Passing - Tumblr Posts
Ok but like. I know that everyone love making jokes about how "the first step for passing as a trans person is being skinny and white", but in reality... Both of these can actually kinda be disadvantages when it comes to that?
Like, skinny white male and female bodies are the bodies that society knows how to categorize best. They're the ones that the collective gaze is focused on. They're the ones we're shown in anatomy textbooks. So if you generally don't fit the criteria for a body that people know how to categorize in other ways, people will be more likely to assume your gender based on how you dress, talk, move, etc.
Like, I don't mean it as a "being skinny and white makes life harder for you actually" kinda thing. Objectively speaking, it clearly does the opposite. But I also think that, again, objectively speaking, trying to claim this is how that power dynamic behaves in this specific context, just ignores other factors at play.
For here too.
Credit: @pet_foolery
i’m sure i’m not the first to say something like this, but let me tell you about my poc-passing-as-white jay gatsby headcanon!!
for some background, in the 1920s there was an interesting shift regarding (white) skin tones. previously, tans were viewed as a sign that a person worked out in the fields, and therefore a trademark of the lower class. however, slowly after the industrial revolution, it increasingly became a representation of luxury, since the rich upper class would have the time to lounge about and sunbathe at their leisure.
i say all this to show that a poc gatsby would have the ostensible class and wealth for a tan, which would ‘excuse’ a slightly browner skin tone in the public eye.
(the 20s was also the setting of passing by nella larsen, so that’s neat.)
in my vision, he’s biracial (maybe his mother was black & his father was a german immigrant) with skin light enough to pass for white.
the fact that nick states that gatsby keeps his hair neatly groomed and cut might be to prevent it from curling up.
additionally, i think it could contrast tom’s white supremacy & his fear of poc social progress.
it would also create a deeper divide between gatsby and daisy, and once again the contrast between him and tom. in my mind, daisy wouldn’t know about it until the point where tom reveals everything about gatsby’s bootlegging etc. with jay revealing it to her in the car ride back (oops then she hits myrtle).
then, when she chooses tom and the life of comfort, wealth, status, etc that their marriage offers, she also rejects not only gatsby’s new money but also his race.
it’s a lot more thematically significant for the american dream as well—it’s still unattainable and essentially tainted by capitalism, and it also emphasizes that it’s restricted to the white upper class. social mobility only becomes available to gatsby when he disguises his racial identity.
similarly, it fits with gatsby’s identity reconstruction—the quintessential american is white, rich, and educated.
daisy and tom have that ticket into society because they have that inherent thing that he will never have—pedigree, in both class and race. that’s something that even nick has.
(in my mind, he tells nick all about it the night before he dies & nick understands as best he can and doesn’t think less of him, because it further highlights the differences between his & gatsby’s relationship v. gatsby’s relationship with daisy; namely, the transparency -> acceptance give-and-take that he and daisy never had. because of having to hide himself from daisy in order to maintain her affection, he builds an expectation that he must be someone that he is not as well as developing a transactional definition of love (he gives, and people love him as long as he can continue to give) in order to be loved. therefore, nick’s immediate curiosity and fascination with who he truly is is foreign to him. not to get too into their dynamic lmao i just think it’s really interesting.)
finally, the very last part where nick is sitting and looking at the bay and thinking about the first immigrants and their dreams and how gatsby embodied the purity and naivety of those dreams is further exemplified by his racial ‘otherness.’
and there’s,,, technically nothing in the book to explicitly refute this from what i remember!
(n.b.: it has been a hot second since i’ve read tgg, so lmk if i’ve got anything wrong!)
To Angel, My Sweetheart - "In Parting"
The kiss my dear: thy lips has left Shall never part from mine, Till happier hours restore the gift Untainted back to thine. Thy parting glance, which fondly beams, An equal love may see: The tear from thine eyelid streams Can weep no change in me. I ask no pledge to make me heist In gazing when alone; Nor one memorial for a breast Where thoughts are all thine own: Nor need to write - to tell the tale My pen were doubly weak: Oh! What can idle words avail Unless the heart could speak? By day or night; in weal or woe That heart no longer free, Must bear the love it cannot show And silent ache for thee.
being pre-t sucks bc no matter how much I work out, I still have the same amount of muscles as a twelve year old who does 20 push ups a day (apart from my back. Thank my family for a broad back and broad shoulders)
you know, as a transguy I mostly dress like a grandpa. Makes me feel good and less dysphoric. Now, one thing I absolutely refuse to do, no matter what, is it buy men's deodorant. Like, wtf is wrong with the people coming up with that? That shit burns in my nose while I'm praying that I won't get a headache. To be fair, flowery smells do the same thing. Fruity scents are the way to go. Seriously. Give me something that smells like apple or pomegranate. That's fantastic
The idea that all trans men “eventually” “reach a point” where they gain some sort of male privilege is entirely based on the idea that all trans men have the same goals in transition, the same ability and desire to access medical transition, and generally are all striving to and capable of “passing” as what society thinks cis men look like.
