together as she spoke. "When you feel like a girl, but have dreams people say are for boys... it gets to you. You don't know who would even want to deal with you and you change to fit one mold, but it... It never quite feels right."

Shay swallowed hard before saying, "is that why... you liked Lucius?"

Cassie hid her face. "Yeah." Taking a sharp breath, it seemed like she wasn't going to say anything else...

3. Manifested Malevolence

This is a somewhat old story I just never got around to finishing. It has ~10k and I do have the whole thing planned, but I'm kind of lazy when I have no motivation 😅

So, it's a dystopia where my two MCs, Curil and Cassie, run into each other. Hoping to work together, Curil finds it hard to simply trust her right away, especially with all the strange happenings that only occured when they ran into each other.

Excerpt:

Curil turned back as he supported her escape out the window. With the water gushing, his gaze snapped back. The pipes were bursting in other places and he couldn't tell how many more would burst, so they needed to move and move fast.

Curil returned to looking at Cassie and she had gotten mostly out of the way, so Curil hurried himself to the window sil and stood up pressing his back tightly against the outside wall of the building.

Cassie was just standing there, unable to move any further. She was gripping the wall tightly and made no effort to even open her eyes. Curil tried to look past her and saw there was another building right beside the one that was currently filling with water. He knew Cassie wasn't going to open her eyes, so he just spoke.

"Okay, Cassie?" She shook her head. "Just listen to me. There's a building we might be safe in, so let's go there."

Cassie said nothing and just remained holding tightly to the wall.

Curil sighed. "Cassie, come on, I know you can do this! All you have to do is move to your left." Curil began to hear the water pouring out of the windows. When he looked back, Cassie was slightly moving. "Good job Cassie!"

He encouraged her and started to move himself. He got close enough to her and kept giving her words of encouragement. Soon, they reached the edge of the building and when Cassie's hand felt the corner she let out a gasp and opened her eyes.

"W-where do I go!" Her voice shook.

"Relax, Cassie, you might fall and you don't want that do you?" Her head shook furiously. "Okay then, I saw a balcony on the edge of that building. Do you see it?"

She nodded. "Y-yeah, I s-see that."

"Okay, think you can jump to it?"

"J-jump to it?" She shook her head. "No, I can't do that!"

"Cassie, come on! I know you can and being out here is dangerous! Just try it, we should be close enough to do so."

Cassie remained against the wall, unmoving. Curil looked back, seeing more water pouring out of the window. He looked back to Cassie and saw her still standing there. Curil didn't know what else he could do.

"Forget it... This is why I was better alone."

Curil mumbled that and started to sidle against the wall the other way, he figured he'd find something else he could climb down on.

Cassie's breath turned ragged and she tried to speak. Not only did the wind take her breath away, her throat was horse. Cassie looked back to the balcony and took a deep breath. She shut her eyes tight and took yet another breath.

"It's okay... it's okay... it's okay... it's... okay!" Cassie pushed herself off the building and screamed as she fell to the balcony.

When she landed, she roughly tumbled before slamming into the other side of the balcony wall.

Groaning, she just lay barely moving on the floor...

4. Siren's Call

I just fell in love with a character I made and wanted to work on this sequel ☺

I don't wanna spoil anything in case I ever decide to post the 1st story. Lmk, if you're interested, it's actually done, but I'm finishing some beta reader edits.

So, in the previous story, an event took place and things are a little different than usual, mainly that Demons seem to be the ones trying to help Humans.

Excerpt:

"This world makes it so individuals are less intelligent because they lack education thanks to a worthless currency. Regardless of it's value, nothing can beat the desire for knowledge."

"But you're a teacher," Akuma said with a smirk.

"I can do very little to change the institutions already agreed upon--or shall I say unchallenged?--that is why I give free lessons and dedicate my time to students who want to pursue higher forms of education, not just this corporate cash grab sullying the pursuit of knowledge."

"So, with talk like that, you're not worried about someone thinking your a Demon?"

He scoffed. "Even if they did, Humans perceive what they want to, not what's actual fact. So if I appear to be a Demon, only those who want to see me as one will. I could bear down my dark attachments, lose the soul in my eyes and some will still advocate for me. That is the nature of Humans."

Dia may have looked different, but he still was the same Demon he always was.

"I guess I see what you mean... But, why are you here?" Akuma asked.

