Look At Me - Tumblr Posts

"look at me." [l.f.]

Chapter 2/???

synopsis: you'd never believed in something from those horror movies actually happening in real life: a cute boy walks into a coffee shop, flirts playfully with the pretty barista until she writes her number on the heat sleeve of his cup and they hook up - then he kills anyone who looks in her direction and holds her captive for the rest of her life, forcing her into marriage and having a family all while hiding the truth from the world outside of their front door. because.. things like that didn't happen in real life; until that gorgeous blond boy walked into the front door of your coffee shop.

genre: romance, horror (yandere themes)

pairing: yandere!lee felix x fem!reader

word count: 2.2k

WARNINGS: character death (changbin), horror content, cutting of skin, mentions of torture and death, literal death scenes DO NOT READ IF you can not stomach it.

notes: meeting changbin + changbin meeting his end

A quick reminder - this fic is FICTIONAL and in no way is supposed to represent any of the Stray Kids members whatsoever. It's just for fun, and never anything I would think would actually happen. Images depicted in this fic are just that - completely fictional!

It started with an Instagram post Felix had never seen before.

Only because you had just uploaded it. Thirty-two seconds ago, and Changbin was at his side, their arms pressed together and Felix's eyes dragging to the screen of his friend's phone curiously. It was tipped to show him the photo he'd scrolled and found.

Felix wasn't aware Changbin knew you. Or knew of you.

How long had he known you? Were the two of you longtime friends? No - That's quickly ruled out as Felix figures he would've found out a long time ago if one of his closest friends was in your friend group. Changbin surely would've bragged sooner about being friends with a girl that pretty if he was sitting here looking at photos of you. Ogling you, one might say.

He inhales, the breath slow and deep in his lungs, filling every crevice of the organs before he shifts to tip his head in closer. He can do nothing about the way his eyes widen, whites further revealed and pupils blowing so large that they almost completely overtake the deep chocolate that surrounds them. That is one thing he can't control. Not yet. He'll figure out how to hide the way he looks at you soon enough.

"She's so gorgeous," are the words that leave Changbin's mouth. Felix's eyes dart to watch plump lips form over each syllable that leaves a pink tongue tinged red from some energy drink the older man had gotten ahold of. His left lid twitches in an itch to shove his fist down the other's throat and shut him up then and there - but the words he spoke were true, at the very least.

You were gorgeous; Beautiful; Like a deity to Aphrodite. Felix had never seen such wonders in someone who was flawed. Well - Of course he acknowledged that there were acne scars, your lips weren't completely even in size - your left brow arched just a tad bit more than the right. But by God, if you weren't the most beautiful person he'd ever laid eyes on.

Felix lets his eyes fall back on the picture of you - plastered on Changbin's phone like it's a trophy. He won't scroll past it because he's still looking, even dragging two fingers apart to zoom in on the latte you're holding just to peer at the art created on top from soft milky foam. It makes Felix let out the breath he wasn't aware he had been holding. He doesn't want to watch this, but he can't tear his eyes away from you when you're just - there. In person or on screen.

-

"Good morning!"

He'd never break routine. Showing up for a Steamer - one that he'd always let you choose the flavoring of. You'd never let him down; Cheesecake, Mocha, Pistachio, Caramel. He would take what you would hand him as if it were on a silver platter and garnished with love.

Three weeks - and he'd finally gotten you across from him.

"So this lady handed me a cheese curd from the diner across the street - through the drive thru window."

What a fun story. Were you wearing a new lipgloss? Your mouth - Your lips were shining in a way they never had before. There's glitter mixed in the clear shine and he's staring, head tipping to the side in clear interest. You hadn't picked up on it, too engrossed in the re-telling of your 'wild' day at work. Felix's brows cock upwards when he realizes you're no longer speaking, and then you turn away.

You turn your back to him, and his eyes drop finally to your neck. What he would give to lay a hand on it - to feel how soft your skin is under his fingertips. What he would give to caress over the nape of it when he got to kiss you. What he would do to be able to hold you.

"Oh - shit, okay." Your eyes fall back on Felix across from you and he smiles, eyes already glued to your own. "I think my ride is here, but talk soon?" You're already standing and grabbing your bag from the floor where you'd been sitting, moving to leave the cafe in a rush. There you go with a simple goodbye.

-

He'd already had you across from him.

