Reading List - Tumblr Posts

Joel Miller Masterlist

series

Of Saints and Sinners - completed

Apothecary - ongoing

June - ongoing

Only Lovers Left Alive

oneshots

I've Got You

Sweetness

A High Price

Make it Better

Easy, Cowboy

Unexpected Expectings

Baby Blue - a continuation of Sweetness

We'll Be Expecting You - a continuation of Unexpected Expectings

Not What You Expected - a continuation of Unexpected Expectings

In a Pinch (Sweetness Universe)

Nothing to Hide

The Hayloft

requests

A Big Break

Talking Shop (Unexpected Expectings universe)

Big Fan

Big Fan - Part Two

Spring Foals

Splash

All Yours

Pieces of Our Path

Menace

Cold As Ice

Ride It

Let's Take a Ride - a continuation of Ride It

Looking

High Expectations (Unexpected Expectings universe)

Good

Better Off - a continuation of Looking

Unmet Expectations (Unexpected Expectings universe)

Untitled [drunk!joel begs his woman for another baby] (Unexpected Expectings Universe

An Unexpected Addition (Unexpected Expectings universe)

Jealousy, Jealousy

Favorite Part

What a Ride

Birds of a Feather

Unexpected Circumstances (Unexpected Expectings Universe)

Summer Lovin

RICHARD MADDEN

JAVIER PEÑA

DIN DJARIN

FRANKIE MORALES

JOEL MILLER

DIETER BRAVO

MARCUS PIKE

Ivy & Stone Masterlist (Victorian au!Frankie Morales/Javi G x oc)

Spooktacular ‘22

800 Follower Celebration

8 Days of Christmas Masterlist

The Pedro Boys Astrology:

The Water Signs

The Fire Signs

The Air Signs

The Earth Signs

The Pedro Boys as Taylor Swift albums:

frankie morales—folklore

javier peña—red

javi g—speak now

dieter bravo—1989

din djarin—reputation

agent whiskey—taylor swift (debut)

pedro pascal—lover

dave york—fearless

joel miller—evermore

it is indeed quite aphoristic and fun to pull individual quotes. but if you want to read “october” by louise glück in its entirety, which i highly recommend, you can find it here

DO YOU DREAM OF ME? - c.hs

the first time you kiss your soulmate, you’ll open your eyes to a world of colour. the problem? vernon hates the thought that he might pull away from you and still see in monochrome.  or, five times he wanted to plant one on you, and the one time you beat him to it. 

pairing ; vernon x gn!reader.  content ; all the tropes. 5 times fic. soulmate au. slight college au if you squint. f2l. fluff, some angst. pining. one (1) hint of suggestiveness if u squint. MINORS STILL DO NOT HAVE MY CONSENT TO INTERACT.  content notes ; mentions of reader having a(n unnamed) partner & thereafter, going through a breakup due to said partner cheating. reader is maybe implied to be shorter than him but hopefully not too obviously or frequently. alcohol is mentioned & is a key theme in scene #3. pov switch for the final part (necessary for logistical reasons.) PLEASE let me know if i've forgotten anything. w/c ; 9.6k note ; welcome to thee most self indulgent fic ever lmao. i hope u enjoy this slight break away from what i usually post here (as if my entire brand isn’t writing losers in love. ANYWAY) -- this was very fun and a little bit special for me! <3

“What was your first kiss like?”

Initially, Vernon swears he just didn’t hear you right. It’s dark up here, where you’re hiding away from a party on the roof of his university accommodation and he’s starting to get tired. There’s some sort of siren wailing away in the distance to his left, and on the street below, a gaggle of freshmen are cackling as they walk past the building. His ear closest to you is currently listening to your favourite song. 

All the signs suggest that he simply got it wrong. 

But he doesn’t know if he believes those signs, especially not seeing as when he looks over at you, you’re staring pointedly up at the stars overhead. He doesn’t doubt that you’re giving yourself an ache in your neck in the process, too.

“Hmm?” He asks, taking out the earphone that connects him to you. The other one is still nestled away in your ear and he reaches to gently pull it away. “What was that?”

You still don’t look at him, but you do repeat yourself. Quietly. “What… was your first kiss like?”

“Oh.” 

He was right. 

“You don’t have to tell me,” you hurry to say, hugging his jacket tighter around yourself to block out the cold air that blows across the rooftop. He shrugged it off and told you to take it the very moment your teeth started chattering — almost an hour ago now. His arms are bare, shoulders and biceps only covered by a t-shirt so thin it’s practically sheer, but he isn’t cold. He’s always run hotter than most. “Sorry.”

He nudges you with his knee, silently telling you that you don’t need to apologise. He doesn’t mind — you just caught him off guard; Vernon hasn’t given this any thought in a long time, and he has to really put his mind to coming up with an answer. It was forever ago — when he was eleven or twelve, maybe, with his first ever girlfriend. They dated for a whole two and a half weeks. He doesn’t know if it really counts: the kiss was a dare, after all. 

“Kinda…” He starts, trying to follow the line of your sight, wondering if he can find the exact stars you’re looking at. “She’d just put this weird lipgloss on. It was real tingly. And like, neither of us knew what we were doing? So it… got everywhere. I think I ended up swallowing some, I don’t know. My mouth felt weird after. Thought I was having an allergic reaction.”

You laugh softly at him. “I think that would put me off for the rest of my life,” you say. 

“It almost did,” he chuckles. You hum at him and lean back on your elbows, leaving Vernon more than a little bit confused. He readjusts his hold on his knees, bringing them closer to his chest as he tilts his head down at you in your new position. 

“…why?” He asks, just as you close your eyes and take a deep inhale of the cool air. 

You just shrug. “I guess I just… wondered.”

He nods, and it’s his turn to fall short of a response, but that’s okay. You’ve known each other for too long for these silences to feel uncomfortable. He grew up with you. In fact, he’s reasonably sure he’s told you this story before. He must have done. 

Then he realises, maybe he hasn’t. Because he doesn’t know the story behind yours, and maybe that’s just a line the two of you never came to crossing. He knows he told his other friends, back then, because he was the last one in his circle to have a first kiss and he felt like it made him more grown-up, or something. Naturally, he left out the more embarrassing details. But maybe you just told your other friends who weren’t him, and went on with your life. Maybe yours was just… normal. 

Either way, he’s interested now. And there’s no time to ask like the present. 

“What was yours like?” He asks, fiddling with the strap on his wristwatch. You don’t answer straight away; he doesn’t think anything of it, because neither did he, but when he’s still waiting for you to speak a small eternity later, he prompts you again. “Hey, it can't have been worse than mine.”

You snort. 

“You’ll laugh at me,” you say, shaking your head. Vernon furrows his brows and drops his legs flat, twisting to one side to look at you. 

He doesn’t know where you’d get that idea from, but he’s… almost a bit offended by it?

“No I won’t,” he tells you softly. Maybe at first, he might’ve laughed with you, if your story happened to be as dumb as his own. But not at you. Never at. Not when he’s been the butt of the joke in too many friendship circles, for about as long as he can remember. 

You take a shallow breath, pursing your lips. “Whatever you’re thinking, it’s not…” you start to say, before you clear your throat and try again, this time heading in a different direction. “I don’t know. It’s dumb, I guess.”

“Don’t make me come down there,” Vernon threatens playfully, poking you in your side. You squirm, giggling despite yourself, despite the serenity of the sanctuary you two have found, despite the fact that you, too, were on the edge of falling asleep before your question came out of nowhere.  

He pokes you again, and again, and then starts to tickle your ribs instead. You squeal, swatting his hands away to no avail and you move to sit up, grabbing him by the forearms to physically make him stop. The grin on Vernon’s face is wide and heart-shaped. A warm feeling spreads through him: it has everything to do with the sweet sounds of your slowly dissolving laughter. 

You sit cross-legged across from each other like this for a moment or two. Your knees are touching. Your hands move down his arms until you’re holding him firmly by the wrists. Your eyes lock together: his crease with the sheer force of his boyish smile, while yours are narrowed, daring him to try and wiggle free and attack you again. 

He doesn’t, but for the first time ever, he’s struck with the urge to do something maybe more scary. 

The urge to just… lean in to you. 

It makes his heart do a backflip, in a way that it hasn’t done since he had his last crush. His head goes empty, and he forgets what he was even asking you before: the only thoughts he can muster are ones regarding what your lips taste like, whether they’re half as soft as they look, if you’d lightly touch his shoulder or his arm or his chest or his cheek—

Do you smile when you kiss?, he wonders. Do you sigh? Do you—

“I’ve never kissed anyone,” you answer, looking away now and letting go of him. He’s gone so loose in the moments since you grabbed hold of him that when you’re not supporting their weight, his arms fall like two cinder blocks onto his knees. 

True to his word, he doesn’t laugh. He’s surprised by your revelation, sure, but in no way humoured; actually, he feels a little saddened by it, for a reason he can’t put his finger to. He ends up not saying anything, just biting the inside of his cheek; he wants to ask why, but knows maybe that’s a bit of a dick move, and if it’s something you’re sensitive about he doesn’t want to risk hurting you.

But he’s watched people fawn over you for years, and he doesn’t think you’ve ever been short of attention from those who have thought you were attractive. So it can’t be that you’ve been lacking in chances? Surely?

“I thought… maybe I should save it,” you go on to explain. Your hands keep busy by playing with a thread at the cuff of his jacket sleeve, wrapping it around one finger until the skin beneath it pinches before you unravel it again. 

“Save it?” He asks. You nod your head.

“For when I thought I’d found them.” You pause, swallowing hard. “Like I said, it’s s—.”

“No it’s not,” Vernon says abruptly, shaking his head. He holds onto you now, one hand slipping around your back until it rests on the shoulder furthest away from him. You scoff. He squeezes you into his side. “Hey. It’s not stupid.”

He doesn’t like how this admission has, somehow, made his desire to kiss you stronger. He hates that he feels even more drawn to you, a magnet finally finding its opposing pole. It freaks him out a little. He’s never wanted to kiss anyone this badly. 

Red button theory, he tells himself to try and get back on the straight and narrow. If you hadn’t said anything, none of this would be happening.

“It’s romantic,” he says finally, swiping his thumb in small motions over the top of your shoulder. You nod, mumbling a ‘thank you’ (for what, he isn’t sure), and shiver. Vernon doesn’t know if that’s because of his proximity to you or because you’re finally starting to feel the cold. Either way, he takes the initiative to stand up and holds a hand out for you to take so he can tug you to your feet too. You get up with a little hop. 

It’s… devastatingly cute.

“Where are we going?” You ask, brushing off your jeans before shoving your hands into the jacket’s pockets. He’s already on the retreat, walking backwards towards the door that took you up here.

“To get food,” he tells you, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “That party was dead, anyway.”

It doesn’t cross his mind again until your twenty-first birthday. 

He’s not your soulmate. He couldn’t be. The thought he had on the roof that autumnal night was little more than a passing fantasy; besides, he doesn’t have a thing for you. He doesn’t want to kiss you, or date you, or have you be his soulmate. The reason you work so well together is because you’re just friends; he thinks you’d drive each other crazy if things ever went romantic between you. You bicker with him for sport. He drowns away hours at a time with his headphones clamped over his ears and forgets to answer your texts. It would be a nightmare. 

Not that he’s ever thought about all that. Not actively, or even passively. Not when he should be listening to college lectures instead, for example. Not awake, nor in his dreams. He hasn’t. Not once. 

He swears. 

“You can save it ‘til tomorrow, if you want.”

Vernon bounces his leg nervously, fidgeting with the edge of your comforter as you sit on the floor in front of him, styling your hair for your party. He arrived half an hour ago while you were still waltzing around in your bathrobe, holding a small, neatly wrapped box in both of his hands. It’s several degrees too warm in your bedroom. He feels a bead of sweat roll down his back as you grumble what seems to be a threat at a strand that won’t cooperate. Thankfully, you don’t seem to notice his discomfort. (If you do, he’s grateful that you don’t say anything.)

“But it’s my birthday today,” you pouted, taking the box from him. “Let me finish getting ready, then I’ll open it. Come on.”

His wrist still aches with the pressure you held onto him with as you dragged him up the stairs. Your parents are away for the weekend and the house is all yours, so there’s a speaker blasting your favourite playlist full volume on your nightstand and there’s nobody to tell you to turn it down. He flits his attention between his phone and watching you, but he can’t fully concentrate on either; he’s too nervous that maybe you won’t like his gift, and he’s never been the type to splash out on birthday presents before but this… well, it burned a hole in his wallet, that’s for sure. 

“Okay. Wait here,” you tell him as you push up off the floor, limping on the leg that had started to fall asleep thanks to the way you were sitting. 

“All right,” he says back. As if he’d go anywhere, anyway. 

You grab a hanger from inside your closet and scurry off down the hall to the bathroom. For the first time, Vernon feels like he can actually breathe. He drops his phone onto the comforter between his crossed legs and cradles his head in his hands, telling himself that he needs to get it together. You’ve never not liked anything he’s given you, and you’ve known him now for more birthdays than you haven’t. 

Your friends said you’d love it. So did your mother, with a sparkle in her eye as she held it delicately in her fingers. He has nothing to worry about. It’s only you.

And yet—

“You’ll be honest if it looks bad?” You call from the other side of the door, interrupting how his lips move wordlessly in an endless mantra of self-reassurances. 

Vernon snaps his head up and he clears his throat, rubbing the heels of his hands into his eye sockets. “Aren’t I always?” He answers.

You click your tongue, evidently disagreeing, but you pull the handle and take a step into the room anyway. When you see him, he looks exactly as he did when you left, no trace of his anxieties anywhere to be seen on his face or otherwise. 

When he sees you, he feels like the world could end any moment and he’d be okay with that. 

His mouth runs dry and his eyes seem to be stuck open, unblinking, fixated on you in your all black outfit as you stand still as a statue with your hands behind your back. You cough quietly, waiting for some kind of a response other than a dumb stare, but it doesn’t come. 

Eight seconds later… still nothing. 

“Do you hate it?” you fret, because Vernon is a very good hype-man and you’ve never known him struggle to find something positive to say. “All right, uh— okay—”

“No!” He rushes, almost shouting in his urgency to assure you that that’s not the case at all. He scrambles up to his feet, taking a breath, and pushes a hand through his hair. He’s been growing it out lately, and he kind of hates how his fingers catch on a tangle even though he brushed it meticulously before he left his apartment. You keep telling him it looks good, though, so he hasn’t been to get it cut. “God, no. I’m sorry. You look amazing.”

It doesn’t sound like much to the untrained ear, but the warmth of his compliments comes less in the words he says and more in the sincerity he says them with. Your face softens, and Vernon can see the way the thoughts of changing into something else fizzle out behind your eyes. He takes a backwards step to try and tempt you further into your own bedroom, and you move in tandem with him, closing that space and coming better into the light. 

“Wow,” he says, swallowing hard and looking you up and down. “I-… wow.”

It’s your turn to clam up, now. You look down at the floor, kicking at the carpet with your toes. “Shut up,” you say. “I’m not...”

“Yes, you are,” he protests, leaving no room for argument as he crosses his arms over his chest. “I don’t know who you’re trying to impress but… yeah, it’s gonna work.”

You walk past him with a scoff, barging against his shoulder on your way; he dramatically staggers to the side, rubbing at the impact site, laughing. When he faces you again, you’ve picked the gift up from the end of your bed and are moving to sit on the mattress yourself. Your eyes flicker between Vernon and the empty space in front of you. He takes the hint, settling back down with one foot tucked beneath him, the other still planted on your rug. 

His heart shoots back up into his throat and he stares down at the box, licking over his lips and frowning at how dry they feel. He glances away, lifting a hand to his mouth, running his fingertips over his lips. What would they feel like pressed against yours? He thinks, and then he cringes again. 

You misread his reaction and hesitate with your finger pressed underneath a strip of tape, tilting your head at him. “What’s going to jump out at me when I open this?” 

“Nothing,” he says, rolling his eyes at you. “What do you take me for?”

“The kind of guy who puts glitter in birthday cards because he thinks it’s funny,” you retort, earning a click of his tongue. 

“That was one time!”

“One time too many.”

“I swear,” he laughs, tight shoulders easing, both hands falling to his lap. “No sparkles, no loud noises, nothing jumpy. Cross my heart.“

You eye him a little suspiciously but eventually tug your finger beneath the wrapping and make the first rip in the paper, allowing you to tear into the gift after keeping Vernon on edge for almost an hour and a half. You peel it away and it falls to the bedsheets, in your hands now a small, square box not too dissimilar a shade to your comforter. You look from it, to him, and he thinks you notice how his cheeks are a little darker than they were before. 

He nods at you once and you slowly pull it open. On a plush, velvety bedding sits an elegant, dainty bracelet. A small gemstone is set in the metal of the bar in the middle of the chain. You skim a thumb over it, your breath held.

“Vernon,” you murmur, tearing your eyes away from the bracelet to look at him. Now, even the tips of his ears have grown flushed, but you’re kind enough not to comment on it to avoid spoiling the moment you’re in. “This is…”

“The lady in the store said it was your birthstone,” he says, twiddling his thumbs. “I mean… I’m really just taking her word for it, ‘cause they all look the same to me, but—”

He’s interrupted as all of your weight topples against him, arms thrown around his neck in a hug. He hesitates a moment before he wraps his own around your waist, drops his head to your shoulder and he smiles wider than he thinks he ever has. “Happy Birthday,” he says, dragging his thumb up and down over your hip. 

“Silly,” you scold him playfully, still pressing wholly against him and showing no signs of moving. Your voice sounds thick, a little like you’re tearing up, so Vernon squeezes you tighter. 

“I know you are,” he chuckles. “But what am I?”

You swallow hard, finally now pulling away from the hug but sitting entirely too close for comfort, one knee pressing into the outside of his thigh. 

Your surprise attack has left him dishevelled. With a quiet apology, your fingers innocently try to smooth everything back into place, but Vernon doesn’t hear you say you’re sorry. His pulse, thundering in his ears, drowns it out while also skipping a beat with each little touch. You’re not looking into his eyes as you shyly put him back to rights, too busy working to tame his — at the best of times — unruly hair. 

He’s looking into yours though, and he can’t stop. 

Your eyes, which dart all over to find strands out of place, so your hands can move them to where they ought to sit and lay them down flat. Your eyes, that drop down the length of his throat as you realign the neck of his t-shirt over his broad shoulders. 

Your eyes: the ones crinkled at the corners as you pick the bracelet back up from your bed and admire it under your bedroom light. Your eyes, landing on his, finally, in a silent plea for help. 

“The best?” you answer, now, extending your wrist to ask him to put it on you. He takes the chain from your fingers and unclasps it, slipping it beneath your hand and holding it in place. 

“I know you are,” he says again, but it’s quieter now as he concentrates on trying to reconnect the two pieces. “But what am I?”

When he successfully fastens your gift onto your arm, he looks up to see your watery eyes still staring down at it. He decides this is the time to reveal part two of the surprise. Pulling up the sleeve of his t-shirt, he reveals his own wrist to you, and you now see there’s a matching chain hanging off it. A little stone set in the metal. His stone, presumably. You choke out a laugh around your tears, shaking your head. 

“You got us friendship bracelets,” you giggle, holding your hand next to his and admiring them together. Your skin touches and he feels butterflies erupt in his stomach, which he hasn’t felt around you since…

He nods, breathing a chuckle too. “Yeah,” he says. His heart is pounding. “I guess I did. Is… that okay?”

“I love them,” you insist, leaning forward to affectionately press your lips to his cheek. “Thank you. It’s perfect.”

Your doorbell sounds downstairs and Vernon’s words die in his throat. Maybe that’s for the best, though; he’s got so much nervous energy rising up inside him and he’s scared it might accidentally force up something he’ll regret saying. You spring off the bed again, fussing in the mirror, and he watches you rush out the bedroom warbling about how you’re not ready for anyone to be here yet. It’s too early. What’s going on? Who is it?

He shifts his legs so both his feet are planted on the floor, letting out a breath he doesn’t remember sucking in. 

I love them. Thank you, you said. 

It’s perfect. 

He groans when he stands up, too, tugging his sleeve back down as he starts to follow after you.

“I know you are,” he mumbles under his breath, hearing your relieved laughter at it just being the FedEx man on your doorstep. It makes him feel warm. Everywhere. “But what am I?”

Five hours later, Vernon is seeing double. 

He has Seungkwan’s hands massaging the tops of his shoulders and there are two Juns sitting across from him at your dining table. He remembers feeling fine around 9pm, distinctly: like nothing he drank was having any kind of effect on him. Like he could walk home on his hands — like he was invincible. Now, after spending exactly five minutes out in the fresh air, he’s blinking four times for every breath he takes and his friends’ voices keep phasing in and out of focus.

“But what if they’re not?” Vernon stresses for the eighth time, fingers clumsily peeling at the label on his bottle.

“And what if they are?” Jun tries. Again. Also, for the eighth time, because apparently when Vernon gets tipsy, his skull gets really really thick and nothing in the world can penetrate it. “You’ll never know if you don’t try.”

Vernon shakes his head, sitting back so heavily that his chair tips and he sends Seungkwan stumbling into the wall behind them. His friend gives up trying to rub the stupid out of him and settles into the chair at Vernon’s side instead. 

“I don’t know-…”

“If you’re about to say you don’t know what you’ll do if it isn’t them, I’m putting you in an Uber and sending you home.” Seungkwan claps his hand down onto Vernon’s knee for good measure. “It’s not even been a day.”

Vernon groans, threading his fingers into his hair and tipping his head back. “It hasn’t, though,” he whines. “What if it’s been like this since… and I just kept ignoring…”

Jun and Seungkwan exchange a look. An exhausted one. They both know Vernon turns into a complete baby when he’s had a drink and can just about manage a trip to the bathroom without somebody holding his hand, but neither of them have seen him like this before. Neither of them want to see him like this ever again.

Hell, neither of them want to be dealing with him like this right now.

“You’ll never know if you don’t try,” Jun’s (remarkably) calm voice repeats as he pushes up from his seat and glances towards the doorway. His ears lock onto a voice just beyond it, and in an instant, the older man recognises his chance at an exit. He casts an apologetic glance at Seungkwan, who has resorted to rubbing Vernon’s earlobes to try and get him to stop stressing, and he dips out before either of them can argue. 

On his way, though, he throws in a sly little remark. One that raises Vernon’s– and Seungkwan’s– blood pressure to a level that would get them prescribed a week of strict bed rest.

“Besides – everyone can see the two of you were practically made for each other.”

Vernon whips around to face Seungkwan with shock written into every line of his face. It paints perfect full-signal WiFi creases on his forehead; it makes his jaw hang loose. 

“I– what?” Vernon splutters, shooting a hand to the back of his head. Seungkwan hasn’t taken his eyes off the doorway since Jun slipped through it. Vernon doesn’t notice the fact that his older friend’s full genetic line is currently being cursed out. “What does he mean?”

“You don’t have to do anything tonight,” Seungkwan tries, now acutely aware of the fact that Jun has just given Vernon a nudge he should never have. There’s a fine line between bolstering a friend and straight-up causing chaos. This could get messy. Seungkwan doesn’t like messy.

But… It's too late. 

Before Seungkwan can wrangle him back into his seat, Vernon has broken away from the table and is on the hunt for you. Seungkwan follows behind, doing his best to summon Vernon back, but he can’t. He’s on a mission now. And maybe that mission involves giving in to the thing that eats away at his brain when he should be waist-deep in music theory assignments. Maybe that mission is to finally, after two years, know what it feels like to kiss you. He’s going to find you, so help him God. He has to. 

And yes. He does. He finds you, eventually. As soon as he reaches the top of the staircase, there you are. 

Being pressed into the wood of your bedroom door, wrapped up in the arms of some pretentious looking art student in an oversized button-down and baggy, ripped jeans. Your mouth is covered by theirs, your fingers are threaded through those glossy fucking locks, both of you are laughing breathlessly as you drop one hand and it fumbles blindly to reach for the doorknob. 

Vernon spins away, turning his back as he hears the door click. At this exact moment, Seungkwan comes stumbling up the stairs too and plants his forehead into Vernon’s sternum. 

But his good friend’s skull is not the only thing Vernon is struck with, not the only thing knocking the wind out of him. 

Simultaneously, he’s swept up with the sobering realisations that either this guy is your soulmate, or you’re not the same person you were when you were nineteen. 

It’s eleven o’clock and two years later when he hears your secret knock on his apartment door. 

Maybe it’s luck. Maybe it’s fate. He only took his noise cancelling headphones off a few minutes ago before he washed up and settled into bed; his head has hardly even had time to make a dent in the pillows. But whichever force is at play, the thing that matters is that he hears you and he knows it’s you, straight away. He doesn’t remember how it started, exactly. He thinks it might have been while he was in his exam-season hermit stage in his first year of university and refused to come to the door unless it was something important. 

You’ve been knocking the same way for years now though, and he slides out of bed with creased brows at how desperate your fist sounds as it pounds against the wood. He pulls on an old t-shirt and perhaps the loosest fitting pair of shorts anyone’s ever owned, at least making himself decent before he answers. He’s still tying the drawstring when he gets to the door.

When he looks through the peep-hole to make sure he’s right, you’re drying your eyes on the back of your sweatshirt sleeve. You’re shivering quite violently, and you’ve got a bag on your shoulder that’s weighing you down on one side. Vernon’s heart sinks. He unbolts the door, pulling it open just as you lift your hand to knock again; your knuckles punch the air between you as your eyes land on him, and your bottom lip wobbles in despair. 

You fall into his chest with a sob. Tears start to soak their way through his shirt until it clings to the skin underneath. 

“Hey,” he soothes you, locking his arms so tight around you that there’s a strong chance they’re the only thing holding you upright. 

“I didn’t— know where else to go—” you choke out, your arm trapped between your chest and his as he rests his head on top of yours and pats your back softly. “I’m s-”

“Don’t you dare,” he murmurs, tilting his chin down to press a soft kiss to the top of your head. “It’s okay. I’m here. You can always come to me.”

He holds you until your shakes start to subside, trying to talk you through whatever this is with soft reassurances and gentle shushing sounds. When you pull back from him, Vernon guides you into his apartment, flicking on the lamp in his living room so he can see to settle you down on his couch. He throws a blanket over your legs before he sits down himself, pulling your hand into his lap and holding it between both of his own, his thumb moving absently over your knuckles. You’re still crying, but when you shuffle against the seat to be a little more comfortable and finally turn to face him, he finds his voice long enough to ask you what happened. 

“He kissed— kissed someone else,” you tell him, sniffling and shaking your head. 

His blood reaches boiling point in what must be record time and he knows he accidentally starts to grip your hand tighter, but he can’t stop. 

“He what?”

Vernon knows this guy wasn’t your soulmate. You told him, a few days after your birthday. You said everything was still black and white when you pulled back from the first of — what you spared no detail in explaining was — many, many, many kisses with him that evening. But you didn’t care. Not then, and not for the whole time you’ve been together. 

He asked you about it once. About four months in (when he figured things were starting to get serious), late at night, if it bothered you. Whether you were going to keep seeing him. If you still thought about finding your soulmate. He doesn’t think he’ll ever forget what your replying message said. 

I mean, sure, I’m curious. But maybe I don’t need to see in colour. I think being in love is enough :)

So… you were in love. 

With someone who wasn’t him. 

He didn’t speak to anyone — not even you — for two whole days after that. He felt like he’d gone ten rounds with a peak-form George Foreman. He felt like he’d never be able to get rid of the pit that had developed in the depths of his gut. He couldn’t sleep, he could barely eat, he couldn’t focus: it was the worst he’d ever felt.  And, well… Vernon knew it was immature. He knew he was acting like a child. If he could’ve shaken it off, the way he’s always done with so many of the things in his life that have bothered him, he’d have loved to. But he couldn’t.

Besides. Only about four people noticed his silence, anyway. You weren’t one of them; your boyfriend was keeping you plenty busy.

“He went to a club and got completely wasted and he— he—” you say, squeezing his hand even tighter than he’s holding yours. “But-… he says he-…” Hiccup. “Everything. Straight away — his…”

You don’t need to say it out loud; if anything, he’s a little disgusted with himself that he didn’t figure this out sooner. “His soulmate,” Vernon ruefully finishes for you. He groans the words out, feeling rotten to his core. “I’m so sorry…”

Your shoulders start to shake and he wastes no time in pulling you sideways against him, both his arms locked around you again, just like before. 

“It’s so stupid,” you cry, laughing emptily. His stomach turns; he hates this. Your anguish is an assault on his eardrums, especially when he’s got you so close, but he tries so hard not to flinch, not to move away. You need him, no matter how agonised it makes him feel. “I knew he wasn’t mine, but I thought-…”

Your voice fades away to nothing. You shake your head.

“You thought he was happy the same way you were,” he finishes again. You just nod, sobbing harder. “That's not—… stop saying the way you feel is stupid.”

Vernon doesn’t understand how that loser could ever not have been happy with you. How could he dream about going out in search of something more? Hell, Vernon doesn’t think there’s a soul alive better than you — how could anyone stand to just throw you away?

He wonders briefly if you can hear his heartbeat, thundering in his chest with the rage he feels all the way into his bones. You’ve always told him that you admire how chilled out, how collected he is, but Vernon has never felt less calm in his entire life. It’s only as he acknowledges that he has no right to feel like this, that he takes a few deep breaths in an attempt to bring his fever down. You mimic him, trying to do the same, and by the time his pulse starts to settle, you’re back to just sniffling against his shoulder. 

“Stay the night here,” he tells you. It isn’t a suggestion, or really even a request. It’s an order. There’s no room for negotiation. “We’ll go get your things in the morning. I’ll be right there with you.”

You open your mouth to speak, but Vernon gets there before you do. Before you can protest the offers he’s made. Before you can ask him if he’s sure. He knows you, a little too well: he knows these are the words that are going to come out of your mouth next. “I’m with you, okay? Always.”

You sit back from him with a quiet chuckle, wiping your eyes again on your damp sleeve. “I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you,” you murmur. “You’re the best— the best thing that ever happened to me.”

He just rolls his eyes at you and shakes his head, standing up from the couch. (I know you are, he thinks. This isn’t the time for jokes, though.) He wishes you knew what you mean to him; how, in his eyes, you deserve the world, presented to you on a shining silver platter. Wishes you knew that he’d give it to you if thought he could carry it. 

“Go wash up,” he says, ignoring the ache in his chest at the way your watery lashes flutter when you look up at him. “I’ll find you something to sleep in.”

He locates a spare toothbrush from a travelling kit he’s never used and sets a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants on the heated towel rail, leaving you alone in the bathroom to go about your business. You emerge some fifteen minutes later to find Vernon perched on the edge of his bed, scrolling through an app on his phone. He can’t help but swallow at the way his clothes fit you. How the steam from your shower clings to your skin, casts a heavenly haze around you. He hopes it isn’t obvious. This is about more than his dumb little crush. 

“Were you asleep?” You ask him, nodding towards his comforter, still pushed back on one side. He turns to glance over his shoulder, following the line of your sight, before he looks back at you and shakes his head. 

“Not even close,” he says. “I’d just got into bed when you got here.”

You worry your bottom lip between your teeth and nod. Vernon doesn't think you look totally convinced, but he can’t force you to believe him, even if it is the truth. 

It’s unspoken but accepted that you'll sleep in the bed with him; he’s never let you stay on his couch when you spend the night, and you never agree to displacing him even though he always tries to insist he doesn’t mind. You’ve been friends for enough time now that it’ll never be weird to crawl beneath the sheets with him, anyway. At first, he didn’t really like sharing (he’s a bit… particular with how he sleeps, after all), but he got used to your weight on the mattress beside him quite quickly and makes a point to say he always sleeps better with you. 

