July 18 - Tumblr Posts

I MISSED THE FUCKING ANNIVERSARY OF EGGMAN PISSIN ON THE MOON

I’ve come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog’s a bitch-ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife! That’s right, he took his hedgehog-fuckin’ quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was “this big,” and I said “that’s disgusting,” so I’m making a callout post on my Twitter.com: Shadow the Hedgehog, you’ve got a small dick, It’s the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here’s what my dong looks like! That’s right, baby, tall points, no quills, no pillows — look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong! He fucked my wife, so guess what, I’m gonna fuck the Earth! That’s right, this is what you get: my SUPER LASER PISS!! Except I’m not gonna piss on the Earth, I’m gonna go higher!! I’m pissing ON THE MOON! How do you like that, Obama?! I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT!! You have twenty-three hours before the piss drrrrroplllllllets hit the fucking Earth! Now get outta my fucking sight, before I piss on you too!

july 18: fake | @jegulus-microfic | word count: 278

“You’re not real. You can’t be,” he whispered as the man he loved stroked the side of his face.

“I’m here, I’m here and I’m real and I love you so much, darling.”

Regulus screwed his eyes shut before the tears could fall. “No. You’re fake. It’s fake, it’s fake, it’s f—“

“I’m here, you can feel me, I’m real, it’s not fake, please, Regulus, just look at me,” the other man pleaded quietly, thumbs swiping gently at tears on Regulus’ cheeks.

Regulus opened his eyes and stared at him through the haziness of tears.

And there he was. James. With his tanned skin and dark curls. Eyes so focused on Regulus that one might have thought that he was the only thing James had ever seen in his life. 

Regulus clutched at James’ arms, straining to find a way to get closer. To see he’s really here.

“It’s just me, love. Please, breathe. You’ve known me for 9 years, we’ve been dating for 5 months,” James reassured him. “None of this is fake.”

“It has to be!” Regulus burst out with a heaving sob. “I’m not lucky enough to actually have you in my life. I-It can’t be real. I’m not that lucky!”

“Reg…”

Regulus wrenched out another sob and crumpled into James’ chest. 

“You’re too good for me… I don’t— I can’t deserve this… Please… Don’t leave me, Jamie…”

“I’ll never leave you, darling. You deserve the world, please don’t ever tell yourself otherwise.”

Regulus felt a kiss on the top of his head as he sobbed, curling into James’ embrace.

“I love you, Regulus. I’m here.”

“I love you too, Jamie. Thank you for staying.”