"Yeah I went in there a couple weeks ago and I couldn't find a place to sit. She was sitting alone so I asked if I could sit with her and she let me - Then she had to get back to work, so that's how i found out she was just on break 'n that she worked there."

Changbin chuckles at his own little story, shortening it and leaving out that the two of you had a nice little conversation for about twenty minutes about just.. the world. Your lives - Who you were, how the weather was. And you were so polite; So kind, and pretty - and you didn't find it oddly creepy when Changbin had asked to exchange Instagrams with you where your conversation carried into messages back and forth each day and night.

Nothing past friendly banter, of course.

Felix smiles. "She's nice, isn't she?" To which Changbin nods. "I think every time I pop in there she's working." Of course you were. Monday through Friday, seven in the morning to one in the afternoon. On Tuesdays you went to a friends house immediately after for... well, Felix wasn't sure. He knew where they lived, though.

"She's usually there, yeah." Changbin comments without much thought behind it.

Oh. So he'd gone in to see you before. Multiple times.

-

[CONTENT WARNING: Mentions of death and torture ahead. Read at your own risk.]

"I'm so sorry."

Felix felt no remorse where he stood. The concrete was scuffed beneath his feet, gritted and littered with dirt and dust and footprints from his sneakers. Four lines dug into the ground where Felix had drug a chair in, then buffed them out by dragging Changbin in as well. He'd propped his unconscious body up before layering rope after rope onto him to hold him there. Admittedly, the knots weren't that great - which is why the rope was wrapped so many times.

Changbin was a force to be reckoned with - but Felix was in love.

No amount of pure muscle could stop him from getting what he wanted; And he wanted Changbin out of the picture.

He'd found him in the kitchen of his apartment in the early morning hours and hit him over the head so hard with a brick he'd collected outside the building that he thought he'd killed him on impact with the way Bin's body dropped like dead weight. He'd smacked his head again on the counter as he went down and blood began to pool on the pale eggshell tiles. He'd clean it up later, he swore.

He brought him to the empty parking garage just behind the apartment building. No one parked there anymore. It was shut down for construction a long time ago and as the years went on, plans fell through and now it was claimed un-usable because of how bad it was falling apart. But Felix had spent so much time there watching sunsets and thinking about being there with you that it was almost like a second home - Like a treehouse to a child who lived a rather sheltered life and found it to be their only escape.

That chair? Something Felix had brought there a while ago just to lounge on. It's dingy, it's old, but it does the job, and it creaks under Bin's weight when he begins to stir.

He can't talk. He can't see. He's barely breathing.

"... God, I'm so sorry."

Felix feels nothing. No emotions course through his veins when he looks at Changbin. There's no hatred, no anger - no feeling of being upset with his friend for spending time with you. There's nothing. Felix is empty, like a void in space where there's only one, tiny, glimmering star that slowly burns brighter each time he hits Changbin in the chair. Every time he swings the pocketknife and cuts into the skin of the other's cheek despite him turning his head away.

He's choking. He's growing limp in the seat. He's beginning to go pale.

Felix has barely done anything. He hasn't even told Changbin why he's here - why he's tied to that goddamn chair. He hasn't told him that the girl of his dreams put him there because surely this wasn't Felix's fault at all.

No.. No, he said nothing would ever be your fault.

This was on Changbin's hands. His own demise was his own fault. He'd been stupid enough to get close to you and talk to you like you were meant to be there, sitting across from each other in the coffee shop while he was probably giving you heart eyes and-- .. Now?

Now there's nothing.

When Felix steps in closer to look between parted thighs that had fallen open when the life escaped from the body it had been trapped in, he sees nothing. Soft hues of brown had turned from a warm cocoa into a cool taupe. The whites had fogged over with a soft scuff and the glassy look they'd held each time Changbin had smiled and laughed was long gone.

He'd been gone for a while, and Felix had just been hitting and slicing at a hunk of meat tied to a chair in an empty, broken down parking ramp.

-

You sat at the corner table with your eyes trained on the front door to the cafe. It was almost five in the evening, time for closing - and he hadn't shown today. You'd taken a soft notice of the fact that the man you'd contacted recently after meeting - Changbin, the sweetheart who'd tugged at your heartstrings the moment he sat across from you with a cinnamon roll in hand - often appeared in the shop on Friday evenings after work.

Today it seemed he had other things to do. Which, was fine. You'd gotten off early and stayed around just to see him, however. Hoping to see his smile when he entered the shop and saw you relaxing there with a coffee and your phone out.