He hasn’t curled up next to you for the night in over two years. It’s awful, that that’s what he thinks about now as he turns off the lights and you settle down, shuffling under the comforter until he slides in next to you in the dark and you can lay your head on his chest. He knows it’s selfish. He thinks it probably makes him a bad person, too. 

“Do you think—” you start to say, cut off by a long, vocal yawn. Your breath feels so warm through his t-shirt. “If you fall out of love with them… do the colours go away?”

With his eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling he can’t even see, Vernon feels his heart shatter beneath the soft cushion of your cheek. He’s suddenly grateful he’s still fully clothed, as if the cotton barrier is the only thing stopping you from getting scratched by the splinters beneath his skin. He wonders if you hear it. It would be an easier explanation for why he doesn’t say anything than whatever his mouth could come up with, that’s for sure. 

“I don’t know,” he says after a few seconds too long. The arm wrapped around your shoulders slips down to your waist and he squeezes you. Briefly, he wonders if it can force your broken pieces back together. 

Vernon knows he would never do this to you. He’d never hurt you this way. Out of everyone he’s ever met, he thinks you’re the sweetest, the kindest, the most thoughtful of them all. The last person he’d ever wish a heartbreak upon. He even used to joke that he’d go to war with anyone who dared to try. 

But now he’s seeing it happen? He feels as if he really could. 

“I just hope you never have to find out,” he follows up, blinking back the thoughts that start to bubble away as your breaths slow down. 

He wrapped a band-aid around your finger when you got a papercut once and you asked him, then, if he would kiss it better. 

When you bumped your head in the playground, the same. 

He’d kiss it all better now too, if he could. He’d show you how you deserve to be loved. 

And he doesn’t just think it, anymore; Vernon knows that this makes him a terrible person. 

“I hope you don’t, either,” you mumble back. “... and I hope we find them soon.”

He’s so proud of you.

Okay, it never took much. He’s been proud of you for every good grade you’ve ever achieved, every doctor's appointment you booked for yourself, every trip to the dentist you stressed over. He’s been proud of you for finishing projects you were struggling with. Proud of you for learning new recipes. For every milestone, personal or professional, it’s the first thing he makes sure to say. 

[ hey, look at u go!!! proud of u :) ]

Now? He’s seen you crawl from rock bottom to the top of the world. It hasn’t been easy. There have been hurdles and barriers and sometimes, sixty foot high walls you’ve had to climb up and over, but you’ve done it. You’re thriving. Every time he looks at you, these days, if you’re not wearing a smile there are at least traces of one in your eyes, on your face, in your voice. Happiness suits you, and he’s so, so proud of you for getting here. 

He knows you’re doing better, because between Christmas and New Year, you asked him if he wanted to come to a party with you. At first, he wasn’t sure; the holidays left his wallet feeling a little light and he’s been on a really good streak of not drinking anything lately, but when you promised that you’d stay sober too, he kind of couldn’t say no. 

[ i just wanna see in the new year with my favourite person ever &lt;3 ]

[ ha. flattery will get u everywhere ]

So here he finds himself, out in the backyard of somebody he’s never met, a can of Coke in one hand and your gloved fingers holding tightly onto the other. You dragged him outside at five minutes to midnight and — though he doesn’t know why — you decided you didn’t want to let go. Vernon certainly wasn’t going to be the one to make you. Your warmth down his left side is settling the slight unease he’s felt all evening while also making him feel tipsier than he’s ever been under the influence of any amount of soju; he thinks maybe this should scare him, but he’s just… so glad he came.

With sixty seconds until the clock strikes twelve, somebody stands up on top of the picnic table in the yard and starts to try and coordinate a countdown. With forty-five, Vernon squeezes your hand, butterflies where his stomach ought to be. With thirty, he takes a long drain of his drink, finishing it as if it’ll give him some courage, maybe, or… he doesn’t know. Zero sugar, zero caffeine — there’s no logic behind his process, just a lot of bubbles and artificially sweetened syrup. All the same, he crushes the can against his thigh and slips it into his pocket to throw away later. That alone relieves a bit of his adrenaline. 

Not enough, but some. 

With ten seconds remaining, the first shout drowns out the white noise in his ears, the chaos of his thoughts. 10. He joins them. So do you. 9. 8. Your voice is the loudest, the most excited sounding. You want this year to be over. You want the rest of your life to begin. 

7. 6. 5.

The crackers are set. Flames dance at the end of the garden on fire lighters, ready to send rockets shooting into the sky. 

Some people here are going to see them as they truly are. Brilliant and vibrant and colourful against the black canvas of the midnight sky. Vernon won’t. Neither will you. But what was it you said to him once?

4. 3.

Maybe I don’t need to see in colour. 

2.

For the first time, he thinks he agrees. The feeling of loving you, even if he never knows green from red, blue from orange? He doesn’t care. He has you. He loves you. That’s enough. 

1.

Happy New Year. 

As if dawn has broken early, the world becomes impossibly bright, pyrotechnics bursting not only over your own heads but everywhere, as far as his eyes can see. After the first few, he permits himself a glance over at your face: there are tears running down it, and his heart stutters, but then he hears you laugh. Brightly, wetly, more resonant than any of the booms and crackles and cheers he can feel all the way down to his toes. 

For whatever reason, Vernon starts laughing with you. 

You pull him closer into a bone-crushing hug and blink your damp lashes against the side of his neck. “Thank you for being here with me,” you say to him, practically shouting to be heard. “I love you so much.”

“I’m always gonna be with you,” he says as you pull back a little. Your arms are still around him. The chain of the bracelet he bought you all those years ago is bitterly cold against the back of his neck. He can’t feel his fingers anymore, all he knows is that they’re resting on the curve of your spine. He thinks he can see something in the way you look at him, so softly and tenderly and yet, in the twitch of your brow… 

Like you’re searching for something that might not be there. 

He knows his gaze moves in a perfect triangle — from your left eye, to your slightly parted, wind-chapped lips, to your right. He knows he stops breathing. He swears you do, too. Something builds — a spark catches, an energy festers, egged on by the curious murmurs of the people around you. 

You could do it, his brain tells him. 

So what if he’s a few minutes late for it to be traditional? Does it really matter? 

But he’s reminded, again, this time with a whizz and a boom and a crackle, that you aren’t his to have this way. His storybook moment fizzles out, the final firework bursting into sparkles overhead. He sees every one of your perfect features brighten in wonder as you tilt your head back to look up at it. Sees it beautifully reflected in your glassy eyes. He has about enough time to commit the image to memory before you clear your throat and finally step away from him, losing all touch for the first time since you came outside. 

One of your friends comes and pulls you into an embrace, before passing you along to someone else, and then someone else again. He loses you in the crowd that rushes to get back in the warm, but he makes no effort to move with them. He just stays out in the dark for a while with his own thoughts for company, shoving his frigid hands into the pockets of his jeans.

He’s happy, though. It’s like you said. 

Being in love is enough.

“There’s just one more thing,” you say as the waitress returns with your bank card and a receipt. Vernon slides you a look as he stands, picking up his jacket from the back of the chair he’s been sitting in. 

He shakes his head at you. “Whatever it is, it better not be edible,” he laughs. “I think this is the most full I’ve ever been.”

In other words, you’ve done enough already. Stop spending money on me. Please. Thankfully, your final surprise is in-keeping with his unspoken rule. 

His birthday rolled around way too quickly. The start of the year has been so chaotically busy; you swear, you’ve hardly seen him since he dropped you off home after the party. You moved out of your parents’ house for the second time a few weeks ago and settling in, unpacking boxes, sorting through clothes and belongings and trinkets has taken you much longer than you care to admit. You’ve been busy at work, too. So has he. Your social calendars have barely lined up at all. 

But you were determined to make plenty of time for him on his birthday. 

To Vernon, this has always just been another day. He’s never cared too much about big celebrations: as long as he can spend some time with people he cares about, he’s happy, and this year he’s managed exactly that. He saw his family this morning, had some friends drop by his apartment later in the day, and now, he’s with you. 

You’ve never been great at the laid-back approach, though. Not with him. How could you be, when he does so much for you, always without even batting an eye? When he deserves to be doted on, and adored, and thoroughly spoiled? It’s the same every year. You make a fuss, he playfully scolds you for it; you and he are creatures of habit. It’ll probably never change. 

This year, you invited him to your new place to open the gifts you’d bought him: the new speaker he kept saying he couldn’t justify buying, a record he looked at in the store a few months ago but never bought, a sweatshirt to replace the one you stole off him on New Years Eve. Some candies he likes. Then, after he finally stopped pouting and sighing that you really didn’t need to go to all this effort, you took him out for dinner, making a reservation for two at his favourite restaurant. 

The pouting continued. 

Only up until your appetisers came out, though. The moment your food was placed down in front of you, his eyes doubled in size and his lips became a little too busy to stay pursed. Your own dinner almost went cold with how fondly you sat and watched him. This year, you even spared Vernon the embarrassment of having the restaurant staff sing at the side of your table. 

All right, you have an ulterior motive, but… it’s the thought that counts, right? 

He holds the door open for you now as you thank the waitress who served you one last time and without him lowering his arm, you step into place beneath it. Tucked up into Vernon’s side, you’re as happy as you’ve ever been. Nervous, too, but… you have a good feeling. 

“Where to?” He asks as you fall into step together. 

“This way.”

You emerge from the shelter of the canopy outside the restaurant’s front door and immediately feel the cool tickle of a snowflake landing on your cheek. They started to fall while you were eating and Vernon couldn’t stop watching through the window, small specks that grew over the hour into big clumps that tumbled towards the ground. He’s always loved the snow, and there’s no real destination for this gift, anyway. You guide him to the left and watch as peace takes its rightful home on his beautiful features. 

“We’ve walked in a perfect square three times now,” Vernon says after a little while of meandering about in the dark, making comfortable small talk and laughing as the champagne bubbles in your stomachs continue to fizz away. “Where are we supposed to be going?”

You wondered how long it was going to take him to notice, or even if he was going to realise at all. Looking up and down the street you’re on, you stop in your tracks, standing beneath the same flickering street lamp that you’ve passed twice already. Your footprints trail both behind and in front of you, neither quite covered yet by the snowfall. You break into a laugh when you notice that the convenience store on your left has closed since the last time you came down this road. 

“I can get a map open, if…” Vernon starts, reaching into his pocket. You stop him, stepping out from under his arm and wrapping your hand around his wrist instead.

“I might’ve told a little white lie,” you confess, 

He halts with his phone only half pulled out, pushing it into his hip for fear of it falling if either of you let go. “What do you mean?” He asks. 

You know he’s probably thinking back to your earlier conversations, trying to figure out which part exactly is the mistruth you’re now admitting to. But whether he gets there on his own or not, he waits for you to answer. 

“I had it with me this whole time,” you explain, readjusting your hold on his covered forearm. His eyes dart downwards, looking at the site of contact, but he quickly lifts them back up to your face. “I was just… waiting for… ”

“What are you talking about?” Vernon asks. 

“Close your eyes.”

You know.

Unfortunately for your best friend, as hush-hush as he’s managed to be all this time, the same can’t be said for the other person he entrusts all his secrets to. A few weeks ago, when you’d called Seungkwan to coordinate timings for Vernon’s birthday plans, he’d accidentally let something slip. It was your suggestion of taking Vernon to dinner that did the trick. 

“Oh, he’s going to love that,” Seungkwan had gushed. You could hear the breadth of his smile down the phone and felt yourself growing hot at the compliment.

“You really think so?”

“Pfft. You could take him to the Eiffel Tower or to a drive-through KFC, and he’d still have hearts in his eyes – because it’s you.”

Of course, he attempted to do some damage control immediately after. Make out that he meant it in strictly platonic terms. But once the idea planted itself in your head, it sort of… made sense. You mulled it over for a couple of days but when you finally asked Seungkwan, deathly serious, if he really thought you stood a chance with Vernon?

He practically screamed ‘yes’ down the phone. 

“The last time you asked me to do this, you killed me at laser-tag,” Vernon says, narrowing his eyes. He surely doesn’t think you’re hiding a plastic gun underneath the coat he literally just watched you don, but he doesn’t do as you ask and you suck your front teeth at him.

“Luckily for you, I left all my weapons at home,” you counter. “Come on, please. Just… trust me.”

“Said that last time, too,” he snickers. But, to his merit, he finally does it. He takes in a breath and follows your instruction. “I swear to God…”

Selfishly, you take a moment to bask in how handsome he really is. His eyes twitch underneath his lids and snowflakes cling to his lashes, moving with them. It’s in his hair, too. On his shoulders. Melting on his cheeks, leaving small wet spots on his face. One lands perfectly on the tip of his nose. You would immortalise this moment, if you could.

It made sense, when you found out, because thinking back? Nobody has ever loved you how Vernon does. He shows it in so many ways – he sends you the songs that he hears and thinks you’ll like, the pretty photographs that he takes when he’s away for work, some variant of a ‘good morning’ text, almost every day. He massages your shoulders, lets you fall asleep on his lap, follows you around like an obedient puppy when you have errands to run just so you don’t have to do them on your own. 

He tries, and often fails, to cook you breakfast when you stay over. He brings you coffees, or lunch. He looks at you like you’re the moon and the stars. People have teased for years that you could be psychically connected. That you were cosmically united. That it was fate for Vernon to move into the house down the street from you when you were nine. To be the only other child your age on the block. 

Two people, perfect for one another, lives intertwined eternally by fate. Or, in other words…

“Are you…?” He asks, breaking the quiet that has only been filled with your cloud-forming breaths. 

“Give me a second,” you breathe. There’s no doubt in your mind.

One. 

You lean forward to kiss him softly, free hand settling against the side of his neck. In the February chill, Vernon freezes, no part of his body reacting to you except for his lips. Though they twitch in a gasp, they press back against yours as if he isn’t even thinking about doing it. As if it’s instinctual. As if he was always supposed to kiss you – as if he’s your…

There it all is, when you finally pull away.

Brown eyes, framed by fluttering lashes that untangle from one another to finally see you, too. Brown, you know, because when you asked your mother to tell you about Vernon’s colours when you were younger, that was the only one she told you, saying everything else might change when he got older. Warm, brown eyes. Glistening with every blink, blink, blink of the bulb above you. Pupils slowly dilating, drowning the colours out of view. You see his lids shoot wide as he realises, as he glances left and right, as he takes this new world in for the first time, too. 

“I knew it,” you say on a stuttered breath, so overwhelmed you could cry. “My soulmate.”

A brilliant smile threatens to split Vernon’s features in two as he cups your cheeks and pulls you back to him, kissing you again, and again, and again. 

“I know you are,” he says against your lips, his bare thumbs pink and cold as they press into your skin. And, before you can kiss him quiet – “but what ‘m I?”

thank u so much for reading, i really hope you enjoyed this. as always, your likes/reblogs/comments and feedback are always deeply appreciated.&lt;3

This book should be considered a radblr staple!

Radfem Reading MASTERPOST

Discover Radical Feminism

Radical Feminist Library

FemLit

Radclub Library

Liberation Library

“A well-read woman is a dangerous creature”

Andrea Dworkin complete works

A collection of 100+ books of significance to anarchist and radical feminist history and theory

Feminist texts written by women of colour

Ecofeminism

Revolutionary Socialist Readings

books - Gender Critical

on deconstructing queer theory

on compulsory femininity/the beauty myth

books from a lesbian history and literature course

50 books by black authors

science related non-fiction by women

some women’s history recommendations

some new-ish radfem books

some anti-post-structuralist references

some books by female authors

some more books by female authors

some radfem favourite novels

some short stories

my own old reading list (planning to make a new one at some point)

post on finding books online

more getting stuff online

I know it’s not reading but feminist vhs archive youtube

some podcast recommendations

some radfem youtubers

My Dianic/Female Centered witch reading list (will update as I get more)!

The Holy Book of Women’s Mysteries by Z. Budapest (because obviously)

The Chalice and the Blade by Riane Eisler

Who Cooked the Last Supper? by Rosalind Miles

The Skeptical Feminist by Barbara G. Walker

The Spiral Dance by Starhawk

Women’s Rites, Women’s Mysteries by Ruth Barrett

The Pagan Book of Living and Dying by Starhawk

Moon Time by Lucy H. Pearce

Witches, Midwives, and Nurses by Barbara Ehrenreich and Deirdre English

Women Who Run With The Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes

WomanRunes by Starhawk and Molly Remer

Whole and Holy: A Goddess Devotional by Molly Remer

You are the Placebo by Joe Dispenza

The Power of Ritual by Casper Ter Kuile

Feel free to leave some recommendations! I really like hearing especially about non-pagan books that influenced your practice (like the last two listed here were for me)!

Blessed be! 🌙💫✨

Spooky horror book recs~

Just thought I'd share some horror books I've read and enjoyed in the last couple years for anyone who wants to get spooky in October.

These are in no particular order. Also be aware that some may have disturbing content or triggers so do your own research before reading.

(Starting with a bunch by @tkingfisher because I have loved all her books thus far. Great combination of horror, fantasy, and comedic relief.)

What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher (re-telling of The Fall of the House of Usher)

The Twisted Ones by T. Kingfisher (fae folklore horror based on The White People)

The Hollow Places by T. Kingfisher (alternate universe w/strange beings)

The Watchers by A.M. Shine (much better than the movie if you've seen it)

Come Closer by Sara Gran (demonic possession from the pov of the possessed)

Slewfoot by Brom (best witch-themed book I've read, loved the main character)

Winterset Hollow by Jonathan Edward Durham (was lukewarm about the human characters, but the concept was super original)

Stolen Tongues by Felix Blackwell (very creepy in the beginning and scary concept, dragged a bit by the end)

The Year of the Witching by Alexis Henderson (young woman and some lesbian forest witches vs. an oppressive church)

The Butterfly Garden by @dothutchison (kidnapped girls, crime/horor)

The Fiends in the Furrows: An Anthology of Folk Horror (there are three of these anthologies, I liked the first one the most)

Feel free to add our own recommendations, always looking for more horror to read!

You've heard of Plato, you know Aristotle, now get ready for..... Women philosophers of ancient greece!

A

Abrotelia

Aedesia

Aesara

Arete of Cyrene

Arignote

Asclepigenia

Aspasia

Axiothea of Phlius

B

Batis of Lampsacus

C

Cleopatra the Alchemist

D

Damo (philosopher)

Diotima of Mantinea

H

Hipparchia of Maroneia

Hypatia

L

Lastheneia of Mantinea

Leontion

M

Melissa (philosopher)

Myia

N

Nicarete of Megara

P

Perictione

Phintys

Ptolemais of Cyrene

S

Sosipatra

T

Theano (philosopher)

Themista of Lampsacus

Themistoclea

Theodora of Emesa

Timycha

I’ve been following you for I don’t know how long and I’ve only just now learned that you have books… plural… Like… multible books written and published and on sale for me to buy right now 🤯

Me: I better not reblog my work too often or people will get annoyed and think I'm bragging or pushing it on them 🥴

Followers: You wrote a book???

everyone go read electrostatic potential, sacred new beginnings, one crowded hour, chasing the aurora and a leap of faith because these fics are sexy af. and stan tenrose and rose tyler ✌️

Thank you for including my story 😭💜 it absolutely made my day!!

Lee Minho Fic Recs

Updated June 2, 2024

🔞 Minors DNI. NSFW

💜 All time fav

📱 SMAU

Series (In Progress) 🔜

Instead of You 🔞💜 (this series is so good. I actually subscribed to their Kofi specifically for this story)- @sluttywonwoo

The Story of Another Us - @emilyssky

Hello Stranger 🔞💜 - @tasteleeknow-remade

Crown - @sailorrlino

God Sent Me as Karma - @liknws

Tooth and Claw 🔞💜 - @comet-falls

Wishful Thinking 🔞 @withleeknow

Numb 🔞💜 - @2chopsticks2eyes

Million Dollar Man 🔞 - @ybklix

Limbo 🔞 - @moonlightndaydreams

Limbo - @hwangism143

One Shots 💥

Pudding (Sequel to Bubblegum) 🔞💜 - @cb97percent

Horizontal Hierarchy 🔞 - @cb97percent

Soju 🔞💜 (there’s a part one American Whiskey BC focus) - @straywrds

Bunny 🔞 pt. 1, pt.2 - @tasteleeknow

Enemies to Lovers Project - @softukiyos

Leave the Door Open 🔞💜 - @formidxble

Good to Me 🔞 - @daizymax

Everything and No One 🔞💜 - @tasteleeknow

The Color of Your Blush 🔞 - @2chopsticks2eyes

Find Me (Inside Every Heartbeat) 🔞 - @cb97percent

Pet Names 🔞💜 - @2chopsticks2eyes

Well Shit 🔞💜 - @2chopsticks2eyes

A Fairytale That Lasts 💜 - @jeonginks (on AO3. You guys need to check out the rest of their work on AO3! Their stuff is so good!)

I’m My Mother’s Daughter 🔞💜 - @jisungparker

By Now 🔞💜 - @straylightdream

Billionaire Lee Minho & His Plaything 🔞💜 - @daydreams-after-dark

Submission 🔞 - @daydreams-after-dark

Vivid 💜 - @chaninfused

Danse Macabre - @chaninfused

Of Course, Professor 🔞💜 - @amethystwrytes

Series (Completed) 💯✔️

Friends with Benefits 🔞 - @starrgaziinggg

What You Deserve 🔞💜 - @2chopsticks2eyes pt. 1, pt. 2, pt. 3

Trustfall - @mintymiknow

One Last Dance - @feelbokkie

Blue Side of the Sky 🔞- @hyunfilms

Cupid’s Christmas (on AO3) 🔞💜 - @ballelino

Wedding Season (on AO3) 🔞💜 - @ballelino

A New Kind of Love 🔞💜 - @weareapackofstrays

Invisible Thread - @astraystayyh pt. 1, pt. 2

The Experience Project 🔞 - @leeknowsallyoursecrets

A Marriage Story - @scxrlettwxtches pt. 1, pt. 2

Who You Are, Who I Am - @hanibalistic pt. 1, pt. 2, pt. 3

Aphrodisiacs 🔞💜 - @cb97percent

«do you believe in fate?»

― pairing : Hongjoong x fem! reader ― content warnings : soulmates au, angst with a happy ending, magic au, super soft smut, very soft sapphic kiss, kinda avatar au, reader uses the force (not really, but also kinda a bit), locations and sceneries are inspired from Black Desert Online as always , big LOTR reference cause I'ma huge tolkien nerd,⚠️ mention of violence, mention of torture, mention of death, , mention of panic attacks, temporary major character death, mentions of pregancy, mentions of throwing up⚠️ ― word count : 42k ― notes : she's back. she's longer. she's a one shot // special thank you to my girlies @stressedfranya and @helav98, this fic wouldn't have existed if not for your support and our continuous brainstorming // Lea's character is inspired from my lovely and beloved @minbiny, aka my wonderful soulmate.

― notes : take a look at the deities! Karanda - Goddess of Air // Garmoth - God of Fire // Vell - God of Water // Offin - Goddess of Earth // Kzarka - God of Rot and Corruption // credits for the deities amazing gifsets and pics: @unikornu

― summary :

Blinded by the desire of revenge, you find yourself travelling with a group of mercenaries while pretending to be a boy. Magic, love, friendship, lies and secrets are tightly intertwined in what will be both your fate and the destiny of countless other people.

SEQUEL 🔮 : «Flames to Dust.» (coming soon!)

PROLOGUE

Magic was pretty common in the world; actually, some could even say it had somehow became an essential resource in the everyday life. During the years, everyone had slowly but inevitably got used to it, and even if people weren’t born with the natural gift of magic – after few years of constant practice, they could still learn how to perform few simple spells.

However, elemental magic was definitely not that common. Elemental magic meant that there were people who were born not only with the gift of magic, but also with the blessing of controlling one of the four elements.

“Children of Nature,” they were called; those who could effortlessly bend one of the four elements to their will.

Fire, Air, Earth, Water: four were the deities who gave birth to their children, blessing – or cursing, them with a human form without almost never meeting them, but providing them with the gift of illimitate power.

Slowly, however, the admiration towards the children of Nature turned into envy, and the Serendia Shrine was created almost out of nowhere.

Situated at the foot of a mountain, the Shrine continued inside it, through long and narrow corridors and steel cages; no one knew where it ended, only that it was better to stay away from it. The Serendia Shrine was populated by disciples who could not use elemental magic but they irremediably craved it, doing everything to snatch it from those who naturally possessed this gift. There were numerous experiments conducted on kidnapped people; numerous failed attempts had been made until, after many years of fatigue and wasted blood, the disciples managed to find a solution to be able to use elemental magic even if they did not possess the natural gift: magic crystals.

This is where you, child of Air with very few memories of your past, come into play.  The only memories you have are those in which you were snatched away from your mother’s embrace, to be carried into the Serendia Shrine against your will by none other than their leader: your father. After long years of suffering, your hatred got the best of you and therefore you decided to escape, stealing one of the disciples’ black and red robe and killing any and every disciple which had questioned your way out.

As your steps conducted you outside and you realized you were free, your only goal became the one of becoming strong enough to destroy the Shrine once and for all. Blinded by the desire of revenge, you find yourself travelling with a group of eight mysterious mercenaries while pretending to be a boy. Magic, love, friendship, lies and secrets are tightly intertwined in what will be both your fate and the destiny of countless other people.

Will you be strong enough?

CHAPTER I

“Come on,” you thought, urging yourself to walk a little faster, even if you had already put a more than reassuring distance between you and the Serendia Shrine; the feeling of walking out of its rocky and humid walls as a free woman was something you’ll probably remember for the rest of your days, since you’ve been spending there almost your whole life.

With your hair safely tied up into a loose braid you hid your identity under a worn cape, ready to face the world, ready to become stronger; you managed to steal some clothes on your way out – nothing too elaborate, just a pair of leather pants, a pair of boots, a cotton shirt and a jacket. If you were lucky, you could have given the impression of being a boy since you’ve heard tremendous stories about what could happen to girls which travelled by themselves.

However, despite the fact that it wasn’t the first time you were seeing the world outside the Shrine, you had to reluctantly admit to yourself that you didn’t know much about it and therefore, you deduced that first of all, you had to learn how to survive on your own. Honestly, you were thankful to one of the prisoners you met in the Shrine for teaching you a curious and yet useful spell: not only your hood wasn't going to move from your head but your features would have been percieved as a faint blur by the people trying to peek into it. Of course, they wouldn't think you were some kind of monster who jumped straight out a horror folklore legend, instead, they would simply forget your features as soon as they looked away from your face. Clearly, the effect of the spell would vanish as soon as you took off your hood. «Why are you teaching this to me?» you had curiously asked back then. «Girls protect girls, little one.» the lady had replied without further explanation, and you decided not to ask any further questions.

During the years spent as a prisoner, there were many people – younger or older, with whom you somehow managed to become friends with, despite you already knew about their fate; anyone who was taken prisoner by the Shrine’s disciples would have never gotten out of it. 

The Shrine’s disciples managed to find a way to absorb elemental magic directly from those who had said blessing, only to transfuse it into crystals, which in turn were set in wooden staffs or otherwise, inserted into jewels that they exhibited above their vests in a clear warning of what would have happened. Although they knew what awaited them, the children of Nature you’ve met have always been kind to you, telling you about the outside world as best as they could, but also, telling you about their villages; it was curious, how during the years you’ve felt the desire of revenge slowly and steadily growing inside you until you were so blinded by it that you decided to run away towards an uncertain fate. The belief of you alone avenging or saving all of them was surely stupid and selfish, but it was the only thing you could hold on to at the moment.

The sound of the wind gently moving the leaves and the songs of nocturnal animals were your only source of company as you spent the night roaming free around the woods while looking for the nearest village; you were sure you could have either found some help, or managed to steal some money to get yourself some food and – or, a shelter for few days.

As if your steps were being led by some sort of invisible thread pulling on your fingers, you made your way careful not to trip on any tree root, until a small bonfire caught your attention; using your elemental magic, you made it so that your footsteps were soundless, so that you could approach the small group laying around it without alerting anyone of them.

Carefully making your way towards them, you hid behind the trees, while trying to briefly study the situation: apparently, all of them were sleeping and – strangely enough, no one was keeping guard. It was a small group, you noticed, seven people were spreaded around the bonfire while sleeping in various positions; you furrowed your brows for a moment with an incredulous smile, aware that this could have indeed been an excellent occasion to steal some of their money and flee. As cautious as you could be, you hesitantly walked towards one of them, kneeling next to him and slowly moving the boy’s cape from his sleeping frame just enough to uncover his waist, hoping he kept his money attached to his belt.

“Turns out, boys are predictable,” you thought briefly, as you quickly untied the leather cords connecting the small bag containing the coins to his belt.

However, as you felt something cold pressed against your neck, you petrified; as your eyes immediately counted again the number of boys sleeping, you shut your eyes, silently cursing your own naivety for not having suspected that one of them could have simply hidden himself.

«You might want to put that back down.» someone said from behind you, and you immediately tossed the small bag on the floor with a scoff, waking up the boy in front of you as well.

Turns out, the people in the group you were trying to rob were eight, and you ended up with your wrists tightly tied up with an unfamiliar rope made with some kind of tree root; anytime you tried tugging on it with all your strength, the roots seemed to get tighter instead of loosen, and eventually you decided to give up with a strained hiss, your wrists falling on your lap as you sat cross legged on the floor.

«Nice done, Jongho.» a boy with faint red hair was stretching his arms upwards, as he praised the boy which had earlier pointed a blade to your neck.

Now, the current situation was not how you expected for your new life to start; you quickly studied your surroundings, noticing with deject that the chances of you managing to escape were equivalent to zero, since they were basically standing in circle around you.

«Thinking about running away?» the boy with faint red hair scoffed with an amused smile, re-arranging the eyepatch on his right eye, «Not so smart, aren’t you?» you felt your cheeks heaten both in shame and both with the desire to kick him in the face, but sadly enough, you couldn’t do any of the sort.

Despite the fact that you were in the middle of the woods during a starless night, somehow, you could perfectly see all of them; it was almost as if the bonfire behind you was burning a little brighter than before.

«Cut it out, Hongjoong,» an exasperated groan came from somewhere on your left, and a slim, tall boy with raven black hair walked towards your direction, only to crouch down in front of you; his features were sharp, and he most definitely looked handsome.

Even if the fact that he was extremely wary of your presence was clearly written in his eyes, he tried to give you a gentle and reassuring smile. The boy kept curiously try to meet your gaze from under your hood, action which you meticulously avoided, due to your head continuously turning in some other different direction, «I don't see any weapon on him, he probably ran away from somewhere.» he finally commented. 

Secretly, you smiled to yourself; they didn’t realize you were a girl, and they didn't notice your spell, meaning that your plan succeeded at least in one small detail; you felt Hongjoong’ s gaze fixed on you, in the meticulous attempt to study any and everyone of your moves.

«Did you run away from your village?» the nice boy tried again, noticing how you seemed kinda anxious as you were nervously playing with your fingertips - as much as the ropes allowed you to, and you simply nodded at him, hoping he wouldn't question you further since, honestly, you thought you had a little more time to come up with an actual elaborated lie about your whole life.