A trans man who has no desire to look like a cis man, who can’t medically transition for medical or financial or political or social reasons, who wants to or has to look like what society thinks a cis woman looks like, who doesn’t want to look like what society thinks a cis man or a cis woman looks like, who is intersex and embraces their intersex body, or who otherwise doesn’t want to or is incapable of “passing” does not gain access to male privilege at any point on any level. And there’s more of us than you’d think. We’re not outliers, we’re a large and important part of the trans community who are consistently dismissed and belittled over this mythical idea that all trans men want to, can, and will one day “pass” as cis men and achieve some sort of male privilege.
“Looking like cis men” is not the end goal of all trans men nor is it attainable for all trans men, and to pretend that it is does a massive disservice to some of the most marginalised members of our community.
The idea that all trans men “eventually” “reach a point” where they gain some sort of male privilege is entirely based on the idea that all trans men have the same goals in transition, the same ability and desire to access medical transition, and generally are all striving to and capable of “passing” as what society thinks cis men look like.
A trans man who has no desire to look like a cis man, who can’t medically transition for medical or financial or political or social reasons, who wants to or has to look like what society thinks a cis woman looks like, who doesn’t want to look like what society thinks a cis man or a cis woman looks like, who is intersex and embraces their intersex body, or who otherwise doesn’t want to or is incapable of “passing” does not gain access to male privilege at any point on any level. And there’s more of us than you’d think. We’re not outliers, we’re a large and important part of the trans community who are consistently dismissed and belittled over this mythical idea that all trans men want to, can, and will one day “pass” as cis men and achieve some sort of male privilege.
“Looking like cis men” is not the end goal of all trans men nor is it attainable for all trans men, and to pretend that it is does a massive disservice to some of the most marginalised members of our community.
The idea that all trans men “eventually” “reach a point” where they gain some sort of male privilege is entirely based on the idea that all trans men have the same goals in transition, the same ability and desire to access medical transition, and generally are all striving to and capable of “passing” as what society thinks cis men look like.
A trans man who has no desire to look like a cis man, who can’t medically transition for medical or financial or political or social reasons, who wants to or has to look like what society thinks a cis woman looks like, who doesn’t want to look like what society thinks a cis man or a cis woman looks like, who is intersex and embraces their intersex body, or who otherwise doesn’t want to or is incapable of “passing” does not gain access to male privilege at any point on any level. And there’s more of us than you’d think. We’re not outliers, we’re a large and important part of the trans community who are consistently dismissed and belittled over this mythical idea that all trans men want to, can, and will one day “pass” as cis men and achieve some sort of male privilege.
“Looking like cis men” is not the end goal of all trans men nor is it attainable for all trans men, and to pretend that it is does a massive disservice to some of the most marginalised members of our community.
The Passing Of My Darling B
It was the call I was expecting, yet didn’t want. The hospital told me of the situation and to be quick.
When I stepped into the room I could not hold back my tears, I wept uncontrollably.
Within 24 hours her health had declined, no longer was she of colour and freshness – to which, for years, I’d become accustomed.
Instead she lay there pale and silent.
The ticking of the clock telling me time was fragile.
I wanted the nurse to tell her. ‘That I love her and will never forget her. Please, tell her that I came.’
But I couldn’t.
‘I will give you some time,’ said the nurse leaving.
I stood by her bed and leant over, stroking her hair and kissing her forehead – her perfume resonating about my senses. I spread my arms and gave her a gentle hug as her breath grew weaker.
I sat and held her hand.
‘I love you, B.’
Her eyelids seemed to move as if she recognised my voice.
‘Yes, it’s me. I came yesterday but they would not let me see you. But today, yes, they called – and now I’m here.’
Maybe I imagined it, that her hand squeezed mine. I took it to my lips and kissed it. Yet I felt the strength leave. Her hand suddenly becoming limp.
‘Don’t leave me,’ I cried. ‘I have so much love to give you, you can’t go. Yesterday I prayed – I prayed to God and all his angels. I know I’m not a christian, but It was worth a try. Anything is worth a try.’
I don’t know how long I sat there, but I stayed until her beautiful heart gave up.
Until her breath stilled.
I sat outside on a bench – a bench already stained by so many tears.
And cried.
Overwhelmed by grief, I sat unable to move.
However much I thought and considered my future without My Darling B, the insurmounatable pain only grew.
Loss, the loss of hope, the emptiness of life, a home now silent.
Then I felt a breeze about my body consume me, I looked up at the leaves in the trees that rustled. There had been no sign of a breeze before just stagnant air.
Then, I realised that nature grieves. It had followed me, carried me - it knew my pain – and for that
It gave me a hug, a warm comforting hug, helping to dry my tears – tears that would not stop,
However much I tried.
Oh, I don’t expect you to understand. You’re happy. You have a true, good life, and you’re free. Free and safe. Safe… I don’t even know what that is anymore.
Ruth Negga as Clare Bellew Passing (2021, Rebecca Hall)
Just can't keep up...
All these years later and It still feels as though I'm running on a treadmill, everyone else below running on the earth. I can't keep up, going know where, working ten times harder. Stuck, watching everyone pass me by.
- Sequoia Red (via Sequoia Red)