He always smiled when he saw you. Maybe that was.. what you liked about him the most. He looked forward to seeing you, and when he finally let his eyes fall on you on those Friday evenings, he lit up like a Christmas Tree someone kept up all year round.

But, maybe someone had pulled the plug and let those lights fall dark. And as you sit there at the table waiting for him to step through the door, the coffee shop remains empty around you. One of your coworkers places her hand on your shoulder, gently coaxing you from your seat and ushering you out the door so she can lock up properly.

The cold air of the evening hits your cheeks and you suck in a small breath, deciding to treat yourself to a drink after working a longer shift. You deserved it. Had to get over the sorrow somehow, right?

-

"Good morning!"

"Morning."

Felix replies this time. He's smiling, eyes brighter than usual two days after he rids of his friend. "Can I get my usual steamer today? Ah - large."

"Ooh, a large? Are you sure you can handle four more ounces of hot milk, big boy?" Your grin is infectious and Felix is giggling as well, tugging his card holder from his jacket pocket to pay for the drink. When he looks to the screen in front of him, the price drops three dollars and he realizes you've put your employee discount on it for him. Just for him.

All for him.

"Big boy?" His voice lilts in a teasing manner and you just bite your lip in reply, still smiling. The skin of your cheeks dimples and Felix finds solace in knowing he'd be the only one in the future to make you shine like that. Being in your presence was the same as sitting in the sun atop the broken parking ramp, letting the rays soak into his skin and create a warmth that coated his entire body like the gel over hard candies with soft insides.

"You're working a Sunday." He claims in slight surprise, watching the way you pause from stepping back from the register. He needs a little more conversation from you after being out of the shop for a few days to make sure nobody caught on - nothing was found. You laugh, then nod, and Felix finds himself smiling just a little more at your giggle.

"Yeah, just- uh, covering for someone who called in today. Six day work week I guess, whoo!~" The ending is soft sarcasm, your hands lifting in the air with a fist pump and drained tone. Working so often was never fun for anyone - even if you were a pretty barista.

And then you turn, and he sees the bruise that had been sucked into the skin of your neck. It's well hidden by your hair and the collar of the shirt you're wearing today - but he sees it, ever-observant Felix. His smile almost instantly drops at the notion that Changbin couldn't have done that considering it had been days.

Huh.

Looks like Felix is going hunting.

-----

Tada! Chapter two in the books, woo hoo! I think a lot of the chapters are going to be written this way with introductions to the characters and then how they know you/what spurs Felix to grow irritated and take them out. I like it, kind of? It feels rushed. I need to figure out how to not push the plot so quickly. Anyway - hope you enjoyed!

Taglist: @chuuchuu1224 @americano4yoongi @hwangskitten @xxinatty @amyz78 @candyquokka @lixiespick @chiaki-nanami-aesthetic

Hc that Kyojuro is a loud snorer only when he doesn’t do concentration breathing, so whenever he’s too tired he definitely would snore, it’s worse after mugen train while he’s recovering

Before I forget, have my kid Agent 22's design for my Redemption AU.

Probably to be redesigned in the future

Y'know what show completely failed at showing their villain actually acting like a villain, and accidentally wrote them a redemption arc bordering on a hero's arc instead?

Stranger Things, with Billy in S3.

"But he *was* the villain! He kidnapped people and fed them to the Mind Flayer and tried to kill everyone!"

...nope. That was the Mind Flayer. Which also possessed Will in S2 and forced him to do things like send a bunch of people into a trap to be killed, and would have made him give up his own and his loved ones' location if he hadn't been knocked out and then blindfolded in a shed. The Mind Flayer, which also possessed a bunch of other people in S3, got them in on the kidnapping of further victims alongside Billy, and convinced them to congregate together towards the end to be melted into a horrifying goo monster.

As far as Billy's *own* actions go? Well...

First, we see 18-year-old Billy working at the local pool, getting preyed on by middle aged women, some of whom are married and have kids Billy's age still in high school with him. He sets up a meeting with one married middle aged woman, who agrees to meet him at a hotel away from town. And then it's on the way to this meetup that he gets abducted and possessed by a terrifying supernatural entity from a creepy shadow dimension that intends to wipe out the whole town, using Billy's body as its first puppet to carry out the major stages of its latest plot.