«Trying your luck with us?» a lively voice giggled, before an unfamiliar face immediately appeared next to the boy already in front of you; he was staring at you with narrow and calculative eyes and a cunning smile, as he sat on the grass while mirroring your cross-legged position, «Do you even know who we are?» he questioned, tilting his head.  Among the group, he was probably the one with the most outstanding hairstyle: longish black hair were falling on his eyes and bright red highlights were covering the top part of his head. The mere tone of his voice was more than enough to send shivers down your spine; of course you didn’t know who these people were, you’ve been living in a Shrine until few hours earlier, how could you?

As you quickly shook your head keeping your eyes locked on the ground, you didn’t notice the two boys in front of you exchanging a doubtful gaze; the boy with black hair reached out in order to take the hood off of your face, and instinctively, you immediately bent your head and covered it with your tied wrists.  Now that you weren’t looking at them anymore, you were completely oblivious that the group was glancing at each other with concerned and puzzled gazes.

«It’s okay, we won’t remove it,» Hongjoong spoke, his voice sounding imperceptibly gentler – almost as if he took pity on you, «but you’re still coming with us.»

«What for?» a short boy with blonde hair questioned with a sigh, not attempting to hide his annoyed voice.

«I have a bad feeling about this,» Hongjoong simply said, nodding towards your direction, «he’ll stay with us until we’ll arrive at the Capital, then we'll part ways.»

«Can we go back to sleep, now?» a tall, blonde boy questioned, stretching his arms over his head with a tired yawn; Hongjoong simply nodded at him, allowing everyone to go back to sleep, since he would have kept watch. 

Needless to say, even if few hours were remaining until dawn, you didn’t close your eyes for a second; aware that Hongjoong’s gaze was sometimes glancing at you, you kept yours strictly on the bonfire, while a whirlwind of thoughts were running through your mind.

Even thought they saw that you didn’t carry any kind of weapon with you, for all they knew, you could have been able to use elemental magic, thing which made you a slight threat; therefore, the fact that they seemed so relaxed about your presence – not bothering to tie you up beside the weird handcuffs around your wrists, made you actually wonder who these people were and how dangerous they could be.

-

Morning came rather quickly, and as the group had completely woken up, they started to formally introduce themselves to you as they were cooking a small and humble ratio of breakfast.

«Don’t you have a name?» San – the boy with the outstanding hairstyle, questioned while tilting his head towards you.

“Now, that’s a problem,” you thought; of course you had a name, but if you actually introduced yourself, they would have easily found out the truth, and who knows what would have happened if they found out you were lying about your identity.

Somehow, shaking your head with a weak movement seemed the best solution, and from the corner of your eyes, you saw Hongjoong snorting in obvious disbelief, clearly not believing you.

«How come you don’t?» Mingi – a blonde tall boy, asked you while munching on a piece of bread; unlike Hongjoong, he seemed to believe you.

«I just don’t.» you said, forcing your voice to come out a little rougher in order to actually pretend you were a boy; you realized that the most of them were doubting you, you couldn’t actually blame them for being wary of your sudden appearance.

Before they could question you even further, a small loaf of bread appeared in front of your eyes, and your head snapped towards your left; Yunho had his hand outstretched, waiting for you to take it while keeping a serious expression.

«Do we have enough food to share, now?» Wooyoung questioned his friend, running a hand through his raven black hair.

«Quit it, Wooyoung,» he immediately retorted, «his stomach is begging for food, I can hear it from over here.» Yunho glanced back at you, and you took the loaf he was handing you and quickly bit into it, ignoring your own embarrassment about someone hearing your stomach rumble since you couldn’t remember the last time you ate.

«Well, he’s definitely not a threat,» Yeosang snorted, and you stopped munching on your food, confused at his sudden statement, «it could have been poisoned, for all you know.» he pointed out, and you had to refrain yourself from spitting the food on the ground as fast as you could.

«It’s not like we all poison people’s food; not everyone is a scheming snake like you, Yeosang.» Jongho mumbled, not taking his attention from his breakfast.

From the other side of the bonfire, your eyes naturally glanced towards Hongjoong, which was mumbling something to Seonghwa; they seemed to have a small argument which you obviously couldn’t hear. You noticed Hongjoong’s gaze glance towards the woods behind Seonghwa, and as you tried to study the gold patterns embroided on his eyepatch, you wondered which one of them was the leader of the group. Judging from what you saw, Seonghwa was definitely nice and reliable, but judging by what happened during the night, you deduced that Hongjoong must have been their leader.

Clearly, you were oblivious about the fat that during their small argument Hongjoong and Seonghwa hypothesized about who you could be and where you could have have ran away from. Hongjoong’s gaze had wondered south, as a well defined image briefly flashed through his mind: a circular square with a small sacrificial altar in the centre, statues of faceless hooded disciples holding crystals, and a dark entrance at the foot of a mountain.

As soon as breakfast started, it eventually ended, and you found yourself hesitantly walking with them towards the spot where they carefully hid their horses. Something snapped inside you, just like during the long years of your captivity you had managed to learn to understand who you could trust and you couldn’t; it was strange how you felt that -  with time, you could somehow eventually grow to trust a bunch of mysterious and threatening strangers about whom you didn’t know anything, strangers who, moreover were still keeping you tied up.

«He’ll ride with me,» Hongjoong simply stated before the others could ask anything, climbing on his horse and leaning back on his saddle in order to give you enough space to sit in front of him; you stood there, motionless, oblivious on how you were supposed to get up when your wrists were tied. Also, if you were to be honest, you’ve never been on a horse – nor you’ve ever seen one up close, and you were quite scared.

«I can’t believe this,» Hongjoong sighed, but eventually outstretched his hand towards you, waiting for you to take it, so that he could help you climb on; Hongjoong’s hand was incredibly warm, and it sent a weird feeling you couldn’t decipher through your soul since, as soon as your hands came in contact, he had roughly pulled you up.

Needless to say, you’ve never been close to anyone in your life, let alone sharing a saddle on top of a horse; you tried to press yourself towards the front part of the leather saddle as much as you could, in order to leave some space between the two of you, thing which you had to immediately give up as soon as Hongjoong urged the horse to move forwards.

After hours spent travelling at a quick pace, you still refused to give up on gripping at the saddle’s horn with your left hand as if your life depended on it; you were sure you wouldn’t have fallen off the horse since Hongjoong’s arms were around you in order to hold the reigns but still, you were still scared.

«If you don’t stop squirming, I’ll kick you down myself.» Hongjoong’s voice said from behind you, and if you hadn’t been so close, you would have never heard it due to the strong wind hitting your faces; you sighed, tightening your hands on the saddle in a desperate attempt not to fall off, but also in the attempt of not turning around and punch the boy right into his face.

The sun was shining on the first day of your new life, as you wondered what did you get yourself into.

CHAPTER II

Riding a horse was probably one of the worst experiences of your whole life, and judging what you've been through, this was quite a sentence; although Hongjoong had always paid attention and tried not to ride too fast, he also had prevented you from falling off the saddle more times than he could have ever imagined.

«Where did you even live?» you heard him mutter with incredulous stupor as Seonghwa had to help you get off the horse anytime you stopped.

«Where did he learn his manners?» you mumbled back once, only for Seonghwa to hear, who simply laughed at your comment.

The travel towards the Capital had lasted for a whole day, and you and Hongjoong kept occasionally bickering like cat and dog; you obviously couldn’t know that no one had ever challenged Hongjoong’s authority at the point of talking back anytime he said something, and therefore, you couldn’t know that the rest of the group found this new source of entertainment more than amusing.

Although the reason why you didn’t want to take your hood off in front of them remained a mystery, but somehow, they still respected it.

«Maybe he has a huge scar on his face.» Mingi had supposed, but even if you shook your head to say he was wrong, no one ever tried to look too much into it; you had your reasons for not wanting to reveal your identity, and somehow they seemed to respect it, even if they were still wary of your presence.

-

Seonghwa helped you climb down your horse as soon as you reached the Capital’s stables, his eyes trying to study as much as he could the facial features your hood didn’t manage to hide.

«Are you sure you’re going to be okay?» Seonghwa questioned you, as Hongjoong was busy paying the stable keeper; you eyed him questioningly, not used to any kind of concern, especially since you’ve spent no more than one day with them. You didn’t know how to honestly answer to him and therefore you decided to nod, and eventually, you and the others parted ways. 

«I hate to repeat myself,» you heard Hongjoong say to the others, «but I have a really bad feeling about this.» whether anyone answered him or not, you didn’t know, since you turned left in the first alleyway you saw.

Despite all the stories you’ve heard while you were living in the Shrine, the way you imagined the Capital did not correspond to reality in the least; wealth and poverty coexisted in the same reality as a spiral that continued to intertwine and influence each other. You had no idea about how a riot could be happening in a part of town, and immediately afterwards you could hear lively voices and loud chattering coming from a banquet happening in a private garden, but that was exactly what was happening. 

The sun of a blossoming spring shone in the sky and on your footsteps as you made your way through the alleyways walked by the most bizarre people; you didn’t know where you were going, nor what you were going to do but, since it was early in the afternoon, you figured out that you could always explore a little bit.

-

From the moment you had parted ways, the group agreed that the only way to find out whether you were lying or hiding something was to let an expert assassin follow your every step and therefore, unbeknownst to you, your steps were meticulously followed by someone more agile and silent than the fog that quietly settles on the countrysides during the night; San – under Hongjoong’s order, was following you around with extreme precision, careful not to alert anyone else about his ministrations.

Despite few hours had gone by, however, San was extremely bored; not only you were aimlessly strolling around the city, but you didn’t seem to have any destination in mind. San noticed how easily you ended up getting lost, meaning that you absolutely weren’t familiar with the city and therefore, you couldn’t be a spy. He also noticed how frequently you stopped to in order to admire the trivial things: statues, columns carved in a particular way, wandering musicians singing in small squares and entertaining all sort of people. San was indeed quite puzzled at the sight, because it was almost as if you've almost never what the outside world looked like - it couldn't be, right?

Hongjoong’s instinct was close to being infallible but still, during the hours he had spent following you around, San couldn’t understand why would his leader be so worried about his own presentiments; only when he saw you turn towards the direction of the square where he had to meet with Hongjoongin order to report what he had found out, San’s sudden smile was safely protected by the shadows.

«Well, little hood,» he mumbled to himself, «could it be that fate is leading your path?»

The capital was so beautiful that at times it took your breath away; you were completely aware about the fact that you spent almost half an hour staring at the marble statue in the main square, but it was almost as if you couldn’t take your eyes off of it. For a start, it was gigantic, almost completely carved from white marble; the figure of a warrior on a horse was holding a golden spear which was pointed at the figure of a dragon lying on the ground. As your eyes meticulously studied it, you wondered if dragons really existed; well, anything could have been possible, since you had spent the most of your life locked away.

Eventually, as you noticed that the colours of the sky were gradually becoming darker, you decided to take the alleyway on your left, once again as if it you were being pulled by an invisible force; your steps led you to another district, which you could easily identify as the local market.

To say that the market was humble was an understatement, your gaze stretched out between stalls of all kinds and people intent on negotiating for their purchases; once again, the different social classes seemed to live in a subspecies of fragile and tacit equilibrium that no one tried to shatter. With a dejected sigh you walked forwards, a wave of sadness clouding your senses since you’ve been really missing out on everyday life; a sudden harsh tug on your wrist forced you to stop, and you momentarily hissed at the pain of the stranger’s tight hold pressing over the faint bruises of the ropes you've been wearing all night.

«Don’t you know what we do to thieves around here?» a gruff voice addressed you, and you panicked; the man was easily towering over you, and his clothes seemed to be of a fairly fine fabric.

«I didn’t steal anything!» you retorted immediately, noticing how this small scene had caught the attention of few people which were standing around you.  To put it simply, you were terrified; not only you were innocent, you didn’t understand how you could have been blamed when you tried to avoid walking too close to the vendor’s tables. 

Maybe it was a coincidence, or maybe not, but after few everlasting minutes of arguing about your innocence, a way too familiar voice called the man out. 

«You should let him go, before my boss finds out - you know, dragons have a pretty good hearing.» your head snapped on your right, where you saw San’s slim figure sitting on the booth full of fabric that the man had momentarily left unattended in order to claim that you had stolen something from him. San briefly winked at you in recognition, even thought he couldn’t completely be sure that your eyes met, since you had been more than careful about always wearing your hood. 

«Is he one of your crew?» the man’s gruff and accusatory tone had completely disappeared as he turned his attention towards San, and you curiously noticed how he seemed to have paled at the sight.

Even thought your wrist was still in a vice hold, your gaze shifted between him and San; to earn such a scared reaction, who exactly did you travel with?

«You should stop using these tricks, they’re getting old.» you heard Hongjoong’s voice suddenly said, and you turned your head towards him – which almost appeared out of nowhere. 

Hongjoong’s faint red hair was gently moved by the late afternoon breeze, and the gold embroidery on the eyepatch he was wearing on his right eye almost seemed to glow under the sunlight. His features were delicate and well defined, and the serious and menacing gaze with which he was staring at the merchant was enough to send chills down your spine; for the first time, you had to admit to yourself that he was indeed handsome. 

«You might be the one using tricks, Dragon,» the merchant spat, and since your gaze was still locked on Hongjoong, you saw that he raised his left eyebrow and rolled his eyes in annoyance, «the boy is a thief, and thieves must-»

«Is he saying the truth?» Hongjoong questioned you, cutting off the man’s sentence; his gaze burned into yours and despite his tone wasn’t as harsh as the one he had used to refer to the man, it was still strict. 

«No, I didn’t!» you immediately admitted, and Hongjoong glanced at the man once again.

«I can’t really put into words how annoying you are, Alustin,» Hongjoong sighed, and started walking forward; «you know, I could always alert the authorities about your… illegal interests.» Hongjoong chuckled as he easily circled you while walking with a slow pace, halting his steps only when he was somehow standing between you and the merchant – Alustin. 

«A mercenary alerting authorities? Is that another trick of yours?» Alustin spat, and Hongjoong didn’t miss your pained hiss, as the man seemed to have tightened his fist around your wrist once again. 

«You’re probably confused: as a mercenary, I currently work for the Capital’s Chief,» Hongjoong explained, slowly uttering each word as if he was talking to a child and not to a man twice his age, «but you, you’re the leader of the Merchants’ Guild; can you imagine how big the scandal would be?» with a pleased smirk, Hongjoong slowly lifted his hand and circled Alustin’s left wrist; immediately, Alustin let go of your wrist, as if he had been burned by an incandescent flame; you stared at him in confusion, since you didn’t notice any particularly different feeling on your skin. 

«You can’t always act like you own the place, Dragon.» Alustin spat with arrogance, but by now, Hongjoong had already started to walk away, turning his head a little bit only to motion to both you and San to follow him, order to which you immediately complied. 

Alustin’s voice was just a muffled noise now lost among the sea of people; your gaze was locked on Hongjoong’s shoulders as he was walking few steps ahead you and San, which was walking next to you with his fingers intertwined behind his nape and his elbows towards the sky.

The scene kept replaying in your mind as your heart was still hammering in your chest, your thoughts running wild, especially towards a very special way that Alustin used to address Hongjoong. 

«Why did he call him like that?» you questioned San, hoping that Hongjoong wouldn’t hear you. 

«Hm?» San hummed, momentarily confused at your sudden question. 

«Why did he call him “Dragon”?» you asked, “is he a child of fire?” you thought. 

«It’s not for me to tell,» San shrugged, «eventually, he’ll tell you about it at some point.» San’s answer was short, but yet you completely understood what he meant; after all, you were the one hiding everything about you from the world since you didn’t know who you could trust.

«How did you know I needed help?» you questioned him again few moments later, not completely sure whether you wanted to know; you’ve heard that they were mercenaries, and therefore, you had quite an idea of how dangerous they could be. 

San shrugged again, a mysterious smile plastered on his lips, «I don’t know, little hood,» he quickly glanced towards you, «must have been fate.»

Once the streets had gradually emptied of people, you noticed that Hongjoong was heading towards an inn, probably in order to meet up with the others; as soon as you were in front of the heavy wooden door, Hongjoong kept it open for you and San to get in, mumbling a quiet «don’t cause troubles,» before eventually closing the door behind himself.

Well, you were right; both Hongjoong and San were meeting their friends at the inn and you were sure you were going to remember the others’ faces for a long time; Mingi, Yunho and Wooyoung widened their eyes in surprise, while Seonghwa and Jongho scoffed while somehow hiding a smile.

«I knew it!» Yeosang said, clapping his hands once; he had been the only one to actually say something about the fact that you didn’t manage to spend a day by yourself, «You lost, buddy!» he added, lifting the palm of his hands towards Mingi, which reached for his pocket money with a groan; you followed the action with furrowed brows, did they bet on you?

As you finally were having dinner, Seonghwa briefly met your gaze from across the table, and with a sly smile, he placed his elbows on the wooden surface, only to delicately place his chin on the palm of his hands. 

«So, Hongjoong, what does it mean?» he questioned, looking at his leader with an amused expression; Hongjoong sighed, rubbing his temples. He was aware that it was a bit too late for thinking about the consequences of saving you again, but he couldn’t simply ignore you back then.

Not like he could leave you wandering all alone through the Capital, considering what had happened few minutes earlier; as you waited for his answer, your gaze was locked on Hongjoong, which was quietly sipping on his chalice of beer as he stared at the door, lost in thoughts. 

San had already reported what he saw to Hongjoong, and the young boy definitely understood that you were too naive to be a spy; slowly, the suspect of you being a former prisoner of the Serendia Shrine was forming in his thoughts, but only time could have confirmed it. There was some strange pull that was convincing him to keep you with them; despite he didn’t know how things would have turned out, he decided to follow his instinct, as he always did.

«He’ll stay with us.» Hongjoong said at last, and your heart picked up pace; for a brief moment, San throw one arm over your shoulder with an amused laugh, telling the others that «what did I tell you?», and you wondered why Wooyoung had briefly glanced at you with narrowed eyes.

«So, you adopted another one?» Yunho joked, and Hongjoong scoffed while hiding a smile. 

«Can you use magic?» Wooyoung questioned you, and you almost choked on the water you were finally drinking; of course you could, you were a child of Air, but despite the fact that they had just saved you and offered you to stay with them, you didn’t know whether you could trust them. 

«A little bit,» you answered him, «just some basic healing spells.» luckily, they seemed pleased with your answer; since healing magic could definitely come in hand. 

«Can you fight?» Yunho curiously asked, and you shook your head; sadly, you were forced to admit to yourself that from that point of view you were useless, and you hoped that it didn’t influence Hongjoong’s decision to keep you with them. 

«We’ll teach you, don't worry.» Jongho’s answer surprised you, and you found yourself nodding and thanking them. 

Your visit to the capital ended the following morning; you were surprised about the fact that they let you sleep in a room by yourself but once again, you realized that if they let you do something like that, it was because they already thought about the consequences.

Since from the moment you managed to escape the Serendia Shrine, you had decided that you were indeed a woman on a mission, you knew that risking to fight a whole group of mercenaries on your second day of freedom was definitely not in your agenda, and that night, you happily washed yourself – enjoying the feeling of finally taking off the bandages tightly wrapped around your chest, and fell asleep on a soft mattress, sleeping peacefully until dawn.

«I don’t get a horse?» you questioned, as your gaze repeatedly shifted towards Hongjoong’s outstretched hand and the empty part of the saddle in front of him.

«And risk you running away? Not a chance.» he answered, urging you to move by moving his fingertips; with a sigh, you let him help you, secretly glad that you somehow had a place to stay.

«Hurry up, or we’re leaving you here!» Wooyoung lively called out, as he was joining the others which were already riding in a slow pace towards the gates of the Capital.

«We’re coming!» Hongjoong answered back with a loud voice, only to lower his tone once again to talk to you, «Plus, you can’t even stay on a horse while I’m riding,» he chuckled, mocking you once you had completely seated on the horse; immediately, you turned your head left, his nose brushing against the exposed part of your cheek due to how close you were.

«I’ll throw you off.» you threatened, but Hongjoong simply laughed at you, urging the horse to move without further notice and therefore, causing you to gasp loudly and immediately turn your attention forwards.

As your only thoughts were to carefully keep your identity hidden and not to fall off the horse, you couldn’t help but wonder why the sensation of warmth caused by such a brief and unintentional contact seemed to linger on your cheek.

CHAPTER III

As much as you wanted to say that the two weeks spent travelling with Hongjoong and the others had flown by, unfortunately, you couldn’t. Even if you were somehow getting used to travel on a horse – Hongjoong would eventually hand you the reigns for short periods of time right before taking control of the horse as soon as he noticed you were about to panic, you still had to get used to sleep out in the open.

Honestly, you didn’t want to pry in their business; you knew that they had something important to deliver and therefore, you were travelling through unknown shortcuts which were far away from the main streets. Since you were grateful about the fact that not only you were travelling with them but – thanks to them, you were also learning how to fight, you figured out that they would eventually open up with you, telling you more about their business.

Even thought, this trip was proving itself to be a real adventure: for a start, hiding the fact that you were a girl was extremely difficult, especially because anytime you stopped for the night and the others eventually went to wash themselves at the nearby river, you always had to make up excuses in order to go alone. Needless to say, they slowly started to get suspicious, but in the end - thanks to Wooyoung’s suggestion, they simply grew to believe you were shy about your “body proportions”; you had no idea what they meant, but it was better than let them know the truth.

In addition, you realized pretty quickly that they were extremely strict teachers; you couldn’t exactly blame them, since they were mercenaries and therefore you were risking your life on a daily basis with them, but sometimes, you wish they could take it easy.

They were taking turns and, as cliché as it was, Hongjoong had been the first to teach you the basics. That morning, once he had neatly folded his jacket next to Mingi – which was curiously watching, Hongjoong stood in front of you with a smug smile, his hands on his waist as he studied your posture in complete silence.

«Come on, catch me.» he said, unmoving; you furrowed your brows in confusion, but eventually you tried to leap forwards as quickly as you could, only to see that as your hand was about to touch his shirt, he quickly took a step on his left.

«Hongjoong,» you called out through gritted teeth, «you’re not teaching me how to dodge, aren’t you?»

«Of course I am,» Hongjoong said, raising his eyebrow, «lesson number one: if you’re not sure you can face your opponent, try to dodge as much as you can, until you manage to get away.»

“He’s not completely wrong”, you admitted to yourself, your mind instinctively bringing up memories you so desperately wanted to bury; the thing is, you already knew how to dodge punches and kicks, you simply refused to admit it aloud.

Few days later, Seonghwa handed you his sword – your training had somehow become the group’s source of entertainment, and you found yourself facing Hongjoong while trying to multitask as your best: trying to actively respond to his actions, listen to his corrections, but also trying to listen the other’s suggestions about how you could easily tackle him on the ground. 

Hongjoong occasionally laughed at his friend’s suggestion, and as much as you hated to admit, such a small action somehow was able to distract you – contrarily to him, which was able to counter your weak attacks while chatting with the others about the most various things.

«Is that your fighter stance?» Hongjoong had mumbled back then, before eventually letting go of his own sword in order to walk in front of you; he quickly reached out to grip at the helm of your sword over your hand, «tighten your grip, or you’ll sprain your wrist,» he nodded to himself as you immediately followed his instruction, before quietly walking behind you.

«Open up,» something in Hongjoong’s voice made your cheeks heathen in reflex, and you eventually followed his instructions as he gently tapped your calves with the tip of his boot, until he was satisfied about the position of your legs, «now, if we’re lucky, you won’t lose balance and fall like a toddler.» you heard him mumble as he eventually walked back in front of you.

Hongjoong was strict, and even if sometimes you could feel your limbs ache from how much you had trained, you knew he was doing it for your own good, and you silently appreciated it, keeping in your mind his various tips.

Few days later, however, San took his place as your teacher; and if you thought Hongjoong was strict, well, you were in for a surprise. Eventually, you had found out that San was an assassin before joining the group and therefore, he was the best teacher if you ever considered playing dirty during a fight.

«Anytime you draw your sword, you fight in order to get out of it alive, understood, little hood?» San had said one day, after disarming you in less than five minutes and pointing one of his two short swords to your throat; you nodded at him, and he hummed with a satisfied grin, before helping you up.

«Go, little hood, fuck him up!» Yeosang had cheered from near you, and you briefly chuckled at the sudden comment.

Since you told them that you didn’t have a name, “little hood” had slowly become yours, and much to your surprise, you didn’t hate it. Even though your real name hasn’t been pronounced out loud for years, to you “little hood” felt like a nickname, and the fact that they actually decided to adopt San’s suggestion to call you like that instead of referring you as “boy” or “you, there”, somehow made you realize that maybe, they were warming up to your presence.

Eventually, day after day, your fighting teacher kept changing; you realized it was to let you understand as quickly as you could that everyone had his fighting style and everyone was fighting following their own rules, and as much as you were grateful, you found it incredibly difficult to win even a single match against them.

Hongjoong fought using two swords, they weren’t particularly long, but they forced you to constantly keep attention to his movements; he would have never admit it out loud, but sometimes, he decided to use only one of his swords in order to go easy on you.

Seonghwa’s fighting style was incredibly elegant; although he was an archer and therefore specialized in ranged combat and completely used to cover his friend’s backs, he was also a challenge while he used a dagger during hand-to-hand combat.

Wooyoung was an archer as well, but contrarily to Seonghwa, his fighting style consisted into dodging his opponent’s movement, partially to tire them out, partially to study their fighting style and eventual weak point.

Yeosang was also an archer, and his hand-to-hand fighting style was exactly like Wooyoung, with the only exception that he was the only alchemist of the group and therefore, he always made sure that his weapons were covered either with poison or with special stones, which could inflict a serious damage to his opponents. Needless to say, he was in charge to enchant his friends’ weapons as well.

Yunho was the only one fighting with a longsword; he was taller than the others were and therefore, his physique enabled him to handle such a large and heavy weapon with extreme ease.

Mingi was the only one fighting using a spear; it was probably one of the most difficult opponents, since you had to constantly be aware about the fact that he could easily be a threat from a distance as much that he was during hand-to-hand combat. Mingi – just like San, was of the idea that you had to had to learn how to fight dirty, but also, to defend yourself from the most various dishonest tricks which he eventually tried on you.

Jongho’s fighting style was something you’ve never seen before; although the always carried a dagger with him, he fought using his fists. Jongho wore leather gloves with cleverly pointed metal plates, which resulted him to be a threat, considering the fact that he had a lot of strength. Honestly, you lost count of how many times he had stopped with his fist next to your head just to look at you with a polite smile, asking if you wanted to try again and occasionally pointing out if you ever made a mistake.

San fought using two swords just like Hongjoong, but unlike him, he didn’t hold back. Despite everything, everyone had always been extremely careful with not hurting you in any way; as days gone by, you could see your own improvements, thing that irremediably brought a satisfied smile on your face.

Occasionally, even if your training was over, you stayed behind in order to secretly practice on your magic; once you had made sure that no one was around anymore, you tried to create your own fighting style – as Seonghwa had suggested you, and more than once you tried to lift a sword using your own magic. Taking a deep breath, your eyes gradually changed their colour - becoming as grey as the clouds right before a dangerous thunderstorm, as you practiced few combat moves on an imaginary target in front of you, while also trying to move as precisely as you could the sword that was floating next to your body.

Despite your happiness as you reached small goals, you realized that not everything could go according to plan, and one morning, as you were fighting alone with San, he had taken advantage of your distraction and managed to tackle you on the ground.

San was sitting on your stomach while keeping your arms pinned on your sides and he had his eyes open wide. San’s stupor was met with your fearful gaze, since as you fell, the hood you always wore had slightly uncovered your face; although he didn’t realize you were a girl, San could clearly see your features due to the spell almost completely disappearing. And of course, the boy had to tell everyone; you didn’t understand why Wooyoung stared at you with narrowed eyes and eyebrows furrowed as soon as San had told everyone that «our little hood has really pretty eyes,» but yet, you could only hope that San would have never tried to investigate further about your identity. As soon as San dropped the bomb, chaos erupted around the bonfire burning in the middle of your group since, apparently, everyone had been utterly curious about knowing what you actually looked like underneath the hood you so desperately seemed to love; you panicked a little as Mingi and Yeosang started agreeing with Yunho, which was complaining about San being too lucky.

«You know how San is,» Hongjoong spoke, his gaze burning into yours as he was meticulously analysing your body language, «he probably used a stupid trick.» he commented, and San giggled, content about knowing something his friends didn’t.

Despite what happened, no one pushed the matter if not in a joking manner, things you were extremely grateful for.

That night, instead of keeping guard, you walked towards the small clearing next to where the others were sleeping, in order to train a little bit more by yourself.

Extremely attentive to every kind of noise different from the ordinary, you spent few hours practicing surrounded by darkness, partially satisfied because if someone among the group decided to randomly wake up, they wouldn’t know that you were using magic.

Satisfied with your training, as soon as you saw that the sun was about to rise, you decided to collect your things and walk back towards the others in order to wake Wooyoung up so that he could keep guard for few hours while you could have gone to the river in order to take a quick bath. However, before you could even realize, someone harshly grabbed you by the elbow and roughly pressed your back against a tree. A hand was firmly pressed against of your mouth, and you were trying to do anything you could in order not to panic before realizing that Wooyoung was staring at you with narrowed eyes, glaring at you with a scowl.

«So, what are your intentions?» he asked, harshly taking off his hand from your mouth; you furrowed your brows in confusion, aware about the fact that despite the faint sunlight allowing to clearly see everything, he couldn’t properly notice due to the hood casting a partial shadow on your face.

«Excuse me?» you asked, forcing your voice to come out a little bit rougher; he couldn’t have found out about the fact that you could use elemental magic, right?

«San!» he said immediately, as if it was an obvious thing, «Are you planning to steal him from me?»  

«No!» you honestly answered immediately, the last thing you wanted was to ruin couples and get on a mercenary’s bad side; you knew how dangerous Wooyoung was during a fight, and it was better to keep him as a close friend, «I want to learn how to fight, I want to be helpful.» Wooyoung visibly relaxed at your words, while simply humming in response.

«I didn’t know you were-»

«We’re not!» Wooyoung cut your sentence, «yet!» he immediately added, and his scowl gradually dissipated.

«I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, Wooyoung. Hongjoong allowed me to stay with you and the least I can do is to learn how to be helpful.» “without using elemental magic”, you mentally added; Wooyoung sighed heavily, scratching his nape with his left hand, his long black hair gently falling on his face.

«It’s okay, I’m sorry for jumping to conclusion.» he mumbled, before he suddenly leaned closer to you. Despite you had slowly grown used to spend whole days between Hongjoong’s arms due to the fact that you shared a saddle, you still were not used to have a boy so close to you.

However, Wooyoung bent his knees enough so that he could made direct eye contact with your eyes, and you found it almost impossible to look away. Wooyoung didn’t try to move your hood, he didn’t try to do anything; he simply stared at you, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

«I’ll give it to you, your eyes are really pretty.» he said, before standing up in his original position once again; Wooyoung started to walk towards the others, when you instinctively called out to him.

«Wait!» you said, and Wooyoung stopped in his tracks, curiously looking at you; quickly, you walked up to him, trying clear your thoughts just enough to understand why you decided to stop him in the first place. Wooyoung tilted his head, but patiently waited.

«You…Your eyes,» you said, uncertain, «your eyes are prettier.» Wooyoung sighed in a useless attempt to hide his sudden smile; immediately, his left arm was around your shoulder as he urged the both of you to walk towards the others.

«We really adopted a cute one.» he mumbled more to himself, and you smiled at yourself at his words.

