No Im Not Fucking Okay - Tumblr Posts
2 minus 1 | hansol chwe |
*not proofread
Tags: angst?
genderneutral!reader
As much as Vernon loved being on tour, he loved coming home to see you even more, at least he used to see you. He doesn't exactly know what the breaking point for you was. Was it responding to your I love you texts hours after you sent them because of time zones? Or maybe it was the distance in general. Was it because he constantly fell asleep during your phone calls because he was exhausted from performing?
The only thing he knew was that it was hard not seeing you waiting in their dorms for them to get back, usually already having take-out ordered for them. The boys could even feel it when there wasn't someone to yell, "Welcome back," when they opened the door. The boys settled for having ramen as Vernon made his way to his room, staring at your most recent post on Instagram.
You got a cat he thought to himself. You had always talked about getting one, and it seemed like this was the push you needed. The smile on your face could have fooled anyone, but Vernon wasn't just anyone. He could see the sadness in your eyes and how they were rimmed red.
Finally lying in bed, Vernon could smell your perfume that seemed to be engraved in his pillows. How could something that smelled so pretty give him such bad memories. It was suffocating.
A knock on his door brought Vernon back to reality. Seungkwan peeked his head in. "The ramen's done. Do you want any?" He asked. "Not tonight, thanks," Vernon responded. Seungkwan knew what was wrong, everyone did. You and Vernon seemed like such a great pair, they were sure you were going to get married one day and have a happily ever after. Oh, how wrong they were.
He wanted to talk to you. Wanted to try to work everything out. Make promises he knew he couldn't keep. Instead, he settled on sending a short message, which he hoped got his point across.
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It was late at night when your phone buzzed, something it didn't often do anymore. You stared at the notification on your home screen, too scared to accidently touch it. I'm lonely, it read. You didn't even have to look at who sent it, there was only one person who would.
Maybe it was the couple glasses of wine you knocked back, or maybe it being one in the morning had some effect on you, but you felt your fingers moving across the screen. The strength you had been building up for weeks seemed to crumple at the sight of the two measly words.
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Vernon was ready to stare at his phone for hours before he got a reply, if he did at all, so to see your contact pop up within a couple minutes was a surprise. He jumped out of bed, threw on his jacket, and was out of the door with a quick, "I'll be back later," to the guys.
On his home screen the simple me too haunted him as he grabbed a cab to your apartment. He was scared that if he looked away, it would disappear. This was his last chance, and he would be damned if he let it slip through his fingers.