We see him struggle for control over his body, even doing things like frightening away Mrs. Wheeler when she comes to talk to him, so that he *won't* be used to kidnap her and get her possessed, too.

We see him fail to keep control over his body, when the monster uses a moment of pain-induced weakness to exert its own control.

When the monster is temporarily weakened after his 13/14-year-old stepsister, her 13/14-year-old friends, and some random kid with superpowers lock him in a sauna, his response is to cry, apologize, and beg for someone to help him.

In the end, that same little superpowered girl, a total stranger who he was in the process of feeding to the monster, gets into his head and offers him a moment of genuine compassion, empathy, and connection from within one of the few happy memories of his childhood he had buried himself inside to escape the horrorshow his body was being forced to create against his will.

And because of that one moment of empathy and kindness, freely offered by a stranger who believed that Billy was still capable of being kind, Billy tore control of his body back from the Mind Flayer and put his own body between it and the kid it most wanted to kill. He stood up to a nightmare monster and refused to let it get to the hurt kid behind him, all because she had seen him and cared about him and believed that he could be the good guy in this story.

And then he even used his literal dying breath to apologize to his step-sister, the primary victim of the abusive/bullying agression he had cultivated over his teenage years to cope with the violent abuse he had faced every day at home.

Like...

I'm pretty sure that's a protagonist arc, right there.

katya and dmitry (my beloveds), or discussing mutation motifs in texts from a biological and psychological standpoint

CONTENT WARNING: DISCUSSIONS OF MENTAL ILLNESS AND HUMAN EXPERIMENTATION.

READING-THIS WARNING: I MISINTERPRET STUFF A LOT, THIS IS PURELY MY INTERPRETATION OF THE SERIES. SORRY IF I'M WRONG. :(

When I first watched through Parties are for Losers and its respective songs, my brain was already whirring. Come on. I'm a Vocaloid nerd, obviously I have to look into it, and I know something is up, which means the analysis brain begins. I really enjoyed the Evillous Chronicles, and it seemed as though this was similar. Unlike it, this was actually in English (being set in Russia), and the narrative felt inherently more understandable, although that may just be because it's only 13 songs, compared to Evillous' 82.

AND it covers topics of biology and its affects on psychology. it's perfect. why have i never heard of this before??!?!?!?

There's a lot of aspects to explore within PafL, but I want to specifically focus on Katya (KT) and Dmitry, and their mutations, taking a biological and social approach to their current mental state. I will refer to Katya by her full "name" because it feels a little more humanising, and our baby girl deserves that.

Human experimentation/mutation is a fascinating topic to explore, because it questions the essence of humanity itself - how could you do that to another human being, a child, no less? End and Save is one of my favourite webtoon comics because of this. The abilities that these children gain typically have significant disadvantages, due to the inherently unethical nature of the creation. In some ways, the mutation itself explores corruption.

Biologically, genetic mutations are a natural occurrence, resultant from selection. We are nowhere near the current level needed to cause significant mutation like that of Katya and Dmitry's, and despite what most people think, there's actually no real intention to head in that direction. Therapeutic gene editing (LITERALLY MY SPECIALISED INTEREST. LIKE I WANT TO GO INTO THIS IN THE FUTURE. THIS IS PERFECT.) strays away from eugenics, and focuses on curing genetic disease. It's a fascinating topic of research, and one I hold dear to me. CRISPR my beloved

Katya's mutant ability is directly related to stress. It causes the extensive growth of tissue when she's in a stressful situation, and she has limited control over the flesh. This then has to be cut off, leaving serious wounds to heal on her skin.

art by Ferry

Taking this biologically, it would have to be mutation related to extreme cell division in tissue - in more simple terms, it's not unlike cancer, where a cell does not consider the required markers for division, and instead rapidly divides. Katya's seems far more controlled than cancer, sticking only to particular sites, and also significantly more extreme. Considering the stress required, it may actually be related to an influx of hormonal changes during stress sequences.

As a result of this, Katya is hypersensitive to the emotion of others and can tolerate a high amount of stress, with inherent optimism. She's relatively simple, and tries her best not to let her abilities weigh her down. In the end, she resigns herself to undeserving of true kindness, suggesting she has some well-hidden low self-esteem.