Since then, Wooyoung’s behaviour had shifted towards you; he would often offer you to ride with him – thing that Hongjoong always refused, and he always made sure the two of you slept next to each other. Wooyoung was aware about the fact that you often grew incredibly cold during the night, and therefore, he had offered to share his extra blanket with you. Needless to say, you fell asleep listening to Wooyoung’s enamoured voice whispering you about how smitten he was for San.

«Why don’t you tell him?» you innocently mumbled back one night, «you like him, tell him.» Wooyoung sighed at your answer, as if he couldn’t understand how naïve you could be.

«I have thought about it,» he admitted, «but I guess I’m scared about facing him every day if he doesn’t reciprocate my feelings.» you nodded at his words, shifting under the blanket, «the boys are our family, and I don’t want to ruin everything.»

«You’re really brave, Wooyoung,» you weakly mumbled as you felt yourself dozing off to sleep.

«I’m just an idiot.» you thought you heard him say.

-

The thick woods slowly began to dissipate around your path, as you spent another day carefully travelling using the river as a navigation reference; from what they had said, you would have reached a village in no more than two days. You were glad, since if luck was on your side, you could have gotten another room for yourself in order to wash up while not being in a hurry; it was not that simple to wrap a bandage around your chest while your skin was damp.

«What’s going on between you and Wooyoung?» Hongjoong quietly questioned you, as he was gently instructing you once again where to correctly put your hands on the reigns in order to efficiently lead the horse.

«Nothing,» you admitted, «we’re friends.» Hongjoong hummed, not actually waiting for you to explain yourself, but you still did, «I don’t think I ever had a friend in my life, so I’m glad he acts like one.»

Hongjoong’s head turned towards you, but you kept looking ahead; although the question he wanted to ask so badly was on the tip of his tongue, he refrained from asking, aware that it was not the right moment.

«Well, little hood,» Hongjoong shrugged, mirroring your action to look ahead, «you might have eight of them, now.»

Whether your heart started to race in unexpected blissful happiness was a secret only for you to know.

Later that night, you quietly walked away from your sleeping friends instead of keeping guard; sitting by the river, you closed your eyes and sighed at the feeling of having your hair dishevelled by the night breeze and your breasts no more trapped in a tight bandage.

Even if you wanted to enjoy your bath, you knew you had to be quick; no one still had found out that you were a girl, and you didn’t know how much time you had before any of them woke up. Standing completely naked under a sky full of stars, you slowly made your way into the river while shuddering at the cold feeling of the water; eventually, you slowly started to relax and wash yourself.

Next to the fireplace, Seonghwa suddenly woke up because of a weird, twinkling sensation at the tip of his fingers; he groaned, shifting on the other side in the attempt to fall back asleep just before noticing that you were not keeping guard any longer. He suddenly sat up, ready to wake up Hongjoong and alert him about the situation, when he felt that someone had entered the river.

It was a default feature of the children of Water; their power allowed them to know whether someone interacted with a natural source of water close to them and if they wanted, they could somehow see, as if they were standing into the water as well. However, Seonghwa doubted his powers were working correctly because he sensed the presence of a girl.

Seonghwa glanced at your empty spot with furrowed brows, before eventually, his eyes turned into the colour of the deep blue sea, as he connected himself with his own element. He was prepared to finally see the face of the boy they were travelling with, but he was shocked to discover that indeed, he was a girl. Seonghwa blushed, feeling guilty about spying on you as you bathed; with a sigh, he let go of his vision, leaving you to the privacy of your own bath. San’s words echoed in his head, and he silently smiled to himself, mentally agreeing with his friends.

“She’s really pretty,” Seonghwa thought, as an infinite series of questions popped out into his mind: where were you running away from, in order to pretend to be someone you were not? As he kept thinking, he shifted his position once again, keeping awake until he eventually saw you coming back, safely hidden in your clothes.

Honestly, you felt incredibly guilty about waking up Hongjoong earlier than needed, but the water was so cold you were afraid you might have passed out if you didn’t manage to hide yourself under some blankets as soon as you could. Hongjoong’s eyes snapped open as soon as you touched his cheekbone, and he immediately caught your hand in a quick move.

«Did you stick your hand into an iceberg?» Hongjoong mumbled, and you refrained from whimper in bliss at the sudden warmth of his touch.

Unexpectedly, Hongjoong offered you his blankets as well, mumbling something about him not being cold; despite your constant bickering, you didn’t want to question him or play difficult, and eventually, you laid in Hongjoong’s place, enjoying the warm sensation you felt under the covers.

However, you fell asleep too quickly in order to realize that the pleasing warmth had soon dissipated and therefore, you were unconsciously tossing, turning and moving around in order to find any source of warmth; your movements stopped as soon as your forehead encountered something warm, and you finally felt like you could peacefully rest once again.

If you were asleep, Hongjoong clearly was not; at first, he had thought about waking you up, noticing that you were moving too close to the fireplace, but then, you started to move the opposite way. As he was keeping watch, Hongjoong decided to sit against the tree close to you, his back leaning against the cortex and therefore, it didn’t take you too long to come to a stop as soon as your forehead met Hongjoong’s thigh. He didn’t miss your content sigh at the sudden warmth, and he incredulously glanced at his friends to see if anyone was awake to see it.

Minutes passed, but you didn’t give any sign of wanting to move away; Hongjoong sighed, glancing at his friends once again just to be sure that no one could see him gently placing his hand on your head over the fabric of your hood. Hongjoong stared at you, wondering whether he should have given in to the temptation and reach out with his fingers just enough to peek at your identity; minutes passed, but eventually, Hongjoong gave up with a sigh, leaning his head against the tree behind him.

“It wouldn’t be fair,” he thought, unconsciously caressing your head as you unconsciously nuzzled your forehead against his thigh.

«Well, this was unexpected,» Seonghwa whispered from nearby, «but I have to admit, it’s getting interesting.» he chuckled quietly, a faint noise carried away by the wind.

«Shut up, Seonghwa.» Hongjoong whispered back with a flustered voice.

When you woke up Jongho was the one keeping guard, and as Hongjoong was helping Wooyoung and Seonghwa to prepare a quick breakfast, you noticed that his blanket was still safely wrapped around you.

CHAPTER IV

As few weeks had gone by, you wondered more than once where exactly your friends were supposed to go; for all you knew, you’ve been travelling for weeks. Even if you never complained, you secretly admitted to yourself that your favourite moments were anytime you could stop at an actual village – even for a single night, in order to properly wash up without being in a hurry.

As days went by, something you didn’t fail to notice was the fact that somehow, Seonghwa’s behaviour towards you seemed to have shifted into something a little more protective; he would admonish Hongjoong anytime he answered to you in a too sarcastic way, he would always give you a larger portion of food, or he’d make sure for you to have an extra blanket for when you stopped at night. He would also make sure to go easier on you during your training, and even if you wondered why, you never brought yourself to actually confront him.

Hongjoong and the others seemed to have warmed up to you; eventually, you’d spend part of the evening sitting around the bonfire and listening to their stories, wondering how many adventures they have lived and most importantly, if you would ever manage to experience some of them before eventually drifting off towards you own path. The fact that their friendship was deep enough to consider each other family was evident, and you tried not to pay attention to that sense of belonging you were feeling once and a while; after all, you had a well defined objective in mind, and you didn’t want for them to risk their lives as well.

Despite the fact that you had to remind yourself not to get too attached to the loud and chaotic group of new found friends, it was as if you couldn’t do otherwise; although you were still keeping secrets from each other, you kept feeling a strange sense of belonging slowly and unwillingly building itself inside your soul, and you eventually wondered how much your inevitable separation would have hurt both you and them.

Moreover, it was a mystery to you how could Hongjoong’s presence be so incredibly soothing; it wasn’t rare for you to abruptly wake up due to a sudden nightmare, and anytime it happened, you’d ask to keep guard – so that the other could get some more sleep and you were forced to stay awake, too scared to fall asleep.

Lately, a lot of nightmares seemed to swirl around the same scene, making you see part of your past all over again; you were 10 years old back then, and the image of a Disciple dragging the lifeless body of a young boy was a vision that – even after years, kept hunting you. Although you didn’t see what the boy looked like, you quickly realized that you were the same age. However, anytime you woke up due to a sudden nightmare and Hongjoong was the one keeping guard, he always refused your proposal of getting few more hours of sleep; instead, Hongjoong always offered himself to listen to you, asking what was wrong and you felt yourself grow flustered because you couldn’t tell him the truth. It would have been nice to say “I’m having nightmares about the days I spent at the Shrine”, but you simply couldn’t, not yet; on top of that you were terribly scared about them finding out who you really were and who your father was, that you’ve always kept your talking at minimum.

«It’s nothing, it was just a bad dream.» you would say every single time, and Hongjoong would roll his eyes while sighing deeply – clearly not believing you but not forcing you to talk, before patting the spot next to him.

Needless to say, you immediately crawled towards him while making sure to bring your own blanket as well, ready to listen to anything and everything he had to say; these secret moments you shared with each other were undeniably sweet compared to those times during the day when you were tempted to throw something at him as a silent answer to one of his sarcastic retorts. Most of the time you would fall asleep, and even if you noticed the fact that you were literally falling asleep leaning against him due to his pleasant warmth, Hongjoong never said anything; he’d simply shook you awake so that you could move before he eventually woke up the one which was supposed to keep guard after him.

Hongjoong was a reliable leader, and as days went by, you understood why he others trusted him blindly; more than once, curious to admire his real face, you’ve been finding yourself on the verge of asking him about his right eye, but in the end you always refrained from doing so, since you didn’t want to bring up what could have been bad memories.

It was a mystery to you how could his mere presence or his voice make you feel completely different, and you weren’t sure whether you liked you own growing feeling.

«I remember reading a very interesting book,» Yeosang said one morning, as you were peacefully eating breakfast around a small bonfire; it was a mystery to you how he could be so talkative in the morning, but it was something you grew to appreciate, «it talked about sons and daughters of nature.» although you instinctively stopped chewing and your gaze instinctively drifted towards him, you tried to put all your effort in trying to look as neutral as you could.

Both Yunho and Yeosang had a deep passion for reading and therefore, anytime you stopped at a village, they’d spend their free times at the local library, eager to learn new things; their tales were interesting, since they’d space from talking about histories of the foundation of small villages, to how to use refined alchemy stones without destroying your weapons – and sometimes destroying your house as well.

«It said that elemental magic is unlimited, however, using too much of your magic within a short amount of time would irremediably consume you, as well.» Yeosang’s words were quiet and had the mere purpose to accompany your breakfast with something you mighthavenot known, but as he went on, you started losing your appetite.

«I heard about that, too,» Mingi nodded at his friend, «I wonder how intense your emotions have to be in that moment, in order to consume yourself as well.»

“The key word is “desperation”, Mingi,” you thought, your hands resting on your crossed legs, holding loosely the small loaf of bread you were previously eating.

Of course you knew what Yeosang was talking about; after all, it was how Serendia Shrine started creating their magic crystals. The Disciples would torture innocent people, bring them to the verge of insanity, force them to continue using their magic without ever taking a break; they would steal their life essence, in order to seal it in a magic crystal which they would use for their own wicked purposes.

Even thought you’ve spent your life locked up in there, you’ve never honestly understood what their so called “superior plan” was; for what you overheard, they wanted to awaken an old God – the God of Corruption, which, according to the legends, had been sealed away long time ago. In order to summon him, not only they needed an unquantifiable quantity of magic, but they also needed a sacrifice which, needless to say, would have been you.

«You’re not hungry?» Seonghwa’s gentle voice immediately snapped you from your thoughts, and you glanced at him, only to see that he was trying to study your stance with a concerned expression; you shook your head, honestly feeling like your stomach was curling on itself. 

«It’s okay, you’ll eat more tonight-»

«Hongjoong, I have bad news.» Jongho, who – under Hongjoong’s order, spent his breakfast time searching the surroundings, erupted from the bushes; he seemed extremely serious, and your eyes shifted towards Hongjoong, which visibly tensed up. 

«Don’t tell me they’re trying to ruin my morning.» Hongjoong groaned, briefly glancing at Jongho, which nodded at him; before you could ask what was going on, Hongjoong gestured towards you and Wooyoung with his gloved hand without thinking twice, «Take him, and wait for us at the next village.» Hongjoong told Wooyoung, and you felt your heart sink in your stomach; you suspected that Jongho was talking about Disciples, but yet, all you felt was deject.

“Am I still not strong enough to face them?” you thought, but even so, something in Hongjoong’s tone made you refrain from wanting to fight him. Silently, you nodded, immediately following Wooyoung on his horse as the others quickly put the breakfast leftovers away.

«It’s okay, little hood, we’ll see them soon.» Wooyoung whispered, before urging his horse to move. 

«Why you look so gloomy?» Wooyoung questioned once you were far enough from your friends.

«Did we run away from Serendia Shrine’s Disciples?» you questioned, not minding whether it was better for you to keep quiet about it; however, for all Wooyoung knew, it could have been an innocent question, since you’ve heard your friends talking about the Disciples more than once. Wooyoung’s affirmative answer made you scoff.

«I’m still too weak.» you groaned, more to yourself.

«It’s not that, little hood, you’re really good at fighting,» Wooyoung sighed, before groaning, «I don’t like to hide things from you… but we’ll eventually tell you, okay?» you nodded, feeling puzzled; Wooyoung’s sentence was low-key the confirm that they were keeping secrets from you, but what could it have been?

The village was small and welcoming; for what you could remember, it resembled the one where you used to live long time ago. The most interesting thing was that, in the centre of the village, surrounded by a small enchanted metal fence, stood what the inhabitants called “scuffling poplar”: a dry tree made up of two trunks tangled in a spiral, on which branches the inhabitants had hung the most disparate talismans.

Both you and Wooyoung had spent the day roaming free trough the village while waiting for the others; contrarily to you, Wooyoung was completely relaxed, certain about their friends coming back unharmed before dinner time. Eventually, your day unexpectedly turned into a promiscuous day, since Wooyoung ended up buying you new clothes, despite the fact that you kept saying no; for obvious reasons, you carried no money with you and therefore, you didn’t know how to eventually pay him back.

«We’re friends, and plus, you honestly can’t think I’m letting you walk around wearing that.» Wooyoung had said; you tilted your head, momentarily glancing at the helm of your cape. He was right, it was damaged, but it was functional; after all, you needed it in order to hide your face and to keep warm.

«It’s still good…» you tired but, to prove his point, Wooyoung raised his eyebrows, sticking his index finger inside a hole in the fabric right next to your elbow.

«We’ll buy it.» Wooyoung ended up saying every single time; needless to say, your could feel your heart swell and sink every time. 

Wooyoung was a friend to you, and the amount of trust he had in you was overwhelming; you suspected the fact that he insisted on buying you clothes was also an excuse for talking too much about his crush for San, but you honestly didn’t mind. You weren’t used to any form of affection, and your heart sank at the thought that the day where you had to part from your friends was inexorably getting closer.

Evening arrived fast, and as Wooyoung promised, you saw Hongjoong and the others walk into the small village; immediately, the two of you ran towards your friends which wasted no time and loudly greeted the two of you.

«Are you hurt?» although the question was meant for everyone, your gaze was unwavering from Hongjoong’s, which offered you a smug smile before answering «As if.»

«See? What did I tell you?» Wooyoung smiled brightly at you, as he stood in front of his long-time crush.

«Were you worried about us?» San questioned you, and you nodded briefly, «Were you?» San questioned again, but this time, his eyes were locked on Wooyoung, as if he was the only thing he could see.

«Of course I was not,» Wooyoung scoffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest and adverting his gaze in order to hide the faint blush covering his cheeks at the unexpected question, «hopefully, they beated some common sense in that stupid head of yours.»

«It’s not like I wanted to see your stupid face again.» as if they were child and not full grown boys, San immediately scoffed as well, crossing his arms in front of his chest and adverting his gaze in the opposite direction Wooyoung was looking at.

«I want to fight as well, next time.» you told Hongjoong, and he sighed, as if he could feel the determination burning in your gaze.

«We’ll see about that.» he simply answered, weakly patting your head through the fabric of your hood as he walked past you.

The inn you were staying in was quite large, the expensive wooden furniture decorated the room and made it very welcoming for travelers; although you wanted to spend your night sleeping peacefully in the privacy of your room, your friends literally dragged you towards an unfamiliar building. You couldn’t understand why some of them were so eager to show you that place, but as soon as you found yourself sitting on one of the expensive velvet chairs, you felt like wanting to go home.

There were boys and girls – some way more undressed than the others, expertly walking through the room and lovingly chatting with travelers, not really minding about each other’s personal space.

Despite the hosts’ various body shapes and their various skin colours, you noticed that the common feature they shared was eye catching beauty; there were details in each of them that prevented you from looking away, and you were glad for the fact that your hood was hiding the embarrassment portrayed on your burning cheeks. Needless to say, you didn’t know about the existence of such places, and neither you were sure you wanted to know more about them; you were feeling embarrassed, and you didn’t know what to do.

Sticking to Seonghwa’s side for the most of the night seemed to be the best solution and therefore, you found yourself sitting at a small table next to Seonghwa, Jongho and Mingi.

«What do you mean this is a brothel?» you questioned Mingi, which answered with an amused chuckle at your naivety; you absolutely did not know where you managed to end up, and why did your friends ended up taking you into such a place. 

San and Wooyoung were sitting at the table next to yours, happily chatting with a girl sitting on Wooyoung thighs, Yunho and Yeosang were talking with two different girls at opposite sides of the room, and Hongjoong was nowhere to be seen.

“Wait,” you thought, leaning towards Seonghwa, which was sitting next to you. 

«Where’s Hongjoong?» you asked him, your voice as low as possible; his gaze immediately shifted towards you, a mischievous and surprised smile on his face.  

«He’s with the owner of the brothel» he answered, a sly smile on his lips.

«… Oh!» you said, feeling your cheeks heathen in embarrassment; Seonghwa’s chuckle brought you back to reality.

«Which would be his sister,» he added, «they barely see each other. Plus, we get our informations from here.» at your confused expression, Seonghwa briefly explained that any kind of information the hosts managed to get, always ended up being reported to Hongjoong from his own sister and therefore, stopping at the brothel was pretty much a mandatory routine anytime they were close to the village; Hongjoong would get informations while finally seeing his sister again, and the boys had their own share of fun.

Although you wanted to know more about it in order to get distracted by the environment surrounding you, your words died in your throat as soon as you felt a whiff of extremely pleasant perfume, followed by a sudden weight on your thighs; you tensed up as if you were suddenly made of wood, and your head turned too see a girl smiling curiously at you.

«I see there’s a new entry in your group!» she said, loosely wrapping her arm around your shoulders and turning his gaze to Seonghwa; lavender scent surrounded you and, if only you weren’t panicking, you would have noticed the serious and accomplice look that the girl and Seonghwa exchanged. 

«Oh, little hood, you’re always so lucky!» Mingi whined, and Jongho quietly chuckled at the blonde boy’s reaction, «I wanted to be with Lea, tonight.» he added, pouting. 

«Maybe next time, babyboy.» she winked playfully at him, before suddenly getting up from your lap and making you stand up as well while gently tugging on your wrists.

Lea gently guided you upstairs, walking through a large corridor on which sides were the hosts’ personal rooms; you followed her as if you were under some sort of spell, but in reality, you were honestly panicking because Seonghwa told you that the brothel was the place where they got informations, and you were about to be alone with a host which would have found out you were a girl as well.  The thought that your friends were about to find out about your lie was enough to prevent you from thinking straight.

The faint noise of the door locking behind your shoulders made you swallow a little louder than you meant to, and Lea simply giggled at how tense you were while making her way in order to sit on her bed; although you wanted to curiously glance around the room, you were frozen in place.

«You can relax, I won’t do anything you’re not comfortable with,» Lea broke your tense silence, and you nodded, unsure on what to say, «thinking about it, it’s funny how no one realized you’re a girl, yet.» your head snapped towards her, not quiet believing if she really spoke what you’ve heard or you just had some sort of hallucination caused by the pleasant perfume in the room.

Lea playfully giggled again, shrugging and tilting her head on her left, her hair following the movement; she seemed to lower herself a bit more, as if she could peek under your hood from far away, but eventually, she gave up quickly. 

«I will keep your secret, I promise,» she added, touching her heart as she spoke, «you must have a reason for wanting to hide your identity.» 

Something in her gaze made you visibly relax, and you nodded at her, mumbling a quiet, «thank you.» it was a weird feeling, hearing your own voice while not forcing it to come out a little rougher, and it was definitely not unpleasant. 

«Come here, let’s have a girls night!» Lea smiled widely, repeatedly patting the space on the bed next to her; you nodded again, before eventually walking towards the bed and sitting on the soft mattress next to her. You were completely aware about the fact that Lea was going to ask you to take off your hood, and therefore, you brought your hands upwards, hesitantly touching its fabric before pulling it back; the hood was now resting on your shoulders, and for the first time in months, you let someone else see your face. 

«You’re so pretty,» Lea cooed, her fingers instinctively touching your cheeks with a faint touch, «okay, here’s what we’re going to do: you can wash up using my personal bathroom, and then I’ll do… something to your hair.» she mumbled the last part, leaning in to brush a hand through it.

Now, if someone were to tell you that one day you’d spent a night at a brothel, your eyes would have popped out of their sockets in shock; moreover, if someone were to tell you that you would have had fun, you would have probably asked the poor person if they happened to hit their head a bit too roughly.

However, there you were, sitting at Lea’s boudoir as she was gently combing your wet hair while gently massaging your scalp and tell you a lot of stories as your gaze repeatedly met through the mirror in front of you; although you were reluctant to talk about yourself, Lea never forced the topic. You were genuinely unable to describe the feeling of openly behaving like a girl for the first time in a long time, and moreover, you were unable to describe the feeling lighting up your soul at the fact that someone was taking care of you; aside for your mother, not one had ever treated you so kindly and therefore, there was something in Lea’s gentle touch that made yo want to cry every now and then.

Lea was a gorgeous girl, she was funny, smart, and her gaze went from mischievous to extremely sweet in a short matter of time; her beauty was easily intimidating, and you wondered if you could have the same effect on someone as well.

«I’m telling you, he tried to kiss me!» Lea said, carefully braiding your hair for the night; she seemed outraged, and you furrowed your brows in confusion.

«You don’t… kiss people?» you questioned, clearly unfamiliar with the situation and completely oblivious to the world of sex.

Lea’s expression visibly softened and eventually, she shook her head with a nostalgic smile; you could see her eyebrows delicately furrow as if she was lost in thoughts, and you were about to excuse yourself for such an indiscreet question.

«The only man I’ve ever kissed was my husband,» Lea said, her voice was gentler, and the love she felt for him was something you could definitely see in her eyes, «no other man has ever been able to make me forget about him.» with a sigh, she placed the comb she used to brush your hair on the boudoir, before gesturing to you to follow her on the bed; as the two of you sat cross legged in front of each other, you never expected her to open up to you – since you were basically a stranger, but eventually, she did.

«My husband was a child of Water,» she said, her gaze unfocused and a sad smile plastered on her lips, «we got married few months after we started dating, clearly too in love with each other, until one day, the Disciples showed up in our village, taking him and the others.» you knew where her story was leading, and you felt your heart clench, «I’ve never seen him again.»

Unconsciously, your hand reached on top of hers, and she immediately looked at you with a somewhat grateful expression; it was as if she felt relieved about talking about such a delicate matter after a long time. Lea told you that she ran away from the village in seek of help to rescue his husband, but eventually, she ended up meeting Hongjoong’s sister, which offered her a home.

«I don’t think my husband would be proud of me for doing this,» Lea confessed with a breathless chuckle, «but this nightmare has to end, and I’d do everything to help Hongjoong and the others to destroy Serendia Shrine once and for all.»

“So, we have the same objective in mind,” you thought. Although you and Lea kept talking for the most of the night, you’ve never brought yourself to ask her a description of her husband; you were more than certain that he had died, but you didn’t want to be the bearer of such a heartbreaking news, even if Lea was pretty much sure about his husband’s death.

The two of you were now laying on your sides facing each other on her wide and soft mattress, with a warm blanket was sprawled on top of the two of you.

«Part of me will never stop waiting for him.» she timidly confessed in a whisper, before eventually, the room fell into silence.

It was definitely not an uncomfortable silence, and secretly, you were glad about Lea being the host that stole you away from your friends; you didn’t want to imagine what would have happened in other situations.  However, the whirlwind of thoughts occupying your head seemed to head in a single, well defined destination.  

«Lea?» you mumbled, timidly calling out for her; she tiredly hummed in answer, and you shyly continued, «what does it feel to kiss someone?»

«Oh, godness!» Lea took a deep intake of breath, suddenly seeming completely awake, «you’ve never kissed anyone?» she curiously wondered, and you shook your head against her lavender scented cushions; the more she kept silent, the more stupid you felt for asking such a question.

«I guess, if you kiss someone you love, it’s somewhat the best feeling in the world,» Lea answered, carefully choosing her words, «otherwise, it’s just… pleasant.» you kept silent, trying to elaborate her words and wondering why did your mind ended up wandering towards Hongjoong every single time. 

«Do you want to try?» Lea questioned, barely above a whisper, and you were sure that if your heart was beating a bit louder you wouldn’t have heard it. 

«What?!» you shrieked, the peaceful silence of the room now long forgotten, «what about your husband?» you added, your voice once again a timid whisper, a neat contrast to your racing heart. 

«We can try, if you want.» you saw her smile thanks to the few candles illuminating the room; you don’t know what exactly came over you, but you agreed.

That’s pretty much how you found yourself once again sitting in front of Lea, which was constantly reminding you to relax with an amused voice; the kiss was brief and sweet, Lea’s lips were patiently moving against yours, as if to somehow give you silent tips on how to move and what to do.

Both her hands gently cupped your jaw, and as you tilted your head in order to deepen the kiss, you felt her smile against your lips; instinctively, one of your hands reached out to touch her thigh, while the other gently cupped her cheek as well. The kiss was soft, gentle, affectionate; there were no deep feelings between the two of you, there was no love if not a friendly affection and yet, in your inexperience, you enjoyed it. 

«Your first kiss is mine!» she giggled, wriggling her fingers while gesturing the motion to lean forward in order to tickle you, the pureness of her action immediately making you giggle as well. 

That night, if your dreams were composed about kisses and a handsome boy with faint red hair, was a secret for only you to know.

In the morning, Lea hugged you tight, giving you few tips on how to fix the bandage around your chest so that it wouldn’t hurt too much.

«I don’t know what your goal is,» she said, tightening her grip around your hands, «but good luck.» you immediately thanked her with a big and relieved smile, before eventually dressing up with the clothes that Wooyoung had bought you, noticing that they were perfectly fitting. Before leaving the room, Lea pecked your lips again with a gentleness that was definitely unfamiliar to you, and then she shortly placed her forehead against yours, quietly mumbling a soft, «please, be careful.»

«Lea?» Hongjoong questioned as soon as he helped you climb on his horse; you nodded, fixing your brand new clothes.

«How…?» you were meant to ask how did he understand, but he chuckled before you could finish your question.

«I’m pretty sure your whole body smells of lavender.» Hongjoong simply added with a smile while lifting his left eyebrow, and you felt your cheeks heaten once again.

Although you wanted to learn more about his thoughts on the matter, you kept quiet, figuring out that why would he mind the fact that you spent the night with someone – even though nothing happened, when he didn’t even know you were a girl?

However, the fact that Hongjoong’s grip on your waist was a little tighter would have been an answer to your doubt, if only you had paid attention.

The more you moved farther from the village, the more your soul grew restless; apparently, Hongjoong had been informed about the fact that part of the way you were supposed to go, was invaded by a storm of cruel harpies blindly attacking people. You proceeded slowly, the main fear was that the horses might freak out because of the fear caused by the loud screeches. From what you knew – more like from what Yunho and Yeosang had been explaining, harpies were social creatures and usually, their behaviour usually was not hostile towards humans.

Harpies were also extremely loyal to their leader, and most importantly, they had their own language that was incomprehensible and extremely disturbing to humans, and did not it meet the standards of actual speech from the human perspective. Harpies were born with feathers as black as coal, that eventually would change their colour as they grew older; the whiter their feathers, the older the harpy. 

The wooded paths gradually opened up to make room for the rocks and the few trees characteristic of the hilly areas that preceded the part of the mountain that you should have coasted and the more you went on, the more you could hear the tranquil silence being interrupted by loud and bloodcurdling screeches; in the distance, you could see the outline of countless harpies flying in the sky. Behind you, you could easily feel that Hongjoong was tense, and his grip on the reigns was incredibly tight; anytime the harpies screeched, your friends clutched at their ears in order to muffle the disturbing noise, while you had to pretend to be under the same effect, not completely understanding why you were immune to that.

What definitely made you consider the option you were going crazy was the moment when you were forced to pass by a soldier attached by a lone harpy; he was lying on the ground, partially leaning against a rock, while restlessly moving his sword towards the sky, in the vane attempt to neutralise the harpy’s furious attacks.

«Leave, you monster!» the soldier shouted, and the harpy aggressively clawed at his wrist, disarming him in a quick movement.

«You stole from us! Humans attacked us first!» the fact that you heard proper words instead of repetitive screeches like your friends did, made you tense up.

Was it something wrong with you? Why the others seemed to be terribly influenced by the harpy’s screech while you were not? 

«It’s okay.» Hongjoong mumbled, resting his left hand on your thigh while gently moving his thumb in a slow and reassuring movement; you were glad for his concern, although the two of you were worried about two completely different things.

Eventually, Hongjoong and the others urged their horse to move faster since no one wanted to fight a group of furious harpies, and you were left alone with your thoughts.

The rocky path became increasingly narrow, and for a good part you were forced to dismount and continue on foot, while the horses followed by inertia by the grip you had on the reigns; luckily, you didn’t meet any more harpies, as the path you should have walked deviated and prevented you from meeting any more of them. A descent before a crossroads presented itself to you as a metaphorical choice of your own destiny; laying with her back against the rocky wall, there was a harpy, weakly hissing and screeching in pain as a long arrow was perforating her stomach. The harpy visibly panicked as soon as she saw your group approaching, probably thinking that you came back in order to definitely kill her.

«Seonghwa…» Hongjoong mumbled, his gaze locked on the writhing creature on the ground; Seonghwa immediately complied to that silent order, lifting his hand in order to grab his bow.

«Wait!» both you and Yeosang said in unison, but between the two, only you brought yourself to walk closer to her and therefore, ignoring Hongjoong’s order to come back.

The harpy was writhing on the floor, hissing and screeching in pain as she was glancing at you with an unfocused gaze; you furrowed your brows in a silent wonder about her injuries, while approaching her with slow steps in order not to scare her, and making sure she could always see your movements. The boys curiously glanced at each other, ready to attack her if she ever tried something hostile towards you, but among them, only Yunho and Yeosang shared the same, suspicious look.

«It’s curious…» Yeosang started, his voice only for Yunho to hear, «… Harpies don’t let men get so close to them.» however, their discourse immediately stopped as they saw you kneel in front of the harpy, which was still looking at you with an unfocused gaze.

«The arrow, it’s poisoned.» you heard her say; it was a simple, weak mumble, and you immediately glanced at your companions, but judging by their expressions they couldn’t either hear her, or understand her words, «Please, sister, end my suffering, kill me.» she pleaded but you shook your head, horrified at her request.

«Who did this to you?» you whispered back, leaning closer to inspect her wound further, and in order not to let the others hear you.

«Humans,» she immediately whined, «they attacked us, they invaded our territories.» Somehow you understood the fury of the harpy you saw earlier.