"Isn't it obvious? To protect Cassie's interest. Not many have it in mind and I'll be dammed it I allow another tragedy to happen while I'm alive."

I also drew for a lot of some of my other stories! Many of my characters have finalized designs and I love how they came out!

Fanfiction

1. The Tangled Choice

Fandom: Ace Attorney

So, I wrote three stories about Van Zieks 'cause I got obsessed with him after DGS.

Also, I'll just put a *Spoiler Warning* in case you didn't play the games. I don't really spoil anything, but just in case, feel free to skip this one.

I really like his solo stories, but I also like this one too!

This story is a love triangle between my OC/MC Cassie, Van Zieks and Asogi. I always love the "gentlemen duel" where two individuals work for the heart of the one they love. Cassie is ditzy in this story and doesn't even realize they're fighting over her, so it's now two tasks instead of one.

Excerpt:

Cassie nodded. "I did get a bit carried away, that's like me though."

Barok smiled a bit. "That it is."

Asogi then stood up. "Since it's late, I'll accompany her back home."

Barok just looked at the him without a word. It was more of a scowl than anything.

"Oh, thank you! I know Barok may have work he must see to, so I apologize for taking up your time." She got up. "Actually, I didn't ask how you two know each other."

Asogi smiled. "Perhaps I can inform you on the walk home?"

She giggled. "Sounds wonderful."

"Then we shall see to it... but, do you mind if me and Lord Van Zieks speak for a moment?"

"It's no problem. I'm fine waiting since you both were so generous to me." They both chuckled as she got up and walked to the door. "Have a good night Barok!"

"You as well and please get some rest."

"I certainly will, you don't have to worry." Cassie then opened the door and left.

Once the door shut, the air of pleasantries left with Cassie, leaving a stale more hardened feel in the room.

Asogi spoke up. "I would love to ask about your relationship, but I'm sure you would want to ask the same of me."

"You're correct." Van Zieks stated. "However, Cassie may not answer the same as you. So, what is your relationship?"

Asogi let out a sigh. "There's no use in dancing around, I happen to cherish Cassie. She is a very wonderful woman and I would hate to see her with a frown on her face."

Barok nodded. "Then we're the same."

"Now I'll ask, what's the nature of your relationship? How does Cassie view it?"

"Purely platonic." Barok was quick to answer. "Cassie is a very close friend, introduced through a mutual of ours. I relied on her for the better part of a year. I wouldn't want to see her life without fortune and happiness."

"We truly are the same then." It seemed Asogi was going to leave it there, but he took a sharp breath. "So, how are we to go about this? I have no intention of just letting her slip out of my hands."

"Neither do I." They sat stiff for a moment. "How about this, we let Cassie choose." Barok proposed. "Whoever she feels strongest towards is the one who takes her heart, no question about it."

"You two have known each other longer. What chance do I have?"

"I'm fine with pampering her, even expressing our feelings outright," Barok said, "it would actually be very hard for me not to pamper her."

"Is that so? Well, I agree with the terms. Whatever becomes of our advances shall not be met with malice, however, and we shouldn't make things hard on her. Let's not fight amongst ourselves." Asogi added.

"I agree. This is for Cassie after all."

"Indeed."

With that, it settled their conditions with little to no argument. Thus began the length of their efforts to court their unrequited love in a Tangled Choice...

Untitled One Piece Fanfiction

Fandom: ^

When I was a kid, I was obsessed with Law from One Piece and wrote nearly ten fics for him. One in particular was really good (for a 13 year old) and I decided to revise it to meet my standards now.

Excerpt: “We have no food!” Cassie complained with a tone almost as if a Warlord were right in front of them.

Law sighed, knowing she had nothing important to tell him. “Who cares? Can’t you find something to make like you always do?”

“That’s the problem, I’m really hungry right now and there’s nothing for me to cook!”

Once more, he sighed. This time, he got up and stood in front of her. “We’re coming up on an island, just wait and you can go shopping later.”

She huffed. “Can I buy whatever I want?”

Despite only knowing her for a few weeks, those words made him pause. Law knew she could easily spend more than a thousand Berri just from a trip to the market alone, he learned that the hard way and felt like he couldn’t let it happen again.

“I’m going with you then.”

She giggled. “Good! That means I can buy lots of stuff and you can carry it for me.”

“Really? Is that something you should be saying so easily around me?”