Dmitry's mutant ability seems more controllable, and therefore powerful, than Katya's. He has the ability to pick up anything, with vague limitations on weight, provided he knows specific location and it is within a 15 metre radius.

art by Ferry

Telekinesis from a biological standpoint? I'm not opening that can of worms. I'm not even gonna try. Make it up yourself. I'm pretty sure A Certain Scientific Railgun couldn't even really explain Kuroko's powers, and I'm one small scrawny rat.

Dmitry suffers severe physical consequences as a result of this ability, even using it regularly - severe headaches, loss of consciousness, and dizziness, which can been seen when he attempts to save Anya. Dmitry is significantly more cautious of the outside world than Katya is, and he's somewhat more hostile, threatening Yura and Sanya when he is blackmailed. However, he's practical, likely from the skills taught to him through use of telekinesis.

Dmitry and Katya were set out to have a negative relationship, due to the power dynamics between the two of them making them inherently different people. Dmitry was used for several years as an "assistant" to test Katya's abilities, and seems to hold a grudge with her over that. They have differing opinions on the outside world, particularly due to the way Dmitry's inhumanity was repeated to him often, as the lab researchers began to fear his power. He's not so pessimistic that he acts as contrast to Katya, but the clashing elements still causes them to go their separate ways in KT's Guide.

I couldn't find any specific links between the use of GUMI as KT and Fukase as Dmitry, but I'm sure there is some when considering the different Vocaloids used as a whole. I just wish I could understand what it was, but I don't quite know enough about Vocaloid as a whole for that. Alternatively, it could just be because of gender and the fact that both sound good with the style of the song.

song i wrote this listening to (after PafL, of course): sleep thru ur alarms by Lontalius

it's been a rough night, okay? i needed this as a distraction.

thanks so much to powercoreact for the suggestion! i genuinely really enjoyed this, and you hit my secret hidden love for vocaloid right in the feels. can you believe i watched this like an hour ago??? i feel like i've known it for years.

Chubby thighs save lives 😋❤️

Look at me 

I've been trying to forgive you

Sometimes it's hard because of the unfairness you still give me

Sometimes it's easy because this is your first time here too

But I wonder where the lines got blurred

When did it turn to he's still you're father

Instead of she's still you're daughter?

What kind of identity have you forced upon me?

When I was patiently waiting

When I was patiently praying

That you'd one day see my side too

Yet it is betrayal that I taste again

I've been trying to forgive you

Sometimes it's hard because of the unfairness you still give me

Sometimes it's easy because this is your first time here too

But I wonder where the lines got blurred

When did it turn to he's still you're father

Instead of she's still you're daughter?

What kind of identity have you forced upon me?

When I was patiently waiting

When I was patiently praying

That you'd one day see my side too

Yet it is betrayal that I taste again

I've been trying to forgive you

Sometimes it's hard because of the unfairness you still give me

Sometimes it's easy because this is your first time here too

But I wonder where the lines got blurred

When did it turn to he's still you're father

Instead of she's still you're daughter?

What kind of identity have you forced upon me?

When I was patiently waiting

When I was patiently praying

That you'd one day see my side too

Yet it is betrayal that I taste again

I've been trying to forgive you

Sometimes it's hard because of the unfairness you still give me

Sometimes it's easy because this is your first time here too

But I wonder where the lines got blurred

When did it turn to he's still you're father

Instead of she's still you're daughter?

What kind of identity have you forced upon me?

When I was patiently waiting

When I was patiently praying

That you'd one day see my side too

Yet it is betrayal that I taste again

Forced eyecontact will always make me weak in the knees. Like please grab my chin and force me to look at you while you fuck me.

"Keep those pretty eyes on me while I fuck you, baby."

Yooo you remembered my (birth + 2.5 months)day! This looks amazing, I love the little ghost hat <3 Thanks!!

@lunathrix 

surprise

here ya goooo , I know nothing about hollow knight but seemingly its your thing

For those who have seen the documentary, what did you think about it?

It’s almost here

*Deep sigh*..SHE IS THE PRETTIEST BITCH I’VE EVER SEEEN!! LIKE, JUST LOOK AT HER-

Let's go gamers I'm 17 now

AWWW THAT'S SO SADDD

in the trafficsona central discord server, we assigned soulmates and at the time I was the only one without a partner. so naturally, I had to dramatise it in a comic 😌

featuring @cakeh42, @closet-thing, @grainsil0, @sc0tchtype, @rorylow, @cardboardairplane and a few more friends!

Modramos 🫶

What should I draw next? (Football related)