«Please, forgive me for this.» you whispered only for her to hear, and before she could answer, you snapped the arrow in two and extracted it from the wound as carefully as you could. Her screech of pain made your heart clench, Hongjoong instinctively stepped closer to you but Yeosang stopped him, seeing that you immediately started casting a healing spell on her wound, your eyes flashing golden as you were using basic magic, ignoring Hongjoong’s pissed off question about what were you doing.

The harpy eventually lost her senses, but the wound was completely healed; you were aware about the fact that you had used a lot of magic and so, you weren’t surprised about your head spinning as soon as you tried to stand up on wobbly and weak legs.

Nonetheless, you kneeled, fatiguely picking up the passed out harpy, before turning to your companions while trying not to pass out as well.

«Are we,» you coughed, once again forcing your voice to come out a little rougher, but you were so tired you found it honestly difficult, «can we stop to the harpies’ nest or I have to go alone?»

Hongjoong’s exasperated sigh was the only answer you received, while the others looked at you as if you’ve just effortlessly tamed a wild beast in front of their own eyes; Jongho was quick to walk in your direction, helping you carrying the harpy towards the horses since he saw you struggling to stand up.

«Take my horse,» San quickly told you, «I’ll ride with Wooyoung.» you nodded at him, thankful for his offer.

Despite the fact that you could now somehow ride a horse by yourself, Hongjoong was riding in front of you while holding the reigns of San’s horse as well, leaving you the only task to avoid to fall off the horse. 

It was the first time you weren’t riding with Hongjoong on his horse and, as much as it confused you, you missed the sensation of his chest pressed against your back.

Forced to go back, you found yourself wandering through narrow and rocky paths, but in the same moment your horses started to lead towards the harpies’ nest direction, you realized that it wasn’t probably the best decision; what looked like a small storm of twenty harpies immediately started to fly above you in a threatening manner, but the harpy in front of you was quick to call out to them.

«She saved me!» she quickly screeched to the storm, forcing your friends to cover their ears in pain, «They’re my saviours!» you heard her add, and from that moment, the harpies eventually started to land, sitting on various ledges on the rocky walls while studying your group with a menacing gaze plastered on their human features; you had to admit that trotting your way into a harpies’ nest while some of them were staring at your group of friends ready to come for their head made you really scared. 

However, at some point, they all jumped in front of you, blocking your path.

«You have to come alone,» the harpy explained, «men can’t meet the Queen.» you nodded at her, before dismounting from your horse and hesitantly turning to your friends.

«Please, wait for me here. I’m the one who saved her, I don’t want to expose you to further danger; I’ll be back!» you quickly said, avoiding to explain why you were the only one who could understand her and eventually walking towards the harpies blocking your path before they could answer you. 

With incredulous eyes, your friends watched as the harpies made enough space only for you and your new friend to walk through, before resuming their action of staring at them.

«Makes sense, he saved her.» San shrugged, and Wooyoung nodded at him.

«Hopefully he won’t take long, they’re giving me the creeps.» Mingi commented.

Yeosang and Yunho simply glanced at each other, as for Jongho, Seonghwa and Hongjoong, they watched your figure disappearing with worry filling their hearts.

The road was uphill and increasingly sloping; the side the road was decorated with helmets and various remains of armour, carcasses, corpses. As you approached the top of the mountain, there were only nests on either side of the path; they were well organized, some full of eggs, some others carefully watched by some harpies. What you couldn’t understand, was the fact that despite it was full of harpies, no one of them ever tried to attack you; some of them didn’t mind the fact that you were passing by, but some other actually acknowledged you, offering you a smile with their delicate human features.

As you were walking on the path which led you even higher on the mountain, the harpy you had saved begun to explain about the sudden war they were forced to face; after years of peace, humans suddenly and inexplicably invaded part of the harpies’ nest, killing everyone they met n their way, with the sudden goal to expanse their territories.

«Humans have always been greedy, haven't them?» you found yourself saying, even thought you couldn’t understand your own words.

On top of the mountain, a small clearing opened in front of you; the rocks seemed to have flattened out, some horizontally, others in pointed diagonal spikes. Some trees also had managed to grow despite the altitude.

«Well, well. Finally, my immortal eyes see something different.» a voice above you made your head snap towards its direction; it was indefinable with human words due to its beauty; it was gentle and yet authoritative, otherworldly, almost ethereal.

A harpy – way much bigger than the others, stood tall on top of a tree which resembled a throne, her feathers white and the human part of her body had skin as white as snow, a mask resembling a bird’s beak covered her eyes and part of her human features, while white feathers as pure as snow framed her features as if it were her hair, making her look both threatening and ethereal.

«I am Karanda, the Queen of Harpies, and the Goddess of Air.» she addressed you in a polite and gentle way, and you immediately bowed to her.

«I am honored to meet you-»

«No, human, I am the one who should bow to you.» she gracefully tilted her head in a hint of a bow, action which was immediately mimicked by the few harpies standing around you taking you by surprise. you swallowed nervously, not bringing yourself to meet their gaze despite the fact that you were indeed the hero of the day.

Honestly, you were starting to doubt you were actually living a very vivid daydream instead of real life; from what you've been told, the cases of children of Nature meeting one of the deities were extremely rare, and most importantly, these meetings always had a purpose.

«Young witch, what you have shown is but a glimpse of what you will be. I will not forget your clemency, and I am sure our paths will cross again.» you couldn’t bring yourself to answer to her; her presence was overwhelming and on top of all, she said she was the Goddess of Air, could she somehow be related to you?

Her utter beauty and how ethereal and powerful she looked left you stunned, and you could only look at her – admire her, which eventually laughed, and snapped you out of your thoughts.

«Let me ask you, though, why is a one of my daughters travelling undercover with men?» you could see her smile under her gracious mask, and you petrified.

“Daughter? Wait, how did she know my friends don't know about my identity?” your head started to spin due to how many questions you wanted to ask her, but you easily figured out that, since she was a Goddess, it might have been an easily obtained information for her.

The Queen’s voice softened, explaining herself further by saying that harpies would rather die instead of letting men help them; you attentively listened to her words, hoping that no one in your group of friends knew about this.

«You are the first of my human daughters I meet in a long, long time and therefore, let me tell you something about your future,» she waved her clawed hand, generating a small agglomerate of white energy – it resembled a sphere, but it was almost translucent; despite you couldn’t bring yourself to look at it for long due to its brightness, she looked into it as if it was a book, before making it disappear in a tight fist with a knowing smile, «how small you are, for such a great destiny.» she shook her head, a hint of sadness tainting her ethereal voice.

Immediately, your heart picked up pace, «You know about my mission?» you questioned, and she nodded, «Am I going to…» “die?” you simply thought the last part, unable to finish your own question.

«I can’t tell you this, but let me tell you something else you might find interesting,» Karanda tilted her head, giggling to herself while mumbling a quiet «that Garmoth fooled me again.» 

«Your soulmate is a child of Fire.» she announced, carefully studying your reaction; you tilted your head in confusion, furrowing your eyebrows.

«Soulmate?» you questioned; you’ve never heard anyone talk about the topic, “maybe I should ask Yeosang,” you thought, “but why should it be so important for me?”

«You’re travelling with him.» you heard Karanda add, as it it could have been a clue, «However, I can’t tell you much more than this, but since you saved one of us, we’re all in your debt. Whether in danger, don’t be afraid to call for us.»

«How do I do that?» you questioned, wondering how could they hear your call if you were on the other side of the world.

The Queen smiled tenderly – almost motherly, and effortlessly ripped a feather from her arm, which immediately crafted itself into a small, neat and beautiful necklace; you instinctively opened your hands, accepting the gift which flew to you gently carried by a faint breeze.

«For a start, never take this off, and you’ll figure out the rest in due time.» Karanda nodded at you, and somehow, you had the feeling that your meeting was over; there were many things you wanted to ask her, however, your thoughts were a whirlwind of confused words and therefore, you followed your new friend on the way back towards your friends, as you immediately wore the necklace Karanda gave you and carefully hid it under your shirt.

«Why did it take you so long?» Jongho screamed as he saw you walk out the makeshift barrier of harpies that have been silently staring at them for the whole time; you jogged towards them, apologising for the wait. San was now back on his horse, so you instantly walked towards Hongjoong, which effortlessly helped you up.

«Could we please leave? I’m starting to feel like tonight’s special dessert.» Yunho politely asked, somehow lighting up the mood and immediately, you urged your horses to walk away from the harpies’ nest.

«Are you okay?» Hongjoong mumbled, trying to avoid the fact that he had acted incredibly concerned until few minutes before you eventually returned; he saw your cape moving in a silent nod, «Then, that’s what matters.»

Once again, you felt your cheeks heaten, your brain acknowledging the comforting warmth emitting from Hongjoong’s body.

“Your soulmate is a son of fire,” Karanda had said, “could he be…?”

CHAPTER V

«So, little hood…» Yeosang’s voice momentarily trailed off, as he manoeuvred his horse so that he could ride right next to you and Hongjoong, «what happened at the harpies’ ridge?»

“Not again,” you thought, furrowing your eyebrows for a brief moment; although you already explained to your friends what happened, Yeosang seemed particularly curious, almost suspicious of what you referred to them. 

«She showed me her hatched eggs,» you repeated yet another time the excuse you came up with, «apparently, she just became a mom, I couldn’t understand anything else - you know, she screeched a lot.»

If you had to be honest with yourself, your version of the events seemed to scream “I’m absolutely lying, and I have no idea about how to come up with a believable excuse” from every syllable you pronounced each time someone asked what happened, but no one ever tried to inquiry any further; Yeosang, however, was the only one who found the whole episode incredibly odd. He had read an incredible amount of books, but in none of them he had ever found even a hint about harpies’ friendly behaviour towards humans, although they were not hostile towards them; on top of that, harpies loathed men, so it was incredibly strange how an entire flock of harpies had allowed you so easily to wander free in their territory, especially because they were very territorial.

«Leave him alone, Yeosang, each one of us has a secret.» unexpectedly, Hongjoong’s authoritative tone prevented Yeosang from asking any more questions; you quickly thanked the young leader, even thought you were unsure about why he decided to intervene so suddenly, «It’s okay, plus, it wouldn’t be wise for you to turn against us.» Hongjoong simply answered, and you nodded, not that you were planning any of the sort. 

Few days went on like this, and you found yourself growing curious towards what Hongjoong had said; what secrets were they hiding?

“I don’t like to hide things from you… but we’ll eventually tell you.” Wooyoung had told you at the village, and deep down, you knew you could trust him.  However, sadly, you didn’t have enough time to completely gain their trust. 

Even thought you were incredibly grateful towards all of them for all the things they patiently taught you every day, you knew you were running short on time in order to complete your lonely mission. Each day you could feel yourself growing attached to them – to someone in particular, and each single day, the idea of running away in the middle of the night had been postponed to the following day, and so on. 

This is why, the moment you realized you were close enough to the territories that led to the Serendia Shrine, you decided that you would have given yourself two days and two nights; as soon as the full moon would shine bright in the sky, you would have used your turn to keep watch in order to run away. To say that you felt incredibly guilty for running away like a coward was an understatement but, you didn’t know how to act otherwise; informing them about your plan of destroying the Serendia Shrine meant putting them at risk as well, and you didn’t want for it to happen. 

During the weeks you spent with them, they had treated you as if you were one of them and therefore, you were convinced that the only way to protect your only friends was to walk away from them without leaving any trace behind you, just like a night summer breeze.

«Hey, little hood?» Yeosang gently nudged his elbow against yours in a gentle but firm movement, and you immediately snapped out of your thoughts; you turned your head towards his direction, noticing that he was looking at you with furrowed brows, «Why are you so distracted today?» he asked, his attention once again claimed by the numerous colourful bottles and ampoules neatly placed on the small table in front of the two of you.

Yeosang was an alchemist and so, he had the habit of carrying along with himself a big backpack filled with all sort of ingredients he might have needed to enchant his friends’ weapons; thanks to alchemy stones, he could nullify the weight of his tools and therefore, this explained how he managed to carry along with him a small wooden coffee table. 

«Oh, it’s nothing,» you answered, your attention going back on the wooden mortar and pestle in your lap; the two of you were sitting next to each other on the soft grass, your legs crossed and your elbows occasionally bumping against each other as Yeosang carefully and patiently explained to you step by step what he was doing. 

«Why are you so determined to teach me alchemy’s secrets?» you gently questioned him, weakly stirring the light blue powder in your mortar, admiring the reflections that under the sun almost seemed luminescent; Yeosang shrugged, before exhaling a long sigh and tilting his head towards the direction where the others were organizing the small camp for the following few days. 

«Mingi and Yunho are the only ones that showed interest towards alchemy, and so I taught them as well,» Yeosang shook his head, gently dishevelling his blonde hair, «I know you’re hiding something big, little hood, but I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. Alchemy could be a great help during unexpected situations, and I want you to get even better than me.» you found yourself nodding with a sad smile, as your eyes trailed from Yeosang’s profile to the small boiling cauldron in front of the two of you.

One night remained to the full moon. 

Although you kept meticulously following Yeosang’s instructions about what you had to do, you just couldn’t keep concentrated, and if the whirlwind of thoughts running wild in your mind wasn’t confusing enough, Karanda’s words kept coming up every now and then; she said that you were travelling with your soulmate but… What could it mean? What is a soulmate? Moreover, why did she found the information so important? 

Glancing to your right, Yeosang’s focused expression as he was reading a formula met your gaze and instinctively, you called out for him, which mumbled absently as a silent request to go on with what you wanted to say.

«What’s a soulmate?» you questioned, and Yeosang’s head immediately snapped towards you; his eyes were wide with stupor, and his lips were slightly parted; you were glad he couldn’t properly see your face because you suddenly felt embarrassed.  What exactly did you ask for?

«Where did you hear that?» Yeosang’s lips turned upwards in a sly and curious smile. 

«At the village; some people were talking about it.» you quickly came up with an excuse, and Yeosang nodded, believing you; he placed his mortar on the small wooden table, as if he was looking for the right words to explain such an intricate concept as simply as he could. 

«A soulmate is… someone you love unconditionally with all your heart,» Yeosang said, «a lot of books talk about this topic; apparently, a soulmate is like a missing piece completing your life, someone you can unconditionally trust, forgive, love, grow old with. Some say the bond between soulmates is so strong that they will inevitably find each other life after life.» you curiously listened to Yeosang’s explanation, wondering if you would ever been capable to feel like he said; needless to say, you have never loved anyone in your life, you didn’t even know if you were capable of it.

Karanda said that you and your soulmate were travelling together, but who could it be? You didn’t feel in any special way towards anyone, after all. From what Yeosang had told you, soulmates’ bodies reacts along to the bond, and therefore, if their soulmate were not near them, they would feel different, almost as if they were missing something.

“I don’t feel like that towards anyone,” you thought, but before you could mentally add that Karanda might have been wrong, a very familiar sensation re-appeared in your mind; few days earlier, when you and the harpy were riding San’s horse, you distinctly felt like missing Hongjoong’s warmth.

“I’m sure it’s just a coincidence,” you quickly brushed away your own thoughts, unwilling to start seeing your friend in a different light; after all, he didn’t even know you were a girl.

«Oh, I forgot one of the ingredients,» Yeosang suddenly said, «go on with creating the gem, I’ll be back soon. I think I left it in my saddleback.» before you could say anything, Yeosang had quickly stood up and started walking towards the others’ direction.

«You never taught me how to create that enchantment stone…» you whispered to yourself, and your shoulders fell for a brief moment; with a groan, you re-arranged your position, so that you were on your knees and you were balancing your weight on your calves in order to look for the gem’s recipe in Yeosang’s alchemy book.

However, despite the fact that you spent endless minutes leafing through the pages, you didn’t find anything that could help you and so, you settled for stir a little more vigorously the light blue almost luminescent powder in your mortar.

Unbeknownst to you, Yeosang didn’t forget anything; he had been studying alchemy since he was young, so the possibilities of him forgetting some ingredients were almost non-existent. However, if you were confused about your own feelings, Yeosang was confused about your whole being. He didn’t fail to notice how you and Hongjoong seemed to get along differently – although sometimes you kept bickering over stupid things, and he had few theories about which he was eager to find out the truth.

«Where’s little hood?» Hongjoong asked as soon as he saw his friend sitting next to Mingi, and Yeosang had to refrain himself from scoffing.

«He’s creating some enchanted stones, but I think he’s having some troubles,» Yeosang said, furrowing his brows and carefully studying his leader’s reactions, «could you check up on him?» Hongjoong sighed, but eventually nodded.

Hongjoong finished his task to start a fire and eventually walked off, unaware about the fact that Yeosang was going to follow him, settling for keeping a safe distance behind a large oak tree.  

«Need some help?» Hongjoong’s voice called out, and you nodded as you watched him walk towards you, before crouching down on the empty spot left by Yeosang.

«I would appreciate it,» you admitted with your eyebrows furrowed, «Yeosang asked me to create some “essence of enchantment”, but he never explained me how I’m supposed to do it in the first place.» Hongjoong gently smiled hearing your words, and eventually, properly sat down next to you, reaching out to grab Yeosang’s heavy recipes book and bring it on his lap.

«I have very little memories on Yeosang’s alchemy lessons,» Hongjoong mumbled, his gaze quickly scanning the pages as he leafed through them; once again, the question about what happened to his right eye was on the tip of your tongue but this time, you realized too late that you were voicing your own thoughts. Hongjoong’s fingers momentarily stopped, before eventually, they started moving again; you held your breath, feeling guilty and completely aware about how rude you have just been.

«Uh, let’s just say it’s a reminder.» Hongjoong shrugged, once again busy with his research; to be honest, he wasn’t angry at your curiosity but rather, he was surprised about the fact that you didn’t ask earlier. However, before you could ask any further, Hongjoong happily said that he had found the recipe, «It doesn’t look too complicated…» he said, before the two of you started working again.

For a start, Hongjoong manage to steal the mortar and pestle from your hands, leaving you to add various ingredients he named in the still boiling cauldron; once again, you felt weird feelings creeping in your heart and a weird sensation tingling in your stomach as the two of you were making conversation.

«What do you mean you don’t know how to weigh ash sap?» Hongjoong questioned you with an exasperated sigh as he kept mixing the ingredients in the mortar, «little hood, did you live under a rock?»

«Where did you learn your manners, among rogues?» you immediately retorted, hitting his shoulder using the small towel you used to clean the colourful bottles on the small table. Hongjoong rolled his eyes while lifting his eyebrows in the attempt to hide a smile, before handing you the mortar and pestle for a brief moment; as soon as your hands met the wooden material, you couldn’t help but notice how incredibly warm the wood was in that moment, contrarily to when you were holding it.  Hongjoong briefly explained you how to weigh most of alchemy’s ingredients, and you tried to pay as much attention as you could.

«What are you doing here?» Seonghwa questioned Yeosang – still hiding behind a tree, and the blonde boy immediately brushed his question off while quickly shaking his hand in mid-air.

«Alchemy.» Yeosang simply answered, and Seonghwa furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, leaning over his friend’s shoulder in order to see what he was so intensely looking at.

Hongjoong was laughing, reaching out with his fingertips - dirty with some alchemy powder, towards you while trying to dirt your face as well; you, however, were repeatedly brushing his hand away with one of the small towels placed on the small table, preventing his fingertips to reach underneath your hood. «I think our leader has a soft spot for our new entry,» Yeosang mumbled, and Seonghwa nodded with a gentle smile, even though his friend couldn’t see him.

«I have a theory,» Yeosang briefly glanced at Seonghwa, as he watched with a faint horrified expression the two of you putting the ingredients on the cauldron in the wrong order, «I think little hood is a girl.»

Now, Seonghwa was glad about the fact that Yeosang couldn’t see him, otherwise, his eyes widening comically wide would have made him immediately understood his theory was right.

«What if he was?» Seonghwa questioned, trying to sound oblivious.

«I honestly don’t care about such trivial things,» Yeosang immediately shook his head, and Seonghwa immediately felt relieved, «It’s nice to see Hongjoong so relaxed, since… well, you know.»

Although Seonghwa didn’t answer, he found himself silently agreeing with Yeosang, his eyes fixed on the eyepatch that his long-time friend kept on his right eye.

«I think something’s wrong.» Hongjoong mumbled, scratching his nape and continuously glancing towards the cauldron while re-reading the recipe; apparently, the cloud of smoke and white steam that suddenly started to come out of the boiling pot in order to immediately fall to the ground was not expected.

As the boiling noise started to become louder, you and Hongjoong quickly glanced at each other before abruptly standing up and quickly running towards the same direction; the cortex of a thin maple tree was definitely not the best choice for a shield, but the both of you quickly decided to run behind it, considering the distance between the tree and the cauldron reassuring enough.

«What if it explodes?» you wondered as the could of white smoke seemed to thicken.

«We’ll never gonna hear the end of it,» Hongjoong immediately answered, «Yeosang is going to be so mad.»

The seconds spent staring at the cauldron – waiting for it to explode, seemed to last for small eternities when finally, the smoke slowly began to dissolve; eventually, you and Hongjoong decided to walk towards it, ready to run away from it once again if you saw something you didn’t like. However, a bright purple stone was floating in the boiling water, and you instinctively clapped your hands in front of your mouth.

«We did it?» you asked excitedly, watching Hongjoong crouch down and gently move the stone using the pliers placed on the table.

«Seems like it.» Hongjoong confirmed with the same tone.

Apparently, the two of you found the situation so paradoxical that you couldn’t help but erupt into a soft streak of giggles; for the first time, you forgot to force your voice to come out a little rougher, and as you laughed together, Hongjoong thought that he had never heard such a beautiful sound.

«Amateurs,» Yeosang shook his head from where he stood, and Seonghwa snorted.

On the last day you were supposed to spend with your friends, you couldn’t understand where did the terrible feeling creeping in your soul come from.

Although you’ve been feeling uneasy since you woke up, you tried your best not to alert anyone else, deducing that you were feeling anxious about the fact that you had to part from them in few hours. Since for the day you weren’t supposed to move from your momentary camping spot, you had enough time to get a little more familiar with your surroundings and therefore, to come up with an untraceable path; after all, you were a daughter of air and you could have simply used magic in order to expertly move the fallen leaves in order to cover your traces.

Eventually, Wooyoung proven to be a great distraction since - around the middle of the morning, announced that you and him were in charge of hunting for lunch.

«I believe it’s the best time to tell you I do not know how to hunt.» you confessed, but your friend simply laughed.

«It’s not difficult, I’ll teach you!» he lively answered, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as he always did, and you felt incredibly grateful about the fact that his enthusiasm – along with his laughter, was always incredibly contagious.

The remaining part of the morning consisted in Wooyoung placing traps in few different spots, before carefully teaching you how to correctly tie a rope.

«I’m sorry I haven’t been sleeping next to you these nights.» Wooyoung abruptly confessed, and you simply stared at him with a confused expression; you were the first one sneaking out from your blanket in order to go and talk with Hongjoong anytime you had a nightmare, so what was he sorry for, exactly?

«I miss you,» you confessed, «falling asleep while you talk about San had always prevented me from having nightmares.» you teased, and he lowered the rope he was tying with a dramatic move which made you smile, «aren’t you sleeping next to him now?» you questioned him, recalling that during the times you were keeping watch, you always saw them sleeping next to each other.

«He almost kissed me last night.» Wooyoung admitted, shyly; you could see his cheeks heathen, and you found him adorable, «he never tried to kiss me, aside from when we’re at the brothel.»

“Wait-”

«What?» you asked, thankful for the hood hiding your eyes as wide as the moon, «Aren’t you supposed to spend the night with one of the hosts?»

«Well… We… We share.» Wooyoung answered while scratching his nape, feeling incredibly small under your gaze – although he couldn’t see it.

«What… What do you mean…» you mumbled; you weren’t sure your words were intended to form an actual question. Wooyoung and San spent the night with the same person, and you absolutely did not want to know anything about it.

«It means that-»

«No.» your hand flew in front of your friend’s mouth, which immediately laughed at your reaction.

«I promise you, it’s fun-» Wooyoung tried to say, although your hand muffled his voice; however, you interrupted him again.

«I swear, I’ll find a way to shut you up using those ropes.» you added, noticing how Wooyoung’s fun was increasing as you continued to talk.

«Well, that’s something we do-»

«Wooyoung!» you half shrieked, half laughed due to your embarrassment.

«Okay, okay, I’m sorry.» he chuckled, lifting his hands in defeat. Luck was on your side, since few moments later, two hares decided to jump straight in Wooyoung’s traps.

As the two of you were carefully walking your way back towards your friends, you felt once again that terrible feeling but this time, it was as if it was preventing you to move forwards; noticing your sudden discomfort, Wooyoung gently placed a hand on your elbow, but before he could question you, a loud and hostile chatter immediately claimed your attention.

Although you couldn’t make out what they were talking about, it was clear that the noises came from where your friends were, and as you looked once again towards Wooyoung, you saw his jaw tense.

«Let’s go.» Wooyoung whispered, before carefully hanging the hares the two of you had captured to one of the nearest branches; the two of you walked closer to your friends as quietly as you could, taking shield behind a large oak tree.

As your eyes studied the horrifying situation in front of you, your heart started to hammer in your chest and you started to feel dizzy; Hongjoong and the others were tied up together with enchanted ropes and therefore, they could absolutely neither move, nor use any kind of magic.

In front of them stood ten men wearing very familiar black vests adorned with red details, and the fact that you could immediately recognize their uniform made your skin crawl in both fear and rage. They were, without any doubts, Disciples of the Serendia Shrine.

Glancing at Wooyoung, you felt petrified, unsure on what to do; there were ten of them, meaning that you and Wooyoung were outnumbered. How could you help your friends? Nevertheless, most importantly, were you strong enough to do that? As if you were having a silent conversation, Wooyoung nodded at you with his jaw tightly clenched as he slowly reached for the short dagger in his boot since he did not carry his bow along with himself during the hunt; you did the same, tightly gripping to the dagger hanging on your left thigh.

In the same moment you glanced back to your friends, any of the doubts forming in your head disappeared as you saw a sword lifting Hongjoong’s chin, and immediately, you and Wooyoung walked out from your hiding spot.

Thankfully, the fact that San taught you enough dishonest tricks on how to take down your opponent during a fight came in hand, and with a quick move, you managed to kick away the sword of the Disciple standing closer to you and stab him in the neck, his lifeless corpse falling at your feet. With a quick glance, you saw that Wooyoung had managed to kill the Disciple that was pointing a sword to Hongjoong and you immediately, inexplicably, felt relieved. As you and Wooyoung stood almost protectively in front of your friends ignoring their requests to run away; you were completely aware about the fact that you managed to kill two of them thanks to the surprise element, but you were also aware about the fact that elemental magic was something they did not possess.

The fact that they could only rely on magic crystal made them weaker than you were, since magic crystal possessed a limited quantitative of magic. Although the lives of your friends were completely in your hands, you tried your best in order to fight them without exposing yourself; with fatigue you and Wooyoung managed to take down other two Disciples, meaning that only six of them were remaining.

“We can win,” you thought, motivating yourself as you were facing yet another Disciple. Stupidly, you were so distracted with focusing on your opponent that you didn’t properly realized that the Disciples weren’t using magic crystals, and therefore, your hopes immediately faded from your heart as soon as you heard Wooyoung’s loud cry of pain. Dread tightly gripped your heart as you feared the worst, and you shortly adverted your attention from your opponent just to see that your friend was laying on the ground; Wooyoung was desperately clutching at his head, writhing in pain as one of the Disciples was pointing a magic crystal towards him with a victorious smile.

«What are you gonna do now? You’re all alone.» your opponent scoffed, and rage started to cloud your senses; without realizing it, your magic started to flow in your veins with much more intensity than it usually did. Instinctively, you ran towards Wooyoung in order to tackle the Disciple on the floor and annulling the magic crystal’s effect, but before you could do it, a flow of artificial magic roughly pulled against your arm, preventing you from moving further.

The Disciples must have thought you were a regular human, because the spell holding you in place was not particularly strong and therefore, you could easily break it. Moreover, although your plan didn’t succeed as you had planned to, at least the Disciple’s attention wasn’t any more focused on Wooyoung, meaning that your friend wasn’t anymore under the effect of the magic crystal; Wooyoung started to crawl back, but before he could join your friends, he was stopped by a blade pressed against his nape.

In that moment, you realized that you were the only one that could save them and at that point, you were completely ignoring your friends’ voices telling you to give up and to run away.

«Did you really think a pathetic little boy could defeat us?» the Disciple holding the crystal spat, and it was more than enough to make your blood boil; you’ve always despised them, what they did, their constant acting as if they were superior to other people. This is probably the main reason why you let out a humourless laugh into their face; it was either that or you had gone mad in less than half an hour.

Something seemed to settle in your soul, and it was as if you were completely aware that you were following the script that your fate had written for you; you know what you had to do, the power you could feel flowing inside you was enough of a hint.

«If a boy can’t do it,» you said, for the first time not forcing your voice to come out a little rougher, «how about a child of Air?» the surprise you saw reflecting in their eyes made you feel incredibly powerful, since they obviously didn’t expect something like this.

Adrenaline was rushing through your veins,and with a quick move you took off your hood, showing your face to other people for the first time in weeks; as your hair fell on your shoulders, you saw the shadow of recognition dance in the Disciples’ eyes, and you immediately realized that you didn’t have enough time to take notice of your friends’ reactions.

Immediately, you lifted your hands in front of you, your outstretched palms facing the Disciples; as you start to imperceptibly close your fingers towards the palm of your hands, you noticed them stop in their tracks, their hands immediately clutching at their throats. Taking a deep breath, you focused even more on not to lose concentration, and inexorably went on with your ministrations, happy about the fact that you could finally use the trick that one of the child of Air kept prisoner with you had taught you many years ago. The power of Air gave you an immense power on people’s ability to breathe, and as much as you closed your hand into a fist, people would be gradually troubled with breathing, until the point of suffocation.

That was exactly what you were doing to the Disciples; you closed your hand into a fist as slowly as you could – contrarily to the original technique, as if it would make them pay for all the years you and the others had to suffer until eventually, they all fell on the floor, lifeless. Said trick was dangerous, and you were definitely not immune to it: the more you would use it, the more it would consume you. Everyone had a weak spot, and for the sons and daughters of Air, the “grip of grudge” – as they called it, was it.

«You’re a girl?!» Mingi, Wooyoung and San shouted in disbelief.

«I knew it!» Yeosang exclaimed with a wide smile and a satisfied expression.

«You’re a child of Air?!» Yunho, Jongho and Hongjoong shouted at the same time.

“Oh, good grief,” you thought; your eyes widened at the realization that you indeed managed to save your friends, but you also exposed yourself.

With careful steps, you approached them in order to untie them from the enchanted ropes, without meeting anyone in the eyes.

«I already told you, I’m not a spy.» you groaned, pulling on your wrists in order to free yourself from the ivy ropes tightly handcuffing you; exactly like the first night you met them, even if you tried tugging on the ropes with all your strength, the roots seemed to get tighter instead of loosen.

«And why didn’t you tell us?» San spat, as if you’ve personally offended him; your eyes met Hongjoong’s gaze, but you couldn’t decipher his expression.

«Excuse me, Mr.Choi,» you spat back with a sarcastic tone, «what was I supposed to do? I barely ran away from the Shrine and I stumbled into you. If you didn’t notice, I’m a girl and you were eight men, pretending I was a boy was the most obvious thing to do!»

«She’s not a spy,» Seonghwa, which had been silent for all this time, quietly spoke for the first time, «I knew she was a girl, the only times she ran off were so that she could take a bath.» Hongjoong gaze kept burning into yours as his arms were crossed in front of his chest, and you wanted so badly to ask him what he was thinking about, even though you didn’t know why you felt so desperate to hear him talk in the first place.