She gave a slight shrug. “What difference would it make? Aren’t you smart enough to see through my plans regardless?” Law felt his mouth turn up in a bitter smirk and Cassie already turned to head out of the room. “I’ll be ready once we dock!”

Without any confirmation on his end, Cassie was out of the room and left Law as he once was. Law now needed to focus on a different task—being sure they wouldn’t lose more money than they had. He softly shook his head and returned to his desk.

Law considered this woman as someone who was flagrantly carefree. Nothing seemed to ever bother her and she adapted to the crew quickly. In her few weeks with them, she easily made friends with almost everyone; similarly she had gotten comfortable enough to speak with Law as if he were nothing more than a colleague and not her captain.

There wasn’t much time between their arrival at the island—not like he led on—and this was only confirmed when he heard a ruckus above him on the deck of the ship. He was quick to check it out and once he reached the outside, he saw Cassie nearly falling off the rail of the submarine as she impatiently waited for them to dock.

“Cassie!” She turned to see Law. “It’ll be your own death if you fall off.”

She snickered. “You act like that matters, I can save myself!” With that, she stood up on the railing. “Maybe if we could dock faster, I wouldn’t be so impatient.” From her body came large green vines and they fell into the water. She descended on her below Law’s sight.

He walked to the edge and found her casually resting on a makeshift raft from the vines that came from her. With one vine anchored to the submarine, she looked up to him.

“Come on, we can leave and let Bepo safely dock the sub.”

“Or—” Law’s finger rose and before Cassie knew it, she was back on the submarine’s deck. She collapsed on her back from the sudden shift. “You could learn to wait.”

Frowning, she got up; her arms were crossed, but Law saw the vines retracting back into her body.

“Fine, whatever.”

With her calmed, he returned to the interior of the submarine hoping to get a budget in place before they arrived...

Untitled Obey Me! Fanfic

Fandom: ^

Soooooo it's no secret that I love Levi from OM! However, I since I'm a lot older I didn't think writing a fanfic would be worth it and never did. However, I'm currently struggling with... everything in my life and got a good idea for a story with him.

In it's infancy so I haven't written very much for it, but I'll summarize to story instead.

So, that's it from me. If any of these interest you, feel free to ask me anything about them. I'd even me open to just talking too, no pressure and thank you for reading if you got this far! ❤

Summary: It was almost fate for the pair to meet--Levi didn't get his preorder and Cassie did. Despite the tension between the two at first, they soon realize they have more in common than they thought.

I would be the person who, in the middle of finally wanting to try NaNoWriMo for the first time, would get another idea that is occupying so much space I have to take some time to write it.

But as usual, I wanna share it because even tho I may write this idea fully, it might be so fucked up I'll never finish it. I mean, that would happen anyways, but this time there's a legitimate reason behind it.

So, I got this idea after randomly getting WAY to interested in Resident Evil. I've always known about the series and even watched a full playthrough of RE4 on YT as a kid. So this sudden interest of mine sparked a question in my head:

"Why do these zombie games always have someone creating a virus that mutates people into mindless creatures? Why isn't there a plot where someone creates a cure that just ends up being used nefariously?"

This was also inspired by CoryxKenshin's commentary while he was playing REmake 2: "T-virus, G-virus.... How about we cure cancer if you got all of that." Lol

So from that, I came up with this idea:

A genius theoretical researcher gets the brilliant idea to finally make something that can cure incurable diseases. Being mainly motivated by a desire to be famous, he works tirelessly to create this miracle cure.

No matter how hard he works, however, he can't come up with anything practical enough to work. So, he ends up turning to someone no one expected him to go to.

He speaks with an author who hypothesized many different types of cures in their story. Many of them are nothing but fiction, but he wants to see if any of their ideas can be replicated.

In taking her ideas, they both end up theorizing and eventually producing a cure that can be set to target any one bacteria in the body.

This cure ends up working, and while everything seems to be rose colored, there's a shaky feeling that the researcher can't stop thinking about...

So, without getting into too much detail as to what I came up with, my only reason for saying this might be fucked at some point is because of my lack of scientific knowledge.

I'm really particular and get caught up on being sure things are at least plausible. So, I might reach a point where I can't find a decent answer for something and end up abandoning the whole thing.

Also, I'm not used to writing science fiction 🤠 so I was worried it would turn into Sci-fi fantasy real quick.

It'll be a nice challenge though if I decide to go through with it.

But, it you read to the end, thank you and I hope you enjoyed 🍂