«I don’t think she’s a spy, either.» Wooyoung shrugged, «she has been listening to me ramble about my crush for San for weeks. If she was a spy she would have ran away already.» despite your friend was hurt about the fact that you didn’t tell him the truth, he still considered you as his best friend and therefore, he instinctively stood up for you.

«Your what?!» San shrieked, his gaze immediately shifting to Wooyoung and suddenly, you weren’t the main topic anymore, «Since when? Damn, Wooyoung, why you never said anything?!»

«It’s not my fault you’re an idiot.» Wooyoung simply answered, not wanting to meet his friend’s gaze.

«Jongho,» Hongjoong addressed his friend – and shutting up the others’ ramblings, and your heart picked up pace in anticipation as you heard his voice for the first time, «untie her.» he simply added and Jongho nodded; not even a second later, as if they had their own will, the ivy ropes untied themselves and fell on the ground.

A soft gasp escaped your lips and your brows furrowed in the sudden realization of Jongho being a child of Earth, but before you could ask for clarifications, your attention was caught up by Hongjoong quickly reaching behind his head in order to untie the eyepatch on his right eye, before placing it in the pocket of his jacket.

«Finally, I couldn’t see shit with this on.» he mumbled quietly, and as your gaze locked with Hongjoong, you felt as if you couldn’t look away.

If you thought Hongjoong looked handsome while wearing an eyepatch on his eye, you definitely were in for a surprise; contrarily to what you believed, his eye was not damaged, it was bright red with some yellow shades in it. Hongjoong had mismatched eyes, and if you looked in his right one, it was as if you were looking at fire itself; it was bright, and it seemed to set your soul alight.

«It’s beautiful,» you mumbled in awe before realizing it; you distinctly saw Hongjoong adverting his gaze – almost as if he was embarrassed, while mumbling to you to shut up.

It was strange, because as soon as Hongjoong took the eyepatch off, everyone seemed to relax; few hours later you had set up a camp for the night, and as you started sharing stories, you realized that now, there weren’t any more secrets allowed.

«Okay, cihld of Air, it’s time to explain.» Hongjoong said, taking a seat in front of you as he watched you momentarily massage your still sore wrists, and you found it impossible to hide the truth anymore.

Taking your time, you told everything: first of all, you introduced yourself and then, you explained how you the Disciples kidnapped you when you were a child, about the experiments they did on people, about how you manage to ran away, about your lonely mission of destroying the Shrine. In the end, you told them everything, except for who you were.

«That’s pretty much our goal as well,» Mingi said, «I don’t see why you shouldn’t stay with us.» much to your relief, everyone agreed with him but still, you took advantage of the moment in order to ask what you desperately wanted to.

«What’s your goal, anyways?» you wondered, «We’ve been travelling for weeks.» Hongjoong scoffed at your question, and you felt your cheeks heathen; why, all of a sudden, you were feeling like this?

«Serendia Shrine is within the Capital’s territories,» Yunho explained, «working as mercenaries for the Capital’s Chief means that we get informations.»

Although you did not like where the conversation was going, you patiently waited for Yunho to finish.

«We want to know who the current leader of the Shrine is.» Yunho’s voice was gentle and yet, it was as if you could feel your heart stop; the leader was your father, and therefore, if they ever found out the truth, they would have inexorably found out about your identity as well.

«Isn’t it easier to destroy everything?» you tried, and San looked at you as if he was looking at some sort of divine apparition.

«I didn’t think you were that kind of person,» San placed his chin on the palm of his hand, suddenly looking interested with your suggestion, «I suggested it as well, but Hongjoong is curious.» he explained, and you nervously nodded at him.

«However, the spell you used before was amazing.» Jongho said, and you felt yourself smiling.

«I’ve been wanting to try the grip of grudge for years.» you said, feeling proud that you managed to successfully complete it despite it was your first try.

«Grip of grudge?» San questioned, curiously, and you just shrugged, explaining that was the name that the child of Air used as well, years ago, «that’s a cool name.»

«Isn’t it one of the forbidden spells?» Yeosang questioned, recalling something about a spell that ended up consuming the person whom casted it as well; sadly, you found yourself nodding.

«Forbidden or not, it saved your life, didn't it?» you simply answered, silently admitting to yourself that you didn’t care about your own magic consuming you, if it meant destroying the Shrine and the Disciples.

Now that you at least knew about their mission, you let your curiosity wander towards other places; hopefully, you’ll have enough time to make your friends change their mind about wanting to know who the Shrine’s leader was.

«I guess you’re a child of Earth?» you abruptly asked Jongho, which momentarily widened his eyes at the sudden question, before answering with a gentle smile and few repetitive nods of his head.

«I am!» he immediately added, «I’m sorry if the ropes hurt you… I can’t really do anything about it, the more you try to break free, the more they tighten.»

«Oh.» you simply answered, realizing that probably, if you had kept on pulling on them, you would have ended badly hurt.

Eventually, your eyes drifted towards Seonghwa; he said he knew you were a girl, but how?

As if he was reading your mind, he nervously coughed twice, before clarifying: «I’m a child of Water.»

Hearing his words, you stared blankly at him, as if the imaginary gears in your brain were slowly processing how could this information be related to him finding out you were a girl; few moments later, your eyes widened and you stared at him with an incredulous expression.

«Seonghwa, did you spy on me?» you questioned, suddenly ready to physically fight the gentle boy which had always treated you like you were a younger sibling.

«I didn’t!» Seonghwa hastily clarified, as he noticed that you were about to stand up, «I just saw your face reflected in the water.» he explained, partially lying, but it was more than enough to make you relax and make you sit back in your place.

Needless to say, your friends found the whole interaction amusing, at least, until Seonghwa decided to drop the bomb.

«Besides, you’re the one who always fell asleep hugging Hongjoong’s thigh, as soon as you came back from washing up.» Seonghwa’s words were accompanied with a sly smile, and suddenly, chaos was released; San, Wooyoung and Yeosang were staring at you, while the others were staring at Hongjoong, which was looking anywhere beside your face.

To be honest, Hongjoong’s eye was enough of a hint to find out his real identity, but you didn’t want for your thoughts to wander towards direction which could have been proven to be the wrong ones.

«Are you sure you’re not lying?» you questioned, «I remember falling asleep next to a warm-»

«Oh.» Yeosang cut off your sentence by immediately bringing his hands in front to his mouth, hiding an excited smile; you glanced at him with a curious expression, before Hongjoong’s voice clarified his friend’s behaviour.

«I’m a child of Fire.» Hongjoong said simply, and you could feel your heart hammering in your chest.

“Your soulmate is a child of Fire,” Karanda had said.

Hongjoong was a child of fire.

Hongjoong was your soulmate.

«And us, we’re all some cheap magicians.» Yunho added, and you timidly nodded, even though his words faintly reached your ears.

«Little hood, are you okay?» Wooyoung’s gentle voice was accompanied by him gently brush a strand of hair behind your ear, «you’re suddenly pale.»

“Get a hold of yourself,” you thought, before nodding at Wooyoung’s sudden question.

«A merchant - Alustin, called you by a strange nickname, if I’m not mistaken,» you questioned Hongjoong, which scoffed at the mention of the obnoxious merchant’s name, «but… Why?» you weren’t sure your question even made sense, but Hongjoong still answered you shortly after.

«It’s an old nickname I carry since I was a child, it's probably due to my eye,» his voice said, and you wondered why your friends seemed to suddenly tense up, «disciples can be creative, when they want to.» Hongjoong’s explanation was vague, but still, it left many options to be considered: he could have been a prisoner that managed to escape, or he just happened to meet them without having ever walked into the Shrine.

«People started to see that name under his wanted posters, and suddenly it’s not Hongjoong anymore, but he’s a mythological being.» San added before you could question him further, even though you knew that he would have probably brushed off the question with another vague answer.

«Wait, no this is so stupid.» Yeosang said, claiming your attention, «Beside the fact that my theory was right, we should have already figured out!» Yeosang let out a frustrated groan at the other’s oblivious stares, «Harpies don’t let men approach them; however she managed to heal one and walk in and out their territories.»

Apparently, it was enough for them to realize the truth behind what happened at the harpies’ ridge.

«Did you meet one of the deities?» Wooyoung questioned you, and you nodded.

«Karanda, the Goddess of-well, technically my mom?» nervously playing with your fingers, you simply explained them that Karanda had thanked you for saving one of her daughters, but you carefully avoided talking about your destiny or the fact that Hongjoong was your soulmate; you friends carefully listened to you, asking a lot of questions about what did she look like and anything they could have been curious about.

«I think our group is meant for something big.» Mingi cheered, «We’ve got four different elementalists and they’ve all met their parents!»

Now, it was your turn to listen to your friends’ stories. Jongho met the Goddess of Earth when he was still a kid; although he couldn’t remember every detail of that encounter, he clearly recalled that her appearance was the one of a giant tree in the middle of a clearing in the woods near where he lived. Jongho’s expression as he talked about her was serene, and you attentively listened about how long and strong the Goddess’ branches were and mostly, you curiously listened as he described the feminine figure carved in the cortex; he didn’t remember what she told him, only that she used her branches in order to untangle Jongho’s colourful kite before returning it to him.

«Well, I met him as well,» Seonghwa said with an embarrassed smile, and the others started laughing; you looked at them with a curious smile, and eventually, Mingi started explaining to you.

«We decided to rent a small ship, almost Viking style; it was nice, it had dragons details and shields attached to its sides,» Mingi explained while gesturing with his hands, «Apparently, the God of Water was in some underwater ruins… We managed to find out the locations, and waited literally on top of said ruins.»

«Seonghwa told us to wait for him,» Hongjoong added, picking up from where his friend left off, preventing Seonghwa from saying anything «And so we looked at him dive into the water and we just waited. At some point, we saw Seonghwa crawling out of the water quite far away from where we were; he started running at super speed towards the ship while walking on water, and-» since Hongjoong couldn’t stop laughing, Yunho added some other details.

«While he was running, Seonghwa was gesturing some strange things with his arms, which we obviously couldn’t understand because he was still far from the ship.» your eyes drifted to Seonghwa, which was looking at his friends with a blush on his cheeks, mumbling every now and then that they were purposely exaggerating the story, but Yunho didn’t mind him.

«We were trying to understand what he was trying to say when a giant monster partially came out from the surface – with pointed fangs and everything, and we had to pray that the ship wouldn’t sink because if the sudden rough waves. That was Seonghwa’s dad.»

«We eventually met underwater.» Seonghwa added, «He was just happy to meet one of his children.»

«We almost died.» Yeosang emphasized, and although the experience must have been terrifying, they kept laughing together about it.

As your eyes met Hongjoong’s gaze in a silent question, he shrugged, «It’s a story for another time, we should prepare dinner, at this point.»

«About that,» San suddenly cleared his throat, looking at Wooyoung, «come with me for a second.» he didn’t give Wooyoung actual time to answer, because he simply helped him get up on his feet and dragged him away.

With a dejected sigh, you figured your talk with Wooyoung was inevitably postponed; despite his behaviour didn’t change, you didn’t fail to notice the sadness in his eyes every time your gaze met and therefore, you wanted to confront him, scared to have lost your most valued friend.

Eventually, you spotted Wooyoung few meters away from the others, busy skinning the hares the two of you had captured hours earlier; taking a deep breath, you decided to walk towards him.

«How angry are you?» you crouched down next to Wooyoung; you timidly hugged your knees, and Wooyoung sighed.

«I’m not angry, I’m just… Hurt.» he admitted, slowly cleaning the blade of his knife with a towel which was sprawled on his left thigh.

«I’m sorry,» you said, but he shook his head.

«It’s not about you,» he immediately clarified, «I would have done the same, I’m hurt at my own behaviour. I was so caught up with my feelings that I didn’t paid enough attention to the fact that you were hiding something much more important.»

«Are we still best friends?» you hesitantly questioned him, after telling him that you didn’t mind to listen to him.

«Of course we are,» Wooyoung scoffed, as if he was stating the obvious; he quickly cleaned his hands and placed the knife on the towel, before opening his arms towards you, «come here, give me a hug, lil’ sis.»

The realization that Wooyoung didn’t mind about your real identity made your heart swell, and therefore you threw yourself in his arms, happy that he hugged you just as tight.

«Hey, little hood?» Wooyoung mumbled few seconds later, and you hummed in a silent answer, «don’t run away from us.»

It was such a simple sentence, and yet, you felt like crying; finally, you allowed for that feeling of belonging to settle in your soul, finally letting yourself go and giving up to that part of you that kept making you feel as if your friends were your home.

«I won’t.» you mumbled back, and Wooyoung’s arms tightened.

«Oh, by the way, me and San are together now.» Wooyoung happily announced, as your embrace eventually came to an end; you covered your mouth with both your hands, urging him to tell you everything that happened.

The pleasant feeling of admitting you were going to take a bath without running away and hiding yourself was something you’d never thought you could feel; you were happy about how things turned out, and you were happy about how easily your friends accepted the fact that you were a girl.

Sitting by the river, you kept wetting your fingers every now and then, trying to figure out if the water would eventually get any warmer; since it was night, you probably deduced it wouldn’t. As you thought once again about the events of the day, you sat on the grass while being partially undressed; your cape was neatly folded few steps from you along with your jacket and your leather boots, leaving you with your pants and a loose cotton shirt.

A sudden rustle of leaves caught your attention, and you saw Hongjoong walk out of it with lazy step, his crimson eye somehow shining in the dark.

«Oh, sorry.» he said, when he finally noticed you; you felt your cheeks heathen, recalling that the boy in front of you was supposed to be your soulmate.

«It’s okay, I was about to leave, the water it’s too cold anyways.» you shrugged with a polite smile, trying to stand up when his voice stopped you.

«I can help with that.» Hongjoong said, and you felt your heartbeat quicken because, what could he possibly mean with that?

Hongjoong turned around and patiently waited for you to completely get in the water before walking towards where you were, sitting on the grass with his back towards you. Despite your constant whines about the water being too cold, as soon as Hongjoong sat on the edge of the river while leaning back to support his weight with his left hand and the other immersed in the water, everything changed.

«Fire can be really useful in these situations.» Hongjoong said, and your eyes were locked on his back as a sudden warmth enveloped you; the water started to become warmer, and he explained that it was a sensation that only you could feel.

It was pleasant, and as you cleaned yourself while sharing a comfortable silence, the more you let yourself enjoy that sensation, the more you felt like you were about to doze off.

«Listen,» Hongjoong said out of the blue, «I’m sorry. I treated you kinda roughly at the beginning, with the training and everything.»

«I honestly can’t blame you,» you shrugged, walking towards the edge of the river in order to place your elbows on the grass. «I’m sorry about lying, despite you did a lot to help me.»

Hongjoong sighed quietly, «I can’t really blame you.» he lifted the hand that he kept in the water, in a silent way to signal you that that bath time was over, since the water’s temperature immediately turned cold; however, you noticed how he simply kept his hand in mid-air, his pinky finger weakly turned upwards.

«No more lies?» Hongjoong asked, still looking forwards even though you could see his profile from where you stood. Hearing such a gentle and innocent question, you felt your heart sink; you were still lying about who your father was, but you couldn’t bring yourself to confess that, not yet. You were afraid that their behaviour would instantly change despite the fact that you hated him just as much as they did.

«No more lies.» with a sad smile and your heart heavy, you interlocked his pinky with yours, the natural warmth of his hand sending shivers on your skin.

«Why do you look so flustered?» San questioned as soon as you walked back to the small campfire while still drying your hair with a towel.

«I don’t? I took a bath.» you shook your head, running a hand through your damp hair as if it would make them dry faster.

«Wait,» Mingi said, «Didn’t Hongjoong go to take a bath as well?» you saw Seonghwa choke on the bite of food, and Wooyoung immediately started screaming.

It took you at least half an hour to explain them what actually happened, and still, they didn’t completely believe you.

«Hongjoong,» you called out as soon as he walked back and joined you, «can you please tell them that nothing happened back there?»

As if you were sitting among a group if children and not mercenaries, seven heads snapped towards Hongjoong, eyeing him curiously.

Hongjoong, however, simply shrugged while furrowing his brows, «Was that really nothing?» he teased with a smug smile.

«Oh, good grief,» you and Wooyoung said at the same time, but the emotions you were feeling were totally the opposite.

If you hid your face in your hands due to his teasing, Wooyoung hid a surprised smile behind his hands, his eyes as wide as the moon and his voice as loud that you were sure he could resemble a harpy much better than you could.

Few days later, you realized with deject that it was impossible for you and your friends to enjoy some peace and quiet; apparently, inexplicably, some of the Disciples must have found out that Hongjoong and the others were dangerously close to the Shrine and therefore, instead of waiting for them, they choose to look for them.

That’s how you found yourself fighting against the Disciples yet another time – still hiding your identity, but this time, both you and your friends didn’t have to hold back anymore. This time, you decided to freely use both your magic and the tricks you taught yourself and therefore, you were fighting with a short dagger while using your powers in order to move another longer sword in the air, meaning that your movements were much less predictable rather than if you were fighting while physically holding onto it.

Mingi, Yeosang, Yunho, San and Wooyoung kept using their usual fighting style while the others were now openly using their magic. Jongho’s powers were more suitable for close combat, since his style had always been fighting while literally throwing hands; however, as his eyes turned bright green, he repeatedly used magic in order to occasionally create walls of moving sand erupting from the ground right in front of his friends in order to shield them from eventual unexpected attacks, if they needed.

Seonghwa still kept his distance, relying on his bow and the alchemy stones embedded in it; thanks to Yeosang idea, Seonghwa could transmit part of his magic into his arrow, and therefore, anytime his eyes turned deep blue, it meant that his arrows had the capacity to hurt his opponents from within their bodies. Even if his arrow didn’t necessarily hit a vital point, his opponent would still feel like drowning, eventually coughing up water until the point of suffocation; the effect of his spell was a little bit like yours, even though they worked in different ways – for example Seonghwa could use it freely and without any repercussion.

Hongjoong’s style was, to say the least, both mesmerizing and distracting; for a start, the blades he used to fight were in flames. Although he seemed to dance while elegantly killing his opponents, he never bothered to focus enough so that both his eyes could turn crimson; thanks to his mismatched eyes, he could easily use a big amount of magic without repercussions. Secretly, you wondered what would have happened if he summoned enough magic to make both his eyes turn the same bright colour.

However, despite the fact that you and your friends were fighting with all your might, you were outnumbered and therefore, you were gradually backed towards a dangerous looking bridge. Thanks to Jongho’s spell, you could momentarily forget about your horses since they were safely hidden thanks to his magic and therefore, you found yourself silently following the directions where the Disciples were pushing you to.

The bridge seemed anything but stable; made of ropes and wooden tiles – some more intact than others, the bridge swayed over a cliff, gently moved by the wind. Although no one of you seemed thrilled to walk on something so dangerously looking, you were completely aware that you didn’t have any other choice; besides, if you made it to the other side, Jongho could have made the part of the ground the Disciples were standing on fall into the cliff, meaning that you just needed to buy your friends time. This is the main reason why you and Hongjoong stayed behind – although you kept ignoring your soulmate telling you to join the others.

«They’re trying to cut the ropes!» Mingi screamed, and yet, you and Hongjoong kept fighting on the unstable bridge, although it definitely was not easy, even if your friends had taught you plenty of fighting techniques.

With a groan, you lifted the palm of your hands towards the disciples, thinking that using your magic was the best solution but, before you could even summon enough magic, Hongjoong’s hand roughly wrapped around your wrist, pulling it downwards and immediately annulling the spell.

«Why?!» you quickly questioned him, defending yourself from one of the Disciple’s attacks.

«Stop wasting your magic like that.» Hongjoong simply answered, not bothering to look at you; instinctively you scoffed, and with a twist of your dagger, you sent another disciple down the bridge, when a sudden terrifying sensation made you look down.

Before you realized that the wooden tiles you were walking on were falling into the cliff, Hongjoong’s weight crashed against you, literally preventing you from falling as well as he was tightly clutching the wooden tiles. Instinctively, you took a hold of the rope next to you, while your arm instinctively snaked around Hongjoong’s neck, too scared to die to realize that you were tightly hugging him for the first time in your life. Despite your fear, you tried to focus, partially annulling the impact of the unavoidable crash between the two of you and the side of the cliff, and sighed in relief when you managed to land gently against the rocky surface.

Now that you were finally still, you realized the compromising position the two of you were in: if you were practically hugging Hongjoong, his hands were tightly gripping the wooden tiles behind your neck and his boot was safely placed on top of one of them, meaning that one of his thighs was between yours and therefore, you were practically sitting on his thigh. Needless to say, beside riding together, you and Hongjoong had never been so close while facing each other; the sensation of his natural warmth completely enveloping you made you shiver, and despite the dangerous situation, Hongjoong was staring at you in a way you couldn’t decipher, his gaze burning into yours just like the fire that burned in his right eye.

Once again, you felt a weird and unfamiliar sensation tingling in your stomach, and the fact that Hongjoong’s gaze shifted from your eyes to your lips didn’t help; as if you were two little magnets, both of you were completely aware about the fact that you were slowly and tentatively inching closer to each other. Honestly, you were anticipating the feeling of Hongjoong’s lips against yours but, as your noses brushed against each other, your friends loudly called out your names.

«Hang in there!» you heard Seonghwa shout from above you, «We’ll get a rope and pull you up!»

Unbeknownst to the two of you, no one of your friend were going to lift a finger in order to try to help you; instead, they all shared the same thought as they all comfortably sit on the grass, ready to look extremely busy once they’d eventually saw the two of you climb up.

«Just to make it clear, if anyone tries to pull them up, will be personally drowned by me.» Seonghwa clarified to his friends while glancing down to the two of you for a last time with a knowing smile.

Hongjoong, eventually, had helped you rearrange your position so that the two of you could start climbing up; it was probably the best idea the two of you had since, few minutes later, the ladder totally disintegrated and fallen down. If you were to be honest, you didn’t know how your friends solved the situation with the Disciples, and at the moment, you didn’t care; you and Hongjoong were trying to climb up and judging from where you were situated, you wouldn’t have managed to see your friends for hours to say the least.

«Hongjoong,» you called to the boy which was effortlessly climbing the rocky cliff wall, but still, obviously slowing his movements in order to help you as well, «Hongjoong.» you repeated.

«What.» Hongjoong glanced down and furrowed his brows, confused about how could a daughter of Air be so afraid of falling off a cliff; among the two of you, the one who should have been more fearful should have been him, not you.

«I’m stuck.» you announced in a dramatic and panicked way; Hongjoong scoffed, carefully balancing himself to lean back just enough to give you any advice on where you should have used as an eventual lever.

«You’re not stuck-»

«Yes, I am! Look,» in order to prove your point, you nodded towards the rocky cliff’s wall, «I can’t balance myself on anything, nor up, nor below. Hongjoong, I can’t climb up, I can’t climb down; I can’t climb up, I can’t climb down.»

«Look, I’ll help you, okay?» to say that Hongjoong was trying to refrain himself from laughing was an euphemism, «place your hand in that recess, the one resembling a curlew’s nest.»

«A what?!» you shrieked, briefly glancing at Hongjoong to see that he was quietly chuckling to himself, «can’t you say “nest shaped” like everyone else?!» nonetheless, you listened to his advice and eventually, your hand was placed above your head and next to his leg.

«Now,» Hongjoong said, «place your feet on that ledge.»

«There is no ledge.» you said through gritted teeth.

«There is, I climbed before you did,» he mocked, «come on, it looks like a… Wildebeest’s hoof.»

«Wildebeest’s hoof?!» at this point, you were refraining yourself from using your powers just to physically fight him in mid-air, «I don’t know what a wildebeest looks like, should I know how a wildebeest’s hoof looks like?!»

Despite your constant bickering, you managed to climb up a little higher, and now you were right next to Hongjoong, which was basically doing twice the work since he had to keep an eye your movements as well.

«Why are you so scared?» Hongjoong’s question surprised you, as he was tapping the empty space where you should have put your hand, which was coincidentally, under his own, «if you fall, you can easily fly back up.»  

«Who cares if I fall, Hongjoong,» your sudden answer surprised you as well, «you got that "Dragon" status, but I highly doubt that you can fly like one as well!» Hongjoong’s gaze burned into yours once again, before eventually, he adverted his gaze.

«You should worry about yourself, not me.» he added with a sigh, feeling strangely glad that you’ve been worried about him as well, «Let’s stay close, okay?» he added, and you nodded immediately.

Eventually, the two of you managed to climb up with extreme fatigue, and still, you did your best trying not to pay too much attention to the pleasing sensation that you felt every time Hongjoong wrapped one of his arms around your waist in order to temporarily helping you balance yourself.

In the end, your friends’ help consisted in grabbing your hands and pull you up as soon as they saw that you were basically arrived, after climbing literally half of the cliff’s wall by yourselves.

«Oh, just in time for dinner,» Yunho and Seonghwa said, momentarily taking their eyes off the pot on top of the bonfire, and you and Hongjoong exchanged an exasperated look as you were both sitting on the grass, trying to catch your breath while your hands felt numb. Wooyoung was apparently treating a wound on San’s thighs – who you didn’t remember getting hurt, while Yeosang and Mingi were busy fixing the archers’ bows.

As if he noticed your suspicious stares, Jongho quickly lifted his arms while pointing at the horses, «I used my magic bringing them here.» «Come on,» Hongjoong said, patting your elbow before standing up and walk towards the others, «you must be starving as well.»

That night, you felt so exhausted about what happened that you didn’t realize about the fact that you and Hongjoong had fell asleep facing each other, your hands millimetres apart.

CHAPTER VI

Without any warning, Hongjoong quickly moved his wrist upwards, creating an incandescent spear of fire that erupted from the ground while setting on fire part of the grass around itself as well, which you immediately avoided by jumping backwards, your eyes turning grey as you summoned your magic in order to move faster and to throw makeshift spears created with compressed air, and purposely making them land in a circle around Hongjoong.

Hongjoong’s talent of not having to focus in order to summon elemental magic due to his mismatched eyes definitely made him a powerful, dangerous and unpredictable opponent, thing which made your training even more intense since you could never get particular hints on what would have been his next move. Moreover, he definitely had more experience than you in battle, another thing that put you in a slight disadvantage. No matter what, Hongjoong’s expression always remained impassive and stoic, as if he was practicing some sort of ordinary, boring task instead of fighting, main reason why he managed to get under your skin, making you want to get better enough to see some kind of different emotion on his delicate handsome features.

«That was nice, you’re getting better.» he praised with a brief nod while briefly glancing around himself, his expression unbothered as if he was completely certain that you wouldn’t have hurt him, and you found yourself smiling at his words. Once again, you had to force yourself to focus on what you were doing, since it was crazy how Hongjoong could have such an effect on you.

Despite your noticeable progress with elemental combat, you were aware about the fact that you were lacking in any kind of fight that was close ranged and therefore, that’s how you and your soulmate would spend the majority of your time; even though you were completely used to how strict he was anytime you were training together, you were definitely much less used to how easily it was for him to manhandle you. Hongjoong kept patiently teaching you, giving you tips and occasionally correct your posture, and sometimes, you had to refrain yourself from leaning into his touch; you started to wonder if your actions were based on your real feelings or on your soulmate bond, since things have never been like this between the two of you.

Hongjoong’s grip on you was strong, and feeling his body pressed against yours made you briefly hesitate on your counterattack; however, as you felt your body starting to fall towards the ground, you tried to place your whole weight towards the opposite direction. As quickly as you could, you shifted in order to place your right foot behind Hongjoong’s right leg in order to reverse the situation and successfully make him fall on the grass, but the grip he had on you was strong enough to cause you to fall along with him.

It was strange, despite the fact that you spent hours training, how your heart immediately picked up pace because of such a close contact; you were sitting on Hongjoong’s stomach, your eyes wide and your lips slightly parted with stupor. Hongjoong’s hands were on your thighs, and he was looking at you as if he was waiting for your next move, which never came. There was something behind his gaze, something way too intense and complicated, something that you couldn’t understand, but it was enough to make you advert your gaze as you felt your cheeks heathen in embarrassment.

«I think I won.» you felt incredibly stupid at the fact that your voice trembled; you and Hongjoong rarely practiced hand to hand combat, it was always you and San, but the young assassin was definitely not your soulmate and therefore, you definitely felt nothing beside your desire of getting better at fighting.

However, this time, you were beginning to feel another kind of desire; it was completely unknown to you, and still, for once you felt as if you weren’t afraid by your own emotions. Of course, it happened to be harshly tackled on the ground by San and it also happened for the two of you to tease each other about how slowly you reacted, but San’s touch didn’t seem to set your soul alight or send small sparks all along your skin.

Hongjoong’s hands were warm, and as he slowly caressed your thighs until he reached the back of your legs while applying some pressure along the path his fingers were drawing, you instinctively found yourself timidly wondering how his touch would feel on your naked skin.

«Ah, really? I think you didn’t.» Hongjoong answered with a smug smirk, quickly snapping you out of your thoughts, but before you could question him, your perspective of the world changed in less than a second.

Thanks to the grip he had on you, Hongjoong had quickly pushed against your right thigh with his left hand, while his right forearm flew behind your head so that you wouldn’t get hurt in the process; your hands instinctively found their place against Hongjoong’s chest as your soulmate was now effectively pinning you on the ground, comfortably laying between your legs.

«Mind to explain what got you distracted?» Hongjoong questioned, gently removing his left arm from under your head in order to partially balance his weight on it by placing his chin on the palm of his hand and therefore, bringing the two of you irremediably closer.

“We’re soulmates and I’ve never been close to someone like this, beside San, which I basically consider as a brother”, you thought, “and you need to stop being so effortlessly handsome”.

Despite the silent conversation you were having with yourself, Hongjoong was unmoving, still gazing at you with his intense stare; you knew that he was waiting for an answer, and although he had dropped this kind of topic every other time, you realized that this time, he wasn’t settling for less.

«You-» you honestly admitted with a sigh without thinking about it too much, «No wait, I didn’t mean that-» Hongjoong’s eyes widened in stupor, while you felt your cheeks heathen in embarrassment even more, while your heart was wildly hammering in your chest.

«Well, little hood,» Hongjoong said, his smug smile never leaving his lips; he moved the hand which was holding your thigh in order to gently ghost his index finger above your lower lip, «you’re interesting, aren’t you?» he mumbled, probably much more to himself.

Exactly like the other time you happened to be so close in a somewhat compromising position, you realized that yet again, the both of you were unconsciously leaning closer; your noses were millimetres apart, and you almost felt the sensation of his lips against yours. It was as if you were certain that your soulmate cold feel the wild rhythm of your heart beating against your ribs until eventually, Hongjoong sighed, slowly moving back in order to sit up.

«Come on, little hood, let’s go,» Hongjoong stood up, offering you a hand to help you stand up as well, «the village is not that far.» you quickly took his hand and let him pull you up, so that the two of you could walk back towards the others.

Hongjoong held your hand for few seconds, and in the moment he left it, it was if as the thin wall of lies and secrets which was preventing the two of you to completely let yourselves go to your feelings, immediately stood impossibly tall between the two of you once again.

The remaining part of the day was spent travelling through thick fog and trying to identify the source of the horrible feeling that was creeping in your soul.

Moreover, you didn’t understand how your friends managed to orientate themselves so effortlessly because apparently, they seemed not to be bothered the least by the fact that the thick layer of mist prevented you from seeing anything that stood in front of your own nose, reason why you were constantly talking with each other in order to make sure that no one would have been left behind on accident. Although your friends had always fondly made fun of you for the fact that you always managed to feel colder than the others, it was as if the bitter cold was cutting your face; despite the presence of your soulmate right behind you, you couldn’t help but shudder every now and then, still feeling as if you were freezing and as if the cold was penetrating your bones, main reason why your actions suddenly got a little bit bolder.

Certain about the fact that Hongjoong would have been able to hold the reins even while using one hand, you applied a little pressure on his left hand, until he eventually let go of the thin leather material, thinking that you wanted to challenge yourself and try steering the horse in such a difficult situation. However, instead of taking the reins, you placed Hongjoong’s hand on your stomach, keeping it there long enough for him to realize that you completely meant your actions; your soulmate instinctively moved his hand a little further - until he touched your ribs on top the fabric of your clothes, before pulling you flush against his chest. Needless to say, Hongjoong never questioned your behaviour, and you never felt like explaining yourself; it was some sort of a silent agreement which the both of you enjoyed more than you were supposed to admit. Moreover, since you and your friends were forced to proceed in an extremely slow pace, Hongjoong’s chin was placed on your right shoulder, your bodies following the horse’s movement by inertia.

«Where are we headed?» you lively questioned your friends in order to keep the conversation going but despite their answers, you instinctively tilted your head to hear your soulmate’s soft mumble.

«The man which had sent us on a mission lives in Glish,» he explained, «since we won’t have any more mission at the moment, we’ll spend few weeks there.»

«Is it always going to be this cold?» you immediately mumbled back with a concerned voice, which made Hongjoong chuckle softly.

«It’s going to be even worse, sunshine.» Hongjoong’s new and sudden nickname made the strange butterflies you felt in your stomach do somersaults, and for a second, you wondered if he would ever return your feelings once he would have found out the truth about you.

«- incredible stock of crystals.» you heard Mingi say from ahead of you.

«Well, the village is pretty close to Serendia Shrine after all.» Yunho retorted from next to him; panic momentarily pervaded your senses and you were glad that your soulmate’s hold was somehow anchoring you to reality.

«The village’s defence system is great, tho.» Seonghwa commented, his voice coming from right next of your horse.

«I think the Disciples must have gotten the idea from the Lake of Tears.» Hongjoong said while moving his thumb in a gentle manner - almost as if he understood your silent and panicked state and was trying to calm you a little bit, and Wooyoung immediately agreed, «I love that legend.» you heard your best friend add from behind you and your soulmate.

«Aren’t the lake’s crystals not usable for magic?» Jongho questioned, riding next to Wooyoung and San, and you heard the latter echo his friend’s question as well.

«They are not,» Yeosang confirmed, quietly riding next to Yunho and Mingi, «no one has ever been able to use any of them for magic purposes.»

«Maybe that’s how the legend was born?» San questioned with a curious voice.

«The legend is real, you idiot.» Wooyoung immediately answered his lover.

“We will be close to the Shrine,” you thought; however, as you heard your bestfriend’s loud and contagious laughter, you were immediately reminded about the promise the two of you had made.

“I promised him I wouldn’t leave… I’ll have to figure something else out.” with an almost inaudible sigh, you tried to relax in Hongjoong's embrace, forcing yourself to ignore the uneasiness you still felt in your soul.

Glish was a small and quiet village surrounded by mist and by a thick, tall wall that ran along the perimeter, making it safe and protected; not far away, a cobbled path led to a small lake which had become the main destination of your lonely night walks. Surrounded by crystals that seemed to glow an infinite shade of different colours under the moonlight, the lake seemed to bring inner peace to your soul anytime you looked at it; it wasn’t particularly wide, and on a rare sunny and fog-free day, you were sure you would have been able to see it completely. Almost every night, you sat on one of the wooden benches, losing yourself in your thoughts until you decided it was definitely too cold to stay outside any further.

«Beautiful, isn’t it?» Wooyoung caught your attention by sitting next to you one evening; you nodded at him, asking to tell you more about the legend he mentioned few days earlier.

«A child of Water fell in love with a boy who couldn’t use magic at all,» Wooyoung’s voice explained, «for some reason, her family was opposed to their relationship and eventually, they killed the boy in front of her eyes. The legend says that she held his body and while she was mourning, she used all the magic in her in order to turn herself into the lake – which actually never existed before.»

Wooyoung stopped to chuckle at your momentarily confusion, «she said that they were in love, that they were “soulmates”. She cried and mourned his lover until she became the lake herself, and apparently… becoming her soulmate’s tomb as well.»

«That’s… Romantic…» you tried, «a little extreme, but romantic.» Wooyoung nodded at you, and a comfortable silence momentarily fell between the two of you as you were both gazing at the lake’s peaceful surface which was reflecting the weak light of the moon shining in the sky.

“Is love meant to be this tragic?” you thought, “Would anyone willing to do something like this for the person they love?” Spending your life in a lonely, dark and humid cell while being aware that you would end up becoming a human sacrifice, inevitably meant that you’ve never experienced anything that anyone was meant to experience.

After all, the first proper hug you’ve received in your life was the one that Wooyoung gave you when the two of you had talked about the fact that you were hiding the truth about your identity and being a childof Air.

«Wooyoung… How do you know if you like someone?» you timidly asked, feeling bashful for such a stupid and yet complicated question; even though Wooyoung – and San, particularly loved to tease you about the fact that you didn’t even realize your own feelings, he decided to ignore his instinct to tease you yet again for just one night.

«Well,» Wooyoung sighed, leaning back on the wooden bench and trying to find a more comfortable position, «I guess you feel different towards them… I believe it’s a collection of small little things that make you think about a certain person or, wanting to be with them,» you patiently listened to him, «I know I’m being repetitive and I hate myself for it but… During the years, anytime I was happy, I wanted to share my happiness with San, and anytime I was sad, he was the only person I wanted to comfort me.» you nodded again, keeping silent and exhaling a soft sigh because what Wooyoung had just said was exactly how you were feeling towards your soulmate.

«Do you like Hongjoong?» Wooyoung asked all of a sudden, and you were still so lost in thoughts that you instinctively nodded without processing his question.

«I-… I don’t know.» you admitted, playing with the fabric of your cape, «I feel a lot of things towards him and at the same time, I don’t know how I feel.»

«I think he likes you.» Wooyoung shrugged, as if he already knew what you would have said, and therefore, he didn’t pay too much attention to your words, «Well, it’s pretty clear he likes you, however…»

«I feel like there’s a wall between us.» you cut off his sentence; since Wooyoung was your bestfriend, you allowed yourself to confess to him about the times the two of you almost kissed, completely aware that your secret would have been safe with him. Nevertheless, you decided not to tell him about what Karanda had told you; the fact that you and Hongjoong were soulmates would have been your own personal secret.

Wooyoung listened patiently but with a big and teasing smile on his lips, before shifting his gaze once again on the lake’s surface, his expression growing incredibly gentle, «Hongjoong carries a big secret that’s not for me to tell.» Wooyoung said, shaking his head at your questioning gaze; «He will tell you himself and, from that moment, you can be sure that’s his way to tell you that he trusts you with his life.»

“How can he trust a liar?” you asked yourself as you tilted your head back, your gaze lost in the infinity of stars shining in the sky.

«And so, it’s raining.» you sighed, playing with the handle of the full chalice in front of you.

«Again.» San completed your sentence, before sighing deeply, the both of you glancing towards the big window of the tavern you decided to spend your evening in.

«My hair becomes a mess when it rains,» you heard Wooyoung’s dejected voice mumble from in front of you, and you quietly chuckled at his comment.

Since the day you arrived in Glish, you kept feeling distressed, and even though you couldn’t identify the source of your own feelings, you deduced it was because the village was close to the Shrine, since the last thing you wanted was for the Disciples to find your friends and capture them. Your friends lively conversations faintly reached your ears, as you partially pretended to take part in the conversation as well by asking something every now and then in order to distract yourself from your own thoughts. Moreover, at this point of the night, most of them were tipsy, leaving you, Seonghwa, Hongjoong and Jongho sober enough to realize you would have to take care of them.

«You really don’t like beer, don’t you?» Seonghwa’s gentle and soft voice interrupted your thoughts, and you simply shook your head with a frown, slightly scrunching your nose while looking at the boy sitting next to you; wordlessly, Seonghwa took a hold of your chalice, before replacing it with Jongho’s empty one.

«Are you trying to get me drunk?» the younger immediately questioned his friends.

«You talk as if you don’t have the highest alcohol tolerance among us,» Seonghwa giggled, before briefly nodding towards you, «little hood doesn’t like the taste of beer.»

«Oh!» Jongho immediately said, his gentle eyes wide in stupor, «You could have said it earlier.» he added; you thanked Jongho, only for him to shrug with a gentle smile.

If somewhere in between this small conversation you felt Hongjoong placing his hand on your thigh as he was still talking with Mingi and Yunho, you didn’t say anything, not even when you felt his grip on you imperceptibly tighten in the same moment Wooyoung decided to stand up in order to walk around the table and hug your shoulders.

«Seonghwa, you’re a child of Water,» Wooyoung stated, placing his chin on top of your head and loosely hug your shoulders, «can’t you make the rain stop?»

«Of course I can, but I won’t.» Seonghwa explained, «I shouldn’t interfere with natural events… On top of that, if you’re concerned for your appearance, I’m sure your boyfriend doesn’t mind.» he teased, and Wooyoung’s eyes darted towards San.

«You don’t?» he asked, his eyes wide as if he had never thought about asking him. San shook his head with an enamoured smile, and Wooyoung let go of your shoulders in order to quickly walk back to his lover with a cute and crooked walk, since he probably had too much to drink; both you and Seonghwa scoffed, laughing at your friend’s behaviour.

Few hours later, even without Seonghwa’s help, the rain stopped and you found yourself yet another time sitting on the bench next to the Lake. Silently cursing yourself for not bringing along a warmer cloak or some sort of blanket, you placed your boots on the wooden bench, hugging your knees closer to your chest as you shuddered yet another time.

As your eyes were fixed on the lake’s surface and the breath-taking scenery in front of you, you placed your chin on your left knee; the whirlwind of thoughts running around in your head was confusing you to say the least. From the moment your friends found out you were a girl, some things drastically changed; for example, San stopped teaching you hand-to-hand combat almost altogether.  Honestly, there was something incredibly suspicious about the fact that he would always assign the task to Hongjoong, which made you quickly realize that his behaviour wasn’t consequential to the fact that you were a girl. Moreover, both him and Wooyoung seemed to find incredibly funny the idea of teasing you about the nature of your relationship with Hongjoong, thing which always left you incredibly flustered. 

«I said I don’t like him!» you’d say every time the three of you were alone, glancing around in fear of being heard by someone else; as if it was a pre-arranged script, San would scoff at you while leaning on Wooyoung’s lap, which would immediately run his fingers through his lover’s raven and red hair. 

«We really have a lot to do, don’t we?» Wooyoung gently smiled while looking down at San with his eyes full of adoration. 

San shrugged, glancing at his lover with an enamoured smile before turning his attention on you once again, «We’re doomed, she doesn’t even realize she has a crush.»  

«First of all, I don’t,» you immediately retorted with flushed cheeks, crossing your arms in front of your chest, «and look who’s talking.» you teased, immediately smiling about the fact that both boys stuck their tongues out in perfect synchronization. Despite their teasing, Wooyoung had never mentioned what you confessed to him, thing which you were grateful for. 

Moreover, “confusing” was how you would describe your feelings and your relationship with Hongjoong. 

If you were to be completely honest with yourself, nothing changed since he found out you were a girl but at the same time, you felt like everything between the two of you was different; you could definitely see that there were some sort of deep feelings well hidden behind his gaze but at the same time, you never brought yourself to inquiry any further.  After all, between the two of you, a thick wall made of intertwined lies and secret was still standing tall.  Not to forget, you and Hongjoong had never talked about the fact that you almost kissed twice; although sometimes the both of you would secretly recall the moment with anticipation, you both felt like there was some sort of line you were both too scared to cross.  On top of that, something extremely suspecting was going on between Yeosang, Mingi and Yunho; they’d almost spend all of their free time studying, doing researches, leafing through the pages of their complicated alchemy books as they restlessly plotted something. 

«We can’t tell you, yet.» Mingi had told you, his apologetic eyes shortly meeting yours as the cauldron in front of them almost immediately called his attention. 

Beside the fact that they would sometimes disappear for a whole day on some kind of secret mission, Seonghwa and Jongho seemed to be the only ones that had remained themselves, showing you around town and acting like some sort of always concerned older sibling.

No matter where your thoughts went to, they always seemed to lead towards the same direction. Even if you knew Hongjoong was your soulmate, you didn’t know whether you would have been capable to love him; San and Wooyoung seemed to click so naturally, and you felt incredibly awkward even at the mere thought of letting the young leader know about your own feelings. On top of that, was it okay to let yourself enjoy such a fleeting happiness when you were ready to sacrifice yourself that easily to destroy not just the Disciples, but the Serendia Shrine as well? Despite your undeniable feelings, you knew that it wouldn’t be fair towards him; you’ve been repeatedly thought about kissing him, and deep inside, you knew he wanted the same.

However, you were still hiding from him the most important detail about your identity, and you were incredibly doubtful that his feelings would have remained the same if he happened to find out. The fact that Hongjoong was keeping a secret as well didn’t particularly matter to you, nor changed the nature of your feelings, because you were absolutely certain that his secret definitely couldn’t be worse than being the daughter of a murderer.

Completely engrossed in your thoughts, you didn’t realise about the fact that your soulmate was approaching you until his warm cloak had been wrapped around your shoulders.

«Are you trying to hibernate?» Hongjoong’s voice surprised you, and you tried to suppress an instinctive whimper due to how nice the sudden sensation of warmth felt.

«I forgot to bring my cloak,» you admitted, aware that Hongjoong was looking at you, «I didn’t think it would get so cold…»

Immediately, Hongjoong, wordlessly reached out to touch first your hands and then your cheeks, before mumbling a quiet, «you’re an idiot.» instead of answering, you simply chuckled, noticing Hongjoong’s exasperated – yet fond, gaze.

«You’re just lucky you never feel cold.» you teased wrapping his cloak a little tighter around yourself, your soulmate’s scent immediately surrounding you.

«A child of Fire subject to outside temperatures?» Hongjoong questioned with a smug smile, «that would be a tragedy, I would be the most shameful among the children of Fire.» he leaned back, his elbow placed on the bench’s backrest, and you rolled your eyes at him while hiding a smile under the fabric of his cloak.

You and Hongjoong sat quietly next to each other, and you would occasionally steal quick glances at your soulmates, admiring the faint lights of the scenery in front of you almost reflecting themselves in his bright crimson eye. It was almost as if blue few shades had added themselves to the red and yellow colours, making his eye look like a destructive and quiet burning flame.

«Wooyoung told me the legend behind the Lake of Tears,» you called out quietly, Hongjoong hummed gently, silently asking you to go on, «if you were in her place, would have you done the same?»

«What has fire to offer beside destruction, ashes and dust?» Hongjoong instinctively scoffed with a sad smile, «I believe I would have burned the village and the villagers out of rage and sorrow, but I could never create something this beautiful with my power,» Hongjoong seemed to be lost in thoughts for a few seconds, but then he quickly added with a bitter tone, «you know, the best I could have done would be frowned on by everyone else. "Oh yeh, Hongjoong, the child of Fire that burned up a village, flames to dust, out of grief".»  

«It’s not true!» you replied immediately, without realizing that you slightly raised your voice, Hongjoong stared at you with a raised eyebrow, his bright eye shining in the dark, «Fire is warm, and while they’re travelling, people light up bonfires only when they feel safe. It’s not just… ashes and dust.» playing with your fingers, you were totally oblivious about the fact that Hongjoong’s bewildered expression had turned into a soft smile, before erupting into soft, gentle laughter.

Although a whirlwind of thoughts were running through Hongjoong’s head, he didn’t voice any of them; instead, he simply reached out, gently ruffling your hair in an affectionate manner. Hongjoong’s smile was more tender than you’d ever seen, and your heart throbbed and yearned as you gazed at each other, but he turned away.

«We should head back, it gets very cold here at night.» Hongjoong stood up from the bench, slowly heading towards the path leading back to the village and you sat there, watching him.

The scenery around you was more beautiful than anything you had ever seen in your whole life and yet, you only had eyes for Hongjoong.

Despite your constant doubts and your constant fears, you felt truly happy with your friends; sometimes, you felt as if you were a family but sadly, your small illusion of happiness had to crumble down on itself in the worst possible way, making you realize that you should have never grown attached to anyone in the first place.

Hongjoong, you, Wooyoung and Yeosang were looking for some particular herbs that would have helped the young alchemists on their researches, when eventually, you didn’t realize about the fact that your small group had gotten too far away from the village’s territory.

Part of the village’s defense mechanism was made up of fog, intended to confuse and disorientate eventual intruders and therefore, as soon as the thick layer of mist dissipated all of a sudden, you realized that you were indeed in danger but before you could react, it was already too late; as if they were waiting for you, several Disciples seemed to materialize out of nowhere,  preventing you and your friends from running away. Not wearing your hood anytime you were with your friends meant that the Disciples instantly recognized you, reason why no one of them hesitated to use magic in order to materialize enchanted ropes in order to tie up each one of you. Sadly, you and your friends stood a little too distant from each other in order to actually come up with an effective plan to face them or even call the others for help. Moreover, as you saw one of the Disciples approach you with a smug and superior smile and his hand tightly wrapping a magic crystal, you started to tremble in fear; your friends didn’t understand why their attention seemed to be almost completely focused on you, until said Disciple decided to speak.

«Make sure she doesn’t escape again,» he urged to the two Disciples which were now standing next to you, forcing you to stand up as well due to the harsh grip they had on your elbows, «your father will be pleased to see you again.» his words were now directed towards you, and you felt your heart sink in your stomach, fear paralyzing you. The loud hammering of your heart was so intense you were almost certain that it was trying to crawl its way through your lung and set itself free through your mouth, judging by your sudden desire to throw up.

«Your father?!» you heard Hongjoong scream in disbelief, «You’re the daughter of that monster?! We trusted you! I trusted you!» if only you were in your right mind, Hongjoong’s words could have cut like knives, and the realization of your biggest fear coming true would have hurt even more; Hongjoong, Wooyoung and Yeosang had found out the truth about your identity in the worst possible way and yet, their bewildered words were reaching deaf ears.

No one of your friends missed your reaction, and beside the sensation of pure betrayal he was feeling in that moment, Hongjoong furrowed his brows at your visible panicked state; not only you had started shaking, but you started crying as well while either mumbling incoherent words or screaming with a screeching voice as you tried to set yourself free. In the vain attempt to escape the Disciple’s grasp, your feet made grooves into the soft ground in the desperate attempt to escape just to run away and hide yourself in a safe place, careless about hurting yourself in the process.

All the determination you had about destroying the Serendia Shrine seemed to vanish in thin air as soon as you saw your father’s shape walking out of the small crowd of Disciples; even just seeing his arrogant and proud way of walk was enough to cancel your every thought in order to replace it with pure feeling of dread.

«Traveling alone with men? I see you didn’t waste your time becoming a whore.» your father’s harsh words pierced you and you shuddered, leaning back and pulling against your restraints in order to escape his approaching figure. «You put an annoying stunt running away, I hope you realize you’re going to pay for it.» despite the fact that you were related by blood, his words were empty; as he always did, he was talking to you as if you were just another one of his experiments.

«Take her,» he simply ordered, and as he saw you trying to resist the Disciples’ hold, he scoffed in disgust at how annoyingly you were behaving, as he roughly yanked your hair back, «maybe this will calm you a little bit.» he spat and before you realized, the blade of an enchanted dagger pierced your abdomen and you immediately felt like coughing blood, before darkness enveloped your senses and you fell forward on the soft grass.

«Don’t touch her!» Hongjoong screamed, as he and the others tried to break free from the Disciples’ hold; the Serendia Shrine’s leader turned his attention towards your soulmate with an impressed whistle.

«Finally, I see a certain Dragon came to be killed once again.» he spat in disrespect, «take him as well.» even if Hongjoong could try to resist, even if Hongjoong wanted to resist, he let the Disciples drag him towards your unconscious frame, too worried about you in order to leave you alone.

«How about the others?» one of the Disciples questioned, nodding towards Yeosang and Wooyoung.

«I don’t care, these two are more than enough.» the leader simply answered, and as the whole group of Disciples walked away towards the Serendia Shrine’s direction while bringing you and Hongjoong with them, Wooyoung and Yeosang had been stunned with a magic crystal, a powerful spell erupting from it which made your friends lose consciousness and fall on the ground.

A pleasant sensation of warmth was spreading from your back, in stark contrast to the coldness of the cage you were in; you decided to open your eyes with a pained whine, wondering why there was warmth spreading from the wound on your abdomen in the first place.

«Hey, sunshine,» Hongjoong’s tired and gentle voice mumbled from behind you, and you slowly took in your surroundings, realizing that you were sitting between his legs, your back pressed against his chest as he was uncomfortably leaning against the cold and humid wall.

Since you have been thrown in what had always been your personal cage, Hongjoong’s hand has been on your wound in a constant healing spell, doing his best to make you feel better; you could feel that the wound was almost closed, and you silently wondered how much magic did he even use in the first place.

Tentatively, you adjusted your position in order to tilt your head towards Hongjoong, which looked both exhausted and beaten up.

«What happened to you?» you asked, your finger hovering above the blood of his split lower lip, and he shrugged, making you realize that he was about to avoid the topic.

«I’m sorry for earlier,» he sincerely admitted, his left hand brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, and you shook your head.

«I wasn’t expecting for forgiveness in the first place,» you answered, «I am really sorry.» you admitted, feeling tears cloud your vision. 

Hongjoong kissed your temple in a silent answer, and after some time, you allowed yourself to fall asleep.

«We have a big problem.» Wooyoung and Yeosang nervously said as they quickly walked into their friends’ provisory headquarters in the rainy village.

«We found out who the leader of the Serendia Shrine is,» Yeosang said, rubbing his eyes in an incredulous manner as his friends questioned him, «he’s little hood’s father.»

«What?» San, Seonghwa and Mingi shrieked in disbelief; Wooyoung nodded, immediately going to sit next to San, which immediately put his arm around his lover, worried about the fact that he looked incredibly pale.

«She’s a traitor, then?» Yunho asked with furrowed eyebrows, as if he couldn’t believe the words he was pronouncing in the first place, «no, I don’t thing she could be-»

«She’s not.» once again, despite feeling hurt, Wooyoung firmly spoke in your defence, «We saw how she reacted when she saw him, and…»  even if he trailed off, the others seemed to understand what he was implying. «I would put my life in her hands: she's not a traitor.» Wooyoung added with unexpected firmness.

«We’re running short on time to save her,» Yeosang finished his friend’s sentence, «both her and Hongjoong, actually.»

«They caught him as well?» Seonghwa asked his eyes wide and full of worry.

Somehow, it was as if Yeosang and Wooyoung’s nod set your friends in action; they were running short on time, meaning that they had to work even harder on their plan, and absolutely no mistakes were allowed.

Despite the disappointment Hongjoong felt once he had found out who you were, the following days after your capture were more than enough for him to understand that even if you and the Leader of the Serendia Shrine were related, the latter didn’t even considered you as a human being.

Both you and Hongjoong had been roughly tortured, forced to constantly use your magic against your will only for the Disciples to transfer your power into a series of magic crystals that they would have used for their own wicked purposes, leaving the both of you to weakly try to heal each other as best as you could once you were thrown once again in the cell.

Moreover, your constant panicked state was more than enough for Hongjoong to forgive the fact that you decided to hide who you were, admitting that after all, he understood why you decided to do it.

«I wasn’t meant to be a prisoner,» your voice trembled as you spoke, barely above a whisper, «I took my mother’s place, when he killed her.» Hongjoong’s arms tightened around you as he wondered what exactly you had to go through, gently rocking your bodies together while constantly repeating that you would have found a way to escape together.

Hongjoong’s heart clenched anytime you instinctively flinched away from his touch, trembling and making yourself as small as you could by bringing your knees to your chest and placing your cheeks between your knees until eventually, your soulmate managed to tranquilize you enough for you to realize that he would have never hurt you, patiently waiting for you to crawl back in his awaiting embrace. 

Hongjoong had patiently listened to your confessions about what happened during the years you spent in the Shrine, glad that you decided to finally open up enough to tell him the whole story without hiding anything anymore.

«How does it feel to be back into business?» Seonghwa questioned San, as he helped him adjust the Serendia Shrine’s Disciple vest that the latter had stolen few weeks earlier.

«With these clothes on? Well, for a start I feel like I want to set myself on fire,» the younger replied, «are we sure this is going to work?»

Yeosang’s plan was theoretically simple, yet extremely complicated to perform; he had meticulously planned with Hongjoong every detail about how they should have proceed all together, but now that the young leader was caught prisoner and they were running short on time, everyone felt distressed.

First of all, San would need to sneak in the Shrine, pretending to be a disciple while using one of Yeosang’s alchemy stones in order to re-create a detailed map of the whole Shrine. Said stone was probably one of the best inventions of the young alchemist, since both San and Yeosang would need to hold two pieces of the same stone at the same time, and no matter how distant they were, a map would be drawn on the paper that Yeosang was neatly keeping on his desk.

Then, San would need to alert both you and Hongjoong about their plan, before stealing some vests for his friends as well; after that, Yeosang would enchant the stolen robes, making them look white instead of black for everyone who was not a Disciple.

At this point, the group would have split in two: Jongho and Wooyoung would have waited towards the northern part of the mountain, while the rest of them would help every prisoner escape, so that you and Hongjoong could walk out freely from the main entrance.

Once the prisoner were rescued, you would have reunited in order to finally fight the Disciples.

«I honestly hope it does.» Seonghwa simply answered his friend, his jaw clenched as they shared a simple nod.

Hongjoong leaned against you, too weak in order to stand up by himself; gently holding his face in your hand, you noticed blood trickle down from his temple and dried tears on his cheeks, and your breath hitched in fear.

Quickly, you helped him sit on the ground and between your legs, mirroring the position the two of you were in when you’ve woken up the first day, only that this time, you were the one healing him.

«I’m really sorry,» you confessed while believing your soulmate was asleep, feeling yourself on the verge of tears as you momentarily buried your face in Hongjoong’s neck, «we shouldn’t have met, this is my fault.»

«Stop saying nonsense,» he quietly groaned with a tired voice. Hongjoong weakly lifted his right hand in mid-air and your fingertips instinctively caressed the top of his hand, until your palm was pressed flat against it and the both of you interlocked your fingers together; Hongjoong brought your intertwined hands to his chest, right above his heart.

«It’s okay, sunshine, we’re soulmates.» he mumbled, and you immediately tensed up.

«How-» the question died in your throat, and Hongjoong chuckled weakly, before coughing up while clutching his ribs; you kept weakly holding him, waiting for him to lean back against your chest so that you could both hug and heal him once again.

«I was a prisoner as well, many years ago,» Hongjoong said, and you realized that the moment you’ve been anticipating had finally arrived, «I knew I had to be one of the sacrificial victims along with another girl, a child of Air - which I presume was you.» you nodded against his neck, and he went on, «However, I was stabbed by your- the Leader, because I refused to cooperate with him and his plans. I don’t know what happened then, I remember being dragged across the floor while feeling life abandoning me, and then it was as if I was in a non-existent reality.» 

Hongjoong sighed, brushing his thumb against yours in a gentle manner, «I woke up, and I found myself in front of a Dragon… I was so scared at first! He was huge, no matter how far I looked, I couldn’t see the end of his tail; his scales were a faint red and his eyes- well, they were just like my right eye but slightly bigger.» he smiled, and you could see the fact that he was glancing at an unspecific point through the thick iron bars, his gaze unfocused. «He told me his name was Garmoth, and said my destiny was not fulfilled, yet. I… I don’t remember everything he said since I was ten years old back then, but… He talked about my soulmate being a child of Air, asking me how could I die before even meeting her.» Hongjoong chuckled briefly, shaking his head as if he was wondering how could he not notice something so obvious.

«“Karanda will never let me hear the end of it, if you die today,” Garmoth said, but of course, I couldn’t know what he meant. I never thought too much about it, I eventually found the others and our desire to destroy the Shrine occupied our thoughts. I started to believe that was my destiny, but now I don’t know anymore.»

«What do you mean?» you asked quietly, afraid to interrupt his train of thoughts.

«Maybe my destiny was simply meeting you and teach you how to effectively tackle someone on the ground without tripping on your own feet,» he joked, and you exhaled a breathless chuckle, annoyed at how could he joke in such a situation. «I came back to life, and since then, my eyes have always looked like that, even though I hide it anytime I’m not around the boys, well, they already explained to you how I gained the nickname of being the Dragon.»  

«Thank you for telling me,» you instinctively smiled against the skin of his neck, and Hongjoong simply nodded at you in a silent answer, «When I visited the Harpies’ Ridge, Karanda told me that I was travelling with my soulmate, who was a child of Fire,» you decided to confess, and Hongjoong curiously tilted his head in order to side glance at you, «needless to say, I didn’t know you were my soulmate, neither what that word was supposed to mean and therefore, I had to ask Yeosang what soulmates were.»  

Hongjoong snorted, finding the scene incredibly amusing, «I guess you know everything about soulmates, now.»

With a sigh, you nodded while holding him closer, finally identifying the young boy that had populated your nightmares for years.

«I saw you, Hongjoong.» you admitted, telling him about the nightmare of the boy being dragged across the floor in front of your cage, «That day, in the Shrine... I saw you die.»

«Soulmates never die.» Hongjoong simply said, and once again, you fell into a comfortable silence.

-

A Disciple unexpectedly entered your cage, and you immediately sat up in order to stand between him and Hongjoong’s sleeping frame; however, as soon as the small door closed behind him, he put a finger against his lips, before walking towards you with quick steps.

Now that he was close, you could identify San’s face partially hidden by the black vest, and your eyebrows furrowed in confusion; San quickly glanced at Hongjoong, before the two of you immediately focused on the noise of steps walking towards your cage.

«Damn it,» San cursed briefly, before turning his attention to you once again, «dodge.» before you could question him, he lifted his fist in the attempt to punch you in the face, action which you dodge as best as you could, happy that San decided to take it easy on you due to your weakened state. San caught the opportunity to pull you against him, making it seem as if he was pressing something against your throat in order to whisper in your ear about the plan their friends came up with.

«In three days from now, you’ll hear a loud noise coming from the northern part of the Shrine; ignore it, wait for the path to be clear and walk south, walk out from the main entrance, then wait for us.» San abruptly let you go, pushing you few steps away from him, «trust us.» he simply said, before walking out of the cage as quickly as he had sneaked in.

Only when you heard him order another Disciple that he already took care of you and Hongjoong, you noticed that you were tightly gripping onto something. Opening your hand, you noticed the small, thin metal needle which would have helped you free yourself from your handcuffs.

Hongjoong woke up few hours later, both his wounds and his health getting worse; as quickly as you could, you explained what happened to him, your voice barely above a whisper since you didn’t want to let yourself be heard from anyone else.

«I don’t know what’s going to happen to us, but we’ll get out of here, sunshine.» Hongjoong softly said and you nodded; you found it almost ridiculous how, despite his state compared to yours, he was still the one consoling you and giving you enough strength to face every day.

The Disciples admitted their intent to slowly kill your soulmate in order to destroy the last shred of sanity that kept your soul together and three days later, Hongjoong was still sitting between your thighs, his back pressed against your chest as he was constantly on the verge of passing out; his breath was way too soft and uneven, and you grew even more tense each passing minute.

The silence was almost deafening as you were waiting for your signal to go, and it was as if your own anxiety was bouncing off the walls of your cold and damp cell; you knew what was going to happen, and you knew your friends would have attacked in any moment.

As a loud thud coming from a part you couldn’t quite identify interrupted the quietness of the morning, you knew that the only thing you only had to do was to trust your friends and wait.

The organization was rather simple, Seonghwa, Yunho, Mingi, San and Yeosang would have helped the prisoners, setting them free and escorting them outside through the passage that Jongho would create through the mountain; Jongho and Wooyoung would have waited outside, ready to attack anyone which was either not a prisoner, nor their friend.

Thankfully, San’s previous job as an assassin required for him to have an excellent memory in order to be able to identify routes and escape routes and therefore, since he managed to draw a detailed map of the Serendia Shrine for his friend, they spent days studying it.

Jongho had summoned his magic, his eyes glowing green as he pushed with all his might against the side of the mountain, parting it just enough to create an escape route out of the Serendia Shrine.

«Are you ok?» Wooyoung asked, concerned about the fact that his friend suddenly seemed extremely tired; Jongho weakly nodded at him, and Wooyoung relaxed, his hand nervously tightening around his bow.

«Everything’s up to them, now.» Jongho said, his eyes lost in the darkness of the passage that lead to the end of the corridor on which sides were the prisoners’ cages; he briefly leaned against a tree, not mentioning to his friend that the spell he had just used had required an extremely big amount of magic.

-

If outside the Shrine neither Jongho nor Wooyoung dared to speak, inside the Shrine the atmosphere was reigned by pure chaos.

«Every Disciple not wearing a white vest is your enemy!» Yeosang shouted, as he and his friends moved quickly, either opening the cages’ locks with magic or by harshly pressing alchemy stones against the locks, «We created a path, follow us!»

«We had a great idea.» Mingi commented as he and his friend briefly made eye contact.

If the prisoners seemed wary of the presence of Disciples showing up with different coloured vests and claiming that they wanted to help, they immediately relaxed as soon as they realized that Seonghwa was using his powers in order to create small hints about which way the prisoners should follow in order to escape.

It was difficult, and it was extremely chaotic; Jongho’s action didn’t go unnoticed and instantly, the Disciples’ attention had been focused on what was happening, meaning that your friends had to fight on the way out.

Even if they were expecting for the Disciples to counter attack, the fact that some prisoners actually stayed behind in order to help was not expected; magic was effectively destroying part of the walls as the prisoners were fighting their way out.

Mingi and Seonghwa purposely stayed behind, but they had to admit that they had probably underestimated the situation; the Disciples could rely on their stack of crystals, while your friends could rely on themselves and on the prisoners that were less wounded.

At some point, a disciple managed to badly hurt Seonghwa’s leg, meaning that he had to rely on Mingi in order to limp out of the Shrine; as soon as few disciples created a spell using various magic crystals in a synchronized way, both Mingi and Seonghwa thought they would have never seen the sunlight again.

The crystals were glowing bright meaning that the spell was about to activate; Seonghwa weakly lifted his hand in front of himself, aware that no matter what, he wouldn’t have been able to neutralize it.

As they thought hope was lost, an incandescent wall of fire materialized in front of them, effectively killing some of the Disciples who were chasing them; Mingi quickly snapped his head back, just to see two girls with the palms of their hands raised enough to face the Disciples.

«Literal life savers, thank you!» Mingi smiled, tightening his hold on his friend, which groaned in pain, and the girls smiled at him, one of them briefly giving him a thumbs up.

«Come on, now, let’s go!» one of the girls said, before they all started proceeding again towards the exit Jongho had created.

«Save the wounded, elder people and children,» Yunho shouted as soon as everyone emerged from the mountain, «whoever feels strong enough to fight, must remain here!» much to your friends’ surprise, beside the most injured people, almost everyone had stayed behind.

Everyone was driven by the desire and desperation to destroy the Serendia Shrine for once and for all and therefore, as Jongho - helped by other children of Earth, summoned his magic to close the opening he had created and preventing any more Disciples to follow, the small clearing right outside the Shrine had turned into a war zone, children of nature facing Disciples which had less crystal than needed and therefore, inevitably about to meet their own death.

Silence was everything you could hear, meaning that your friends’ plan had succeeded; as your heart was racing, you managed to carry an unconscious Hongjoong out of the Shrine with fatigue, thankful to the others for having distracted everyone.

Although you wanted to summon your magic in order to momentarily make your soulmate weightless, you had a very definite plan in mind, a plan which required all the magic you could possibly be able to summon.

As soon as you felt the sensation of fresh air and the sun kissing your face you felt like crying, not believing that you managed to escape once again but most importantly, to save Hongjoong; you managed to put some distance between the two of you and the Serendia Shrine’s entering gates before checking your soulmate’s pulse.

Despite his concerning state, Hongjoong was still alive, and that was everything that mattered to you; with a soft sigh, you leaned in to press a gentle kiss against the corner of his lips, before you eventually stood up, walking in front of your soulmate in order to stand between him and the Shrine.

“I need to do it, before it’s too late.” you thought, and suddenly, an idea popped into your mind.

«Karanda, please, I need your help.» you mumbled with your eyes closed, reaching under the collar of your cotton shirt in order to tightly gripping your necklace; a whirl of wind disheveled your hair almost resembling a loving caress, and you took a deep breath, knowing that somehow, you were doing the right thing.

Closing your eyes, you focused as best as you could while summoning your magic, trying to identify where your friends were.

«Everyone is free! The bad guys are in the Shrine!» you heard Wooyoung happily confirm to his friends as they were running towards where you and Hongjoong were; with a sad smile, you weakly lifted your right hand towards the direction of the woods, immediately creating a transparent wall made of air, in order to prevent your friends to stop what you were about to do.

The blowing wind seemed to make the invisible wall glow, and with a last sigh, you lifted your palms towards the Shrine’s entrance.

The Disciples were not stupid, and neither was your father and therefore they were already hurriedly making their way towards the main entrance, since the one created by Jongho had been completely destroyed.

As soon as you saw the outlines of their shapes climbing on the stairs of the Shrine’s entrance, you focused in order to summon not only all the magic running through your veins, but your energy as well; you put your whole essence in the forbidden spell you have been taught many years ago.

“Elemental magic is unlimited, however, using too much of your magic within a short amount of time would irremediably consume you, as well.” Yeosang had said, and you realized how cruel the truth behind his words was; feeling the life flow out of you was painful, but your desire of revenge was strong enough for you to not stop your ministration, the voices of your friends trying to break the wall you created not reaching your ears.

As you started to close your hands, a loud thud was heard, followed by rocks progressively falling down from the mountain; with a pained scream, your fingers slowly met the palm of your hand, and the mountain crumbled on itself, becoming the tomb of the Disciples and destroying forever every trace of the Serendia Shrine.

With a satisfied smile, you turned to glance at Hongjoong for the last time, but before your eyes could focus on him, you let yourself fall on the cold floor, as darkness enveloped your senses.

-

It didn’t matter how loud your friends were screaming, telling you to stop, or how much strength they were using to try and break your spell; everything they managed to do was to watch the scene without having the possibility to intervene.

They saw you standing protectively in front of Hongjoong as if you were trying to shield him from your own magic, silently agreeing with each other that the quantity of magic you managed to summon was definitely too powerful for a human.

They heard you scream with the effort of unleashing a powerful spell but at some point, they had to cover their ears in pain, because your voice was filled of grief to the point it resembled the screech of a harpy.

For them, the sight was blood curling; you stood powerful, relying on yourself and sacrificing yourself for your ideals. Wooyoung felt his own heart break at the sight, wondering if he could have ever done anything in order to stop you or at least, make you change your mind; he would have never thought you were supposed to go that far, especially because now you had found friends, you had found a family.

This was also the main reason you decided to sacrifice yourself: you didn’t want anything to happen to them.

As your friends were carefully covering their ears, they started seeing a sort of veil of inconsistent and almost blinding light surrounding you, and for a second, it seemed that pure and white feathers erupted from the naked skin of your forearms.

The illusion lasted a blink of an eye, because you immediately fell lifeless on the floor, your hand millimetres apart from Hongjoong’s passed out frame.

-

Inevitably, your death caused the wall that was keeping your friends away from you to dissolve but, before they could approach you, a dozen of loud and angry screeches broke the silence, making them stop in their tracks once again.

A flock of harpies was flying in the sky right on top of your frame, before two of them eventually landed next to you, briefly looking like they were mourning, before eventually hoisting you up and carrying you away while flying high in the sky and towards their Ridge.

“Open your eyes,” you heard Karanda’s gentle whisper, but you still couldn’t understand where you were; you felt like floating, you felt weightless, you felt free.

It was almost as if you were one with the sky, confused about how you could feel like this while not using your powers; moreover, you clearly remembered that you died.

“Open your eyes.” Karanda’s voice repeated and you complied; long, dense and strong branches extended outwardly across a clear and boundless sky, the lights of an eternal dawn illuminating this foreign place.

Where were you?

Karanda was sitting on the branch next to yours, patiently waiting for you to wake up while staring towards the horizon, her gaze unfocused as if she was looking at something you couldn’t see.  

«Am I dead?» you questioned her, ignoring the sting you felt in your throat.

«No.» she simply answered with a smile as she shook her head, her feathers-hair gently moved by the breeze.

«What’s happening now?» you questioned with visible confusion.

«You fulfilled your fate, young one, you’re free to live your life with your soulmate.» Karanda explained, «I believe that once again, we’re all in your debt.» she tilted her head in a hint of a nod.

Were you dreaming?

Karanda was about to bless you with the gift of life once again, just like it happened to Hongjoong, and judging by her words, he had survived.

«Karanda… The first time we met, you said something along the line of Garmoth fooling you again… What did you mean?» you nervously played with your fingers, hoping not to sound too annoying as you were adjusting your position on the branch you were sitting on, wondering what would have happened if you fell on accident.

Karanda smiled, completely aware that now, you knew who Garmoth was.

«I believe in this life, your soulmate goes by the name of Hongjoong.» she said, and you nodded, «as you know, Garmoth is the father of the children of Fire… You and Hongjoong are soulmates, meaning that anytime you happen to be born in human form, you will irremediably find each other. However…» once again, Karanda’s gaze was unfocused as she stared in front of herself, «… I was aware about Hongjoong dying in the Shrine when he was a little kid, but I was not aware about the fact that that tricker of a Dragon sent him back.» you nodded, taking in her words while being unsure on what to say; it didn’t matter what you were thinking about, you felt like you couldn’t come up with a proper answer.

«Go, now,» Karanda said, preventing you from thinking further, «someone is waiting for you.» she announced with a gentle smile, and you felt a question slip past your lips.

«Will I see you again?»

«In many, many years from now, my beloved child.» Karanda answered, her sweet voice making you want to stay with her even further.

However, everything it took was to blink; if you closed your eyes next to Karanda while being alone in what seemed like an otherworld, in the moment you opened your eyes you were laying in front of her throne at the Harpies’ Ridge.

-

With a weak groan, you sat up clutching your head, startled by the quantity of harpies staring at you; quickly looking around yourself, you realized that, the Queen was looking at you with a gentle smile.

«Finally!» the harpy which you had saved months earlier was sitting next to you, waiting for you to wake up as she was patiently brushing your hair with what definitely looked like a brush made of bones.

«Good morning?» you tried, looking around, remembering about Karanda’s words about someone waiting for you.

«Men can’t meet the Queen, silly head» your friend reminded you, almost as if she managed to read your thoughts.

«It's been two weeks.» she replied, helping you standing up with careful gestures.

«Two weeks?!» you shrieked in disbelief, hearing an amused scoff coming from Karanda.

«Shh! Don’t let the Queen hear you,» the harpy immediately silenced you, «she can still send you back, be thankful it took so little time.» she murmured while the two of you started walking towards the edge of the Harpies’ Ridge territory. You’ve already walked this path once, and it definitely didn’t seem to take so long; you faintly gripped the necklace Karanda had gifted you, aware about the fact that you were incredibly eager about meeting your soulmate and your friends once again.

«What if they’re angry?» you asked your friend, stopping in your tracks. «Of course they’re angry!» she answered immediately, «We are incredibly distressed as well! Your friends spent all the time at the edge of our territory; we were going insane!»

The two of you stared at each other in the eyes for few seconds, the realization that your friend had probably to prevent her own sisters from attacking your friends slowly settling in your soul; she shook her head at you as you apologized, mumbling that «we’re even, now.» and before you realized, you were in front of your friends.

-

The first thing you heard was your name being called; not “little hood”, not “sunshine”, not another nickname.

The first thing you saw was Hongjoong quickly walking his way towards you, ignoring the small group of harpies screeching at him in warning not to trespass their territory.

The first thing you felt were a pair of warm hands tilting your head slightly to the left, before Hongjoong connected your lips in your first kiss.

Instinctively, you recalled Lea’s words when she said that kissing someone you loved was the best feeling in the world, realizing that she was right; honestly, nothing could have ever properly prepared you to the feeling of kissing your soulmate.

Hongjoong’s kiss made you feel complete, made you feel safe, made you feel home; at some point, you were sure that few droplets of tears of happiness had started to flow from your eyes.

«I thought I lost you.» he murmured, placing his forehead against yours.

«Soulmates never die.» you said, quoting what he told you weeks earlier, wiping the last traces of dried tears from his cheeks. «Move the fuck out the way,» Wooyoung harshly said with a trembling voice, as he was gently pushing against Hongjoong’s shoulder, «let me hug the personification of catastrophe I have the disgrace to love and cherish.» Wooyoung hugged you close, murmuring a quiet, «If you do something like this again, I’ll make sure to bring you back to life just to kill you myself.» and you hugged him just as tight with a smile on your lips.

«I missed you too,» you said, and Wooyoung partially detached from you in an abrupt way in order to retort sarcastically, before the words died in his throat.

«Oh, good grief,» Wooyoung mumbled in awe instead, «your left eye! You really look like Hongjoong’s girlfriend, now.»

«What about my eye?» you furrowed your eyebrows, touching your left cheekbones with a confused expression.

«It’s grey.» he announced, and with the excuse that everyone else wanted to see your mismatched eyes as well, you ended up being hugged tight by everyone of your friends, everyone of them happy about the fact that you were back.

-

Sitting once again in front of Hongjoong on his horse, your gaze was unfocused, as you absently participated to your friends’ lively conversation as you were headed to the small port village where all of them seemed to have bought a house.

«Why do you look so gloomy?» Hongjoong questioned, and you shook your head.

«My life has been focused on my will to destroy the Serendia Shrine, I don’t know what I am supposed to do now.» you admitted with a weak shrug.

«You could always focus on the future, then.» Hongjoong’s gentle voice replied few seconds later, and you instinctively sighed.

«What’s there to focus on? I had resigned myself not to have a future at all.»

«You could imagine a future together with me.» Hongjoong hesitantly said, and you smiled.

“As if I would say no,” you thought, intertwining your fingers with his right above your lap in a silent answer.

“You’re free to live your life with your soulmate.” Karanda had said, and suddenly, as if it was a magic trick, the disordered pieces in your soul seemed to find their own place in a matter of seconds; you were with your friends, but most of all, you were with Hongjoong. Everything would have been okay, in the end.

Few weeks later, you slowly started to grow accustomed to your new life; for a start, you and Hongjoong were now living together in his house – giving San and Wooyoung further reasons to tease you. The fact that all of your friends fell in love with the same village to the point where they all decided to buy a house in it was both amusing and heart-warming; no matter what, now that your friends were temporarily off duty, you always had the certainty of knowing where to find them if you needed anything.

Hongjoong was aware about the fact that you had never had intimate contact with anyone, reason why he always made sure to follow your lead, keeping your kisses as innocent as possible, even if sometimes the intense feelings amplified thanks to your bond were too hard to ignore.   Needless to say, you literally didn’t know what to do with yourself; you were glad for how caring and sweet Hongjoong was, but sometimes, you felt yourself wanting to give and yearning for more, even though you didn’t know what you exactly wanted in the first place.

As the dim moonlight illuminated your shared bedroom, Hongjoong tilted your face towards him, and even in the darkness, his tender gaze seemed to sparkle. He traced his thumb lightly along your lower lip, and you gently reached out, moving his hand away from your face just enough to close the distance between the two of you in a tender kiss. Hongjoong’s lips were soft and warm as they moved gently against yours; they were delicate, sweet kisses, and it felt almost as if he was taking his time, learning how you tasted, how you felt, and the way you responded to what he did.

Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you kissed him harder, no longer too overwhelmed to appreciate how good Hongjoong’s lips felt, and you heard him make a soft, pleased noise in response. Eventually, somewhere between your soft and passionate kisses, you found yourselves laying on his soft mattress, his body moving with slow and gentle movements as the two of you made love for the first of countless times. You never felt anything like this, you felt like melting, as if he was consuming you whole while setting your soul alight, and you found yourself wanting more and more, even if you didn’t know what it could have meant.

Hongjoong smiled against your lips and you smiled as well, suppressing a whimper since it was as if he could hear your thoughts; his kisses deepened further, until it was hard to think, to do anything but feel. Hongjoong was holding you tightly against him, and you were so dizzy with need that you weren’t sure you’d be still able to stand without his embrace.

«Is it okay if I do this?» Hongjoong’s strained voice asked as he gently lift your thigh a little higher, just for it to circle his hips; the new angle made everything feel even more intense and you nodded, enjoying your soulmate’s soft moans of pleasure.

«I don’t,» you whimpered suddenly, your hands timidly circling Hongjoong’s waist; your soulmate immediately stopped his movements, glancing at you with a concerned expression, fearful of having hurt you, «I don’t know what to do.» you shyly confessed, and Hongjoong’s smile was the more tender you’ve ever seen.

«I’ll tell you a secret,» he sighed, leaning closer to your ear, «I love you so much, I don’t even know what to do with myself.»

The unexpected confession made you relax, and then you understood; despite the fact that Hongjoong was more experienced than you were, it was your first time together, as a couple, as soulmates. It wasn’t meant to be perfect, you weren’t expected to know exactly what you were doing, since you’ve never did anything like this in the first place; it was meant to be messy, it was meant to be passionate, it was meant for you to learn how each other felt. It was meant for the two of you to understand the fact that no matter what, nothing would have made you feel like when you were in each other’s company.

Moreover, Hongjoong found adorable the fact that you were puzzled about the most trivial things as where to place your hands or where to touch, and he found even more adorable the fact that you tried to hide the fact that you were feeling pleasure by covering your lips with your hands.

«I believe these,» Hongjoong said, gently wrapping his warm hands around your wrists in order to place them next to your head on the mattress, preventing you from moving them again, «belong here, and you should let me hear your voice a little more.» he added at last, whimpering the last part against your ear, and you complied, giving yourself completely to your soulmate.

-

«Hongjoong! Little hood!» you heard Wooyoung’s voice call from your porch – which was right under your shared bedroom; you and Hongjoong were still laying naked under the covers, cuddling in your post orgasm bliss.

«Come on, we’re going to be late for the village’s festival!» Seonghwa added, and you felt Hongjoong’s arms tighten around your frame, as if to silently ask for few more minutes.

«Wait, Wooyoung, the lights are off…» you heard San’s voice as well.

«… Oh, good grief,» your bestfriend’s voice commented, as if he was surprised about something obvious he didn’t notice, «Oi, you two! I’m not ready to become an uncle, yet!»

Wooyoung’s sentence made the two of you giggle, before eventually, Hongjoong rolled the two of you around just enough so that he could drape the blanket completely over your frames, in order to steal another kiss from your lips.

EPILOGUE

Magic was pretty common in the world; actually, some must even say it has somehow became an essential resource in the everyday life. However, after five years since the day you met your soulmate and your friend, the world seemed to have completely changed.

For a start, the news of Serendia Shrine being destroyed immediately spreaded like wildfire; the survivors immediately ran back to their families, whom welcomed them with tears in their eyes and their heart overflowing with happiness and relief. Children of Nature no longer needed to hide their powers and therefore, mentor figures started teaching younger people how to use magic without either being scared of it, or wasting too much energy; slowly, children of Nature became a fundamental resource in everyday life.

Nevertheless, although many former prisoners knew exactly who saved them, neither you nor your friends have decided to take the merit of what happened and therefore - formally, a group of reckless and brave heroes saved the lives of countless people, finally putting an end to years and years of suffering and unspeakable tortures.

Regarding you and your friends, the whole group had claimed that - over the years, they had managed to earn enough money in order to finally take a vacation from their job as mercenaries and so, you were all living in the same village.

Mingi, Wooyoung and San became combat teachers, organizing small classes in order to teach young warriors and curious how to master different fighting styles.

Yeosang, Mingi and Yunho opened their own alchemy school accessible to anyone interested in the subject; it was small and humble, but their love for alchemy made it seem as if it were one of the most prestigious alchemy schools that could even compete with those of the capital.

Seonghwa, Hongjoong, you and Jongho became mentors, teaching little kids and young adults how to master their own magic without unconsciously hurting people around them.  

As for you and Hongjoong – much like San and Wooyoung, you were now living together and happily married. Hongjoong had proposed in the most natural and random way on a windy and dull evening, as you and your friends were once again spending the night at the village’s tavern, playing a new game of card that Mingi and San had recently learned.

«You know what would be a great way to end the evening?» Hongjoong had whispered against your ear, and you curiously glanced at him, silently urging him to go on; Hongjoong gave you a smug yet tender smile, before saying «Let’s get married.» and that’s how you, Hongjoong and your friends had ran to the nearest chapel, getting married in a sudden and intimate ceremony.

«Hongjoong,» you groaned, massaging your stomach in the vain hope to make the pain disappear, «I feel strange.» you whined as you turned your position in bed, lying on your side in order to alleviate the imminent instinct to throw up. If you were to be honest, you’ve been feeling terrible for at least the last week, and it wasn’t rare for you to feel the instinct to throw up on random occasion; however, Hongjoong – being the gentleman he is, always kept your hair tied up in a makeshift ponytail and immediately comforted you anytime it happened.

«I think you should see a doctor,» Hongjoong affectionately mumbled while moving a strand of hair behind your ear, «I can ask Seonghwa to take my place for the day.» Instinctively, you nuzzled your cheek against Hongjoong’s warm hand, before shaking your head, your gaze locking with your husband’s worried mismatched eyes.

«It’s okay, I’ll ask Wooyoung to come with me.» although the worry remained evident on Hongjoong’s delicate features, he settled for not forcing the topic and nodded, kissing your forehead before getting ready for work.  

Wooyoung, however, spent the day with a suspicious smug smile plastered on his face; for a start, the doctor at your village was nowhere to be seen and therefore, you and your bestfriend took a carriage in order to go to the nearest one.

«Why are you smiling like that?» you scoffed as Wooyoung gently helped you climb down the carriage.

«I wonder how oblivious you can be, mommy.» Wooyoung giggled with a wide grin; his words indeed puzzled you because you had never considered the fact that you could have been pregnant but before you could ask your bestfriend for further clarifications, a lively and familiar voice caught your attention.

«Are my eyes deceiving me? Little hood, is that you?» your eyes widened and your head immediately turned on your left just to see Lea with her arm interlocked with a young man, as they stood few steps away from the two of you; needless to say, you wasted no time walking towards her and she immediately hugged you as close as she could, saying how happy she was to see that you were alive and well.  

«Of course she is okay,» Wooyoung said, «she married Hongjoong.» he suggestively told Lea, which immediately brought her hands in front of her mouth in order to hide the wide smile that immediately erupted on her lips.

«No way!» she exclaimed with an excited and joyful shriek. Of course, Lea was curious, and of course, you ended up telling her almost everything about how your relationship with Hongjoong had bloomed; however, Lea never questioned your mismatched eyes, because she already knew. Lea was more than eager to inform you that the young and handsome man standing next to her was in fact her husband, which had unexpectedly turned out to be one of the Serendia Shrine’s survivors. The man – Changbin, had told Lea about the small group that saved them, and she immediately recognized them as Hongjoong and his friends and therefore, she didn’t need to ask you anything; although her curiosity wanted her to ask you, she was happy with knowing that you were safe and happy.

After all, now that the Serendia Shrine had been destroyed, you had all the time in the world to meet each other and spend some time together and to share important secrets. Needless to say, from the moment Changbin came back, Lea stopped working at the brothel altogether, and now they were living their life and enjoying their marriage as happily as they were doing before the Disciples captured Changbin.

After your encounter with Lea and Changbin, your day basically passed by in a blur; the doctor ended up confirming what Wooyoung was teasing you about, and you spent the travel back towards your village in complete silence.

«Oi, little hood,» Wooyoung mumbled, wrapping a hand around your shoulders and you momentarily smiled at the mention of the familiar nickname, «why are you so sad about it?»

«What if Hongjoong won’t be happy about it?» you wondered, even though you were absolutely aware about the fact that there wasn’t a single possibility about your soulmate being unhappy about something like this; to confirm your thoughts, Wooyoung scoffed.

«He’s going to be ecstatic, about it,» your bestfriend said, «moreover, the two of you have been teaching kids for years now… It’s time to get your own.» Wooyoung playfully winked, and you managed to let out a breathless chuckle at his words.

Hongjoong knew you were hiding something from him: for a start, you absolutely were not capable to hide your own emotions and therefore, your husband could constantly read you as if you were an open book.

«Come on,» Hongjoong said, fearing for the worst and consequently deciding to confront you right after dinner as he caged you between his warm body and the sink, «what did the doctor say?»

As you placed the dishes back in the warm water in the sink, you took your time to dry your hands with a towel before eventually mumble that you were going to be parents; however, your voice was almost inaudible, causing Hongjoong to gently turn you around so that you were facing each other.

«We’re going to be parents.» you announced, not bringing yourself to look at him in the eyes; Hongjoong remained silent, and each passing second made you tense even more.

«What?» Hongjoong’s voice caused your gaze to drift towards his, and you immediately realized how stupid you had been to be worried about his reaction in the first place; Hongjoong was looking at you with his mismatched eyes as wide as the moon and a wide and incredulous smile plastered on his lips.

«Really?» Hongjoong repeated; his happiness was written all over his features, and instinctively you smiled, nodding in confirmation, «What’s the problem, sunshine?» Hongjoong questioned, your nervous expression didn’t go unnoticed, as he delicately took your head in his hands.

«Of course I’m happy about it,» you immediately told him, «but I don’t know how I’m supposed to be a mom… What if I’m not good at it?» you admitted, your worried gaze burning in Hongjoong’s enamoured one, which immediately softened.  

«I don’t know how I’m supposed to be a dad, either.» Hongjoong admitted as well, rubbing your nose against his, «I’m sure you will be great, sunshine, we’re gonna make it.» eventually, you loosely wrapped your arms around Hongjoong’s waist, as the cloud of doubts were gradually dissipating from your head.

«We’ll be okay.» you eventually said, and Hongjoong immediately leaned in to place a gentle and brief kiss on your lips.

«Of course we’ll be okay, sunshine,» your soulmate smiled as mismatched enamoured eyes met yours, «do you believe in fate?»

That’s how your future with Hongjoong had started, aware that no matter what, life after life, you would have met and fell in love, again, and again, and again.

all works © lettersfromaphrodite

Do not modify, repost, translate or plagiarize my stories. I only publish my works on tumblr & AO3.

↳ BACK TO NAVIGATION 💫 ↳ BACK TO MASTERLIST 🔮

when you have so many books to read that you don't know where to start

Jan 2024 Reading List 📚🎧☕

Done:

Very Cold People by Sarah Manguso

The Culture Map by Erin Meyer

Current:

The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov

Beartown by Fredrik Backman

To-read:

48 Laws of Power by Robert Green (Everyone keeps mentioning this one to me so might give it ago)

The Great Alone by Hannah Kristin

Age of Vice by Deepti Kapoor

Feel free to recommend me some books please!

March 2024 Reading List 📚🎧☕

Done:

All the light we cannot see by Anthony Doerr (Decided to re-read this before giving the mini-series a go. A brilliant but sad book imo.)

Current:

The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov (I gave up on the original version and switched to the English translation, Russian literature: 1, Me: 0)

To-read:

48 Laws of Power by Robert Green (I still haven't gotten around to finding the time to read this)

Beartown by Fredrik Backman ( I decided to restart reading it, as I was quite busy at the time and lost the hang of the plot)

女人就是要有钱/ Women just want money by 刘忆如 - Liú Yìrú (My first proper book in Chinese! This book appears to be a self-help/financial advice book and judging by the plot description it's definitely worth reading - I have an online copy for those interested btw! The target audience seems to be for those in their 30s so I guess I'm getting an early head start)

Classes have started so I'm taking this month easy whilst I try to ease back into my usual routine. But do feel free to recommend me some books for April please!

July 2024 Reading List 📚🎧☕

Done:

Beartown by Fredrik Backman (Finally found the time to start and finish, not really what I was expecting when it was first recommended but a solid read overall).

Geisha: A Life by Mineko Iwasaki. (An interesting read, although I found the structure and content a little all over the place is some areas.)

Current:

Faust by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (opted for the english translation because the orginal may cause me to give up on german)

The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene (Maybe this is the month when I finally finish this book. I fear this may turn into the Master and Margarita situation, except there's no cat this time)

To-read:

The Twins by Saskia Sarginson (re-reading this again, this is a solid summer read)

Confucianism: The 4 Books and 5 classics (This one may take a while, almost 3000 pages)

As usual, feel free to drop some recommendations please!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32449123/chapters/85814212#workskin

“Sir?” Harry asked curiously. “D-did I do somethin’?”

For some reason Snape’s lips twitched in to what Harry has decided is his version of a smile.

“I am sure you have,” he said lightly. “But since I have not caught you yet we will instead discuss your summer plans.”

Winter Reading Reviews '16

Winter '16 Reading Reviews #bookreviews #amreading

A couple weeks late, but it gave me a chance to finally finish Tigana, which has been haunting me since the fall.  This review has minor spoilers for Tigana by Guy Gavriel Kay, The Steel Remains by Richard Morgan, Before the Awakening by Greg Rucka, The Force Awakens by Alan Dean Foster, Games Wizards Play (Young Wizards series) by Diane Duane. (more…)

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R F Kuang asking the right questions here 💆🏾‍♀️ here's some good recs from the replies that I added to my own tbr:

The buried giant, kazuo ishiguro (subversive arthurian tale with dreamlike prose. everyone's memory is in flux so details shift and waver. intergenerational trauma and historiography but has a melancholical and anchored character story).

Lancelot (the arthurian tales series), giles kristian

The mabinogian tetralogy, evangeline walton (retelling of welsh mythology. weird, eerie, beautiful and just gorgeously written)

The traitor son cycle, miles cameron

The dragon and the unicorn, aa attanasio (very weird arthurian prose. merlin is an astral shark demon made of electricity. creepy, dark, and dramatic).

Sistersong, lucy holland

Book of the new sun, gene wolfe (like walking through a black Magic the Gathering Card, or if Pere La Chaise stretched endlessly, in every direction, throught time).

The dragon waiting, john m. ford

The wolf and the woodsman, ava reid

City of saints and madmen (ambergris series), jeff vandermeer (like slowly unearthing a strange and unfathomable artifact that you gradually piece together into an incomplete picture).

Silver in the wood (the greenhollow duology), emily tesh (chaotic, lush and haunting and canonically promises the m/m energy that feels promised but not guaranteed by the green knight trailer)